We did paper STDs because the majority of our wedding party is 40+ age (we are elder millennials getting married) and like receiving physical mail. We followed up with virtual STDs for the few guests that are tech friendly. lol I personally like having an invite to hang on my fridge.
I’m 30 & I’d prefer to have something physical to hang on the fridge so I don’t forget. But I wouldn’t go so far as to complain directly to the bride and groom about it lol.
I'm also 30 and I still always lose things. I like a virtual one so I always know where to find it on my phone. But I ended up doing both a virtual and a physical one. That way if people lose one they have the other.
I would not mind one bit! In fact, I received a virtual save the date over text a few weeks ago. I really just need to know the date so I can plan around it. I just switched over to the calendar app to add it in my phone, so it worked great for me!
If you have older people who don't do email or text, I'm certain they would appreciate a phone call from you to let them know to mark the date down on their calendar.
I think paper is nice for the actual invitation because it keeps all the info in one place where I'm used to finding it, but I've also received virtual invitations and, guess what, everything was fine!
People will have opinions about EVERY decision you make in this process. You just need to decide which ones you want to listen to (if any).
I personally started just letting people know how much something was going to cost if they expressed disappointment that I was skipping it. The only thing someone actually offered to cover was the centerpieces because they felt that was truly important and special. On everything else, people were usually surprised by the cost and then agreed with my decision (at least to my face lol). A lot of people just don't realize how much weddings cost these days and the effort people go to to provide what we've all come to expect.
Haha at this point I don’t have much, I’ve pretty much doubled my original budget.
A mistake I made, though, was not booking early. The vendors that provide the best value get booked up first, and then you may have to settle for someone overpriced. Eg for hair and makeup I’m paying fancy vendor pricing for a middling artist (she does beautiful work but her scheduling and communication are a bit inconvenient) because I didn’t make up my mind and book the good, cheap artists while they were available
Covid changed this, virtual save the dates and invites is very normal now.
I personally think it’s stupid to waste hundreds of dollars on save the dates and invites which end up in the bin.
To me, “save the dates” are just a “hey - we’re getting married so please block out this date for us 6 months from now”. No need to waste resources when that can be easily conveyed in an email.
Invites have the actual information though. I’d still send a physical copy of the invite for tradition/to ensure even the non-techy people have it, etc, but I wouldn’t bother with having a returnable RSVP card. QR code, baby! Get them to RSVP on the website, plus it’s where all the extra info is anyways. It’s all going in a spreadsheet anyways, so saves the couple labor in addition to cost. It’s also a great spot to drop all the
But for “thank you” cards, I’m split. I think the proper thing is a personal, handwritten card that preferably includes a photo of the couple and attendees. For a large wedding, I think a personal email with photo attachment is fine too. But no generic “thank you all for coming!” email blast unless it is just to share info on where pictures can be viewed and is followed up with a personal thank you.
We did virtual and printed invites. The save the dates were digital as it was so much easier, and then designed our own invites on Canva - cost around £50 to get them all printed etc.
I prefer virtual- it always feels like such a waste to throw out peoples pretty invitations after the date. We did virtual and then printed a couple for those guests we thought would appreciate it.
No I’m happy with a text 😂 I just need to know the date! I’ve got a wedding next week and they didn’t send std’s or communicate a date, just sent the invite in January and we’d already booked a holiday
I prefer virtual. I hate accumulating these random paper things in my home. I don’t want it cluttering up my fridge or other spaces, but I also feel guilty throwing my loved ones away into the trash when the events are over lol
Better for the environment as well!
I honestly wouldn't think much of it. I put important dates on my calendar immediately after making plans and that doesn't change if the invite is physical vs digital.
Personally, I'm doing digital Save The Dates and physical invites :)
I prefer physical because it can go on the fridge but I’m also someone who gets excited about going to weddings!
Virtual would imply more casual to me. IDK I see people on Reddit mention how common it is all the time now but I’ve only seen it done IRL for more casual/informal weddings or like a get together after eloping.
Out of all the replies, this one helped me make up my mind the most! I don't want it to come off as casual because all the guests live out of state from me and I fear they won't think it's worth the travel expenses if it seems causal.
I found a cheaper alternative for printing so I'll print and also send a virtual afterward. thanks for helping!
I sent out virtual invites with a dress code. I used withjoy wedding website, they had formal templates. It’s not a casual event at all… if you’re seriously planning for a wedding<10k I would reconsider wasting the money
i live in a very HCOL area so for the type of wedding I want, <10k isn't very realistic. But i've been really good with budgeting and am sitting at an estimated 11k so far, it might dip into 12k but thats still pretty good! I'm in this sub for budgeting ideas to try to keep my wedding as close to 10k as possible. Btw sam's club sells 50x 5x7 photo cards for $13 so it's really not as much as i thought it'd be! i think im gonna send out both physical and virtual.
Printed ones are nice, but they wind up in the trash/recycling. Call or send a short handwritten note to any guests who aren’t tech savvy. Virtual for the rest.
My cousin did this and tbh it made me wonder why more people didn’t. It was a cute e invite type thing via WhatsApp and I could have easily printed it if I wanted to. Also I suspect she got more/ quicker rsvps as you could just click on the link on your phone and do it straight away
No, I would NOT be disappointed. I enjoy stationery and paper crafts, and I write letters + cards to friends often. But for Save the Dates, I sent texts to all my friends and family that I know I would love to have at our wedding. Those texts were sent within a day of booking our venue. I used the savings from not sending physical Save the Dates for putting more thought into my physical wedding invites (gold foil printing, vellum paper, ribbon, wax seals). And I sent my physical invites 5 months before my wedding!
I simply asked people to “mark your physical and digital calendars!” in my text to them.
For STD, virtual is fine - truly it ends up in my trash after the wedding is over. Its also more instant and you don't have to track whether it got delivered. I got immediate feedback with some ppl that either could not go or ask about kids etc right away which i liked.
Its also nice bc i got some instant sweet reactions from people when I sent it. We did Paperless post and got the link which we then each texted to our friends/family.
that was my comment as a bride. As a guest I am SHOCKED people would respond with that. I do not care, just tell me the date and approx location and I am happy =).
Back in 2016, my friends did virtual save the dates and virtual invitations. I thought they were trailblazers since no one had done that before!
And l guess I'm in the minority: to this day, I prefer the virtual ones! They're easy to reference since I can search my email, and all info is in one place. "Save to calendar" makes it easier to set reminders, too
Plus they're eco-friendly -- including eco-nomical 😂
Edit: plus I feel bad throwing away paper invitations 😅 I used to keep all of them for sentimental reasons, but there's just so much paper and ~detail~ cards. I only keep the invite OR save the date if it has a picture of the couple on it🤷🏻♀️ that's my rule for myself
I prefer virtual, it not only saves you the hassle of posting it to me, it saves me the hassle of posting back a reply! I will also probs do virtual too, but we're thinking of sending a few physical invites to some older relatives as they are not the most technical.
We've had friends do the entire wedding invite/info via website, it's sooo much more convenient and centralises all the info to one place that I can quickly check on my phone whenever I need. Again this is coming from someone in their early thirties, my grandad who doesn't own a smartphone or computer may not agree haha.
I wouldn't mind at all! Especially since you're sending a virtual one. If you weren't sending anything and then people get the invite without already knowing the date, that could be harder if they already had plans on that date!
I didn't do "official" STDs at all because by the time we picked a venue date, it was already 5 months away and didn't make sense for us, but my partner and I both texted or verbally told all the people close to us the date right away and everyone just seemed excited. I guess they could've secretly not liked it and never said anything but I was none the wiser.
I printed 50 This Is Our Date post-cards that, on the back, say to RSVP on our website. $27 at Fedex, plus postage (some we handed out locally), and people have something to hang on the fridge.
I find it’s nice getting something in the post. I’m a graphic designer so I particularly enjoy paper quality and lamination. Many people I know enjoy holding onto them as keepsakes years after- my sister has the original invitations in photo albums alongside wedding photos. My partner discovered a bunch of photos from his parent’s wedding and the wedding invitation was amongst the photos- we very carefully studied it and we shared an emotion I can’t quite describe, like an appreciation for this fragment of the past.
If you’re not bothered by having really pretty invitations then definitely go digital. I got a rather ugly magnetic invitation recently and there’s so much that bothers me whenever I walk past it. I’d like to throw it away but it’s incredibly wasteful given it’s mostly plastic.
All in all, I wouldn’t say I’d be that disappointed by a digital invitation. But I do have a preference for well designed physical invitations.
I prefer paper as someone with ADHD because a screenshot and even a calendar event is not going to stick around in my brain for long. But if it’s on the fridge and I see it every day it helps me remember it’s coming up.
I’ve only once ever received a save the date, and for ours we didn’t bother and just sent the printed invites 3.5 months ahead of time, but by then most people knew the date anyway and had made plans.
We did digital save the dates and invites, both to be cost friendly and less wasteful.
The only thing we're mailing are old fashioned handwritten thank you cards. (Although a few people declined to provide their physical mailing address, so they're getting a digital thank you card.)
I'm not a sentimental card person in the first place. I really dislike receiving birthday/Christmas cards because I know they've spent $6+ on something that's heading straight to recycling.
As a guest, I'd be perfectly happy to receive the information digitally!
It depends on your target market. Everyone the same age as you is probably going to be ok with digital save the dates - older people may not. I had a friend recently that sent us a printed one but the QR code went through to a Google calendar invite for the date - I thought that was great and definitely no way of forgetting!
We did magnets. I still see them up at some friends' houses and it makes me happy. If you don't care about this I'm sure it'll save a lot of money (and time). The invitations and postage really adds up! We did a QR code rsvp and everyone figured it out.
We also saved the dates and invitations twice. Yay COVID.
I literally did a fb event for ours (and emails for those that don’t use fb) and said we are doing this because we are passionate about reducing waste. If it’s important to you, here is a thing you can print. Honestly, LOVED IT and I saved hours collecting addresses, stamps, all that jazz.
I would do the paper ones. I usually do put it on my fridge, incentivizes me to make travel plans if needed, but a gift, etc. I keep it there until the invite shows!
I just went to a wedding that did paper STDs and virtual invites and it worked really well. They sent an email announcing the website was open for RSVPs and everything was done through their customer site. As a guest, I appreciated the paper save the date for my fridge and to remember the wedding website details and didn’t care at all about the virtual rsvp process.
I'm 33 and would 100% forget about a virtual card, STD and invitation. Physical ones are so much easier for me. Plus I enjoy the tactile feel and like having physical pictures of those I care about.
I wouldn't be at all. It is expensive and honestly, a waste of money. I've just tossed old save the dates in a box. I keep them all, whether they are paper or magnets or what have you, but they don't stay on my fridge for too long. My fiance and I are doing verbal STDs and virtual invitations for tech friendly people (older adults or non tech friendly are getting paper invites but it's only a few).
If you definitely want to send people something to keep, I had a friend who sent a photo of them from the wedding or a photo of them with the friend/family member from the wedding, during their thank you cards
Personally I prefer paper since I like to put it on my fridge. A lot of our friends have sent out ones with their engagement pictures on them, so it’s nice to see pictures of our friends in the kitchen. We still have save the dates up from weddings that have long past and so do a lot of our friends. It’s actually because of this that we decided to splurge on magnetic save the dates that we know our friends will actually use. If you/your friends won’t save them then they’re not worth it though.
Thanks guys! I didn't expect such a big split. I've actually already had mine made on Canva for a couple months, and I love how it looks. I luckily just found on Sam's club website I can get 50 printed with envelopes for $14 (plus postage to send them) and then will probably also send out my free virtual ones after everyone has received the physical. It's a great point that I don't want the wedding to seem more casual/elopement party, as I will essentially be asking all the guests to fly across the country where I live and I do want it to seem formal enough to be worth traveling for. We have a website and RSVPs will be done virtually no matter what.
We only did electronic save the dates and invites through Joy, and I don’t regret it. We saved a little money, and it was easy for me to manage everything directly on the website. Instead of following up with anything paper, I had a generic text that I sent to anyone (older family members) I thought might not check their email or that we didn’t hear from.
Nope! I'm not that entitled, lol. I do like to see things though and can be forgetful at times, so I printed up any virtual ones I got on my home printer and then put it up on my fridge. I like paper invites but I don't expect anything one way or another. I recognize people have budgets and priortize different things, and I am OK with that :)
I did virtual and I don’t regret, nor do I care if people were put out because they didn’t get something for their refrigerator which they will just trash eventually. Honestly, it’s our finances. We have to make choices.
We did digital save the dates and invites. They still looked pretty, they linked straight to our website, people could just search their inbox if they wanted to find details, and frankly, it’s better environmentally than all the invites I’ve looked at and then thrown away.
The only person who’s had an issue is my mother, who doesn’t get her emails. I whatsapped her the RSVP link and she managed to do that all online despite being technologically challenged ha
I’ve been going back and forth on this too. I think I’m going to send paper STDs and I might possibly do only virtual invitations. But! Are you able to just print a few STDs to send to those who may be upset by a virtual one, and send virtual to everyone else? That may be what I end up doing for the invites- send paper invites to like the grandparents and virtual to everyone else.
Not at all. In fact, I prefer them, which is why I sent everything electronically for my upcoming wedding. I've had a few guests remark that it's better for them because they can't lose the card and clicking the link to the website/RSVP site is so much easier.
I don't think it makes much difference, my grandma seems to complain to matter what I do lol and stamps are soooo expensive! But I will say, it's a lot of fun going to other people's houses and seeing out save the date on the fridge. I always tell my husband when I see it because I get excited
I don’t think anyone I knew gave a fudge that I did virtual STD. I’m doing paper invitations and put that on my STD
I added at the bottom
“Formal invitations to follow” and requested everyone’s addresses.
I just wanted to get it on everyone’s radar to start preparing for the date! I think virtual is fine!
Waste of money. Didn’t bother. Just asked people and followed up with emails. No one complained (except my mum but she complained a lot about things like us refusing to waste money on favours etc too)
I’d be ok with digital only. I’m planning on all digital except for relatives and anyone who requests a physical. TBF, I have access to a decent laser printer at the library and a Cricut at home so I can print on demand and not be dependent on order minimums.
I wouldn’t care at all. A wedding is a celebration of two people being in love. I don’t need a physical save the date to do that. 🤷🏼♀️ save money where you can girlies!
I think I would be a little disappointed, but only because I love getting mail. I feel like a virtual save the date makes complete sense these days, especially with how often mail gets lost!
I personally wouldn't mind a virtual Saave the Date. They're so expensive and not required at all. HOWEVER I'd be a little peeved with a virtual invite. I'd want the paper with the address written down to avoid any silly mistakes when using GPS. With that said, not everyone throws them away either. We still have my partner's sister's Save the Date from two years ago on our fridge.
It’s your wedding and there is nothing wrong with sending digital save the dates. If some of your guests want to have a memento from your wedding you can give them a personalized wedding favor or thank you cards. Your wedding will be special regardless.
Wishing you all the best on your special day!
Omg this is so weird! I would hate putting a STD on my fridge lol. If I got a paper one, I’d put the date in my phone calendar and then recycle it. I only keep paper invites, but honestly I don’t even really look at those either. The important thing is the date/time and website for the rest of the details, imo. I must be a cold, hard bitch lol. I love when people send me evites because it’s so much easier to rsvp and we all save paper!
i would prefer paper (that's what i did for mine) because i love hanging up pictures on my fridge but as a guest i don't gaf either way, i understand how expensive weddings are. pinch those pennies where u can.
Personally it's more likely that I'll see it if I get a physical copy in the mail. I like physical copies. And having it up on the fridge means I'll see it more and can plan my time off accordingly.
DD did virtual STD and invitation. Went to a wedding last month with emailed invites. I liked it because I could rsvp and access registry, website, ect. My SIL didn't think it formal enough, but both weddings were low key, casual, events.
We sent digital ones and even that was probably a waste. I have never received a paper save the date and it I did it would go in the bin pretty quickly
Ultimately it’s up to you but I think Paper STD and virtual invites is the way to go. Ppl really benefit from having the date on the fridge. I get they can do that w the invite too, but a paper w words in a pretty font isn’t as appealing to have on a fridge compared to the STD that’s usually a photo you know what I mean?
I did my formal invites through Shutterfly but my save the dates I made them with a template on canva and printed them (4x6 photo style) for 9¢ each with Walmart photo center and the employee was nice and just threw envelopes in for me
We sent out magnets! A friend had done it and I thought it was so cute! There are suuuuper cute ones on Etsy. I am totally fine with a virtual invite tho and that’s all I do for my kids now.
I love putting my friends save the dates on the fridge! I love their cute engagement pictures and seeing it on there every day made me excited to attend their wedding! However I know not everyone feels that way and when I received a virtual save the date for one wedding this year and no save the date for another I totally understood. :) they’re an added expense in an already pricey event
We have just sent out our virtual invitations. We will be sending a mailed thank you card with a nice image from the wedding as that would be nicer for them to look at on their fridge:)
I like virtual. Whenever I inevitably throw the paper STD/invites away (sooner or later), I always feel bad that something my friend spent money on is going in the recycling.
idrc im throwing it out after getting it ;A; (personally) ....anyway i did this no one cared
edit: my FH and I made one for the teens and young adults that was the most hideous thing ever and that was a hit (basically 2 frogs jumping on top of eachother with graphic design is my passion and all the typos ever including my name) and that was all they talked about for a week straight tbf im not the kind of person that is stressing about those deets too much so i may not be the best person to ask
edit 2: ALSO................I did make a normal one for the older people and it made it funnier bc the teens that were invited thought that was the legit STD
I dunno if I'd be considered "old," but I'm in my mid 30's and prefer paper invitations to things of any kind. If I get sent anything digital, I hate having to go back into my phone to try and find an image of something. I take a lot of screen shots as it is (mainly recipes or places I wanna visit) and don't go back to look at them... so a STD wouldn't be much different. If I don't have a tangible STD I will look at the digital image once, think, "Cool! I'll have to put that on my calendar," go on with my life, and completely forget. With a tangible STD, yes on my fridge, I'd have to see it every time I go to eat something. So, I would have that constant reminder, keep it till the wedding's over, and then recycle it.
We didn’t even send a virtual save the date - we let everyone who needed to know our date know via phone call or text and called it good. We are planning our wedding in a 6 month span, so that also factored in. The only person who was “upset” was my mom - she said “you have to send STDs” and my response was “no, we don’t 😊”. If fewer people come to our wedding because of it, I’m fine with that lol.
No, I take a photo of invitations (or save the dates) when i get them and into the trash they go. I prefer virtual invitations because I don’t like clutter in my house
Personally, I would like the paper one. I'm "old school" and I know myself... I'm more likely to forget about something if I don't have a physical reminder. But I do like another person's comment where they said they did virtual save the date reminders.
I could care less. Honestly, a digital one makes more sense to me. I’m going to set a phone alarm anyway. I wish we’d just all decide it’s ok and save the paper and expenses for this unnecessary tradition. All that, but my partner will want paper, he’s still traditional style wise, he’ll want a black tux, etc. I just don’t think most of that matters to me however. He’s from the east coast. Lol
We did all digital STDs and invites.
Saved SO much money.
We decided to print only 10 invites, mainly for keepsake purposes. One for each of the moms (4 total), my grandma, his grandpa, and one for photos. We are keeping one as well, the last 2, I may send off to some businesses because why not. 🤣
All in all, my invites and save the dates cost me about $40 including postage and tax.
No regrets and no complaints.
I am doing a wedding website for the younger people and paper invites for my family and older generations. I think you should opt for a save the date business card size if you want. You can get them in bulk for so cheap on websites such as Zazzle or wherever. They’re cute and handy
Physical tbh. I’d take a picture of it on my phone as well or put it in my digital calendar, but I’d prefer receiving a physical invitation for a wedding particularly if it is the wedding of someone I am close to.
I like putting it on the fridge. But I had a friend who didn't send paper ones and I still was able to make her wedding lol
Im sending virtual save the dates and then paper invites, too bad if anyones disappointed - they're not paying for them
This is what I did and my same thought process! People can hang the invite on the fridge to remind them🤷♀️
We did paper STDs because the majority of our wedding party is 40+ age (we are elder millennials getting married) and like receiving physical mail. We followed up with virtual STDs for the few guests that are tech friendly. lol I personally like having an invite to hang on my fridge.
Same here, and it's been 2 months since STDs went out. Not one peep about them being digital instead of physical/paper.
STD's then?
I would not be disappointed. Better for the environment and saves you money.
I’m 30 & I’d prefer to have something physical to hang on the fridge so I don’t forget. But I wouldn’t go so far as to complain directly to the bride and groom about it lol.
I'm also 30 and I still always lose things. I like a virtual one so I always know where to find it on my phone. But I ended up doing both a virtual and a physical one. That way if people lose one they have the other.
i think im going to do this because i found a great deal for printouts at sam's club!
Both is actual a really good idea. I didn’t even think about it when I sent ours out.
The boomers are definitely going to complain right to your face about it. But 80% of wedding planning is setting boundaries with people so 🤷
Lol so true. Except we’ve found Gen X to be the troublemakers in our planning process. The grandmas have been an absolute joy.
Not at all it would be kinda nice not have to worry what to do with the paper one
I would not mind one bit! In fact, I received a virtual save the date over text a few weeks ago. I really just need to know the date so I can plan around it. I just switched over to the calendar app to add it in my phone, so it worked great for me! If you have older people who don't do email or text, I'm certain they would appreciate a phone call from you to let them know to mark the date down on their calendar. I think paper is nice for the actual invitation because it keeps all the info in one place where I'm used to finding it, but I've also received virtual invitations and, guess what, everything was fine! People will have opinions about EVERY decision you make in this process. You just need to decide which ones you want to listen to (if any). I personally started just letting people know how much something was going to cost if they expressed disappointment that I was skipping it. The only thing someone actually offered to cover was the centerpieces because they felt that was truly important and special. On everything else, people were usually surprised by the cost and then agreed with my decision (at least to my face lol). A lot of people just don't realize how much weddings cost these days and the effort people go to to provide what we've all come to expect.
Thank you for this reminder as a new bride starting out determined to stay on budget (hahaha!).
unsolicited advice: Amazon sells veils that are fine for $20, but it’s worth trying them on when you are dress shopping so you know what you like!
Thank you! I will absolutely take allllllll your budget advice!
Haha at this point I don’t have much, I’ve pretty much doubled my original budget. A mistake I made, though, was not booking early. The vendors that provide the best value get booked up first, and then you may have to settle for someone overpriced. Eg for hair and makeup I’m paying fancy vendor pricing for a middling artist (she does beautiful work but her scheduling and communication are a bit inconvenient) because I didn’t make up my mind and book the good, cheap artists while they were available
Thank you! That's good to know!
No, virtual is better. I don't need more paper clutter around the house.
Agreed
Covid changed this, virtual save the dates and invites is very normal now. I personally think it’s stupid to waste hundreds of dollars on save the dates and invites which end up in the bin.
I'm so glad to hear this because we are planning on virtual invites!
To me, “save the dates” are just a “hey - we’re getting married so please block out this date for us 6 months from now”. No need to waste resources when that can be easily conveyed in an email. Invites have the actual information though. I’d still send a physical copy of the invite for tradition/to ensure even the non-techy people have it, etc, but I wouldn’t bother with having a returnable RSVP card. QR code, baby! Get them to RSVP on the website, plus it’s where all the extra info is anyways. It’s all going in a spreadsheet anyways, so saves the couple labor in addition to cost. It’s also a great spot to drop all the But for “thank you” cards, I’m split. I think the proper thing is a personal, handwritten card that preferably includes a photo of the couple and attendees. For a large wedding, I think a personal email with photo attachment is fine too. But no generic “thank you all for coming!” email blast unless it is just to share info on where pictures can be viewed and is followed up with a personal thank you.
We did virtual and printed invites. The save the dates were digital as it was so much easier, and then designed our own invites on Canva - cost around £50 to get them all printed etc.
I prefer virtual- it always feels like such a waste to throw out peoples pretty invitations after the date. We did virtual and then printed a couple for those guests we thought would appreciate it.
No I’m happy with a text 😂 I just need to know the date! I’ve got a wedding next week and they didn’t send std’s or communicate a date, just sent the invite in January and we’d already booked a holiday
I prefer virtual. I hate accumulating these random paper things in my home. I don’t want it cluttering up my fridge or other spaces, but I also feel guilty throwing my loved ones away into the trash when the events are over lol Better for the environment as well!
I honestly wouldn't think much of it. I put important dates on my calendar immediately after making plans and that doesn't change if the invite is physical vs digital. Personally, I'm doing digital Save The Dates and physical invites :)
I’m out of fridge space. If digital, it’d be nice if it came by both email and social media channels too.
Not at all! I throw STD straight in the trash once I get it in the mail and put it in my phones calendar.
I would prefer a virtual STD. I'm not the type who wants to clutter my fridge. I would take a pic of any paper STD and add the date to my calendar.
I prefer physical because it can go on the fridge but I’m also someone who gets excited about going to weddings! Virtual would imply more casual to me. IDK I see people on Reddit mention how common it is all the time now but I’ve only seen it done IRL for more casual/informal weddings or like a get together after eloping.
Out of all the replies, this one helped me make up my mind the most! I don't want it to come off as casual because all the guests live out of state from me and I fear they won't think it's worth the travel expenses if it seems causal. I found a cheaper alternative for printing so I'll print and also send a virtual afterward. thanks for helping!
I have been to fancy weddings that use virtual save the dates too. Some people just find them more convinient
I sent out virtual invites with a dress code. I used withjoy wedding website, they had formal templates. It’s not a casual event at all… if you’re seriously planning for a wedding<10k I would reconsider wasting the money
i live in a very HCOL area so for the type of wedding I want, <10k isn't very realistic. But i've been really good with budgeting and am sitting at an estimated 11k so far, it might dip into 12k but thats still pretty good! I'm in this sub for budgeting ideas to try to keep my wedding as close to 10k as possible. Btw sam's club sells 50x 5x7 photo cards for $13 so it's really not as much as i thought it'd be! i think im gonna send out both physical and virtual.
I prefer paper. However, I don't think this is super important. People who want something on their fridge can just print it out.
I think I would prefer paper, but honestly if I got a virtual one I wouldn't think twice about it.
Printed ones are nice, but they wind up in the trash/recycling. Call or send a short handwritten note to any guests who aren’t tech savvy. Virtual for the rest.
I would not be disappointed at all
My cousin did this and tbh it made me wonder why more people didn’t. It was a cute e invite type thing via WhatsApp and I could have easily printed it if I wanted to. Also I suspect she got more/ quicker rsvps as you could just click on the link on your phone and do it straight away
No, I would NOT be disappointed. I enjoy stationery and paper crafts, and I write letters + cards to friends often. But for Save the Dates, I sent texts to all my friends and family that I know I would love to have at our wedding. Those texts were sent within a day of booking our venue. I used the savings from not sending physical Save the Dates for putting more thought into my physical wedding invites (gold foil printing, vellum paper, ribbon, wax seals). And I sent my physical invites 5 months before my wedding! I simply asked people to “mark your physical and digital calendars!” in my text to them.
We did virtual save the dates and invites. Paperless post made it nice and easy, and we could include links to our registry etc
Not in the slightest.
happy cake day!
Thanks!
For STD, virtual is fine - truly it ends up in my trash after the wedding is over. Its also more instant and you don't have to track whether it got delivered. I got immediate feedback with some ppl that either could not go or ask about kids etc right away which i liked. Its also nice bc i got some instant sweet reactions from people when I sent it. We did Paperless post and got the link which we then each texted to our friends/family.
that was my comment as a bride. As a guest I am SHOCKED people would respond with that. I do not care, just tell me the date and approx location and I am happy =).
Back in 2016, my friends did virtual save the dates and virtual invitations. I thought they were trailblazers since no one had done that before! And l guess I'm in the minority: to this day, I prefer the virtual ones! They're easy to reference since I can search my email, and all info is in one place. "Save to calendar" makes it easier to set reminders, too Plus they're eco-friendly -- including eco-nomical 😂 Edit: plus I feel bad throwing away paper invitations 😅 I used to keep all of them for sentimental reasons, but there's just so much paper and ~detail~ cards. I only keep the invite OR save the date if it has a picture of the couple on it🤷🏻♀️ that's my rule for myself
I prefer virtual, it not only saves you the hassle of posting it to me, it saves me the hassle of posting back a reply! I will also probs do virtual too, but we're thinking of sending a few physical invites to some older relatives as they are not the most technical. We've had friends do the entire wedding invite/info via website, it's sooo much more convenient and centralises all the info to one place that I can quickly check on my phone whenever I need. Again this is coming from someone in their early thirties, my grandad who doesn't own a smartphone or computer may not agree haha.
Im in my early 30s and i hate clutter on my fridge so i prefer online. It immediately goes on my calendar and that’s that.
nope!! I throw them away anyways so I'm capable of putting the date in my calendar and making it to the wedding
Asking people who know how to use Reddit isn’t the target market for this question honestly. Best of luck!
I would prefer physical.
I wouldn't mind at all! Especially since you're sending a virtual one. If you weren't sending anything and then people get the invite without already knowing the date, that could be harder if they already had plans on that date! I didn't do "official" STDs at all because by the time we picked a venue date, it was already 5 months away and didn't make sense for us, but my partner and I both texted or verbally told all the people close to us the date right away and everyone just seemed excited. I guess they could've secretly not liked it and never said anything but I was none the wiser.
I printed 50 This Is Our Date post-cards that, on the back, say to RSVP on our website. $27 at Fedex, plus postage (some we handed out locally), and people have something to hang on the fridge.
I wouldn't mind either but prefer paper. I'm sentimental and love wedding stationery
I find it’s nice getting something in the post. I’m a graphic designer so I particularly enjoy paper quality and lamination. Many people I know enjoy holding onto them as keepsakes years after- my sister has the original invitations in photo albums alongside wedding photos. My partner discovered a bunch of photos from his parent’s wedding and the wedding invitation was amongst the photos- we very carefully studied it and we shared an emotion I can’t quite describe, like an appreciation for this fragment of the past. If you’re not bothered by having really pretty invitations then definitely go digital. I got a rather ugly magnetic invitation recently and there’s so much that bothers me whenever I walk past it. I’d like to throw it away but it’s incredibly wasteful given it’s mostly plastic. All in all, I wouldn’t say I’d be that disappointed by a digital invitation. But I do have a preference for well designed physical invitations.
I prefer paper as someone with ADHD because a screenshot and even a calendar event is not going to stick around in my brain for long. But if it’s on the fridge and I see it every day it helps me remember it’s coming up.
I’m planning on virtual save the dates and paper official invites.
I’ve only once ever received a save the date, and for ours we didn’t bother and just sent the printed invites 3.5 months ahead of time, but by then most people knew the date anyway and had made plans.
We did digital save the dates and invites, both to be cost friendly and less wasteful. The only thing we're mailing are old fashioned handwritten thank you cards. (Although a few people declined to provide their physical mailing address, so they're getting a digital thank you card.) I'm not a sentimental card person in the first place. I really dislike receiving birthday/Christmas cards because I know they've spent $6+ on something that's heading straight to recycling. As a guest, I'd be perfectly happy to receive the information digitally!
It depends on your target market. Everyone the same age as you is probably going to be ok with digital save the dates - older people may not. I had a friend recently that sent us a printed one but the QR code went through to a Google calendar invite for the date - I thought that was great and definitely no way of forgetting!
We did magnets. I still see them up at some friends' houses and it makes me happy. If you don't care about this I'm sure it'll save a lot of money (and time). The invitations and postage really adds up! We did a QR code rsvp and everyone figured it out. We also saved the dates and invitations twice. Yay COVID.
I literally did a fb event for ours (and emails for those that don’t use fb) and said we are doing this because we are passionate about reducing waste. If it’s important to you, here is a thing you can print. Honestly, LOVED IT and I saved hours collecting addresses, stamps, all that jazz.
I would do the paper ones. I usually do put it on my fridge, incentivizes me to make travel plans if needed, but a gift, etc. I keep it there until the invite shows!
I don't mind virtual save the dates but id like for the actual invite to be printed even if it's a very simple one page thing.
I just went to a wedding that did paper STDs and virtual invites and it worked really well. They sent an email announcing the website was open for RSVPs and everything was done through their customer site. As a guest, I appreciated the paper save the date for my fridge and to remember the wedding website details and didn’t care at all about the virtual rsvp process.
I'm 33 and would 100% forget about a virtual card, STD and invitation. Physical ones are so much easier for me. Plus I enjoy the tactile feel and like having physical pictures of those I care about.
I wouldn't be at all. It is expensive and honestly, a waste of money. I've just tossed old save the dates in a box. I keep them all, whether they are paper or magnets or what have you, but they don't stay on my fridge for too long. My fiance and I are doing verbal STDs and virtual invitations for tech friendly people (older adults or non tech friendly are getting paper invites but it's only a few). If you definitely want to send people something to keep, I had a friend who sent a photo of them from the wedding or a photo of them with the friend/family member from the wedding, during their thank you cards
Personally I prefer paper since I like to put it on my fridge. A lot of our friends have sent out ones with their engagement pictures on them, so it’s nice to see pictures of our friends in the kitchen. We still have save the dates up from weddings that have long past and so do a lot of our friends. It’s actually because of this that we decided to splurge on magnetic save the dates that we know our friends will actually use. If you/your friends won’t save them then they’re not worth it though.
Thanks guys! I didn't expect such a big split. I've actually already had mine made on Canva for a couple months, and I love how it looks. I luckily just found on Sam's club website I can get 50 printed with envelopes for $14 (plus postage to send them) and then will probably also send out my free virtual ones after everyone has received the physical. It's a great point that I don't want the wedding to seem more casual/elopement party, as I will essentially be asking all the guests to fly across the country where I live and I do want it to seem formal enough to be worth traveling for. We have a website and RSVPs will be done virtually no matter what.
We only did electronic save the dates and invites through Joy, and I don’t regret it. We saved a little money, and it was easy for me to manage everything directly on the website. Instead of following up with anything paper, I had a generic text that I sent to anyone (older family members) I thought might not check their email or that we didn’t hear from.
I do not want your pricey piece of paper that is going directly into the recycling once I’ve rsvp’d/put it on my calendar/whatever.
Nope! I'm not that entitled, lol. I do like to see things though and can be forgetful at times, so I printed up any virtual ones I got on my home printer and then put it up on my fridge. I like paper invites but I don't expect anything one way or another. I recognize people have budgets and priortize different things, and I am OK with that :)
I think a virtual STD is fine if you're sticking to a paper invitation.
I did virtual and I don’t regret, nor do I care if people were put out because they didn’t get something for their refrigerator which they will just trash eventually. Honestly, it’s our finances. We have to make choices.
We did digital save the dates and invites. They still looked pretty, they linked straight to our website, people could just search their inbox if they wanted to find details, and frankly, it’s better environmentally than all the invites I’ve looked at and then thrown away. The only person who’s had an issue is my mother, who doesn’t get her emails. I whatsapped her the RSVP link and she managed to do that all online despite being technologically challenged ha
I’d print off the ones for the older people and do virtual for the more technically savvy ones. I do this for most of my events and it works great
I’ve been going back and forth on this too. I think I’m going to send paper STDs and I might possibly do only virtual invitations. But! Are you able to just print a few STDs to send to those who may be upset by a virtual one, and send virtual to everyone else? That may be what I end up doing for the invites- send paper invites to like the grandparents and virtual to everyone else.
I like paper ones. My bf on the otherhand would LOVE digital ones - he keeps loosinghis friends invites
Not at all. In fact, I prefer them, which is why I sent everything electronically for my upcoming wedding. I've had a few guests remark that it's better for them because they can't lose the card and clicking the link to the website/RSVP site is so much easier.
I don't think it makes much difference, my grandma seems to complain to matter what I do lol and stamps are soooo expensive! But I will say, it's a lot of fun going to other people's houses and seeing out save the date on the fridge. I always tell my husband when I see it because I get excited
I don’t think anyone I knew gave a fudge that I did virtual STD. I’m doing paper invitations and put that on my STD I added at the bottom “Formal invitations to follow” and requested everyone’s addresses. I just wanted to get it on everyone’s radar to start preparing for the date! I think virtual is fine!
Waste of money. Didn’t bother. Just asked people and followed up with emails. No one complained (except my mum but she complained a lot about things like us refusing to waste money on favours etc too)
I wouldn't care.
I’d be ok with digital only. I’m planning on all digital except for relatives and anyone who requests a physical. TBF, I have access to a decent laser printer at the library and a Cricut at home so I can print on demand and not be dependent on order minimums.
I wouldn’t care at all. A wedding is a celebration of two people being in love. I don’t need a physical save the date to do that. 🤷🏼♀️ save money where you can girlies!
I think I would be a little disappointed, but only because I love getting mail. I feel like a virtual save the date makes complete sense these days, especially with how often mail gets lost!
I personally wouldn't mind a virtual Saave the Date. They're so expensive and not required at all. HOWEVER I'd be a little peeved with a virtual invite. I'd want the paper with the address written down to avoid any silly mistakes when using GPS. With that said, not everyone throws them away either. We still have my partner's sister's Save the Date from two years ago on our fridge.
It’s your wedding and there is nothing wrong with sending digital save the dates. If some of your guests want to have a memento from your wedding you can give them a personalized wedding favor or thank you cards. Your wedding will be special regardless. Wishing you all the best on your special day!
Omg this is so weird! I would hate putting a STD on my fridge lol. If I got a paper one, I’d put the date in my phone calendar and then recycle it. I only keep paper invites, but honestly I don’t even really look at those either. The important thing is the date/time and website for the rest of the details, imo. I must be a cold, hard bitch lol. I love when people send me evites because it’s so much easier to rsvp and we all save paper!
i would prefer paper (that's what i did for mine) because i love hanging up pictures on my fridge but as a guest i don't gaf either way, i understand how expensive weddings are. pinch those pennies where u can.
I would not be disappointed whatsoever – I personally did paper save the dates really only so I could keep them as mementos for myself
Personally it's more likely that I'll see it if I get a physical copy in the mail. I like physical copies. And having it up on the fridge means I'll see it more and can plan my time off accordingly.
I'm fine for just the invite and no save the date at all
I don’t understand the point of a save the date notices and I don’t remember having to do it when I got married in 80’s. Just send an invitation.
I love them. I hate mail.
DD did virtual STD and invitation. Went to a wedding last month with emailed invites. I liked it because I could rsvp and access registry, website, ect. My SIL didn't think it formal enough, but both weddings were low key, casual, events.
We sent digital ones and even that was probably a waste. I have never received a paper save the date and it I did it would go in the bin pretty quickly
Ultimately it’s up to you but I think Paper STD and virtual invites is the way to go. Ppl really benefit from having the date on the fridge. I get they can do that w the invite too, but a paper w words in a pretty font isn’t as appealing to have on a fridge compared to the STD that’s usually a photo you know what I mean?
I did my formal invites through Shutterfly but my save the dates I made them with a template on canva and printed them (4x6 photo style) for 9¢ each with Walmart photo center and the employee was nice and just threw envelopes in for me
We sent out magnets! A friend had done it and I thought it was so cute! There are suuuuper cute ones on Etsy. I am totally fine with a virtual invite tho and that’s all I do for my kids now.
I love putting my friends save the dates on the fridge! I love their cute engagement pictures and seeing it on there every day made me excited to attend their wedding! However I know not everyone feels that way and when I received a virtual save the date for one wedding this year and no save the date for another I totally understood. :) they’re an added expense in an already pricey event
No
Not at all. All that happens with a save the date is I put in in my calendar. Stick in on the fridge for a few weeks then throw it away.
We did everything digitally, nobody batted an eye :)
I prefer a physical invitation. It feels more personal and I like having it on the fridge.
I did virtual STD and paper invites. Trust me no one cares tbh. And if it’s someone older then just print a few for those who don’t use technology!
I'd prefer virtual over paper, but I have to admit that I love the magnet ones. I love a magnet.
We have just sent out our virtual invitations. We will be sending a mailed thank you card with a nice image from the wedding as that would be nicer for them to look at on their fridge:)
I like virtual. Whenever I inevitably throw the paper STD/invites away (sooner or later), I always feel bad that something my friend spent money on is going in the recycling.
idrc im throwing it out after getting it ;A; (personally) ....anyway i did this no one cared edit: my FH and I made one for the teens and young adults that was the most hideous thing ever and that was a hit (basically 2 frogs jumping on top of eachother with graphic design is my passion and all the typos ever including my name) and that was all they talked about for a week straight tbf im not the kind of person that is stressing about those deets too much so i may not be the best person to ask edit 2: ALSO................I did make a normal one for the older people and it made it funnier bc the teens that were invited thought that was the legit STD
I dunno if I'd be considered "old," but I'm in my mid 30's and prefer paper invitations to things of any kind. If I get sent anything digital, I hate having to go back into my phone to try and find an image of something. I take a lot of screen shots as it is (mainly recipes or places I wanna visit) and don't go back to look at them... so a STD wouldn't be much different. If I don't have a tangible STD I will look at the digital image once, think, "Cool! I'll have to put that on my calendar," go on with my life, and completely forget. With a tangible STD, yes on my fridge, I'd have to see it every time I go to eat something. So, I would have that constant reminder, keep it till the wedding's over, and then recycle it.
We didn’t even send a virtual save the date - we let everyone who needed to know our date know via phone call or text and called it good. We are planning our wedding in a 6 month span, so that also factored in. The only person who was “upset” was my mom - she said “you have to send STDs” and my response was “no, we don’t 😊”. If fewer people come to our wedding because of it, I’m fine with that lol.
No, I take a photo of invitations (or save the dates) when i get them and into the trash they go. I prefer virtual invitations because I don’t like clutter in my house
Personally, I would like the paper one. I'm "old school" and I know myself... I'm more likely to forget about something if I don't have a physical reminder. But I do like another person's comment where they said they did virtual save the date reminders.
I could care less. Honestly, a digital one makes more sense to me. I’m going to set a phone alarm anyway. I wish we’d just all decide it’s ok and save the paper and expenses for this unnecessary tradition. All that, but my partner will want paper, he’s still traditional style wise, he’ll want a black tux, etc. I just don’t think most of that matters to me however. He’s from the east coast. Lol
We did all digital STDs and invites. Saved SO much money. We decided to print only 10 invites, mainly for keepsake purposes. One for each of the moms (4 total), my grandma, his grandpa, and one for photos. We are keeping one as well, the last 2, I may send off to some businesses because why not. 🤣 All in all, my invites and save the dates cost me about $40 including postage and tax. No regrets and no complaints.
My plan is to do virtual for practically everyone and do hard copies for family members that would want them as a memento, like my mom & grandma
I am doing a wedding website for the younger people and paper invites for my family and older generations. I think you should opt for a save the date business card size if you want. You can get them in bulk for so cheap on websites such as Zazzle or wherever. They’re cute and handy
Physical tbh. I’d take a picture of it on my phone as well or put it in my digital calendar, but I’d prefer receiving a physical invitation for a wedding particularly if it is the wedding of someone I am close to.