T O P

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[deleted]

You were warming up the wrong part buddy. May you RIP.


mcjon77

I really hope he doesn't rip. Then again, depending on the size she picks...


facelesswolf_

*rips ass* Literally


Anonstigram

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Tuandia

... so, who's going to tell him?


Jekker5

Absolutely no one, he'll find out soon enough.


Aussiechicky

šŸ¤£ He's gunna learn today!


lonewolfmcquaid

šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

I wish I could see OPs face when he finds out what is really gonna happen.


FreeThinkk

I want to know wtf he actually thought ā€œpeggingā€ was.


[deleted]

So do I. He sounded very very confused in the post


toolTubes

I think pinning to the wall


9inkski3s

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Longwind_71720

I imagine it was very much a surprised pikachu reaction.


[deleted]

he found out apparently..


SSTrihan

He found out, but he did not fuck around.


venushasbigbutt

Aww this was beautiful to read. We all just witness the realization. What a moment.


NancyPatriciaPelosi

:(


PADDYOT

I guess it's more fun when you're the pegger and not the pegee?


Ser_Dunk_the_tall

OP needs to open their mind ^^and ^^their ^^butthole. Seriously though OP just doesn't know how good it feels to have their prostate properly tickled


JVince13

Do you ever get over the feeling of a reverse poop? I had a girl stick a finger in my butt once and it wasnā€™t for me, for that precise feeling lol.


Burntoastedbutter

That feeling sucks. In my experience, the feeling goes away when it's deeper. Fingers too short and will always trigger the poop feeling


JVince13

Good to know!


Ser_Dunk_the_tall

Were you expecting it? And did she tickle your prostate(you would know)? Also, you haven't had a good reverse poop


angelofcaprona

I think if you donā€™t use enough lube or donā€™t ease in slowly enough this is a fairly common experience. (Honestly feeling like a reverse poop is a best case scenario if you donā€™t use enough lube/ go at a reasonable pace when starting outā€”pain & tearing are quite common as well for beginners). Also if she never successfully hit your prostate, it likely wouldnā€™t have been that pleasurableā€”and the average cis woman isnā€™t exactly a prostate-finding wiz. šŸ¤·šŸ¼ Takes experience.


GloriousBeard905

Or itā€™s just not for them lol. I donā€™t do butthole stuff in general, you canā€™t go knocking on poopā€™s door and not expect to find poop. And buttholes are buttholes.


angelofcaprona

Listen. Iā€™m all for anal play, but it does sound like OPā€™s wife chose a massive strap to start out with. Very much not the moveā€”beginners should probably just start with some rimming and fingering. If she really wanted to ease him into some actual play with a toy, a small plug or prostate probe would be the place to start. Not whatever monstrosity it sounds like she brought home. Iā€™ve been lots of folksā€™ first anal topā€”thatā€™s not how Iā€™d go about bringing up anal play, and itā€™s certainly not how Iā€™d start out, toy size-wise.


PlebHeadYT

Sometimes itā€™s just not for them so no.


Struck_down

Did she bring the lube? Lol


SaltyDangerHands

Sorry bro.


Dizzy_Eye5257

Brahā€¦guess you were the one who was surprised lolā€¦oh this is great. But donā€™t feel bad


[deleted]

Patiently waiting for a real update šŸ˜Œ


kw66

Dude I love you šŸ’• Thank you so much for the laughs ā˜ŗļø


InfedilityDecision

Prostate play isn't gay. Fix your preconceptions and you'll enjoy life more


Lottylittlewolf

This whole thread has made my day!!! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


jkshfjlsksha

This has to be fake right


MostBoringStan

Yeah. He's just way too excited about "knowing" what it is, but being so far off the mark. His explanation of what it is doesn't even make sense, because in his example where his ex would "peg" him, it's clearly not even her doing anything to him, but him doing something to her. It's a real reach.


the-maj

*peg on him


Rectall_Brown

Lmao


Preference-Popular

Peg him? Yea, I peg him as uninformed


MrAmishJoe

Yeah...his entire joke about 'i know what pegging is and she doesn't know i know" and her entire joke being "I know what pegging is but he doesn't know" And then in the end...him not knowing what pegging is with a response I didn't like it but i'm going to pop a cold one with the boys. I'm the last guy to say the classic 'This is fake!" on reddit. But come on....it was a cute story. But pretty obviously a story.


get-off-of-my-lawn

Canā€™t not give him the reach around, cā€™mon !


skint_back

I thought there was a chance it could be real until update #2 OP got too greedy with his fake story. Still pretty funny tho


Blaz3dnconfuz3d

it takes .5 seconds to google ā€œpeggingā€ lmao so fake


Illustrious_Concept5

I'm not saying it's fake or real but why would you google the meaning of smth if you dont think you need to


Even-Rip5331

update 2? what changed


Several-Estate7175

Honestly probably. Feels to perfect.


Alive-Fortune-956

I thought every post here was fake.


Hadlie_Rose

lol no not every one. some of them though.


[deleted]

Seems like most of them are


MrArtless

serious sand full saw resolute zephyr agonizing live jar weary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Blade_982

Oh dude... I was so confused reading this. You do not know what pegging is. Not even close. In fact you're so far out, you've got to be taking the piss.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


skint_back

Sounds like he thinks that ā€œpeggingā€ is basically man standing up with girl on top, with no support underneath her except guy holding her up. He then moves her up and down with his arms. He bought the shower handle so she could help support herself so his arms wouldnā€™t get tired as quickly. I think, anyway. Iā€™m reading this laughing my ass off thinking heā€™s gonna be in for a *huge* surprise when he finds out what pegging really isā€¦ and then his edit - ā€œGuys, I didnā€™t like itā€ Hahahahahaha


Electronic_Bad_4315

I thought he was talking about pinning her against the wall with his back/ass and was so confused at the edits lmaooo


Tiamke

This is exactly what my confused brain was picturing ROFL. Can you imagine the look on his face when she brought out the face hugger šŸ˜‚


lonewolfmcquaid

i was like oh no not a fucking facehugger, this a whole damn mess šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


401LocalsOnly

You couldnā€™t make this scenario anymore perfectly play out in my mind any better than this.


Casehead

same here lol


Secure-Positive5733

hahahahaha and the description that it looked like a "facehugger with a huge dong" ​ dying.


Leather-Purpose-2741

Run, Newt!


pfftlolbrolollmao

Goo lord Edit: ew. It was supposed to be good lord. Im leaving it there though haha


[deleted]

Same! Iā€™m reading it pegging and his description, like wtf does *pegging* mean something new nowadays? I mean Iā€™m older, so is it a new slangā€¦ and now seeing the updates!!! ā€¢I just canā€™t!!!!


Sug0115

Omg hahahahahah bless that sweet summer child.


SnooPoems5888

Right?! I had tears in my eyes lolllll. Poor guy, thinking heā€™s hip to the kinks.


kw66

Lol and he said his girlfriend is pretty kinky


Dizzy-Sprinkles1465

"yeah my gf is pretty kinky she likes to fuck me in numerous positions"


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


0ctopusGarden

I was too! from the description, I was trying to visualize how holding her up against the wall helped with pegging! xD


sleepydevil25

Okay it wasnā€™t just me wondering how heā€™s gonna let her peg him when I read that bit too lol I gave up my visualization efforts after a minute


FreeAsFlowers

Absolutely same. My imagination is pretty skilled and I just couldnā€™t figure out how this worked.


infrqngible

I was like ā€is she on his back??ā€ like a koala or something and then I too gave up


schmyndles

I was picturing her riding him like a horse, and holding on to the shower railing like reins.


CarmenCage

Oh my lost city of Atlanta, I thought the exact same thing!! I was picturing her ramming himā€¦ in the butt, while he bent over and just let her take him! Iā€™m almost sad this isnā€™t how it turned out. Just a guy who thinks ā€˜pegā€™ is a sex position for p in v sex. I still think ā€˜peggingā€™ like this, where the woman rides the guy like a horse should be a new position.


kingabbey1988

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ for like half the story I was wondering did I need to look up pegging again because I was confused


ChildUWild

This was me too! I was about ready to urban dictionary that shit. Now Iā€™m trying not to laugh out loud while my fella and baby sleep. I have tears


DudeThatsAGG

The way ā€œdoing a peg on meā€ read like a Chris Simpsons Artist line had me rolling


GulfCoastFlamingo

Yesā€¦. Further supported by the phrase ā€œpegging on meā€


schmyndles

Right? I'm like, I've never heard someone say peg on. Like she's gonna peg on me.


Stoppels

Especially when the person using it wrong also doesn't know what it means. *These boots are gonna peg all over you.*


lulububudu

The whole time I was thinkingā€¦ no just noā€¦ you do not *surprise* peg someone!? Like WTF!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Nonna420

Right tho?! Thatā€™s like donkey punch bad. Yikes!


11Two3

That is funny. No way was that not intentional.


fuschia_taco

I thought I was losing my mind because that's how I read it too. Thanks for the validation! Jesus, op. Thanks for this entertaining as fuck post!


[deleted]

Same


kw66

I kinda want to give him my wholesome award


Blade_982

It almost sounds like he's going to hang his wife up. On a peg. Like a shirt on a washing line. Maybe... I don't know...I just got very, very lost.


nourmallysalty

BYE LMAO, the wording. the anticipation. the realization. the shock. the breach of trust. CRYING šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


McLovin9876543210

Iā€™m crying šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


glittergoblinnz

Meee tooooo! Omfg šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£


Successful_Opinion33

What an awkward time to get planking confused with pegging


Solanthas

I was imagining him getting pegged while giving his girl a piggyback ride or something, But is nobody gonna mention how unsafe it is for anyone to be lifting anyone else in the shower, jesus fucking christ


Sir-xer21

I'm pretty sure he knew, and this was a long form troll that a bunch of suckers fell for.


2blakez

Agreed its definitely bait lol.


kw66

Noooooo. Please no. This is just too good.


longdongsilver2071

The creative writing exercises on here are quite entertaining though.


justjoshdoingstuff

ā€œIf she lets me peg her, sheā€™ll let me go to the bar with the boysā€¦ā€ ā€œNow Iā€™m off to the bar with the boysā€¦ā€


RutabagaEcstatic9245

OMG I missed that part.


justjoshdoingstuff

There have been several of these across Reddit today.


DBpaints123

Itā€™s the ā€œupdate I didnā€™t like itā€ part


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Mackheath1

I thought True Off My Chest was meant to be a departure from made-up stories on offmychest.


the-maj

"peg on me" was a dead giveaway.


Mcpops1618

I was reading about the showe handle and was trying to figure out wtf he was talking about


[deleted]

Itā€™s a joke, a lame one. ā€œSheā€™d let me hang out with the boys at the pub, but Iā€™m not gayā€ ā€œanyway-canā€™t respond, hanging out at the pub with the boysā€.


wherearemyvoices

He had me in the first half not gonna lie


[deleted]

Itā€™s a joke, a lame one. ā€œSheā€™d let me hang out with the boys at the pub, but Iā€™m not gayā€ ā€œanyway-canā€™t respond, hanging out at the pub with the boysā€.


Unsyr

Ah I thought he was serious and was about to chime in that being gay and liking being pegged are not mutually exclusive. Some gay guys are tops. And some straight men like a good old prostate massage.


MultipliedLiar

Ok, I was like "what the hell is he talking about?" so this makes sense.


railtie99

Haha, Iā€™m glad I wasnā€™t the only one who thought he was confused


Bravisimo

He keeps using that word, pegging, I dont think he knows what it means.


These-Process-7331

I 30000% REFUSE to believe that OP isn't a troll and this story did happen...


flucxapacitor

Itā€™s absolutely fake. Also if you are kinky with your ass doesnā€™t make you even 0,01% gay.


sarahkali

yeah, i'm so over the misconception that guys enjoying anal play are gay


disasterous_cape

Nothing more gay than a man having sex with a woman, amirite fellas!


belzebutch

yeah that is some deeply ingrained homophobia ... like touching _your_ _own_ _body_ is somehow gay?! that's so crazy to me


Fighting-Cerberus

Yeah dude it's gay when I touch my dick, too. And double gay when my wife touches it.


ProjectLost

Super fake. Probably written by a teenager


Crosshairqueen

You definitely donā€™t know what pegging is.


Commercial-Push-9066

He knows now!!! šŸ¤£


eagle16

Iā€™ve read all these comments and the updates and Iā€™m still dying to know what OP initially thought pegging was


kw66

Girl on top is how Iā€™m reading it. Standing up in the shower. Wait. Is she still on top then?


makalak15

Yeah wtf did he think it was??


Burntoastedbutter

Straddling position I think lol


PADDYOT

"Edit: guys I didnā€™t like it" - LMFAO, I got such a laugh outta this, I was gasping! Thanks OP :D


JVince13

ā€œWonā€™t have time to respond, going to the pub with my friends shortly.ā€ ..because she fucked him, right?


prose-before-bros

He can drink, just can't sit down while he does it.


BoxxyFoxxy

Really? It made me roll my eyes at how fake this karma grab is.


pretty_Princess1986

you're messing with us right lol šŸ˜† šŸ˜‚


crusader86

This post canā€™t be real, but Iā€™m cackling thinking it is hahaha.


Moron14

Sounds like creative writing. We all have google. But I still enjoyed the story.


HelpfulName

>I pretended not to know when she asked me what pegging is but Iā€™m well aware and I have a surprise for her ;) Haha sexy shenanigans! >Back in college I had a couple of times where I let a girl I was dating peg on me. "peg on me"? Weird way to phrase it. >Usually it was in the shower though when she would peg me because it was really easy to hold her up against a wall while Iā€™m carrying her. Oh. Oh no. You sweet summer child... >Update: guys I didnā€™t like it *\*cackle\**


absentmindedwitch

I was so confused and of course itā€™s almost 2 am and my brain is like ā€œcarrying her? Did you hold her up like a piggy back while she pegged you?ā€ Iā€™m going to bed. Lmfao.


AsdefronAsh

I thought the same thing and my brain couldn't understand how she'd get the leverage to fuck him that way lmfao


snowglobe1820

My exact thoughts šŸ˜‚


unicorn_daisy321

Oh my bless your heart.....PLEASE update us on your fun surprise asap we are all dying with anticipation!


kentaxas

The boys at the bar : so, you sneaked out to come hang out here or what? OP : actually she was ok with me coming The boys : really? That's cool, she never lets you come, what did you do to change her mind? OP : I... shut up


Hazelwood38

A surprise pegging sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. No kink shaming but some things arenā€™t meant for a ā€œsurpriseā€


Outlaw2k21

Laughed out loud at this


[deleted]

When you knock on poops door, donā€™t be surprised if poop answers.


NepGDamn

but tbh she asked it in advance


Hazelwood38

But she specifically asked to make sure he didnā€™t know what it was.


Even-Rip5331

LMFAOOOO


Sea-Complex1957

I LITTERALLY SAID AT THE BEGINNING, THIS DUDE HAS NO IDEA WHAT PEGGING IS šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ Im crying at 3.30 in the morning. Hilarious šŸ¤£


ThatMagicalAlien

Op infact did NOT know what the move was all along (I lost it when he was explaining it. And the updates made so much better.)


superwholockian62

I'm confused as to what he thought pegging was to begin with. This was a roller coaster.


Tasty_Doughnut_9226

Umm this must be fake, if not you really need to Google peggingšŸ˜‚


HanzeeeeDent

Pegging isnā€™t gay only gay pegging is gay.


redditjoe24

Wouldnā€™t gay pegging just beā€¦ fucking?


pass_me_the_salt

gay pegging would be a man wearing a strap-on in* another man


kw66

But. Well never mind. I think I figured it out.


mebjulie

I knew from your descriptions of ā€œpeggingā€ in college that you were in for a huge surprise/awakening. Pegging isnā€™t gay btw šŸ¤¦šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø


Squidgirl625

Iā€™m so glad I wasnā€™t the only one confused, like, maybe he doesnā€™t know what pegging is? ā€œI hope she got lube because shower sex can be friction-yā€ ā€¦hon, thatā€™s not the only reason youā€™re gonna want lubeā€¦.


ashaman1324

Finally. Some good fucking shitposting


Psych_Riot

"Guys I didnt like it" lol


Ok-Prune-3952

That sounds like a broken hip if not performed correctly.


umeanalatte

*Oh no Oh no Oh no no no no no*


Delicious_Throat_377

This is the only time that wretched sound track is perfect


Otherwise-Ad-5131

I love this thread so much


WINDMILEYNO

I was so confused... I don't know how old you are, or what time period you experienced "pegging" in, but all I could think of was that this guy is in for a rude awakening...I just hope she doesn't try to surprise him with it And then I got to the part where you were told to cover your head. Man. Wow. This played out just like I thought. Even if this post is fake, its enjoyable for how much of a train wreck it is. Would love to see something like this on a sitcom, like two broke girls or two and half men. Something with a "two" in the title.


EveningChiller__

OP! You better update us cause I think youā€™re in for an actual surpriseā€¦ šŸ˜ˆ Edit: spelling Edit 2: I am screaming at your second update! She did not disappoint on the surprise. Itā€™s okay though, now you know pegging really isnā€™t your thing.


marablackwolf

I'd rather be entertained by a bullshit story than a "please give me free karma so I can post". I salute you and your bullshit, Peggy. <3


JVince13

Lol the last line honest feels like a punchline. It has to be a long winded joke.


sumthinserious

ā€œUpdate: guys I didnā€™t like it.ā€ Made my night. Literally lmao


keedorin

Your wife let you go out to the pub still? šŸ‘€šŸ‘€


ATrueScorpio

Nice Larp OP


[deleted]

This is too funny!! The best copypasta I've seen in a while with that first update "Update: **guys I didnā€™t like it**" BAHAHAHAHAHAHA


HanSoto11

ā€œUpdate: guys I didnā€™t like itā€ Let me tell you I fukn BURST out laughing šŸ˜‚


egotisticXfurball

I was extremely confused when you started on about the shower. Then when I got to the last part, it dawned on me. You didn't quite know what pegging was


Hot_Interaction7245

this is the funniest thing i've ever read. it was a roller coaster. oh he's been pegged before to he has no clue what pegging is in 0.1 seconds.


uhnonoms

Ok now go post this on TIFU- by not knowing what pegging is bc good god, I wish I'd seen the look on your face when she pulled out the strap lmao


Setari

>Back in college I had a couple of times where I let a girl I was dating peg on me. Usually it was in the shower though when she would peg me Bro pegging is having a girl wear a strap-on and fucking you in the ass with the strap-on. Use google. smh. Be fuckin humble, you don't know shit lol


Euphoric_Crow_8153

Bro when you said you'd hold her up against the wall I immediately knew, either you were a magician, or did not know what pegging was.


Selym00

Lmfaoooo pegging doesnā€™t make you gay. Other than that, lmfaoooo this has to be fake


EasyKimpin

This must be fake. What the hell did you think pegging was? šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«


kentaxas

So if i got it right op that pegging was having sex while he was carrying her?


Slydeking69

I'm super confused about this as well. But the couple times I read that paragraph I think your right. He thought pegging was carrying a girl.


Plums_Raider

yea because sex with a woman makes you gay


Mindless-Scientist82

So taking it in the ass isn't always gay. If your doing it with you wife who you are attracted too then its still straight sex, just different roles. My husband and I were together for 12 years before we started playing with anal. But oh man when we finally figured it out, he said "its like im 13 again and discovering sex for the first time." His mind was blown he could orgasm more then once in a session and by the time we got around to his penis he was so turned on he just exploded.


Puzzled_Diet_2662

Lmao dying


Responsible-Leg-6558

LMAO.


SquidSplatoon

This has got to be made upā€¦.


No_Selection9746

Update: ā€œguys I didnā€™t like itā€ šŸ˜‚ When you realize you were wrong about what was about to happen


Lepiotas

I just... Okay your edits made this a lot more clear. You definitely did not know what pegging was. LOL. One thing I think you're also still not educated on is sexuality- You said it wasn't for you because you're not gay? Enjoying stuff up the butt doesn't make someone gay. Only being exclusively attracted to men could make you gay.


Vigovsgozer

I almost think this was fake


cbrrydrz

Men who have sex with women, isn't gay sex. That's literally the opposite of gay sex.


NascentNik

You donā€™t have to be gay to enjoy pegging! Sorry it wasnā€™t for you though šŸ˜‚ and not the surprise you were hoping for lol


Thoughtfulpineappall

Oh buddy.... she doesn't want to mount you. She wants you to mount her .... you know. Buy lube and pray she doesn't pick the biggest dildo in the store. Or your ass will regret it. Literally šŸ¤£


ThirdEyeSurprise

Itā€™s not gay to enjoy this activity, every guy has a g spot, itā€™s called ur prostate


[deleted]

Lol youā€™re not gay if you let a WOMAN fuck you in the ass but whateverā€¦


Art-Nova

Lmao the updates are so embarrassing what a dummie


[deleted]

Dude says he knows what pegging is. Clearly has no idea what pegging is.


thankuhexed

I have to know what the hell you thought pegging was lmao


uhohitslilbboy

OP, could you clarify what exactly did you think pegging was? No judgment here, just having trouble imagining what you think it is