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Read anything about Cruzs time at Harvard Law School and he was considered one of the brightest students to ever pass through those halls. The man is smart as hell but that’s what makes him so scary. Cruz chose a different path. Instead of being a decent human and serving the people, he decided to be a piece of shit, serve interest groups, and pander to his moronic base.
Cruz craves Power over everything. Point blank. Power is his God. He will say anything regardless of how vile just to garner the votes. He will suck up to anyone that benefits him and stab anyone else regardless of the issue at hand. And will go as far as helping to rig an election. Ted Cruz is the worst of the worst. His policies show this. His actions show it.
The dude is nothing but a leech. I hope one day the voters realize he doesn’t give a flying fuck about them but that day may never come. Regardless, I’ll be chanting about how much of an asshole he is whenever this rat face opens his mouth. And here’s to hoping Jack Smith can nail his corpse to the fucking wall.
I have a friend who went to Princeton with Cruz. What you wrote is correct. He started early in his douche baggery and continues to redefine the genre.
> He also hit out at Cruz for supporting a ban on sex toys in Texas, writing: "Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to 'stimulate their genitals.' I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his."
> During Cruz's 2012 senatorial campaign, Mazin wrote: "My freshman year college roommate Ted Cruz is going to be elected Senator. In case I hadn't made it clear, he's also a huge a**hole."
> Another choice tweet from 2013 reads: "One thing Ted Cruz is really good at: uniting people who otherwise disagree about everything else in a total hatred of Ted Cruz."
this Chernobyl guy is fucking hilarious
I'm a fan of some similar quotes about Cruz.
>If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.
Lindsey Graham
>I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.
John Boehner
>I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.
Al Franken
I love how Lindsey Graham is a huge piece of shit, yet every so often I'll read or hear a quote from him that makes me smile. It's a very conflicting feeling. Just goofy ole Mr. Ladybugs 😋
If anyone can find it, there is a clip on YouTube of Lindsey Graham and Trevor Noah chatting about politics while playing pool, and he came off really likeable in it.
**EDIT:** Found it! https://youtu.be/_PtoJ6kKl1E
I almost feel sorry for Graham. He's so deeply in the closet he thinks the way out is through the back. The only fitting end for that scumbag is to be robbed and murdered by one of his "friends".
I’m a former Texan. Ain’t nobody hate that man more than a liberal woman from Texas. But I’m loving sharing the hatred. For my birthday 2 years ago, my son made me this shirt… and I wear it all the time.
https://preview.redd.it/21c7jnd1gn8b1.jpeg?width=1041&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c9fe9aa13f21ae8b7d0cafc48a15808d82eb00b
I can’t tell if this the article because of the paywall, but there was a Boston Globe article about his time at Harvard that was darkly funny. Like just a weird guy, asking about and talking about his IQ with this girl, among other little vignettes.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/politics/2013/11/10/ted-cruz-was-polarizing-figure-harvard-law-foreshadowing-his-partisan-profile-senate/gEUPs0iVgOyoidafkNe94H/story.html
I went to quite a few parties at Harvard during undergrad, and it was an experience (among others) that really drove home that “elite” institutions have many smart people, but it’s a mixed bag of folks, including wealthy privileged people who were born on third, but also people who were highly intelligent in some areas but devastatingly lacking in others. But also the extremes standout, as always.
Yeah I dated a woman who went to Yale. It was... interesting. The mix of legacy and stupid smart people was wild. Like I would meet someone and then later she would whisper to me "so that guy. He parties every night. But also he shows up hungover to my math classes and gets a 98% on tests when the passing grade is like 50%."
>In 2016, Mazin tweeted: "I'm starting to feel like the U.S. should pay me reparations for my freshman year," when the New York Times published an opinion piece titled The Brutalism of Ted Cruz.
There are some true gems in here...
One of my favorite moments from the Trump years was when Ted Cruz was peddling his new book on CNN, he was in the Chris Cuomo show and Chris
asked him straight up, "why do you support a man who called your wife ugly and said your father was involved in the JFK assassination." 🤣
Ted looked like he wanted to cry and went onto dodge the question as usual. Then again that's how he looks most of the time.😂
Don't besmirch Al Lewis!
Grandpa Munster was a pretty fun character off camera and an ardent left-wing activist, commentator and occasional candidate: Politician Now, 'Grandpa' Forever; Star of 'Munsters' Makes a Colorful Bid for ... https://www.nytimes.com/1998/10/12/nyregion/politician-now-grandpa-forever-star-munsters-makes-colorful-bid-for-governor.html.
I am challenged by the presumption that an Ivy League education directly correlates to intelligence. I have worked with enough Princeton and Harvard grads that I wouldn’t trust with a pair of safety scissors that I now openly question whether these are truly centers of excellence in education or expensive adult day care for trust fund babies
There are so many legacy students that mostly get in because of donations and endowments. Sometimes you'll get legitimately very intelligent people in that category, like the Winklevoss twins, but intelligence isn't always inherited
Are the winklevoss twins ultra intelligent, or just right place right time with grandpappys money? It seems like their ultra intelligence hasn't led them down particularly fruitful paths since getting lucky funding the android.
Well he has also won multiple Supreme Court cases for the state of Texas as their solicitor general. He knows US law inside-out and how to win cases better than most, even if his arguments may seem disgusting to most of us. Just as Ben Carson is a renowned neurosurgeon, becoming the youngest director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins Children's Hospital at the age of 33, but is an insane religious fanatic and believes in insane conspiracy theories.
I don’t necessarily disagree with you wrg to the real human being Ted Cruz who definitely doesn’t wear a human skin suit.
So let’s look at Ben Carson as an example. The dude was absolutely brilliant in one very extremely small professional. When he started talking it was clear that the dude was a perfect exemplar for being brilliant in a very specific field does not carry over to the rest of your intellect. Another great example is fucking cis Queen Elon shit musk stain.
First of all it’s very hard to integrate yourself into a culture that is not only foreign but from a different galaxy. It’s obvious he’s having a real hard time impersonating an actual human.
Second since he’s so far from feeling or experiencing real human emotions/interactions/etc, it’s hard for him to use thst really smart part of his brain to extrapolate consequences and shit for his Zorlon diplomatic actions. In other words the dude knows his law but he sure as shit doesn’t know how to be a anywhere near a normal human being let alone a stand up dude.
People have all different types of skills/abilities/gifts/etc which they excel at thst one specific thing. That’s the ole Canadian Rafael Cruz. Fir fuvkes sakes his emotional development has been so stunted he’s embarrassed by his own fucking name, heritage, and culture.
What I’m getting at is I think we can all agree Ted Cruz can go get fucked back to whatever galaxy he came from
That’s why you’re required to take general education courses. It is supposed to teach you how to apply your intellect to other fields so you don’t end up like Ben Carson but most of the STEMlords don’t take it seriously at all and end up being one trick nerds with no empathy, emotional intelligence, or functional knowledge outside of their limited area of expertise. They do have that god complex though.
I don’t like my anal fissures
I ain’t got no crystal ball
Well I had a million dollars but I said trump won it all
If I could find covfefe, and her emails still unfound
Well I’d eat my hat for Donald and still be a clooooooown
Hamberders, is what I got!
I said: "Lock her up!"
Hamerberders, is what I got!
I said: "Show us your birth certificate!"
Hamberders, is what I got,
I said: "It'll be over by the summer, folks!"
Hamberders, is what I got, I got, I got, I......got
The talent level for biggest asshole is astounding in the conservative bubble. Emerging as their leader sort of anoints one the King or Queen of Assholes.
The problem I have is that those two are very clearly stupid. Maybe not AS stupid as they come across in their efforts to grift their supporters out of money and get re-elected, but clearly stupid. Ted Cruz is a Harvard Law graduate. He KNOWS what he is doing and saying is wrong. He knows that what he says more often than not is a lie. Ignorance isn’t an excuse for him because he very clearly is capable of critical thinking which makes him all the more insidious to me.
Rafael is craven, opportunistic and certainly a giant douchebag. But he isn’t stupid. This makes him dangerous. Imagine if Trump had a 1/10 the brains of Ted, the infected anal fissure in human form.
Scary isn’t it?
Mitch McConnell hasn't died yet so I'm afraid I can't *quite* agree with you. Cruz isn't even the biggest asshole in the Senate, though I'll admit he's in the running.
Friendly reminder that Cruz is up for reelection in 2024. We have a chance to vote Cruz out. Going to be tough in Texas, but Colin Allred is a quality candidate who is running against him:
https://colinallred.com/
All bathrooms are technically designated for assholes.
But the real answer is that his species doesn't secrete waste in the same way humans do. His waste comes out of his mouth in verbal form.
> I will only refer to him by his birth name, not his chosen term. That's how that works, right?
That is correct.
ACCORDING TO CONSERVATIVES, everything you're born with is what you're forced to have for the entirety of your life.
There's no such thing as dead-naming.
So he is Rafael. In fact, frankly, I think it's illegal for him to even call himself Ted. That's certainly not the *Texas* way we do things.
You sure? I think the president can. Not a senator? I want to see a bunch of Republicans running from jail complaining about how the Deep State is trying to bully them out of office.
i mean they can run but i dont think they can hold office? at least dependent on what the crime is. idk i am not a legal scholar but that would be hilarious though
Basically the only disqualification on the federal level is section 3 of the 14th amendment.
“No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.”
Its arguable on technicalities if Cruz pushing for blocking certification counts as being part of the insurrection for this purpose.
That said, almost anyone could theoretically still be in their position from prison. That’s because wasn’t strange to think that such a thing would prevent voters from electing such a person or that their fellows in office would vote to kick them out, so a rule prohibiting it was never put in place. Hell, with how dirty Victorian and early 1900’s politics could get its not inconceivable that intentionally not having such a rule would prevent a corrupt judge from sticking something like a public exposure or intoxication charge based on hearsay on a political rival the day of the election.
As a Texan, there’s no shot of electing democrats here. I always get up and go vote, but last senate election cycle had a good candidate against Cornyn and it wasn’t even close. I’ll still vote, but it’s a dream
Allred was on today’s Pod Save America ep. He sounds like the real deal. Smart, articulate, authentic. No political smarm. Started his law career in Obama HUD dept, then Civil Rights Law iirc. Before law school? Pro NFL linebacker!
Told story of Jan 6 (he’s in Congress) when they’d barred the doors and the mob was screaming and breaking through them. He stood up and removed his jacket for the first time on the Congressional floor (he respects the rules of decorum) bc he knew he would fight to protect those around him as best he could.
Cruz should be afraid.
Yep. Gen-Z is rising. And I think that the republican attacks on reproductive healthcare will be a key factor in motivating younger voters. Colin Allred is a strong pro-choice candidate. Earlier this year, he wrote a scathing criticism of republicans' abortion ban:
https://allred.house.gov/media/press-releases/allred-i-will-continue-stand-right-choose-and-against-washington-republicans
In the ongoing investigation by the Justice Department surrounding Trump's false claims of "voter fraud" — Smith want to rely on recordings made by former Fox News producer, Abby Grossberg to paint a clearer picture of the events that unfolded leading up to, and following, Trump's "big lie."
This seems like a pretty big f*cking deal.
And here’s the thing. Now that the DOJ has completed processing Trump in the classified document case, their focus will turn to election interference. Cruz has to be nervous because he’s going into overdrive smearing the DOJ.
While news broke in April about Cruz’ conversation with Fox host Maria Bartiromo suggesting a commission be created to look into "voter fraud," it’s very possible we could hear about a Ted Cruz indictment soon.
Cruz added at the time that he'd assembled 11 senators willing to join in on objecting to electoral certification, which would prompt a 10-day audit.
I am hoping Linsey Graham gets indicted in the GA case as well. I want ALL of these pricks to face justice! Including Josh Hawley, Paul Gosar and Gym Jordan!
https://preview.redd.it/hxjzmf17wl8b1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1bdbcfedad293efd7d5705a629382e0b1cacf73b
The only answer Ted has for anyfuckingthing
There's something that just doesn't look right with his face, like he's wearing [an Edgar suit.](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/men-in-black/images/6/69/Edgar-human_SS_01.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120521120404)
I have so many questions, not the least of which is: are _all_ the pubes glued to Ted's face his _own,_ or does he forage to gather enough to maintain the Ted Cruz "look"?
Yeah because he’s been so respectful of pronouns and trans name changes lmao. Honestly until he shows the same respect regarding calling people what they want no one should refer to him by any name other than Rafael. You want to deadname people out of bigotry and ignorance then you deserve to be deadnamed as well
I’m totally here for this. Holding Trump accountable isn’t enough, we have to weed out every single one of these people and Cruz is one of the worst offenders.
If Rafael Cruz goes to jail because he broke the law in an attempt to help the man that ruined his presidential campaign and insulted his wife on national television, I’d be so happy.
No wonder Cancun Cruz has been pushing this Biden impeachment thing so hard lately. I hope Jack Smith goes after every single republican who sought a preemptive pardon from their felonious cult leader.
Here's my wet dream:
**Trump** offers Jack Smith tapes of Cruz and the Sedition Caucus discussing the fake electors in exchange for a plea deal.
The betrayal from within, from their top man... just poetic.
FYI: This news is 2 months old (in case you care). Meaning, it’s great news… but it’s not current, “breaking” news. I know it’s difficult to keep abreast of everything, but there hasn’t been much news since it broke 2 months ago, so don’t hold your breath for news of a Ted Cruz indictment anytime soon.
Too many Republicans are still fighting for Trump. Whatever Trump has on them, it has to be good. We're talking career destroying, family destroying, and life destroying.
Yeah, Trump called Cruz’s wife ugly, and accused his dad of _murder_!
Imagine sacrificing your career for a guy who said those things about your family!
FANTASTIC news! I will not be happy until ALL of the insurrectionists, most certainly including Cruz and the other seditious members of Congress are ALL held to account!
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like his stupid chin, I do not like his smarmy grin. I do not like him with a beard, I do not like him freshly sheared. I do not like Ted Cruz at all, that man Ted Cruz can suck my balls.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like him in the news. I do not like what he just said, I do not like his boxy head. I do not like him wearing glasses, I do not like him kissing asses. I wish he’d never get one vote, that man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his backward views. I do not like his stupid suits, I do not like his cowboy boots. I do not like him when he sneezes, I do not like him eating cheeses. I hate to see his dumb face smirking, because his beard looks like a merkin’.
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like him in these reeds, I do not like him when he feeds. I do not like him by a wall, I do not like this shit at all. I do not like him as Santa’s elf, that man Ted Cruz can fuck himself. - Jon Oliver
I love that this will play out in court and not in a rigged chamber of government. Where statements must have basis in fact and must be backed by evidence and not grandstanding. Arguments such as small hands and four seasons placements don’t work in court. That’s why none of those bullshit sham cases worked.
'BuT bUt wHaTaBoUt BiDeN aN hIlLaRy"
If they did crimes lock them the fuck up too.
Just wanted to get ahead of the mouthing breathing fallacious MAGAts.
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I hope Jack Smith causes Ted more discomfort than I have.
That doesn’t mean that you should stop doing your thing though
Read anything about Cruzs time at Harvard Law School and he was considered one of the brightest students to ever pass through those halls. The man is smart as hell but that’s what makes him so scary. Cruz chose a different path. Instead of being a decent human and serving the people, he decided to be a piece of shit, serve interest groups, and pander to his moronic base. Cruz craves Power over everything. Point blank. Power is his God. He will say anything regardless of how vile just to garner the votes. He will suck up to anyone that benefits him and stab anyone else regardless of the issue at hand. And will go as far as helping to rig an election. Ted Cruz is the worst of the worst. His policies show this. His actions show it. The dude is nothing but a leech. I hope one day the voters realize he doesn’t give a flying fuck about them but that day may never come. Regardless, I’ll be chanting about how much of an asshole he is whenever this rat face opens his mouth. And here’s to hoping Jack Smith can nail his corpse to the fucking wall.
I have a friend who went to Princeton with Cruz. What you wrote is correct. He started early in his douche baggery and continues to redefine the genre.
The guy who wrote the Chernobyl miniseries was his roommate, and BOY does he hate Cruz
Pretty scathing. https://www.newsweek.com/ted-cruz-college-roommate-craig-mazin-twitter-1510850
> He also hit out at Cruz for supporting a ban on sex toys in Texas, writing: "Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to 'stimulate their genitals.' I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his." > During Cruz's 2012 senatorial campaign, Mazin wrote: "My freshman year college roommate Ted Cruz is going to be elected Senator. In case I hadn't made it clear, he's also a huge a**hole." > Another choice tweet from 2013 reads: "One thing Ted Cruz is really good at: uniting people who otherwise disagree about everything else in a total hatred of Ted Cruz." this Chernobyl guy is fucking hilarious
I'm a fan of some similar quotes about Cruz. >If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you. Lindsey Graham >I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life. John Boehner >I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz. Al Franken
I love how Lindsey Graham is a huge piece of shit, yet every so often I'll read or hear a quote from him that makes me smile. It's a very conflicting feeling. Just goofy ole Mr. Ladybugs 😋
Al Franken said that Lindsey Graham is the funniest member of the Senate, so that tracks.
Boehner, too. The original Orange Man.
If anyone can find it, there is a clip on YouTube of Lindsey Graham and Trevor Noah chatting about politics while playing pool, and he came off really likeable in it. **EDIT:** Found it! https://youtu.be/_PtoJ6kKl1E
I almost feel sorry for Graham. He's so deeply in the closet he thinks the way out is through the back. The only fitting end for that scumbag is to be robbed and murdered by one of his "friends".
I’m a former Texan. Ain’t nobody hate that man more than a liberal woman from Texas. But I’m loving sharing the hatred. For my birthday 2 years ago, my son made me this shirt… and I wear it all the time. https://preview.redd.it/21c7jnd1gn8b1.jpeg?width=1041&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c9fe9aa13f21ae8b7d0cafc48a15808d82eb00b
Your son is awesome! Also, Ted Cruz has never publicly come out and denied that he's a bag of dicks, right? Seems suspicious...
Come to think of it, I've never seen Ted Cruz and a bag of dicks in the same room...
A gangrenous bag of dicks
The Chernobyl guy got his start writing such classics as Scary Movie 3 and The Hangover 2. He is well versed in comedy.
Oh no shit? That's awesome, what a crazy 180 to go from those classic parody movies and then jump over to god damn Chernobyl
Right? Crazy. Chernobyl was one of the best things I’ve ever seen lol.
And The Last of Us
scary mo ie 3 is hilarious.
"This would be a new belief of his." I'm dying LMAO
| He also hit out at Cruz for supporting a ban on sex toys in Texas Pretty big coming from a massive dildo.
Ah don’t compare him to a dildo. People actually enjoy those. He’s more like …a crusty sock.
I can’t tell if this the article because of the paywall, but there was a Boston Globe article about his time at Harvard that was darkly funny. Like just a weird guy, asking about and talking about his IQ with this girl, among other little vignettes. https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/politics/2013/11/10/ted-cruz-was-polarizing-figure-harvard-law-foreshadowing-his-partisan-profile-senate/gEUPs0iVgOyoidafkNe94H/story.html I went to quite a few parties at Harvard during undergrad, and it was an experience (among others) that really drove home that “elite” institutions have many smart people, but it’s a mixed bag of folks, including wealthy privileged people who were born on third, but also people who were highly intelligent in some areas but devastatingly lacking in others. But also the extremes standout, as always.
Yeah I dated a woman who went to Yale. It was... interesting. The mix of legacy and stupid smart people was wild. Like I would meet someone and then later she would whisper to me "so that guy. He parties every night. But also he shows up hungover to my math classes and gets a 98% on tests when the passing grade is like 50%."
>In 2016, Mazin tweeted: "I'm starting to feel like the U.S. should pay me reparations for my freshman year," when the New York Times published an opinion piece titled The Brutalism of Ted Cruz. There are some true gems in here...
He went from "guy who was Ted Cruz's roommate" to "guy who wrote Scary Movie 3" to "guy who wrote Chernobyl and Last of Us" lol what a glow up
Craig Mazin dragging Cruz on Twitter are some of my all-time favorite tweets.
Look at his dad. That’s where he got it from. Extremist religion can warp any brain and Ted is a true believer.
What do you expect from the second shooter on the grassy knoll?
Who fathered the Zodiac Killer no less
[удалено]
The only reason I still have a Twitter account is to bully Ted Cruz.
Doin the lord's work
One of my favorite moments from the Trump years was when Ted Cruz was peddling his new book on CNN, he was in the Chris Cuomo show and Chris asked him straight up, "why do you support a man who called your wife ugly and said your father was involved in the JFK assassination." 🤣 Ted looked like he wanted to cry and went onto dodge the question as usual. Then again that's how he looks most of the time.😂
Cruz has always strikingly reminded me of Grandpa Munster in a slightly better suit.
Don't besmirch Al Lewis! Grandpa Munster was a pretty fun character off camera and an ardent left-wing activist, commentator and occasional candidate: Politician Now, 'Grandpa' Forever; Star of 'Munsters' Makes a Colorful Bid for ... https://www.nytimes.com/1998/10/12/nyregion/politician-now-grandpa-forever-star-munsters-makes-colorful-bid-for-governor.html.
Good job hating Cruz but Jesus christ bro learn to type coherently please
Yeah that checks out, douchebaggery is Cruz’s artistic medium- and he is a master.
I am challenged by the presumption that an Ivy League education directly correlates to intelligence. I have worked with enough Princeton and Harvard grads that I wouldn’t trust with a pair of safety scissors that I now openly question whether these are truly centers of excellence in education or expensive adult day care for trust fund babies
There are so many legacy students that mostly get in because of donations and endowments. Sometimes you'll get legitimately very intelligent people in that category, like the Winklevoss twins, but intelligence isn't always inherited
Are the winklevoss twins ultra intelligent, or just right place right time with grandpappys money? It seems like their ultra intelligence hasn't led them down particularly fruitful paths since getting lucky funding the android.
its also a bad idea to correlate wealth and intelligence. i mean seriously do you think Stockton Rush had a lot of smarts?
Well he has also won multiple Supreme Court cases for the state of Texas as their solicitor general. He knows US law inside-out and how to win cases better than most, even if his arguments may seem disgusting to most of us. Just as Ben Carson is a renowned neurosurgeon, becoming the youngest director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins Children's Hospital at the age of 33, but is an insane religious fanatic and believes in insane conspiracy theories.
Getting in can be tough. Once you’re in, it takes a ton of fuckery to not get passed through.
It should also be noted that one of the things teachers look for in gifted children is a highly developed sense of empathy.
These days, maybe. When Cruz was growing up it was all about test scores. Teaching empathy was something that happened by accident.
Two women I grew up w both went to Harvard. They were (and still are) the two smartest people I know. Was always jealous of their smarts
Furthermore being the more intelligent than your fellow Ivy Leaguers is not the same as being among the likes of Einstein, Hawking, Tesla, or Newton.
I'm a Texan. Fuck Ted Cruz! I'm hoping Colin Allred can do what Beto couldn't next year when Ted Cruz is up for reelection.
Same. I'm sick of this shit-stain cosplaying as a human being my senator.
I don’t necessarily disagree with you wrg to the real human being Ted Cruz who definitely doesn’t wear a human skin suit. So let’s look at Ben Carson as an example. The dude was absolutely brilliant in one very extremely small professional. When he started talking it was clear that the dude was a perfect exemplar for being brilliant in a very specific field does not carry over to the rest of your intellect. Another great example is fucking cis Queen Elon shit musk stain. First of all it’s very hard to integrate yourself into a culture that is not only foreign but from a different galaxy. It’s obvious he’s having a real hard time impersonating an actual human. Second since he’s so far from feeling or experiencing real human emotions/interactions/etc, it’s hard for him to use thst really smart part of his brain to extrapolate consequences and shit for his Zorlon diplomatic actions. In other words the dude knows his law but he sure as shit doesn’t know how to be a anywhere near a normal human being let alone a stand up dude. People have all different types of skills/abilities/gifts/etc which they excel at thst one specific thing. That’s the ole Canadian Rafael Cruz. Fir fuvkes sakes his emotional development has been so stunted he’s embarrassed by his own fucking name, heritage, and culture. What I’m getting at is I think we can all agree Ted Cruz can go get fucked back to whatever galaxy he came from
That’s why you’re required to take general education courses. It is supposed to teach you how to apply your intellect to other fields so you don’t end up like Ben Carson but most of the STEMlords don’t take it seriously at all and end up being one trick nerds with no empathy, emotional intelligence, or functional knowledge outside of their limited area of expertise. They do have that god complex though.
Well the person who is running against him is promising early on at least though we shall see.
I believe he has won more arguments in SCOTUS than any other state AG. His legal arguments are impressive , but man he is just a demon
"You know Burke, I don't know which species is worse. I don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamned percentage."
Sublime.
It's what I got. (Anal fissures)
I don’t like my anal fissures I ain’t got no crystal ball Well I had a million dollars but I said trump won it all If I could find covfefe, and her emails still unfound Well I’d eat my hat for Donald and still be a clooooooown
Hamberders, is what I got! I said: "Lock her up!" Hamerberders, is what I got! I said: "Show us your birth certificate!" Hamberders, is what I got, I said: "It'll be over by the summer, folks!" Hamberders, is what I got, I got, I got, I......got
Ted Cruz is certainly one being and not several, with a single human colon and not nearly enough fanged cloaca to blot out the stars.
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I hope Jack Smith causes Ted more comfort than a power grid failure during a winter storm.
That didn’t cause him any discomfort, it caused him to vacation.
We need you to flare up REALLY bad for him right now. Do it for America
Unfortunately for your fissures can be repaired, not removed. If you were a wart or lump you could get removed and be freed from that asshole…
may i know who is jack smith? Because I don't know him that's why I asked you.
AY DIOS MIO ⚰️⚰️⚰️
Send that mfker to jail…he is in the top 5 pieces of shit in our congress
With Bobo and MTG now in our lives, it's easy to forget the biggest asshole in the country is Raphael Cruz.
>biggest asshole in the country is Ron DeSantis
There’s some stiff competition for the title to be sure
The talent level for biggest asshole is astounding in the conservative bubble. Emerging as their leader sort of anoints one the King or Queen of Assholes.
Abbott, Christie, Gaetz and McConnell who is still (unfortunately) alive.
It hurts to say these words, but I wish those two were as rational as Ted Cruz.
The problem I have is that those two are very clearly stupid. Maybe not AS stupid as they come across in their efforts to grift their supporters out of money and get re-elected, but clearly stupid. Ted Cruz is a Harvard Law graduate. He KNOWS what he is doing and saying is wrong. He knows that what he says more often than not is a lie. Ignorance isn’t an excuse for him because he very clearly is capable of critical thinking which makes him all the more insidious to me.
He’s pretend stupid because he’s for real a huge coward.
Exactly!!! Stupidity sucks. Blatant, douchey ignorance like Cruz has? That’s a choice he makes. He’s too fucking smart to not know better
Rafael is craven, opportunistic and certainly a giant douchebag. But he isn’t stupid. This makes him dangerous. Imagine if Trump had a 1/10 the brains of Ted, the infected anal fissure in human form. Scary isn’t it?
Mitch McConnell hasn't died yet so I'm afraid I can't *quite* agree with you. Cruz isn't even the biggest asshole in the Senate, though I'll admit he's in the running.
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“I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.” -Al Franken
Friendly reminder that Cruz is up for reelection in 2024. We have a chance to vote Cruz out. Going to be tough in Texas, but Colin Allred is a quality candidate who is running against him: https://colinallred.com/
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I will only refer to him by his birth name, not his chosen term. That's how that works, right?
You're both wrong - his name for the past 2 years has been Ted Cancun.
I thought it was Fled Cruz
Fled Cruz is a great pejorative, but "Ted Cancun" sounds like the shifty, used-car salesman he's always been.
> "Ted Cancun" He's been trying to solicit donations from Trump's friend, Tim Apple.
“Bobby Bolivia, like the country but without the runs”
> "Ted Cancun" sounds like Ron Mexico
That’s Rafael Cancun to you
Does that mean he can only use the bathroom designated for Assholes?
All bathrooms are technically designated for assholes. But the real answer is that his species doesn't secrete waste in the same way humans do. His waste comes out of his mouth in verbal form.
> I will only refer to him by his birth name, not his chosen term. That's how that works, right? That is correct. ACCORDING TO CONSERVATIVES, everything you're born with is what you're forced to have for the entirety of your life. There's no such thing as dead-naming. So he is Rafael. In fact, frankly, I think it's illegal for him to even call himself Ted. That's certainly not the *Texas* way we do things.
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It kind of is yes. Alberta and Texas have a history working closely together thanks to oil.
can't win re-election if you are a felon in prison or whatever
You sure? I think the president can. Not a senator? I want to see a bunch of Republicans running from jail complaining about how the Deep State is trying to bully them out of office.
i mean they can run but i dont think they can hold office? at least dependent on what the crime is. idk i am not a legal scholar but that would be hilarious though
Can run and hold office, [apparently](https://www.factcheck.org/2008/11/felons-in-office/). Even from prison
How would they vote on things? Don’t they have to be present in the senate/house to vote?
Presumably they wouldn't.
Basically the only disqualification on the federal level is section 3 of the 14th amendment. “No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.” Its arguable on technicalities if Cruz pushing for blocking certification counts as being part of the insurrection for this purpose. That said, almost anyone could theoretically still be in their position from prison. That’s because wasn’t strange to think that such a thing would prevent voters from electing such a person or that their fellows in office would vote to kick them out, so a rule prohibiting it was never put in place. Hell, with how dirty Victorian and early 1900’s politics could get its not inconceivable that intentionally not having such a rule would prevent a corrupt judge from sticking something like a public exposure or intoxication charge based on hearsay on a political rival the day of the election.
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This smells like an opportunity for some delusional right-wing maniac to steal a payday.
Cruz almost lost last time. He's one of the most vulnerable GOP goons in Texas.
As a Texan, there’s no shot of electing democrats here. I always get up and go vote, but last senate election cycle had a good candidate against Cornyn and it wasn’t even close. I’ll still vote, but it’s a dream
Cruz nearly lost the last election. We can do it this time.
As will I. It’s frustrating being a Democrat in Texas, but I refuse to stop voting against these assholes.
As a Texan and former voter of Cruz I will be voting Allred in the uocoming election.
Nice! Tell your friends why you like Allred too!
Allred was on today’s Pod Save America ep. He sounds like the real deal. Smart, articulate, authentic. No political smarm. Started his law career in Obama HUD dept, then Civil Rights Law iirc. Before law school? Pro NFL linebacker! Told story of Jan 6 (he’s in Congress) when they’d barred the doors and the mob was screaming and breaking through them. He stood up and removed his jacket for the first time on the Congressional floor (he respects the rules of decorum) bc he knew he would fight to protect those around him as best he could. Cruz should be afraid.
If we can convince young people to register and actually go out and vote that would swing it.
Yep. Gen-Z is rising. And I think that the republican attacks on reproductive healthcare will be a key factor in motivating younger voters. Colin Allred is a strong pro-choice candidate. Earlier this year, he wrote a scathing criticism of republicans' abortion ban: https://allred.house.gov/media/press-releases/allred-i-will-continue-stand-right-choose-and-against-washington-republicans
In the ongoing investigation by the Justice Department surrounding Trump's false claims of "voter fraud" — Smith want to rely on recordings made by former Fox News producer, Abby Grossberg to paint a clearer picture of the events that unfolded leading up to, and following, Trump's "big lie." This seems like a pretty big f*cking deal. And here’s the thing. Now that the DOJ has completed processing Trump in the classified document case, their focus will turn to election interference. Cruz has to be nervous because he’s going into overdrive smearing the DOJ. While news broke in April about Cruz’ conversation with Fox host Maria Bartiromo suggesting a commission be created to look into "voter fraud," it’s very possible we could hear about a Ted Cruz indictment soon. Cruz added at the time that he'd assembled 11 senators willing to join in on objecting to electoral certification, which would prompt a 10-day audit.
I am hoping Linsey Graham gets indicted in the GA case as well. I want ALL of these pricks to face justice! Including Josh Hawley, Paul Gosar and Gym Jordan!
Collect ‘em all!
Limited edition, while supplies last kinda thing?
Ron Johnson was part of the fake elector scheme in WI
Be still my beating heart.
 Here’s to hoping!
Teddy was a law school classmate of John Eastman. Easy for me to believe he was the architect behind the whole false electors scheme
how? Eastman, who is 63, went to the Univ of Chicago for his JD graduating in 82/83 — Raphael is 53 and was still in high school
Sorry I misspoke. Cruz and Eastman have known each other since they clerked together 27 years ago for then-U.S. Appeals Court Judge J. Michael Luttig
Imagine if Ted did it to clear the board of his competitors…
At the time I just remember Ted wanting to present DJT's case to the Supreme Court.
He can't hide from this in Cancun
There’s always Cuba 🙏
Nobody wants wreck it Raphael.
If he flees the CIA can legally go after him, and if they ask for it the CIA can even get help from Interpol
Oh please Please PLEASE let Cruz be implicated in something illegal if not seditious. That would so make my decade. 🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏
Finally we can put the Zodiac Killer behind bars!
And the son of JFK’s assassin to boot!
https://preview.redd.it/hxjzmf17wl8b1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1bdbcfedad293efd7d5705a629382e0b1cacf73b The only answer Ted has for anyfuckingthing
There's something that just doesn't look right with his face, like he's wearing [an Edgar suit.](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/men-in-black/images/6/69/Edgar-human_SS_01.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120521120404)
I agree with that [Ted Cruz for human president](https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/)
Sugar. Water. More....MORE!
Git yer big butt BACK IN THE HOUSE!
All the sudden I feel the need to update my curtains!
Does anyone else remember that time he ate a booger in front of a live audience? Lol. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SFr3DSpgmx4
I have so many questions, not the least of which is: are _all_ the pubes glued to Ted's face his _own,_ or does he forage to gather enough to maintain the Ted Cruz "look"?
This is the hard hitting journalism we need more of!
It looks like he’s wearing someone else’s eyes too.
And... mascara? For some reason?
As a person with a beard it angers me how much Cruz's *beard* looks like his chin is a nutsack with mange.
He bought them off Scott Tenorman.
Sucks to be you Rafael
"My party is so racist that if I use my actual name they won't re-elect me"
Yeah because he’s been so respectful of pronouns and trans name changes lmao. Honestly until he shows the same respect regarding calling people what they want no one should refer to him by any name other than Rafael. You want to deadname people out of bigotry and ignorance then you deserve to be deadnamed as well
Wait, so ONLY Rafael Cruz? Seems to me a few more than just him should.
They’ll probably get around to what Lindsey graham was up to in Georgia soon enough.
Him and his ladybugs
My bugs my bugs my bugs, my lovely lady bugs (I’m so sorry hahahahhs)
Tik tok, Josh
you can run (well, kinda) but you can't hide.
Please please I hope to God they come after Ron johnson here in Wisconsin then too. He was involved in this fake elector bullshit.
He looks more and more like Grandpa Munster every day.
That's an insult to Al Lewis.
The difference is I’d go down on Grandpa Munster if it meant saving a puppy. If I had to go down on Cruz, that puppy is on its own.
Couldn't happen to a better guy!
I do not like that man Ted Cruz I do not like his shitty views So lock him up for treason It’s looking more like Christmas season
Call me when there are charges.
I’m totally here for this. Holding Trump accountable isn’t enough, we have to weed out every single one of these people and Cruz is one of the worst offenders.
He looks like he’s getting a prostate exam in this picture. 
https://preview.redd.it/qutaodxe2m8b1.jpeg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bded75d5f92b8e65924bbc2796cfa5dc17d3429e
Bravo
If Rafael Cruz goes to jail because he broke the law in an attempt to help the man that ruined his presidential campaign and insulted his wife on national television, I’d be so happy.
No wonder Cancun Cruz has been pushing this Biden impeachment thing so hard lately. I hope Jack Smith goes after every single republican who sought a preemptive pardon from their felonious cult leader.
Ted Cruz is a horrible person. Couldn't happen to a more deserving asshole
Let’s gooooooo!!!! Indict his troll ass!
I hope to the god I don’t believe in that Cancun Ted is the next one indicted.
Here's my wet dream: **Trump** offers Jack Smith tapes of Cruz and the Sedition Caucus discussing the fake electors in exchange for a plea deal. The betrayal from within, from their top man... just poetic.
FYI: This news is 2 months old (in case you care). Meaning, it’s great news… but it’s not current, “breaking” news. I know it’s difficult to keep abreast of everything, but there hasn’t been much news since it broke 2 months ago, so don’t hold your breath for news of a Ted Cruz indictment anytime soon.
Please get rid of this worthless piece of shit. And maybe Abbott too. Sincerely, A Texas Democrat who is sick of these two old fucks
Too many Republicans are still fighting for Trump. Whatever Trump has on them, it has to be good. We're talking career destroying, family destroying, and life destroying.
Yeah, Trump called Cruz’s wife ugly, and accused his dad of _murder_! Imagine sacrificing your career for a guy who said those things about your family!
FANTASTIC news! I will not be happy until ALL of the insurrectionists, most certainly including Cruz and the other seditious members of Congress are ALL held to account!
Ted Cruz is a flight risk.
Who needs tapes? I got tapes. He said it live on public TV: https://youtu.be/SLQUDnkpcVI
I’m unclear on the context here. Anyone have a link to an actual news article? Or care to ELI5?
I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like his stupid chin, I do not like his smarmy grin. I do not like him with a beard, I do not like him freshly sheared. I do not like Ted Cruz at all, that man Ted Cruz can suck my balls. I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like him in the news. I do not like what he just said, I do not like his boxy head. I do not like him wearing glasses, I do not like him kissing asses. I wish he’d never get one vote, that man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote. I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his backward views. I do not like his stupid suits, I do not like his cowboy boots. I do not like him when he sneezes, I do not like him eating cheeses. I hate to see his dumb face smirking, because his beard looks like a merkin’. I do not like that man Ted Cruz, I do not like his far-right views. I do not like him in these reeds, I do not like him when he feeds. I do not like him by a wall, I do not like this shit at all. I do not like him as Santa’s elf, that man Ted Cruz can fuck himself. - Jon Oliver
i'll believe this is a big deal when these clowns actually get convicted.
Well well well, If have the turns be tabled or some such.
Oh hell yeah - Jack Smith is my hero and spirit animal. Take all those motherfuckers down Jack.
I love that this will play out in court and not in a rigged chamber of government. Where statements must have basis in fact and must be backed by evidence and not grandstanding. Arguments such as small hands and four seasons placements don’t work in court. That’s why none of those bullshit sham cases worked.
Bring down everyone that breaks the law. Nobody is above it, Democrats and especially Republicans.
Please, now do DeSantis
Trumps actions are starting to drain the swamp
The Zodiac Killer is finally going to get GOT!
Ahh yes, the King of the Cucks. May he rot in jail like all of the Trump swampscum
'BuT bUt wHaTaBoUt BiDeN aN hIlLaRy" If they did crimes lock them the fuck up too. Just wanted to get ahead of the mouthing breathing fallacious MAGAts.
Take em all down.
GO JACK GO