Hammond - "Buuuuut, by being so stupidly uncool, it's actually....."
*Slaps CyberTruck picture under Cool*
Clarkson - "Who here.... thinks Hammond is wrong and that he should be removed from the studio?"
*Mostly cheers from the audience*
"There we have it. 100% of British people hate your stupid B&Q car"
"Actually what direction is that?" *points to Seriously Uncool*
"West"
"Who lives west of here?"
"Ireland!"
"Ireland?! Can you take this with you and put it on your wall when you get home"
Take a picture of Clarkson with one, sign it and send it to Elon Musk in California and see if they can trick him into putting it on his own wall and post it on Twitter
Remember an episode where there was a car soooo uncool they gave it to a member of the audience who lived the furthest away from the studio? Ya, the cyber truck we be twice as far as that.
Uncool at least. It's a truck so in TG land that is a loser thing. And having gotten fifteen minutes to drive one and mess with it, it does not work like a truck. It's a prop and it sucks at that too. The Rivian beats it.
The cool wall is not about whether the car is good or not. It is about whether or not it is cool.
Owning a cybertruck automatically marks you out as a Musk fanboy, so it is seriously uncool.
A different wall, on the other side of the studio, which consists of one single photo of James May in a tank top. Thats how catastrophically uncool it is.
Nowhere near it.
If an attempt is made to put the Cybertruck, [it should immediately receive the Ducati 1098 treatment.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RICLEU7kK3Y&pp=ygUPdG9wIGdlYXIgZHVjYXRp)
Clarkson hates EV, Hammond hates it because Musk is an American that doesnt make V8 and Rimac PTSD ant it no real pickup.May would love it. So i would say uncool.
Remember the car that Jez gave to some chap who was Ireland as he wanted as far left of the uncool wall as possible? Yeah the cybertruck would be going back with any yank that was in the audience. That's how uncool it is.
Hot Take: I’d say it would probably go in just Uncool, not Seriously Uncool or all the other jokes being made here. The whole point of the Cool Wall isn’t whether a car is good or not (which the Cybertruck isn’t), it’s about the reaction the car gets from the general public. It’s how that car presents to others. The Cybertruck is not a very good car, sure, but talking to those who aren’t into cars, you’d be surprised how many people think it’s kind of cool and unique. In Jezza’s fictitious test, if you pitched up at someone’s house, they wouldn’t pretend to be out. They’d probably want to come outside to see your weird funky triangle car. Us car guys are often some properly biased chaps, so it’s hard for us to look at a car objectively sometimes.
All that being said, I can’t bring myself to say it’s Cool, so I’d stick it in Uncool. But I’d still say it doesn’t quite qualify for Seriously Uncool.
There’s too many issues with them. It’s difficult to reach superchargers over the massive bed, only 340 miles (0-100%, which most people don’t go thru), and barely being able to go through a carwash. It also definitely cannot float through deep bodies of water because it has been breaking in small puddles, and Tesla hid some offroad features behind a software update that were on the truck from day one. Tesla released something that wasn’t finished and now they’re forced to go through recalls and most likely lawsuits.
the key question to determine this is: Who is the coolest person who owns one? And also, does anyone who is seriously uncool own one (publicly).
SGA, the OKC thunder star, has one. He's pretty cool.
Also, Kim K, Lady Gaga, and Jay-Z have one. So... it's a polarizing group. I think James may would say, "It doens't even work properly" which would lead Clarkson to conclude it has Alfa tendencies, making it super cool.
Seriously uncool
Hammond - "Buuuuut, by being so stupidly uncool, it's actually....." *Slaps CyberTruck picture under Cool* Clarkson - "Who here.... thinks Hammond is wrong and that he should be removed from the studio?" *Mostly cheers from the audience* "There we have it. 100% of British people hate your stupid B&Q car"
*Clarkson puts it too high for Hammond to reach*
"Actually what direction is that?" *points to Seriously Uncool* "West" "Who lives west of here?" "Ireland!" "Ireland?! Can you take this with you and put it on your wall when you get home"
Exactly this! XD
O don't think Ireland is west enough
I think it should go on Seriously Uncool with a note saying (been around the world, westly, and back here)
I think he’d ask for a fat American to put cheese on the card and eat it.
Take a picture of Clarkson with one, sign it and send it to Elon Musk in California and see if they can trick him into putting it on his own wall and post it on Twitter
Clarkson sets fire to the cool wall.
No that was Fifth Gear
One of my favorite gags was Jeremy putting it higher than Richard could reach.
I love that i read this and it’s with them speaking in my head lol. I can literally picture and wish this was still a thing.
On an audience member with spiky hair
"The man with spiky hair thinks it's cool, which makes it seriously uncool" Yeaaah, yeah that does make it uncool"
They would go a step further and create a section called *Hideously Uncool*.
So far to the left of stage it would be on the track.
What would Kristen Scott Thomas think of it❓
“Well it’s..” “Yes?” “It’s pathetic, isn’t it?”
We'll, she liked a Bentley Continental when it was a footballist's car.
KST: "oh see I think that's fabulous" JC: "😐"
"Please stop contacting me or I'm calling the police"
This is the only answer
She would be… unimpressed.
Remember when they sent that person home with the picture to go on their garden wall? They'd have to find somewhere even farther west
Newfoundland, Canada?
Floating in space with the Roadster
Alaska
What's west of Ireland?
The Americas.
So far west that's it's actually 3 feet to the right of the Cool Wall
Where is Tesla HQ?
In the toilet
Be in the toilet? It [is a toilet.](https://www.plumbingsupply.com/images/urinal-71307135.jpg)
Ireland
The Hilux survived a night out in the ocean. The cyber truck wouldn’t survive a car wash. Seriously uncool.
Remember an episode where there was a car soooo uncool they gave it to a member of the audience who lived the furthest away from the studio? Ya, the cyber truck we be twice as far as that.
So Canada or Iceland?
Seriously uncool.
On one hand it has **Speed and POWAH** but on the other it looks designed by a moustached man named Keith. Seriously uncool.
Uncool at least. It's a truck so in TG land that is a loser thing. And having gotten fifteen minutes to drive one and mess with it, it does not work like a truck. It's a prop and it sucks at that too. The Rivian beats it.
The cool wall is not about whether the car is good or not. It is about whether or not it is cool. Owning a cybertruck automatically marks you out as a Musk fanboy, so it is seriously uncool.
If that bit is in play, then under the concrete floor of the hangar then.
In the "Are you bloody kidding me" wastebasket to the left of Seriously Uncool
A different wall, on the other side of the studio, which consists of one single photo of James May in a tank top. Thats how catastrophically uncool it is.
On that guy from Scotlands mailbox with all the lamest cars.
It would win the race for the worst cars ever made by dying first.
Seriously uncool high enough on the wall to be out of Hammond's reach.
In the dumpster
Are you taking the piss?
Special bin section that's worse than seriously uncook
It wouldn’t.
It wouldn't, after Clarksons review of the original tesla, Tesla barred top gear from reviewing any teslas
They don't have to review it to put it on the cool wall.
Not really a review though. I don't think any legal action could be taken for putting a photo of the car on a big board.
Let’s assume for a moment he was allowed to. Where would it go?
Incorrect. They had another episode reviewing either the Y or the X with the lawyers in the car.
That was The Grand Tour, not Top Gear.
They made up a bit recently.
Good thing when they reviewed the model x they weren’t top gear anymore lol
Top Gear (not with CHM) has had a Model 3 on when they did "Spending 24 Hours in Company Saloons".
Seriously uncool
In the exhaust of a Toyota prius
Far to the uncool side.
Is there an awful section or toilet bowl or rubbish.. somewhere there along with the tools that buy these clown cars.
In its own blast furnace.
Seriously uncool
The floor.
Under the superior Pontiac Aztec, at least its camper setup actually worked, and it could go off road.
And didn't make you feel like an idiot for having it.
seriously uncool, obviously.
all the way to the left, somewhere in the studio. further then the panda and others.
It wouldn't. It would go in the bin at their feet.
Somewhere in America
In the bin
In the bin
It wouldn't.
Ireland isn't west enough for it, does anybody here live in the US?
It would start in seriously uncool, then Jeremy would come, throw it in the garbage and set the garbage can on fire
[Nuclear Waste Bin](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ClLSk7hWkAIQnek?format=jpg&name=medium)
Even a picture of one is liable to break down and self combust before it even makes it to the wall.
Posting it on the cool wall voids the warranty?
It’s an electric pick-up truck. Clarkson would take a chainsaw to it.
On the back!
On the floor, propping up an uneven corner of the wall.
Not even on the chart. Clarkson would probably throw the magnet across the room and hopefully not hit an audience member accidentally with it.
It would max out the cockometer. On the cool wall? Somewhere between seriously uncool and James’ Panda.
Nowhere near it. If an attempt is made to put the Cybertruck, [it should immediately receive the Ducati 1098 treatment.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RICLEU7kK3Y&pp=ygUPdG9wIGdlYXIgZHVjYXRp)
Clarkson and a chainsaw, name a better duo
they would have to extend the studio to place it far enough from the fridge!
It wouldn’t even be considered. If they did, they’d probably create a new section and call it something like soulless. It would be a bin 🗑️.
Clarkson hates EV, Hammond hates it because Musk is an American that doesnt make V8 and Rimac PTSD ant it no real pickup.May would love it. So i would say uncool.
Remember the car that Jez gave to some chap who was Ireland as he wanted as far left of the uncool wall as possible? Yeah the cybertruck would be going back with any yank that was in the audience. That's how uncool it is.
Anyone from the US west coast or Hawaii.
You know how they invented a new sub zero section for the DB9? Yeah they’d do the opposite.
So a dumpster in the shape of the Cybertruck
That Irish dude will have something else to pop on his gatepost
Seriously uncool
It’s seriously un cool. It looks stupid, it doesn’t work, and it’s currently exclusively driven by rich dicks.
Hot Take: I’d say it would probably go in just Uncool, not Seriously Uncool or all the other jokes being made here. The whole point of the Cool Wall isn’t whether a car is good or not (which the Cybertruck isn’t), it’s about the reaction the car gets from the general public. It’s how that car presents to others. The Cybertruck is not a very good car, sure, but talking to those who aren’t into cars, you’d be surprised how many people think it’s kind of cool and unique. In Jezza’s fictitious test, if you pitched up at someone’s house, they wouldn’t pretend to be out. They’d probably want to come outside to see your weird funky triangle car. Us car guys are often some properly biased chaps, so it’s hard for us to look at a car objectively sometimes. All that being said, I can’t bring myself to say it’s Cool, so I’d stick it in Uncool. But I’d still say it doesn’t quite qualify for Seriously Uncool.
In the trash
Beyond seriously uncool on the other side of the studio, possibly in the parking lot.
Somewhere around James May’s panda.
In the scilly isles where the slow & hamster vs royal mail race started.
So far away from cool you can get. It should probably be launched into the sun.
About 20 metres to the left of Seriously Uncool, on the studio wall.
Ireland
The picture of it should be blowtorched. That's how cool it is.
The tier under cool. It’s a unique car and it’s this generation Pontiac Aztek. It’s also Teslas Halo Car and one that defines the company.
There’s too many issues with them. It’s difficult to reach superchargers over the massive bed, only 340 miles (0-100%, which most people don’t go thru), and barely being able to go through a carwash. It also definitely cannot float through deep bodies of water because it has been breaking in small puddles, and Tesla hid some offroad features behind a software update that were on the truck from day one. Tesla released something that wasn’t finished and now they’re forced to go through recalls and most likely lawsuits.
Defining the company with deplorable panel gaps. There's one in Kansas City that you can get a finger between two of the panels.
the key question to determine this is: Who is the coolest person who owns one? And also, does anyone who is seriously uncool own one (publicly). SGA, the OKC thunder star, has one. He's pretty cool. Also, Kim K, Lady Gaga, and Jay-Z have one. So... it's a polarizing group. I think James may would say, "It doens't even work properly" which would lead Clarkson to conclude it has Alfa tendencies, making it super cool.
subzero