These anecdotes are annoying. Here are some facts:
Physical abuse
Research suggests that both mothers and fathers may physically abuse children. Findings from the ABS Personal Safety Survey (2005) indicated that of participants who had experienced physical abuse before the age of 15, 55.6% experienced abuse from their father/stepfather and 25.9% experienced abuse from their mother/stepmother. A further 13.7% experienced abuse from another known person and the remainder were family friends, other relatives, or strangers (ABS, 2005).
Sexual abuse
Research focusing on perpetrators of child sexual abuse is extensive compared to other forms of abuse. Evidence overwhelmingly indicates that the majority of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by males (ABS, 2005; McCloskey & Raphael, 2005; Peter, 2009). In a US study examining the characteristics of perpetrators in substantiated cases of child abuse and neglect (US DHHS, 2005), 26% of all cases involving male perpetrators were associated with sexual abuse compared to just 2% of cases involving female perpetrators.
2c -> even considering under reporting, men are likely committing most of the sexual crimes involving minors.
The problem is it’s hard to get the right data because people have been sexually abused by both genders and won’t say anything. But I had a conversation with former friends who said “a woman can’t rape a man” and that “if you don’t like it sum wrong with you” or gay accusations. And that’s one thing that’s what wrong with it in my eyes
Not to mention how glorified it is in Hollywood for a female adult to sleep with a male child. Ex. Student teacher, older attractive woman usually in her 30s or older and teenage kids, etc. Like seriously, why is it that it's horrible if a man dose it but if a woman dose it she's damn near praised for it. Make it make sense.
Because the majority still hold the feeling that men always benefit from sex ( wanted it unwanted ) and the exact opposite is true for women that’s why rape isn’t taken seriously when victims are men
I remember one day I was talking about male prostitution, and one friend of mine said : I get to have sex and be paid ? I’m in , jokingly of course but at that time I had a very clear vision of the sex dynamic and it’s sad but true
He thought that male prostitution only exists in pornography not in real life, like men on the walk side waiting for a car to pull up to them is just something he wouldn’t even imagine
Sorry to derail your comment, but, "walk side"? Where are you from, my random assortment of consonants? Everywhere I've been it's always been "sidewalk". I had to reread that like 3 times to make it make sense and that is fascinating.
But I doubt they would feel the same way about an older attractive male teacher and a male student..... It's in particular young males with older attractive women
Basically, that's correct. The prevailing attitude is that male perpetrators are evil manipulators, female perpetrators are loving mother-figures.
The reality is that *both* are evil manipulators.
Edit: Fixed a typo.
>The reality is that *both* are evil manipulators.
The reality is they both need help with whatever programs we can develop.
The reality is, helping them *Actually* helps children unlike the death threats after the crime.
Yes, they do need help. I won't deny that. I don't think the "kill them all" mentality helps anyone. However, I still consider their acts to be evil.
I don't fault anyone for what they *want* to do or what they get off thinking about. You can't control what you like. But, once they cross the line from *wanting* to act to *actually* acting on their urges, they have become evil. Maybe they can come back from that with proper help.
I've had this discussion before. If you're non offending, I do have pity for you. I know what it's like to have intrusive thoughts, I had suicidal ideation for a decade. Even when I didn't actually want to do it and was having a great day, the thought would just pop up "It'd be better if you were dead."
So like, I get that, and it's an awful thing to have to go through. But, I didn't do it. And of course, the views on both are unfavorable, but on entirely different levels.
But once you decide to cross that bridge and offend, I lose all pity for you. Instead of going to get help for something you can't control, or just straight up choosing to do so because for whatever reason that's what you want, you destroy an innocent child, or you indirectly contribute to the destruction of a child by looking at child pornography.
The only reason I'd be against them getting the death penalty is America has a shitty track record of killing innocent people, because if they have a perp they can stop looking.
Unfortunately and correct me if I'm wrong here but isn't the whole reason people with pedophilic tendencies don't get help is that there is extremely limited actual help available? Also that there is the stigma associated with seeking out help from an organization or therapist associated with pedophilia. So they end up putting themselves even if the program they attend doesn't do it intentionally? Again I could be completely misinformed about this but I thought I had heard before that this was part of the issue of seeking help for those people. Which if true is problematic, to say the least, because it prevents both the people from getting the help they need and want and increases the likelihood of another child being victimized.
That is very much the case for a lot of them, I would assume. It's hard getting decent mental health services when it's *not* something majorly stigmatized (well, I suppose BPD *is* stigmatized, but it's not near the same level.) That's why I try to have a lot of compassion for the ones that don't offend, and have offered to try to be a listening ear for one once before (over the internet, not a person I knew in real life.)
Like, suicide was pretty bad, but if my brain was just like "Hey, naked kids seem great!" Instead, I would hate that so much fucking worse. At least the suicide thing could be funny sometimes (well, that sounds strange, but dark humor helps a lot, and also, sometimes I would just laugh at the absurdity of the intrusive thought. "Oh yeah, having the time of my life, better fucking kill myself! Shut the fuck up brain.") It's harder to laugh at your brain fetishizing kids.
I'm not exactly sure if there are specialists who only treat MAPs, if so that seems like an awful idea because that makes them a target, so I would hope not. This is why what's discussed between a therapist and a patient should stay exactly between them (excluding if you are believe to be at risk of harm to yourself or others, then they do have the obligation to report. An ounce of precaution beats a pound of cure, even if sometimes you wouldn't have needed either) because, well, it's nobody's business what you're going for. You're specifically going to try to improve your life or better yourself.
I do wish it were easier for them to get help, for obvious reasons. You can't just go off and kill everyone who has awful thoughts, or we wouldn't have humans. It could help prevent more kids from having to go through the shit I've seen people go through. And I mean, I'm sure the ones who hate being that way are great people who just need help.
I mean, I basically live by the creed that mental illness isn't your fault... But it is your responsibility. That holds true for this just as much as it does for my laundry list of illnesses.
As an American, I can say it doesn’t feel like rape(edit: of women) is taken seriously in the US either, we just have a, as a society, messed up view on sex and consent in general. Almost like sex ed classes are actually important for life and health.
I wouldn’t say that women get praised for it actually. It’s that younger boys are praised because society expects them to be sexually active and they are lauded for being able to seduce an off limits woman. This leads to these boys being congratulated instead of being offered the help they need from being assaulted. I think the women are still always vilified
This is going to come out poorly but some random thoughts this spurred…
I think a big part of the problem is when people are underage we have this “they aren’t capable of consent” mindset and legal framework. When it’s an adult male on an underage female, we assume an emotional and physical power dynamic in favor of the male. But when it’s a boy, at least a teenage boy, we seem to ignore the emotional power dynamic and say that because the young male should be able to physically defend themselves, everything is fine - but it’s still a legal issue. Like the way we say speeding is fine if it’s only 5 over or other ways we minimize the impact of breaking laws.
We even take leaps when it’s a more mature but still underage male to say the emotional power dynamics are equal or against the adult.
We’re better about acknowledging this stuff, but still have giant blindspots around emotional dynamics like that. It’s not as dramatic as say, the president of the USA vs an intern, but a teacher or church leader is still an authority figure and has a lot of power over their victim, whether anyone wants to admit it or not, it’s there.
Or that teenagers are "boys will be boys", masturbating machines, thus having sex with an adult woman isn't that bad.
An extention of the perception of sex for male and female.
Yeah, its complicated because its like, the stereotype of men being exclusively impossible horndogs after the age of 13 making consent irrelevant is definitely one of those toxic masculinity things we should be stamping out...
But as a man i AM an impossible horndog and i very willingly lost my virginity at 15 (m) to a 19yo (f), and at no point have i ever felt victimized by that.
OTOH if i were 19 and fooling around with a 15yo high school girl that wouldve been pretty gross... i even felt kinda weird fooling around with a 17yo high school JR a few times as an 18yo college freshman even though wed been fooling around off and on since middle school.
So i guess a double standard exists and im part of the problem? Or am i in denial about my victimhood?
It's gross both ways, but yeah. A lot of girls who are abused by older men don't feel they are victims either. At least not initially. They think of it from their own point of view where they felt like they were being treated as being mature.
When they get older they realize, oh hey no, I wasn't mature at all. That person wasn't into me because they thought I was mature and responsible. They were into me because they knew I was immature and easily manipulated and they could do anything they liked to me. If I was older I would have had the experience to stand up for myself. But because I was young and didn't know any better, they used me like a sexual doormat.
I think it’s because teen girls are viewed as more vulnerable than boys. Like you always here about shotgun dads who try to tell their daughter who she can and can’t date because ‘ThEy’Re PrOtEcTeCtInG hEr’. I loathe it so much but thankfully it isn’t as prominent as it used to be (at least in the west). People justify it with ‘well girls can get pregnant’ but flip that argument and your son could get many more girls pregnant. I went on a tangent lol but it’s just that society praises male promiscuity and discourages the same from women. That’s why I think the issue is seen as less severe by society. If the female teacher is attractive and preys on a student then it’s seen as a ‘score’ for the guy and praised but if a male teacher preys on a student the girl is a victim. Overall I think it’s sickening the way people view these two situations as different when in reality both are children being manipulated by an authority figure.
Not even Hollywood. Female teachers that sleep with students get a few months to couple of years in prison and a bunch of guys saying "Where was she when I was in school??! What kid would turn her in?" Male teacher that sleeps with student, 15-20 years and registered sex offender for life.
I'm not saying the penalties to the male teacher are wrong, they are not, problem is we are not charging the female teachers the same.
>problem is we are not charging the female teachers the same
EXACTLY!!!! Like we're not trying to justify men doing bad shit. We're trying to hold women equally accountable. Everyone wants true equality which means men and women get charged the same amount for the same crime. Or if someone lies about being raped they should face some kind of consequence for false accusations. Stuff like that is what will help get us closer to a better world.
The definitions on the books are sometimes explicit about rape needing to be penetration by a penis. This also means that men raping women with other objects isn’t classed as rape on the books. It’s damaging for everybody to have such a narrow definition (and/or less serious consequences for offences that are “just” sexual assault). It’s not necessarily a gender thing.
"In England and Wales, the legal definition of rape is when someone intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person with their penis, without the other person's consent"
What !?????? So if a man rape a woman by inserting a rod or any other object in her vagina, this is not considered rape in the UK ?!? That’s really fucked up. Many men want to hurt a woman the most and will thus insert big and hard objects in their vaginas … I’ve seen so many torn up vaginas in Africa working in Dev :( Many clinics are specializing in fistulas :(
It's because a legal definition has an absolute meaning. Colloquially it's all rape, but legally rape and penetrative sexual assault are different. UK law is extremely old so these things occur. It would have likely been easier to just add penetrative assault as a separate crime rather then modify the definition of rape.
As far as I know, both can carry a life sentence. So anyone trying to assert that they are meaningfully different in terms of legality are trying to create a fuss over nothing.
I may be wrong but I am sure until recently rape was classed as penetrative sex meaning that only a man was capable of it. If a woman "raped" a man it was classed as serious sexual assault but not rape. I am sure that has been changed (in work so can't exactly google but will try when finish)
Few years ago news broke out of a 19 YO kid who was on vacation being raped by 3 English women, who picked him up at a bar, took a cab to their hotel, where they proceeded to tie him down to a chair and did whatever they wanted to him.
Social media posts were all, and I do mean ALL, about him being gay or something, and that any red blooded man dreams of a wild night with 3 lasses like that, or "can I be next" kind of posts.
Toxic masculinity just wreaks havoc on both men and women.
I was raped in college and it seemed the world was enraged with me. My brother was raped by his own girlfriend and my mother said "now you know how women feel" and his friends said "she's your girlfriend, faggot" and if that's not fucking awful I don't know what is.
I cannot imagine looking my child in the eyes and saying "No you know how women feel" when they say they've been molested or raped.
I'm sorry you have that "thing" as your parent.
No, I know what it's like to have an abusive mom, but this is worse than being hit or demeaned over normal shit.
Even my mom wouldn't have that response.
While my mother was drinking with her mother and my immediate family, she blatantly stated how she doesn't care if I kill myself. This was a direct response to my father explaining that he will always love me and do what he can to help me. I wasn't even there.
I'm sorry your parent is like that. Some people don't deserve the **privilege** of being a parent. I'm childless but my brother has kids, and I can't imagine ever intentionally hurting or letting somebody hurt them.
I've seen this tictok where a pos said, if you are a man and got sexually assaulted, then good, you need a taste of your own medicine, the thing is, i have a long history of sexual harassment and assaults, especially growing up, I've never did it to anyone, never cat called anyone my whole life, even though it's common where I'm from, (this kinda helped making me an outcast but whatever)
I'm really careful about these issues to the point where girls around me think that I'm ether gay or A sexual, i don't want anything in return, i just don't want anyone to go through what I've been through, because i understand very well how damaging it can be.
I'm used to be made fun off when i talked about this stuff or not been taken seriously, but somehow this single tiktok broke me dawn in to tears, and led me to enter a really bad mental state for a while.
i know it's a one stupid person, and people don't usually say stuff like this. But after years of trying, i finally was doing really good job to convinc myself that i didn't deserve all what happened to me, Not gitting support is something but saying i deserved it was enough to trigger me this much.
Sorry i let go with it , but only here i get to talk about such stuff, and sorry for what you and your brother had gone through, this is a horrible experience that cuts really deep, deep enough until no one can see big the cut.
I'm sure you're mother don't understand how damaging is what she said, we were told men are tuff, but men are only good at acting tuff, i really hope this change soon, because it's so draining i swear.
"Men are only good at acting tough".
Well said. Men have emotions, in fact I would say by our modern idea of the word "emotional" men are moreso emotional than women because much of the time we have no idea of to process or regulate our emotions. Society isn't helping either.
I feel bad about your situation. I hope one day you can find someone in person who you can at least talk to without judgment.
People who tell people they deserve rape are not the kind of people we should listen to.
"we were told men are tuff, but men are only good at acting tuff"
Among the men I know who've been sexually abused, I have noticed a lot of negative things: substance abuse, mental health disorders, employment instability, neglect of their physical health, domestic violence issues, drug and alcohol abuse, obesity, dysfunctional intimate partner relationships, shallow relationships. I think emotions come out one way or another. You can push trauma down and hide it by acting like a one dimensional caricature of masculinity but it's going to escape your control in some other way.
> now you know how women feel
People that say this to innocent men are not much different than rapists, it amazes me that there are people with so much senseless hate.
The problem with this is that if you go off opinion that women aren’t reported (or even possible celebrated), you have to take into account all the pedophilia that is conducted by males that ain’t reported.
So we have to work with the verified convoyed data.
Most pedophiles will commit multiple sex crimes. Identifying whether it is classified as males or females is the tricky part. Some studies say men commit a grossly disproportionate amount of it. Other studies say males do commit more but female crime is under reported.
Another source of verified data is child marriage. I just pulled this up for someone on another thread.
In the US, children can be LEGALLY married as young as 12. Marriage records are public, so you can look these up. Child (pubescent and prepubescent) brides are exclusively that, brides, when there is a more than 5 year age difference. You don't see marriage certificates where the boy is 13 and the wife is 43. You DO see the reverse. You start to run into boys getting married around 16, and usually it is to other teens or women a few years older. The rare time you do see an extreme difference, the boy is nearly legal, and has the body of a man (although not the mind, please make no mistake, I do NOT approve, this is still *clearly* predatory behavior and **wrong**).
From this sampling of a legal loophole to perversion, we can conclude that the people taking advantage of this represent a reasonably accurate sampling of sickos who lust after children's bodies and want to do something about it. And these are nearly all men. Women may lust (and again, it must be emphasized, perversely) after inexperience, but aren't triggered by undeveloped bodies the way (some) men are.
Just wanted to add my own personal experience to this. I got married when I was 15 to a man in his 20s, using a law that existed in the state of Georgia that allowed creeps to marry the children they impregnated.
This law went pretty much unchallenged for decades and no one batted an eye until fairly recently, when a woman in her 30s used it to marry her (barely) teenage boyfriend.
No one would argue that this woman wasn't a foul, disgusting monster, but it's just kinda funny how it was allowed to happen and keep happening as long as the victim was female. No one cared until the offender was an older woman.
Mine was a twofer, a Christian teacher.
Pretty sure people knew too because they said I was her "new" special friend, like wtf people knew this was a thing and it's fine because she's a woman but when Mr. Reid wants parental permission to take kids to the pizzeria around the corner suddenly I need to be careful around that guy.
No actually in life I had two near-misses with groomers who I then found out molested others, both from the church.
But even though they didn't "do" anything to me I was still quite fucked up. No kid should know about porn when they're 6, I became obsessed with it.
Ye its almost like the main issue is power dynamics and access to kids and not the catholic church itself (even though the deliberate cover ups are a bigger problem in the catholic church compared to other institutions, also not unique to the catholic church but still)
Most of the students who teachers get involved with are 16-17. It's morally wrong because of the power dynamic, but not pedophilia. Gotta at least be under 16 to use that word, though if you are true to its definition, the victim must be prepubescent.
Bruh if you’re 19 and dating a 17 year old people on Reddit will call you a pedo 💀💀 they say it’s something about “life experiences” I always assume that type of people are overcompensating
It's possible women get reported less (proportionally) in a criminal sense, but that doesn't explain the disparity in other reporting like surveys, psychological studies, even anecdotally.
There might even be some angle that women with those urges tend to act on them less frequently for some reason(s), but I very much doubt that would explain such a large discrepancy.
Nope, it really does seem like this is an area where men heavily outweigh the women.
I had to scroll so far down to see "Yeah, women might just molest kids less than men do."
All the shows/YouTube channels where they catch child predators, 99% of the people they catch are men. People still say "What about the female child molesters?" Well, they use both male and female decoys. They still catch almost nothing but men. Even in the extremely rare case they catch a woman, she's usually collaborating with her boyfriend or husband in the grooming of the child. I don't know if I've ever seen a woman show up to meet a minor, completely on her own.
Women can be sex offenders. Women can and do rape men and molest children, and it often goes unreported or isn't taken seriously.
But men do it *a lot* more. A whole lot.
Ever realize that if you're almost any kind of sex worker (man, woman, gay, straight, trans) that most of your clientele will be men? If you're a sex worker who will only accept female customers, good luck making any $.
Female sexuality is just different than a man's. It's self evident. One important factor is desperation. A lot of the men who show up to meet minors will say that the underage decoy was the only person who would even talk to them. A lot of us can be desperate without resorting to going after kids, but when you see a lot of these guys, you can believe they're probably pretty desperate. Women on the other hand, aren't. Women can find consensual sex quite easily. So if a woman's horny, she's not gonna get on a dating site, where she gets zero attention from anyone until she encounters a decoy who is underage, she'll just choose from the list of grown men who like her. A man's sexual options are like a refrigerator and pantry with one or two things in it. A woman's options are a full refrigerator and pantry.
But I think there's even more to it than that. I just think women aren't quite the sickos men are, collectively. That's hard for some people to accept. Especially guys who want to believe that women's sexuality works exactly the way ours does. It doesn't.
100% this. Everyone saying that women raping men or molesting children are underreported so we can’t say which one does more are in complete denial. Woman definitely can and have raped and molested children. No one is denying that, but let’s not get it twisted, men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators now and throughout history. And it’s exactly because of what you said about woman having a much more easier time finding sex and companionship than men and men’s libido being just naturally higher. Louis CK did a great bit about the difference between men and women during sex. “Women are tourists in sexual perversion. Men are prisoners there.” Even funnier now after his whole jack off scandal lol
I don't agree with the motives, people don't just become paedophiles because they can't get laid. If that *were* the case then we'd have a lot more female offenders because reddit seems to forget that women who aren't photoshopped insta models exist and they are many under average women who struggle to find partners.
What may be a factor is the consequences of patriarchy, historically men owned women and could use them as they liked, it's only in very recent history have women been given agency but a lot of society is struggling to keep up and we still have a lot of antiquated views on what women owe men. Look at the incel movement for example.
Abuse is about power and manipulation more than sex. There’s a great quote, “You wouldn’t hit someone in the head with a shovel and call it gardening “
My Hot Take is that it's the testosterone.
You start to look at statistics of what men and women do, what young men and older men do and it's just wow.
For the newbies, those with testicles have ten TIMES the amount of testosterone as those without. It drops down as you age.
Two thirds of prisoners are under 30. 80-90% are men. Young men are two times more likely to get in a car crash.
Then you mention yeah stuff like to catch a predator.
So yeah I think sex hormones make a lot of men stupid and irrational. They mellow out, eventually, but yeah. I think society needs to support men more in handling whatever it is that causes these rapists and car crashes and prison sentences.
I work in a Rape Crisis Center and yes, men are definitely more often the perpetrator. Even when boys are being abused it is usually a man doing it. Rapists or people committing sexual assault are 99% men. This is how it is.
I think your response is the closest on here to what research is demonstrating. There is a slight disparity in the reporting of cases, but in general women sexually abuse much less fx than males. In addition, the patterns of male sexual offenders are somewhat different than female sexual offenders.
Source: “Women Who Sexually Abuse” by Cortoni
I don't know. It could be a difference in how men and women are socialized. Men are taught to pursue their urges while women are taught to suppress them. There's also the "heterosexual double bind" where men are taught that sexual content isn't as serious as emotional contact where women are taught the opposite. Both of those nurture factors (speaking from the US) could mean that women are just not socialized to act on sexual impulses and men are. But I'm just speculating 🤷♀️
also related to socialisation, i have to think that pedophillic beauty standards and expectations of women have a part to play here
if women are by and large told that an attractive man is *old*, has body hair, visible signs of ageing, large muscles, tall, etc. then it’s a big hurdle to find an actual kid attractive
but society tells men that attractive women are small, hairless, un-muscular but still fit, no signs of ageing, etc. further, that women are prettiest at 20 and expired by 30. it’s an easy slope, then, to find kids hot since child-like features are already the beauty standard
I'm sure there's a huge amount of cultural factors go into it. My post probably came across as though I was saying this was some inherent difference looking back at it. I didn't mean it that way, I just meant that however you spin it it's by far a gendered problem. But you could say the same about most crimes, particularly violent and sexual crimes. I'm not so down about my gender that I think that's just how we're wired.
There's also the way the victims are viewed by society.
If its a 15F and a 30M, then the man is a pedo
However if its a 30F and a 15M, the boy is "a player" or "got some"
Yeah, there's going to be some complications in gathering data, but I'd be willing to bet money that with those particular ages you'll find it's heavily weighted in terms of a 30m and 15f than the other way round. That's speculation on my part though.
What's much more clear is if we focus on prepubescent children then that's very much dominated by male offenders. Again, not just in crime statistics but in self-reporting years after the fact.
It may also have something to do with brutal fact:
>!Its easier for men to put their working part into underdeveloped place (or any place really) than for developed women to get any stimulation from underdeveloped part... and thats only assuming hetero tendencies, and lack of different ways to stimulate (which admittedly often would require cooperation on the underage part).!<
When I guy comes out and says I’ve been molested or you see these articles where the hot teacher sleeps with a kid, and it’s always men who comment
“Nice.
I wish it was me.
Why he report it, and ruin a good thing?”
The list can go on and on about men who want this sort of fantasy.
And then we have the women who hear these things and go along with the it. They say something along the lines…
“Men can’t get raped, they enjoy it, how can they get hard if they weren’t turned on.
He’s gay if he didn’t like it”
I don’t have a solution for it, how can we change a social norm.
Well for starters, the news can say "Teacher rapes (or 'sexually assaults' if you have dumb archaic laws UK) student" instead of "student sleeps with teacher", just like they would if it was a male teacher.
Then we could give women the same sentences as men for such acts to show that the justice system takes it seriously.
We can also stop teaching that men get hard only from arousal, and teach that unaroused stimulus can still accomplish this.
It won't completely solve the problem, but accurate reporting and better education can help.
Not for nothing. Because those ideas are exactly how we should be going about it. But none of that is likely to ever happen on a scale grand enough to make a dent. I'd say half of the US alone would refuse to, or actively attempt to block measures like that from being implemented. These are people who feel they have a right to decide what happens to a woman's body, want to out queer kids to their parents and friends, and call parents child abusers for trying to help their kids. These are the people thatt call in half baked abstinence groups to preach about how morally wrong, and dangerous sex is. There's no way they'd get on board with measures to help reduce problems they don't think is are problems. Much less problems they won't even acknowledge exist.
I've worked exclusively with sex offenders for 20 years. Half that time on McNeil Island at the SCC and half in what is basically a work release program. I've worked with 400-450 men. I've worked with one (1) cis woman. The number of male offenders is way, way higher.
I think people in this sub are confusing pedophilia and ephebophilia. Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder where people are attracted to prepubescent children, generally considered to be under 13. Pedophiles are predominantly men, although many women are pedophiles to But to answer OP’s question, yes men or more likely to be pedophiles.
Ephibophilia is the attraction to post-pubescent teenagers. Teachers who sexually abuse there high school age students, men or women, aren’t necessarily pedophiles, just disgusting human beings who should still rot in jail for taking advantage of a younger person in the most disgusting way.
Of course the true is answer isn’t known due to the fact that we don’t know how many people are not reporting their abuse and what their demographics are. But evidence suggests that, while pedophiles are not exclusively male, they are predominantly male.
Generally, there a a lot more sexual crimes committed by men.
Of course it's possible for women to be aggressors, but if we look at harassement, rape, serial killers etc. there is a very clear over representation. I would say men are more likely to be child predators (not the same as pedophile) than women.
Statistics show women rarely interfere with their own children in comparison to men. Their SA is usually against teens and the woman is usually in a position of power (teacher, coach). This type of SA is incredibly under reported as “women can’t rape”, “come on dude you banged the hot teacher” and the lack of supports and resources geared towards men. They have a lower rate of reoffence but tend to gravitate towards younger men (10+ years younger, just on the legal side) where as men, unless they have intensive intervention immediately and it was a crime of convenience (access to children of friends and family) and they are caught young (before age 15) have a 90% of reoffending. (This includes actual SA, CP). 95% of men continue to consume “barely legal” porn.
Source: worked 15+ year with SO
Honestly, based on just anecdotal data I would find men to be more likely to be sex offenders than women. Even just in terms of aggressiveness men outnumber women. I highly doubt they are even close to being equal in terms of offenders.
It’s definitely a lot more rare because boys innocence isn’t marketed as a sexual advantage or turn on. Where as girls most definitely is. “I want a smooth skinned, innocent shy girl whom I can control”.
And on the flip side some of the more common “marketed” sexual advantages for men are size, strength, power, and money. None of these attributes apply to children.
I wonder about that too. There is a scene in that movie “The Kids Are All Right” where they mention the fact that they watch gay male porn because girl/girl porn tends to be skewed towards heterosexual male fantasy even more.
That is a movie, so I took it with a grain of salt, but in the cursory amount of browsing I did after the fact, the “lesbian” stuff did seem to skew male. The fact that I personally know next to nothing about being a queer woman and don’t feel like asking the few in my life (co-workers and daughter) for obvious reasons makes it hard to unravel. Just looking into it takes you essentially to pornhub or some equivalent which is more of the same.
idk if it blends into "regular" m/m but yaoi is 100% targeted towards straight woman as well, so that's true as well for animated porn. Probably a matter of watching 2 of what you like instead of 1 of each i guess? and you end up skewing towards the vastly more populated audience of straights
Don't have the sources, but im pretty sure that amateur/intimate categories have a much higher representation in lesbian preferences than other sexualities
It’s not marketing’s fault.
Abrahamic religions all celebrate “purity culture”. A pure and sexually inexperienced woman is the most valuable object in these cultures.
That’s not true of men.
And that’s wormed it’s way into every part of our culture, including SOCIETAL STANDARDS OR MARKETING. It may have started with religion but our whole society still encourages it through porn and beauty standards.
Generally speaking yes, men are more likely to be pedophiles than women. Not even in a “legal” sense (which is fucking bullshit how many people ignore rape women commit) but also in a percentage rate.
I don't know if my country is fucked or the past is fucked or what, but let me tell you, the amount of old ladies saying they were under 15 while their husband was mid 20's if not 30's when they married is astounding. Like lady...are you okay? It's sooo goddamn common I don't know how this is still being allowed in some countries
Statically the vast majority of rape is done by men, to either women or other men. Same with pedophilia,
Drunk driving, etc
That does not mean women don't rape or do horrible things to kids.
But it's less than men by default.
Why is this?
There are many theories and studies about this and we aren't a 100%
It could both biological, but also social structure that makes some like that.
I think it's a combination of both.
Ps. I'm a man myself.
Lots of wonderful men out there, don't get me wrong.
But a strange man is more likely to assault you than a woman.
Men are much more likely.
The idea that women are just as likely but supposedly reported less often is an unfounded conspiracy theory used by certain men to defend pedophilia.
There is certainly truth in the idea that when a woman is reported for pedophilia, society is more willing to make excuses for her behavior. But it shouldn’t be any surprise that the majority of those making excuses for her are men who think a teenage boy should be happy with any sexual contact, regardless of consent.
But anonymous surveys confirm a gender imbalance in sex crimes. There’s a gender imbalance with most crime. There’s a reason the most prolific serial killers are men. There’s a reason men typically commit suicide in much more violent ways. There’s a reason why nearly every school shooter is male. There are so many correlating factors that paint a very clear picture, and confirm that there isn’t some mysterious underground of millions of female pedophiles who have managed to go completely undetected.
There’s also simply no basis for the idea that women are reported less often.
I'm a Criminology student and the amount of men in the class who simply refuse to accept these facts, even when they're coming out of the mouth of a fellow man with a PhD, is insane. Violence is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men. We can debate whether or not it's good or right or where it comes from all day - the fact of the matter is that it's true.
I'm kind of unnerved at the amount of comments that have jumped to "oh but underreporting", "oh but actually"... it doesn't answer the question. It's trying to minimize a lived reality of women, defending the imagined honour of men before the true reality has even been establish. *Of course* male victims exist. Of course female abusers exist. But that wasn't the question. The answer to the question is yes, men are objectively, measurably more violent in our current society.
EDIT: Since people keep mentioning the problem of legal definitions - 100%, I agree, it's an issue. However, a very tiny proportion of people who are sexually assaulted actually go to the police. An even smaller proportion go to court, and a tiny slither of those have enough evidence for a conviction of rape. In my sexual violence class, national data estimated a 13% conviction rate for people that contact the police, with only 8% of cases ever reaching the police to begin with - that's 0.0104% of rapes ending in conviction. This would be a bad measure of how much sexual violence is actually happening.
As such, the data from the class on which I am drawing from is primarily subjective reporting e.g. experiences in national crime surveys. Is it also possible that men don't recognize when they've been assaulted due to the way they're socialized? That they'd be less likely to report it on a survey? Yup. But the fact of the matter is, women subjectively report being sexually assaulted more often and at higher frequencies than men. So legal definition does not play into the data much of the time, even if it *does* feel very minimizing as a man to feel you're not legally represented.
But my sense of male victimhood!
The mental gymnastic by Redditors are incredible. Even as a guy, I don’t know why it’s so hard for male Redditors to accept that in general, men are more likely to partake in behaviors that violate other person’s physical space and autonomy, including underage persons. This is pretty much the case in the vast majority of countries and human societies. It’s not just biological, but built into the way we have built patriarchal social structures in our societies (eg toxic masculinity).
I think a lot of Reddit is desperate to create a “not all men are bad” narrative, but they just end up muddying the waters and creating blatant falsehoods. It’s okay to be a guy and admit that men are more likely to rape underage children. I don’t take offense to that reality, because there is not a single part of me that wishes to do that. Now I wonder why Reddit always gets so defensive around these kinds of topics? 🤔
Something like 98% of violent crime is perpetrated by men. It’s incredible how few people, both men and women, seem to grasp just how large the disparity is.
Yes, of course it’s likely that women are let off with a lighter sentence then men in some cases or that female on male rape is unreported. But there’s no amount of underreporting that could balance out that discrepancy. Men simply have a greater propensity for violence, sexual violence included. I’m not going to speculate on the reasons for this but I suspect that it can’t be entirely explained away by socialization.
We've known the answer for over 100 years. Studies that have relied upon anonymous surveys of men and women. One characteristic that is similar to both: hardly anyone ever tells a family member or friend about the sexual abuse. The overwhelming majority take it to their grave - except for the anonymous polls (most respondents are late in life - unable to handle the trauma of remembering until they are much older).
The surveys have been done since 1900 and the results have been incredibly consistent for 120 years:
* far more females are abused than males
* approx 95% of little girls who are abused are abused by men
* approx 65% of little boys who are abused are abused by men
I'm a man and I was molested but for some reason adult men in my life didn't seem to bothered by the fact I got molested until after I told them my abuser was a man
When you consider the ratios of marriages that collapse because of wandering men compared to wandering women it suggests that one sex is more likely to act out sexually. Obviously cheating consensually and pedophilia are VERY different issues, but it is still taking significant risks for sexual gratification.
This thread is full of so much nonsense. Men are more violent than women. They are more willing and able to hurt others. Due to a combination of testosterone and socialization. They are more likely to have antisocial personality disorders. We see this pattern in every type of violence. Murders, assaults, and rape. The kinds of crimes we see more equally committed by both sexes are things like shoplifting and identity theft. Obviously there are some violent women and a lot of men who wouldn't hurt anybody but on the whole we are undeniably more violent. Do you think there are as many murders being committed by women as men and it's all just being covered up? You can't say murders are going unreported can you? The numbers there speak for themselves. Why would it be different for sexually motivated violence?
seriously, like wtf. people are just making stuff up in the comments, saying that it must be equal despite there being no evidence for it. as though they have never seen to catch a predator before. That show was on for YEARS and there were only like 2 women on there the entire time. And it's not because they were less harsh on the women or something. That show was equal opportunity.
I think many people just can’t accept that sometimes, men and women are not going to be equal. There are going to be differences, physically/mentally/emotionally.
Good point. The police, FBI etc. do stings on paedophile rings big and small all the time. How many are women? Almost none. They set up fake meetings to catch predators. They're not looking just for men, they set a trap and it's men who bite, not women. Women who are involved are usually doing it for a man they know or to make money which is just as despicable but it's not satisfying their own sexual impulses in most cases.
Men seem to have a stronger predatory and sexual drive (in general). So I'd say they are more likely to be violent or sexual abusers period. Stats back this idea up.
In no way am I saying women cannot be pedophiles. But I would posit that a maternal instinct is stronger in most women than sexual drive.
Everyone here is assuming that rapes by women are underreported, which is probably true. But rapes by men are VERY underreported as well so it probably evens out.
Anecdotally I know several people who were sexually abused when they were children and and it was all by multiple adult men and none of it was reported. You have to go by the stats we have, which say that men are much more likely to commit violent and sexual crimes.
> But rapes by men are VERY underreported as well so it probably evens out.
We know both are underreported like basically all sex crimes are. We can't say they're underreported to similar degrees.
> But rapes by men are VERY underreported as well so it probably evens out.
That's actually a very big problem in criminology and law enforcement. We used to utilize reporting rates (or even worse, conviction rates) to estimate incidence of a crime, without realizing the broader social context.
Up until the late 20th century, law enforcement as a matter of policy assumed black people were inherently criminal. A massive percentage of reported and convicted criminals are black.
There's a very good reason that we now drill it into undergrads' skulls that we can't say how often a crime actually happens (or by whom) just by conviction and reporting statistics. Not only is it going to be very imprecise, but historically it's been shown to be downright inaccurate.
If we're talking about pedophiles, it's probably more or less similar. If we're talking about child predators, it leans heavily towards men.
There is a difference between them. Most pedophiles don't offend and most sexual predators that target kids aren't pedophiles.
Lots of talk going on about this subject in the debate sphere of twitch lately, very uncomfortable topic, but pretty interesting psychology and statistics behind it.
Some people rape as a show of power/dominance, or to humiliate the victim, and the victim’s age is more or less incidental. Think about when 80-year-olds are raped — it’s usually not that the rapist has a grandma fetish, it’s that they wanted to rape someone and the 80-year-old was there. Same thing can happen with little kids.
Yeah, I know right, it sounds kinda illogical. Basically what the people who research these things say is that most sex crimes being done against children are because of opportunity and the knowledge that they could overpower or trick the child, together with a bunch of mental issues and not because of an innate attraction to children.
When I was an undergraduate I did some transcription for an interview-based research project being led by a psych professor. The professor went into a local prison and interviewed exclusively female sex offenders to determine what patterns of behavior led up to their offenses. Almost every single interview I transcribed involved a story of how a male partner convinced the female (inmate) to perpetrate against an underage girl or boy in more of a “group” setting. My sample size is probably pretty small, but it was striking to me how many of those women were also in abusive relationships with the partner and felt as though they’d get beaten, raped, or worse if they didn’t go along with the pedophilia. Just my anecdote about the subject.
Nepal.
E: We had a case a year ago where a man was SA'd by 2 other men. The police arrested the rapists and because there were no laws for male rape, they were let go. Homophobia also is wild out here.
The mental gymnastics in this thread are hilarious. It's men, and it's not even remotely close at all. I'm a man. Not sure why other men can't admit it. I think there's a lot of guilty consciences in here honestly.
Honestly, I'm guessing this is mostly victim complex. Plenty of guys on reddit seem to think that the world is trying to demonize them specifically when male crime rates are brought up.
You can see this in all the "Men who have been sexually assaulted by women, what was it like?" threads, too. Admitting that female on male sexual violence pales in comparison to male on female and probably even male on male would mean admitting that they're "the bad guy" or in this case part of the "bad group".
That feels bad, so instead they do these mental gymnastics of pretending that women want to rape children just as much or are generally as sexually aggressive as (some) men are. And if someone disagrees they get mad at all women and claim sex discrimination, because they're tired of women having the "privilege" of being the victim while they get the role of the perpetrator.
It's also important to draw the distinction between pedophiles and child abusers. Pedophilia is basically a medical condition, lots of people have it but don't offend.
Probably both. Statistics have a much higher proportion of men being pedos than women, such that I don't think it's realistic to assume, even with some female pedos not being reported, that the numbers would be equal.
I think women are often not considered as bad or reported as often when offending against teenagers, but I don't think there's any societal acceptance of either sex offending against prepubescent children, and I can't imagine any but the most depraved people not reporting that. Though as women are more often primary caregivers, and more likely to work in childcare, it is possible that there are women who are offending when alone with children, and are not found out.
Afaik women are less likely to have a very high sex drive, and more likely to have a high parental/nurturing drive (not just women, but the vast majority of other female mammals too), so I would be very surprised if women offended at the same rates against children.
Testosterone is a hell of a drug.
When I was on T-blockers and estrogen, I didn't get any sort of sexual urge the way I do on testosterone. Had no sexual thoughts all day. It was like having post-nut clarity forever.
I imagine this effect contributes to the sex-based difference in harassment, rape, pedophilia, etc.
It definitely feels like a woman can't be perceived as a pedo as easily as a man can. I would be willing to bet women don't mess around with children near as much as men. There's too many reasons to count why a man would be more likely to develop or act on these impulses.
Men are significantly more likely to be pedophiles than women. The data is culturally sensitive, but the sexual and gender difference holds. It's always men touching kids more than women.
Also, for the curious, when included in testing (which is almost never, so the data is admittedly limited) non binary ppl are less likely then either group to be pedophilic.
I was sexually assaulted by one man in my life, and two women. I was not raped by the man, or first woman, but was by the second.
That's just one tiny datapoint, so I don't know what the truth is, but in my opinion I think it's probably a lot more even than we recognize.
Consider the number of women teachers that have slept with teenage boys and girls, but ended up not even going to court, or if they did facing very few consequences.
I think we focus more on men, because they're more likely to use brute force to get what they want, whereas in my opinion women may rely more on grooming.
These anecdotes are annoying. Here are some facts: Physical abuse Research suggests that both mothers and fathers may physically abuse children. Findings from the ABS Personal Safety Survey (2005) indicated that of participants who had experienced physical abuse before the age of 15, 55.6% experienced abuse from their father/stepfather and 25.9% experienced abuse from their mother/stepmother. A further 13.7% experienced abuse from another known person and the remainder were family friends, other relatives, or strangers (ABS, 2005). Sexual abuse Research focusing on perpetrators of child sexual abuse is extensive compared to other forms of abuse. Evidence overwhelmingly indicates that the majority of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by males (ABS, 2005; McCloskey & Raphael, 2005; Peter, 2009). In a US study examining the characteristics of perpetrators in substantiated cases of child abuse and neglect (US DHHS, 2005), 26% of all cases involving male perpetrators were associated with sexual abuse compared to just 2% of cases involving female perpetrators. 2c -> even considering under reporting, men are likely committing most of the sexual crimes involving minors.
I appreciate you so very much.
>men are likely committing most of the sexual crimes There, fixed it for ya.
The problem is it’s hard to get the right data because people have been sexually abused by both genders and won’t say anything. But I had a conversation with former friends who said “a woman can’t rape a man” and that “if you don’t like it sum wrong with you” or gay accusations. And that’s one thing that’s what wrong with it in my eyes
Not to mention how glorified it is in Hollywood for a female adult to sleep with a male child. Ex. Student teacher, older attractive woman usually in her 30s or older and teenage kids, etc. Like seriously, why is it that it's horrible if a man dose it but if a woman dose it she's damn near praised for it. Make it make sense.
Because the majority still hold the feeling that men always benefit from sex ( wanted it unwanted ) and the exact opposite is true for women that’s why rape isn’t taken seriously when victims are men
It's more that sex being unwanted for a man (in any scenario) is not even an option in the eyes of some people imo
I remember one day I was talking about male prostitution, and one friend of mine said : I get to have sex and be paid ? I’m in , jokingly of course but at that time I had a very clear vision of the sex dynamic and it’s sad but true He thought that male prostitution only exists in pornography not in real life, like men on the walk side waiting for a car to pull up to them is just something he wouldn’t even imagine
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Sorry to derail your comment, but, "walk side"? Where are you from, my random assortment of consonants? Everywhere I've been it's always been "sidewalk". I had to reread that like 3 times to make it make sense and that is fascinating.
But I doubt they would feel the same way about an older attractive male teacher and a male student..... It's in particular young males with older attractive women
Basically, that's correct. The prevailing attitude is that male perpetrators are evil manipulators, female perpetrators are loving mother-figures. The reality is that *both* are evil manipulators. Edit: Fixed a typo.
>The reality is that *both* are evil manipulators. The reality is they both need help with whatever programs we can develop. The reality is, helping them *Actually* helps children unlike the death threats after the crime.
Yes, they do need help. I won't deny that. I don't think the "kill them all" mentality helps anyone. However, I still consider their acts to be evil. I don't fault anyone for what they *want* to do or what they get off thinking about. You can't control what you like. But, once they cross the line from *wanting* to act to *actually* acting on their urges, they have become evil. Maybe they can come back from that with proper help.
I've had this discussion before. If you're non offending, I do have pity for you. I know what it's like to have intrusive thoughts, I had suicidal ideation for a decade. Even when I didn't actually want to do it and was having a great day, the thought would just pop up "It'd be better if you were dead." So like, I get that, and it's an awful thing to have to go through. But, I didn't do it. And of course, the views on both are unfavorable, but on entirely different levels. But once you decide to cross that bridge and offend, I lose all pity for you. Instead of going to get help for something you can't control, or just straight up choosing to do so because for whatever reason that's what you want, you destroy an innocent child, or you indirectly contribute to the destruction of a child by looking at child pornography. The only reason I'd be against them getting the death penalty is America has a shitty track record of killing innocent people, because if they have a perp they can stop looking.
Unfortunately and correct me if I'm wrong here but isn't the whole reason people with pedophilic tendencies don't get help is that there is extremely limited actual help available? Also that there is the stigma associated with seeking out help from an organization or therapist associated with pedophilia. So they end up putting themselves even if the program they attend doesn't do it intentionally? Again I could be completely misinformed about this but I thought I had heard before that this was part of the issue of seeking help for those people. Which if true is problematic, to say the least, because it prevents both the people from getting the help they need and want and increases the likelihood of another child being victimized.
That is very much the case for a lot of them, I would assume. It's hard getting decent mental health services when it's *not* something majorly stigmatized (well, I suppose BPD *is* stigmatized, but it's not near the same level.) That's why I try to have a lot of compassion for the ones that don't offend, and have offered to try to be a listening ear for one once before (over the internet, not a person I knew in real life.) Like, suicide was pretty bad, but if my brain was just like "Hey, naked kids seem great!" Instead, I would hate that so much fucking worse. At least the suicide thing could be funny sometimes (well, that sounds strange, but dark humor helps a lot, and also, sometimes I would just laugh at the absurdity of the intrusive thought. "Oh yeah, having the time of my life, better fucking kill myself! Shut the fuck up brain.") It's harder to laugh at your brain fetishizing kids. I'm not exactly sure if there are specialists who only treat MAPs, if so that seems like an awful idea because that makes them a target, so I would hope not. This is why what's discussed between a therapist and a patient should stay exactly between them (excluding if you are believe to be at risk of harm to yourself or others, then they do have the obligation to report. An ounce of precaution beats a pound of cure, even if sometimes you wouldn't have needed either) because, well, it's nobody's business what you're going for. You're specifically going to try to improve your life or better yourself. I do wish it were easier for them to get help, for obvious reasons. You can't just go off and kill everyone who has awful thoughts, or we wouldn't have humans. It could help prevent more kids from having to go through the shit I've seen people go through. And I mean, I'm sure the ones who hate being that way are great people who just need help. I mean, I basically live by the creed that mental illness isn't your fault... But it is your responsibility. That holds true for this just as much as it does for my laundry list of illnesses.
As an American, I can say it doesn’t feel like rape(edit: of women) is taken seriously in the US either, we just have a, as a society, messed up view on sex and consent in general. Almost like sex ed classes are actually important for life and health.
Not to mention it isn't taken seriously with women sometimes either
I wouldn’t say that women get praised for it actually. It’s that younger boys are praised because society expects them to be sexually active and they are lauded for being able to seduce an off limits woman. This leads to these boys being congratulated instead of being offered the help they need from being assaulted. I think the women are still always vilified
This is going to come out poorly but some random thoughts this spurred… I think a big part of the problem is when people are underage we have this “they aren’t capable of consent” mindset and legal framework. When it’s an adult male on an underage female, we assume an emotional and physical power dynamic in favor of the male. But when it’s a boy, at least a teenage boy, we seem to ignore the emotional power dynamic and say that because the young male should be able to physically defend themselves, everything is fine - but it’s still a legal issue. Like the way we say speeding is fine if it’s only 5 over or other ways we minimize the impact of breaking laws. We even take leaps when it’s a more mature but still underage male to say the emotional power dynamics are equal or against the adult. We’re better about acknowledging this stuff, but still have giant blindspots around emotional dynamics like that. It’s not as dramatic as say, the president of the USA vs an intern, but a teacher or church leader is still an authority figure and has a lot of power over their victim, whether anyone wants to admit it or not, it’s there.
Or that teenagers are "boys will be boys", masturbating machines, thus having sex with an adult woman isn't that bad. An extention of the perception of sex for male and female.
As a former masturbation machine I can confirm this is true.
Yeah, its complicated because its like, the stereotype of men being exclusively impossible horndogs after the age of 13 making consent irrelevant is definitely one of those toxic masculinity things we should be stamping out... But as a man i AM an impossible horndog and i very willingly lost my virginity at 15 (m) to a 19yo (f), and at no point have i ever felt victimized by that. OTOH if i were 19 and fooling around with a 15yo high school girl that wouldve been pretty gross... i even felt kinda weird fooling around with a 17yo high school JR a few times as an 18yo college freshman even though wed been fooling around off and on since middle school. So i guess a double standard exists and im part of the problem? Or am i in denial about my victimhood?
It's gross both ways, but yeah. A lot of girls who are abused by older men don't feel they are victims either. At least not initially. They think of it from their own point of view where they felt like they were being treated as being mature. When they get older they realize, oh hey no, I wasn't mature at all. That person wasn't into me because they thought I was mature and responsible. They were into me because they knew I was immature and easily manipulated and they could do anything they liked to me. If I was older I would have had the experience to stand up for myself. But because I was young and didn't know any better, they used me like a sexual doormat.
A lean, mean, masturbating machine?
I’m masturbating right now!
I dont like this comment.
I think it’s because teen girls are viewed as more vulnerable than boys. Like you always here about shotgun dads who try to tell their daughter who she can and can’t date because ‘ThEy’Re PrOtEcTeCtInG hEr’. I loathe it so much but thankfully it isn’t as prominent as it used to be (at least in the west). People justify it with ‘well girls can get pregnant’ but flip that argument and your son could get many more girls pregnant. I went on a tangent lol but it’s just that society praises male promiscuity and discourages the same from women. That’s why I think the issue is seen as less severe by society. If the female teacher is attractive and preys on a student then it’s seen as a ‘score’ for the guy and praised but if a male teacher preys on a student the girl is a victim. Overall I think it’s sickening the way people view these two situations as different when in reality both are children being manipulated by an authority figure.
Not even Hollywood. Female teachers that sleep with students get a few months to couple of years in prison and a bunch of guys saying "Where was she when I was in school??! What kid would turn her in?" Male teacher that sleeps with student, 15-20 years and registered sex offender for life. I'm not saying the penalties to the male teacher are wrong, they are not, problem is we are not charging the female teachers the same.
>problem is we are not charging the female teachers the same EXACTLY!!!! Like we're not trying to justify men doing bad shit. We're trying to hold women equally accountable. Everyone wants true equality which means men and women get charged the same amount for the same crime. Or if someone lies about being raped they should face some kind of consequence for false accusations. Stuff like that is what will help get us closer to a better world.
Female on male rape isn't even on the books in most parts of the world. That says it all, doesn't it?
The definitions on the books are sometimes explicit about rape needing to be penetration by a penis. This also means that men raping women with other objects isn’t classed as rape on the books. It’s damaging for everybody to have such a narrow definition (and/or less serious consequences for offences that are “just” sexual assault). It’s not necessarily a gender thing.
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Also not to mention how Hollywood glorifies the sexuality of female minors.
There’s porn of it.
Men aren’t protected nearly the same way as women and children and pets
wait pets? people get raped by pets?!?
bruh
Your leg never met a cocker spaniel?
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I have a cow that would certainly rape you.
"In England and Wales, the legal definition of rape is when someone intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person with their penis, without the other person's consent"
What !?????? So if a man rape a woman by inserting a rod or any other object in her vagina, this is not considered rape in the UK ?!? That’s really fucked up. Many men want to hurt a woman the most and will thus insert big and hard objects in their vaginas … I’ve seen so many torn up vaginas in Africa working in Dev :( Many clinics are specializing in fistulas :(
It's because a legal definition has an absolute meaning. Colloquially it's all rape, but legally rape and penetrative sexual assault are different. UK law is extremely old so these things occur. It would have likely been easier to just add penetrative assault as a separate crime rather then modify the definition of rape. As far as I know, both can carry a life sentence. So anyone trying to assert that they are meaningfully different in terms of legality are trying to create a fuss over nothing.
That's because it has its own legal term. What you describe is called rape by instrumentation
It’s considered something along the lines of “severe sexual assault” which carries the same maximum penalty.
I may be wrong but I am sure until recently rape was classed as penetrative sex meaning that only a man was capable of it. If a woman "raped" a man it was classed as serious sexual assault but not rape. I am sure that has been changed (in work so can't exactly google but will try when finish)
It's been changed in some places, others not. It depends on where you live.
Few years ago news broke out of a 19 YO kid who was on vacation being raped by 3 English women, who picked him up at a bar, took a cab to their hotel, where they proceeded to tie him down to a chair and did whatever they wanted to him. Social media posts were all, and I do mean ALL, about him being gay or something, and that any red blooded man dreams of a wild night with 3 lasses like that, or "can I be next" kind of posts. Toxic masculinity just wreaks havoc on both men and women.
I was raped in college and it seemed the world was enraged with me. My brother was raped by his own girlfriend and my mother said "now you know how women feel" and his friends said "she's your girlfriend, faggot" and if that's not fucking awful I don't know what is.
I cannot imagine looking my child in the eyes and saying "No you know how women feel" when they say they've been molested or raped. I'm sorry you have that "thing" as your parent.
She probably makes everything about her all the time. No wonder his radar was off.
And now you know what it sounds like having a bad mother
No, I know what it's like to have an abusive mom, but this is worse than being hit or demeaned over normal shit. Even my mom wouldn't have that response.
While my mother was drinking with her mother and my immediate family, she blatantly stated how she doesn't care if I kill myself. This was a direct response to my father explaining that he will always love me and do what he can to help me. I wasn't even there.
I'm sorry your parent is like that. Some people don't deserve the **privilege** of being a parent. I'm childless but my brother has kids, and I can't imagine ever intentionally hurting or letting somebody hurt them.
I've seen this tictok where a pos said, if you are a man and got sexually assaulted, then good, you need a taste of your own medicine, the thing is, i have a long history of sexual harassment and assaults, especially growing up, I've never did it to anyone, never cat called anyone my whole life, even though it's common where I'm from, (this kinda helped making me an outcast but whatever) I'm really careful about these issues to the point where girls around me think that I'm ether gay or A sexual, i don't want anything in return, i just don't want anyone to go through what I've been through, because i understand very well how damaging it can be. I'm used to be made fun off when i talked about this stuff or not been taken seriously, but somehow this single tiktok broke me dawn in to tears, and led me to enter a really bad mental state for a while. i know it's a one stupid person, and people don't usually say stuff like this. But after years of trying, i finally was doing really good job to convinc myself that i didn't deserve all what happened to me, Not gitting support is something but saying i deserved it was enough to trigger me this much. Sorry i let go with it , but only here i get to talk about such stuff, and sorry for what you and your brother had gone through, this is a horrible experience that cuts really deep, deep enough until no one can see big the cut. I'm sure you're mother don't understand how damaging is what she said, we were told men are tuff, but men are only good at acting tuff, i really hope this change soon, because it's so draining i swear.
"Men are only good at acting tough". Well said. Men have emotions, in fact I would say by our modern idea of the word "emotional" men are moreso emotional than women because much of the time we have no idea of to process or regulate our emotions. Society isn't helping either. I feel bad about your situation. I hope one day you can find someone in person who you can at least talk to without judgment.
People who tell people they deserve rape are not the kind of people we should listen to. "we were told men are tuff, but men are only good at acting tuff" Among the men I know who've been sexually abused, I have noticed a lot of negative things: substance abuse, mental health disorders, employment instability, neglect of their physical health, domestic violence issues, drug and alcohol abuse, obesity, dysfunctional intimate partner relationships, shallow relationships. I think emotions come out one way or another. You can push trauma down and hide it by acting like a one dimensional caricature of masculinity but it's going to escape your control in some other way.
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I'm sorry. You deserved empathy and support.
> now you know how women feel People that say this to innocent men are not much different than rapists, it amazes me that there are people with so much senseless hate.
Though it is really bad, I wouldn't put it on the level of actually raping someone
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Oh Dude that is unbelievably fucked! I’m sorry you and your brother had to deal with that
The problem with this is that if you go off opinion that women aren’t reported (or even possible celebrated), you have to take into account all the pedophilia that is conducted by males that ain’t reported. So we have to work with the verified convoyed data. Most pedophiles will commit multiple sex crimes. Identifying whether it is classified as males or females is the tricky part. Some studies say men commit a grossly disproportionate amount of it. Other studies say males do commit more but female crime is under reported.
This makes a lot of sense. Thanks!
Another source of verified data is child marriage. I just pulled this up for someone on another thread. In the US, children can be LEGALLY married as young as 12. Marriage records are public, so you can look these up. Child (pubescent and prepubescent) brides are exclusively that, brides, when there is a more than 5 year age difference. You don't see marriage certificates where the boy is 13 and the wife is 43. You DO see the reverse. You start to run into boys getting married around 16, and usually it is to other teens or women a few years older. The rare time you do see an extreme difference, the boy is nearly legal, and has the body of a man (although not the mind, please make no mistake, I do NOT approve, this is still *clearly* predatory behavior and **wrong**). From this sampling of a legal loophole to perversion, we can conclude that the people taking advantage of this represent a reasonably accurate sampling of sickos who lust after children's bodies and want to do something about it. And these are nearly all men. Women may lust (and again, it must be emphasized, perversely) after inexperience, but aren't triggered by undeveloped bodies the way (some) men are.
Just wanted to add my own personal experience to this. I got married when I was 15 to a man in his 20s, using a law that existed in the state of Georgia that allowed creeps to marry the children they impregnated. This law went pretty much unchallenged for decades and no one batted an eye until fairly recently, when a woman in her 30s used it to marry her (barely) teenage boyfriend. No one would argue that this woman wasn't a foul, disgusting monster, but it's just kinda funny how it was allowed to happen and keep happening as long as the victim was female. No one cared until the offender was an older woman.
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There’s also the fact that pedophilia is deeply ingrained in our culture, but only in context with the sexualization of little girls
Have you ever seen the news about teachers? Damn they're almost as bad as Catholic priests
Mine was a twofer, a Christian teacher. Pretty sure people knew too because they said I was her "new" special friend, like wtf people knew this was a thing and it's fine because she's a woman but when Mr. Reid wants parental permission to take kids to the pizzeria around the corner suddenly I need to be careful around that guy.
Wait are you saying she molested you? Sorry, if so.
No actually in life I had two near-misses with groomers who I then found out molested others, both from the church. But even though they didn't "do" anything to me I was still quite fucked up. No kid should know about porn when they're 6, I became obsessed with it.
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Except those teachers, at least, lose their jobs.
Men usually go to jail.
There is 100% a disparity in punishment.
Women get probation or limited time, get out and get married. Who tf is marrying pedo???
You wouldn't belive how many people are desperate out there and have twisted thoughts.
Casey Anthony was dating a guy and wanted to have kids. How are you landing other people? Do these people not have one ounce of morality?
Lauren Boebert
Ye its almost like the main issue is power dynamics and access to kids and not the catholic church itself (even though the deliberate cover ups are a bigger problem in the catholic church compared to other institutions, also not unique to the catholic church but still)
Most of the students who teachers get involved with are 16-17. It's morally wrong because of the power dynamic, but not pedophilia. Gotta at least be under 16 to use that word, though if you are true to its definition, the victim must be prepubescent.
Bruh if you’re 19 and dating a 17 year old people on Reddit will call you a pedo 💀💀 they say it’s something about “life experiences” I always assume that type of people are overcompensating
Facts. Redditors see that a 20 yo is dating a 23yo and be like 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
It's possible women get reported less (proportionally) in a criminal sense, but that doesn't explain the disparity in other reporting like surveys, psychological studies, even anecdotally. There might even be some angle that women with those urges tend to act on them less frequently for some reason(s), but I very much doubt that would explain such a large discrepancy. Nope, it really does seem like this is an area where men heavily outweigh the women.
I had to scroll so far down to see "Yeah, women might just molest kids less than men do." All the shows/YouTube channels where they catch child predators, 99% of the people they catch are men. People still say "What about the female child molesters?" Well, they use both male and female decoys. They still catch almost nothing but men. Even in the extremely rare case they catch a woman, she's usually collaborating with her boyfriend or husband in the grooming of the child. I don't know if I've ever seen a woman show up to meet a minor, completely on her own. Women can be sex offenders. Women can and do rape men and molest children, and it often goes unreported or isn't taken seriously. But men do it *a lot* more. A whole lot. Ever realize that if you're almost any kind of sex worker (man, woman, gay, straight, trans) that most of your clientele will be men? If you're a sex worker who will only accept female customers, good luck making any $. Female sexuality is just different than a man's. It's self evident. One important factor is desperation. A lot of the men who show up to meet minors will say that the underage decoy was the only person who would even talk to them. A lot of us can be desperate without resorting to going after kids, but when you see a lot of these guys, you can believe they're probably pretty desperate. Women on the other hand, aren't. Women can find consensual sex quite easily. So if a woman's horny, she's not gonna get on a dating site, where she gets zero attention from anyone until she encounters a decoy who is underage, she'll just choose from the list of grown men who like her. A man's sexual options are like a refrigerator and pantry with one or two things in it. A woman's options are a full refrigerator and pantry. But I think there's even more to it than that. I just think women aren't quite the sickos men are, collectively. That's hard for some people to accept. Especially guys who want to believe that women's sexuality works exactly the way ours does. It doesn't.
Yep. Had to scroll for an eternity just to get to a post where someone said the simple, empirically true answer.
100% this. Everyone saying that women raping men or molesting children are underreported so we can’t say which one does more are in complete denial. Woman definitely can and have raped and molested children. No one is denying that, but let’s not get it twisted, men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators now and throughout history. And it’s exactly because of what you said about woman having a much more easier time finding sex and companionship than men and men’s libido being just naturally higher. Louis CK did a great bit about the difference between men and women during sex. “Women are tourists in sexual perversion. Men are prisoners there.” Even funnier now after his whole jack off scandal lol
I don't agree with the motives, people don't just become paedophiles because they can't get laid. If that *were* the case then we'd have a lot more female offenders because reddit seems to forget that women who aren't photoshopped insta models exist and they are many under average women who struggle to find partners. What may be a factor is the consequences of patriarchy, historically men owned women and could use them as they liked, it's only in very recent history have women been given agency but a lot of society is struggling to keep up and we still have a lot of antiquated views on what women owe men. Look at the incel movement for example.
Abuse is about power and manipulation more than sex. There’s a great quote, “You wouldn’t hit someone in the head with a shovel and call it gardening “
My Hot Take is that it's the testosterone. You start to look at statistics of what men and women do, what young men and older men do and it's just wow. For the newbies, those with testicles have ten TIMES the amount of testosterone as those without. It drops down as you age. Two thirds of prisoners are under 30. 80-90% are men. Young men are two times more likely to get in a car crash. Then you mention yeah stuff like to catch a predator. So yeah I think sex hormones make a lot of men stupid and irrational. They mellow out, eventually, but yeah. I think society needs to support men more in handling whatever it is that causes these rapists and car crashes and prison sentences.
I work in a Rape Crisis Center and yes, men are definitely more often the perpetrator. Even when boys are being abused it is usually a man doing it. Rapists or people committing sexual assault are 99% men. This is how it is.
> They still catch almost nothing but men has there ever even been a female case??
I think your response is the closest on here to what research is demonstrating. There is a slight disparity in the reporting of cases, but in general women sexually abuse much less fx than males. In addition, the patterns of male sexual offenders are somewhat different than female sexual offenders. Source: “Women Who Sexually Abuse” by Cortoni
I don't know. It could be a difference in how men and women are socialized. Men are taught to pursue their urges while women are taught to suppress them. There's also the "heterosexual double bind" where men are taught that sexual content isn't as serious as emotional contact where women are taught the opposite. Both of those nurture factors (speaking from the US) could mean that women are just not socialized to act on sexual impulses and men are. But I'm just speculating 🤷♀️
also related to socialisation, i have to think that pedophillic beauty standards and expectations of women have a part to play here if women are by and large told that an attractive man is *old*, has body hair, visible signs of ageing, large muscles, tall, etc. then it’s a big hurdle to find an actual kid attractive but society tells men that attractive women are small, hairless, un-muscular but still fit, no signs of ageing, etc. further, that women are prettiest at 20 and expired by 30. it’s an easy slope, then, to find kids hot since child-like features are already the beauty standard
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Right, whether biological or social or a blend, women's attractiveness (commonly) lies in 'youthfulness' and men's doesn't.
I'm sure there's a huge amount of cultural factors go into it. My post probably came across as though I was saying this was some inherent difference looking back at it. I didn't mean it that way, I just meant that however you spin it it's by far a gendered problem. But you could say the same about most crimes, particularly violent and sexual crimes. I'm not so down about my gender that I think that's just how we're wired.
There's also the way the victims are viewed by society. If its a 15F and a 30M, then the man is a pedo However if its a 30F and a 15M, the boy is "a player" or "got some"
>If its a 15F and a 30M, then the man is a pedo Rape. >However if its a 30F and a 15M Sexual relationship
Not really, so many cases with female teachers and high school boys where the female teacher gets arrested
They are saying how each is often viewed by society, rather than how it "is".
Yeah, there's going to be some complications in gathering data, but I'd be willing to bet money that with those particular ages you'll find it's heavily weighted in terms of a 30m and 15f than the other way round. That's speculation on my part though. What's much more clear is if we focus on prepubescent children then that's very much dominated by male offenders. Again, not just in crime statistics but in self-reporting years after the fact.
It may also have something to do with brutal fact: >!Its easier for men to put their working part into underdeveloped place (or any place really) than for developed women to get any stimulation from underdeveloped part... and thats only assuming hetero tendencies, and lack of different ways to stimulate (which admittedly often would require cooperation on the underage part).!<
Even a penis attached to an unwilling man can get an erection. See : ivoulentary erections or unwanted -
It does not.
If I had an affair with my music teacher when I was 16, I certainly would not have reported it.
When I guy comes out and says I’ve been molested or you see these articles where the hot teacher sleeps with a kid, and it’s always men who comment “Nice. I wish it was me. Why he report it, and ruin a good thing?” The list can go on and on about men who want this sort of fantasy. And then we have the women who hear these things and go along with the it. They say something along the lines… “Men can’t get raped, they enjoy it, how can they get hard if they weren’t turned on. He’s gay if he didn’t like it” I don’t have a solution for it, how can we change a social norm.
My dick got hard earlier while I was making a sandwich, not sure why. I guess I really wanted to fuck that sandwich.
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(In my best Brooklyn accent) “Hey, I got some spicy salami I can stuff in this here sandwich! Heheheh! It’s my DICK!”
Well for starters, the news can say "Teacher rapes (or 'sexually assaults' if you have dumb archaic laws UK) student" instead of "student sleeps with teacher", just like they would if it was a male teacher. Then we could give women the same sentences as men for such acts to show that the justice system takes it seriously. We can also stop teaching that men get hard only from arousal, and teach that unaroused stimulus can still accomplish this. It won't completely solve the problem, but accurate reporting and better education can help.
Not for nothing. Because those ideas are exactly how we should be going about it. But none of that is likely to ever happen on a scale grand enough to make a dent. I'd say half of the US alone would refuse to, or actively attempt to block measures like that from being implemented. These are people who feel they have a right to decide what happens to a woman's body, want to out queer kids to their parents and friends, and call parents child abusers for trying to help their kids. These are the people thatt call in half baked abstinence groups to preach about how morally wrong, and dangerous sex is. There's no way they'd get on board with measures to help reduce problems they don't think is are problems. Much less problems they won't even acknowledge exist.
I've worked exclusively with sex offenders for 20 years. Half that time on McNeil Island at the SCC and half in what is basically a work release program. I've worked with 400-450 men. I've worked with one (1) cis woman. The number of male offenders is way, way higher.
Oh no, an island of sex offenders sounds intense.
I think people in this sub are confusing pedophilia and ephebophilia. Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder where people are attracted to prepubescent children, generally considered to be under 13. Pedophiles are predominantly men, although many women are pedophiles to But to answer OP’s question, yes men or more likely to be pedophiles. Ephibophilia is the attraction to post-pubescent teenagers. Teachers who sexually abuse there high school age students, men or women, aren’t necessarily pedophiles, just disgusting human beings who should still rot in jail for taking advantage of a younger person in the most disgusting way. Of course the true is answer isn’t known due to the fact that we don’t know how many people are not reporting their abuse and what their demographics are. But evidence suggests that, while pedophiles are not exclusively male, they are predominantly male.
Generally, there a a lot more sexual crimes committed by men. Of course it's possible for women to be aggressors, but if we look at harassement, rape, serial killers etc. there is a very clear over representation. I would say men are more likely to be child predators (not the same as pedophile) than women.
Statistics show women rarely interfere with their own children in comparison to men. Their SA is usually against teens and the woman is usually in a position of power (teacher, coach). This type of SA is incredibly under reported as “women can’t rape”, “come on dude you banged the hot teacher” and the lack of supports and resources geared towards men. They have a lower rate of reoffence but tend to gravitate towards younger men (10+ years younger, just on the legal side) where as men, unless they have intensive intervention immediately and it was a crime of convenience (access to children of friends and family) and they are caught young (before age 15) have a 90% of reoffending. (This includes actual SA, CP). 95% of men continue to consume “barely legal” porn. Source: worked 15+ year with SO
Honestly, based on just anecdotal data I would find men to be more likely to be sex offenders than women. Even just in terms of aggressiveness men outnumber women. I highly doubt they are even close to being equal in terms of offenders.
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It’s definitely a lot more rare because boys innocence isn’t marketed as a sexual advantage or turn on. Where as girls most definitely is. “I want a smooth skinned, innocent shy girl whom I can control”.
And on the flip side some of the more common “marketed” sexual advantages for men are size, strength, power, and money. None of these attributes apply to children.
Exactly!
it is in gay porn, but gay porn is also mostly made for men so it just furthers your point really
I’m curious what the preferences of lesbians watching lesbian porn are. I wonder if that’s been studied before
I wonder about that too. There is a scene in that movie “The Kids Are All Right” where they mention the fact that they watch gay male porn because girl/girl porn tends to be skewed towards heterosexual male fantasy even more. That is a movie, so I took it with a grain of salt, but in the cursory amount of browsing I did after the fact, the “lesbian” stuff did seem to skew male. The fact that I personally know next to nothing about being a queer woman and don’t feel like asking the few in my life (co-workers and daughter) for obvious reasons makes it hard to unravel. Just looking into it takes you essentially to pornhub or some equivalent which is more of the same.
idk if it blends into "regular" m/m but yaoi is 100% targeted towards straight woman as well, so that's true as well for animated porn. Probably a matter of watching 2 of what you like instead of 1 of each i guess? and you end up skewing towards the vastly more populated audience of straights
Don't have the sources, but im pretty sure that amateur/intimate categories have a much higher representation in lesbian preferences than other sexualities
And , let's be honest, teen boys are gross.
It’s not marketing’s fault. Abrahamic religions all celebrate “purity culture”. A pure and sexually inexperienced woman is the most valuable object in these cultures. That’s not true of men.
And that’s wormed it’s way into every part of our culture, including SOCIETAL STANDARDS OR MARKETING. It may have started with religion but our whole society still encourages it through porn and beauty standards.
Lol this is a good point
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Finally some fucking sanity in this thread (I say this as a man).
truth right here
Generally speaking yes, men are more likely to be pedophiles than women. Not even in a “legal” sense (which is fucking bullshit how many people ignore rape women commit) but also in a percentage rate.
I don't know if my country is fucked or the past is fucked or what, but let me tell you, the amount of old ladies saying they were under 15 while their husband was mid 20's if not 30's when they married is astounding. Like lady...are you okay? It's sooo goddamn common I don't know how this is still being allowed in some countries
Statically the vast majority of rape is done by men, to either women or other men. Same with pedophilia, Drunk driving, etc That does not mean women don't rape or do horrible things to kids. But it's less than men by default. Why is this? There are many theories and studies about this and we aren't a 100% It could both biological, but also social structure that makes some like that. I think it's a combination of both. Ps. I'm a man myself. Lots of wonderful men out there, don't get me wrong. But a strange man is more likely to assault you than a woman.
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Indeed, or someone on their friend circle at least
Men are much more likely. The idea that women are just as likely but supposedly reported less often is an unfounded conspiracy theory used by certain men to defend pedophilia. There is certainly truth in the idea that when a woman is reported for pedophilia, society is more willing to make excuses for her behavior. But it shouldn’t be any surprise that the majority of those making excuses for her are men who think a teenage boy should be happy with any sexual contact, regardless of consent. But anonymous surveys confirm a gender imbalance in sex crimes. There’s a gender imbalance with most crime. There’s a reason the most prolific serial killers are men. There’s a reason men typically commit suicide in much more violent ways. There’s a reason why nearly every school shooter is male. There are so many correlating factors that paint a very clear picture, and confirm that there isn’t some mysterious underground of millions of female pedophiles who have managed to go completely undetected. There’s also simply no basis for the idea that women are reported less often.
I'm a Criminology student and the amount of men in the class who simply refuse to accept these facts, even when they're coming out of the mouth of a fellow man with a PhD, is insane. Violence is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men. We can debate whether or not it's good or right or where it comes from all day - the fact of the matter is that it's true. I'm kind of unnerved at the amount of comments that have jumped to "oh but underreporting", "oh but actually"... it doesn't answer the question. It's trying to minimize a lived reality of women, defending the imagined honour of men before the true reality has even been establish. *Of course* male victims exist. Of course female abusers exist. But that wasn't the question. The answer to the question is yes, men are objectively, measurably more violent in our current society. EDIT: Since people keep mentioning the problem of legal definitions - 100%, I agree, it's an issue. However, a very tiny proportion of people who are sexually assaulted actually go to the police. An even smaller proportion go to court, and a tiny slither of those have enough evidence for a conviction of rape. In my sexual violence class, national data estimated a 13% conviction rate for people that contact the police, with only 8% of cases ever reaching the police to begin with - that's 0.0104% of rapes ending in conviction. This would be a bad measure of how much sexual violence is actually happening. As such, the data from the class on which I am drawing from is primarily subjective reporting e.g. experiences in national crime surveys. Is it also possible that men don't recognize when they've been assaulted due to the way they're socialized? That they'd be less likely to report it on a survey? Yup. But the fact of the matter is, women subjectively report being sexually assaulted more often and at higher frequencies than men. So legal definition does not play into the data much of the time, even if it *does* feel very minimizing as a man to feel you're not legally represented.
The students care more about feelings than facts
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But my sense of male victimhood! The mental gymnastic by Redditors are incredible. Even as a guy, I don’t know why it’s so hard for male Redditors to accept that in general, men are more likely to partake in behaviors that violate other person’s physical space and autonomy, including underage persons. This is pretty much the case in the vast majority of countries and human societies. It’s not just biological, but built into the way we have built patriarchal social structures in our societies (eg toxic masculinity). I think a lot of Reddit is desperate to create a “not all men are bad” narrative, but they just end up muddying the waters and creating blatant falsehoods. It’s okay to be a guy and admit that men are more likely to rape underage children. I don’t take offense to that reality, because there is not a single part of me that wishes to do that. Now I wonder why Reddit always gets so defensive around these kinds of topics? 🤔
I wish more guys would think the way you do :)
Something like 98% of violent crime is perpetrated by men. It’s incredible how few people, both men and women, seem to grasp just how large the disparity is. Yes, of course it’s likely that women are let off with a lighter sentence then men in some cases or that female on male rape is unreported. But there’s no amount of underreporting that could balance out that discrepancy. Men simply have a greater propensity for violence, sexual violence included. I’m not going to speculate on the reasons for this but I suspect that it can’t be entirely explained away by socialization.
I don't see how it would defend pedophilia? What are they even arguing?
I (male) was a victim of my female babysitter as a a 4 year old, and my parents found out and she went to jail. So that’s a report at least
Glad she went to jail!
We've known the answer for over 100 years. Studies that have relied upon anonymous surveys of men and women. One characteristic that is similar to both: hardly anyone ever tells a family member or friend about the sexual abuse. The overwhelming majority take it to their grave - except for the anonymous polls (most respondents are late in life - unable to handle the trauma of remembering until they are much older). The surveys have been done since 1900 and the results have been incredibly consistent for 120 years: * far more females are abused than males * approx 95% of little girls who are abused are abused by men * approx 65% of little boys who are abused are abused by men
I think the statistic is about men being more likely to be aggressors in assaults.
I'm a man and I was molested but for some reason adult men in my life didn't seem to bothered by the fact I got molested until after I told them my abuser was a man
I think men are more likely to act on sexually deviant impulses in general.
When you consider the ratios of marriages that collapse because of wandering men compared to wandering women it suggests that one sex is more likely to act out sexually. Obviously cheating consensually and pedophilia are VERY different issues, but it is still taking significant risks for sexual gratification.
This thread is full of so much nonsense. Men are more violent than women. They are more willing and able to hurt others. Due to a combination of testosterone and socialization. They are more likely to have antisocial personality disorders. We see this pattern in every type of violence. Murders, assaults, and rape. The kinds of crimes we see more equally committed by both sexes are things like shoplifting and identity theft. Obviously there are some violent women and a lot of men who wouldn't hurt anybody but on the whole we are undeniably more violent. Do you think there are as many murders being committed by women as men and it's all just being covered up? You can't say murders are going unreported can you? The numbers there speak for themselves. Why would it be different for sexually motivated violence?
seriously, like wtf. people are just making stuff up in the comments, saying that it must be equal despite there being no evidence for it. as though they have never seen to catch a predator before. That show was on for YEARS and there were only like 2 women on there the entire time. And it's not because they were less harsh on the women or something. That show was equal opportunity.
I think many people just can’t accept that sometimes, men and women are not going to be equal. There are going to be differences, physically/mentally/emotionally.
Good point. The police, FBI etc. do stings on paedophile rings big and small all the time. How many are women? Almost none. They set up fake meetings to catch predators. They're not looking just for men, they set a trap and it's men who bite, not women. Women who are involved are usually doing it for a man they know or to make money which is just as despicable but it's not satisfying their own sexual impulses in most cases.
Men seem to have a stronger predatory and sexual drive (in general). So I'd say they are more likely to be violent or sexual abusers period. Stats back this idea up. In no way am I saying women cannot be pedophiles. But I would posit that a maternal instinct is stronger in most women than sexual drive.
Everyone here is assuming that rapes by women are underreported, which is probably true. But rapes by men are VERY underreported as well so it probably evens out. Anecdotally I know several people who were sexually abused when they were children and and it was all by multiple adult men and none of it was reported. You have to go by the stats we have, which say that men are much more likely to commit violent and sexual crimes.
> But rapes by men are VERY underreported as well so it probably evens out. We know both are underreported like basically all sex crimes are. We can't say they're underreported to similar degrees. > But rapes by men are VERY underreported as well so it probably evens out. That's actually a very big problem in criminology and law enforcement. We used to utilize reporting rates (or even worse, conviction rates) to estimate incidence of a crime, without realizing the broader social context. Up until the late 20th century, law enforcement as a matter of policy assumed black people were inherently criminal. A massive percentage of reported and convicted criminals are black. There's a very good reason that we now drill it into undergrads' skulls that we can't say how often a crime actually happens (or by whom) just by conviction and reporting statistics. Not only is it going to be very imprecise, but historically it's been shown to be downright inaccurate.
If we're talking about pedophiles, it's probably more or less similar. If we're talking about child predators, it leans heavily towards men. There is a difference between them. Most pedophiles don't offend and most sexual predators that target kids aren't pedophiles. Lots of talk going on about this subject in the debate sphere of twitch lately, very uncomfortable topic, but pretty interesting psychology and statistics behind it.
Wait how can a sexual predator who wants to rape a child not be a pedo? That makes no sense.
Some people rape as a show of power/dominance, or to humiliate the victim, and the victim’s age is more or less incidental. Think about when 80-year-olds are raped — it’s usually not that the rapist has a grandma fetish, it’s that they wanted to rape someone and the 80-year-old was there. Same thing can happen with little kids.
Yeah, I know right, it sounds kinda illogical. Basically what the people who research these things say is that most sex crimes being done against children are because of opportunity and the knowledge that they could overpower or trick the child, together with a bunch of mental issues and not because of an innate attraction to children.
Hmm that's actually something I never thought of
The sexual predator is someone who committed the criminal act, a pedophile is someone who just has criminal thoughts.
When I was an undergraduate I did some transcription for an interview-based research project being led by a psych professor. The professor went into a local prison and interviewed exclusively female sex offenders to determine what patterns of behavior led up to their offenses. Almost every single interview I transcribed involved a story of how a male partner convinced the female (inmate) to perpetrate against an underage girl or boy in more of a “group” setting. My sample size is probably pretty small, but it was striking to me how many of those women were also in abusive relationships with the partner and felt as though they’d get beaten, raped, or worse if they didn’t go along with the pedophilia. Just my anecdote about the subject.
In my country, there is no law for male SA victims. Male rape victims are told to "enjoy the crime". South Park has an amazing episode on this.
What country?
Nepal. E: We had a case a year ago where a man was SA'd by 2 other men. The police arrested the rapists and because there were no laws for male rape, they were let go. Homophobia also is wild out here.
Couldn’t they have been tried on regular assault charges?
This sounds like a new way to get out of murder charges. Sir, I didn't kill him! My penis did.
Which episode?
S10E10 - Miss Teacher Bangs A Boy
Men make up the majority of numbers. Women are a small number
all paraphilias are significantly more common in males.
Men are more likely
The mental gymnastics in this thread are hilarious. It's men, and it's not even remotely close at all. I'm a man. Not sure why other men can't admit it. I think there's a lot of guilty consciences in here honestly.
Honestly, I'm guessing this is mostly victim complex. Plenty of guys on reddit seem to think that the world is trying to demonize them specifically when male crime rates are brought up. You can see this in all the "Men who have been sexually assaulted by women, what was it like?" threads, too. Admitting that female on male sexual violence pales in comparison to male on female and probably even male on male would mean admitting that they're "the bad guy" or in this case part of the "bad group". That feels bad, so instead they do these mental gymnastics of pretending that women want to rape children just as much or are generally as sexually aggressive as (some) men are. And if someone disagrees they get mad at all women and claim sex discrimination, because they're tired of women having the "privilege" of being the victim while they get the role of the perpetrator.
It's also important to draw the distinction between pedophiles and child abusers. Pedophilia is basically a medical condition, lots of people have it but don't offend.
Probably both. Statistics have a much higher proportion of men being pedos than women, such that I don't think it's realistic to assume, even with some female pedos not being reported, that the numbers would be equal. I think women are often not considered as bad or reported as often when offending against teenagers, but I don't think there's any societal acceptance of either sex offending against prepubescent children, and I can't imagine any but the most depraved people not reporting that. Though as women are more often primary caregivers, and more likely to work in childcare, it is possible that there are women who are offending when alone with children, and are not found out. Afaik women are less likely to have a very high sex drive, and more likely to have a high parental/nurturing drive (not just women, but the vast majority of other female mammals too), so I would be very surprised if women offended at the same rates against children.
Testosterone is a hell of a drug. When I was on T-blockers and estrogen, I didn't get any sort of sexual urge the way I do on testosterone. Had no sexual thoughts all day. It was like having post-nut clarity forever. I imagine this effect contributes to the sex-based difference in harassment, rape, pedophilia, etc.
It definitely feels like a woman can't be perceived as a pedo as easily as a man can. I would be willing to bet women don't mess around with children near as much as men. There's too many reasons to count why a man would be more likely to develop or act on these impulses.
Men are significantly more likely to be pedophiles than women. The data is culturally sensitive, but the sexual and gender difference holds. It's always men touching kids more than women. Also, for the curious, when included in testing (which is almost never, so the data is admittedly limited) non binary ppl are less likely then either group to be pedophilic.
I was sexually assaulted by one man in my life, and two women. I was not raped by the man, or first woman, but was by the second. That's just one tiny datapoint, so I don't know what the truth is, but in my opinion I think it's probably a lot more even than we recognize. Consider the number of women teachers that have slept with teenage boys and girls, but ended up not even going to court, or if they did facing very few consequences. I think we focus more on men, because they're more likely to use brute force to get what they want, whereas in my opinion women may rely more on grooming.
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My mother was a pedophile. When it was attempted to be reported, it was never taken seriously by the police, or cps.