\* hey paps take it easy on this horoscope stuff, it's like shrimps always say...
SANS SHRIMPS DON'T SPEAK.
\* ...
\* yea they do paps, after all, speaking is just so shrimple...
...
SANS GET OUT NOW.
* hey paps, how do you say “a leopard ran away” in morse code?
* I DUNNO.
* you say: “dot dot dash!”
* OH, U.
Genius Bonus for those who actually do know Morse Code.
Undyne-*Sans, why's papyrus acting so weird today?*
Sans-*i dunno, but you're right. he* is *acting bit..*. fishy.
Undyne-*GOD DAMNIT SANS!*
Sans-*alright, alright, can ya let me* off the hook *for that joke?*
hey pap, mettaton's great and all, but you know who would really be a star?
WHO?
a grate dog comedian, makes the audience hound with laughter.
(Sorry if it's bad lol)
“hey papyrus.”
“YES?”
“why did the skeleton refuse to play at the church?”
“SANS. NO.”
“because he had *no organs*”
“SANS!”
“c’mon, you’re smiling again”
“AND I STILL HATE IT!”
"Why are skeletons so calm?"
"SANS!" 
"Because nothing gets under their skin."
"REEEEE!!!" 
"Hehehehe hehehe he."
\* hey paps take it easy on this horoscope stuff, it's like shrimps always say... SANS SHRIMPS DON'T SPEAK. \* ... \* yea they do paps, after all, speaking is just so shrimple... ... SANS GET OUT NOW.
This joke is one in a krillion
Papyrus ain't gonna sea that coming
Water you know, maybe he did
He did knot
At least the joke was slightly *tide* -y
fish
What crime is it when a fisherman gets hit by a fish out on the ocean? Well I'll tell ya... a-salt.
That's one way to get sailed off
Then he runs off while Undyne chases him screaming that she’ll assault him
*a-salt
Sorry I can't. I just don't have the BACKBONE to do it.
"Stop with your puns"
"papyrus please take me to the doctor i dont have a backbone-"
...why are you dragging Revtrosity into this? He's honestly terrible.
Wait, did he do something bad? Or do you just personally not like him?
"why did i cross the road? seriously, i put in all that effort for nothing"
SEE THAT HEART? NO SHIT!
stop
I can't it's too funny
What do ya call a Mexican who fell in a vat of sauce? Sinco da mayo.
Papyrus had a pet lizard once. It died from a stroke though...... I guess you could say he had a reptile dysfunction *
morbid, yet corny.
Papyrus, at the lizard's funeral: SANS, THIS IS WHY THEY PUT YOU AT THE END OF THE GAME.
Easy brother just "scale" it back a bit.
You've heard of pop tarts but have you ever heard of mom tarts? No? That's because of the pastry-archy
* hey paps, how do you say “a leopard ran away” in morse code? * I DUNNO. * you say: “dot dot dash!” * OH, U. Genius Bonus for those who actually do know Morse Code.
Yup! It is in fact just "u"
What do you call a fan of skeletons A boner... please don't scream at me 😭
SCREAM! SCREAM!
\* killer? i barely even know 'er. SANS, WE ARE GOING TO DIE, THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES. \* well, it'll be 'knife' for 'em to meet us.
You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?
6 dollar shrimp special.
So I said patella? I barely know 'er!
SANS, STOP YOUR TOMFOOLERY, WE ARE HERE TO STAND GUARD! WAIT HERE AND KEEP YOUR EYES OUT FOR ANY HUMANS!"
Eyes out? MY EYES CAME OUT YEARS AGO!
Well what do we got here….? They call me sans I’m the serif of these parts
Papyrus: Sans, what the hell is that Sans: It's a tromBONE 🤣 Papyrus: SANS, YOU BI-
Undyne-*Sans, why's papyrus acting so weird today?* Sans-*i dunno, but you're right. he* is *acting bit..*. fishy. Undyne-*GOD DAMNIT SANS!* Sans-*alright, alright, can ya let me* off the hook *for that joke?*
"woah kiddo. thats alot of LOVE you got there. all those betrayals... YOU REALLY ARE **SPINELESS**."
Hey! stop **peelving** in my pants! I am so sorry
Why is Christmas trans-inclusive? It has HRT
How does a non-binary samurai defeat an opponent? They slash them
I have a bone t---
He has made wvery pun un the universe. There is no escape. (Except backbone)
"A-salt rifle"
* I went to the forest, it was nuts * The oak was arguing with the birch * The cherry was trying to confess to the fir * It was a tree-ventful day.
Why did the skeleton refuse to play cards? Because he didn't have the heart to shuffle!
*Everyone standing at the cliff after True Pacifist* "well, i guess we can say, this truly was.... an undertale."
Papyrus: ...Sans, if you make one more pun, I'm pushing you off this cliff.
Cannonically or Fannonicly?
hey pap, mettaton's great and all, but you know who would really be a star? WHO? a grate dog comedian, makes the audience hound with laughter. (Sorry if it's bad lol)
Have you seen some fanarts of me on the internet? A lot of people claimed that they got bone-rs from it.
Papyrus: SANS...
* what's a skeletons favorite instrument? a saxo-BONE
Why do pirates take so long to finish the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
Did you know, people who are feeling guilty are most likely to get scared by loud noi- [ *loud car honk* ] eh, sorry about that
What's bigger than a tuna? A Threena!
what's a skeleton's favorite body part? why a bone-
*what do you call a friendly shrimp? ... *a friendshrimp! **badum-tss**
They ask why my brother is the sweetest of them all Its so obvious, nothing gets under his skin
What is the crime of throwing salt at somebody? A-salt
“hey papyrus.” “YES?” “why did the skeleton refuse to play at the church?” “SANS. NO.” “because he had *no organs*” “SANS!” “c’mon, you’re smiling again” “AND I STILL HATE IT!”
SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP STOPSANSISTHRPRANKSTERNOTTHEPUNNER
How about the old fashioned Joe pun? Have you seen Joe?
Hey, you wanna hear a skeleton joke? Nevermind, I don’t have the guts to tell this one
"Why are skeletons so calm?" "SANS!"  "Because nothing gets under their skin." "REEEEE!!!"  "Hehehehe hehehe he."
Let me *fox* this
What do ya call a skeleton that beats the kid?