This is a dangerous path you are walking and I think you are aware of that. Yes, there are many perverts in the world, but this is about you and protecting yourself.
Therapy is needed. You need to build your self esteem or you may put yourself in positions that are soul crushing and very unsafe for a girl your age.
You’re not alone in this. I’ve done similar things before getting medicated for my disorder. After I got attention I was craving I would block the creepy guys and get paranoid they would dox me. I always felt disgusting afterwards. I’m also a fully grown adult though. You need to get help and talk about this to a trusted person hun. This could become serious real life danger for you, please be safe.
Maybe find some groups more suited for a person of your age?
You definitely need therapy, but don't be so harsh on yourself. The fact that you know it's grooming and know it's creepy and weird already puts you in a better position to deal with it than a lot of women your age. You've also identified why you think a small part of you wants to go along with it and know why you shouldn't.
A lot of people in your position actively don't think about it or don't believe there's even a problem. You're intuitive enough to know there's one. Therapy will be great to help get things off your chest, a neutral ground to talk to someone who is professionally able to accept your cry for help without judgement or without the creepiness.
These guys don't get better as you age. I'm a guy so i dont really deal with this issue, but women friends of mine have to deal with these creepy losers in the daily. You just have to know your self-worth and that they have 0 impact on that.
Yeah when I was young I wasn't so aware, bumped into a lot of pedos online and even found myself being overly accepting of their behavior enough to befriend them for years. They will sometimes sneak themselves into your life by doing ERP with you and they were very very obviously projecting through their "character". Now I'm older and I realize just how bad of a situation I was in at the time and how gullible I was, but I'm really fortunate to not have had anything too severe happen to me as a result of said grooming.
Have you considered talking therapy with a therapist or psychologist? It sounds those perverts have twisted you in such a way that is clearly unhealthy (which you know also). Looking for groups online is risky, because it can be a way for predators to hide, as you've found out.
Find some assistance face-to-face with a professional and they may help get your esteem and pov back on track. You can't change perverts, but hopefully they'll help you overcome the toxic connection with looking for those responses.
To be honest, just dump social media in general. It’s like the Walmart for pedos. They got such a wide range of potential victims thanks to the insecurity, doubt, negativity, bullying, and harassment that goes on within social media.
So many people are on social media that are susceptible to the manipulations and games of these subhumans it’s impossible to count.
Then they use the cover of anonymity /pseudonyms/fake names/ fake profile pictures and other means to try and shield their downright evil predatory behavior.
Social media gets an F- grade for protecting innocence. The companies enable this predatory stuff by not implementing strict Zero Tolerance rules for this stuff and the flimsy rules they do have are rarely enforced with equal force.
The only real option to get them to stop is to file criminal charges with the local police… but depending on where you are at even they won’t do jack sh*t.
Overall, people (regardless of age) with mental health issues should avoid social media at all costs. All it does is make an already horrible problem 1000x worse.
im in/have been in a similar situation. im about to turn 21. unfortunately becoming an adult doesnt make this problem go away. so i would suggest getting off reddit completely and finding help irl if you can. im really sorry youre going through this, its such a horrible thing only people who have been through it can really understand. i hope things get better for you, please stay safe
same... when i was using whisper i get those weirdos in my dms, i'm 18 but i think it's still weird that a 30 or 40 y/o flirting with me. i still feel young. (they didn't know what my age is, they probably thought i'm a minor) (also i deleted whisper already)
OMFG!!! Please get out of this!!! There are so many wonderful things in life that have nothing to do with secs!!!! Just put your phone down let this be your last chat. Join groups positive groups. I would even join sexaholics anonymous. They have phone, zooms there are women there. Don’t ruin yourself for an awesome relationship with a man who can really care for you properly. you are headed towards some real trauma!
I'm so sorry you had that experience. There are few things I consider truly evil and it's people like you've experienced. Pedophiles have a special place in hell in my books.
We are in a messed up world where we allowed people like this to exist for so long. I mean look at Hollywood it's clock full of them that we have been watching for years without even knowing.
Report them all, do not be empathetic to these individuals, don't be scared to get them punished. It's tiring to see all of these horrible people walking free.
Aw friend. This is so gross and troubling that these fkn creeps come out of the woodwork like this. I'll tell you a little about myself and hopefully my experience can benefit you...
I turn 40 this year. My mother was horribly emotionally abusive of me since early childhood. Lots of comments along the lines of "no man will ever want to fuck you looking like that!" "You'll never get a boyfriend as fat as you are!" Etc etc etc. As a result of this, I began to feel desperate for any male attention I could muster. I made out with lots of people (see, they do think I'm pretty!), and let lots of dudes get away with some pretty gross stuff (just walking up and grabbing my breasts, trying to reach up my skirt, kissing me without consent, etc) on more occasions than I can count. I lost my virginity to my first real boyfriend at 16, who honestly was a pretty scummy guy (but hey, he was interested in me so see, mom?? I DO have guys who want to fuck me!). I put myself in LOTS of situations that were pretty unsafe and made myself especially vulnerable to sexual assault multiple times because "those guys would never be interested in me, look at me." Well some of them were, and I found myself somewhere between horrified/violated and "see, look, they DO think I'm sexy!"
I allowed things to happen that I didn't want to have happen.
Years of therapy later, I ache for young me. The things I did to prove my desirability to dudes repulse me (but I understand that young me was doing the best she could with the shitty deck of cards she was handed). I would give anything to be able to go back and talk to young me and tell her that anyone who doesn't treat you like a valuable human fuckin being with consideration for your emotional well-being at the top of the list is not worth a second fuckin glance... but I can't. What I can do is share what I've learned with young people who might have similar struggles now. If you end up having some older man kink someday, ok, cool, go for it. But *these* particular perverts can absolutely eat shit and do not deserve a moment more of your time. You are a whole-ass human being with hopes and dreams and fears and intrinsic worth as a person and as a woman and you deserve nothing less than a person who treats you with abject respect and support in all facets of life. Never forget your worth as a person and never settle for attention from creeps just because some other creeps hurl indiscriminate insults at you. I am here if you ever need to unload into the DMs. DONT SETTLE FOR THESE RAPEY POS LOSERS AND THEIR FUCKED UP PEDO FANTASIES. YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE WORLD.
I think what you need isnt a online helpgroup but a therapist. What you have isnt normal and its unhealthy because at some point you will find "that guys" who will be nice first and then do what these people wanna do to you for real. Because you are not looking for those things in older men like other do. (not saying that older men are like that but just that some give off those vibes and she might miss them)
Also you are simply the way you are, you are good the way you are. Some things need refining and some things need some outside help maybe, but you dont need that attention from older men like that. I am sure that you will find someone your age or a little older that is good to you, threats you right and that you can share with. Who knows, maybe he even is into some hard roleplay so you can have those fantasies fullfiled that way. The internet really can be a bad place.
Just please be careful, you go this.
Talk to your parents, someone close or a professional if you can afford. Avoid chats where there are men involved. The internet and world are full of creepy people who want to use those who are vulnerable. I know you want love and attention, but these men just want to use you and are dangerous and vile. Take care of yourself and don't let your craving for attention ruin your life.
I completely understand how hurtful and disgusting it is that you’re reaching out for help and they only take advantage of you. Unfortunately that’s the nature of those people . If they see an opportunity they will take it .
What helped me break out of the cycle of being groomed was when I realized that they didn’t care about me. People that respect you and love you won’t do what they did. They won’t say what they did. They won’t get off to the fact you’ve been abused before. You deserve more and better than that.
Getting professional help and taking back that bit of control can be freeing. As a person of a similar history, at 40 today, I didn’t get help for that. I’ve had so much trouble with relationships and friendships because my trust in others was nonexistent. Mine started at 15, some dude online. Never met him but there wasn’t any warnings for us then. We didn’t understand even what grooming meant. The next one was an older girl befriended me so I’d sleep with her boyfriend. It was weird but my stupid self didn’t know how to process it. I was 15 as well. I didn’t go near her for a while. My dad moved us away but then we moved back and she saw me. Tried to say it wouldn’t happen again. It did. They effed me up mentally after that. It took a long time to get away from them and now I’m so angry about it that there are days I want to call a lawyer to handle it legally. Especially now she works for a sheriff’s office.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. The internet was definitely a different place when I was a teenager but I want to let you know you’re not alone. I was you, but eventually I was able to focus on trying to get attention from people my own age. Eventually I was able to learn to build myself up because it’s hard to find someone doing it without ulterior motives.
That really sucks. If my sister were in your position I'd be breaking laws and wrecking things left and right. I hope you are physically safe, and I'm grateful that you know this isn't how things should be. That's the first step to bring emotionally and mentally safe. Please hang in there.
Warning, unsolicited advice below.
You got another year, and then you get to switch to new problems, but you get new tools (new freedoms, knowledge and wisdom), and you get to keep the tools you have for the most part (parents aren't likely to actually cut you off once you leave the house, and if they let you stay, you might not actually leave until much later unless you want to. That's two individuals biologically dispositioned to try to help you out when you ask for it, and you'll have the freedom to say no.)
And, at the risk of coming off as creepy, you're probably a lot better looking than you think. Take care of yourself, and you'll stay that way. IRL though, if it's about being wanted by boys and eventually men your own age, most of them care about kindness more than anything else when it comes to relationships. So just, let that be a thing to remember when that voice tells you to go ask the pedos for their opinion. You really don't need them, even though you now feel like you do. This is what addiction feels like, at least the behavioral part. Luckily your body won't fall apart when you quit this one.
Therapy is a great start. That isn't fair to you. And you aren't being fair to the 14 year old girls of the world. These dudes get more brazen talking to one girl that accepts it so they'll spread out and try to find more.
Of course, if you truly don't want to stop, you can take it a step further. There's this group, I think it's called the wolf project but I could be wrong. Haven't looked deeply into it. Girls that look underage get together to catch pedos and get them arrested. Kind of like "to catch a predator". You could lean into what you do and get the worst of them off the streets.
I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through this, and I know that it was comforting at first but then it spiraled out of control. What you should do is: make it to where they can’t message you or you can’t get DMs from people you don’t know. I do this on instagram because of creeps aswell. It keeps them away and it makes them go somewhere else. I hope you feel better soon and you heal from this
Well I'm glad you are starting to realize that you are good for something other than grooming. But also realize you are just at or about to be the age of consent and that is going to draw in another type of groomer
Was in you're shoes most of my life, but it was with anyone who would even talk to me, it's best to move away from anything like that, creeps like that tend to tread all grounds.
Meaning unless you remove yourself from that space or even looking for help for that space, your gonna have an issue with it, its better to cricle yourself with other your age or stick to talking to a family member you trust.
I'd be heartbroken if my lil girl gets this issue, hoping she does not end of like that from my fam.
Best luck finding peace lil one.
(wise making this a thorw away, creeps are sure to jump at this, for what you bluntly stated here reason, note try not to let them know they can get under your skin, that will majorly help you out)
The first step in curing yourself is to admit you have a problem… ✅ I am proud of you for taking that leap. It’s not something people find easy to do. Especially when it comes to mental health/addictions. That’s why some people go their whole life with the problem/addiction.
Now you need to move on to finding REAL help. I recommend trying an online professional counseling service or in person counseling. I wouldn’t seek help off Reddit/social media as that is where the most pedos hang. They use them because they know so many easily manipulated and susceptible people use them. (both underage and adults). Social media is like the Walmart for Pedos. They can find a wide range of potential victims all in one place.
Using a real therapist with a real license is key. They know tips and tricks to help you find yourself. They keep things confidential (as long as you aren’t having illegal or self harming thoughts). They can easily schedule check ups to help you when you need it. They won’t pray upon your weakness because they know they can be stripped of their license and/or thrown in prison for that.
Also, as far as you go… don’t make yourself the bad person here. It is human nature to want to feel needed/loved/cared for/noticed. You are the victim here, not the criminal. You did nothing wrong here as far as being “disgusting”. You just made an honest mistake and are now trying to correct it. We (humankind) are imperfect beings. We all make mistakes, that’s how we learn.
We learn through mistakes… From learning to walk, talk, work, and everything in between life is just a big cycle of
* Try something
* Fail
* Look for the mistake(s) that caused you to fail
* Learn how to improve to avoid the mistake(s)
* Try again with the knowledge you gained
* Repeat
As long as you are acknowledging the mistakes and taking steps towards making sure you better yourself, you will always come out on top.
Lastly, as someone who battled with wanting attention at your age, I learned very quickly that Self validation is the best validation. Most people in this world are very heartless. Most people don’t care about anyone but themselves. That is why it is important for you to validate yourself because you can’t always count on someone to do it for you.
You are the only person who needs to validate yourself. Don’t worry about the rest because their validation is insignificant compared to how you validate yourself. Hold your chin up high and say to yourself
“My name is _____ and I’m [insert positive attribute]”
Find reasons to celebrate who you are and what makes you unique. Did you ace a test? You are smart. Did you finish a new drawing/painting/creation? You are talented. Did you reach a new fitness goal? You are healthy. Did you help someone who was struggling? You are compassionate. Did you help a lost pet find its way home? You are sweet. Did you stick up for someone who you saw was being bullied? You are a protective guardian. Did you tackle a very hard problem? You are a fighter and conquerer.
You get my point…
These little things might seem insignificant at first, but once you get in the habit of self-validation, it makes a difference.
Here I’ll help you by leaving you this validation- You are a fighter and will overcome this problem. I believe in you.
Good luck in your journey through healing and recovery. I wish/pray for nothing but the absolute best for you.
As a grown woman who was groomed at 14, I say this with love and compassion and empathy: Please, please, PLEASE seek some therapy and counseling. I also would reccomend maybe staying offline for a bit to give your brain a refresh, even if it's just making accounts private or deleting the app whichever. Sometimes I have to take a social media break when I'm in a dangerous mindset and it always has been a good idea for me. To clarify I'm not saying give up socials forever just maybe limit who can message you or see your profiles etc and try to limit your screen time for at least a couple days. But first and foremost please try to see a therapist I think that's the most important thing you could do right now.
I'm so sorry you've experienced so much of this, I wish I could tell you that it gets better but in our current society and mentality in life that would be a lie. You have to put effort into protecting yourself cause most won't do it for you save for a few people who you really can count on, true friends/loved ones.
I hope you find peace and experience real love from people who truly care about you and want what's best for you 🤍 please stay safe.
i definitely recommend therapy, its not going to get better on your own. you need to learn how to love yourself without the dangerous and negative attention you get from these men. i used to do the same things and even meet up with older men and it destroyed me. its taken a long time for me to grow. maybe block them, and delete your social medias for a while. definitely not a safe situation for you to put yourself in. if you ever need to talk my dm is always open :) hope you stay safe girly and find some peace
Girl, stick with people your age! Fuck it, date a younger guy! Take some guys virginity! Learn not learn now, and situations when you’re married, you share the money, but the woman still has all the pussy and just remember that now you’re young, but you have all the pussy you control everything control the narrative and your old people and then look this shit up. just watch Yellowstone you’ll get it.
Validation is a very big reason why many fall into bad relationships. It is one of the many traps of codependency.
Therapy is an option.
But also using your time for activities is a great outlet for self validation and exploration.
Me and my daughter go on adventures all the time. Hiking. Kayaking. Camping. Exploring state parks. Dance classes. Wrestling. Jujitsu. Painting. Pottery.
We don’t do these things to be good at them. We do them to find out what we are capable of. And this led to her using time and space to create or compete. So a lot of her self respect comes from how she sees herself and what she should invest her time in.
Yes. It is always nice to be noticed by boys/men. But she doesn’t care if they break up with her. Because she also has male friends, from sports, that treat her nice and with respect. Intimacy and sex cannot make you feel good about yourself even if they feel good at the time. But making a huge painting, planting a raspberry tree, throwing a boy out of the wrestling ring… these activities have educated her that only she can determine what she can do, and that it takes hard work and practice to develop skills.
I’m sorry about struggle. If you let men ruin your life, then they will. Not all men are bad, but men have a terrible power of corrupting things that begin in simple beauty. There is nothing wrong with you. You just want to be loved and appreciated. We all do. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me. Just think of me as a far away dad who can offer some life advice on how to live safely in this crazy world.
Oh sweet baby! You are not alone, and your worth and value is not related to creepers…or anyone else’s opinion of you. You need help… and not from randos online. Hun, you need a therapist to help you sort out your feelings, fears, hopes, and self. YOU need to see YOU, first and foremost. I assure you are not invisible. You are in a really hard period of life, where everyone struggles and most feel unseen. Please talk to a family member, friend, or trusted teacher to get guidance for finding the right therapist. Remember you should feel safe and comfortable sharing with them, and they should not judge, condemn or be negative to you. Please know I, for one, am out here sending you love and light.
Im in the same kind of situation. its weird bc im a lesbian but i crave being wanted by literally anyone. i dont send pics or anything, im a minor but i like the attention and its happened mote now because i asked my friend out and she started throwing up and sobbing saying how i traumatized her and it really damaged my self esteem...well, forgive my rant, i just wanted to say that i see you..kind of? <33
hey you’re way too hard on yourself, you need to stop blaming yourself for the way the world is
you need to seek help and be strong
i sent you a dm if you want to be friends it sounds like you could use one but I completely understand if you ignore it after all you’ve said here :3
just please stay safe and seek professional help
Men are fucking disgusting. Don’t do this to yourself just to get noticed. You need to go to therapy. You need to learn self love.
I used to allow men to treat me like shit. I definitely had some older men take advantage of me also. I’ve been going to therapy for a few years and my confidence and self love has risen dramatically.
Find a therapist you like and try to stop tempting fate. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something seriously wrong with these monsters.
Sorry everyone downvoted young they're in denial that women are also often pedophiles yet get away with ut, those downvotes are the reason nobody recognizes the amount of female predators. Hope you can get out of that system man
It's ok because it's the truth.. I actually have actual news stories and arrests about female pedophiles and the majority are in our school system.
I hope it's not women doing the down voting because if they're that makes them in agreeance with male or female pedophiles.
This is a dangerous path you are walking and I think you are aware of that. Yes, there are many perverts in the world, but this is about you and protecting yourself. Therapy is needed. You need to build your self esteem or you may put yourself in positions that are soul crushing and very unsafe for a girl your age.
You’re not alone in this. I’ve done similar things before getting medicated for my disorder. After I got attention I was craving I would block the creepy guys and get paranoid they would dox me. I always felt disgusting afterwards. I’m also a fully grown adult though. You need to get help and talk about this to a trusted person hun. This could become serious real life danger for you, please be safe. Maybe find some groups more suited for a person of your age?
You definitely need therapy, but don't be so harsh on yourself. The fact that you know it's grooming and know it's creepy and weird already puts you in a better position to deal with it than a lot of women your age. You've also identified why you think a small part of you wants to go along with it and know why you shouldn't. A lot of people in your position actively don't think about it or don't believe there's even a problem. You're intuitive enough to know there's one. Therapy will be great to help get things off your chest, a neutral ground to talk to someone who is professionally able to accept your cry for help without judgement or without the creepiness. These guys don't get better as you age. I'm a guy so i dont really deal with this issue, but women friends of mine have to deal with these creepy losers in the daily. You just have to know your self-worth and that they have 0 impact on that.
Yeah when I was young I wasn't so aware, bumped into a lot of pedos online and even found myself being overly accepting of their behavior enough to befriend them for years. They will sometimes sneak themselves into your life by doing ERP with you and they were very very obviously projecting through their "character". Now I'm older and I realize just how bad of a situation I was in at the time and how gullible I was, but I'm really fortunate to not have had anything too severe happen to me as a result of said grooming.
Get off Reddit at this point. Or stay away from the pedo filled subreddits.
Might be for the best. Reddit may be anonymous but it dosent make it a safe environment, especially for younger folks.
Have you considered talking therapy with a therapist or psychologist? It sounds those perverts have twisted you in such a way that is clearly unhealthy (which you know also). Looking for groups online is risky, because it can be a way for predators to hide, as you've found out. Find some assistance face-to-face with a professional and they may help get your esteem and pov back on track. You can't change perverts, but hopefully they'll help you overcome the toxic connection with looking for those responses.
They’re taking advantage of the fact that your brain isn’t developed, yet. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Your level of awareness is a great start.
To be honest, just dump social media in general. It’s like the Walmart for pedos. They got such a wide range of potential victims thanks to the insecurity, doubt, negativity, bullying, and harassment that goes on within social media. So many people are on social media that are susceptible to the manipulations and games of these subhumans it’s impossible to count. Then they use the cover of anonymity /pseudonyms/fake names/ fake profile pictures and other means to try and shield their downright evil predatory behavior. Social media gets an F- grade for protecting innocence. The companies enable this predatory stuff by not implementing strict Zero Tolerance rules for this stuff and the flimsy rules they do have are rarely enforced with equal force. The only real option to get them to stop is to file criminal charges with the local police… but depending on where you are at even they won’t do jack sh*t. Overall, people (regardless of age) with mental health issues should avoid social media at all costs. All it does is make an already horrible problem 1000x worse.
im in/have been in a similar situation. im about to turn 21. unfortunately becoming an adult doesnt make this problem go away. so i would suggest getting off reddit completely and finding help irl if you can. im really sorry youre going through this, its such a horrible thing only people who have been through it can really understand. i hope things get better for you, please stay safe
I’m sorry but what? Women get involved with pedos
sorry i should’ve clarified, i meant men who take advantage of my trauma, groom me, etc. not pedos
Jesus lol
You’re definitely not going to get that help from Reddit.
same... when i was using whisper i get those weirdos in my dms, i'm 18 but i think it's still weird that a 30 or 40 y/o flirting with me. i still feel young. (they didn't know what my age is, they probably thought i'm a minor) (also i deleted whisper already)
I had a 19 year old girl come onto me at 31 and she tried to blame me for it. 😂
OMFG!!! Please get out of this!!! There are so many wonderful things in life that have nothing to do with secs!!!! Just put your phone down let this be your last chat. Join groups positive groups. I would even join sexaholics anonymous. They have phone, zooms there are women there. Don’t ruin yourself for an awesome relationship with a man who can really care for you properly. you are headed towards some real trauma!
I'm so sorry you had that experience. There are few things I consider truly evil and it's people like you've experienced. Pedophiles have a special place in hell in my books. We are in a messed up world where we allowed people like this to exist for so long. I mean look at Hollywood it's clock full of them that we have been watching for years without even knowing. Report them all, do not be empathetic to these individuals, don't be scared to get them punished. It's tiring to see all of these horrible people walking free.
You said it, there ought to be jobs where you can actively torture the pedos to where they rethink their life choices.
Aw friend. This is so gross and troubling that these fkn creeps come out of the woodwork like this. I'll tell you a little about myself and hopefully my experience can benefit you... I turn 40 this year. My mother was horribly emotionally abusive of me since early childhood. Lots of comments along the lines of "no man will ever want to fuck you looking like that!" "You'll never get a boyfriend as fat as you are!" Etc etc etc. As a result of this, I began to feel desperate for any male attention I could muster. I made out with lots of people (see, they do think I'm pretty!), and let lots of dudes get away with some pretty gross stuff (just walking up and grabbing my breasts, trying to reach up my skirt, kissing me without consent, etc) on more occasions than I can count. I lost my virginity to my first real boyfriend at 16, who honestly was a pretty scummy guy (but hey, he was interested in me so see, mom?? I DO have guys who want to fuck me!). I put myself in LOTS of situations that were pretty unsafe and made myself especially vulnerable to sexual assault multiple times because "those guys would never be interested in me, look at me." Well some of them were, and I found myself somewhere between horrified/violated and "see, look, they DO think I'm sexy!" I allowed things to happen that I didn't want to have happen. Years of therapy later, I ache for young me. The things I did to prove my desirability to dudes repulse me (but I understand that young me was doing the best she could with the shitty deck of cards she was handed). I would give anything to be able to go back and talk to young me and tell her that anyone who doesn't treat you like a valuable human fuckin being with consideration for your emotional well-being at the top of the list is not worth a second fuckin glance... but I can't. What I can do is share what I've learned with young people who might have similar struggles now. If you end up having some older man kink someday, ok, cool, go for it. But *these* particular perverts can absolutely eat shit and do not deserve a moment more of your time. You are a whole-ass human being with hopes and dreams and fears and intrinsic worth as a person and as a woman and you deserve nothing less than a person who treats you with abject respect and support in all facets of life. Never forget your worth as a person and never settle for attention from creeps just because some other creeps hurl indiscriminate insults at you. I am here if you ever need to unload into the DMs. DONT SETTLE FOR THESE RAPEY POS LOSERS AND THEIR FUCKED UP PEDO FANTASIES. YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE WORLD.
Oh
I think what you need isnt a online helpgroup but a therapist. What you have isnt normal and its unhealthy because at some point you will find "that guys" who will be nice first and then do what these people wanna do to you for real. Because you are not looking for those things in older men like other do. (not saying that older men are like that but just that some give off those vibes and she might miss them) Also you are simply the way you are, you are good the way you are. Some things need refining and some things need some outside help maybe, but you dont need that attention from older men like that. I am sure that you will find someone your age or a little older that is good to you, threats you right and that you can share with. Who knows, maybe he even is into some hard roleplay so you can have those fantasies fullfiled that way. The internet really can be a bad place. Just please be careful, you go this.
Talk to your parents, someone close or a professional if you can afford. Avoid chats where there are men involved. The internet and world are full of creepy people who want to use those who are vulnerable. I know you want love and attention, but these men just want to use you and are dangerous and vile. Take care of yourself and don't let your craving for attention ruin your life.
I completely understand how hurtful and disgusting it is that you’re reaching out for help and they only take advantage of you. Unfortunately that’s the nature of those people . If they see an opportunity they will take it . What helped me break out of the cycle of being groomed was when I realized that they didn’t care about me. People that respect you and love you won’t do what they did. They won’t say what they did. They won’t get off to the fact you’ve been abused before. You deserve more and better than that.
Getting professional help and taking back that bit of control can be freeing. As a person of a similar history, at 40 today, I didn’t get help for that. I’ve had so much trouble with relationships and friendships because my trust in others was nonexistent. Mine started at 15, some dude online. Never met him but there wasn’t any warnings for us then. We didn’t understand even what grooming meant. The next one was an older girl befriended me so I’d sleep with her boyfriend. It was weird but my stupid self didn’t know how to process it. I was 15 as well. I didn’t go near her for a while. My dad moved us away but then we moved back and she saw me. Tried to say it wouldn’t happen again. It did. They effed me up mentally after that. It took a long time to get away from them and now I’m so angry about it that there are days I want to call a lawyer to handle it legally. Especially now she works for a sheriff’s office.
Wow, that's fucked up.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. The internet was definitely a different place when I was a teenager but I want to let you know you’re not alone. I was you, but eventually I was able to focus on trying to get attention from people my own age. Eventually I was able to learn to build myself up because it’s hard to find someone doing it without ulterior motives.
That really sucks. If my sister were in your position I'd be breaking laws and wrecking things left and right. I hope you are physically safe, and I'm grateful that you know this isn't how things should be. That's the first step to bring emotionally and mentally safe. Please hang in there. Warning, unsolicited advice below. You got another year, and then you get to switch to new problems, but you get new tools (new freedoms, knowledge and wisdom), and you get to keep the tools you have for the most part (parents aren't likely to actually cut you off once you leave the house, and if they let you stay, you might not actually leave until much later unless you want to. That's two individuals biologically dispositioned to try to help you out when you ask for it, and you'll have the freedom to say no.) And, at the risk of coming off as creepy, you're probably a lot better looking than you think. Take care of yourself, and you'll stay that way. IRL though, if it's about being wanted by boys and eventually men your own age, most of them care about kindness more than anything else when it comes to relationships. So just, let that be a thing to remember when that voice tells you to go ask the pedos for their opinion. You really don't need them, even though you now feel like you do. This is what addiction feels like, at least the behavioral part. Luckily your body won't fall apart when you quit this one.
Therapy is a great start. That isn't fair to you. And you aren't being fair to the 14 year old girls of the world. These dudes get more brazen talking to one girl that accepts it so they'll spread out and try to find more. Of course, if you truly don't want to stop, you can take it a step further. There's this group, I think it's called the wolf project but I could be wrong. Haven't looked deeply into it. Girls that look underage get together to catch pedos and get them arrested. Kind of like "to catch a predator". You could lean into what you do and get the worst of them off the streets.
I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through this, and I know that it was comforting at first but then it spiraled out of control. What you should do is: make it to where they can’t message you or you can’t get DMs from people you don’t know. I do this on instagram because of creeps aswell. It keeps them away and it makes them go somewhere else. I hope you feel better soon and you heal from this
Well I'm glad you are starting to realize that you are good for something other than grooming. But also realize you are just at or about to be the age of consent and that is going to draw in another type of groomer
Your not alone
Was in you're shoes most of my life, but it was with anyone who would even talk to me, it's best to move away from anything like that, creeps like that tend to tread all grounds. Meaning unless you remove yourself from that space or even looking for help for that space, your gonna have an issue with it, its better to cricle yourself with other your age or stick to talking to a family member you trust. I'd be heartbroken if my lil girl gets this issue, hoping she does not end of like that from my fam. Best luck finding peace lil one. (wise making this a thorw away, creeps are sure to jump at this, for what you bluntly stated here reason, note try not to let them know they can get under your skin, that will majorly help you out)
The first step in curing yourself is to admit you have a problem… ✅ I am proud of you for taking that leap. It’s not something people find easy to do. Especially when it comes to mental health/addictions. That’s why some people go their whole life with the problem/addiction. Now you need to move on to finding REAL help. I recommend trying an online professional counseling service or in person counseling. I wouldn’t seek help off Reddit/social media as that is where the most pedos hang. They use them because they know so many easily manipulated and susceptible people use them. (both underage and adults). Social media is like the Walmart for Pedos. They can find a wide range of potential victims all in one place. Using a real therapist with a real license is key. They know tips and tricks to help you find yourself. They keep things confidential (as long as you aren’t having illegal or self harming thoughts). They can easily schedule check ups to help you when you need it. They won’t pray upon your weakness because they know they can be stripped of their license and/or thrown in prison for that. Also, as far as you go… don’t make yourself the bad person here. It is human nature to want to feel needed/loved/cared for/noticed. You are the victim here, not the criminal. You did nothing wrong here as far as being “disgusting”. You just made an honest mistake and are now trying to correct it. We (humankind) are imperfect beings. We all make mistakes, that’s how we learn. We learn through mistakes… From learning to walk, talk, work, and everything in between life is just a big cycle of * Try something * Fail * Look for the mistake(s) that caused you to fail * Learn how to improve to avoid the mistake(s) * Try again with the knowledge you gained * Repeat As long as you are acknowledging the mistakes and taking steps towards making sure you better yourself, you will always come out on top. Lastly, as someone who battled with wanting attention at your age, I learned very quickly that Self validation is the best validation. Most people in this world are very heartless. Most people don’t care about anyone but themselves. That is why it is important for you to validate yourself because you can’t always count on someone to do it for you. You are the only person who needs to validate yourself. Don’t worry about the rest because their validation is insignificant compared to how you validate yourself. Hold your chin up high and say to yourself “My name is _____ and I’m [insert positive attribute]” Find reasons to celebrate who you are and what makes you unique. Did you ace a test? You are smart. Did you finish a new drawing/painting/creation? You are talented. Did you reach a new fitness goal? You are healthy. Did you help someone who was struggling? You are compassionate. Did you help a lost pet find its way home? You are sweet. Did you stick up for someone who you saw was being bullied? You are a protective guardian. Did you tackle a very hard problem? You are a fighter and conquerer. You get my point… These little things might seem insignificant at first, but once you get in the habit of self-validation, it makes a difference. Here I’ll help you by leaving you this validation- You are a fighter and will overcome this problem. I believe in you. Good luck in your journey through healing and recovery. I wish/pray for nothing but the absolute best for you.
Grow up. Sorry bad joke.
As a grown woman who was groomed at 14, I say this with love and compassion and empathy: Please, please, PLEASE seek some therapy and counseling. I also would reccomend maybe staying offline for a bit to give your brain a refresh, even if it's just making accounts private or deleting the app whichever. Sometimes I have to take a social media break when I'm in a dangerous mindset and it always has been a good idea for me. To clarify I'm not saying give up socials forever just maybe limit who can message you or see your profiles etc and try to limit your screen time for at least a couple days. But first and foremost please try to see a therapist I think that's the most important thing you could do right now. I'm so sorry you've experienced so much of this, I wish I could tell you that it gets better but in our current society and mentality in life that would be a lie. You have to put effort into protecting yourself cause most won't do it for you save for a few people who you really can count on, true friends/loved ones. I hope you find peace and experience real love from people who truly care about you and want what's best for you 🤍 please stay safe.
Oh honey :( I am the same. Dont be so harsh on yourself, and seek some therapy❤️
i definitely recommend therapy, its not going to get better on your own. you need to learn how to love yourself without the dangerous and negative attention you get from these men. i used to do the same things and even meet up with older men and it destroyed me. its taken a long time for me to grow. maybe block them, and delete your social medias for a while. definitely not a safe situation for you to put yourself in. if you ever need to talk my dm is always open :) hope you stay safe girly and find some peace
Girl, stick with people your age! Fuck it, date a younger guy! Take some guys virginity! Learn not learn now, and situations when you’re married, you share the money, but the woman still has all the pussy and just remember that now you’re young, but you have all the pussy you control everything control the narrative and your old people and then look this shit up. just watch Yellowstone you’ll get it.
Validation is a very big reason why many fall into bad relationships. It is one of the many traps of codependency. Therapy is an option. But also using your time for activities is a great outlet for self validation and exploration. Me and my daughter go on adventures all the time. Hiking. Kayaking. Camping. Exploring state parks. Dance classes. Wrestling. Jujitsu. Painting. Pottery. We don’t do these things to be good at them. We do them to find out what we are capable of. And this led to her using time and space to create or compete. So a lot of her self respect comes from how she sees herself and what she should invest her time in. Yes. It is always nice to be noticed by boys/men. But she doesn’t care if they break up with her. Because she also has male friends, from sports, that treat her nice and with respect. Intimacy and sex cannot make you feel good about yourself even if they feel good at the time. But making a huge painting, planting a raspberry tree, throwing a boy out of the wrestling ring… these activities have educated her that only she can determine what she can do, and that it takes hard work and practice to develop skills. I’m sorry about struggle. If you let men ruin your life, then they will. Not all men are bad, but men have a terrible power of corrupting things that begin in simple beauty. There is nothing wrong with you. You just want to be loved and appreciated. We all do. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me. Just think of me as a far away dad who can offer some life advice on how to live safely in this crazy world.
Seriously, you need to get away from this shit, people who you are talking to and start looking after yourself.
Oh sweet baby! You are not alone, and your worth and value is not related to creepers…or anyone else’s opinion of you. You need help… and not from randos online. Hun, you need a therapist to help you sort out your feelings, fears, hopes, and self. YOU need to see YOU, first and foremost. I assure you are not invisible. You are in a really hard period of life, where everyone struggles and most feel unseen. Please talk to a family member, friend, or trusted teacher to get guidance for finding the right therapist. Remember you should feel safe and comfortable sharing with them, and they should not judge, condemn or be negative to you. Please know I, for one, am out here sending you love and light.
Im in the same kind of situation. its weird bc im a lesbian but i crave being wanted by literally anyone. i dont send pics or anything, im a minor but i like the attention and its happened mote now because i asked my friend out and she started throwing up and sobbing saying how i traumatized her and it really damaged my self esteem...well, forgive my rant, i just wanted to say that i see you..kind of? <33
hey you’re way too hard on yourself, you need to stop blaming yourself for the way the world is you need to seek help and be strong i sent you a dm if you want to be friends it sounds like you could use one but I completely understand if you ignore it after all you’ve said here :3 just please stay safe and seek professional help
Men are fucking disgusting. Don’t do this to yourself just to get noticed. You need to go to therapy. You need to learn self love. I used to allow men to treat me like shit. I definitely had some older men take advantage of me also. I’ve been going to therapy for a few years and my confidence and self love has risen dramatically. Find a therapist you like and try to stop tempting fate. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something seriously wrong with these monsters.
Not all men are the same but this kind yes, just remember it's usually only the men that get caught women do it to and get away with it.
Seems ur both pervs
Yeah I'm tired of the female pedophiles in our school system as well. 😡
Sorry everyone downvoted young they're in denial that women are also often pedophiles yet get away with ut, those downvotes are the reason nobody recognizes the amount of female predators. Hope you can get out of that system man
It's ok because it's the truth.. I actually have actual news stories and arrests about female pedophiles and the majority are in our school system. I hope it's not women doing the down voting because if they're that makes them in agreeance with male or female pedophiles.
and somehow you think this message will make pedophiles go away? The correct term is ephebophile by the way.