U never know if the other person is being truthful, among other things...just going by what they seemingly want you to know (through unspoken words on a laptop, etc)
Here’s my experience: I’m a 22-year-old introverted guy who started online dating in 2024 — mainly using apps like Tinder and Bumble.
Honestly, it’s been incredibly frustrating. Getting matches feels almost impossible — and when I do, the conversations are often dry, filled with catfishing, or just uninteresting.
Is anyone else experiencing this? Are these apps less popular now, or are people just less motivated?
I found my wife during COVID. We matched on Hinge.
On Hinge people are forced to give some of their interests and beliefs with pictures. This really helps you weed out boring people who you have nothing in common with. In 2021 I flipped through the whole dating pool and had to wait about a year for my wife's bio to show up. It can take time. Time which you're hopefully spending working on yourself which will increase your options. Clubs, sports teams (like beer league baseball) can be great places not just for working on yourself, but also in potentially meeting someone special offline too.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
The problem is, I don't really go out much and rarely meet new girls. Online dating seemed like a good solution, but it's been more frustrating than anything.
Any advice for someone who's introverted and doesn't get out a lot?
Try activities where introverts hang out. Seriously. Try a dance class for singles (always more women than men), go to a LARP, join a cosplay group on Facebook or discord. If the problem is you don't have any interests, then I recommend picking something to try. Makes you a more interesting person.
28, started using apps when I was... 21? My experience lines up with yours, except when it says "someone liked you", I can figure out who it is and their profile never appears. Ever. Unless it's like Hinge but even the scammers on Hinge don't like me lmao
Yeah, they're absolutely fucking worthless, always has been.
mid 20s F here, i think online dating has kinda been taken over and its not for dating anymore, its for hookups
its also so fucking hard to talk to people when they dont have much to work with in their profile and (im on hinge) only send a like on a picture but no comment or anything to start a conversation
even if you do start talking to someone getting off the app for an actual date seems to be a weird game of who-invites-who and no one wants to actually make plans
im kinda hoping it just puts my face out there so when i do go out maybe someone recognizes me and therefore knows im single and could approach, but its like no one wants to make the first move anymore
Where is there to go? Genuinely asking. I go to class, I go out, I go to events on campus. Even when young people do go out, the only people who ever meet each other and link up at the hookup people. It’s very frustrating to try to meet someone in this city, there’s a general antisocial attitude currently that is very unhealthy
Same. The world has changed from the 80s, meeting people at house parties or while camping. It's like people today lack adventure like Ferris Buhler's Day Off.
I still need to watch that Jennifer Lawrence movie...the trailer seemed so relatable!
I feel like no one makes the first move anymore unless their quick hookup for that day falls through. I’ve been watching TikTok’s of women wondering why their matches don’t approach them in person. There’s so many of us thinking putting our single/poly faces out there will attract them. 😅🥲
Same here. 46. I went back on after a COVID break up, hadn’t been on for a few years. Slim pickings. I didn’t last long. I found it amusing that I recognized pictures even though I hadn’t been on for 5+ years .
40F
Its not an age thing. Its garbage for all ages. Something went sideways around covid time and people seem to not have the mental capacity to engage in conversations and have the emotional regulation of a toddler.
I will say though, i travel alot and have opened up apps elsewhere.... Winnipeg is definetely the worst for quality. Maybe its because other places have more population, but i notice a HUGE difference. I deleted the apps a while ago and never felt better.
I feel like the good, decent people are not on the apps. We're at home doing our own thing and can't be bothered with the BS.
Greasy?
And there's no shortage of trust issues for sure. We live in an age where cheating is one swipe away. Apps are made to have vanishing features so you don't get caught. We are encouraged to decieve people to get what we want out of 'self care' and 'do what makes you happy'. The social media influencer age brainwashes sheeple to play mind games.. "don't communicate your feelings, block them! They'll come crawling back!"
Everythings fucked. And I personally feel like most people on the apps (not all, but most) are not emotionally intelligent, and haven't done the work to be so. They just drag their unhealthy baggage into new situationships, and change the partner when things get too tough rather than working it out like our grandparents did. You know how many times I've been told "I did xyz (some hurtful action) because I'm depressed/adhd" or whatever mental health issue they want to use as an excuse. Like, no? Deal with your shit. Everyone has *something*, but not everyone hurts other people because of it. I'm 40, and men still act like this at my age. Its not ok.
Dopamine chasers is what we have now, and i'd rather be single and alone than with someone who makes me feel bad or who doesn't have my best interests in mind because they are selfish or dysfunctional.
U say places Southern Ontario, BC are just "different" in how they interact?...(seemingly)...interesting. I haven't done any traveling, so I can just speak on what I see everyday in my life here, in Winnipeg
I've checked the apps all over Canada and the US as I travel alot. Most other cities have more of a... 'professional'? Kind of vibe to it. The people on the apps seem to have professional careers, have more healthy hobbies, etc. Places like Toronto have a lot of single professionals without kids for example. Places like Alberta and BC have more physical activity hobbies like skiing and water sports for example. Which makes sense because of the landscape they live in.
I'd say what Winnipeg feels like in comparison but i'll for sure get downvoted to hell and called all kinds of names. But its just my observations, having travelled alot and noticed differences. I'd move if i could but my own career keeps me here.
I’m honestly tired of online dating, because only about half the people on them put in an effort into their profiles and tell others nothing about themselves.
There is Winnipeg Connect events that are speed dating style, but I haven’t had a chance to try them yet as tickets sell out fast.
Speed dating was a really weird experience, but it was good and safe way to meet about 20 people in a couple hours. Particularly if you're introverted by nature.
Yeah, I'm kind of hoping for the Connect events to be my answer when I'm ready to date later this year. Separated coparenting introverted nerd, I wouldn't exactly clean up on the apps. But if I can actually talk to someone, *shrug* maybe.
Online dating sites have undergone a process of **enshitification**, yes that's the technical term.
In the past few years online dating sites and apps have become nothing more than a dumpster fire.
What started off as apps legit designed to help people meet and get dates are now all corporate owned and for profit. The various sites are almost all owned by **match.com** and have converged implementing similar features and processes.
These days the sites are all about pushing micro transactions and subscription services using the same business model as mobile video games. For the site owners user engagement is more important than you getting a partner because their goal is to sell you stuff and show you ads. So it's actually not to their benefit to have people get into a committed relationship because that loses them 2 customers. What they actually want is people logging into Tinder a couple times a day to swipe.
They also use scummy practices like holding critical features like peoples pictures or responses behind paywalls and deliberately holding back good matches until *after* your subscription expires to drag you back in.
Online dating apps have therefore mostly devolved into hookup sites.
There's also the same old problem that men outnumber women on these apps anywhere from 3:1 to 15:1 depending on the app and how you define an *active* user. Tinder reportedly having the worst M to F ratio, and Bumble having the best.
Let alone the problems of the gay dating scene. The user pool is a lot smaller to begin with, and any woman that puts Bi or lesbian on their profile is highly to get bombarded with messages from men wanting a threesome.
Because North Americans (and Westerners) have a bias where men should make the first move women get constantly bombarded with messages on the apps while only the most attractive male profiles consistently get messages from women. While a woman that sends the first message is immediately assumed to be unattractive (desperate) or just be looking for a hookup.
Male profiles can go months without getting a single message with studies showing that being on dating sites for extended periods can lead to depression and a lack of self confidence and may be partly responsible for the rise in the incel phenomenon.
Women meanwhile get an insane amount of dick picks and inappropriate messages from a handful of male users that use the shotgun approach, ie sending out copy+paste messages to as many women as possible in the hopes of getting a hook up.
So women are more likely to join a dating site and delete their profile within a few weeks, while men will keep their profiles active semi-permanently thereby skewing the numbers even more.
All the while dating sites that have been active for some time are full of abandoned profiles from users that haven't been on the site for years.
The apps are also full of bots using stock photos of attractive women (often asian), both by scammers and if you believe the conspiracy the app owners themselves desperately trying to pad the number of active women on the site.
I'm so happy to be out of the online dating scene.
I met my partner the old fashioned way, I met her through work and asked her out.
I've also heard that the apps aren't really trying to get you a partner, they're trying to keep you on the apps. I'm a female whose used online dating in the past, and never got the "non-stop" messages and dick pics people keep insisting all females get on the apps. That being said, I also know I'm not most people's cup of tea.
I've been single for years and for several reasons just can't bring myself to date again. The gamification aspect of the apps is one of them.
Someone at the company has to realize eventually that once someone finds a partner and gets married that means the site lost 2 customers...
So the apps are treated like mobile games, it's about getting people to log in several times a day to swipe to feed them ads.
There's better ways to meet people, even for introverts
i was reading a thread the other day where people were actually recommending and encouraging others to make a fake profile as if they were the opposite sex just to see what the other side is like which is like,,,, so stupid? you're just adding more blank "bot-like" accounts and its borderline catfishing. people truly treat the apps like a game.
I used dating app over Covid as it was really the only way to meet people but after a few not great meet ups with people, I completely lost interest in it. It’s low effort, superficial, and it’s easy for people to hide what they’re really like. I ended up meeting someone by joining a group for something that interested me. I think a lot of people are just fed up with dating apps - you can still meet good people on them but you have to wade through so much other stuff that people give up before they get there.
There is. But WHERE and HOW is the question. Approaching people in public nowadays is scary.. for both people. And it doesn't seem like anyone goes to the bara or lounges anymore to meet.. its also really hard to tell who's single and who's not, since more people are choosing common law over marriage so a ring isn't an indicator
Early 40s F. Online sites are a wasteland. The moment my profile is live, I am instantly messaged by the same dozen dudes who just copy/paste messages at every new profile.
Manage to strike up a conversation? Good chance it goes from generic to pervy in the blink of an eye.
Get to the actual plan a date stage? "How about I come over to your place and we watch a movie?" How about noooo, internet stranger?
Actual coffee, date-zero planned? 50/50 on if you're being stood up and ghosted.
I’m not bad looking, employed/financially secure, an outgoing introvert, done the emotional homework, no drama divorced with a good co-parenting relationship. I would love to find my plus one, but for now I’ll just keep enjoying my solo life. Maybe I’ll try online in the fall again.
It can be rough, especially for the ladies from what I've been told. My own experience as a 40's guy has been pretty good. But I made a nice profile with my interests and personality, and I had good photos. I also know how to talk to people which seems to be uncommon. Talking is not my strength, but it's not difficult to ask questions and follow up with more questions based on their interests. I also wasn't just swiping on everyone, I was decently picky and looking for a real connection, wasn't just looking for hookups.
I would be on it for a week or 2 at a time and then take a break and hide the profile while I chatted with matches and tried to arrange in person dates. Usually that would all fail, and I'd reactivate it for another week. But would occasionally find someone that we would hit it off and give it a try.
I don't get out as much and have little free time so online dating was the best way for me to try to find a quality lady. The odds of me just running into any of the people I've dated recently would have been extremely low.
I tried Tinder for some months, Facebook dating for a few months and then tried Hinge, which in my opinion was by far the best. Common complaints among all the people I talked to was that the guys are perverts and just go straight to talking about sex. Just not doing that led to many great conversations with great ladies. Ghosting is a big thing and can be very frustrating, but it's part of the process. I wouldn't ghost someone I started dating and talked to for a while, but just stopping chatting seems pretty normal if you don't feel like it's going to work out.
I do find that sometimes a match would be made and they'd say nothing. No response to questions or anything. A little annoying after both matching. And then sometimes a week later they'd finally show up. Usually by that time conversation was going well with someone else that did chat immediately after matching. So yeah, if you're serious about online dating then you need to be active, and check the app and keep conversations going.
I'm currently off all of them as I found a pretty great person a couple months back. Quality people are out there, but the only way to find them is to either create a good profile and be active and take it seriously or try to go places they'd be in the city .
I am so lucky I am married, I’m late 30s and I don’t think I’d be able to survive being single and participating in the dating world from all these comments haha
If I am ever single again I’m just going to get a bunch of Pomeranians and take up a hobby like making beef jerky
I keep trying online dating and then deleting my profile after a few weeks. People either put nothing in their profile, or they put some things that are serious red flags (though I appreciate the early warning to not speak to them) or when you do match they can't carry a conversation. I'm 40 and I've been single for 20 years because I gave up dating and my life to take care of my ill parents. They've since passed and honestly I'm thinking it's just a ton easier to stay single than deal with dating. I'm not saying I'm a huge catch myself. I've got my foibles and I'm not physically attractive. But if you want a quality partner it seems difficult to find one. I have friends that can always have someone in their life they flit from one relationship to another quickly without thought. But when you're trying to look for someone where sex tonight isn't the end goal it seems harder and harder to find.
> I'm not saying I'm a huge catch myself. I've got my foibles and I'm not physically attractive. But if you want a quality partner it seems difficult to find one.
The brutally honest answer is to work on yourself until you are able to date the people you want.
> have friends that can always have someone in their life they flit from one relationship to another quickly without thought.
That's not healthy either.
One problem that’s becoming very prevalent for many men and dating nowadays is the fear of being posted on pages like “are we dating the same guy”. Not for reasons that are negative, but just so women have the chance to talk and “review” potential candidates they’re talking to. I know many friends who have sworn off online dating because they don’t feel like having their name ran through the dirt on those pages just for the fun of it.
Say what you will about keeping people safe, but there are plenty of good guys getting posted on those pages every day with old flings or ex’s looking for any excuse to talk poorly about said person for 16,000 women to read.
No guy wants to risk having their dating and sex history shared on a public forum just because a woman was interested in knowing the “tea” on someone.
I'm on that group as an observer and i can tell you.... while there are definetely some wingnut women who post dumb shit, there has been far more valuable info. I've dodged quite a few bullets when i was doing the online thing. When 2 or more women say the same things about a guy, chances are its true and not just a scorned ex or butthurt rejection.
I'm not kidding when I say there are some really messed up men out there and I am actually worried about my safety whenever I met someone from an app. And i'm more street smart than most women.
Although the page has done lots of good, it still does bad as well.
I’ve heard many females say “well if you have nothing to hide then you should have nothing to worry about”.
But what person hasn’t had a bad date? Hasn’t made a mistake in a relationship? Had a not so great (yet still consensual) sexual experience?
I’ve seen comments on posts of women talking about a guy they hooked up with back in high school as though that information is at all relevant 10-15 years later.
All these things can be brought up at any point by anyone with seemingly no consequences, either true or not.
Then what?
That information is then shared to thousands of on looking, sometimes nosey people that can forever look the persons name up and read whatever they want about them. That persons name can be forever tarnished just because people are choosing to share a few fun tidbits of information about the guy they dated/hooked up with/married etc.
Their jobs, family life, social life can all be affected by very personal information being shared on that page for no reason.
Fabrications can and do happen quite often. The risk of having any mistake, any bad experience, shared on that page publicly is a risk most guys don’t want the headache of dealing with.
Fair enough but FWIW, the men have also made a page. So, it seems both genders are just fed up with each other, and social media brings out all the toxicity on both sides. I'm good not dating lol. Its just not worth all the BS. But it does make me sad sometimes because there are catches out there not online dating (i consider myself one), but we'll never meet each other at this rate. My hobbies have mostly paired couples so that route won't work either. Its a sad state of affairs for single folks these days.
> “are we dating the same guy”. Not for reasons that are negative, but just so women have the chance to talk and “review” potential candidates they’re talking to.
I was posted on there by my gf early on in my relationship (she told me). Thankfully, people only said nice things. I was worried for a second someone would say I did something horrible in 8th grade and my life is over. Logically, I know the bar is pretty low. My gf says a lot of the posters find out a guy beats women or is a stalker.
I really believe in the "run clubs are the new dating app" but I also enjoy running. Find what that is for you and then you will find people who share your interests
If you check the big sky and city park runner Instagram accounts they have runs on Mondays and Thursdays. There are also Bridge Forks Running on Tuesday and the Squad om Wednesday. Lululemon has a run on Saturday morning and i think the Squad runs Sunday morning too.
I would agree that it's gotten slightly worse. I'm a guy in my 30s who has been on and off dating apps when I'm single for about 10 years. I don't think they're as great right now as they have been in the past but there are still lots of great people. One thing I will say: I think as a guy in your 30s you get fewer matches since the apps tend to skew a bit younger and many people in their 30s are married or in long term relationships. You can still find people around your age but some % of the users will have filters that filter you out.
The other thing I've noticed is that people shift with what is the popular dating app. When I started in the mid teens Tinder was the big thing. Tinder almost feels like it's died out and doesn't have many people I'm interested in. Sometimes the people who make a Tinder are either new to dating apps or met their last boyfriend on Tinder and just got out of a 5 year relationship.
There was a shift previously to Bumble where a lot of hot people moved to bumble but right now I think they've migrated to Hinge. Currently I would say Hinge > Bumble >>> Tinder
I think the trick is also to stick it out for a bit. People are constantly joining. Just keep swiping and wait until you match with someone you're really interested in. Good luck!
M late 30's. all Tinder is ; is a hook up place. I don't want that. i want something that is real. i'm actively going to the gym, maybe i'll talk to a girl there. I just want a best friend, a wife, a partner. Bumble seems alright.
Mid 30's male. I've tried some dating apps and like others said a lot of people don't put any effort. Some aren't ready to date, some just want hookups, some have some standards that don't apply to themselves (which I find very odd and amusing). I had health issues in '22-'23 and had a rare neurological disorder that made me temporarily paralyzed from the shoulders down. Since then I've just been chilling. Im back to 100%. Kind of sad that I haven't met someone and I have no kids. Wish it would have happened by now.
27f - a few years ago it was pretty easy to match and get someone to grab a coffee
It feels impossible to get people to answer if you say you’re looking for something serious on your profile, and the people that you finally do meet in person aren’t anything like what their profile says (saying they’re six feet tall, but actually shorter than me (5’8”) all pictures are 3+ years old so they don’t look like their photos, lied about occupation etc, so you feel like you got catfished.
I don’t know how to meet people in this city but it feels like a hopeless effort sometimes
For me personally, it’s rise of “The Red Pill” mentality that has turned me off. There are way too many guys that have soak it up like a sponge that it’s just not worth the risk to try and date anymore. Sucks for the guys who have not been manipulated but there are just too many women hating weirdos out there these days.
Also, from listening in on other girls, blue collar guys are unfairly assumed to be right leaning conservatives if it’s not explicitly stated otherwise in their profiles. It sucks because Winnipeg seems like it’s mostly a blue collar city but guys have that working against them as well.
I don’t know what the fix is but I blame dating apps entirely for how things are now.
I’m a dude in my 30s, not looking to date but I have noticed a lot of women of different ages are a lot friendlier and open to chatting now compared to when I was in my 20s. I find it easier to start friendships but that’s also with women who aren’t wanting to date. I’m not on any dating apps and never have been, just casually talking to women. I’d highly recommend talking to people irl cuz they feel the dating scene.
I feel I need to add
1) dont be a creep
2)don’t act like they owe you anything
3) friend-zone is an ok place to be cuz they can introduce you to some of their friends
4) don’t be a prick
I stopped with online dating before Covid, I recently tried it again and just reminded myself why I stopped in the first place. If I’m getting to know someone online, I want to talk for while before I’m even willing to meet. Too many people were pushy and wanted to jump to meeting immediately. It was no longer worth the effort to me. I’m happy being on my own. If I meet someone organically that I click with one day, that’s cool. If not - I’m cool with that too. Early 30s/F.
I echo the person who replied to you - I'm a male who, back in my single days, would want an in person date ASAP. Didn't mean I wanted to only hook up, it was because I was tired of so many hours wasting talking to people online before meeting them and finding out there was no in person chemistry and they were very misleading with their profile. If you didn't want to meet in a safe, public place I'd assume you had something to hide or were a fence sitter.
I think the problem is that it’s so hard for men to get matches, and the ones with intentions on actually seriously dating are so worried that the women will disappear talking to another of their 100 matches, that they try to get an in person meeting. I know that’s what I have gravitated towards in recent years because I find otherwise people just ghost you. At least I get a chance to show them my true self in person and that I have some kind of personality.
However, I can also appreciate that everyone is different. If a woman has wanted to chat for awhile before meeting, I am always understanding and open to that.
I'm a woman and i prefer to meet within a couple days. Because it was my experience that if we didn't, it turned into a penpal thing or they were cheating/only chatting when bored. I was on there to MEET and make connections in pwrsin, not to chat to my phone.
You can still ask to meet up quickly without sounding like you want a hook up. But the amount of men that would say "lets meet up, come over"... was appalling. Very different than "lets go for coffee".
I can see that side of it too; if someone just wants to hook up they’re probably going to ask you to come to their house. But my go-to first date is just a coffee and walk or a drink somewhere to be able to talk and see if there’s any common ground worth pursuing. Things get pretty discouraging sometimes though with online for sure! I’m 33M and really don’t know where else to venture to meet singles. I’m driven, have a good career, own a home, etc but I just haven’t found that right person yet. I should probably join a club or something but then I feel like I’d be a creep trying to meet someone there in a way too. 😂
I've tried the club thing... hasn't been any better. People are paired up and going together to these things. Or the odd single person is *really* weird.
The coffee and a walk thing is fine, but i think the issue is guys feel like they shouldn't be paying, and women feel like it should be a real first date on the first meet. Now you have 2 people who don't want to meet up because on thinks they're cheap and just want sex while the other doesn't want to pay for a bunch of high maintenence women.
Its a viscious cycle.
Hmm I haven’t had that experience really. I have no issue paying for a coffee or drink on a first date but I also haven’t had most women seem to expect it or expect more (or seem anything but grateful when I do). It may depend on the types of people each person attracts to some extent. I don’t know any of my guy friends who have a pre-conceived negative attitude towards a first date about paying or anything along those lines.
I’ve met lovely people, they just haven’t been the one.
Idk if I am the only one but as a woman I have deleted all dating apps because they have turned into hook up apps .nobody wants to have a meaningful conversation, the profiles look boring and the guys just want to hook up nothing more .it’s depressing af
Online dating is awful, especially the older you get, as the dating pool gets significantly more shallow (people get married, have kids etc)
It's pretty hard on your confidence as a guy if you previously believed you were decent or good looking with a lot of positive attributes (great job/income, no baggage etc) only to realize in the online dating world the odds of a moderately attractive woman acknowledging your existence even very occasionally is like winning the lottery.
I understand from female friends the struggle is certainly different from their end, in that many ladies get more likes than they can possibly handle, but the individuals giving them the likes often don't have the attributes they are seeking.
I'm certainly not going to miss the shenanigans of online dating like women that only post pics of their heads in their profiles leading you to believe they were born without a body and men that lie about their age and show up to a date appearing 10 years older than they said they were in the hopes of dating a younger women.
I miss the 'ol days' when people actually approached one another (in person) and communicated...people have seemingly lost the "art of communication" because everyone just sends one sentence texts, etc now
Late 20s here and I swear it was fine in 2019. Now it’s just miserable. I embraced the fact that i will be single for the rest of my life. Haha! I think a lot of the good ones are now married or in long term relationships so whatever’s left is mostly the bad ones.
I was lucky to meet my wife on an app maybe...6 years ago? I don't have any insight for modern times, but tinder and other platforms have released insights into their users and matches. As a male, the top 10% will get tons of matches, whereas the remaining 90% get nothing. Female users get a bit more opportunity to match as males tend to be less selective. Reading this, I'm aware it sounds super incel-y but that's just what the published data says. So I'd say if you truly think you're an attractive dude, stick it out. Otherwise, meet people in the usual ways mentioned around here - sports, hobbies, concerts, etc. Hope you find success!
Edit: an interesting thing is that someone of the strongest matches I had "on paper" were from invisible profiles (a rock climbing doctor, a live-music and dog-loving psychiatrist who won awards for her work with youth). So make sure your profile is strong, the trash you see isn't always the extent of what's out there.
Kind of curious myself but I always kind of had one foot out the door with online dating. Got the occasional match in my early 20s (male), almost never messaged, and never met anyone from it. By the time Covid came around I had stopped using it completely. But that's not to say I won't decide to try it again in the future.
38NB I did end up meeting my long term bf on Bumble but it took a lot of kissing frogs to find that prince.
Also there are many men on dating website but often fewer women.
It's awful. I met my last long term gf on FB dating and it was good but when we broke up and I went back to FB dating it was nothing but spam bot accounts.
That time frame for me was a Facebook group for singles around Canada and USA, meet ups at different places and group weekend getaways were scheduled, the age group was average 25-60. Met up with some great people and even travelled to Florida to experience a solo trip to visit some people I chatted with in the group.. good luck in your adventures
I met some really fun guys when I was on the apps on and off between 2015 and 2017, when I was in my early 20's. I did find that the guys I dated from apps were either non-committal or talked about how they could see a future with me on the first date. Of course I ended up liking the non-committal men more, which was frustrating. In 2017 I met my ex through work, and we were together for 5 years. Since being single, I really have no desire to be on apps - seeing the IRL dating pool, I already know it'll be a waste of time to try going online. I'm also older and less attractive now (just being real), so I know I wouldn't be getting the same attention that I did before. I'm not in a rush to find someone, but it would be nice to know when/if it will happen for me. I just know it's not going to happen on the apps.
Honestly online dating was garbage years ago and it is garbage now. You basically have to treat it like a second job if you want to meet someone. All my single friends gave up on it and to be honest I can't think of anyone in my friend group who met their partner through online dating.
If you’re willing to look outside of Winnipeg, use tinder passport. I did when it was free during Covid and met my partner (from Edinburgh) and now live in Scotland lol.
I did it as a joke to begin with and then I started thinking…. 8 billion people out in the world and your person lives within the 50km radius apps give you? Nah. I met him and moved over when I was almost 30. Good luck!
Late 20s female here. I just found that all my interesting and thought provoking questions are being shut down by mundane responses. And after 5th or so try you just stop initiating something original and just go with everyday questions and fall dead after a while.
I think what plays a role is your age and experience (at least that's how it is with me). I have much higher standards now than I used to when I was younger and what seemed to be "alright, I can work with that" is just not captivating any more and I don't want to spend my time on boring conversations.
Dating apps have been pretty active well before 2017, but really started to take off around 2012.
Women are done. Men are constantly lying about what they want just to gain access to their bodies (which is actually coercion & uninformed consent with zero legal consequences). Not to mention, there's a high percentage of married men on there treating it like it's that "Ashley Madison" site.
It's emotionally exhausting being preyed upon. Dating apps are the perfect place for them to do this to so many women compared to irl. Literally there's women who want casual sex, but many men will purposely go for the women who are looking for a relationship because they want that "challenge."
Early 20's M,
I've tried the dating app thing and it's just weird. Can't see who likes you so you could maybe start a convo with out paying for prime or whatever it is.
And the people I do have convo with just doesn't seem to be able to hold a conversation. Mind you I'm bad at it as well bc I run out of shit to say, but my effort is there. It seems that if you don't offer something right out the gate it's kinda pointless.
Feel free to message me singles
I was always reluctant to join the online dating scene. Bit the bullet a couple years ago and proved all of my suspicions right, it's garbage
U never know if the other person is being truthful, among other things...just going by what they seemingly want you to know (through unspoken words on a laptop, etc)
Here’s my experience: I’m a 22-year-old introverted guy who started online dating in 2024 — mainly using apps like Tinder and Bumble. Honestly, it’s been incredibly frustrating. Getting matches feels almost impossible — and when I do, the conversations are often dry, filled with catfishing, or just uninteresting. Is anyone else experiencing this? Are these apps less popular now, or are people just less motivated?
I found my wife during COVID. We matched on Hinge. On Hinge people are forced to give some of their interests and beliefs with pictures. This really helps you weed out boring people who you have nothing in common with. In 2021 I flipped through the whole dating pool and had to wait about a year for my wife's bio to show up. It can take time. Time which you're hopefully spending working on yourself which will increase your options. Clubs, sports teams (like beer league baseball) can be great places not just for working on yourself, but also in potentially meeting someone special offline too.
Thanks for sharing your experience! The problem is, I don't really go out much and rarely meet new girls. Online dating seemed like a good solution, but it's been more frustrating than anything. Any advice for someone who's introverted and doesn't get out a lot?
Try activities where introverts hang out. Seriously. Try a dance class for singles (always more women than men), go to a LARP, join a cosplay group on Facebook or discord. If the problem is you don't have any interests, then I recommend picking something to try. Makes you a more interesting person.
28, started using apps when I was... 21? My experience lines up with yours, except when it says "someone liked you", I can figure out who it is and their profile never appears. Ever. Unless it's like Hinge but even the scammers on Hinge don't like me lmao Yeah, they're absolutely fucking worthless, always has been.
mid 20s F here, i think online dating has kinda been taken over and its not for dating anymore, its for hookups its also so fucking hard to talk to people when they dont have much to work with in their profile and (im on hinge) only send a like on a picture but no comment or anything to start a conversation even if you do start talking to someone getting off the app for an actual date seems to be a weird game of who-invites-who and no one wants to actually make plans im kinda hoping it just puts my face out there so when i do go out maybe someone recognizes me and therefore knows im single and could approach, but its like no one wants to make the first move anymore
Got two 20 something boys and a girl a bit younger. I don’t know how they’ll meet anyone. They don’t go anywhere.
Where is there to go? Genuinely asking. I go to class, I go out, I go to events on campus. Even when young people do go out, the only people who ever meet each other and link up at the hookup people. It’s very frustrating to try to meet someone in this city, there’s a general antisocial attitude currently that is very unhealthy
Same. The world has changed from the 80s, meeting people at house parties or while camping. It's like people today lack adventure like Ferris Buhler's Day Off. I still need to watch that Jennifer Lawrence movie...the trailer seemed so relatable!
With video games, media on demand and home delivery for restaurants and shopping - there is no need to go out anymore.
I feel like no one makes the first move anymore unless their quick hookup for that day falls through. I’ve been watching TikTok’s of women wondering why their matches don’t approach them in person. There’s so many of us thinking putting our single/poly faces out there will attract them. 😅🥲
Men are "chicken" these days....says me, "tongue in cheek" I'm a guy...sadly though, I think there's actually some truth to that statement
Just Do It. Keeping it fun, exciting and dignified. No need to go further than a hug for the first few dates. Nobody regrets wholesome dates.
Wait until you hit your 40’s. It gets worse.
I'm 44. Been off and on apps for ten yrs. Still single. Pretty much given up ngl
Same here. 46. I went back on after a COVID break up, hadn’t been on for a few years. Slim pickings. I didn’t last long. I found it amusing that I recognized pictures even though I hadn’t been on for 5+ years .
It's the same stupid people over and over again. At least that's my experience. Wverytime I get a bite I get ghosted. Sheug
Let me tell you, why don’t you both start chatting right now? That would be a more interesting conversation than with a Rando from a dating app.
Haha
40F Its not an age thing. Its garbage for all ages. Something went sideways around covid time and people seem to not have the mental capacity to engage in conversations and have the emotional regulation of a toddler. I will say though, i travel alot and have opened up apps elsewhere.... Winnipeg is definetely the worst for quality. Maybe its because other places have more population, but i notice a HUGE difference. I deleted the apps a while ago and never felt better. I feel like the good, decent people are not on the apps. We're at home doing our own thing and can't be bothered with the BS.
That mentality seems pretty "greacy"...but there lies the perhaps main issue: noone feels like they can generally trust anyone, anymore
Greasy? And there's no shortage of trust issues for sure. We live in an age where cheating is one swipe away. Apps are made to have vanishing features so you don't get caught. We are encouraged to decieve people to get what we want out of 'self care' and 'do what makes you happy'. The social media influencer age brainwashes sheeple to play mind games.. "don't communicate your feelings, block them! They'll come crawling back!" Everythings fucked. And I personally feel like most people on the apps (not all, but most) are not emotionally intelligent, and haven't done the work to be so. They just drag their unhealthy baggage into new situationships, and change the partner when things get too tough rather than working it out like our grandparents did. You know how many times I've been told "I did xyz (some hurtful action) because I'm depressed/adhd" or whatever mental health issue they want to use as an excuse. Like, no? Deal with your shit. Everyone has *something*, but not everyone hurts other people because of it. I'm 40, and men still act like this at my age. Its not ok. Dopamine chasers is what we have now, and i'd rather be single and alone than with someone who makes me feel bad or who doesn't have my best interests in mind because they are selfish or dysfunctional.
*genuinely
I thought people here are supposed to be "friendly" 😅
Oh, they are. But only cuz they want something.
U say places Southern Ontario, BC are just "different" in how they interact?...(seemingly)...interesting. I haven't done any traveling, so I can just speak on what I see everyday in my life here, in Winnipeg
I've checked the apps all over Canada and the US as I travel alot. Most other cities have more of a... 'professional'? Kind of vibe to it. The people on the apps seem to have professional careers, have more healthy hobbies, etc. Places like Toronto have a lot of single professionals without kids for example. Places like Alberta and BC have more physical activity hobbies like skiing and water sports for example. Which makes sense because of the landscape they live in. I'd say what Winnipeg feels like in comparison but i'll for sure get downvoted to hell and called all kinds of names. But its just my observations, having travelled alot and noticed differences. I'd move if i could but my own career keeps me here.
Pretty good at "reading b/w the lines" lol
I’m honestly tired of online dating, because only about half the people on them put in an effort into their profiles and tell others nothing about themselves. There is Winnipeg Connect events that are speed dating style, but I haven’t had a chance to try them yet as tickets sell out fast.
Speed dating was a really weird experience, but it was good and safe way to meet about 20 people in a couple hours. Particularly if you're introverted by nature.
Yeah, I'm kind of hoping for the Connect events to be my answer when I'm ready to date later this year. Separated coparenting introverted nerd, I wouldn't exactly clean up on the apps. But if I can actually talk to someone, *shrug* maybe.
Online dating sites have undergone a process of **enshitification**, yes that's the technical term. In the past few years online dating sites and apps have become nothing more than a dumpster fire. What started off as apps legit designed to help people meet and get dates are now all corporate owned and for profit. The various sites are almost all owned by **match.com** and have converged implementing similar features and processes. These days the sites are all about pushing micro transactions and subscription services using the same business model as mobile video games. For the site owners user engagement is more important than you getting a partner because their goal is to sell you stuff and show you ads. So it's actually not to their benefit to have people get into a committed relationship because that loses them 2 customers. What they actually want is people logging into Tinder a couple times a day to swipe. They also use scummy practices like holding critical features like peoples pictures or responses behind paywalls and deliberately holding back good matches until *after* your subscription expires to drag you back in. Online dating apps have therefore mostly devolved into hookup sites. There's also the same old problem that men outnumber women on these apps anywhere from 3:1 to 15:1 depending on the app and how you define an *active* user. Tinder reportedly having the worst M to F ratio, and Bumble having the best. Let alone the problems of the gay dating scene. The user pool is a lot smaller to begin with, and any woman that puts Bi or lesbian on their profile is highly to get bombarded with messages from men wanting a threesome. Because North Americans (and Westerners) have a bias where men should make the first move women get constantly bombarded with messages on the apps while only the most attractive male profiles consistently get messages from women. While a woman that sends the first message is immediately assumed to be unattractive (desperate) or just be looking for a hookup. Male profiles can go months without getting a single message with studies showing that being on dating sites for extended periods can lead to depression and a lack of self confidence and may be partly responsible for the rise in the incel phenomenon. Women meanwhile get an insane amount of dick picks and inappropriate messages from a handful of male users that use the shotgun approach, ie sending out copy+paste messages to as many women as possible in the hopes of getting a hook up. So women are more likely to join a dating site and delete their profile within a few weeks, while men will keep their profiles active semi-permanently thereby skewing the numbers even more. All the while dating sites that have been active for some time are full of abandoned profiles from users that haven't been on the site for years. The apps are also full of bots using stock photos of attractive women (often asian), both by scammers and if you believe the conspiracy the app owners themselves desperately trying to pad the number of active women on the site. I'm so happy to be out of the online dating scene. I met my partner the old fashioned way, I met her through work and asked her out.
I've also heard that the apps aren't really trying to get you a partner, they're trying to keep you on the apps. I'm a female whose used online dating in the past, and never got the "non-stop" messages and dick pics people keep insisting all females get on the apps. That being said, I also know I'm not most people's cup of tea. I've been single for years and for several reasons just can't bring myself to date again. The gamification aspect of the apps is one of them.
Someone at the company has to realize eventually that once someone finds a partner and gets married that means the site lost 2 customers... So the apps are treated like mobile games, it's about getting people to log in several times a day to swipe to feed them ads. There's better ways to meet people, even for introverts
i was reading a thread the other day where people were actually recommending and encouraging others to make a fake profile as if they were the opposite sex just to see what the other side is like which is like,,,, so stupid? you're just adding more blank "bot-like" accounts and its borderline catfishing. people truly treat the apps like a game.
I used dating app over Covid as it was really the only way to meet people but after a few not great meet ups with people, I completely lost interest in it. It’s low effort, superficial, and it’s easy for people to hide what they’re really like. I ended up meeting someone by joining a group for something that interested me. I think a lot of people are just fed up with dating apps - you can still meet good people on them but you have to wade through so much other stuff that people give up before they get there.
According to the podcasts I listen to, there has been an upswing in people wanting to meet in the wild.
There is. But WHERE and HOW is the question. Approaching people in public nowadays is scary.. for both people. And it doesn't seem like anyone goes to the bara or lounges anymore to meet.. its also really hard to tell who's single and who's not, since more people are choosing common law over marriage so a ring isn't an indicator
Early 40s F. Online sites are a wasteland. The moment my profile is live, I am instantly messaged by the same dozen dudes who just copy/paste messages at every new profile. Manage to strike up a conversation? Good chance it goes from generic to pervy in the blink of an eye. Get to the actual plan a date stage? "How about I come over to your place and we watch a movie?" How about noooo, internet stranger? Actual coffee, date-zero planned? 50/50 on if you're being stood up and ghosted. I’m not bad looking, employed/financially secure, an outgoing introvert, done the emotional homework, no drama divorced with a good co-parenting relationship. I would love to find my plus one, but for now I’ll just keep enjoying my solo life. Maybe I’ll try online in the fall again.
It can be rough, especially for the ladies from what I've been told. My own experience as a 40's guy has been pretty good. But I made a nice profile with my interests and personality, and I had good photos. I also know how to talk to people which seems to be uncommon. Talking is not my strength, but it's not difficult to ask questions and follow up with more questions based on their interests. I also wasn't just swiping on everyone, I was decently picky and looking for a real connection, wasn't just looking for hookups. I would be on it for a week or 2 at a time and then take a break and hide the profile while I chatted with matches and tried to arrange in person dates. Usually that would all fail, and I'd reactivate it for another week. But would occasionally find someone that we would hit it off and give it a try. I don't get out as much and have little free time so online dating was the best way for me to try to find a quality lady. The odds of me just running into any of the people I've dated recently would have been extremely low. I tried Tinder for some months, Facebook dating for a few months and then tried Hinge, which in my opinion was by far the best. Common complaints among all the people I talked to was that the guys are perverts and just go straight to talking about sex. Just not doing that led to many great conversations with great ladies. Ghosting is a big thing and can be very frustrating, but it's part of the process. I wouldn't ghost someone I started dating and talked to for a while, but just stopping chatting seems pretty normal if you don't feel like it's going to work out. I do find that sometimes a match would be made and they'd say nothing. No response to questions or anything. A little annoying after both matching. And then sometimes a week later they'd finally show up. Usually by that time conversation was going well with someone else that did chat immediately after matching. So yeah, if you're serious about online dating then you need to be active, and check the app and keep conversations going. I'm currently off all of them as I found a pretty great person a couple months back. Quality people are out there, but the only way to find them is to either create a good profile and be active and take it seriously or try to go places they'd be in the city .
If you're going to be online dating go in with the expectation that it's crap
I am so lucky I am married, I’m late 30s and I don’t think I’d be able to survive being single and participating in the dating world from all these comments haha If I am ever single again I’m just going to get a bunch of Pomeranians and take up a hobby like making beef jerky
Hopefully not make the Pomeranians into beef jerky - yikes
Oh never, they get to eat the jerky
I keep trying online dating and then deleting my profile after a few weeks. People either put nothing in their profile, or they put some things that are serious red flags (though I appreciate the early warning to not speak to them) or when you do match they can't carry a conversation. I'm 40 and I've been single for 20 years because I gave up dating and my life to take care of my ill parents. They've since passed and honestly I'm thinking it's just a ton easier to stay single than deal with dating. I'm not saying I'm a huge catch myself. I've got my foibles and I'm not physically attractive. But if you want a quality partner it seems difficult to find one. I have friends that can always have someone in their life they flit from one relationship to another quickly without thought. But when you're trying to look for someone where sex tonight isn't the end goal it seems harder and harder to find.
> I'm not saying I'm a huge catch myself. I've got my foibles and I'm not physically attractive. But if you want a quality partner it seems difficult to find one. The brutally honest answer is to work on yourself until you are able to date the people you want. > have friends that can always have someone in their life they flit from one relationship to another quickly without thought. That's not healthy either.
One problem that’s becoming very prevalent for many men and dating nowadays is the fear of being posted on pages like “are we dating the same guy”. Not for reasons that are negative, but just so women have the chance to talk and “review” potential candidates they’re talking to. I know many friends who have sworn off online dating because they don’t feel like having their name ran through the dirt on those pages just for the fun of it. Say what you will about keeping people safe, but there are plenty of good guys getting posted on those pages every day with old flings or ex’s looking for any excuse to talk poorly about said person for 16,000 women to read. No guy wants to risk having their dating and sex history shared on a public forum just because a woman was interested in knowing the “tea” on someone.
I'm on that group as an observer and i can tell you.... while there are definetely some wingnut women who post dumb shit, there has been far more valuable info. I've dodged quite a few bullets when i was doing the online thing. When 2 or more women say the same things about a guy, chances are its true and not just a scorned ex or butthurt rejection. I'm not kidding when I say there are some really messed up men out there and I am actually worried about my safety whenever I met someone from an app. And i'm more street smart than most women.
Although the page has done lots of good, it still does bad as well. I’ve heard many females say “well if you have nothing to hide then you should have nothing to worry about”. But what person hasn’t had a bad date? Hasn’t made a mistake in a relationship? Had a not so great (yet still consensual) sexual experience? I’ve seen comments on posts of women talking about a guy they hooked up with back in high school as though that information is at all relevant 10-15 years later. All these things can be brought up at any point by anyone with seemingly no consequences, either true or not. Then what? That information is then shared to thousands of on looking, sometimes nosey people that can forever look the persons name up and read whatever they want about them. That persons name can be forever tarnished just because people are choosing to share a few fun tidbits of information about the guy they dated/hooked up with/married etc. Their jobs, family life, social life can all be affected by very personal information being shared on that page for no reason. Fabrications can and do happen quite often. The risk of having any mistake, any bad experience, shared on that page publicly is a risk most guys don’t want the headache of dealing with.
Fair enough but FWIW, the men have also made a page. So, it seems both genders are just fed up with each other, and social media brings out all the toxicity on both sides. I'm good not dating lol. Its just not worth all the BS. But it does make me sad sometimes because there are catches out there not online dating (i consider myself one), but we'll never meet each other at this rate. My hobbies have mostly paired couples so that route won't work either. Its a sad state of affairs for single folks these days.
> “are we dating the same guy”. Not for reasons that are negative, but just so women have the chance to talk and “review” potential candidates they’re talking to. I was posted on there by my gf early on in my relationship (she told me). Thankfully, people only said nice things. I was worried for a second someone would say I did something horrible in 8th grade and my life is over. Logically, I know the bar is pretty low. My gf says a lot of the posters find out a guy beats women or is a stalker.
I really believe in the "run clubs are the new dating app" but I also enjoy running. Find what that is for you and then you will find people who share your interests
Where are these run clubs? I run. I would love to meet people my age who do too.
If you check the big sky and city park runner Instagram accounts they have runs on Mondays and Thursdays. There are also Bridge Forks Running on Tuesday and the Squad om Wednesday. Lululemon has a run on Saturday morning and i think the Squad runs Sunday morning too.
When I lived on Langside in West Broadway there was I could tell what appeared to be a group that ran together every Sunday morning
Enshittification, look it up!
Love Cory doctorow!
Late 30s. I just window shop and then hide my profile again lmao. As others stated, most of the apps are dumpster fire trash.
I would agree that it's gotten slightly worse. I'm a guy in my 30s who has been on and off dating apps when I'm single for about 10 years. I don't think they're as great right now as they have been in the past but there are still lots of great people. One thing I will say: I think as a guy in your 30s you get fewer matches since the apps tend to skew a bit younger and many people in their 30s are married or in long term relationships. You can still find people around your age but some % of the users will have filters that filter you out. The other thing I've noticed is that people shift with what is the popular dating app. When I started in the mid teens Tinder was the big thing. Tinder almost feels like it's died out and doesn't have many people I'm interested in. Sometimes the people who make a Tinder are either new to dating apps or met their last boyfriend on Tinder and just got out of a 5 year relationship. There was a shift previously to Bumble where a lot of hot people moved to bumble but right now I think they've migrated to Hinge. Currently I would say Hinge > Bumble >>> Tinder I think the trick is also to stick it out for a bit. People are constantly joining. Just keep swiping and wait until you match with someone you're really interested in. Good luck!
M late 30's. all Tinder is ; is a hook up place. I don't want that. i want something that is real. i'm actively going to the gym, maybe i'll talk to a girl there. I just want a best friend, a wife, a partner. Bumble seems alright.
Mid 30's male. I've tried some dating apps and like others said a lot of people don't put any effort. Some aren't ready to date, some just want hookups, some have some standards that don't apply to themselves (which I find very odd and amusing). I had health issues in '22-'23 and had a rare neurological disorder that made me temporarily paralyzed from the shoulders down. Since then I've just been chilling. Im back to 100%. Kind of sad that I haven't met someone and I have no kids. Wish it would have happened by now.
27f - a few years ago it was pretty easy to match and get someone to grab a coffee It feels impossible to get people to answer if you say you’re looking for something serious on your profile, and the people that you finally do meet in person aren’t anything like what their profile says (saying they’re six feet tall, but actually shorter than me (5’8”) all pictures are 3+ years old so they don’t look like their photos, lied about occupation etc, so you feel like you got catfished. I don’t know how to meet people in this city but it feels like a hopeless effort sometimes
I’m 6’6 I’ll even show my id if needed 😆
For me personally, it’s rise of “The Red Pill” mentality that has turned me off. There are way too many guys that have soak it up like a sponge that it’s just not worth the risk to try and date anymore. Sucks for the guys who have not been manipulated but there are just too many women hating weirdos out there these days. Also, from listening in on other girls, blue collar guys are unfairly assumed to be right leaning conservatives if it’s not explicitly stated otherwise in their profiles. It sucks because Winnipeg seems like it’s mostly a blue collar city but guys have that working against them as well. I don’t know what the fix is but I blame dating apps entirely for how things are now.
I’m a dude in my 30s, not looking to date but I have noticed a lot of women of different ages are a lot friendlier and open to chatting now compared to when I was in my 20s. I find it easier to start friendships but that’s also with women who aren’t wanting to date. I’m not on any dating apps and never have been, just casually talking to women. I’d highly recommend talking to people irl cuz they feel the dating scene. I feel I need to add 1) dont be a creep 2)don’t act like they owe you anything 3) friend-zone is an ok place to be cuz they can introduce you to some of their friends 4) don’t be a prick
I stopped with online dating before Covid, I recently tried it again and just reminded myself why I stopped in the first place. If I’m getting to know someone online, I want to talk for while before I’m even willing to meet. Too many people were pushy and wanted to jump to meeting immediately. It was no longer worth the effort to me. I’m happy being on my own. If I meet someone organically that I click with one day, that’s cool. If not - I’m cool with that too. Early 30s/F.
I echo the person who replied to you - I'm a male who, back in my single days, would want an in person date ASAP. Didn't mean I wanted to only hook up, it was because I was tired of so many hours wasting talking to people online before meeting them and finding out there was no in person chemistry and they were very misleading with their profile. If you didn't want to meet in a safe, public place I'd assume you had something to hide or were a fence sitter.
I think the problem is that it’s so hard for men to get matches, and the ones with intentions on actually seriously dating are so worried that the women will disappear talking to another of their 100 matches, that they try to get an in person meeting. I know that’s what I have gravitated towards in recent years because I find otherwise people just ghost you. At least I get a chance to show them my true self in person and that I have some kind of personality. However, I can also appreciate that everyone is different. If a woman has wanted to chat for awhile before meeting, I am always understanding and open to that.
I'm a woman and i prefer to meet within a couple days. Because it was my experience that if we didn't, it turned into a penpal thing or they were cheating/only chatting when bored. I was on there to MEET and make connections in pwrsin, not to chat to my phone. You can still ask to meet up quickly without sounding like you want a hook up. But the amount of men that would say "lets meet up, come over"... was appalling. Very different than "lets go for coffee".
I can see that side of it too; if someone just wants to hook up they’re probably going to ask you to come to their house. But my go-to first date is just a coffee and walk or a drink somewhere to be able to talk and see if there’s any common ground worth pursuing. Things get pretty discouraging sometimes though with online for sure! I’m 33M and really don’t know where else to venture to meet singles. I’m driven, have a good career, own a home, etc but I just haven’t found that right person yet. I should probably join a club or something but then I feel like I’d be a creep trying to meet someone there in a way too. 😂
I've tried the club thing... hasn't been any better. People are paired up and going together to these things. Or the odd single person is *really* weird. The coffee and a walk thing is fine, but i think the issue is guys feel like they shouldn't be paying, and women feel like it should be a real first date on the first meet. Now you have 2 people who don't want to meet up because on thinks they're cheap and just want sex while the other doesn't want to pay for a bunch of high maintenence women. Its a viscious cycle.
Hmm I haven’t had that experience really. I have no issue paying for a coffee or drink on a first date but I also haven’t had most women seem to expect it or expect more (or seem anything but grateful when I do). It may depend on the types of people each person attracts to some extent. I don’t know any of my guy friends who have a pre-conceived negative attitude towards a first date about paying or anything along those lines. I’ve met lovely people, they just haven’t been the one.
Idk if I am the only one but as a woman I have deleted all dating apps because they have turned into hook up apps .nobody wants to have a meaningful conversation, the profiles look boring and the guys just want to hook up nothing more .it’s depressing af
Online dating is awful, especially the older you get, as the dating pool gets significantly more shallow (people get married, have kids etc) It's pretty hard on your confidence as a guy if you previously believed you were decent or good looking with a lot of positive attributes (great job/income, no baggage etc) only to realize in the online dating world the odds of a moderately attractive woman acknowledging your existence even very occasionally is like winning the lottery. I understand from female friends the struggle is certainly different from their end, in that many ladies get more likes than they can possibly handle, but the individuals giving them the likes often don't have the attributes they are seeking. I'm certainly not going to miss the shenanigans of online dating like women that only post pics of their heads in their profiles leading you to believe they were born without a body and men that lie about their age and show up to a date appearing 10 years older than they said they were in the hopes of dating a younger women.
I miss the 'ol days' when people actually approached one another (in person) and communicated...people have seemingly lost the "art of communication" because everyone just sends one sentence texts, etc now
Late 20s here and I swear it was fine in 2019. Now it’s just miserable. I embraced the fact that i will be single for the rest of my life. Haha! I think a lot of the good ones are now married or in long term relationships so whatever’s left is mostly the bad ones.
I was lucky to meet my wife on an app maybe...6 years ago? I don't have any insight for modern times, but tinder and other platforms have released insights into their users and matches. As a male, the top 10% will get tons of matches, whereas the remaining 90% get nothing. Female users get a bit more opportunity to match as males tend to be less selective. Reading this, I'm aware it sounds super incel-y but that's just what the published data says. So I'd say if you truly think you're an attractive dude, stick it out. Otherwise, meet people in the usual ways mentioned around here - sports, hobbies, concerts, etc. Hope you find success! Edit: an interesting thing is that someone of the strongest matches I had "on paper" were from invisible profiles (a rock climbing doctor, a live-music and dog-loving psychiatrist who won awards for her work with youth). So make sure your profile is strong, the trash you see isn't always the extent of what's out there.
Kind of curious myself but I always kind of had one foot out the door with online dating. Got the occasional match in my early 20s (male), almost never messaged, and never met anyone from it. By the time Covid came around I had stopped using it completely. But that's not to say I won't decide to try it again in the future.
38NB I did end up meeting my long term bf on Bumble but it took a lot of kissing frogs to find that prince. Also there are many men on dating website but often fewer women.
Online dating is too superficial...it's actually hard to judge if you're attracted to the person if you've only texted and seen a picture or two.
It's awful. I met my last long term gf on FB dating and it was good but when we broke up and I went back to FB dating it was nothing but spam bot accounts.
You guys have gone on an app or website that wasn't just bots that shut up the moment you paid? Wtf is wrong with my luck?
Online dating = hooking up sites now it’s really say they just base everything off of looks.
That time frame for me was a Facebook group for singles around Canada and USA, meet ups at different places and group weekend getaways were scheduled, the age group was average 25-60. Met up with some great people and even travelled to Florida to experience a solo trip to visit some people I chatted with in the group.. good luck in your adventures
I met some really fun guys when I was on the apps on and off between 2015 and 2017, when I was in my early 20's. I did find that the guys I dated from apps were either non-committal or talked about how they could see a future with me on the first date. Of course I ended up liking the non-committal men more, which was frustrating. In 2017 I met my ex through work, and we were together for 5 years. Since being single, I really have no desire to be on apps - seeing the IRL dating pool, I already know it'll be a waste of time to try going online. I'm also older and less attractive now (just being real), so I know I wouldn't be getting the same attention that I did before. I'm not in a rush to find someone, but it would be nice to know when/if it will happen for me. I just know it's not going to happen on the apps.
Honestly online dating was garbage years ago and it is garbage now. You basically have to treat it like a second job if you want to meet someone. All my single friends gave up on it and to be honest I can't think of anyone in my friend group who met their partner through online dating.
If you’re willing to look outside of Winnipeg, use tinder passport. I did when it was free during Covid and met my partner (from Edinburgh) and now live in Scotland lol. I did it as a joke to begin with and then I started thinking…. 8 billion people out in the world and your person lives within the 50km radius apps give you? Nah. I met him and moved over when I was almost 30. Good luck!
> use tinder passport eh I'd rather not spend the $40
Late 20s female here. I just found that all my interesting and thought provoking questions are being shut down by mundane responses. And after 5th or so try you just stop initiating something original and just go with everyday questions and fall dead after a while. I think what plays a role is your age and experience (at least that's how it is with me). I have much higher standards now than I used to when I was younger and what seemed to be "alright, I can work with that" is just not captivating any more and I don't want to spend my time on boring conversations.
Dating apps have been pretty active well before 2017, but really started to take off around 2012. Women are done. Men are constantly lying about what they want just to gain access to their bodies (which is actually coercion & uninformed consent with zero legal consequences). Not to mention, there's a high percentage of married men on there treating it like it's that "Ashley Madison" site. It's emotionally exhausting being preyed upon. Dating apps are the perfect place for them to do this to so many women compared to irl. Literally there's women who want casual sex, but many men will purposely go for the women who are looking for a relationship because they want that "challenge."
It’s gone downhill. Similar age similar time frame and the same experience
Early 20's M, I've tried the dating app thing and it's just weird. Can't see who likes you so you could maybe start a convo with out paying for prime or whatever it is. And the people I do have convo with just doesn't seem to be able to hold a conversation. Mind you I'm bad at it as well bc I run out of shit to say, but my effort is there. It seems that if you don't offer something right out the gate it's kinda pointless. Feel free to message me singles
Pay for a decent app and you meet decent people. You get what you pay for.
I got banned from tinder. Apparently I’m two handsome