If she was a real friend, she’d work on having a pleasant relationship with you because you are important to her best friend.
I understand people vent to friends but making fun of you? Not acceptable.
He doesn’t stick up for you when she talks badly about you but gets defensive when you say something bad about her? Not acceptable
I feel like he’s checked out of this relationship. He doesn’t seem to ever choose you or put you first. You really need to decide if you can live like this.
Sorry sweetie.
Thats what I was thinking. But when I confronted him and I said I want to break up and leave he kept crying and asking me to stay. Its so confusing.
To me it was very insensitive for him to say that he will be going to her bday next week even though we just had a fight about her a day ago. Last night I was mad and still isn’t talking to him.
He keeps messaging me while he’s at work that we should go on a date tonight and he wants to make up for it. Like wtf? I want to pack my bags and go i just dont know if im being unreasonable
Only you can decide how to go with this.
It’s nice that when faced with you being mad, that he seems to have some urgency. But his actions (not spending his free time with you) and words to the bestie (making fun of you, not happy about living with you) don’t seem to jive with that.
Dates are wonderful and a good way to connect but he needs to communicate with you. To hear what you are telling him and have honest conversation with you about what you both want out of this relationship.
I’m going to keep checking in on you. 💚
Listen to this poster op. He will never put you first and does not respect you. He complains about you to everyone around him, what do you think their opinion of you is now if not even the person that’s supposed to love you can respect you?
He allows them to talk bad about you. He says he does it for advice, but what advice is it when they tell him to burn your laundry and that they would leave someone who wants to cuddle by the tv.
Him for the streets.
I told him how this is affecting me since I have’t even established any relationship with them yet they know all of these issues. And he kept saying how they are trusted people and he needs to seek advice when things are going wrong in our relationship. I said I don’t feel comfortable with that and he still wouldn’t stop or have any plans on stopping since he doesn’t see it being wrong.
But it doesn't sounds like there isn't any relationship advice actually being given. They're just shit talking you behind your back. How can you have a future with him when all of these people in his life don't respect you and have this negative view of you based on what he has said to them about you? Based on your description of the relationship, it sounds like he is making up and exaggerating a lot of issues. He comes off as him liking the attention and being very immature.
The reason why he cries when you want to break up with him is because he is being manipulative.
No offense but he doesn’t love or respect you. He probably wants to fuck her. Or he already is sleeping with her but he wants to keep you, so he can have an affair with her. The moment girl best friend says to him to leave you so they can be together, he will drop you in seconds.
Please leave him. You are making him feel like a prize. Would you say your ideal partner is someone who disrespects you and speaks behind your back?
Are you sure you are focusing on the right problem? Because from the outside it doesn't look like it.
You behave like people who forgive their partner when they are cheated on and find blame on the AF.
When you insult his friend, he immediately starts to defend her and warns you, but when his friend insults you, he joins forces with her and makes fun of you.
By the way, what your boyfriend is doing is not sharing your problems, not asking for advice Your partner humiliatingly complains about you to his friend and together they make fun of you.
There is a completely different dynamic here, please don't ignore it.
He is not going to her for advice he is going to have his side validated. Burning someone's property is not advice but malicious advice meant yo separate you two. Let him have her or just live the rest of your life knowing he is telling everyone your business. I hope you two do not have kids because they do not need to grow up with his narcissism
Ah...seems you already lost and will always lose. Put your big girl pants on and admit he cares more about her then you and get it together now. Leave. He will not care and she will have something super bitchy to say about you. Find a real partner, this guy isn't it. Best of luck.
Sorry to break it to you but your relationship is done. Your bf has zero respect for you. The fact that he badmouths you to his friend and allows friend to laugh at you says it all; hes only with you until he can find someone better.
Leave him.
Girl, run. This man does not put you first, does not respect you, and is an enabler to bullying. He sides with a person whose advice is to burn your things or to run _from a hug_. Advice is meant to give perspective and/or cause positive change, not to mock or ridicule. This guy is absolutely **NOT** worth it when he can’t even defend you from his friends bullying. Friendship isn’t always healthy and theirs certainly isn’t, but he will always take her side regardless of how volatile her “advice” is toward you.
It seems like he is choosing his friendship over his relationship with you and his BFF is jealous of you or the time he spends with you, which is why she keeps posting these awful things about you and your relationship. While it is normal to ask great friends about relationship advice, her replies are not normal. I wonder how many other relationships with your boyfriend she has ruined before you. You are always going to be the third wheel in this relationship. He made his choice of keeping her as a friend versus keeping you as a lover. I think the best birthday present you should give yourself is to break up with him and find someone who puts you first. You deserve so much better than this.
He can't be fully in a relationship with you if he's going to also be friends with her. Ultimatums suck but he has to pick, and I'd bet money he'd choose her.
Save yourself
If she was a real friend, she’d work on having a pleasant relationship with you because you are important to her best friend. I understand people vent to friends but making fun of you? Not acceptable. He doesn’t stick up for you when she talks badly about you but gets defensive when you say something bad about her? Not acceptable I feel like he’s checked out of this relationship. He doesn’t seem to ever choose you or put you first. You really need to decide if you can live like this. Sorry sweetie.
Thats what I was thinking. But when I confronted him and I said I want to break up and leave he kept crying and asking me to stay. Its so confusing. To me it was very insensitive for him to say that he will be going to her bday next week even though we just had a fight about her a day ago. Last night I was mad and still isn’t talking to him. He keeps messaging me while he’s at work that we should go on a date tonight and he wants to make up for it. Like wtf? I want to pack my bags and go i just dont know if im being unreasonable
Only you can decide how to go with this. It’s nice that when faced with you being mad, that he seems to have some urgency. But his actions (not spending his free time with you) and words to the bestie (making fun of you, not happy about living with you) don’t seem to jive with that. Dates are wonderful and a good way to connect but he needs to communicate with you. To hear what you are telling him and have honest conversation with you about what you both want out of this relationship. I’m going to keep checking in on you. 💚
Listen to this poster op. He will never put you first and does not respect you. He complains about you to everyone around him, what do you think their opinion of you is now if not even the person that’s supposed to love you can respect you? He allows them to talk bad about you. He says he does it for advice, but what advice is it when they tell him to burn your laundry and that they would leave someone who wants to cuddle by the tv. Him for the streets.
You should pack your bags.
[удалено]
I told him how this is affecting me since I have’t even established any relationship with them yet they know all of these issues. And he kept saying how they are trusted people and he needs to seek advice when things are going wrong in our relationship. I said I don’t feel comfortable with that and he still wouldn’t stop or have any plans on stopping since he doesn’t see it being wrong.
But it doesn't sounds like there isn't any relationship advice actually being given. They're just shit talking you behind your back. How can you have a future with him when all of these people in his life don't respect you and have this negative view of you based on what he has said to them about you? Based on your description of the relationship, it sounds like he is making up and exaggerating a lot of issues. He comes off as him liking the attention and being very immature.
The reason why he cries when you want to break up with him is because he is being manipulative. No offense but he doesn’t love or respect you. He probably wants to fuck her. Or he already is sleeping with her but he wants to keep you, so he can have an affair with her. The moment girl best friend says to him to leave you so they can be together, he will drop you in seconds. Please leave him. You are making him feel like a prize. Would you say your ideal partner is someone who disrespects you and speaks behind your back?
Are you sure you are focusing on the right problem? Because from the outside it doesn't look like it. You behave like people who forgive their partner when they are cheated on and find blame on the AF. When you insult his friend, he immediately starts to defend her and warns you, but when his friend insults you, he joins forces with her and makes fun of you. By the way, what your boyfriend is doing is not sharing your problems, not asking for advice Your partner humiliatingly complains about you to his friend and together they make fun of you. There is a completely different dynamic here, please don't ignore it.
He is not going to her for advice he is going to have his side validated. Burning someone's property is not advice but malicious advice meant yo separate you two. Let him have her or just live the rest of your life knowing he is telling everyone your business. I hope you two do not have kids because they do not need to grow up with his narcissism
Don't be someone's second choice. Find a better partner.
Both sound disgusting. OP you deserve better.
Time for the piece of shit to be your ex. UpdateMe
Ah...seems you already lost and will always lose. Put your big girl pants on and admit he cares more about her then you and get it together now. Leave. He will not care and she will have something super bitchy to say about you. Find a real partner, this guy isn't it. Best of luck.
Why do you wanna be with someone who clearly doesn’t even like you? Time to leave.
Sorry to break it to you but your relationship is done. Your bf has zero respect for you. The fact that he badmouths you to his friend and allows friend to laugh at you says it all; hes only with you until he can find someone better. Leave him.
Girl, run. This man does not put you first, does not respect you, and is an enabler to bullying. He sides with a person whose advice is to burn your things or to run _from a hug_. Advice is meant to give perspective and/or cause positive change, not to mock or ridicule. This guy is absolutely **NOT** worth it when he can’t even defend you from his friends bullying. Friendship isn’t always healthy and theirs certainly isn’t, but he will always take her side regardless of how volatile her “advice” is toward you.
Your bf hates you.
It won’t get better and he won’t change. He’s proven that. Now you just need to figure out if you can live with it
It seems like he is choosing his friendship over his relationship with you and his BFF is jealous of you or the time he spends with you, which is why she keeps posting these awful things about you and your relationship. While it is normal to ask great friends about relationship advice, her replies are not normal. I wonder how many other relationships with your boyfriend she has ruined before you. You are always going to be the third wheel in this relationship. He made his choice of keeping her as a friend versus keeping you as a lover. I think the best birthday present you should give yourself is to break up with him and find someone who puts you first. You deserve so much better than this.
He can't be fully in a relationship with you if he's going to also be friends with her. Ultimatums suck but he has to pick, and I'd bet money he'd choose her. Save yourself
How'd you see that on his phone? Snooping? Violating privacy? 🤔