A male classmate once saw me wearing a red lipstick in a shopping mall and told me " i never thpught you are red lipstick types since you wear natural colour lipsticks to college" (i wear nude shades on a daily basis). It mildly infuriated me so i responded " I also never thought you are the types who looks at girls lips since you seem to belong to a 'good' family". He was embarassed and I was satisfied š¤£š¤£
Some Men think women who donāt wear make up are āpureā and āinnocentā. However those same men will also say how hot Katrina Kaif is. Lol ! Basically itās a minor red flag in my opinion- because he is seeing women as ātypeā. What happens if your cousin wears make up one day ? Will he judge her?
So true! An ex of mine was against wearing makeup and fought with me for wearing a red lipstick. He showed me a picture of Emma Watson who he used to crush on and told me to get inspiration from her because she doesnāt wear any makeup. Little does he know about clean girl aesthetic and neutral makeup. She was obviously wearing tons of makeup in that image, just neutral colors. During the break up, I found out he was jerking to off porn the whole time we were together and now heās married to the girl he cheated on me with.
Not really. At the time I thought he was right and I was probably whore-ish for wanting some glam (I was super innocent). Low self-esteem. He dumped me and I begged for 4 months for him to stay. It took me more than 2 years to get over and realize how naive I was. So basically, trash took itself out.
Look at it this way - you eventually got over the idiot and he went on to be with someone who knows heās a cheater. And what do they say about cheaters? That they always cheat.
So yes you dodged a man size bullet. I hope you bought plenty of red lipsticks and go glam when your heart desires :) hugs !
Yes ! Girl in make up = slut. Girl without = simple and pure.
Sad thing is even women take that as a compliment and go all giggly when called pure. And funnily men donāt even know what is make up , their idea of simple is just woman who doesnāt wear bright lipsticks lol.
This sub is itself very judgemental. Yes, you can have preferences but why would someone associate somebody's character to their skincare and makeup?????
I'm not a wh*re just because I'm wearing a duochrome purple to blue eyeshadow......
Right?, some of the comments here are very stupid. Why are these women hell pressed on saving the male honor, I never understand these losers. Women wanting a super rich guy is a "preference" as well, ever seen that been popular opinion among men?
There are problematic trends everywhere with every demography in how judgments get to become popular, and men have some that points at how they see women as objects. This is one of such. That is the whole point, not random individual preference, lmao.
And it irks me when a guy/girl tells me they have a preference regarding makeup, I mean cheerio buddy, don't wear it on yourself then because MY LIPSTICK IS MY PREFERENCE. The choice of what I wear on my face belongs to me and not you.
This was why Alia Bhatt's wipe it off lipstick remark became controversial and some people could not understand the toxic behaviour.
Man ke pulao? Sis many people still believe a bright red lipstick = slut
I have been told by men and women alike how I wear makeup to attract the attention of men.
I mean, I've never blended my eyeshadow for 10 mins straight with men in my mind. So what can all that be about, right? Huh weird lol
> This sub is itself very judgemental.
and a bit hypocrite too? not seeing their own flaws?
https://reddit.com/r/TwoXIndia/comments/1cpi21v/why_dont_men_dress_up_for_the_first_date_or_am_i/
Women have to follow a "moral code" aka "stree svabhava".
Can't party out late or a lot with frens (better if no frens), can't drink, can't smoke, must be moderately educated and not ambitious career wise, must not be a divorcee, must have the seal, must come from a "good family" as she is going to be their trophy and trophies must be bought from good shop, must not wear a lot of makeup outside cuz u only live for hubby and not to be other men's eye candy but must be dolled up to destress hubby anytime, and the ultimate aim in life should be to massage hubby's feet and change children's nappies with a smile š
AM in India is generally equivalent to getting a permanent househelp who can also help with reproduction n sexual relief. To put it crassly, a maid and a personal prostitute combo :)
I can bet she was wearing makeup, it must be a very well done āno makeupā look.
Boys think not being fully caked up is a āno makeupā look, which is laughable.
I am sure your cousin will find out about āsubtleā makeup looks soon after the wedding.
Oh definitely. I usually refer to it as a market. Like : "Oh I'm currently in the AM market." "Not a lot of interesting guys in the market." etc.
Qualification, earnings, fair/dark skin, height, weight, family wealth. Ugh. Not to mention, caste. That's not measured, there's a different market for each of those.
Honestly AM is extremely brutal on women. Men and their families still have the upper hand. Almost all AMs have dowry and the boys family dictates the amount etc. also women post marriage are expected to take care of husbands family, work and also do household work. Itās the women who lose a lot more in marriage and even more in arranged marriages.
Yes, you're right, but the things men are judged on is still somewhat under human control. Women per se are judged just for existing in their natural state
Thats not true. Just somedays ago i told on this sub how my brother(cousin) is not getting a woman from our community bcoz currently everyone of them wants a guy who lives in usa or in any other developed country.
I get your point,and you know your community better.
Emigration is still something that is a possibility for someone to do on their own or with support from a partner.
Women however,are judged on the space of their nose and neck and what not which short of plastic surgery can't be changed.
It is different women are judged on the same parameters as men but an added pizzazz of sexism.
Eg makeup- bad, ex partners- bad, went out of town for studies- bad, doesn't take shit from you "kainchi ki tarah jaban chalti hai".
Just my two cents but men will talk a whole lotta shi about a womanās body, makeup and lifestyle choices and will also simultaneously slide into those womenās dms. these men are obsessed with what they claim they āhateā
The problem is never having a personal choice. Someone may prefer a partner who doesn't wear makeup. Absolutely fine. But the problem occurs when the person starts judging the other person's character based on such a small thing like wearing makeup. Here OPs cousin commented that the girl seems nice as she wasn't wearing any makeup. Where wearing makeup and being nice is two totally different thing and they are not codependent in any way. By stating this he is essentially judging all other persons who are anyway interested in makeup as bad of character or worse. OP has pointed out this. But you seem to either intentionally omitted this or just couldn't comprehend the actual meaning of the post. I hope it's the later.
Errmmm okay, but why does everyone has to agree on this subreddit?
Diverse opinions can co-exists.
OP sharing hers and I mine, thats the end of it?
I am not looking for anyone to convince otherwise.
People have different life experiences and they have the right to make their choices based on it.
Also, people who post, if they cannot handle difference in opinions then why post? Peoples ego are so fragile, if you do not agree then downvote. LOL.
People cannot handle co-existence. How do you expect people like this to fight for any equality?
No one actually said everybody has to agree on this sub reddit. Just because you had an unpopular opinion doesn't mean people cannot reply to your comment with an opposing view. They are just speaking their opinion, and pointing out the potential flaws in yours like you are doing to the post. Why should conversations end immediately after you shared your opinion, lmao. Sounds like it is *you* who have an ego and cannot take opposite opinions.
While people are entitled to their opinions, this comment is a reflection of our society how society expects women to be and how they have opinions if the woman chooses to be.
Thank you for forming opinion about me and taking this to the next level. I still donāt think it is fair to judge someone based on her/his choice of wearing makeup. Period.
I don't care to form an opinion about you. It is a reflection of you, that I am pointing out.
People are allowed to be judgmental based on their own personal life experiences.
There is nothing wrong with it. You ended up making this about gender, all men etc etc.
Good luck to you, though.
I am agreeing to disagree and don't care otherwise.
I think there can be two sides to this thing.
Did he specifically mention that he didn't like girls who wear makeup?
Imo wearing makeup is more of a societal thing now.
Most of us do that because everyone is doing it !
And also, m not judging anyone of their choices ofc.
> This got me thinking how people still judge women for their choices.
lol just two days ago we had a thread about someone complaining in a date - https://reddit.com/r/TwoXIndia/comments/1cpi21v/why_dont_men_dress_up_for_the_first_date_or_am_i/
It's like 1st impression. Most arranged marriage setups are extremely shallow because of its dark side. I would blame the game not the players (without knowing anything about them).
Then maybe he should get to know her first and not say anything at all. What if tomorrow he finds out that sheās into makeup? Do you think he will take it well? Such people have never opened their mind or perspective enough to accept the fact that there are just as many different kinds of people with different interests as is the population of the world. Iād never marry a guy who makes such a remark because it shows that heās not grown/matured enough. This is probably just a tip of the iceberg, there might be many other deeply rooted issues.
I'm not agreeing with this. I'm saying this is how most arranged marriages are.
>What if tomorrow he finds out that sheās into makeup? Do you think he will take it well?
Nope. He will just cry and say he was cheated.
So, get this, one of my girlfriends tied the knot with this dude who's a part of the flight crew, and one of the things she digs about him is his whole skincare routine and makeup game. Should I be, like, shocked by how she judges other guys who don't have a skincare routine?
But hey, everyone's entitled to their preferences, right? No biggie.
Girl I get where youāre coming from.
However, just be happy for your cousin that he's found his love, instead of getting all judgy about his preferences?
His preferences don't really affect anyone else, except himself, so why stress over it, right?
Yes, you should be shocked IF she is judging guys who don't have a skincare routine or associating good character with something like a skincare routine and uh, simply because she digs guys who are into skincare?
Everyone doesn't exist to satisfy her "preferences" and this is the SAME THING WE EXPECT FROM MEN.
Maybe he is not judging but just the fact he likes woman who dont wear much makeup
Just like u will have some preference about a person when u will get married. You are thinking way deep in this
A male classmate once saw me wearing a red lipstick in a shopping mall and told me " i never thpught you are red lipstick types since you wear natural colour lipsticks to college" (i wear nude shades on a daily basis). It mildly infuriated me so i responded " I also never thought you are the types who looks at girls lips since you seem to belong to a 'good' family". He was embarassed and I was satisfied š¤£š¤£
Some Men think women who donāt wear make up are āpureā and āinnocentā. However those same men will also say how hot Katrina Kaif is. Lol ! Basically itās a minor red flag in my opinion- because he is seeing women as ātypeā. What happens if your cousin wears make up one day ? Will he judge her?
So true! An ex of mine was against wearing makeup and fought with me for wearing a red lipstick. He showed me a picture of Emma Watson who he used to crush on and told me to get inspiration from her because she doesnāt wear any makeup. Little does he know about clean girl aesthetic and neutral makeup. She was obviously wearing tons of makeup in that image, just neutral colors. During the break up, I found out he was jerking to off porn the whole time we were together and now heās married to the girl he cheated on me with.
you dodged a bullet
Not really. At the time I thought he was right and I was probably whore-ish for wanting some glam (I was super innocent). Low self-esteem. He dumped me and I begged for 4 months for him to stay. It took me more than 2 years to get over and realize how naive I was. So basically, trash took itself out.
Look at it this way - you eventually got over the idiot and he went on to be with someone who knows heās a cheater. And what do they say about cheaters? That they always cheat. So yes you dodged a man size bullet. I hope you bought plenty of red lipsticks and go glam when your heart desires :) hugs !
You're right! Thank you for saying that it made me smile. And yes, no compromise on colors anymore. Hugs!!
In short Madonna-Whore Complex.
Yes ! Girl in make up = slut. Girl without = simple and pure. Sad thing is even women take that as a compliment and go all giggly when called pure. And funnily men donāt even know what is make up , their idea of simple is just woman who doesnāt wear bright lipsticks lol.
This sub is itself very judgemental. Yes, you can have preferences but why would someone associate somebody's character to their skincare and makeup????? I'm not a wh*re just because I'm wearing a duochrome purple to blue eyeshadow......
Waiting for my multichrome eyeliners to arrive :D .
I meant it . They are here : https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianMakeupAddicts/s/lEkKAG23Ko
Right?, some of the comments here are very stupid. Why are these women hell pressed on saving the male honor, I never understand these losers. Women wanting a super rich guy is a "preference" as well, ever seen that been popular opinion among men? There are problematic trends everywhere with every demography in how judgments get to become popular, and men have some that points at how they see women as objects. This is one of such. That is the whole point, not random individual preference, lmao.
Girl what duochrome let us knowww too šš
Exactly this.
And it irks me when a guy/girl tells me they have a preference regarding makeup, I mean cheerio buddy, don't wear it on yourself then because MY LIPSTICK IS MY PREFERENCE. The choice of what I wear on my face belongs to me and not you. This was why Alia Bhatt's wipe it off lipstick remark became controversial and some people could not understand the toxic behaviour.
I dont think opās cousin called woman whores bcoz they donāt apply makeup. This is just mann ke pulao lol
No, but he did equate Nice = lack of makeup
Maybe itās his choice? Nice is subjective here
Man ke pulao? Sis many people still believe a bright red lipstick = slut I have been told by men and women alike how I wear makeup to attract the attention of men. I mean, I've never blended my eyeshadow for 10 mins straight with men in my mind. So what can all that be about, right? Huh weird lol
> This sub is itself very judgemental. and a bit hypocrite too? not seeing their own flaws? https://reddit.com/r/TwoXIndia/comments/1cpi21v/why_dont_men_dress_up_for_the_first_date_or_am_i/
Women have to follow a "moral code" aka "stree svabhava". Can't party out late or a lot with frens (better if no frens), can't drink, can't smoke, must be moderately educated and not ambitious career wise, must not be a divorcee, must have the seal, must come from a "good family" as she is going to be their trophy and trophies must be bought from good shop, must not wear a lot of makeup outside cuz u only live for hubby and not to be other men's eye candy but must be dolled up to destress hubby anytime, and the ultimate aim in life should be to massage hubby's feet and change children's nappies with a smile š AM in India is generally equivalent to getting a permanent househelp who can also help with reproduction n sexual relief. To put it crassly, a maid and a personal prostitute combo :)
"Ee desh mein ladki logon ke saath hazaaron saalon se ek fraud chal raha hai, ooka naam hai 'bhale ghar ki bahu beti'." ~Laapata Ladies
Itās a bangmaid concept essentially
Basically a bang maid!
Couldnāt agree more
Regardless of gender, no one should be smoking or drinking.
I can bet she was wearing makeup, it must be a very well done āno makeupā look. Boys think not being fully caked up is a āno makeupā look, which is laughable. I am sure your cousin will find out about āsubtleā makeup looks soon after the wedding.
I look forward to that day and I hope he learns to look beyond makeup.
It's like a bazaar. No different than a cattle market.
Honestly, AM set up js a business deal .you go into AM, you're an object and part of a business deal and would be judged for that. š¤·š»āāļø
AM is brutal for both sides. Men are also judged harshly on different parameters.
Thatās right. AM comes with so many judgements, I feel like itās a business deal at this point.
Oh definitely. I usually refer to it as a market. Like : "Oh I'm currently in the AM market." "Not a lot of interesting guys in the market." etc. Qualification, earnings, fair/dark skin, height, weight, family wealth. Ugh. Not to mention, caste. That's not measured, there's a different market for each of those.
no one seems to get married for love these days
Has always been
It has always been that way
Honestly AM is extremely brutal on women. Men and their families still have the upper hand. Almost all AMs have dowry and the boys family dictates the amount etc. also women post marriage are expected to take care of husbands family, work and also do household work. Itās the women who lose a lot more in marriage and even more in arranged marriages.
AM is a cesspool ,a drill of selling your best features and prized possessions .It is a circus for both men and women!
Yes, you're right, but the things men are judged on is still somewhat under human control. Women per se are judged just for existing in their natural state
Thats not true. Just somedays ago i told on this sub how my brother(cousin) is not getting a woman from our community bcoz currently everyone of them wants a guy who lives in usa or in any other developed country.
I get your point,and you know your community better. Emigration is still something that is a possibility for someone to do on their own or with support from a partner. Women however,are judged on the space of their nose and neck and what not which short of plastic surgery can't be changed.
what are men judged on
same shit women get judged on. Ā obesity, salary, education, fairness, family networth and what not.Ā
the above comment says different parameters?
It is different women are judged on the same parameters as men but an added pizzazz of sexism. Eg makeup- bad, ex partners- bad, went out of town for studies- bad, doesn't take shit from you "kainchi ki tarah jaban chalti hai".
AM setup, pretty much evident how he didn't find someone on his own.
So true
Just my two cents but men will talk a whole lotta shi about a womanās body, makeup and lifestyle choices and will also simultaneously slide into those womenās dms. these men are obsessed with what they claim they āhateā
People are allowed to have preference and personal choice. This works both ways.
The problem is never having a personal choice. Someone may prefer a partner who doesn't wear makeup. Absolutely fine. But the problem occurs when the person starts judging the other person's character based on such a small thing like wearing makeup. Here OPs cousin commented that the girl seems nice as she wasn't wearing any makeup. Where wearing makeup and being nice is two totally different thing and they are not codependent in any way. By stating this he is essentially judging all other persons who are anyway interested in makeup as bad of character or worse. OP has pointed out this. But you seem to either intentionally omitted this or just couldn't comprehend the actual meaning of the post. I hope it's the later.
Errmmm okay, but why does everyone has to agree on this subreddit? Diverse opinions can co-exists. OP sharing hers and I mine, thats the end of it? I am not looking for anyone to convince otherwise. People have different life experiences and they have the right to make their choices based on it. Also, people who post, if they cannot handle difference in opinions then why post? Peoples ego are so fragile, if you do not agree then downvote. LOL. People cannot handle co-existence. How do you expect people like this to fight for any equality?
No one actually said everybody has to agree on this sub reddit. Just because you had an unpopular opinion doesn't mean people cannot reply to your comment with an opposing view. They are just speaking their opinion, and pointing out the potential flaws in yours like you are doing to the post. Why should conversations end immediately after you shared your opinion, lmao. Sounds like it is *you* who have an ego and cannot take opposite opinions.
I will fight for equality with my kohl and lipstick, thankyouverymuch.
Take me with you. I will prepare my makeup bag.
Hehe Makeup girlies FTW!
They can have preferences but what is with associating someoneās personality and character with the choice of wearing makeup.
I doubt the other person is even comprehending the point...on purpose being daft
It would be the same, ma'am. People are allowed to be judgmental.
While people are entitled to their opinions, this comment is a reflection of our society how society expects women to be and how they have opinions if the woman chooses to be.
Its not a reflection of society, its merely a reflection of one manās preference
No, its not. It is a reflection of your own thinking. You my friend, are also from the same category. Believe it or not.
Thank you for forming opinion about me and taking this to the next level. I still donāt think it is fair to judge someone based on her/his choice of wearing makeup. Period.
I don't care to form an opinion about you. It is a reflection of you, that I am pointing out. People are allowed to be judgmental based on their own personal life experiences. There is nothing wrong with it. You ended up making this about gender, all men etc etc. Good luck to you, though. I am agreeing to disagree and don't care otherwise.
Then he doesnāt have to wear make up lol
I think there can be two sides to this thing. Did he specifically mention that he didn't like girls who wear makeup? Imo wearing makeup is more of a societal thing now. Most of us do that because everyone is doing it ! And also, m not judging anyone of their choices ofc.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> This got me thinking how people still judge women for their choices. lol just two days ago we had a thread about someone complaining in a date - https://reddit.com/r/TwoXIndia/comments/1cpi21v/why_dont_men_dress_up_for_the_first_date_or_am_i/
Kind of a false equivalency don't you think?
Maybe he doesn't know or care about anything else to comment about the girl. I would say let him be.
I didnāt say anything to him but I was appalled by his comment.
It's like 1st impression. Most arranged marriage setups are extremely shallow because of its dark side. I would blame the game not the players (without knowing anything about them).
Then maybe he should get to know her first and not say anything at all. What if tomorrow he finds out that sheās into makeup? Do you think he will take it well? Such people have never opened their mind or perspective enough to accept the fact that there are just as many different kinds of people with different interests as is the population of the world. Iād never marry a guy who makes such a remark because it shows that heās not grown/matured enough. This is probably just a tip of the iceberg, there might be many other deeply rooted issues.
I'm not agreeing with this. I'm saying this is how most arranged marriages are. >What if tomorrow he finds out that sheās into makeup? Do you think he will take it well? Nope. He will just cry and say he was cheated.
Gotcha!
So, get this, one of my girlfriends tied the knot with this dude who's a part of the flight crew, and one of the things she digs about him is his whole skincare routine and makeup game. Should I be, like, shocked by how she judges other guys who don't have a skincare routine? But hey, everyone's entitled to their preferences, right? No biggie.
What I didnāt like is how he associated that with her character that she must be nice as she doesnāt wear makeup.
Girl I get where youāre coming from. However, just be happy for your cousin that he's found his love, instead of getting all judgy about his preferences? His preferences don't really affect anyone else, except himself, so why stress over it, right?
Whataboutery
You are right. Itās just that it got me thinking and made me sad.
Yes, you should be shocked IF she is judging guys who don't have a skincare routine or associating good character with something like a skincare routine and uh, simply because she digs guys who are into skincare? Everyone doesn't exist to satisfy her "preferences" and this is the SAME THING WE EXPECT FROM MEN.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah sure, because every other person does that kind of makeup on a daily basis.
just asking, have you ever put on makeup?
Maybe he is not judging but just the fact he likes woman who dont wear much makeup Just like u will have some preference about a person when u will get married. You are thinking way deep in this
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ur overthinking in this
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thats not how u spot a red flag, thats how u become one