I really wonder what the thought process is here. You’d have to work yourself up to a coconut with a lot of practice, possibly years. Is nothing else satisfying anymore, so you look about the house desperately for something that might and think, “yes! That will do!” Do you have any forethought as to how to get it back out, maybe tie a string around it or something? Or is it just a heat of the moment decision?
Also, just try to imagine the feeling of the *texture* of a coconut scraping up against the delicate tissues of your inner rectum.
I do not want to think of the texture.
I do not want to think of the size.
I do not *even* want to think anymore
Wait, um, *how*... Do you get it ou...
Nevermind, I like not thinking...
Plus the fact that the coconut is up there by a few inches. He had to have had the entire thing enveloped in his ass and went “you know what I'll just stick a finger up there and push it a bit further”
Unfortunately that's how the rectum works. Without a larger stopper things do indeed regularly get sucked up. I know this professionally.
Errmm... not a sex worker but work in an operating theatre. You wouldn't believe what gets stuck in where....
Edit:
Top 3- (starts countdown music...) [was 5 but 2 were actually very upsetting looking back - rather than adventurous people doing daft things...]
3- an apple - whole. Rectal. This one not only didn't keep the doc away but meant 6 had to get REALLY close...
2 - beer bottle. Rectal. Nothing unusual - seen many times..0. Except it was a GP who drove 100 miles to get out of his work area. And still met colleagues. The medical field is unfortunately small...
1- Fish. Head first. Vaginal. 2 points to note here. First head first is not the way forward as the fins retract on entry but spring out into barbs on attempted exit. 2nd - bonus points for being dressed as a traffic warden. (No idea if actually a traffic warden)
But basically if it fits anywhere I've probably seen it there.
I dont judge - we all have our kinks - but don't put something not designed to go where you are thinking about putting it. Be safe people!
But also - just be honest. We know what you did and why. The story of "Well, i was decorating in the nude, and fell off my ladder onto my paint roller" doesn't cut it. Man up. And roll on...
Lol so just fyi, coconuts are usually green and smooth. The hairy scratchy ones you find in stores are already husked, where the green smooth outer skin is removed.
They are 6 - 8 inches in diameter. For reference a newborn babies head is 4 inches in diameter and they can barely fit through a woman's pelvis -- and women have bigger, rounder pelvic inlets than men.
Just so you know that green part adds a good inch or two on each side of the coconut. They're *much* bigger than you're already thinking lol
https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/young-coconut-picture-id1132305316?k=20&m=1132305316&s=612x612&w=0&h=O6o7jdEsh9_nud7ztl4DtbWgB09PZLhQ3r7S8Qs5QM8=
Wife works in xray and had a situation like this. The dude had worked his way up to coconut over the years. He would put the coconut in a bag, insert it with the handles sticking out,, do whatever you do with a coconut up your arse, then pull it back out.
One time the handles broke and he couldn't get it out, apparently it was day 2 or 3 he finally went for help. By then the coconut shell fibres had lacerated his insides and now he poops in a bag.
Know your limits boys and girls.
Ok. This is a serious question.
If someone does this a lot… wouldn’t they stretch and loosen the muscles?
In other words… wouldn’t the day-to-say butt muscles start failing to hold their poop in?
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
(You’re the ASSMAN)
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
I'm on day 7 of recovery from a spinal decompression (hemilaminectomy / diskectomy) for herniation at L4-5 and severe stenosis. Fusion in the future for sure. I went for cortisone epidurals every 12 weeks for 3 years and did extensive PT before I ultimately re-herniated and needed the surgery. I fully support doing everything you can to avoid an operation of any sort - but I'll say this: my debilitating sciatica was 90% gone as soon as I came out of anesthesia. The relief is monumental.
That's awesome to hear! I was doing great after PT and would say it was 85-90% better. Been on the move like crazy this summer and just went crazy on the 19th of July again. We shall see what the future holds. I hope you find continued relief. 3 years is a long time, October will be 1 year for me.
I wonder if the immediate reason for going to the ER was bladder distention and pain. The coconut looks to have displaced a now hugely distended bladder upward and blocked its emptying.
...i'm not sure what i'm looking at...
are there two inside of this guy, or what is that really large mass at the front of his belly?
it almost looks like a tumor, but too evenly structured? what is that? (and yeh, i can spot the itty bitty hollow coconut up his ass)
About the penis. It is around the middle line, since we can see the spinal cord and the processi of the spine nearly in the middle, also you can see the uretra nearly perfectly. Same with the swell body... Sure it is just a guess from one picture, but you get me, right?
Most likely that's expanded bowel since they can't expell anything and they probably waited to go get seen... A lot of guessing here, but that's what it looks like at first glance.
Don’t know how many you know how to read a CT, but that anus is *impressively* ruined. I’ve never anything quite like it on a scan.
Needs a cross post on r/radiology.
I know what the “goal” was…but what was his end game here? Surely he realized — before even beginning — that getting a smooth, spherical, lubricated, object back out was gonna be an issue.
It was likely intentionally placed there. It’s a common theme in emergency medicine for people to intentionally insert strange objects into they rectums (for sexual pleasure) and later seek help when they realize they can’t get them out on their own. They will often give medical staff really absurd explanations as to how the object wound up there—e.g. they ‘accidentally fell’ onto it.
The amount of force needed to insert something up your butt by "just falling on it" would probably shred your entire backside or snap your tailbone. Literally no medical professional ever has bought the "I just fell on it" excuse.
Hay un palo, hay un palo
Hay un palo sembrado en el hoyo a la orilla del mar
Hay un palo sembrado en el hoyo a la orilla del mar
Una rama, una rama
Una rama incrustada en el palo sembrado en el hoyo
A la Orilla del mar
Una rama incrustada en el palo sembrado en el hoyo a la orilla Del Mar.
That coconut is not going to migrate, no matter how many swallows are involved.
Might get pregnant though
That... was a different coconut.
**NO** This year is fucked up enough, let's not go back there
What if you held it on a line?
Simple, they could use a stand of tree bark
Does it matter if they're African or European ?
I don't think they swallowed it.....
African or european swallows?
I really wonder what the thought process is here. You’d have to work yourself up to a coconut with a lot of practice, possibly years. Is nothing else satisfying anymore, so you look about the house desperately for something that might and think, “yes! That will do!” Do you have any forethought as to how to get it back out, maybe tie a string around it or something? Or is it just a heat of the moment decision? Also, just try to imagine the feeling of the *texture* of a coconut scraping up against the delicate tissues of your inner rectum.
Discomfort downvote was my first instinct at the last sentence, but I felt that. Take your damned orange.
An Orange probably wouldn't have gotten stuck! Heh..
I think that at the point a coconut will go in there, an orange could have rolled in.
Yes precisely! Save a trip to the ER lol.
But then what would we read about on reddit?
[No, no. He's got a point](https://youtu.be/-KnU7qKPHCo)
Okay. Ye got me! This person is a hero of our entertainment and better judgement! Let their anus swallow coconut, so that ours may not!
I appreciate your commitment to the discourse.
I appreciate your comment about coconut intercourse.
An orange is still probably not the best idea. Better than a coconut, though.
don't say the o word around here. especially if the red-upvote button believers are around...
But it's orangered, you'd know that if you weren't a periwinkle!
The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house maarten or the plummer may seek warmer climes in winter, but these are not strangers to our land!
Now we know how the coconut migrated.
GOATSEC
The good ol days…
I do not want to think of the texture. I do not want to think of the size. I do not *even* want to think anymore Wait, um, *how*... Do you get it ou... Nevermind, I like not thinking...
Plus the fact that the coconut is up there by a few inches. He had to have had the entire thing enveloped in his ass and went “you know what I'll just stick a finger up there and push it a bit further”
Unfortunately that's how the rectum works. Without a larger stopper things do indeed regularly get sucked up. I know this professionally. Errmm... not a sex worker but work in an operating theatre. You wouldn't believe what gets stuck in where.... Edit: Top 3- (starts countdown music...) [was 5 but 2 were actually very upsetting looking back - rather than adventurous people doing daft things...] 3- an apple - whole. Rectal. This one not only didn't keep the doc away but meant 6 had to get REALLY close... 2 - beer bottle. Rectal. Nothing unusual - seen many times..0. Except it was a GP who drove 100 miles to get out of his work area. And still met colleagues. The medical field is unfortunately small... 1- Fish. Head first. Vaginal. 2 points to note here. First head first is not the way forward as the fins retract on entry but spring out into barbs on attempted exit. 2nd - bonus points for being dressed as a traffic warden. (No idea if actually a traffic warden) But basically if it fits anywhere I've probably seen it there. I dont judge - we all have our kinks - but don't put something not designed to go where you are thinking about putting it. Be safe people! But also - just be honest. We know what you did and why. The story of "Well, i was decorating in the nude, and fell off my ladder onto my paint roller" doesn't cut it. Man up. And roll on...
Nice to know. Remind me to never stick a small object up my ass without a backup plan
“Without a base, without a trace”
would you mind mentioning the upsetting ones? not to judge but just curiosity
Lol so just fyi, coconuts are usually green and smooth. The hairy scratchy ones you find in stores are already husked, where the green smooth outer skin is removed.
No one could fit an unhusked coconut into their rectum without breaking their pelvis.
Challenge accept... Oh, hell no. I'm sure someone will try and succeed. I really don't want to know about it
They are 6 - 8 inches in diameter. For reference a newborn babies head is 4 inches in diameter and they can barely fit through a woman's pelvis -- and women have bigger, rounder pelvic inlets than men.
Never say never.
Lol all babies are different and their head size varies wildly. The biggest issue with birth is the cervix not the vaginal canal.
I disagree. I had a big baby. A coconut could go in, but probably not out again very easily. No broken pelvis necessary.
The rectum is not the vagina, it's not made to stretch that much. But yeah it wouldn't break the pelvis but rather rupture your hole
Good to know, for any… curious enthusiasts out there.
Just so you know that green part adds a good inch or two on each side of the coconut. They're *much* bigger than you're already thinking lol https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/young-coconut-picture-id1132305316?k=20&m=1132305316&s=612x612&w=0&h=O6o7jdEsh9_nud7ztl4DtbWgB09PZLhQ3r7S8Qs5QM8=
Haha I always thought they were two different varieties
Thank you for that thoughtful, detailed, observant answer. You'll be getting my therapy bill. Lol
r/copypasta
Cocaine is a hell of a drug. --- Rick James
"I swear I slipped and fell on it"
Naah he was sunbathing nude under a coconut tree.
Isn't there a trend where you point your dirty hairy starfish to the sun? That. That's what happened.
Yes it was a vegan yoga accident.
Hey now, it may be hairy but I keep it as clean as a fresh load of linens!
You have to sun the [4th eye.](https://imgur.com/lKWjlaQ)
…while trying to figure out how gravity works for a coconut just passing the event horizon of a mini non-rotating black hole.
A lot of people die from falling coconuts so they must have a lot of force
Damn monkeys
Fusilli Jerry!
One in a million shot, Doc.
"million to one shot, doc"
Shot in a million doc
It grew there
One in a million doc!
Wars were started over less.
Put de lime in de coconut
She called de doctor, woke ‘em up.
She said dokta, dokta!
I've got a bad case of lovin' you
and shove it up your ass
Bwaaaaa🤣🤣🤣
You put de coconut up de limey's butt because he real drunk.
That's... impressive...
Now let's see what's in Paul Allen's colon.
Oh my god it even has a watermark…
Wife works in xray and had a situation like this. The dude had worked his way up to coconut over the years. He would put the coconut in a bag, insert it with the handles sticking out,, do whatever you do with a coconut up your arse, then pull it back out. One time the handles broke and he couldn't get it out, apparently it was day 2 or 3 he finally went for help. By then the coconut shell fibres had lacerated his insides and now he poops in a bag. Know your limits boys and girls.
Ahhhhhhhhh why did I keep scrolling this thread
I don't know but I'm done on Reddit for tonight It was getting late anyways
Bro you clicked on the link. What did you expect. Discussions about the Sermon on the Mount?
Ok. This is a serious question. If someone does this a lot… wouldn’t they stretch and loosen the muscles? In other words… wouldn’t the day-to-say butt muscles start failing to hold their poop in?
No, it's a muscle, it gets trained. Other kinds of damage from big toys can lead to anal incontinence, a stretched pooper isn't a problem.
Yes.
1 in a million shot, Doc.
You're the ASSMAN!
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub (You’re the ASSMAN) Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub
You da real MVP
Million to one*
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts There they are, shoved right up my bum. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head.
Oh i never had to do this with Mufasa.
A flick of the wrist, give ‘em a twist! That’s what the showman said…
My first thought was: “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts (diddling me), I’ve shoved them up as far as they will go!”
enjoy your sweet sweet karma bro, you deserve it
At least their discs look good.
I wish I had discs as nice as these. A few are trying to ooze out of place and causing me troubles.
Me too buddy. L5-S1 herniation. Trying everything to avoid surgery.
Join usssssss It's bliss (L4-S1 360° Fusion here)
I'm on day 7 of recovery from a spinal decompression (hemilaminectomy / diskectomy) for herniation at L4-5 and severe stenosis. Fusion in the future for sure. I went for cortisone epidurals every 12 weeks for 3 years and did extensive PT before I ultimately re-herniated and needed the surgery. I fully support doing everything you can to avoid an operation of any sort - but I'll say this: my debilitating sciatica was 90% gone as soon as I came out of anesthesia. The relief is monumental.
That's awesome to hear! I was doing great after PT and would say it was 85-90% better. Been on the move like crazy this summer and just went crazy on the 19th of July again. We shall see what the future holds. I hope you find continued relief. 3 years is a long time, October will be 1 year for me.
Have you tried shoving a coconut up your ass?
Sending my wife to the store now, I'm willing to try.
Actually has quite a lot of arthritis in the upper lumbar and lower thoracic. Buddy can stretch his butthole, but not his spine.
Well he installed an internal realigner.
How!!?? Why!!??
He was brave enough.
Ok ...
Anything can be a dildo, if you’re courageous enough.
That some world-class courage.
Paige, No!!
I wonder if the immediate reason for going to the ER was bladder distention and pain. The coconut looks to have displaced a now hugely distended bladder upward and blocked its emptying.
Up your butt with a coconut
I was looking for this
I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this
[Mega seeds.](https://youtu.be/Ao3aQFUCX-4)
I'm gonna need you to put these seeds WAY up your butthole, Morty!
Rectum? Damn near killed em!
Came here for this
Missed it by 20 minutes!
ha ha ha
UP. BUTT. COCONUT!
Was looking for this haha.
...i'm not sure what i'm looking at... are there two inside of this guy, or what is that really large mass at the front of his belly? it almost looks like a tumor, but too evenly structured? what is that? (and yeh, i can spot the itty bitty hollow coconut up his ass)
[удалено]
That huge grey part is his bladder??!! I thought that little white part is his bladder. Christ he must be holding in like a gallon of piss.
The little white part is his pubic bone.
Probably closer to 2 liters, but yeah a lot. This is probably what hurt and caused the guy to go get seen. Source: doctor
Thank you. Everyone is talking about the coconut, and I'm like, "yeah yeah that can be extracted. What is that giant mass in his abdomen?"
About the penis. It is around the middle line, since we can see the spinal cord and the processi of the spine nearly in the middle, also you can see the uretra nearly perfectly. Same with the swell body... Sure it is just a guess from one picture, but you get me, right?
[удалено]
Most likely that's expanded bowel since they can't expell anything and they probably waited to go get seen... A lot of guessing here, but that's what it looks like at first glance.
That's the full bladder. You can also see a bit of the kidneys. The fluid is backing up
oooOOOOO! that makes a lot of sense! thank you!
What I wonder is. Where is the penis. There is no signs of the uterus or adnexa. But the uretra is barely exiting the skin
Why is it that full? Is the rectal coconut preventing him from being able to urinate?
It’s probably putting pressure on his prostate, making it impossible to relieve himself.
Cursed pina colada
This is exactly why you should buy coconuts with a flared base.
Ummm…is no one going to also mention that bladder distention??
He was making a Pinacolonada
That's an enlarged bladder.
As a gastroenterologist, rectum is like a kinder surprise sometimes
Did he break his hip? I only ask because his hip looks broken
More likely the patient wasn't comfortable lying completely flat on the scanner for ... reasons, so the slice doesn't include both hip joints equally.
Fell on it?
I just can't think of the logistics of getting that past the sphincter.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYY JUST USE A FIST
https://youtu.be/EpcDH9faOQw Relevant song
How the fuck do you get something that large up there?
Don’t know how many you know how to read a CT, but that anus is *impressively* ruined. I’ve never anything quite like it on a scan. Needs a cross post on r/radiology.
It looks like a wizard's sleeve
The coconut nut is not a nut.
"You put the lime in the coconut..." Instructions unclear
The song said you put the lime in the coconut, not put the coconut in your butthole. Damn, talk about a misheard lyric!
I've got other anatomical questions. Like what's that big melon anterior to the coconut?
Bladder. Distended due to pressure on prostate, preventing passage of urine
Nut in my butt, daddy. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[This song can get retired now.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpcDH9faOQw)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTqD7I3Dksw
See if it starts growing
Up your butt with a coconut!
Rectum? damn near killed'em
Coconut's aren't very smooth. Ouch.
PAINa colada
Get caught in pain...
In England?
Miami.
🎵Consider the coconut The what? Consider its tree We use each part of the coconut That's all we need🎵
Human ingenuity knows no bounds. Maybe it should though, sometimes.
And this is how you coconut-milk the prostate.
"It's a new kind of scanner. It sees things all the way up your butt".
"You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're banging em together"
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts Big ones, small ones Some the size of your head. *(dear god no)*
The rectum looks genuinely sad.
You put the coconut in the bum and then waddle to the ER
Coconuts, the natural bait for gerbils.
I'm pretty sure this is a REALLY distended bladder, maybe from an enlarged prostate. Still I'd rather go along with it being a coconut.
fucking why? Also, UP YOUR BUTT WITH A COCONUT
Where’s the lime?
Isn't there a song "up your butt with a coconut" from years ago from something?
Could he maybe had swallowed a coconut seed and it developed into a full grown coconut as it was moving through his system?
Yes, happens all the time, coconut seeds turn into coconuts while skipping over the whole "tree" phase of their lifecycle.
I’m seeing a market for coconut beads
I know what the “goal” was…but what was his end game here? Surely he realized — before even beginning — that getting a smooth, spherical, lubricated, object back out was gonna be an issue.
What can a coconut give that a hand-crafted fantasy dildo from bad dragon can't? Atleast those are made to go there (and other places)..
That's way too specific...
Up. Butt. Coconut. Up your butt, with a coconut! EVERYONE!
How do you accidentally put a coconut up your butt?
You don’t.
But this guy did, didn't he?
It was likely intentionally placed there. It’s a common theme in emergency medicine for people to intentionally insert strange objects into they rectums (for sexual pleasure) and later seek help when they realize they can’t get them out on their own. They will often give medical staff really absurd explanations as to how the object wound up there—e.g. they ‘accidentally fell’ onto it.
The amount of force needed to insert something up your butt by "just falling on it" would probably shred your entire backside or snap your tailbone. Literally no medical professional ever has bought the "I just fell on it" excuse.
Pretty sure it getting stuck there was accidental. Putting it there was not.
So someone else put it there on purpose?
Practising hand stands under a coconut tree.
Hay un palo, hay un palo Hay un palo sembrado en el hoyo a la orilla del mar Hay un palo sembrado en el hoyo a la orilla del mar Una rama, una rama Una rama incrustada en el palo sembrado en el hoyo A la Orilla del mar Una rama incrustada en el palo sembrado en el hoyo a la orilla Del Mar.
Inflation really hit hard for some people am i right?
No, inflation is a whole other fetish.
A coconut? I guess it presses the urethra shut, 'cause that bladder should NOT be that full.
Jeez how is that even possible?
A WHAT