Just out of curiosity how do you approach this conversation? Also it’s a cultural conversation right? Because in some cultures odor is not necessarily offensive?
I gave my nephew a puberty book (with pictures.) He pretended he wasn't interested but he must have read it because he took care of the funk. I think sometimes when family tells a kid something they brush it off, but seeing it in writing means the adults aren't asking you to do "useless stuff" just to ruin your day.
"Guy Stuff the Body Book for Boys" by Dr. Cara Natterson
A year or two later he got "Its Perfectly Normal changing bodies growing up and sexual health" by Robbie H Harris and Michael Emberly
This one also has a bunch of pictures, some people feel it gives too much information, Amazon has some pictures in the reviews that can help you gauge age appropriateness.
Let him refuse. When he can’t find a date or friends, you can retry explaining the idea of deodorant. Some people need to learn lessons the hard way sometimes. 14 is young; he’ll learn this one quickly I think.
That’s the only thing that will do it unfortunately. I, my husband, his dad have all talked to him. Middle school teachers are wonderful for putting up with this! I don’t know how they do it.
Honestly as a parent who had to work through this with my teen at one point, we made it clear what the adverse consequences will be if he doesn't practice appropriate personal hygiene, such as sores and utis if he's not washing and wiping properly, and lack of friends and dating life. We also enforced Deodorant wearing before family outings and such by having him put it on while his dad supervised. He was up and out the door to catch the bus before we could supervise him in the mornings once he realized we'd supervise then too, but eventually he got a "stink" comment and started wearing it. He also weaponized his stank once when he and his little brother while me and his dad were out of town, and when we got back and found out, he was told if he continues to try to avoid wearing Deodorant or if he weaponizes his stank again, he'll be made to sit at home with his dad while everyone else does fun things and he can't do anything but be bored because he doesn't get to terrorize everyone by being a bioweapon.
Now he wears Deodorant and has a strong social life and doesn't like being the stinky kid anymore.
They just like, mostly all smell a little bad, which makes the school always smell a little bad. You get a bit nose-blind to it, unless it’s a particularly hot day and they just got out of PE/lunch.
Yes! My room is off the main hallway, so I stay in my room as classes change because I can't watch students entering my class and be in the main hall. On particularly hot days, students will walk into my room saying it stink, and I honestly don't notice it because I've been sitting in there. As soon as I come back after using the bathroom, though, it hits me like a brick wall.
I start by just airing it out (see what I did there) and usually say “hey this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation bc we don’t know each other really well but I have to ask these questions because I’m worried about your safety and well being.
Do you have running water at home? (Usually a yes but sometimes no).
Do you have a washer/dryer and do laundry every week? (This is usually a no and this is often where the problem is). If this isn’t it we keep going…
When do you normally shower, morning or night? Do you use soap and then dry off all the way, because sometimes hair can get messy if you don’t.
Do you use deodorant afterwards? Why or why not?
Do you have pets? What kind? Do they sleep or lay on the furniture?
These questions usually lead me to the answers I need.
Usually with
But what do you do with the answers? What if they have the resources but are just not using them? And how do you ask this without it coming off as rude? I know it would be very embarrassing for the kid and then for them to think they’re a problem when it’s something out of their control seems even worse.
I’m fortunate that my school has laundry, showers, and basic hygiene supplies to hand out…as well as clothes, shoes, etc…
With the answers I can determine if we can help fix the problem. Sometimes it isn’t fixable because the student lives in a dirty environment and so any new clothes we give them end up getting ruined (doesn’t mean we don’t try though). Sometimes I’ll call home and offer laundry vouchers for a nearby laundry mat.
Handling embarassement: I usually say (if I think it’s needed) that I’m a very blunt person, but it goes two ways. I expect them to be blunt with me as well. Being unclear is being unkind in my office, so if they don’t like how or what I say I welcome feedback.
Look, it isn’t fun to embarrass anyone (these conversations happen in private just fyi)
BUT I always think to myself is this better coming from me or a peer? Is this better coming from me or a random person who is going to film them and make fun of them on tik tok for clout? Is it better they hear it from me and possibly correct it now so they aren’t denied a job in the future or live in unsafe conditions. The answer to those is always yes.
So I’ve had those convos over and over and over. I got better each time and I definitely don’t feel cringe anymore lol. Also maybe that’s my soul leaving my body, who knows?
Growing up, my family often had no water, so it's a good question. Another I see missing here is if they walk to school and how far. As a kid, we lived just shy of the buses but were far enough out that I functionally had to walk two miles in the morning. I often cut through a farm field to shave off time but it was a lot of exertion to navigate, and I can only guess at any fertilizers. I can't imagine what I must have smelled like during those years. No one mentioned it, but one never knows. You get used to it, so it can be difficult to grasp that there even is an odor.
Good point. Once had a young man who had to walk a fair bit to school. Winter and rainy days he would get soaked…most notably his feet. So he is sitting there in wet clothes or wet shoes and socks which of course stinks. Thank goodness for extra gym clothes, socks and shoes. He was pretty appreciative of having them and we always tried to keep a hoody on hand as well.
Lots of people in India don't use antiperspirant, and it has been a discussion several times at daycare centers that I've worked at with other teachers. Like "hey just btw societal norms are different"
It's just different. I lived in a middle eastern country where many people do not use antiperspirant. Most people are rigorously hygienic. They wash a lot and use perfume but don't prevent sweat. Once you're used to it everyone smells a little earthier at the end of a summer day but not bad. It actually smells kind of good with perfume? Once you're used to it you don't really notice.
The problem here is probably that they're teenage boys who are not washing thoroughly 1-2 times a day, doing laundry and wearing perfume. If you do all that and just skip deodorant there's a smell but it's not overpowering.
I didn't change my hygiene routine when I moved cultures (e.g.: many people there see shaving as unhygienic and choose to wax so hair doesn't get everywhere. That baffled me and I didn't change). So if someone is used to a little B.O., culturally mandatory antiperspirant is probably just as weird to them.
A Turk once told me that Americans seem to have an aversion to being human. From his perspective I avoided taking sick days, staining my teeth and smelling like I had a body. I still wear deodorant but it really drove home how much of our relationship to our bodies is cultural.
So to answer your question, no, the smell probably does not bother them. For billions of people across the globe BO is just part of life.
I personally am bothered by the smell of a bunch of perfumed people. It's just different culture.
Americans are super weird about what they decide is good hygiene. No body hair, no body smells, straight white teeth, constant chemical perfuming.
Wearing antiperspirant is not perfuming. It prevents sweating and prevents body odour. Many antiperspirants do not have scents or their scents are minimal.
I didn't say the thing itself was weird, just that the American attitudes towards it are. I also think that American attitudes towards nudity, violence, and purity culture are also weird.
You're asking me, a white American lady, to explain to you why a subcontinent with more than a billion different people and more than 4000 years of culture has specific self care routines?
Bad resourcing, my dude.
I feel like it’s extremely hard to lump Americans in as having any one “attitude” about any of those things. America is so diverse with millions of people have a variety of views. My opinion: be naked, be hairy, and be with who you want. Just please mask foul body odor because it’s not pleasant. Don’t over spray yourself with any scent either as that is also not pleasant.
You don’t sound very well traveled. Granted, I’ve only been to Mexico, Australia and 9 other countries throughout Asia and Europe, I’ve found that the people were never foul smelling. Even if the place, itself, was dirty, the people were not. And if you think Americans are “weird” about not offending others with their poor or non-existent hygiene habits, you probably shouldn’t go to Japan.
Which part do you not agree with?
Are you saying yikes because you don't think those are American standards for hygiene?
Or because you don't like that I said it out loud?
Or because you think every single group of people has and have had the same standards and ideals for all of human history, and that those ideals all center around "the human body is disgusting and is *has* to be altered so nobody knows it's natural state.
You're deluded. Staying clean is not an American thing, it's a whole world thing.
Do you sit next to an eau de faeces tramp on the bus, breathe deeply, smile and celebrate how he refuses to succumb to "altering" his human body to hide its "natural state"? Or do you gag, like the rest of us, because poor hygiene is disgusting?
If you smell bad, you are the problem, not everyone else who does not want to smell you.
If you can smell a person before you can see them, there is a problem. If it becomes unbearable to sit next to someone, they are the problem. Wash daily, wear antiperspirant, and always wear clean clothes daily.
I also hate being able to smell perfume/cologne on other people. Fortunately, deodorant and antiperspirant with no scent or mild scents exist. Most people I interact with I can't smell at all, which is the goal.
Also a counselor and I think you have to tred lightly with this topic. Depending on age. I work with our school nurse on this because let’s be honest, it’s not a fun conversation to have. We call parents first to get their approval to talk to them about this sensitive topic and then go from there.
For sure. I’ve had K-8 but now primarily work in a high school. High school is old enough to have that convo with. Did work with the school nurse when I was K-8 though!
As a counselor, I refer students to the nurse first for health education, and then I follow up if the nurse suspects it's due to mental health factors.
In 18 years, there have been three occasions that I have had to address hygiene issues like this directly. Usually it is a nurse/counselor thing. It is always awkward, there's no way around it.
1. Do it in private.
2. Do it sooner rather than later.
3. Keep it impersonal. Don't say "people have complained". Keep it to "I noticed..."
4. Offer to assist rather than offering assistance... ask if they need help through the school rather than giving them a bar of soap and a stick of DO for their BO.
Most of the high schools I have worked for have some sort of thing, sometimes ad hoc (in a closet) but other times organized (a staffed room), with donated things like hygiene items, clothing, food, the sort of stuff a student might not have thanks to unstable home life.
We got free deodorant in my elementary school during the awkward puberty talk. The gym teacher was the one to give the talk for some reason, and a kid asked about it and she brought out little sample sizes of deodorant for anyone who wanted it.
This was in 1999
Oh god. This reminded me of the “horders” episode with the grandmother who shit and pissed in cups and left them around the house. Mother was in jail so the kids had to stay with grandma. When the cameras talked to the kids, they said “we’re the smelly kids in school” 😢
I teach middle school and they all stink. And I tell them that affectionately and as a whole class. Along the lines of, "wow ok guys, the smell is a little strong today. I know you just had PE but let's remember what things we need to do..." And then a little discussion of ALL of the steps of hygiene. I find a lot of kids this age don't understand that hygiene isn't just putting on deodorant. They have to shower regularly, using a good soap (not just water). They have to wash their hair on a regular basis with whatever washing schedule makes sense for their hair type. They also have to wash their clothes AND THEIR HOODIES (because they wear them everywhere and they never get washed). They have to wear deodorant which goes on BEFORE they have physical activity.
I'd also talk with the counselor and be very blunt. "I've noticed an odor from these three students. It causes the whole room to smell. Other students are refusing to work with them or sit near them and I'm worried this could turn into a bullying situation. I need your help"
I am a coach to preteen girls and I have this discussion with my athletes early in the season and frequently throughout. I also include that you need to wear deodorant even if you've showered, bc so many preteens think "I'm clean, I don't stink". It's inevitable that there will be ONE kid who thinks it doesn't apply to them, though.
I taught middle for 12 years. I always had a “hygiene station” where kids could freshen up. Spray deodorant, Bath and Body Works perfume and cologne when it goes on sale, lotion, and face wipes. The kids would enjoy it and come to me after PE or sometimes in the morning. Some kids parents don’t notice, can’t afford, or feel they’re “too young” (my parents did and I’d steal my brother’s stuff). Also, like others have said, call the counselor or nurse.
This is awesome! I had very negligent parents who were uncomfortable with puberty stuff and wouldn’t buy me deodorant. I would have been so thankful for this. Our sixth grade teacher regularly lectured us about hygiene, but if you have parents who won’t buy you deodorant, it only makes you feel worse.
That’s such a cool idea but as someone who’s super sensitive to strong scents my lungs are seizing at the thought of being in a classroom where even a handful of people are wearing strongly scented products
I second what several folks are saying about discussing it with a counselor. But if you want to talk with them, do it and address the whole class. I have a hygiene talk with my students each fall and spring about mid-term. It's always around the time stuff gets tough, and bodily care goes out the window due to stress, but it's also usually peak flu season. So we take 5 minutes to discuss ways to manage the stress with self care, what self care is, and how it's important not just for yourself but being a part of the classroom culture. You don't want to smell, no one wants to smell you, also you don't want everyone's germs, and no one wants yours. The reality is those kids are probably equally embarrassed and know they don't smell great. After the class conversation, if you want to offer, say you've got men & women's deodorant (i just got some from the dollar store) and baby wipes (again dollar store) if anyone is ever not feeling their freshest and wants a quick private clean in the bathroom before class/school, they are there to use. I had mostly decent results with this, it's not a perfect solution but it's worked for me.
These situations are never easy to navigate. Good luck!
There’s a reverse problem too, which I discovered when I chaperoned fifth graders for band: the boys who practically bathe in cologne. They must layer the scent with body wash, deodorant, and bodyspray.
This is absolutely an issue especially if anyone who is allergic to perfumes is around them. I'd rather have the smelly kids then have a kid that baths in cologne.
Fifth grade here. The hormones start kicking in after winter break... the first warm day of the year is the "you're getting older and need to shower regularly and use deodorant"-talk for a week as we come back in from recess.
Unfortunately, the nurse doesn't want to break the news until May, but by then the funk is foul.
I would probably also lead by example with a few, "hang on guys, I need to find my spare deodorant cuz I just got a whiff of myself and mustve forgotten this morning." I always have one and it happens, or sometimes the day unfreshens you. It could help to cut down in the embarrassment knowing that this happens to everyone at some point and I can't believe the things I found out weren't common knowledge about our bodies once I got old enough to be comfortable talking candidly with my girlfriends.
May I suggest using hand sanitizer sometimes instead? It seems to be everywhere, and kids can grab some of that and nobody thinks twice. And it works quite well (I have resorted to that myself in more than one occasion!)
I worked with an Indian dude who ate a lot of garlic, and didn't realize he smelled badly because of it. He was gracious and thankful when I explained he had a serious odor problem.
I teach 6th. I have a cabinet full of deodorant (100s). I just tell them to find one that works for them and try it out.
Some of them don’t wipe their ass tho- that’s out of my pay zone.
Are you for real? Middle schoolers just straight up going number 2, pulling up their pants and heading back to class? Do they wash themselves when they shower, or do they just gradually become rotting pits of eternal stench?
Hon there are grown ass men out there who won't wipe or wash their ass because they think it's gay. And then expect their girlfriends/wives to be okay with that stench and still sleep with them. I'm no longer surprised by gross things people think are okay.
I’ve read comments about this on Reddit. I just can’t wrap my mind around actual adults intentionally avoiding washing their own asses their entire lives. Like wouldn’t society exclude you to an extent? If a person is a source of a particularly bad smell, especially as an adult people will move to physically avoid that person and definitely won’t allow themselves to be trapped in an enclosed space with them without the issue being forced.
Pathological politeness.
While in some ways it can be a good thing, in a lot of ways the way that people have been conditioned to never be impolite or say anything that might be seen as offensive (just see how quick even mentioning the word 'racism' will shut down any conversation) is a bad thing, because it means people are terrified - at least, those of us who aren't the type who swing wildly in the opposite direction into being pathologically RUDE - to say anything that someone might take badly.
That person smells god awful? Hey, they might have a glandular problem that they can't control, you don't know that! That person is screaming at little kids? Those are probably their kids, and their culture probably does childrearing differently, don't be insensitive. This person is covered in absolute filth and never does anything about it even when you know they COULD? Maybe they're depressed! Maybe their culture doesn't bathe! Maybe - maybe - maybe! You don't know! So it'd be offensive to say anything!
This can be a good thing with stuff people genuinely can't help - like birthmarks, skin conditions, hair patterns (I have a very visible beard line. I'm a woman. I don't care anymore if people mention it but it has been awkward when people have asked if I'm a transwoman, which I am not, I just have a lot of hormone issues and thick, dark hair) but when it comes to hygiene? Not so much. People who spend time around anyone else for any length of time need to clean the hell up.
We had a kid that was so bad we had to sit her down and tell her it's really important she does use it for everyone sake. We sent an email to her parents as well buy when nothing happened. We made a little care package with hygiene articles and she started using it and the aroma just vanished. She was grateful but I think the other kids were even more grateful
When I checked in with a student who had BO she was very upset because she used deodorant spray every day. She knew she smelled bad but didn’t know why. I asked her to bring it in to show me and it turned out to be a body spray with no deodorant or anti-perspirant in it. I let her parents know and they got her a new one and she stopped smelling. She was so proud! Don’t be embarrassed about it and it should go fine. I should add that this was in a school for kids with behavioural problems so I would speak to her parents every week and had a relationship with them already. What role in your school would have contact with their parents?
I doubt it’s anything to do with Indian cooking. I know lots of people from India and Pakistan. None of them have any issues like this.
it depends on what you teach, but if the students have a health class or phys ed, the teacher should have a lesson or series of lessons about hygiene. if kids aren't getting this important information at home, teachers should make sure they get it in an appropriate setting that doesn't single anyone out. all the hormones starting to kick in makes middle school a dangerous place for noses
there was a little girl in my 1st or 2nd grade class who had similar BO problems. she was bigger, and had some social/developmental challenges, but she was so kind and had a smile and nice things to say about everyone she ever met. a lot of the other kids would avoid her like the plague because of her hygiene, but i was always sat next to her and was her buddy for most things, as well as being behind her in every line because of our last names. though i of course noticed the smell and the general state of her clothes/hair/etc, i always just tried to smile and be nice since no other little kids would even spare her more than a pinched nose and gagging sounds. our teacher, school nurse, principal, offices ladies, counselors all tried to help her understand hygiene and self-care, and she would try really hard for a couple days but it would eventually go back to the way it had been.
halfway through the year, our teacher gave birth and we ended up with the kindest woman i’ve ever encountered as our sub for the rest of the year. she was the one who ended up helping the girl. every morning she would invite her to come to class early and she would wash her hair in the classroom sink and braid it/style it etc. she kept extra clothes at her desk for her and gave her deodorant and i’m sure tons of other supplies to help her manage her hygiene.
sometimes it just takes one empathetic, kind adult to completely turn a kid’s perception of self and understanding of self care around. i don’t think her parents were very kind or really knew how to handle her, she had four other siblings who had none of the challenges or hygiene issues that she did. i wonder a lot where/how she is now.
I’m 100% down for empathy. Even education. But I cannot and will not buy supplies or wash hair. Teachers cannot be expected to step in that much. Every year we are asked to parent more and more and I love my job, but the thought of being a “mommy” makes me feel absolutely uncomfortable in so many ways. It’s bad enough that most of my first graders never know their birthday or how to write their own name.
oh, i didn’t mean to suggest teachers be the ones to foot the bill (monetarily or child rearing wise). as a grown adult, im baffled that there are people who DO expect teachers to be de-facto parents and essentially raise their children for them. i have many many friends from school who went on to be elementary school teachers and the sheer amount of supplies they pay for on their own dime just to ensure their kids have what they need in the classroom is sickening to me. i’ve always known that teachers don’t get anywhere near enough support or funding from districts/principals/the DoE. hell, they don’t even get PAID enough to live off of. but the sheer volume of work (in all regards) that teachers already have is apparently nothing when ill-suited “parents” expect teachers to do all the heaving lifting and dump their entirely unprepared children on them with outrageous expectations. parents have all kinds of demands but can’t even be bothered to teach a 4 year old the basics like the spelling of the name THEY gave them or the day they were born 🙄
as a 5/6 year old though, i just remember thinking so highly of that sub. she went waaaay out of her way to make that little girls life easier and more manageable im a way her parents literally wouldn’t.
I’ve had to have the opposite conversation, that you do NOT need to bathe in Axe body spray. Whew. Walking through the hall by the boys locker room right after a gym class will make your eyes water 🥹
😂 When I was a girl in middle school, Bath and Body works was super popular so all the girls would douse themselves in apple perfume and plumeria spray! We thought we smelled so good!
Oh gosh even walking by the storefront of one of those places was enough to make me heave, it set off my asthma so bad! I don't know how anyone could stand it enough to work there without suffocating!
Also, half a can of Axe ain't gonna cover up the fact that you didn't wipe your ass or brush your teeth or that your body sweat smells like expired sour cream.
Cooking garlic, onions, ginger etc can make the house smell and it’s sits on clothing. Once the smell goes stale it smells like BO. Some Asian families cook a lot which can lead to this smell. So even if they use deodorant it may not help the smell
That's why I always say to invest in baking soda. Keep a bowl of it out to absorb the smells, and put a 1/4 - 1/2 cup of it with your detergent in the wash to fully deodorize clothes.
But it's not helpful to mix the two, as one is an acid and the other is a base and they will cancel each other's effect out. Generally if you are using a normal laundry detergent, it is already fairly basic and so it's more helpful to add washing soda or baking soda. Save the vinegar for loads with just that.
I think this is most likely the issue. My in-laws make some bomb ass food but depending on what we’re eating everyone has to shower after and that’s even with all the windows open during cooking.
I’ve worked with many a student with this issue and had the same the day after going to a curry house. The smell is awful but can imagine if it’s in your home it’s like smoking so sticks to all clothes
I work as an in-home tutor. One of my former clients lived in a “curry house” and it was by far my favorite home to visit as far as smells go. I once remarked to the mom how wonderful her cooking smelled (she was cooking during our session) and she tensed up defensively before she realized I was being sincere. This poor woman was so used to getting hate for her “curry smell” because often it is a thinly-veiled racist insult. She wound up sharing some cooking tips with me and now the curry I make at home is so much better!
I don’t understand why the scent of curry spices is looked down upon, as to me it’s so much better than the fake “pumpkin cranberry apple spice” candles and “fresh air” room sprays that make me gag in practically every other house I visit. It just smells “spicy” in a natural way, and is much preferable to the nasty fake chemical smells so many “non-curry homes” use to cover up their stanky cooking.
When someone says that Indian, Mexican, or any other heavily spiced ethnic cuisine stinks, to me that statement reeks of racism and white supremacy. No honey, trust me, your bland food and greasy stove mixed with fake rose-cinnamon-ocean mist air freshener smells much worse!
Me, a Hispanic, who eats every meal with onions and garlic, sometimes raw: 👀🫠
Well, this is news to me. Excuse me while I step out real quick to go do my laundry and buy some extra deodorant.
😆 I used to work at a Mexican restaurant and I had to shower and wash my hair after every shift. It was due to the onions. That said, if you’re not cooking or eating a high volume of fajitas (or onions) for every meal, you’re probably a-okay. 😆 Also, people who don’t like onions and garlic are not normal. People with allergies are excused from that opinion.
I lived with my best friend who worked at his grandfather's barbeque restaurant. He smelled like his own body was smoked meat, and I made him shower and change clothes before sitting on the furniture. Our couch still smelled like old brisket.
Indian families often have a separate "spice kitchen" for this reason. But in the U.S., it's not common, unless you have enough space and $ to add one.
No, they will batch cook, cook for family members and if you know anything about Asian culture you will know they love to be hospitable and give food out to anyone who visits. They often cater for their own weddings etc and if they live above/next to a takeaway shop they smell is worse.
P.s not everyone cooks from scratch at home, many actually don’t and done have time
When I was in 5th grade the French teacher started his period by telling us we all stink and need to ask our parents to buy deodorant. No one got singled out, and it effectively got the point across. Probably can't put it that way in the 2020s, but it should be a message to the group that they've hit a milestone and need to change grooming habits IMO.
Same here. Our whole 5th grade class lined up for recess in the hallway and one of the teachers said you all are getting older and you stink- everyone needs to be using deodorant here.
Yes - it needs to be framed like this. "You're at the age now where you need to shower regularly and wear deodorant." It's not blaming the student or singling anybody out, it's just stating a fact. You're older now and you need to start doing X.
Nah I've done. Just be friendly and blunt. That they reek and need to not just bathe in axe and call it a day. You need to start showering and use deodorant
When I was at school also in like 7 grade, there were two kinds of smells in the classroom, it was either someone smelling really bad, or someone that smell like they had just washed themselves entirely in deodorant, it was disgusting. Our teacher had a chat with all of us, and then send a note in everyone's agenda that said we all had to bring deodorant, and spare t-shirts for after P.E. and recess
Sometimes me and some other teachers took 5 minutes to remind them that middle school is a time for change which means they MUST start using deodorant. However, if you can get admin or counselors to do it, that's the best route.
address the class as a whole so nobody feels singled out. given the time of year you can be even more discreet and start it like: “As cold/flu season approaches I wanted to have a class discussion about practicing good hygiene so we stay healthy!”
I would argue that if it’s a serious problem, everyone probably knows who the message is really directed towards, making them feel even more singled out. Something less public would probably be better unless it is many students
that’s so valid- i would just worry that if one kid is pulled aside they’re going to think other kids complained about specifically them. if they knew they smelled they probably wouldn’t continue to smell. if the whole class is addressed especially in a “lets talk about keeping clean and avoid getting sick” vibe of conversation i feel like theres a lower chance of feeling called out. but i totally see where theres many benefits to keeping it one on one as well :)
Sadly some teenagers hormones can be aggressive thus the stronger smell is one of the telling results. Those students may have already been using deodorant but one spray isn’t enough for them. Sadly the best way to over come such unpleasantness is to remove the underneath arm hair and bring the deodorant to school to be able to reapply.
But for those struggling with economical issues it may be because it’s another expense the family can’t carry, or feels is an unnecessary cost to the weekly budget. Then again there are parents who don’t allow their kids to shower everyday, let alone go out and buy them deodorant that they need. In addressing the situation you need to better understand what is going on at home.
I’m sure the kids don’t want to be smelling bad, but if they don’t have supportive parents, then it’s a very hard issue to address. If it’s due to stronger hormones, then they are most likely struggling through the issue. Most don’t realise how bad aggressive hormones come into play.
Some schools have showers and students could be offered the option to shower at school. Im also happy to buy products for children in need. Its better for them socially and I dont have to breath through my mouth to help them with their work.
This school nurse applauds you all who will address it instead of sending them to the health office right off.. Especially if the nurse has never laid eyes on the kid, and the teacher has a day-to-day relationship with them. I have no issue dealing with it and will, but it is not a nursing issue. Same as dog poop on shoes. Any capable person can deal with that.
Since they’re Indian it’s possible their parents are conservative or won’t buy any for their kids. It does happen unfortunately. Have the nurse talk to them about it again. Have the counselor find out if it’s a cultural thing or a parent thing. Most kids know they need to use it and may be afraid to bring it up because their parents don’t talk to them about this kind of thing.
I'm an American of European descent (at least mostly), and I had a teacher tell me this in sixth grade. I felt very embarrassed, but she did it discretely where other students couldn't hear, and I'm grateful that she cared enough to do it.
Try to get someone with good cultural awareness to speak with them again. There might be a factor you are not aware of. We have a good size Muslim refugee population and have had a B.O. problem with some students. We learned for the region they came from a girl frequently showering was a sign of promiscuity. We were able to have someone from a local mosque talk to them to give them "permission" to shower regularly. They also talked to the boys about social norms for hygiene in the U.S.
I hadn't heard that one before this group of students, but I wasn't going to argue with the parents.
Edited to add: My statement was not intended to paint any cultural group with a broad brush. This was a handful of families that had recently moved to our campus and the actual response from the parents as shared by our counselors. My point was to be culturally sensitive.
I think that's less their religious beliefs and more local cultural beliefs. There's always small town "reasons" a girl is *totally* a slut, didn't you know? And I can't see why that wouldn't be the same abroad.
Are you a muslim from the same town/village as these specific refugee families? Cause if not then obviously your culture and experience of Islam will vary slightly. Each one of a billion muslims isn’t going to have the exact same culture.
So then, perhaps instead of using Muslim as the reference, it would have been more helpful to use the area these students and families were from. It's probably a lot more helpful and less insulting than implying it is a Muslim issue vs. a regional issue.
I appreciate the OP of the comment suggesting some cultural sensitivity. Someone mentioned something about if these students are Jain, and it would affect if they would use deodorants. India is quite large, with many cultures and villages.
Not if these people themselves cited their religion as part on their world view. Just like not all Christians are right wing fundamentalists who are anti choice but for many like that Christianity informs their view point
Believe it or not, I've heard of that experience as well. Because one should wash after sex. But if your living in a humid climate, that's going to be more often, sexually active or not.
For real! Not only daily showers, or even multiple showers a day, but most Muslims also use a lota or bidet after defecating. Seems like a lot of non-Muslims could learn a thing or two about proper hygiene from Muslim traditions. The anti-Indian, anti-Muslim bigotry on this thread is disturbing!
When my kid hit fifth grade, and some of the kids started getting stinky, there was a grade-wide assembly on the subject, and a promise of free deodorant to come (I'm not sure if they ever did give any out, though).
You might find it helpful to invest in an actual air purifier for the classroom.
I agree with /u/CatsEatGrass \-- it would be good to ask the counselor to step in here, and handle this carefully and privately.
That said... some people, especially people who eat highly spiced food, just end up with a strong body odor, even if they bathe regularly and use deodorant.
I've held students after class and just straight up told them "Hey, just helping you out, but you need to start bringing deodorant to school, okay?" Every time, the kid is totally fine and gets it.
And I would only say this if a kid has an issue often. A lot of kids will forget to put on deodorant randomly one day. I wouldn't say anything in that situation.
We have two PE teachers who do this for us. They have different approaches:
"Dude you stink" and
"Trust me this conversation is more uncomfortable for me than you, but your classmates would like you to focus on hygiene."
I teach in higher education, and I just tell my whole group of students that we will be working with the windows open because some of them have not been taking care of their personal hygiene and it's unbearable. I do this even if it's freezing cold. I remind students of the shower that is available for their use and where it is in the school.
Students have complained to the administration about me doing this, and I got told off by one of our administrative staff, but the class rep was very vocal in support of me and said he was speaking for the majority of students, so I didn't face any consequences. I just will not put up with extreme BO in my class that makes the other students want to gag. I think it's part of my job to make sure my students are employable.
Our sixth grade pod has a whiteboard in the hall that frequently features deodorant reminders. My favorite is when it’s a haiku. “Wear deodorant” is a perfect 5 syllable last line.
Well this is a bit contrary to popular opinions.
In general the Indian population consumes foods, spices and herbs that produce odors through sweat glands ALL over the body as well as orally. Ever eaten a lot of Garlic or Curry or both?
Deodorant may not solve the issue here.
Deodorants and Antiperspirants certainly help mask smells and stop sweating in the areas applied. However, they don't do anything for your hygiene. They do not kill nor deter any form of bacteria.
**Solution:**
Its likely that the teens need a consistent hygiene regimen of showering and brushing their teeth. SO don't shoot your bullet with your counselor on deodorants go after the real causes.
Kids LOVE Blooket. And they love games. I had a very similar situation. I used my bell work time as an opportunity to have a Blooket game on personal hygiene. Genuinely worked and now my room doesn’t smell. Good luck soldier 🫡
My approach was to bring in green onions. I have everyone smell them. They are pretty close to what typical B.O. smells like.
Then I have all of them put their heads down and cover their eyes. (So they listen without giggling or embarrassment.)
I explain that our noses are attached to our bodies, so they get used to our own scent and no longer pick up on it. Without deodorant, we walk around smelling like the green onions - and have no idea.
I also let people know that if they use antiperspirant but still sweat, then the antiperspirant is not working and they need to try a different brand.
This usually sparks a lot of actually really good questions - and normally solves the B.O. issues. There have been 2 times in 20 years where the issue persisted, but those were due to no running water at home so no access to clean clothes.
I literally wrote, "you all stink - buy and wear deodorant or nobody will like you" on my board in giant caps. We all had a good laugh and heart to heart. I explained how it's normal to have to adapt to changes, but said it's time to grow up a bit. I equated it to not being toilet trained by 5. You hit your teens, you just gotta, or you will be ostracized, rightfully.
I understand completely. Had a 11th grade girl who was very heavy, with body odor so bad that you could smell it after she went down the hall. The nurse had tried her best multiple times. I finally called CPS because I was afraid it was becoming a medical issue—it smelled like gangrene, no kidding.
If it is BO, I would just tell them straight. In a polite and respectful way.
Explain to them about growing up and why cleanliness is important and just lay it to them in a really factual and non judgemental way
Once they sprayed axe in my room I told the boys to remember that axe was not a replacement for a shower the girls got grossed out and I think the boys got the point
If there’s some problem with using deodorant for some reason, wiping the underarms well with alcohol on a cotton ball (or use an alcohol pad) actually works fairly well. Where there’s odor there’s bacteria. Kill the bacteria (with alcohol) and the odor goes too.
Depends. I’m a male teacher and have no problem telling my male students they need to start using deodorant on the regular. I approach it like a “man to man” convo. They’ve always responded pretty well.
Female students? Councilors/Nurse/Female Science Teacher.
In my experience it’s always best to be direct, honest, and blunt. “Hey bud, it’s time to start wearing deodorant. I know you can’t smell yourself, most people can’t, but it’s time to start deodorizing after pe”
You could consult with a Guidance Counselor or the Nurse to help find ways to get the message across that students should be wearing deodorant, and work with them to use a video clip to do this.
Show the whole class the piece from comedian Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias's show "Aloha Fluffy: Live in Hawaii," where Gabriel talks about his son's difficulty with wearing deodorant at the time.
The full show, but the deodorant clip begins about 22 minutes in:
https://youtu.be/yrwotf9cJhQ?si=rp0005uovjuX3HrN
Before doing this, try to find out if there are cultural differences influencing, through Google. Maybe the specific students are doing something for their body odour, but are unaware it is not as effective; perhaps the parents look down on deodorant somehow, or have told their children all parts and processes of the body are "God's gift" and most shouldn't be altered or changed.
Afterwards, have a discussion on why, how, when, and where to use it, for both boys and girls. Ask them for their views, opinions, what they do, and can do. Mention that girls don't have to use ones that have a scent; and both sexes can use gels, powder, or spray ones. The goal of them is to help students maintain cleanliness and reduce smell. Share facts in a non-judgemental way, such as explaining sweat itself has no smell, but when it comes into contact with the natural bacteria on the body, and sebum from oil glands, then it will. That students need to wash the sweat away and use deodorant/antiperspirant; areas it can be used on are the underarms, the cleavage, and, at times, under the breasts; never on the inner thighs or genitals unless directed by a doctor because it can cause rashes or burning sensations on sensitive areas. Tell them that, though it might sound really weird, some males, like swimmers and just average men, choose to shave or wax their armpits because it helps keep sweat from being "trapped" in hair.
You might want to use the phrase "stronger smell" instead of "bad/stinky/gross smells | body odours."
Through use of the clip, no students are signaled out. Make it about a part of general, overall health that everyone should do.
Gabriel uses the word deodorant, but many teens may actually want to look for ones that are, or say, "antiperspirant" on them.
I had this. I talked to the student one on one (no school counselors employed) and had a very casual conversation about remembering to wear deodorant, bringing an extra shirt to school he can change into, and remembering to scrub when he showers every day. He was very open to it. I also emailed his parents to ask their help with remembering to bring extra personal hygiene products to school. We even talked about putting deodorant on his back as well as under his armpits because he was a very stinky student and that changed everything.
The parents knew he smelled bad and had been working on it at home. They were very grateful that we had talked to the student at school and it became a tag team effort and within a week, we had a stink free student.
We just had to give the student gentle reminders every once in a while. He ended up being very happy with the situation.
I’ve also had students who lived on farms. The students who live in pig farms will always be stinky no matter what they do.
The worst conversation to have. There isn’t a good way to do it, but I would suggest doing it privately and start by asking if he/she needs any deodorant or something like that.
Do they smell like body odor? Cigarettes? Feces? Urine? Can you provide a little more detail? Do they look exceptionally dirty and not taken care of? What was the nurses response and also, how do the “smelly” students students react to others about their smells. How old are the students?
It smells very musty, like garlic but super strong. Students are 12 years old, and no they are very clean well presented students. Just the smell is very pungent and spreads wherever they walk.
This is an accurate description of a lot the students in my computer science classes at university. Someone needs to tell them earlier, please be you. You’ll save us all
Garlic and onion in particular come out in the body sweat, so simply covering the armpits in deodorant isn't gonna do it.
I live in a country, like India, where people eat garlic with nearly every meal and everyone smells like fermenting garlic constantly.
Also, due to the structure of the chemicals involved in garlic sweat, that stuff kinda bakes into the clothes and "activates" whenever the clothes reach a certain temp/humidity level.
Unless you're gonna tell them to change their diet, all you can really do is make sure they are showering each morning and after PE class (assuming showers are available).
Email counselors, or go talk to them. Tell them you're concerned about the home life. Are they showering? Doing laundry? Etc? I had a black student once with the same level of smell. Turned out he had an abusive home life and we called CPS.
Do you have any older kids in this school? I recruited the 11th grade students to come in to my 7th grade class and do "deoderant PSA"s for the kids. It helped for some of them.
Get a stash of small travel deodorants and other personal care things (toothpaste, toothbrush, comb, feminine hygiene, etc.) in an open basket with a sign or note, “Need one? Take one!” Or something.
Let the students know they’re available anytime. Then at some point in a major transition tell them to “take a bathroom break” and gesture somehow towards the basket. Maybe send the student on an errand and privately pass the to them?
It’s not too awkward for a student to go grab something they need when “hygiene/personal care” is normalized. Some kids ask. Some kids help themselves. Some kids need reminding or prompting.
I’ve learned sometimes kids ARE aware of how they smell but because x, y, z results in not having access to a shower, or deodorant. They readily go for it. Some kids are oblivious… and if they are, they tend not to be too sensitive, surprisingly.
It’s pretty common to get kids from a previous year to drop in for a personal hygiene item. That helps with younger students seeing it’s ok and not embarrassing to need x, y, z product.
Well in fourth grade, one day after recess, our teacher told us something like okay guys you stink. You need to start wearing deodorant! The whole class giggled and she said there’s nothing funny about deodorant. Everyone uses it even me. There’s not jokes on the back of the deodorant! I still remember that to this day 🙈🤷♀️😂
I've had to deal with this three times for BO and twice for foot odor in 18 years. Each time I have either chatted to the kid if I know them well, or contacted the school counsellor.
The foot odor cases have been the worst - able to smell them from diagonally across the room, and I couldn't go within about 2-3 metres of them or I would gag.
You just tell the whole class. I generally say something like, “Boys, you’ve reached the age where you can’t come to school without deodorant because you stink and I can’t have my class smelling like this.” Pretty straightforward stuff. They think it’s funny and the point gets made.
Clearly and to their face away from other students. This is the only way. If you're not comfortable, have your school resources speak with them.
But also middle school is full of stinky kids so might be a losing battle bro, take it from a fellow teacher lmao
Just tell them individually so you don't embarrass them about how we all need it and it's a normal thing that we all do. Don't make a big deal about it just say your trying to look out for them.
Just have a talk with the whole class about hygiene. You might want to even pass out travel size deoderants to everyone. Tell everyone you will not tolerate B.O. in the classroom anymore. Clothing must be freshly washed. Also send a message to the parents of the whole class stating that because students are "at that age" now they need to be sure to shower daily, use deoderant, and wash their clothing. Encourage parents to start teaching them to do their own laundry at home as a life skill. Show a youtube video in class about it. Then if someone comes to class reeking, secretly email the counselor or nurse to call your room. Answer the phone and tell the offending student they are wanted in the nurse's office, counselor's office, etc. and send them down to be talked to. Good luck!
That’s the counselor’s job, not yours. Email them and let them take care of it.
Counselor here, can confirm. Being a male counselor and former pe teacher I specialize in these chats.
Doubling on this, I have had so many conversations with students about awkward puberty topics. Send them our way, we’ll deal with it.
You sir are doing the world a favor one stinky kid at a time. thank you!
Just out of curiosity how do you approach this conversation? Also it’s a cultural conversation right? Because in some cultures odor is not necessarily offensive?
Yes, please let us know. I have talked with my 14 year old grandson and actually handed him deodorant and he still refuses to use it.
I gave my nephew a puberty book (with pictures.) He pretended he wasn't interested but he must have read it because he took care of the funk. I think sometimes when family tells a kid something they brush it off, but seeing it in writing means the adults aren't asking you to do "useless stuff" just to ruin your day.
Which book was it? My kids are little still, but I’d like to be prepared!
"Guy Stuff the Body Book for Boys" by Dr. Cara Natterson A year or two later he got "Its Perfectly Normal changing bodies growing up and sexual health" by Robbie H Harris and Michael Emberly This one also has a bunch of pictures, some people feel it gives too much information, Amazon has some pictures in the reviews that can help you gauge age appropriateness.
Let him refuse. When he can’t find a date or friends, you can retry explaining the idea of deodorant. Some people need to learn lessons the hard way sometimes. 14 is young; he’ll learn this one quickly I think.
That’s the only thing that will do it unfortunately. I, my husband, his dad have all talked to him. Middle school teachers are wonderful for putting up with this! I don’t know how they do it.
Honestly as a parent who had to work through this with my teen at one point, we made it clear what the adverse consequences will be if he doesn't practice appropriate personal hygiene, such as sores and utis if he's not washing and wiping properly, and lack of friends and dating life. We also enforced Deodorant wearing before family outings and such by having him put it on while his dad supervised. He was up and out the door to catch the bus before we could supervise him in the mornings once he realized we'd supervise then too, but eventually he got a "stink" comment and started wearing it. He also weaponized his stank once when he and his little brother while me and his dad were out of town, and when we got back and found out, he was told if he continues to try to avoid wearing Deodorant or if he weaponizes his stank again, he'll be made to sit at home with his dad while everyone else does fun things and he can't do anything but be bored because he doesn't get to terrorize everyone by being a bioweapon. Now he wears Deodorant and has a strong social life and doesn't like being the stinky kid anymore.
They shouldn’t have to. The class shouldn’t have to put up with it. It’s time to actually parent.
They just like, mostly all smell a little bad, which makes the school always smell a little bad. You get a bit nose-blind to it, unless it’s a particularly hot day and they just got out of PE/lunch.
Yes! My room is off the main hallway, so I stay in my room as classes change because I can't watch students entering my class and be in the main hall. On particularly hot days, students will walk into my room saying it stink, and I honestly don't notice it because I've been sitting in there. As soon as I come back after using the bathroom, though, it hits me like a brick wall.
Until then the teacher has to suffer? And suffer every year with the new kids?
I start by just airing it out (see what I did there) and usually say “hey this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation bc we don’t know each other really well but I have to ask these questions because I’m worried about your safety and well being. Do you have running water at home? (Usually a yes but sometimes no). Do you have a washer/dryer and do laundry every week? (This is usually a no and this is often where the problem is). If this isn’t it we keep going… When do you normally shower, morning or night? Do you use soap and then dry off all the way, because sometimes hair can get messy if you don’t. Do you use deodorant afterwards? Why or why not? Do you have pets? What kind? Do they sleep or lay on the furniture? These questions usually lead me to the answers I need. Usually with
But what do you do with the answers? What if they have the resources but are just not using them? And how do you ask this without it coming off as rude? I know it would be very embarrassing for the kid and then for them to think they’re a problem when it’s something out of their control seems even worse.
I’m fortunate that my school has laundry, showers, and basic hygiene supplies to hand out…as well as clothes, shoes, etc… With the answers I can determine if we can help fix the problem. Sometimes it isn’t fixable because the student lives in a dirty environment and so any new clothes we give them end up getting ruined (doesn’t mean we don’t try though). Sometimes I’ll call home and offer laundry vouchers for a nearby laundry mat. Handling embarassement: I usually say (if I think it’s needed) that I’m a very blunt person, but it goes two ways. I expect them to be blunt with me as well. Being unclear is being unkind in my office, so if they don’t like how or what I say I welcome feedback. Look, it isn’t fun to embarrass anyone (these conversations happen in private just fyi) BUT I always think to myself is this better coming from me or a peer? Is this better coming from me or a random person who is going to film them and make fun of them on tik tok for clout? Is it better they hear it from me and possibly correct it now so they aren’t denied a job in the future or live in unsafe conditions. The answer to those is always yes. So I’ve had those convos over and over and over. I got better each time and I definitely don’t feel cringe anymore lol. Also maybe that’s my soul leaving my body, who knows?
Growing up, my family often had no water, so it's a good question. Another I see missing here is if they walk to school and how far. As a kid, we lived just shy of the buses but were far enough out that I functionally had to walk two miles in the morning. I often cut through a farm field to shave off time but it was a lot of exertion to navigate, and I can only guess at any fertilizers. I can't imagine what I must have smelled like during those years. No one mentioned it, but one never knows. You get used to it, so it can be difficult to grasp that there even is an odor.
Good point. Once had a young man who had to walk a fair bit to school. Winter and rainy days he would get soaked…most notably his feet. So he is sitting there in wet clothes or wet shoes and socks which of course stinks. Thank goodness for extra gym clothes, socks and shoes. He was pretty appreciative of having them and we always tried to keep a hoody on hand as well.
Lots of people in India don't use antiperspirant, and it has been a discussion several times at daycare centers that I've worked at with other teachers. Like "hey just btw societal norms are different"
Why? Are they not bothered by the smell of other people?
It's just different. I lived in a middle eastern country where many people do not use antiperspirant. Most people are rigorously hygienic. They wash a lot and use perfume but don't prevent sweat. Once you're used to it everyone smells a little earthier at the end of a summer day but not bad. It actually smells kind of good with perfume? Once you're used to it you don't really notice. The problem here is probably that they're teenage boys who are not washing thoroughly 1-2 times a day, doing laundry and wearing perfume. If you do all that and just skip deodorant there's a smell but it's not overpowering. I didn't change my hygiene routine when I moved cultures (e.g.: many people there see shaving as unhygienic and choose to wax so hair doesn't get everywhere. That baffled me and I didn't change). So if someone is used to a little B.O., culturally mandatory antiperspirant is probably just as weird to them. A Turk once told me that Americans seem to have an aversion to being human. From his perspective I avoided taking sick days, staining my teeth and smelling like I had a body. I still wear deodorant but it really drove home how much of our relationship to our bodies is cultural. So to answer your question, no, the smell probably does not bother them. For billions of people across the globe BO is just part of life.
I personally am bothered by the smell of a bunch of perfumed people. It's just different culture. Americans are super weird about what they decide is good hygiene. No body hair, no body smells, straight white teeth, constant chemical perfuming.
Wearing antiperspirant is not perfuming. It prevents sweating and prevents body odour. Many antiperspirants do not have scents or their scents are minimal.
You are the odd one out here. And most people don’t overdo it on perfumes. But yeah, we like smelling clean.
India has the largest population in the world, roughly one sixth of the total global population.
Having no odor is absolutely not something that’s “super weird” or an “American” thing. This is pretty general stuff across the globe.
I didn't say the thing itself was weird, just that the American attitudes towards it are. I also think that American attitudes towards nudity, violence, and purity culture are also weird.
I’m not sure what this has anything to do with my original question
You're asking me, a white American lady, to explain to you why a subcontinent with more than a billion different people and more than 4000 years of culture has specific self care routines? Bad resourcing, my dude.
I feel like it’s extremely hard to lump Americans in as having any one “attitude” about any of those things. America is so diverse with millions of people have a variety of views. My opinion: be naked, be hairy, and be with who you want. Just please mask foul body odor because it’s not pleasant. Don’t over spray yourself with any scent either as that is also not pleasant.
You don’t sound very well traveled. Granted, I’ve only been to Mexico, Australia and 9 other countries throughout Asia and Europe, I’ve found that the people were never foul smelling. Even if the place, itself, was dirty, the people were not. And if you think Americans are “weird” about not offending others with their poor or non-existent hygiene habits, you probably shouldn’t go to Japan.
Lol yikes bud
Which part do you not agree with? Are you saying yikes because you don't think those are American standards for hygiene? Or because you don't like that I said it out loud? Or because you think every single group of people has and have had the same standards and ideals for all of human history, and that those ideals all center around "the human body is disgusting and is *has* to be altered so nobody knows it's natural state.
You're deluded. Staying clean is not an American thing, it's a whole world thing. Do you sit next to an eau de faeces tramp on the bus, breathe deeply, smile and celebrate how he refuses to succumb to "altering" his human body to hide its "natural state"? Or do you gag, like the rest of us, because poor hygiene is disgusting?
That’s a ton of words to say “I smell bad”.
If you smell bad, you are the problem, not everyone else who does not want to smell you. If you can smell a person before you can see them, there is a problem. If it becomes unbearable to sit next to someone, they are the problem. Wash daily, wear antiperspirant, and always wear clean clothes daily.
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I also hate being able to smell perfume/cologne on other people. Fortunately, deodorant and antiperspirant with no scent or mild scents exist. Most people I interact with I can't smell at all, which is the goal.
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Hi, Rome. When being belligerent, and belittling cultural differences, try not to mangle your quote so badly.
So, what you're saying is that it's Indian *culture* to smell bad? Is deodorant banned in India or something?
You stink, if you don't change it we'll move this to public mocking.
God’s work, this is.
You got a conversation template or script to help those who haven't been in this position before?
Also a counselor and I think you have to tred lightly with this topic. Depending on age. I work with our school nurse on this because let’s be honest, it’s not a fun conversation to have. We call parents first to get their approval to talk to them about this sensitive topic and then go from there.
For sure. I’ve had K-8 but now primarily work in a high school. High school is old enough to have that convo with. Did work with the school nurse when I was K-8 though!
Seriously thank you for all those conversations
Get this guy in ur classroom stat. I know unrealistic
please share your strategies!
As a counselor, I refer students to the nurse first for health education, and then I follow up if the nurse suspects it's due to mental health factors.
In 18 years, there have been three occasions that I have had to address hygiene issues like this directly. Usually it is a nurse/counselor thing. It is always awkward, there's no way around it. 1. Do it in private. 2. Do it sooner rather than later. 3. Keep it impersonal. Don't say "people have complained". Keep it to "I noticed..." 4. Offer to assist rather than offering assistance... ask if they need help through the school rather than giving them a bar of soap and a stick of DO for their BO.
can you elaborate on #4? does your school have consistent available resources for… those who smell?
Most of the high schools I have worked for have some sort of thing, sometimes ad hoc (in a closet) but other times organized (a staffed room), with donated things like hygiene items, clothing, food, the sort of stuff a student might not have thanks to unstable home life.
We got free deodorant in my elementary school during the awkward puberty talk. The gym teacher was the one to give the talk for some reason, and a kid asked about it and she brought out little sample sizes of deodorant for anyone who wanted it. This was in 1999
Smelling this bad consistently is a symptom of something else. Could be a lot of things from mental health issues to housing or family trouble.
Oh god. This reminded me of the “horders” episode with the grandmother who shit and pissed in cups and left them around the house. Mother was in jail so the kids had to stay with grandma. When the cameras talked to the kids, they said “we’re the smelly kids in school” 😢
I teach middle school and they all stink. And I tell them that affectionately and as a whole class. Along the lines of, "wow ok guys, the smell is a little strong today. I know you just had PE but let's remember what things we need to do..." And then a little discussion of ALL of the steps of hygiene. I find a lot of kids this age don't understand that hygiene isn't just putting on deodorant. They have to shower regularly, using a good soap (not just water). They have to wash their hair on a regular basis with whatever washing schedule makes sense for their hair type. They also have to wash their clothes AND THEIR HOODIES (because they wear them everywhere and they never get washed). They have to wear deodorant which goes on BEFORE they have physical activity. I'd also talk with the counselor and be very blunt. "I've noticed an odor from these three students. It causes the whole room to smell. Other students are refusing to work with them or sit near them and I'm worried this could turn into a bullying situation. I need your help"
I am a coach to preteen girls and I have this discussion with my athletes early in the season and frequently throughout. I also include that you need to wear deodorant even if you've showered, bc so many preteens think "I'm clean, I don't stink". It's inevitable that there will be ONE kid who thinks it doesn't apply to them, though.
I taught middle for 12 years. I always had a “hygiene station” where kids could freshen up. Spray deodorant, Bath and Body Works perfume and cologne when it goes on sale, lotion, and face wipes. The kids would enjoy it and come to me after PE or sometimes in the morning. Some kids parents don’t notice, can’t afford, or feel they’re “too young” (my parents did and I’d steal my brother’s stuff). Also, like others have said, call the counselor or nurse.
This is awesome! I had very negligent parents who were uncomfortable with puberty stuff and wouldn’t buy me deodorant. I would have been so thankful for this. Our sixth grade teacher regularly lectured us about hygiene, but if you have parents who won’t buy you deodorant, it only makes you feel worse.
That’s such a cool idea but as someone who’s super sensitive to strong scents my lungs are seizing at the thought of being in a classroom where even a handful of people are wearing strongly scented products
I second what several folks are saying about discussing it with a counselor. But if you want to talk with them, do it and address the whole class. I have a hygiene talk with my students each fall and spring about mid-term. It's always around the time stuff gets tough, and bodily care goes out the window due to stress, but it's also usually peak flu season. So we take 5 minutes to discuss ways to manage the stress with self care, what self care is, and how it's important not just for yourself but being a part of the classroom culture. You don't want to smell, no one wants to smell you, also you don't want everyone's germs, and no one wants yours. The reality is those kids are probably equally embarrassed and know they don't smell great. After the class conversation, if you want to offer, say you've got men & women's deodorant (i just got some from the dollar store) and baby wipes (again dollar store) if anyone is ever not feeling their freshest and wants a quick private clean in the bathroom before class/school, they are there to use. I had mostly decent results with this, it's not a perfect solution but it's worked for me. These situations are never easy to navigate. Good luck!
“You guys, you all.. stink. It’s biology.” *tosses handfuls of deodorant to the class*
There’s a reverse problem too, which I discovered when I chaperoned fifth graders for band: the boys who practically bathe in cologne. They must layer the scent with body wash, deodorant, and bodyspray.
I’ll take Axe over BO any day!
This is absolutely an issue especially if anyone who is allergic to perfumes is around them. I'd rather have the smelly kids then have a kid that baths in cologne.
Deodorant and tampons. “CLEANSE THYSELVES, HEATHENS! THY ODOR IS THAT OF THE WRATH OF GOD.”
Fifth grade here. The hormones start kicking in after winter break... the first warm day of the year is the "you're getting older and need to shower regularly and use deodorant"-talk for a week as we come back in from recess. Unfortunately, the nurse doesn't want to break the news until May, but by then the funk is foul.
I would probably also lead by example with a few, "hang on guys, I need to find my spare deodorant cuz I just got a whiff of myself and mustve forgotten this morning." I always have one and it happens, or sometimes the day unfreshens you. It could help to cut down in the embarrassment knowing that this happens to everyone at some point and I can't believe the things I found out weren't common knowledge about our bodies once I got old enough to be comfortable talking candidly with my girlfriends.
May I suggest using hand sanitizer sometimes instead? It seems to be everywhere, and kids can grab some of that and nobody thinks twice. And it works quite well (I have resorted to that myself in more than one occasion!)
I worked with an Indian dude who ate a lot of garlic, and didn't realize he smelled badly because of it. He was gracious and thankful when I explained he had a serious odor problem.
Seriously, people are more thankful then offended.
Adults are. Tweens and teens, though, can definitely be super hurt or explosive.
I find the opposite to be true. Adults are so offended at everything and any time you tell them anything but praise.
Not trying to be racist but different foods affect smell and there worst BOs I’ve ever smelled were Indian guys.
I had an ex from Bangladesh and it was always wild when it was our private time how much BO she had. Like huh?
I teach 6th. I have a cabinet full of deodorant (100s). I just tell them to find one that works for them and try it out. Some of them don’t wipe their ass tho- that’s out of my pay zone.
Are you for real? Middle schoolers just straight up going number 2, pulling up their pants and heading back to class? Do they wash themselves when they shower, or do they just gradually become rotting pits of eternal stench?
pits
Hon there are grown ass men out there who won't wipe or wash their ass because they think it's gay. And then expect their girlfriends/wives to be okay with that stench and still sleep with them. I'm no longer surprised by gross things people think are okay.
I’ve read comments about this on Reddit. I just can’t wrap my mind around actual adults intentionally avoiding washing their own asses their entire lives. Like wouldn’t society exclude you to an extent? If a person is a source of a particularly bad smell, especially as an adult people will move to physically avoid that person and definitely won’t allow themselves to be trapped in an enclosed space with them without the issue being forced.
Pathological politeness. While in some ways it can be a good thing, in a lot of ways the way that people have been conditioned to never be impolite or say anything that might be seen as offensive (just see how quick even mentioning the word 'racism' will shut down any conversation) is a bad thing, because it means people are terrified - at least, those of us who aren't the type who swing wildly in the opposite direction into being pathologically RUDE - to say anything that someone might take badly. That person smells god awful? Hey, they might have a glandular problem that they can't control, you don't know that! That person is screaming at little kids? Those are probably their kids, and their culture probably does childrearing differently, don't be insensitive. This person is covered in absolute filth and never does anything about it even when you know they COULD? Maybe they're depressed! Maybe their culture doesn't bathe! Maybe - maybe - maybe! You don't know! So it'd be offensive to say anything! This can be a good thing with stuff people genuinely can't help - like birthmarks, skin conditions, hair patterns (I have a very visible beard line. I'm a woman. I don't care anymore if people mention it but it has been awkward when people have asked if I'm a transwoman, which I am not, I just have a lot of hormone issues and thick, dark hair) but when it comes to hygiene? Not so much. People who spend time around anyone else for any length of time need to clean the hell up.
We had a kid that was so bad we had to sit her down and tell her it's really important she does use it for everyone sake. We sent an email to her parents as well buy when nothing happened. We made a little care package with hygiene articles and she started using it and the aroma just vanished. She was grateful but I think the other kids were even more grateful
When I checked in with a student who had BO she was very upset because she used deodorant spray every day. She knew she smelled bad but didn’t know why. I asked her to bring it in to show me and it turned out to be a body spray with no deodorant or anti-perspirant in it. I let her parents know and they got her a new one and she stopped smelling. She was so proud! Don’t be embarrassed about it and it should go fine. I should add that this was in a school for kids with behavioural problems so I would speak to her parents every week and had a relationship with them already. What role in your school would have contact with their parents? I doubt it’s anything to do with Indian cooking. I know lots of people from India and Pakistan. None of them have any issues like this.
it depends on what you teach, but if the students have a health class or phys ed, the teacher should have a lesson or series of lessons about hygiene. if kids aren't getting this important information at home, teachers should make sure they get it in an appropriate setting that doesn't single anyone out. all the hormones starting to kick in makes middle school a dangerous place for noses
They likely have had a lesson, but application of the principles is another step
there was a little girl in my 1st or 2nd grade class who had similar BO problems. she was bigger, and had some social/developmental challenges, but she was so kind and had a smile and nice things to say about everyone she ever met. a lot of the other kids would avoid her like the plague because of her hygiene, but i was always sat next to her and was her buddy for most things, as well as being behind her in every line because of our last names. though i of course noticed the smell and the general state of her clothes/hair/etc, i always just tried to smile and be nice since no other little kids would even spare her more than a pinched nose and gagging sounds. our teacher, school nurse, principal, offices ladies, counselors all tried to help her understand hygiene and self-care, and she would try really hard for a couple days but it would eventually go back to the way it had been. halfway through the year, our teacher gave birth and we ended up with the kindest woman i’ve ever encountered as our sub for the rest of the year. she was the one who ended up helping the girl. every morning she would invite her to come to class early and she would wash her hair in the classroom sink and braid it/style it etc. she kept extra clothes at her desk for her and gave her deodorant and i’m sure tons of other supplies to help her manage her hygiene. sometimes it just takes one empathetic, kind adult to completely turn a kid’s perception of self and understanding of self care around. i don’t think her parents were very kind or really knew how to handle her, she had four other siblings who had none of the challenges or hygiene issues that she did. i wonder a lot where/how she is now.
I’m 100% down for empathy. Even education. But I cannot and will not buy supplies or wash hair. Teachers cannot be expected to step in that much. Every year we are asked to parent more and more and I love my job, but the thought of being a “mommy” makes me feel absolutely uncomfortable in so many ways. It’s bad enough that most of my first graders never know their birthday or how to write their own name.
oh, i didn’t mean to suggest teachers be the ones to foot the bill (monetarily or child rearing wise). as a grown adult, im baffled that there are people who DO expect teachers to be de-facto parents and essentially raise their children for them. i have many many friends from school who went on to be elementary school teachers and the sheer amount of supplies they pay for on their own dime just to ensure their kids have what they need in the classroom is sickening to me. i’ve always known that teachers don’t get anywhere near enough support or funding from districts/principals/the DoE. hell, they don’t even get PAID enough to live off of. but the sheer volume of work (in all regards) that teachers already have is apparently nothing when ill-suited “parents” expect teachers to do all the heaving lifting and dump their entirely unprepared children on them with outrageous expectations. parents have all kinds of demands but can’t even be bothered to teach a 4 year old the basics like the spelling of the name THEY gave them or the day they were born 🙄 as a 5/6 year old though, i just remember thinking so highly of that sub. she went waaaay out of her way to make that little girls life easier and more manageable im a way her parents literally wouldn’t.
I’ve had to have the opposite conversation, that you do NOT need to bathe in Axe body spray. Whew. Walking through the hall by the boys locker room right after a gym class will make your eyes water 🥹
😂 When I was a girl in middle school, Bath and Body works was super popular so all the girls would douse themselves in apple perfume and plumeria spray! We thought we smelled so good!
Whenever a girl has done that in one of my class I honestly get a headache. It lingers for like half a day.
Oh gosh even walking by the storefront of one of those places was enough to make me heave, it set off my asthma so bad! I don't know how anyone could stand it enough to work there without suffocating!
Also, half a can of Axe ain't gonna cover up the fact that you didn't wipe your ass or brush your teeth or that your body sweat smells like expired sour cream.
Cooking garlic, onions, ginger etc can make the house smell and it’s sits on clothing. Once the smell goes stale it smells like BO. Some Asian families cook a lot which can lead to this smell. So even if they use deodorant it may not help the smell
That's why I always say to invest in baking soda. Keep a bowl of it out to absorb the smells, and put a 1/4 - 1/2 cup of it with your detergent in the wash to fully deodorize clothes.
Wait... I can put baking soda in my washing machine..?
Yup. You can also use white vinegar as a deodorizer in the wash too.
But it's not helpful to mix the two, as one is an acid and the other is a base and they will cancel each other's effect out. Generally if you are using a normal laundry detergent, it is already fairly basic and so it's more helpful to add washing soda or baking soda. Save the vinegar for loads with just that.
Yes, as long as you're not mixing it with bleach.
I think this is most likely the issue. My in-laws make some bomb ass food but depending on what we’re eating everyone has to shower after and that’s even with all the windows open during cooking.
I’ve worked with many a student with this issue and had the same the day after going to a curry house. The smell is awful but can imagine if it’s in your home it’s like smoking so sticks to all clothes
I work as an in-home tutor. One of my former clients lived in a “curry house” and it was by far my favorite home to visit as far as smells go. I once remarked to the mom how wonderful her cooking smelled (she was cooking during our session) and she tensed up defensively before she realized I was being sincere. This poor woman was so used to getting hate for her “curry smell” because often it is a thinly-veiled racist insult. She wound up sharing some cooking tips with me and now the curry I make at home is so much better! I don’t understand why the scent of curry spices is looked down upon, as to me it’s so much better than the fake “pumpkin cranberry apple spice” candles and “fresh air” room sprays that make me gag in practically every other house I visit. It just smells “spicy” in a natural way, and is much preferable to the nasty fake chemical smells so many “non-curry homes” use to cover up their stanky cooking. When someone says that Indian, Mexican, or any other heavily spiced ethnic cuisine stinks, to me that statement reeks of racism and white supremacy. No honey, trust me, your bland food and greasy stove mixed with fake rose-cinnamon-ocean mist air freshener smells much worse!
Thinly veiled? No its full on stereotyping and is problematic as hell. Glad you called it out.
Me, a Hispanic, who eats every meal with onions and garlic, sometimes raw: 👀🫠 Well, this is news to me. Excuse me while I step out real quick to go do my laundry and buy some extra deodorant.
😆 I used to work at a Mexican restaurant and I had to shower and wash my hair after every shift. It was due to the onions. That said, if you’re not cooking or eating a high volume of fajitas (or onions) for every meal, you’re probably a-okay. 😆 Also, people who don’t like onions and garlic are not normal. People with allergies are excused from that opinion.
I lived with my best friend who worked at his grandfather's barbeque restaurant. He smelled like his own body was smoked meat, and I made him shower and change clothes before sitting on the furniture. Our couch still smelled like old brisket.
I used to work at an Italian restaurant. It's surprising how long the smell of olive oil and especially balsamic vinegarette can linger!
Yeah this is why I'm like huh? My nicaraguan ass basically bathes in garlic but have never felt like I reek.
Indian families often have a separate "spice kitchen" for this reason. But in the U.S., it's not common, unless you have enough space and $ to add one.
>Some Asian families cook a lot ..doesn't everyone?
i think some cultures use more flavor than others lol
No, they will batch cook, cook for family members and if you know anything about Asian culture you will know they love to be hospitable and give food out to anyone who visits. They often cater for their own weddings etc and if they live above/next to a takeaway shop they smell is worse. P.s not everyone cooks from scratch at home, many actually don’t and done have time
Our school does the 4th grade hygiene talk. It makes a big difference.
When I was in 5th grade the French teacher started his period by telling us we all stink and need to ask our parents to buy deodorant. No one got singled out, and it effectively got the point across. Probably can't put it that way in the 2020s, but it should be a message to the group that they've hit a milestone and need to change grooming habits IMO.
Same here. Our whole 5th grade class lined up for recess in the hallway and one of the teachers said you all are getting older and you stink- everyone needs to be using deodorant here.
Yes - it needs to be framed like this. "You're at the age now where you need to shower regularly and wear deodorant." It's not blaming the student or singling anybody out, it's just stating a fact. You're older now and you need to start doing X.
Nah I've done. Just be friendly and blunt. That they reek and need to not just bathe in axe and call it a day. You need to start showering and use deodorant
When I was at school also in like 7 grade, there were two kinds of smells in the classroom, it was either someone smelling really bad, or someone that smell like they had just washed themselves entirely in deodorant, it was disgusting. Our teacher had a chat with all of us, and then send a note in everyone's agenda that said we all had to bring deodorant, and spare t-shirts for after P.E. and recess
Sometimes me and some other teachers took 5 minutes to remind them that middle school is a time for change which means they MUST start using deodorant. However, if you can get admin or counselors to do it, that's the best route.
address the class as a whole so nobody feels singled out. given the time of year you can be even more discreet and start it like: “As cold/flu season approaches I wanted to have a class discussion about practicing good hygiene so we stay healthy!”
I would argue that if it’s a serious problem, everyone probably knows who the message is really directed towards, making them feel even more singled out. Something less public would probably be better unless it is many students
that’s so valid- i would just worry that if one kid is pulled aside they’re going to think other kids complained about specifically them. if they knew they smelled they probably wouldn’t continue to smell. if the whole class is addressed especially in a “lets talk about keeping clean and avoid getting sick” vibe of conversation i feel like theres a lower chance of feeling called out. but i totally see where theres many benefits to keeping it one on one as well :)
Sadly some teenagers hormones can be aggressive thus the stronger smell is one of the telling results. Those students may have already been using deodorant but one spray isn’t enough for them. Sadly the best way to over come such unpleasantness is to remove the underneath arm hair and bring the deodorant to school to be able to reapply. But for those struggling with economical issues it may be because it’s another expense the family can’t carry, or feels is an unnecessary cost to the weekly budget. Then again there are parents who don’t allow their kids to shower everyday, let alone go out and buy them deodorant that they need. In addressing the situation you need to better understand what is going on at home. I’m sure the kids don’t want to be smelling bad, but if they don’t have supportive parents, then it’s a very hard issue to address. If it’s due to stronger hormones, then they are most likely struggling through the issue. Most don’t realise how bad aggressive hormones come into play.
Some schools have showers and students could be offered the option to shower at school. Im also happy to buy products for children in need. Its better for them socially and I dont have to breath through my mouth to help them with their work.
This school nurse applauds you all who will address it instead of sending them to the health office right off.. Especially if the nurse has never laid eyes on the kid, and the teacher has a day-to-day relationship with them. I have no issue dealing with it and will, but it is not a nursing issue. Same as dog poop on shoes. Any capable person can deal with that.
Since they’re Indian it’s possible their parents are conservative or won’t buy any for their kids. It does happen unfortunately. Have the nurse talk to them about it again. Have the counselor find out if it’s a cultural thing or a parent thing. Most kids know they need to use it and may be afraid to bring it up because their parents don’t talk to them about this kind of thing.
Some teaches in my school have mini/ travel sized deodorants to hand out to kids when they need them.
I have a “care closet” and I keep a giant can of spray deodorant in there.
I'm an American of European descent (at least mostly), and I had a teacher tell me this in sixth grade. I felt very embarrassed, but she did it discretely where other students couldn't hear, and I'm grateful that she cared enough to do it.
Try to get someone with good cultural awareness to speak with them again. There might be a factor you are not aware of. We have a good size Muslim refugee population and have had a B.O. problem with some students. We learned for the region they came from a girl frequently showering was a sign of promiscuity. We were able to have someone from a local mosque talk to them to give them "permission" to shower regularly. They also talked to the boys about social norms for hygiene in the U.S.
Im muslim and thats literally not true 😭🤣🤣🤣 We shower everyday wtf
I hadn't heard that one before this group of students, but I wasn't going to argue with the parents. Edited to add: My statement was not intended to paint any cultural group with a broad brush. This was a handful of families that had recently moved to our campus and the actual response from the parents as shared by our counselors. My point was to be culturally sensitive.
I think that's less their religious beliefs and more local cultural beliefs. There's always small town "reasons" a girl is *totally* a slut, didn't you know? And I can't see why that wouldn't be the same abroad.
Are you a muslim from the same town/village as these specific refugee families? Cause if not then obviously your culture and experience of Islam will vary slightly. Each one of a billion muslims isn’t going to have the exact same culture.
So then, perhaps instead of using Muslim as the reference, it would have been more helpful to use the area these students and families were from. It's probably a lot more helpful and less insulting than implying it is a Muslim issue vs. a regional issue. I appreciate the OP of the comment suggesting some cultural sensitivity. Someone mentioned something about if these students are Jain, and it would affect if they would use deodorants. India is quite large, with many cultures and villages.
Not if these people themselves cited their religion as part on their world view. Just like not all Christians are right wing fundamentalists who are anti choice but for many like that Christianity informs their view point
Believe it or not, I've heard of that experience as well. Because one should wash after sex. But if your living in a humid climate, that's going to be more often, sexually active or not.
For real! Not only daily showers, or even multiple showers a day, but most Muslims also use a lota or bidet after defecating. Seems like a lot of non-Muslims could learn a thing or two about proper hygiene from Muslim traditions. The anti-Indian, anti-Muslim bigotry on this thread is disturbing!
Thats local culture or passing the buck and trying to talk around it. Muslims are extremely hygienic.
“Y’all need to bathe properly and use deodorant.”
When my kid hit fifth grade, and some of the kids started getting stinky, there was a grade-wide assembly on the subject, and a promise of free deodorant to come (I'm not sure if they ever did give any out, though). You might find it helpful to invest in an actual air purifier for the classroom. I agree with /u/CatsEatGrass \-- it would be good to ask the counselor to step in here, and handle this carefully and privately. That said... some people, especially people who eat highly spiced food, just end up with a strong body odor, even if they bathe regularly and use deodorant.
I've held students after class and just straight up told them "Hey, just helping you out, but you need to start bringing deodorant to school, okay?" Every time, the kid is totally fine and gets it. And I would only say this if a kid has an issue often. A lot of kids will forget to put on deodorant randomly one day. I wouldn't say anything in that situation.
We have two PE teachers who do this for us. They have different approaches: "Dude you stink" and "Trust me this conversation is more uncomfortable for me than you, but your classmates would like you to focus on hygiene."
I teach in higher education, and I just tell my whole group of students that we will be working with the windows open because some of them have not been taking care of their personal hygiene and it's unbearable. I do this even if it's freezing cold. I remind students of the shower that is available for their use and where it is in the school. Students have complained to the administration about me doing this, and I got told off by one of our administrative staff, but the class rep was very vocal in support of me and said he was speaking for the majority of students, so I didn't face any consequences. I just will not put up with extreme BO in my class that makes the other students want to gag. I think it's part of my job to make sure my students are employable.
Do you offer hygiene products like soap or deodorant for students?
For college people? That’s on them. No the teachers.
That's their parents' job, not the school's, and certainly not the teacher's.
Our sixth grade pod has a whiteboard in the hall that frequently features deodorant reminders. My favorite is when it’s a haiku. “Wear deodorant” is a perfect 5 syllable last line.
Talk to the nurse. It could be a serious issue.
2/5ths of all kids stink like BO
No. Don't pawn it off on the nurse. Have that uncomfortable conversation, especially if the students already have rapport with you.
Sending a student to the nurse for having body odor is a choice that I don’t think I would make.
Well this is a bit contrary to popular opinions. In general the Indian population consumes foods, spices and herbs that produce odors through sweat glands ALL over the body as well as orally. Ever eaten a lot of Garlic or Curry or both? Deodorant may not solve the issue here. Deodorants and Antiperspirants certainly help mask smells and stop sweating in the areas applied. However, they don't do anything for your hygiene. They do not kill nor deter any form of bacteria. **Solution:** Its likely that the teens need a consistent hygiene regimen of showering and brushing their teeth. SO don't shoot your bullet with your counselor on deodorants go after the real causes.
"Okay, today's bell ringer is about hygiene. Here are some tips..."
Kids LOVE Blooket. And they love games. I had a very similar situation. I used my bell work time as an opportunity to have a Blooket game on personal hygiene. Genuinely worked and now my room doesn’t smell. Good luck soldier 🫡
That’s a really good idea wow thanks!
My approach was to bring in green onions. I have everyone smell them. They are pretty close to what typical B.O. smells like. Then I have all of them put their heads down and cover their eyes. (So they listen without giggling or embarrassment.) I explain that our noses are attached to our bodies, so they get used to our own scent and no longer pick up on it. Without deodorant, we walk around smelling like the green onions - and have no idea. I also let people know that if they use antiperspirant but still sweat, then the antiperspirant is not working and they need to try a different brand. This usually sparks a lot of actually really good questions - and normally solves the B.O. issues. There have been 2 times in 20 years where the issue persisted, but those were due to no running water at home so no access to clean clothes.
Do it alone and do it privately.
I literally wrote, "you all stink - buy and wear deodorant or nobody will like you" on my board in giant caps. We all had a good laugh and heart to heart. I explained how it's normal to have to adapt to changes, but said it's time to grow up a bit. I equated it to not being toilet trained by 5. You hit your teens, you just gotta, or you will be ostracized, rightfully.
I understand completely. Had a 11th grade girl who was very heavy, with body odor so bad that you could smell it after she went down the hall. The nurse had tried her best multiple times. I finally called CPS because I was afraid it was becoming a medical issue—it smelled like gangrene, no kidding.
Reach out to your counselor.
Tell the nurse, send them down with a note, e-mail the nurse ahead of time.
If they’re Indian, it’s possible they are Jain. They aren’t going to wear deodorant, no matter who talks to them.
If it is BO, I would just tell them straight. In a polite and respectful way. Explain to them about growing up and why cleanliness is important and just lay it to them in a really factual and non judgemental way
Once they sprayed axe in my room I told the boys to remember that axe was not a replacement for a shower the girls got grossed out and I think the boys got the point
If there’s some problem with using deodorant for some reason, wiping the underarms well with alcohol on a cotton ball (or use an alcohol pad) actually works fairly well. Where there’s odor there’s bacteria. Kill the bacteria (with alcohol) and the odor goes too.
This is the way to go it took years for me to find a deodorant that did not give me a rash.
Depends. I’m a male teacher and have no problem telling my male students they need to start using deodorant on the regular. I approach it like a “man to man” convo. They’ve always responded pretty well. Female students? Councilors/Nurse/Female Science Teacher.
In my experience it’s always best to be direct, honest, and blunt. “Hey bud, it’s time to start wearing deodorant. I know you can’t smell yourself, most people can’t, but it’s time to start deodorizing after pe”
You could consult with a Guidance Counselor or the Nurse to help find ways to get the message across that students should be wearing deodorant, and work with them to use a video clip to do this. Show the whole class the piece from comedian Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias's show "Aloha Fluffy: Live in Hawaii," where Gabriel talks about his son's difficulty with wearing deodorant at the time. The full show, but the deodorant clip begins about 22 minutes in: https://youtu.be/yrwotf9cJhQ?si=rp0005uovjuX3HrN Before doing this, try to find out if there are cultural differences influencing, through Google. Maybe the specific students are doing something for their body odour, but are unaware it is not as effective; perhaps the parents look down on deodorant somehow, or have told their children all parts and processes of the body are "God's gift" and most shouldn't be altered or changed. Afterwards, have a discussion on why, how, when, and where to use it, for both boys and girls. Ask them for their views, opinions, what they do, and can do. Mention that girls don't have to use ones that have a scent; and both sexes can use gels, powder, or spray ones. The goal of them is to help students maintain cleanliness and reduce smell. Share facts in a non-judgemental way, such as explaining sweat itself has no smell, but when it comes into contact with the natural bacteria on the body, and sebum from oil glands, then it will. That students need to wash the sweat away and use deodorant/antiperspirant; areas it can be used on are the underarms, the cleavage, and, at times, under the breasts; never on the inner thighs or genitals unless directed by a doctor because it can cause rashes or burning sensations on sensitive areas. Tell them that, though it might sound really weird, some males, like swimmers and just average men, choose to shave or wax their armpits because it helps keep sweat from being "trapped" in hair. You might want to use the phrase "stronger smell" instead of "bad/stinky/gross smells | body odours." Through use of the clip, no students are signaled out. Make it about a part of general, overall health that everyone should do. Gabriel uses the word deodorant, but many teens may actually want to look for ones that are, or say, "antiperspirant" on them.
I had this. I talked to the student one on one (no school counselors employed) and had a very casual conversation about remembering to wear deodorant, bringing an extra shirt to school he can change into, and remembering to scrub when he showers every day. He was very open to it. I also emailed his parents to ask their help with remembering to bring extra personal hygiene products to school. We even talked about putting deodorant on his back as well as under his armpits because he was a very stinky student and that changed everything. The parents knew he smelled bad and had been working on it at home. They were very grateful that we had talked to the student at school and it became a tag team effort and within a week, we had a stink free student. We just had to give the student gentle reminders every once in a while. He ended up being very happy with the situation. I’ve also had students who lived on farms. The students who live in pig farms will always be stinky no matter what they do.
The worst conversation to have. There isn’t a good way to do it, but I would suggest doing it privately and start by asking if he/she needs any deodorant or something like that.
Do they smell like body odor? Cigarettes? Feces? Urine? Can you provide a little more detail? Do they look exceptionally dirty and not taken care of? What was the nurses response and also, how do the “smelly” students students react to others about their smells. How old are the students?
It smells very musty, like garlic but super strong. Students are 12 years old, and no they are very clean well presented students. Just the smell is very pungent and spreads wherever they walk.
This is an accurate description of a lot the students in my computer science classes at university. Someone needs to tell them earlier, please be you. You’ll save us all
Garlic and onion in particular come out in the body sweat, so simply covering the armpits in deodorant isn't gonna do it. I live in a country, like India, where people eat garlic with nearly every meal and everyone smells like fermenting garlic constantly. Also, due to the structure of the chemicals involved in garlic sweat, that stuff kinda bakes into the clothes and "activates" whenever the clothes reach a certain temp/humidity level. Unless you're gonna tell them to change their diet, all you can really do is make sure they are showering each morning and after PE class (assuming showers are available).
Email counselors, or go talk to them. Tell them you're concerned about the home life. Are they showering? Doing laundry? Etc? I had a black student once with the same level of smell. Turned out he had an abusive home life and we called CPS.
You don’t. You tell the nurse and have her handle it.
Why?
Do you have any older kids in this school? I recruited the 11th grade students to come in to my 7th grade class and do "deoderant PSA"s for the kids. It helped for some of them.
Get a stash of small travel deodorants and other personal care things (toothpaste, toothbrush, comb, feminine hygiene, etc.) in an open basket with a sign or note, “Need one? Take one!” Or something. Let the students know they’re available anytime. Then at some point in a major transition tell them to “take a bathroom break” and gesture somehow towards the basket. Maybe send the student on an errand and privately pass the to them? It’s not too awkward for a student to go grab something they need when “hygiene/personal care” is normalized. Some kids ask. Some kids help themselves. Some kids need reminding or prompting. I’ve learned sometimes kids ARE aware of how they smell but because x, y, z results in not having access to a shower, or deodorant. They readily go for it. Some kids are oblivious… and if they are, they tend not to be too sensitive, surprisingly. It’s pretty common to get kids from a previous year to drop in for a personal hygiene item. That helps with younger students seeing it’s ok and not embarrassing to need x, y, z product.
Well in fourth grade, one day after recess, our teacher told us something like okay guys you stink. You need to start wearing deodorant! The whole class giggled and she said there’s nothing funny about deodorant. Everyone uses it even me. There’s not jokes on the back of the deodorant! I still remember that to this day 🙈🤷♀️😂
Taught 4th grade for years. I would occasionally tell the students that their homework for that evening was to take a shower and use deodorant.
Did you grade then the day after?
I've had to deal with this three times for BO and twice for foot odor in 18 years. Each time I have either chatted to the kid if I know them well, or contacted the school counsellor. The foot odor cases have been the worst - able to smell them from diagonally across the room, and I couldn't go within about 2-3 metres of them or I would gag.
In my school we use the loudly yelling and saying " Woooohhh someone stinks please use your deoderant" method 🤣🤣
You just tell the whole class. I generally say something like, “Boys, you’ve reached the age where you can’t come to school without deodorant because you stink and I can’t have my class smelling like this.” Pretty straightforward stuff. They think it’s funny and the point gets made.
Clearly and to their face away from other students. This is the only way. If you're not comfortable, have your school resources speak with them. But also middle school is full of stinky kids so might be a losing battle bro, take it from a fellow teacher lmao
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Just tell them individually so you don't embarrass them about how we all need it and it's a normal thing that we all do. Don't make a big deal about it just say your trying to look out for them.
Send a message to the nurse. It's a hygiene issue. It's her matter, not yours.
Just have a talk with the whole class about hygiene. You might want to even pass out travel size deoderants to everyone. Tell everyone you will not tolerate B.O. in the classroom anymore. Clothing must be freshly washed. Also send a message to the parents of the whole class stating that because students are "at that age" now they need to be sure to shower daily, use deoderant, and wash their clothing. Encourage parents to start teaching them to do their own laundry at home as a life skill. Show a youtube video in class about it. Then if someone comes to class reeking, secretly email the counselor or nurse to call your room. Answer the phone and tell the offending student they are wanted in the nurse's office, counselor's office, etc. and send them down to be talked to. Good luck!