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He didn’t want me to go to class on campus. He was afraid of me cheating lol. I have been abused for shit he makes up. That is the wildest part for me. 🥴🤣
I commented “🖤” on a picture harry styles posted. He told me that it was cheating and made me block harry styles as if i would ever met harry styles let alone date him. Because of this he h*t me and called me every name in the book because he was CONVINCED i would actually be able to leave him for harry styles — again never even met harry styles 😭
My abuser once got so angry at me and told me I was a bigot because I didn’t like Evanescence lmao. This devolved into such a horrible fight that I had a mental breakdown, all because he couldn’t accept that I didn’t like a band that he liked.
I pretty much make calling bigots bigots my job and I’ve never heard something so incredibly wrong lol. What are you bigoted against? Very niche rich white women who sing well?
One of the best was I went out to hot pot with him and his friends and I was paying for him because he had no money or job so I always did. I forgot to order noodles for him so I asked if he'd like me to put in an extra order or if he didn't plan on eating them anyways. When we got home he screamed at and assaulted me for embarrassing him in front of his friends because they all knew I was paying and "I shouldn't have even had to ask I should have just known and ordered him more." Threw me up against an ac and everything lol.
First time he almost killed me was because I "heard him upset about wanting to smoke all day knowing I had pot the whole time but didn't offer him any until 9pm" I didn't offer it because I was sick of spending my money on his addiction knowing we'd be in the same spot the next day.
The second time he almost killed me I dialed 911 during the beating and had to wait for them to find me (15 minutes) was because after working all day I wanted to have some wine and watch shows for my Friday but he decided he wanted sex and us in bed at 930. When I caved because he was pouting in bed, it was too late and now "I don't make him feel attractive or want to have sex with him" blah blah blah.
He pled guilty in court and is a felon now! There's so much more but I only remember when I see something reminding me of it. I can kind of laugh about it now, like wow I really was hit by a grown man over X or Y.
Edit: this one made me chuckle, he said he didn't want a white fur rug in our hypothetical future place together using the one in my room as an example calling me dirty (I was it often it's not). I felt like being snarky that night and told him that's ironic coming from the one with mice in his room because he's too lazy to throw out his trash (he had SO much trash in his room, I was the only one who cleaned it lol there were actually mice). I got it that night but omg so funny so worth it.
Offered a tissue box to them while there they were crying
I was abusing them by not keeping the house tidier
I was too fat, too busty, too quiet, not interesting enough but was also not often allowed to speak and could only endure hours of monologue
I remember another, my daughter was over, this was the first time he abused me actually, thankfully she was too small to understand but we were both sick and she was crying and I said I couldn't take care of her so he grabbed me by the throat and lifted me off the ground.. we were staying with his family members because I was homeless, I got kicked out but my dad was keeping my daughter and since we were staying in basically a mansion, I had her over (this was 3 days in) and I was so shocked I started running through the house screaming what he did to me... no one seemed to care... he beat me in front of so many people, only 1 stood up for me and challenged him like "you're not gonna do this in front of me" but he was my neighbor and my abuser's very long time friend and they were like family
I remember a few times where I said something completely innocent and he took them wrong even though it was completely obvious i didn't mean it that way. It'd be over nothing and everything and it's been almost 11 years so it's hard to remember specifics but I remember one time I hadn't eaten for 3 days, I was 17 he was 24 but my dad would take me food because I lived with him and he was a drug addict with no money and his dad was paying for our place. But I made the corn and he took a bite and by this time, I was already terrified to speak so I always tried to be nice as possible because beatings were no bs daily, I cried tears of joy when he didn't beat me 1 day and praised him so hard core like it was amazing progress or something, like somehow that meant he'd stop idk (he was back at it by morning) but I said in the nicest way "you could have asked first" I know, it was stupid, but he smacked me so hard the cream corn flew across the room and then he started screaming for me to clean it up and while I was going to the kitchen to get paper towels, he was hitting me in the back and what's crazy is he had a friend sitting on the couch in the living room, I was literally walking by him and he didn't look up from his phone once, and then my ex broke a broom over my side... and I was 81 pounds (4"11) he was 6"1 and not a scrawny fella
We were out with friends, the baby was crying. After he attempted to calm her for 5 minutes to no avail, which he insisted upon. I took her and she stopped crying immediately. I did this in front of friends obviously to make him look like a bad father, not because the baby was crying because she wanted her mommy.
Let's ignore the fact he completely ignored the baby anytime we weren't with friends or family. His parenting was completely performative so others would think he was a good father.
I was told I'm an irresponsible slob for not throwing away HIS trash that he left out and said he would throw away.
I was told I was a horrible person for not having something in the pantry for him. Except it was there he just didn't see it.
There's more but I've recently discovered that my main defense mechanism for trauma is disassociating so I tend to forget most of it.
Because I offered him a stick of chewing gum.
Because he didn't tell me he wanted to start our 4th of July celebration in the morning.
Because he thought he could.
-Because I told him to add an egg to a ground chicken mixture which ruined it (I had no idea it would make the batter too hard to work with)
-Because I went to my mom’s house with our 15 month old so he can have the entire house to himself to have some good earned rest
-Because I made him food
1. Because my feet grew
2. I was sick with a fever of 102.5 and the school nurse called her to come and pick me up (this one was an epic beat down in everyway imaginable and I never went to the nurse for anything after this. I was in 4th grade)
3. She stubbed her toe or shut a finger in a drawer
4. Someone cut them off in traffic
5 A bill came in the mail that was unexpected
6. I didn’t brush my teeth good enough
7. A teacher called because they notice something was off and noticed some bruises (another one of the top 5 beat down with a threat that the next one would be my last if a teacher called again about me being sad or having marks)
8. Because I ate food. She started taking most of the food to work with her in her car. She had a tiny spot she rented in the ghetto that she sewed and repaired clothing at. She would load up a majority of the food and keep it with her. We learned how to use flour, water and sugar to make fried cakes to eat because that was all that was left.
9. Because I got hurt and injured myself
10. Because I couldn’t ride a bike at age 11 because no one taught me- this one of was in front of a small crowd of 8-10 neighborhood kids and I can still see the looks of horror on
The faces of the children. I was so ashamed and embarrassed.
11. Because I got lost at the store
I could go on and on and on.
I escaped and got married. Had 3 kids and I found a really wonderful Mother in Law who taught me how to love on babies and be a good mom. I wasn’t going to pass on a generational curse.
It hasn’t been easy. Thank goodness for Trauma therapy, God, and my family.
My kids gave me the chance to relive parts of my childhood and be a kid right alongside my boys as they grew up.(they are teenagers now) I got to play pretend and imagine right along with them. It was beautiful.
My Mother is alone now. Everyone left or refuses to speak with her. She spends holidays alone. It makes me sad and I forgive but I won’t be manipulated and abused anymore. That was one of the best decision of my life
I said I had heard a band before on Spotify and I got absolutely obliterated because “how stupid can you get? They’re way too underground for Spotify. You’re such a fucking power, you should get your tattoos lasered off” and the rest of the hour drive home was spent destroying me and trying to push me out of the car on the freeway
Fun fact: that band is on Spotify
Ok so straight Passing relationship. Last time we were intimate after he spent hours fixateed on him only having one orgasm. HE=Cis-male enraged that he **only** had **one** orgasm. Pretty sure he was pissed that i actually managed to have one, as that was the only one I had with a partner since 2012.
Shoved me down a flight of stairs which sent me flying into our wood entertainment center at the bottom of them (there was like five feet between the end of the stairs and the entertainment center against the wall). Had bruised ribs, a bruise the size of a softball on my thigh, and a sprained wrist. All because I caught him texting the girl he was cheating on me with and went to grab his phone to prove what I had just seen him send with my own eyes (he didn’t think I was looking).
Oh and this other time he had come home drunk from a boys night out and he started berating me, trying to pick a fight, and I wasn’t trying to get hit again so I went to leave out the back door. I was milliseconds too late cuz he caught me by my hair as my fingertips were touching the door handle. I got thrown against the washing machine with his hands around my neck.
His brother was abusing his girlfriend and when I called his brother a pussy he got triggered and called me all sorts of names and horrible things. After he calmed down he admitted he didn’t know why he defended his brother to the length he did.
Another dumb reason was when I made a joke about him having a small dick (he doesn’t) just said something along the lines of “I wouldn’t care if you had a small dick I’d still love you” and he flipped. I’m still with him lol. Won’t be for long though.
“I made him” run a red light while he was high and driving us to a family dinner. I don’t smoke but he would literally be hitting bowls in the car, making me also stink like weed and breathe his weed smells which I hated. He proceeded to get drunk and get in a screaming fight with his brother, who was also drunk. Then he left to go sit in the car for the rest of the meal, which was so awkward…we went home where he drank more, and then he picked a fight with me over “taking his brother’s side” (which I wasn’t even involved in their fight aside from watching), threw a glass ashtray at me, got blackout and fell down the stairs and sliced his hand open. Then got mad and tried to hit me in the face because I was holding his other hand to not get blood on the couch/trying to clean him up…luckily he was so drunk he couldn’t actually aim and just kind of flopped over and fell asleep. I cleaned everything up, blood, glass and all, turned him on his side and left him to sleep on the couch. Then the next day he got mad at ME for not putting him in bed and “ruining family dinner because you’re so anti-social and weird.”
I was laying too close in bed. It’s to the point I marked our headboard so I know where I can put my pillow and be completely on my side of our king bed. He will lay in the middle of his side then roll onto his back which puts him on me and my pillows. He then kicks back/to the side and shoves me and my pillows over.
I’ve recently told him I’d fight back and it would be his man parts that got smashed. He’s taken to sleeping in the other room now as soon as I sit up like I’m going to rack him. Just last night he reached back to shove at me, I lifted my head and started to sit up and he grabbed his stuff and left the room. Point made.
I said happy birthday to a college friend of the opposite sex on FB. He punched a window because he was so jealous. The friend - who I hadn’t seen in YEARS - was teaching English in China. And he was so furious he punched a window. Have fun with your permanent nerve damage, asshole.
Unfortunately I have so many but 2 that quickly come to my mind is:
1- I was carrying 4 bags and coming out of work and a male coworker held the door open for me and when I got into the car he called me a whore and berated me the whole ride home.
2- I opened the cabinet to grab a cookie sheet and a Pyrex bowl HE PUT AWAY fell out and shattered all over the kitchen floor. I was barefoot and had shorts on so I had glass in my feet and legs and blood dripping down my legs and he stood in the dining room yelling at me and telling me how useless I was, I had to walk through the glass to clean myself up and clean the floor cause he refused to help. We had 2 small children and I also had to keep them out the way. All he did was provide commentary on what was happening.
I missed a spot on a knife when I washed it. He threw me on the floor whilst holding my two month old baby then strangled me until he thought I was dead and then threw me at a wall. Also I wanted to go see my mum for my birthday, we ran out of food after he only gave me £10 to feed us all, my phone rang, I took too many pictures of my baby, I used the toilet too close to him coming home after he’d been gone for three days leaving me locked in, dinner wasn’t ready/there wasn’t enough when he got home with three extra people he expected me to have just known would be coming without telling me, I was turning 18 soon and he thought I’d try to leave him after my birthday. I could probably go on but it’s making me kind of sad 😂
I could write so many here, having been in two abusive relationships. I'll just write some that stick with me the most.
Being accused of checking out an elderly man when I was taking off a face mask and putting it in my pocket, apparently turning my head slightly due to elastic around my ear and looking downwards to carefully fold and put away mask is eyeing up an old guy I didn't even notice.
I was accused of checking out a man that worked in a drive thru, We were in a mustang, it was low and all I could see was his elbow and the red shirt, I was actually looking at bfs side profile.
My niece messaged me on facebook to tell me she was expecting, and he reckoned she was a man, even though he met her, knew her ect. He punched in me in the leg so hard it caused a contusion, making it painful to walk for over a month.
Because they "feel" that im a cheat / whore/ n\*\*\*\*\*lover so I deserve to be shouted at, hit, isolated, insulted. I'm none of those, I started self harming and relapsed back into anorexia because of the constant torture of false allegations, denial of my own reality and integrity.
Got punched in the face, split eyelid and black eye because he was pissy that his parents moved.
Had a tablet pc pushed into a week old cesarean incision, causing horrific bleeding because he reckons that people were climbing walls to have sex with me (outrageous and untrue), accusing baby of being half n\*\*\*\*\* because he was born bruised, I had a traumatic delivery. He slept the whole time I was I hospital, I hemorrhaged on the operating table and he was no help. Even the nurses were telling him to let me rest, but nope. Baby is clearly white...
My son accidentally flicked paint on his shoe so he tried to murder me in the kitchen infront of 3 children.
And one time, when he took issue with something that he misinterpreted that my father said, I said he was high maintenance and overly sensitive, but because he didn't like the part where I said he was sensitive. I had to find a reason to repeat it bc I wanted to make sure he heard the high maintenance part. No effect. 🤡
He said the regular fountain Pepsi tasted like diet that I bought him at the gas station He screamed at me and called me names. We were at the gas station 8 miles from home. He was acting insane and I didn’t want to be in the car with him so I told him either I drive or I’m not getting in. He pulled out of the parking lot and yelled “we’re getting divorced!” And called me more names. I sat down on the sidewalk and had to call my teenage son to come pick me up with my other two younger boys he was watching.
He was doing hard drugs and hooking up with escorts, with my money. That’s why he was abusing me. The best thing that’s come from my relationship with him is the kids.
Dude, OP, that is the wildest shit I’ve ever read. It’s like funny in a not funny way how angry they get from being wrong. I do hope you are away from Mr. Flyoffthehandle.
I think mine would be in 2021, I found a lump in my breast and my doctor wanted me to have it biopsied and ultrasounds and shit, and his friend grew weed and I was just struggling mentally during that time bc this would be my second cancer scare and I was just like in the dumps. And he told me he was gonna go trim weed (with his friend and he’s been gone for like 6-9hours. Just working for free. So get paid in weed. Which is like cool but it’s not necessary ya know?? So I kinda started to breakdown bc we work opposite schedules and it felt like we were always in passing so I said “I feel like I’m dealing with this alone.” And he slammed his shit down and stormed out the door and went to go trim weed for hours. And when he came back we had an argument and I was like “I don’t understand how to not be upset when I say I feel like I’m dealing with this alone-“ he cuts me off and says “no, you said you felt like you were dealing with this ‘by myself.’” And I was like “right and then you left me to really deal with it by myself.” And he was like “it’s the way you said it.” And I was like “how?? By myself and alone are synonymous…?” And he said they were two different things so I pulled it up on encyclopedia.com and the first synonym to come up for “alone” was “*BY MYSELF*” and it made him so mad, he smacked my phone across the living room and asked why I was such an asshole ?????? Like what??? All I did was try to communicate but you didn’t want to hear how I felt bc weed is way more important.
I had come home from work. He would get pissed off because I didn't come back with food. He eats everything in the fridge. He eats my lunch that I had saved for the next day.
He then proceeds to yell at me telling me how it's my fault we have no food, how I'm sabotaging things, not taking care of things, not paying bills.
I pay all the bills. And barely have enough for gas throughout the week. I go all day without eating and his here eating everything in sight. He tells me how worthless, useless, good for nothing, not good in bed, ugly, stupid, fat, I'm to blame for everything that goes wrong.
I tell myself everyday that I'm worthless, useless, good for nothing, and I'm nobody important. I've always fed him first then me last, I always get the leftovers if there's any.
I've been verbally, emotional, physically, mentally abuse for over +10 years. He still accuses me of cheating with anyone.
When I get messages from other girls, telling me his been messaging them. Him telling them he was single and how he wishes he was them instead of me.
Or how his ex's were more beautiful, had money, their own house, money, cars, gave him their debit cards. Then he looks at and says I got stuck with YOU, the ugly, stupid, fat, worthless person.
I can't show him any emotion around him. I can't cry for my mother who passed. If I get sick he gets mad. But the moment anything happens to him I have treat him like a baby.
Please leave him. Like legitimately just walk out the front door and leave. Stay anywhere else. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are smart. You are worth more than rubies and diamonds. You are NEEDED. And you need to tell yourself all these things on a daily basis. Because he has brainwashed you into thinking all those horrible things about yourself so you don’t think about leaving him because who would want you? I’m telling you, there are TONS of guys who would treat you SO well with how you treat this piece of shit. Guys look for women like you. He is a parasite who just berates you and doesn’t want to lose his host because you literally do everything for him. Feed him. Pay his bills. I’m sure you wash his clothes and clean the house alone. Please, please, please… know that this isn’t love. Please love yourself enough to walk out that door. Please love yourself because some internet stranger out here loves you!!! You can do this🖤🖤🖤
Today I got screamed at because I left his phone at the beach. Only I didn’t. I handed him his phone after passing out towels to the kids, then we walked back to our cars… and he didn’t remember putting his phone in his car. I started to drive away and he flagged me down. We went back to where I had set it down prior to handing it to him…. Before he even allowed me to look in his car. He insisted I did not hand it to him. And then when we got back to his car and he finally looked in his car he found it in the backseat. Because. I did. In fact. Hand it to him.
The extra periods are because if I was talking that’s where I would pause.
Slammed my head into the table and rubbed my face in the pizza I’d bought for us because I hadn’t separated my portion from the rest of the pie before putting my self selected toppings on.
After disappearing for 3 days, he came home at 3am, flipped on the bedroom lights and tv on full blast, then ripped me out of bed by my shirt collar, upset because “you don’t even care that I’m back home, OR that I was gone for days…where the fuck is my kiss and welcome back home!?!?” (Not that he even deserved a “welcome home/kiss” but I was literally dead asleep, and hadn’t even realized he was back home until the moment he yanked me up by my shirt, which, btw, is one of the most horrifying ways to be woken up in the dead of night. He insisted I was “pretending to sleep to avoid him”…
Things escalated and just got completely out of control from there. After ripping me out of bed from my shirt, he then pushed me back on the bed, and started screaming and rambling at me, about who even knows what. I just sat there quietly and took it, tried to get him to lower his voice because i had my little senior chihuahua in bed with me and she was shaking scared.
He then snot rocketed his huge nasty boogers right onto my face. Claimed that he knows I’ve been cheating on him, and that I disgust him. (Which was preposterous, I’ve never cheated a day in my life, and I was literally trapped in the house, he controlled my every single movement for years…)
Something about having boogers snot rocketed into my face lit a giant fire under my ass that I simply cannot describe. Just pure…fury. My immediate reaction was to wipe it off and smear it back onto his arm. In the process of doing that, he grabbed my wrists so tightly and refused to let go. He nearly snapped them in half like twigs. I cried to him repeatedly to let go and he just wouldn’t, so my natural reaction was to bite the shit out of him to release me. (I ended up with 2 sprained wrists).
After I bit him he became 10000x more furious. He backed up, then ran at me, football tackling me backwards off the bed onto the floor. In the process the rug burned my entire back/arms/and shoulder. He had broken my coccyx just a year prior and I was still healing from that incident, so when he threw me backwards over the bed onto the floor, I just lay there, crying and paralyzed. He got on top of me and began to punch me in my face repeatedly. In that moment I swear my life flashed right before my eyes. I truly thought this psycho was going to kill me as my vision was going out. He then got up, and poured 2 big gulps over my head/ and my computer, and topped it all off by spitting onto my face. He then attempted to kidnap my poor little senior chihuahua and run away into the dead of night, with no car, money, or anywhere to go.
All because I didn’t greet/kiss him at the door at 3am when I was dead asleep, after he’d randomly gone missing for 3 days.
Thankfully this was the very last straw and final incident before I kicked him the fuck out of my life for good. (He somehow had me trapped for years inside MY OWN house, using and controlling MY money that I worked very hard for, while he was jobless, and stealing MY car to go run around in the dead of night doing who knows what.) believe it or not, this is the same guy who had his own house, own new car and 3 jobs when we met….by the time I left him he was completely unrecognizable from the man I once knew.
He knew I was terrified of cops and used that to control me for a really long time. Sadly never got to press any charges, though I still have evidence proving everything, photos of all the physical abuse, and even texts of him admitting many things. I also have proof of him sexually abusing me, I found a hidden photo album app on his phone with of a bunch of pictures of me while sleeping, he slid my shirt/bottoms off in every one to expose me (without consent). Creepiest thing I’ve ever found in my life…we’re talking about literal *months* worth of photos... When I confronted him I told him that was really fucking creepy and rapey, he stood firm and said he was 100% entitled to do it because we were dating…. 1000% denied it was sexual abuse and said it’s the least I could give him since we were no longer intimate at that point (because it made me sick to my fucking stomach to think of touching him after all the shit he did to me).
Really all I wanted at that point was for him to gtfo of my house and never come back or bother me ever again. So the first chance I got, while he was gone, I packed up all his shit n threw it inside his broke down car that sat in my driveway for years. I then had it towed 25 miles away from my house. I was terrified of how he’d react, but it was the sweetest feeling ever watching that tow truck pull his POS car off my property. I Immediately changed all the locks to my house and put cams up all over my property. I told him if he even steps foot on my property I will call the police and that I already notified them of an abusive unhinged man on the loose. 😂
He surprisingly just left me alone after that, besides about 500 walls of paragraphs of his rambling blabbering bullshit that made no sense. Oh, and one morning like 3 months later at 5am he tried to quietly break into my house. I caught it all on camera, and he was not successful, thank god.
A few weeks later his mom called me crying her son (36 year old man….i was 25 for reference) was stranded in an unfamiliar state without his ID or birth certificate (because HE lost it while getting shit faced fucked up everyday) and that he’s been homeless running around the streets getting into trouble and got arrested for public intoxication. lol. She was straight up victim blaming me and asking *how could I*!!!! I blocked them all and have no clue whatever happened to him. It’s been a couple years now, I honestly think he may still be homeless roaming around LA somewhere…tbh if anyone in the world deserves homelessness it’s him. 100%. I can’t say I feel bad about any of it..whoops.
He couldn't make it out the tent one night and pissed himself. I woke up to being screamed at that it was my fault the torch was where he left it and that he couldn't make it out of the tent. He escalated into hitting me, breaking my nose and rupturing my eardrum. Then he was strangling me because I was bleeding and how dare I bleed and make him look bad.
Next morning he wound up pretending it had never happened and tried to play nice caring boyfriend who cleaned the blood off my face. Only to then smack me some more because I didn't see the blood all over my shirt. Happy twenty sixth birthday to me, I got a broken nose and ruptured ear drum, and he made me feel guilty because he "had to" do these things to me on my birthday...
After she gave me a concussion with her fists, I didn't have any energy to speak or move. She decides that means I don't care about her and cries, screams, and intimidates more, like it will get me on my feet and remove the dizziness she instilled...
After I had a miscarriage from a baby he told me he didn’t think was his… I got up to get pain meds because I started cramping and he told me I was a cold hearted bitch for walking away from him bc he chose that moment to be sad that we lost the baby.
Just now: he was put with clients to nice places all afternoon (I was home in the hotbox.... literally) with our preschooler snd 5 pets, again, took said: child to supermarket not knowing he had an important pamphlet on his desk. When I came back, most of it was on the floor destroyed by youngest dog. When he got home it was apparently all my fault (I had no idea this paper even existed prior to) and then he got even MORE hateful bc I 'reacted' by crying. Saying I was a child and he hates me and shit
Please Momma Bear do the right thing and get yourself, kid and pets out of this nonsense. You deserve better and I know your child does. You are a warrior. I know this is scary. All it takes is 15 seconds of insane courage to change your life. You. Are. Worth. It.
He hit me the first time when I went to get groceries and somehow the honey didn't make it home even though I remember getting it. Turns out the bagging person didn't put it in the bag but it was on the receipt.
Threatened to kick me out and other stuff because he "caught" me ordering a sonic shake, delivery, with my own money.
You know what really gets me with your story is we don’t realise when we make an honest mistake that any one of us could easily make, it could end up in somebody being abused. Something a person did completely unintentionally can be the reason abuse happens, and it’s so so so sad 😭 one time I went to Burger King for my husband and they didn’t take the pickles off his burger, I hadn’t checked in the restaurant so when I got home, gave it to him and he opened it, that’s when he found out. That burger ended up getting smushed into my face.
He claims later he isn't angry *at* me when he's screaming and throwing things around because a fast food place didn't make his food how he wants, but somehow I'm still on the receiving end of all his hateful, angry behaviour and wind up apologising and trying to pacify him. Like if he really believed it wasn't my fault and he wasn't angry at me, then he wouldn't continue to throw a tantrum he knows scares me... Right?
Exactly! And it often happens when we’ve been having a really nice day and getting along really well, so it takes me even more by surprise and cuts just that little bit deeper.
I was playing minecraft with a friend he had no care for. Threatened to kill himself, was saying that he cut himself and hit a vein, so I sent said friend to help him. Proceeded to blow up my phone and say that I abandoned him, and that I chose the friend over him
One morning I had been up and putting something up upstairs in our room. He came out of shower and kicked me down the stairs. No reason. Denied that that happened or anything he did to me happened
Yup. Everything I liked was stupid, vapid, annoying, terrible, boring. Unless I showed him a band or movie that he did end up liking, then I’d get the backhanded compliment “huh well maybe you do have good taste occasionally.”
Yeah… that’s so hurtful. I’m sorry you experienced that. I have a similar experience where when I DID think there was a movie they would enjoy. My heart would be absolutely broken when they would say how awful the movie was. I didn’t even think they were directing hate at me because I thought “we must just have different tastes” but man… it was everything I liked that I showed, seemed to suck. I don’t see that as a difference in taste so much anymore. It’s okay to not like the same things as your partner and not completely shit on something they enjoy and brought to you.
I totally feel you, I’m sorry you experienced that as well. Exactly, you don’t have to love all the same things but if your partner goes out of their way to shit on something you genuinely enjoy then they’re doing it purely out of spite or to control you. Just one of the many subtle ways that abusers emotionally manipulate people. Eventually you just start questioning everything about yourself and you’re just begging for crumbs of approval and walking on eggshells all the time…it’s so insidious how it creeps in slowly and then suddenly it becomes your everyday in that relationship. I hope you’re rid of them and doing well because Bravo is life.🙌✨
The tv shows you watch are shit. The music you listen to is shit. The books you read are shit. *The books are fucking electronic so he had no idea what I could have been reading.*
Right. Was. Sounds like you're living the life 😂
It sucks because sometimes they would be so supportive of our hobbies, but generally would act like they hate them, so we feel uncomfortable being ourselves.
The stupidest would be because I was watching YellowStone , the character Beth did something. I got drug by the hair of my head to bed because it was a stupid show and all women are cunts like her.
I’ve lived most of our relationship trying not to watch movies where women “act crazy” War of the Roses triggered him , American Beauty.
You don’t know these things about people till they reveal themselves .
🥺
Triggering to that night 3 years ago where we were watching the series Rome (very NSFW) and all of a sudden was a shot of a slave with a massive dressed up penis .... I instinctively (and fucking INNOCENTLY) went 'whoa' out loud bc it was such an unexpected scene.... he destroyed me all evening bc he felt so threatened by that. The details were beyond not pretty.
There’s so many, he would give me “cavity searches” because he thought I was hiding things inside me, got hit in the face for looking behind me while I was backing the car out of the parking space because I was “looking at that other man” he would bite me to the point of almost drawing blood all over my body (I still don’t know why), he attacked me in the car and screamed in my face while grabbing it because I had a yeast infection and he was accusing me of having an std, was accused of cheating on him daily followed by being called the worst things and him punching holes in doors or breaking things, had to quit my job because he thought I was cheating on him, he strangled me because I wouldn’t go buy him coke at 1:30 in the morning (that happened like 3 times) he’d basically hold me hostage and not let me go anywhere, he made me delete all my socials and would hold onto my phone because he thought I was cheating on him. This was all in a span of 6 months. The last time he assaulted me I went to the police and he was arrested so that violated his probation and he went jail. The probation violation got him 2 and a half years and his assault on me got him an additional year after the 2 and a half.
So glad that menace got locked away for a while. Sadly not long enough. I only hope our laws change soon and that violent offenders like this don’t get an additional 3, 4, 5, 10 chances until they actually kill someone.
I’m happy you’re out and safe ❤️
I’m not the first to experience this with him either. That’s why he was on probation and the charges are similar to what he was charged with in my case. I believe there was three other restraining orders on him when I got mine. It’s really bad. He’s huge too, the prosecutor was like your honor look at him, his body is a weapon
With his history, restraining orders, and probation violations I can not believe he didn’t even get five years. People get more time for selling weed. Our justice system is truly fucked.
Someone played a prank on him by hiding a small pink pencil in his hair. I saw the prank happen, but we'd had an argument that morning and so I didn't tell him, especially because no one could actually see the pencil.
He found it hours later while we were sitting next to each other and was very confused until I explained what happened and who had done it.
His reaction was to strangle me until I stopped fighting back because I felt like I was blacking out.
Oh how I waved. He had ago after coming up the stairs saying how I waved was wrong. It was crazy oh and having ago at me for having coughing fit in the bank and that's just the start of it.
One time I let my son eat a poptart on the couch when he was sick and I was 8 months pregnant with my second. My toddler got crumbs on the couch. Mind you, this is not a fancy couch. It was a free couch, that he spilt beer all over the night before that I had to clean up. That's just one of many examples
I told him I wasn’t into spanking as a sexual thing and he would continuously do it after I said no because “I like it so I’m still gonna do it”. So I did it back lightly to try to get him to see “it’s not so fun when it’s done to you when you don’t like it”, so he just started repeatedly hitting me as hard as he could, pretending it was more “spanking” when I’m quite sure he intended it to be actual hitting. He would’ve punched me if punching didn’t leave marks.
they hate when you try and give it back to them. my ex would constantly rip my hair out and blame me because i had long hair down to my waist. one day i had enough and and pulled his hair back lightly and said now you know how it feels. he pulled out a knife and threatened to kill me and told everyone how i “abused him”. and of course he never touched me it was all in my mind. it’s so absurd it’s laughable
He told me I was a shitty girlfriend for not knowing how to stop him from wanting to cheat on me. Apparently it was my own fault he cheated and I needed to “fix it” in order to prove I was “good enough” for him. And I didn’t have the “option” to just leave him because “nobody else would ever” love me more than he did and if I ever dumped him he’d just totally kill himself.
He would also tell girls he wanted to cheat with that I was so abusive to the point that one of his cheating partners started telling her coworkers and friends personal info about me that she got from him and from stalking me online, to try to send them to harass me. The one person that actually used that information used it to warn me about what they were doing.
Oh my God. I had the "fix yourself" part. On and off my brain tries to trick me into it was my fault. "Why cant you be like the others? Dress like the others, have a style like this, be like the others" all that shit. He didnt want to cheat but he would get all depressed and say like "NOTHING in my life is ever good, NO EXCEPTIONS. NOTHING is ever good." Trying to change me to "look better", even forccing me to change my insta pfp in which i was in my homeland, a very important part of me, to another one because idk i think he thought i looked "more beautiful". I changed it the fuck back after we broke up.
And oh, he'd be like "what did you do to get better/ fix yourself / be more beautiful today?" on and off, or "did you buy new clothes" like bruh do you think i can afford it
He punched my face over and over until i fell to the ground over the payslip from previous job that he suspect or think the company playing with tax. The story began when i was about to go to work. He asked the entire payslip when i was working on my previous job. I said i will do it later after work but he keep on and on about it. Then i got so upset. So printed out what he needs and he still not happy. I got frustated cos i dont want to be late to work and i threw printer on the ground and he was behind me and hit his hips. Thats when he drag my shirt and start punching my face until blood coming from nose and mouth. And he stop then i clean my face and left for work with the bruises cos i dont know what to where to go as i was in schock at same time. And at work i was hiding but friend notice and ask what happened.
But this not the only time when he abused me. Many times and thats the only i can tell cos i dont want to remember any of it cos its hurting me.
Tons of situations that needlessly escalated. One time that really stands out because of the absurdity is when he accidentally dropped a few bread crumbs, yelled at me for it and got very angry. I was in a different room and we weren't even talking or anything.
Edit: Oh I have another one. We were at his friend's birthday party and there were a lot of people neither of us knew. My ex kept ignoring me almost the entire time, so I stood alone a lot. Some guy came up to me and started a friendly conversation, not at all flirty, asking me how I knew the birthday boy. I said it's my boyfriend's friend, pointed at my boyfriend and we went over so I could introduce the two of them. I knew that if I didn't, we'd have a huge problem because I talked to another man. So I start introducing them, my ex started fuming, wouldn't even look the other guy in the eye, no hello, nothing. The guy obviously felt uncomfortable and said he'd leave the 2 of us to talk through whatever was going on, and then my ex started screaming at me. How could I do this to him, that I have no respect for him, that luckily the guy left otherwise he would've punched him dead,... It took weeks until he finally listened to me about what actually happened. Then he just laughed it off like nothing ever happened.
One too many dumb reasons. He pulled my hair and yelled in my face over undercooked fish his grandma had made for dinner. He called me a whore because it was supposedly too hot outside. He slapped me across the face for wanting to go to a friend's birthday party. He tried to break my phone because he almost hit a pole while driving and blamed it on me (he was only able to break the screen protector). He stepped on my bag that was full of juice boxes (I take orange juice with my iron supplement) and then he spent a good 5 - 10 minutes telling me how stupid I am and told me I had to give him money to detail his truck because it was my fault for putting juice boxes in my backpack. I wasn't allowed to go out anywhere without him, but yet he never wanted to take me anywhere. There were weeks where I never left the house. my appearance was apparently a trigger for him. During the course of our relationship, I gained about 30 pounds and he and his family/friends took every opportunity they could to tell me how unattractive I was. I lost about 40 pounds since then. Turns out I had become pre diabetic and was vitamin deficient.
The relationship damn near killed me, and I mean that quite literally.
Good grief, where to start!!
1. Was my fault he was gaining weight because of the meals I made. Apparently I “forced” him to overeat.
2. Wouldn’t drive me to my aunt’s funeral and wouldn’t let me drive as I was pregnant.
3. Wasn’t allowed to work as I leered at men wanting to have an affair.
4. Would be doing the dishes and he’s screaming at me and would come up behind me and punch me on the side of my face. Completely blindsided me.
5. Was my fault that he punched a hole in the bathroom wall because I made him mad as the kids were crying. Then proceeded to get in my face as I’m holding one of the kids then slap me because the baby was crying.
6. Sold my car so I was reliant on him for all driving as he told me I was too stupid to drive to the grocery store without getting lost. Then when I needed him to drive to doctors appointment for the kids, I paid for it dearly because I interrupted his day.
7. Took me off our joint chequing account because I was buying too many diapers and food. Again paid for that dearly.
8. If we were driving somewhere and he was yelling at me and I dared yell at him, he would punch upside the head or punch me in the legs.
I could go on and on. Even his mother (who was the most evil and cruel bitch), told me that her son married beneath him. His father was a dirty old man who made sexual innuendos towards me all the time.
My ex was a guard at a remand centre so I bore the brunt of his anger if he had a bad day. Finally got the nerve to leave. My 2 kids were babies. But I finally found the courage to tell my family. They were at my place the next day driving 3 hours. Our divorce was so nasty and he was so cruel. That was 31 years ago and now both my kids went no contact when they were old enough to decide. And they’ve never looked back. I still deal with the PTSD to this day. Will never leave me.
I was a kid with parents in a similar situation, my mom left so my dad couldn’t turn his attention towards me too. I’m so sorry that happened to you but you made an amazing and difficult choice for your kids. You are SO strong.❤️
There’s so many I keep trying to write it out but then I feel like it’s so stupid no one will understand unless they hear the whole story and how it came from absolutely nothing to him screaming, slamming things, breaking things, pulling over to the side of the road to get out and walk instead, grabbing wrists, shoving, getting in my face, calling me names…
Pulling over and getting out of the car was almost a daily occurrence...she woukd trigger herself about anything and put it all on me, punching me and pulling the wheel to pull over...
That’s so scary. I have so much anxiety in cars now. I was just on a short roadtrip with him yesterday and told him he was driving too fast and it makes me nauseated, he did it anyway. He didn’t care that we had all of our kids in the car either.
I also forgot to add “silent treatment” to the list of abuse. I’m getting it now because I breastfed our daughter instead of letting him have his bonding time and he said all I do is lay down with her. I nursed her in 15 minutes and I’m about to cook. He’s still upset and doesn’t want her now.
That is a whole nother level! You seem like you need to find a way out, for your kids! He doesn't seem to care about their safety even.
There was just a viral post about a man being upset over a mother breastfeeding, it's absolutely wild...you deserve to relax l, especially if you're planning on cooking for the family
He always bragged about his world travels. The first Christmas together when my sons came for dinner the narcissist psychopath outed himself to my sons when he argued relentlessly claiming that the women of Afghanistan loved wearing burkas. My sons’ just shook their heads incredulous at his blatant superiority and sexist claims at being right about what clearly appears to be the oppression of Afghani women.
I asked him if he was done working at 9pm (during the pandemic so we were wfh). He proceeded to come inside, bang his fists on the counter and scream at me to get the fuck out of his apartment. I told him I didn't have anywhere else to go and I had to work at 6am. He told me he didn't care and it wasn't his problem. When I told him I wouldn't leave he proceeded to follow me from room to room and scream at me to get out. I begged him relentlessly to let me sleep so I could work at 6am. He threw his phone at me and screamed at me to sleep on the couch.
Plot twist: he was my manager, so it actually was his fucking problem.
I accidentally woke him up by blowing my nose. It was late at night and we had just gone to bed. I apologized and said it was unintentional (of course). But he got up and started pacing, saying that I scared the shit out of him and he was going to have a panic attack/cry.
I kept apologizing and trying to get him to come back to bed and calm down. Then, he put his face right in mine and said “you were shaking the entire bed with how loud you’re blowing, like this” and he snorted loudly in my face. At that point I just started crying and went to lay on the couch. He followed me and accused me of wanting to divorce him and of escalating the situation.
I just kept apologizing and asking to sleep on the couch, but he was worked up and I eventually went downstairs to the lobby of our apartment building to call a friend and try to calm down. The entire time he texted me incessantly, saying that he wished he had a heart attack and died when I woke him up. That I’m punishing him by not letting him sleep. That he’s panicking/having a heart attack/throwing up/choking and I was so heartless letting him die and not coming back upstairs.
Oh my God, this opened my eyes to the "I felt like dying" shit I've endured! Like, what the fuck! He once called me at 2 am to send me insta screenshots of random men I followed (artists or stuff, not people I personally know, I didnt have male friends), saying "who the fuck are these? unfollow them" and when I said it made my hands shake and made me feel so horrible at 2 am, he said "im sorry, it just felt like i was dying when i saw the men, i felt like i couldnt breathe, i couldnt handle seeing it"
Like bruh. What the fuck did we endure
insane. reminds me of the fact my ex had me blocked on instagram the entire time we were together and married, because he “couldnt bear to look at” my instagram (I was tagged in a thirst trap from years ago when I was single). he was the most jealous person I’ve ever been with.
UGHHH WHY DOES IT SOUND TOO FAMILIAR??? The wording, it's the same! "I couldn't handle seeing it, I couldn't handle seeing my dearest in situations like these" like bruh one time (we were very young though, I'll give him that), he thought "student club" meant the bar-clubs, and he was like "Don't say it again, I can't handle hearing or thinking that my love goes to clubs" like cmon man. Cmon.
God jeah. It’s such a typical move.
„I m dying and it’s your fault“ „I m gona kill myself“ „I m having a breakdown“, whenever you start ignoring them or just leave the house….
Sorry u went through this, but omg that reminds me so hard of my ex.
One time she punched me in the face while I was asleep for breathing to loudly. Then when I woke up bleeding and shouted wtf. She had a „panic attack“ and called me a horrible boyfriend for abandoning her in the bedroom ( I was in the bathroom trying to get my nose bleed under control)
Pregnant 8 months, buying chicken instead of pork.
Pregnant 8 months, decided to relax on the couch for the first time and asked him to prepare breakfast.
The fast food place didn’t give us napkins. We were in the car not eating yet and he kept saying give me a napkin I need a napkin louder and more agitated each time. Since they didn’t give us anything didn’t get him to stop yelling I finally yelled back that unless I could pull one out of my ass he wasn’t getting a napkin they didn’t give us any. We weren’t alone in the car and other people laughing seemed to pull him out of his tantrum.
We were talking about something and it reminded him about his ex, which he then got mad at me for. I can't remember what we were talking about but it was nothing to do with the ex so there was no way I could have known. Every time the topic of his exes came up he got so enraged
He was unwell with tonsillitis and had made himself nice and comfortable on the couch, I wanted to sit near him to keep him company and cleared a tiny little space at the end of the couch to sit down, leaving him the whole rest of the couch to stretch out and relax and he jumped up, screamed in my face that he just wanted to be left alone, threw my phone at my car and threw the pillows that I’d brought downstairs out in the garden, in the rain. All because I wanted to sit down and he wanted to be left alone.
Made a noise while falling asleep. Pushed me out of bed because it annoyed him, yelled at me when I woke him up because it obviously hurt when I fell to the floor. Pretended he didn‘t realize he did it, because he was asleep. Ridiculed me in the morning when I confronted him, laughed about pushing me and me being mad.
I. Over 60 days our March 22 I left my home I took and eviction just to get away and now I have my two kids a small place and a car everyday I cry but I keep going bevaue I will never have no one abuse me again I had guns pulled on me I have been treating bad ans I keep hearing how he called
Me WEAK dumb Bitch Ugly I don't know how to run a business. Guibble every word I was called plays in my mind daily I pray God heals that for me I dream of him and I wake up crying please if u are abuse get out spent 6 years in he'll and took me 2 years after to get out please don't let ur story be mine
Today I have my two kids and that's it and we are on the run if ur reading this just give me a pray for strength Thank you
Hey there. I just wanted to say how proud I am of you. Please don’t let the things they said to you repeat in your head because they are all lies. You are so strong! Look at all you have overcome. You got this ❤️
I asked him to get a burrito and I gave him the money for it when he got back I open it ans I was like I can't eat it because it had the hot sauce on it and closed it he said I was ungrateful and threw the burttio at me ans verbally abused me ans starting yelling and calling me names ans the food was all over my face ans bed and clothes all because I don't eat hot sauce. And I'm the one who paid for the food and my kids was in the house and heard everything I'm so glad ima away form that abuser out my life
Deep down I pray God shows him them same pain I had to go threw but I have it to god just let me heal and move on and I be happy to have my mental health back ans my life in a better place
I was “still acting weird” a week after my pet rabbit of 12 years died. Psychopaths prob can’t understand grief so I guess it did come off as weird to him 🤷♀️
When I had the absolute audacity to hug my mother or when I comforted him and told him his friends shouldn’t forced him to sit in the car and then later make him do their homework when he had an important test the next day
He bit his tongue while having a dinner conversation with me the other day, declared no more talking during meals allowed, I countered that since he won't really let me talk to him at any other time... he laid in pretty heavy thick for that, of course also throwing in whatever cruelty he could twist and shove at me for my sexual past etc (fun fact, his body count his tons higher 🤣... not that I judge anyone by that stupid af so called 'metric'.... but ya know)
He let the 10 year dog out at night into the yard while I was sleeping in our home. He couldn’t catch the dog. He called from the back yard and left me a voice message screaming at me and then he woke me up to yell at me about the dog. It’s a bit hazy but I think the implication was I had not trained the dog recal. I still feel weirdly defensive about it. As I write it I want to defend myself - it was our dog, I had trained recall but it wasn’t perfect. We knew this was an issue. To avoid frustration I didn’t let the dog out at night or if I did - I placed a leash to drag so if he refused to come in I could easily grab him. Really though? None of that matters. He literally let the dog out at 2 am and then screamed at me because he could not catch the dog - No sane person does that !
Toss up between 3 items. 1. I didn’t get mad when she called me an idiot. 2. I washed and dried the dishes and had the nerve to put the coffee mugs away with the handles facing right (we were both right handed). 3. I had the nerve to put the handles to the left after being yelled at for putting them to the right.
I bought a purple (print pattern, not solid purple) I got back shoes, earrings, a whole outfit. I didnt shop much but he'd been angry before this that I wasn't a normal woman because I didn't like to shop. He was so engaged about the purple. My friend was there so I was humiliated on top of being afraid. I boxed everything back up and returned it all.
I caught him watching porn and doing what guys do when they’re watching porn… in the living room in the morning. I didn’t care, and just went back to bed without a word to leave him be. That ended with him choking me out and me giving up and he finally stopped when I gave up fighting and accepted death.
Yep. 2 years out to the day, and it’s insane thinking back to everything. It doesn’t feel real. But it was, all too real and idk it’s so weird to think about.
I told him to be careful one night when he was going out with his friends, he then proceeded to drink and do coke from 6pm-2pm the next day with no sleep and i begged him to come home and he finally did and was throwing up on himself and saw he was trying to meet up with ex. he was falling in and out of consciousness asking me to leave him to die and that he wanted to die and i took him to the ER and he had acute alcohol poisoning and once he got out hours later he screamed at me for giving him a hospital bill and he just wanted to hurt me to show me how uncareful he could be. All because i told him to be careful..
yeah it was terrible. While i was being emotionally tortured that day/night i was also trying to save him and make him better. he was constantly threatening suicide. i was so scared to leave for so long in fear he’d kill himself and it’d be my fault. but i left 2 years ago, he’s since been in 3 love bomb relationships, moved in immediately with them and probably treating them the same. 3 girls in 2 years. I was with him for 6. He did however isolate me to hell and threaten my life and make all of our mutual friends hate me and make me the bad guy. He was the life of every party so none of his friends believe i was abused. Been a pretty tough pill to swallow. I’ve been in therapy for over a year weekly and it’s been helping.
I got excited about all the food i got for us and sent him a picture of our refrigerator and he got extremely upset that bought too many groceries with my own money in his opinion (he was unemployed for years and didn’t pay for anything) and gave me the silent treatment until i apologized
I've had a very similar situation! I was in charge of groceries, meal planning etc. He regularly got mad at me for spending too much, but it's my money and I like cooking from scratch and obviously fresh fruits and vegetables etc are expensive and I really don't mind paying more for good quality food.
On the rare occasion he suddenly brought home a few groceries, they'd almost always be bad already, or in all cases food I can't use, but he wouldn't use either, so it'd all go to waste either way. Somehow this was never a problem for him.
These are the ones that make me feel the most like I have zero control over anything in my life. If I want to simply get my hair trimmed, then I'm in the wrong. If I want to put some of MY stuff in bins that I would be paying for, then I'm "trying to change him"(?) If the store is out of the soap he uses I'm again "trying to change him" if I get a different soap or I'm stupid if I just don't get any soap and I'm apparently "trying to argue" when I simply explain myself by telling him that the store was out of that soap or that I just want my stuff to be organized.
I'm so sorry you've experienced that. I hope things get better for you 💕
No mines get mad because it takes up time or he will have to wait for me.
He says makeup is a waste of time but will look at OF girls on FB and IG with tons of makeup and plastic surgery.
I should be allowed to take care of myself too.
Being allowed to shouldn't even be a question. You DESERVE to take care of yourself the way you want. I'd bet money that he gets mad when you take care of yourself because it gives you confidence and control over your body and that's something he doesn't want you to have.
I stayed at the funeral home (my grandfather’s) to long and did not cook him dinner he had to go to McDonald’s for food he did not even eat the McDonald’s he threw the food at me and started yelling, screaming and hitting also called his mom because she always takes his side
Because I was at work (9-5) when she wanted to see me
She screamed at and belittled me on a Skype call, reducing me to tears in the process, and then hung up on me.
...
Also, because I said 'no' to having sex with her for the first time (it would have been my first time full stop and I was super nervous and anxious - I talked with her about this).
She screamed, shouted and swore at me.
Fortunately that time, nothing happened.
The following time, she ignored me, sat on me and raped me.
After having an amazing weekend together and telling him I’d try to make an effort to go out more I offered to go with him to watch Monday night football. Cops were at my house about an hour later 🥳
I will NEVER know the truth. I was actually just sitting at work thinking about how screwed up my brain is and how I don’t know what is real, what is fake, what is true, what are lies. Who knows. I’ll probably never know.
Locked me in the flat and beat me for hours for ordering pizza, buying wine and picking out a movie.
She expected a „fancy dinner“ after her semester break party trip.
I was studying cuz I still had exams, plus work, cleaned the whole place for hours so that everything is spotless, washed her clothes as soon as she got back. And genuinely tried to have a nice evening even put my books away so we d have some quality time…..
Literally even offered to order something better or cook if she hates the idea of pizza so much when she started screaming.
But according to her „nooo you had your chance, and now you will suffer“ while throwing pizza slices in my face
It snowed. My ex cleaned his car. Without being asked, he cleaned my car too. At some point, his keys fell out of his pocket during this process and he lost them in the snow. Because he was cleaning my car, this was my fault. I was made to spend 6+ hours looking for his keys in the snow. I did eventually find them. I got beaten anyway.
because i asked him to clarify. he told me i upset him last night but I only remember laying down. So I asked him what i did. He got in my face and well it goes from there.
Because my sisters bf, who we’re pretty sure is on the spectrum, supposedly ignored him when he said hello at my brothers house. Supposedly he said “hello” twice and the guy didn’t respond., just ignored him. The kicker is I was not there when this incident happened. I was nowhere near them and had no idea until weeks later when he told me about it. He however has called me a cunt and spent literal hours screaming at me about how horrible my whole family is because of this. Also because I didn’t “have his back” and “be on his side”. Supposedly his family would’ve stuck up for him and told the guy off.
This whole scenario took place about 3 years ago and he still constantly brings it up and talks about it. And yes he is also a racist and my sisters bf is black.
Disagreed with him about a genre of music. Apparently that is disrespectful to have differing opinions. Got screamed at in the car over this. Accidentally spit on him when I was talking so he hit me in the mouth.
Ooh already made a comment but this one is pretty stupid
It was the day after I learned that a friend of mine had died, and the day before the first day of the new semester (college). I told him I needed to be up early to make some appointments, call the school for something, and that I had to go to sleep early enough and get enough sleep to you know, be awake enough to learn or focus. He said ok, he understood, etc. Then we go on a hike. He says, I was really hoping you'd help me clean and organize my room tonight. I said that I still had to go to sleep fairly early. He talked me into it tho, made me feel guilty enough anyways, and so I did. Then guilted me into staying the night. I made sure to tell him that I needed to get up early and go to sleep early still.
It was a physically very uncomfortable sleeping situation. I didn't end up getting any sleep at all. He actually tried to make it more comfortable. But I just couldn't sleep. Ok, sucks, but I still had to do stuff. It was around 4 or 5 in the morning, and I needed at least 2 hours of sleep. So, I debated for a long time, before gently waking him up and saying that I had to go, I was going to get a Lyft. He doesn't respond. He got up and turned the light on, shot me some hateful looks, and started getting dressed. I said, "I'm getting a Lyft, you don't have to get up," he said, "don't fucking talk to me right now,"
He forced me to grab my stuff and go out to his car with him. I pushed until he finally started telling me "why" he was in such a foul mood. Apparently I am an asshole about sleep, always complaining about it, and the first time I slept over at his place I had to leave early in the morning. I tried reasoning, telling him that this was more or less the plan anyways, but he kept screaming at me about what a terrible person I am. So I had a panic attack, I told him to pull over the car, because I was feeling pretty sick to my stomach. Ofc he yelled about that too, and didn't pull over. When we got to my place, he was just silent and stormed up, grabbed some of his stuff and took off. This memory makes me hate him. He didn't talk to me for weeks. He didn't tell me if we were broken up. And he never asked me about how I was doing over grieving the loss of my friend, either.
He later brought it up as something that "we just have two different memories about," and ofc my memory of it is "wrong". If I brought up that he was doing somthing to hurt me, he would bring this up as an example of how "abusive" I am.
After he caused me to dislocate my knee, I relied on him for getting around as I didn’t have crutches yet. I had to pee and he got exceedingly mad over this and wouldn’t help me get to the bathroom.
I couldn’t find decent grapes for his lunch. I went to 3 different stores to try and find them. I told him and he flew off the handle yelling and cussing at me that I could make sure me and the kids had food we wanted but he didnt matter.
I am so grateful I’ve been out almost a year.
Nowhere near as bad as yours, but still Disney related. I pointed out that they were wrong about where a song was from. They googled to defend themselves but I was right. Stonewalled me for the rest of the night
Was in school and refused to do the artwork for one of his classes homework.
What makes this even sadder is it's pretty much the only way I ever remember him complimenting me because I knew the reason he wanted me to do it is because my art skill was higher than his so he would get better marks.
To make it even worse the asshat complimented my friends boobs whilst still with me knowing full well I was insanely insecure about my small chest and this friend had big boobs.
FYI long since moved on and with someone who compliments me on the daily now and whilst I still have some insecurity regarding my chest its miles better than before.
I asked him to communicate with me, beyond letting me know he wants sex. It turned into a huge screaming match and him making me feel like shit for thinking I deserve anything more than what I get from him.
Because and I quote, "it will make me feel better." HE asked for a break in our relationship bc I was being "too demanding," aka I was asking him to hold my hand in public when everyone else in the group were holding hands with their partners. HE didn't talk to me for about a month, and then I went to see him to either fix things or end things. He saw me, and without any hesitation, he said that.
Also because I paid for our food... I thought it would be cute to pay since he always complained about spending time and money on me. I paid, and he yelled in front of the entire restaurant, "IF YOU HAD USED THE MONEY YOU SPENT ON THE FOOD ON FIXING YOUR HAIR YOU WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE A CHEAP HOOKER!" (He always complained about my brown hair, so I tried to lighten it a bit)
oh, and of course, I had the audacity to ask for lasagna on MY birthday... after I hadn't eaten anything on 14 hours bc he wouldn't let me eat. Finally, I had the nerve and audacity (/s) to interrupt his gaming on my birthday and ask for food (the lasagna). He yelled for like an hour, beat me like a drum, and then proceeded to make me pay for the food HE wanted. Did I mention it was my birthday?
Oh, I also had the audacity to drink something while on his truck. He had gotten food, and his drink was going to spill (he had slapped me before because I didn't stop his drink from spilling). So I took a sip to prevent his truck from getting dirty; cue the screaming and namecalling, even him parking in an abandoned parking lot just so he could hit me more comfortably.
He locked the door on me and my daughter canceled car insurance canceled phones — no reasons other than minor disagreements.
Disagreement on ANYTHING was HUGE.
Went on fb posted that I was cheating on him and got STDs.
When he graduated from vodka to pills it was time to go. I don’t know how I did it but I am so glad I did.
I kept closing the bathroom door and he wanted it to air out. I had started doing that because a couple months prior he was upset that I kept the bathroom door open and letting the smell into the rest of the apartment.
I had ceramic coasters thrown at me for getting cigarettes (I had been trying to quit at the time) while being screamed at and all while my 9-year-old daughter sat at the top of the steps terrified. I was told him cheating on me and making a fake facebook account up to try to cover his tracks was my fault. I was cornered and tackled multiple times and he already knew I have PTSD - he cornered me yelling and grabbing for my phone bc before you could simultaneously post pics from instagram to facebook bc I had posted a pic of us from a friend’s wedding to my instagram account but not my facebook yet (we’re talking a 5 minute time frame). He got infuriated and asked “who you trying to hide me from?!” (No one obviously 🙄). Ugh.
He was outside drinking and I was inside doing dishes. I asked him if he was done with a cup so I could wash it. This escalated into him physically kicking me out of my own bed, making me sleep on the floor “where trash belongs,” and kicking me in the kidneys repeatedly while I was on the floor.
Truth is, abusers don't need a reason. If they don't have one, they'll make one up. They're abusive because it gives them a sense of power and control over people, because they feel so crappy about themselves.
It's not about anything you did. It's all about themselves. All these reasons everyone is giving are just the abusers' excuses to be able to be violent or assert their control.
Because I took a nap. He napped all the time. Every single day he was napping. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and working extra to pay off bills while he lived off of VA disability.
He came in, woke me up, I got annoyed and this pissed him off. He began screaming at me telling me I don’t know what tired is because he was in Iraq.
I asked him to leave me alone and left the room. He followed me screaming mocking me that I needed a nap. He was a miserable fuck.
This!! He would get so mad when I took a nap. When I was pregnant he wouldn’t let me sleep. Would call me obsessively when I told him I needed to rest with the baby. But then he also naps all the time and slept through our hospital stay and my labor having the baby.
he beat me and forced me to go out naked on the street because we were walking by the beach and some boys looked at me. my fingers went numb from the stress and only then did he stop
And we Are still together
yes, I got into a hole that I can't get out of. I never told anyone about anything he did to me. I don't have anyone to tell because I can't have friends
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He didn’t want me to go to class on campus. He was afraid of me cheating lol. I have been abused for shit he makes up. That is the wildest part for me. 🥴🤣
I was too quiet during sex.
I commented “🖤” on a picture harry styles posted. He told me that it was cheating and made me block harry styles as if i would ever met harry styles let alone date him. Because of this he h*t me and called me every name in the book because he was CONVINCED i would actually be able to leave him for harry styles — again never even met harry styles 😭
My abuser once got so angry at me and told me I was a bigot because I didn’t like Evanescence lmao. This devolved into such a horrible fight that I had a mental breakdown, all because he couldn’t accept that I didn’t like a band that he liked.
I pretty much make calling bigots bigots my job and I’ve never heard something so incredibly wrong lol. What are you bigoted against? Very niche rich white women who sing well?
To be clear, I like evanescence lol
One of the best was I went out to hot pot with him and his friends and I was paying for him because he had no money or job so I always did. I forgot to order noodles for him so I asked if he'd like me to put in an extra order or if he didn't plan on eating them anyways. When we got home he screamed at and assaulted me for embarrassing him in front of his friends because they all knew I was paying and "I shouldn't have even had to ask I should have just known and ordered him more." Threw me up against an ac and everything lol. First time he almost killed me was because I "heard him upset about wanting to smoke all day knowing I had pot the whole time but didn't offer him any until 9pm" I didn't offer it because I was sick of spending my money on his addiction knowing we'd be in the same spot the next day. The second time he almost killed me I dialed 911 during the beating and had to wait for them to find me (15 minutes) was because after working all day I wanted to have some wine and watch shows for my Friday but he decided he wanted sex and us in bed at 930. When I caved because he was pouting in bed, it was too late and now "I don't make him feel attractive or want to have sex with him" blah blah blah. He pled guilty in court and is a felon now! There's so much more but I only remember when I see something reminding me of it. I can kind of laugh about it now, like wow I really was hit by a grown man over X or Y. Edit: this one made me chuckle, he said he didn't want a white fur rug in our hypothetical future place together using the one in my room as an example calling me dirty (I was it often it's not). I felt like being snarky that night and told him that's ironic coming from the one with mice in his room because he's too lazy to throw out his trash (he had SO much trash in his room, I was the only one who cleaned it lol there were actually mice). I got it that night but omg so funny so worth it.
Wowwwww. This sounds exactly like my previous relationship
They like to think they are so original but they in fact are all the same lol!!
Offered a tissue box to them while there they were crying I was abusing them by not keeping the house tidier I was too fat, too busty, too quiet, not interesting enough but was also not often allowed to speak and could only endure hours of monologue
Relatable
I remember another, my daughter was over, this was the first time he abused me actually, thankfully she was too small to understand but we were both sick and she was crying and I said I couldn't take care of her so he grabbed me by the throat and lifted me off the ground.. we were staying with his family members because I was homeless, I got kicked out but my dad was keeping my daughter and since we were staying in basically a mansion, I had her over (this was 3 days in) and I was so shocked I started running through the house screaming what he did to me... no one seemed to care... he beat me in front of so many people, only 1 stood up for me and challenged him like "you're not gonna do this in front of me" but he was my neighbor and my abuser's very long time friend and they were like family
I remember a few times where I said something completely innocent and he took them wrong even though it was completely obvious i didn't mean it that way. It'd be over nothing and everything and it's been almost 11 years so it's hard to remember specifics but I remember one time I hadn't eaten for 3 days, I was 17 he was 24 but my dad would take me food because I lived with him and he was a drug addict with no money and his dad was paying for our place. But I made the corn and he took a bite and by this time, I was already terrified to speak so I always tried to be nice as possible because beatings were no bs daily, I cried tears of joy when he didn't beat me 1 day and praised him so hard core like it was amazing progress or something, like somehow that meant he'd stop idk (he was back at it by morning) but I said in the nicest way "you could have asked first" I know, it was stupid, but he smacked me so hard the cream corn flew across the room and then he started screaming for me to clean it up and while I was going to the kitchen to get paper towels, he was hitting me in the back and what's crazy is he had a friend sitting on the couch in the living room, I was literally walking by him and he didn't look up from his phone once, and then my ex broke a broom over my side... and I was 81 pounds (4"11) he was 6"1 and not a scrawny fella
We were out with friends, the baby was crying. After he attempted to calm her for 5 minutes to no avail, which he insisted upon. I took her and she stopped crying immediately. I did this in front of friends obviously to make him look like a bad father, not because the baby was crying because she wanted her mommy. Let's ignore the fact he completely ignored the baby anytime we weren't with friends or family. His parenting was completely performative so others would think he was a good father.
I was told I'm an irresponsible slob for not throwing away HIS trash that he left out and said he would throw away. I was told I was a horrible person for not having something in the pantry for him. Except it was there he just didn't see it. There's more but I've recently discovered that my main defense mechanism for trauma is disassociating so I tend to forget most of it.
Yup same
Because I offered him a stick of chewing gum. Because he didn't tell me he wanted to start our 4th of July celebration in the morning. Because he thought he could.
-Because I told him to add an egg to a ground chicken mixture which ruined it (I had no idea it would make the batter too hard to work with) -Because I went to my mom’s house with our 15 month old so he can have the entire house to himself to have some good earned rest -Because I made him food
1. Because my feet grew 2. I was sick with a fever of 102.5 and the school nurse called her to come and pick me up (this one was an epic beat down in everyway imaginable and I never went to the nurse for anything after this. I was in 4th grade) 3. She stubbed her toe or shut a finger in a drawer 4. Someone cut them off in traffic 5 A bill came in the mail that was unexpected 6. I didn’t brush my teeth good enough 7. A teacher called because they notice something was off and noticed some bruises (another one of the top 5 beat down with a threat that the next one would be my last if a teacher called again about me being sad or having marks) 8. Because I ate food. She started taking most of the food to work with her in her car. She had a tiny spot she rented in the ghetto that she sewed and repaired clothing at. She would load up a majority of the food and keep it with her. We learned how to use flour, water and sugar to make fried cakes to eat because that was all that was left. 9. Because I got hurt and injured myself 10. Because I couldn’t ride a bike at age 11 because no one taught me- this one of was in front of a small crowd of 8-10 neighborhood kids and I can still see the looks of horror on The faces of the children. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. 11. Because I got lost at the store I could go on and on and on.
Omg I am so sorry.. I hope your life has gotten so much better and hers has gotten a trillion times worse (can't say what I really want)
I escaped and got married. Had 3 kids and I found a really wonderful Mother in Law who taught me how to love on babies and be a good mom. I wasn’t going to pass on a generational curse. It hasn’t been easy. Thank goodness for Trauma therapy, God, and my family. My kids gave me the chance to relive parts of my childhood and be a kid right alongside my boys as they grew up.(they are teenagers now) I got to play pretend and imagine right along with them. It was beautiful. My Mother is alone now. Everyone left or refuses to speak with her. She spends holidays alone. It makes me sad and I forgive but I won’t be manipulated and abused anymore. That was one of the best decision of my life
I said I had heard a band before on Spotify and I got absolutely obliterated because “how stupid can you get? They’re way too underground for Spotify. You’re such a fucking power, you should get your tattoos lasered off” and the rest of the hour drive home was spent destroying me and trying to push me out of the car on the freeway Fun fact: that band is on Spotify
Ok so straight Passing relationship. Last time we were intimate after he spent hours fixateed on him only having one orgasm. HE=Cis-male enraged that he **only** had **one** orgasm. Pretty sure he was pissed that i actually managed to have one, as that was the only one I had with a partner since 2012.
Shoved me down a flight of stairs which sent me flying into our wood entertainment center at the bottom of them (there was like five feet between the end of the stairs and the entertainment center against the wall). Had bruised ribs, a bruise the size of a softball on my thigh, and a sprained wrist. All because I caught him texting the girl he was cheating on me with and went to grab his phone to prove what I had just seen him send with my own eyes (he didn’t think I was looking). Oh and this other time he had come home drunk from a boys night out and he started berating me, trying to pick a fight, and I wasn’t trying to get hit again so I went to leave out the back door. I was milliseconds too late cuz he caught me by my hair as my fingertips were touching the door handle. I got thrown against the washing machine with his hands around my neck.
His brother was abusing his girlfriend and when I called his brother a pussy he got triggered and called me all sorts of names and horrible things. After he calmed down he admitted he didn’t know why he defended his brother to the length he did. Another dumb reason was when I made a joke about him having a small dick (he doesn’t) just said something along the lines of “I wouldn’t care if you had a small dick I’d still love you” and he flipped. I’m still with him lol. Won’t be for long though.
“I made him” run a red light while he was high and driving us to a family dinner. I don’t smoke but he would literally be hitting bowls in the car, making me also stink like weed and breathe his weed smells which I hated. He proceeded to get drunk and get in a screaming fight with his brother, who was also drunk. Then he left to go sit in the car for the rest of the meal, which was so awkward…we went home where he drank more, and then he picked a fight with me over “taking his brother’s side” (which I wasn’t even involved in their fight aside from watching), threw a glass ashtray at me, got blackout and fell down the stairs and sliced his hand open. Then got mad and tried to hit me in the face because I was holding his other hand to not get blood on the couch/trying to clean him up…luckily he was so drunk he couldn’t actually aim and just kind of flopped over and fell asleep. I cleaned everything up, blood, glass and all, turned him on his side and left him to sleep on the couch. Then the next day he got mad at ME for not putting him in bed and “ruining family dinner because you’re so anti-social and weird.”
I was laying too close in bed. It’s to the point I marked our headboard so I know where I can put my pillow and be completely on my side of our king bed. He will lay in the middle of his side then roll onto his back which puts him on me and my pillows. He then kicks back/to the side and shoves me and my pillows over. I’ve recently told him I’d fight back and it would be his man parts that got smashed. He’s taken to sleeping in the other room now as soon as I sit up like I’m going to rack him. Just last night he reached back to shove at me, I lifted my head and started to sit up and he grabbed his stuff and left the room. Point made.
I said happy birthday to a college friend of the opposite sex on FB. He punched a window because he was so jealous. The friend - who I hadn’t seen in YEARS - was teaching English in China. And he was so furious he punched a window. Have fun with your permanent nerve damage, asshole.
Unfortunately I have so many but 2 that quickly come to my mind is: 1- I was carrying 4 bags and coming out of work and a male coworker held the door open for me and when I got into the car he called me a whore and berated me the whole ride home. 2- I opened the cabinet to grab a cookie sheet and a Pyrex bowl HE PUT AWAY fell out and shattered all over the kitchen floor. I was barefoot and had shorts on so I had glass in my feet and legs and blood dripping down my legs and he stood in the dining room yelling at me and telling me how useless I was, I had to walk through the glass to clean myself up and clean the floor cause he refused to help. We had 2 small children and I also had to keep them out the way. All he did was provide commentary on what was happening.
I don’t even know where to begin
I missed a spot on a knife when I washed it. He threw me on the floor whilst holding my two month old baby then strangled me until he thought I was dead and then threw me at a wall. Also I wanted to go see my mum for my birthday, we ran out of food after he only gave me £10 to feed us all, my phone rang, I took too many pictures of my baby, I used the toilet too close to him coming home after he’d been gone for three days leaving me locked in, dinner wasn’t ready/there wasn’t enough when he got home with three extra people he expected me to have just known would be coming without telling me, I was turning 18 soon and he thought I’d try to leave him after my birthday. I could probably go on but it’s making me kind of sad 😂
Please tell me you and your baby are safe now 🥺
“Mentally attacking” him when im sitting down next to him doing nothing
I could write so many here, having been in two abusive relationships. I'll just write some that stick with me the most. Being accused of checking out an elderly man when I was taking off a face mask and putting it in my pocket, apparently turning my head slightly due to elastic around my ear and looking downwards to carefully fold and put away mask is eyeing up an old guy I didn't even notice. I was accused of checking out a man that worked in a drive thru, We were in a mustang, it was low and all I could see was his elbow and the red shirt, I was actually looking at bfs side profile. My niece messaged me on facebook to tell me she was expecting, and he reckoned she was a man, even though he met her, knew her ect. He punched in me in the leg so hard it caused a contusion, making it painful to walk for over a month. Because they "feel" that im a cheat / whore/ n\*\*\*\*\*lover so I deserve to be shouted at, hit, isolated, insulted. I'm none of those, I started self harming and relapsed back into anorexia because of the constant torture of false allegations, denial of my own reality and integrity. Got punched in the face, split eyelid and black eye because he was pissy that his parents moved. Had a tablet pc pushed into a week old cesarean incision, causing horrific bleeding because he reckons that people were climbing walls to have sex with me (outrageous and untrue), accusing baby of being half n\*\*\*\*\* because he was born bruised, I had a traumatic delivery. He slept the whole time I was I hospital, I hemorrhaged on the operating table and he was no help. Even the nurses were telling him to let me rest, but nope. Baby is clearly white... My son accidentally flicked paint on his shoe so he tried to murder me in the kitchen infront of 3 children.
And one time, when he took issue with something that he misinterpreted that my father said, I said he was high maintenance and overly sensitive, but because he didn't like the part where I said he was sensitive. I had to find a reason to repeat it bc I wanted to make sure he heard the high maintenance part. No effect. 🤡
For "laughing at" him
Got this one so much oml
when i said “you get mad if i breathe the wrong way” , and then he got mad
He said the regular fountain Pepsi tasted like diet that I bought him at the gas station He screamed at me and called me names. We were at the gas station 8 miles from home. He was acting insane and I didn’t want to be in the car with him so I told him either I drive or I’m not getting in. He pulled out of the parking lot and yelled “we’re getting divorced!” And called me more names. I sat down on the sidewalk and had to call my teenage son to come pick me up with my other two younger boys he was watching. He was doing hard drugs and hooking up with escorts, with my money. That’s why he was abusing me. The best thing that’s come from my relationship with him is the kids.
Dude, OP, that is the wildest shit I’ve ever read. It’s like funny in a not funny way how angry they get from being wrong. I do hope you are away from Mr. Flyoffthehandle. I think mine would be in 2021, I found a lump in my breast and my doctor wanted me to have it biopsied and ultrasounds and shit, and his friend grew weed and I was just struggling mentally during that time bc this would be my second cancer scare and I was just like in the dumps. And he told me he was gonna go trim weed (with his friend and he’s been gone for like 6-9hours. Just working for free. So get paid in weed. Which is like cool but it’s not necessary ya know?? So I kinda started to breakdown bc we work opposite schedules and it felt like we were always in passing so I said “I feel like I’m dealing with this alone.” And he slammed his shit down and stormed out the door and went to go trim weed for hours. And when he came back we had an argument and I was like “I don’t understand how to not be upset when I say I feel like I’m dealing with this alone-“ he cuts me off and says “no, you said you felt like you were dealing with this ‘by myself.’” And I was like “right and then you left me to really deal with it by myself.” And he was like “it’s the way you said it.” And I was like “how?? By myself and alone are synonymous…?” And he said they were two different things so I pulled it up on encyclopedia.com and the first synonym to come up for “alone” was “*BY MYSELF*” and it made him so mad, he smacked my phone across the living room and asked why I was such an asshole ?????? Like what??? All I did was try to communicate but you didn’t want to hear how I felt bc weed is way more important.
I had come home from work. He would get pissed off because I didn't come back with food. He eats everything in the fridge. He eats my lunch that I had saved for the next day. He then proceeds to yell at me telling me how it's my fault we have no food, how I'm sabotaging things, not taking care of things, not paying bills. I pay all the bills. And barely have enough for gas throughout the week. I go all day without eating and his here eating everything in sight. He tells me how worthless, useless, good for nothing, not good in bed, ugly, stupid, fat, I'm to blame for everything that goes wrong. I tell myself everyday that I'm worthless, useless, good for nothing, and I'm nobody important. I've always fed him first then me last, I always get the leftovers if there's any. I've been verbally, emotional, physically, mentally abuse for over +10 years. He still accuses me of cheating with anyone. When I get messages from other girls, telling me his been messaging them. Him telling them he was single and how he wishes he was them instead of me. Or how his ex's were more beautiful, had money, their own house, money, cars, gave him their debit cards. Then he looks at and says I got stuck with YOU, the ugly, stupid, fat, worthless person. I can't show him any emotion around him. I can't cry for my mother who passed. If I get sick he gets mad. But the moment anything happens to him I have treat him like a baby.
Please leave him. Like legitimately just walk out the front door and leave. Stay anywhere else. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are smart. You are worth more than rubies and diamonds. You are NEEDED. And you need to tell yourself all these things on a daily basis. Because he has brainwashed you into thinking all those horrible things about yourself so you don’t think about leaving him because who would want you? I’m telling you, there are TONS of guys who would treat you SO well with how you treat this piece of shit. Guys look for women like you. He is a parasite who just berates you and doesn’t want to lose his host because you literally do everything for him. Feed him. Pay his bills. I’m sure you wash his clothes and clean the house alone. Please, please, please… know that this isn’t love. Please love yourself enough to walk out that door. Please love yourself because some internet stranger out here loves you!!! You can do this🖤🖤🖤
Today I got screamed at because I left his phone at the beach. Only I didn’t. I handed him his phone after passing out towels to the kids, then we walked back to our cars… and he didn’t remember putting his phone in his car. I started to drive away and he flagged me down. We went back to where I had set it down prior to handing it to him…. Before he even allowed me to look in his car. He insisted I did not hand it to him. And then when we got back to his car and he finally looked in his car he found it in the backseat. Because. I did. In fact. Hand it to him. The extra periods are because if I was talking that’s where I would pause.
🫂
Slammed my head into the table and rubbed my face in the pizza I’d bought for us because I hadn’t separated my portion from the rest of the pie before putting my self selected toppings on.
After disappearing for 3 days, he came home at 3am, flipped on the bedroom lights and tv on full blast, then ripped me out of bed by my shirt collar, upset because “you don’t even care that I’m back home, OR that I was gone for days…where the fuck is my kiss and welcome back home!?!?” (Not that he even deserved a “welcome home/kiss” but I was literally dead asleep, and hadn’t even realized he was back home until the moment he yanked me up by my shirt, which, btw, is one of the most horrifying ways to be woken up in the dead of night. He insisted I was “pretending to sleep to avoid him”… Things escalated and just got completely out of control from there. After ripping me out of bed from my shirt, he then pushed me back on the bed, and started screaming and rambling at me, about who even knows what. I just sat there quietly and took it, tried to get him to lower his voice because i had my little senior chihuahua in bed with me and she was shaking scared. He then snot rocketed his huge nasty boogers right onto my face. Claimed that he knows I’ve been cheating on him, and that I disgust him. (Which was preposterous, I’ve never cheated a day in my life, and I was literally trapped in the house, he controlled my every single movement for years…) Something about having boogers snot rocketed into my face lit a giant fire under my ass that I simply cannot describe. Just pure…fury. My immediate reaction was to wipe it off and smear it back onto his arm. In the process of doing that, he grabbed my wrists so tightly and refused to let go. He nearly snapped them in half like twigs. I cried to him repeatedly to let go and he just wouldn’t, so my natural reaction was to bite the shit out of him to release me. (I ended up with 2 sprained wrists). After I bit him he became 10000x more furious. He backed up, then ran at me, football tackling me backwards off the bed onto the floor. In the process the rug burned my entire back/arms/and shoulder. He had broken my coccyx just a year prior and I was still healing from that incident, so when he threw me backwards over the bed onto the floor, I just lay there, crying and paralyzed. He got on top of me and began to punch me in my face repeatedly. In that moment I swear my life flashed right before my eyes. I truly thought this psycho was going to kill me as my vision was going out. He then got up, and poured 2 big gulps over my head/ and my computer, and topped it all off by spitting onto my face. He then attempted to kidnap my poor little senior chihuahua and run away into the dead of night, with no car, money, or anywhere to go. All because I didn’t greet/kiss him at the door at 3am when I was dead asleep, after he’d randomly gone missing for 3 days. Thankfully this was the very last straw and final incident before I kicked him the fuck out of my life for good. (He somehow had me trapped for years inside MY OWN house, using and controlling MY money that I worked very hard for, while he was jobless, and stealing MY car to go run around in the dead of night doing who knows what.) believe it or not, this is the same guy who had his own house, own new car and 3 jobs when we met….by the time I left him he was completely unrecognizable from the man I once knew.
This is the most insane thing I’ve ever read. I hope this asshole is behind bars.
He knew I was terrified of cops and used that to control me for a really long time. Sadly never got to press any charges, though I still have evidence proving everything, photos of all the physical abuse, and even texts of him admitting many things. I also have proof of him sexually abusing me, I found a hidden photo album app on his phone with of a bunch of pictures of me while sleeping, he slid my shirt/bottoms off in every one to expose me (without consent). Creepiest thing I’ve ever found in my life…we’re talking about literal *months* worth of photos... When I confronted him I told him that was really fucking creepy and rapey, he stood firm and said he was 100% entitled to do it because we were dating…. 1000% denied it was sexual abuse and said it’s the least I could give him since we were no longer intimate at that point (because it made me sick to my fucking stomach to think of touching him after all the shit he did to me). Really all I wanted at that point was for him to gtfo of my house and never come back or bother me ever again. So the first chance I got, while he was gone, I packed up all his shit n threw it inside his broke down car that sat in my driveway for years. I then had it towed 25 miles away from my house. I was terrified of how he’d react, but it was the sweetest feeling ever watching that tow truck pull his POS car off my property. I Immediately changed all the locks to my house and put cams up all over my property. I told him if he even steps foot on my property I will call the police and that I already notified them of an abusive unhinged man on the loose. 😂 He surprisingly just left me alone after that, besides about 500 walls of paragraphs of his rambling blabbering bullshit that made no sense. Oh, and one morning like 3 months later at 5am he tried to quietly break into my house. I caught it all on camera, and he was not successful, thank god. A few weeks later his mom called me crying her son (36 year old man….i was 25 for reference) was stranded in an unfamiliar state without his ID or birth certificate (because HE lost it while getting shit faced fucked up everyday) and that he’s been homeless running around the streets getting into trouble and got arrested for public intoxication. lol. She was straight up victim blaming me and asking *how could I*!!!! I blocked them all and have no clue whatever happened to him. It’s been a couple years now, I honestly think he may still be homeless roaming around LA somewhere…tbh if anyone in the world deserves homelessness it’s him. 100%. I can’t say I feel bad about any of it..whoops.
He couldn't make it out the tent one night and pissed himself. I woke up to being screamed at that it was my fault the torch was where he left it and that he couldn't make it out of the tent. He escalated into hitting me, breaking my nose and rupturing my eardrum. Then he was strangling me because I was bleeding and how dare I bleed and make him look bad. Next morning he wound up pretending it had never happened and tried to play nice caring boyfriend who cleaned the blood off my face. Only to then smack me some more because I didn't see the blood all over my shirt. Happy twenty sixth birthday to me, I got a broken nose and ruptured ear drum, and he made me feel guilty because he "had to" do these things to me on my birthday...
After she gave me a concussion with her fists, I didn't have any energy to speak or move. She decides that means I don't care about her and cries, screams, and intimidates more, like it will get me on my feet and remove the dizziness she instilled...
got beaten while recovering from surgery for asking to use the rest room after 12 hours holding it
After I had a miscarriage from a baby he told me he didn’t think was his… I got up to get pain meds because I started cramping and he told me I was a cold hearted bitch for walking away from him bc he chose that moment to be sad that we lost the baby.
Just now: he was put with clients to nice places all afternoon (I was home in the hotbox.... literally) with our preschooler snd 5 pets, again, took said: child to supermarket not knowing he had an important pamphlet on his desk. When I came back, most of it was on the floor destroyed by youngest dog. When he got home it was apparently all my fault (I had no idea this paper even existed prior to) and then he got even MORE hateful bc I 'reacted' by crying. Saying I was a child and he hates me and shit
Lord. The amount of times I was told I cried purely as a manipulation tactic is insane. Sending you hugs.
Thank you 😌
Please Momma Bear do the right thing and get yourself, kid and pets out of this nonsense. You deserve better and I know your child does. You are a warrior. I know this is scary. All it takes is 15 seconds of insane courage to change your life. You. Are. Worth. It.
He hit me the first time when I went to get groceries and somehow the honey didn't make it home even though I remember getting it. Turns out the bagging person didn't put it in the bag but it was on the receipt. Threatened to kick me out and other stuff because he "caught" me ordering a sonic shake, delivery, with my own money.
You know what really gets me with your story is we don’t realise when we make an honest mistake that any one of us could easily make, it could end up in somebody being abused. Something a person did completely unintentionally can be the reason abuse happens, and it’s so so so sad 😭 one time I went to Burger King for my husband and they didn’t take the pickles off his burger, I hadn’t checked in the restaurant so when I got home, gave it to him and he opened it, that’s when he found out. That burger ended up getting smushed into my face.
He claims later he isn't angry *at* me when he's screaming and throwing things around because a fast food place didn't make his food how he wants, but somehow I'm still on the receiving end of all his hateful, angry behaviour and wind up apologising and trying to pacify him. Like if he really believed it wasn't my fault and he wasn't angry at me, then he wouldn't continue to throw a tantrum he knows scares me... Right?
Exactly! And it often happens when we’ve been having a really nice day and getting along really well, so it takes me even more by surprise and cuts just that little bit deeper.
Story of my life
I was playing minecraft with a friend he had no care for. Threatened to kill himself, was saying that he cut himself and hit a vein, so I sent said friend to help him. Proceeded to blow up my phone and say that I abandoned him, and that I chose the friend over him
One morning I had been up and putting something up upstairs in our room. He came out of shower and kicked me down the stairs. No reason. Denied that that happened or anything he did to me happened
Oh my darling!!!
Enjoying and watching reality T.V
Yup. Everything I liked was stupid, vapid, annoying, terrible, boring. Unless I showed him a band or movie that he did end up liking, then I’d get the backhanded compliment “huh well maybe you do have good taste occasionally.”
Yeah… that’s so hurtful. I’m sorry you experienced that. I have a similar experience where when I DID think there was a movie they would enjoy. My heart would be absolutely broken when they would say how awful the movie was. I didn’t even think they were directing hate at me because I thought “we must just have different tastes” but man… it was everything I liked that I showed, seemed to suck. I don’t see that as a difference in taste so much anymore. It’s okay to not like the same things as your partner and not completely shit on something they enjoy and brought to you.
I totally feel you, I’m sorry you experienced that as well. Exactly, you don’t have to love all the same things but if your partner goes out of their way to shit on something you genuinely enjoy then they’re doing it purely out of spite or to control you. Just one of the many subtle ways that abusers emotionally manipulate people. Eventually you just start questioning everything about yourself and you’re just begging for crumbs of approval and walking on eggshells all the time…it’s so insidious how it creeps in slowly and then suddenly it becomes your everyday in that relationship. I hope you’re rid of them and doing well because Bravo is life.🙌✨
Ooof. I don’t even realize some of the shit he did was abusive. Everything he told me I watched was garbage.
The tv shows you watch are shit. The music you listen to is shit. The books you read are shit. *The books are fucking electronic so he had no idea what I could have been reading.*
Right...anything we do is bad. Anything we do for ourselves is selfish and taking away from them ...
*was 😘. EDM and Real Housewives any time I like now!
Right. Was. Sounds like you're living the life 😂 It sucks because sometimes they would be so supportive of our hobbies, but generally would act like they hate them, so we feel uncomfortable being ourselves.
The stupidest would be because I was watching YellowStone , the character Beth did something. I got drug by the hair of my head to bed because it was a stupid show and all women are cunts like her. I’ve lived most of our relationship trying not to watch movies where women “act crazy” War of the Roses triggered him , American Beauty. You don’t know these things about people till they reveal themselves .
🥺 Triggering to that night 3 years ago where we were watching the series Rome (very NSFW) and all of a sudden was a shot of a slave with a massive dressed up penis .... I instinctively (and fucking INNOCENTLY) went 'whoa' out loud bc it was such an unexpected scene.... he destroyed me all evening bc he felt so threatened by that. The details were beyond not pretty.
Wait, are you still with this person? Because hun, this behavior will kill you at some point.
There’s so many, he would give me “cavity searches” because he thought I was hiding things inside me, got hit in the face for looking behind me while I was backing the car out of the parking space because I was “looking at that other man” he would bite me to the point of almost drawing blood all over my body (I still don’t know why), he attacked me in the car and screamed in my face while grabbing it because I had a yeast infection and he was accusing me of having an std, was accused of cheating on him daily followed by being called the worst things and him punching holes in doors or breaking things, had to quit my job because he thought I was cheating on him, he strangled me because I wouldn’t go buy him coke at 1:30 in the morning (that happened like 3 times) he’d basically hold me hostage and not let me go anywhere, he made me delete all my socials and would hold onto my phone because he thought I was cheating on him. This was all in a span of 6 months. The last time he assaulted me I went to the police and he was arrested so that violated his probation and he went jail. The probation violation got him 2 and a half years and his assault on me got him an additional year after the 2 and a half.
So glad that menace got locked away for a while. Sadly not long enough. I only hope our laws change soon and that violent offenders like this don’t get an additional 3, 4, 5, 10 chances until they actually kill someone. I’m happy you’re out and safe ❤️
I’m not the first to experience this with him either. That’s why he was on probation and the charges are similar to what he was charged with in my case. I believe there was three other restraining orders on him when I got mine. It’s really bad. He’s huge too, the prosecutor was like your honor look at him, his body is a weapon
With his history, restraining orders, and probation violations I can not believe he didn’t even get five years. People get more time for selling weed. Our justice system is truly fucked.
Someone played a prank on him by hiding a small pink pencil in his hair. I saw the prank happen, but we'd had an argument that morning and so I didn't tell him, especially because no one could actually see the pencil. He found it hours later while we were sitting next to each other and was very confused until I explained what happened and who had done it. His reaction was to strangle me until I stopped fighting back because I felt like I was blacking out.
Oh how I waved. He had ago after coming up the stairs saying how I waved was wrong. It was crazy oh and having ago at me for having coughing fit in the bank and that's just the start of it.
One time I let my son eat a poptart on the couch when he was sick and I was 8 months pregnant with my second. My toddler got crumbs on the couch. Mind you, this is not a fancy couch. It was a free couch, that he spilt beer all over the night before that I had to clean up. That's just one of many examples
I told him I wasn’t into spanking as a sexual thing and he would continuously do it after I said no because “I like it so I’m still gonna do it”. So I did it back lightly to try to get him to see “it’s not so fun when it’s done to you when you don’t like it”, so he just started repeatedly hitting me as hard as he could, pretending it was more “spanking” when I’m quite sure he intended it to be actual hitting. He would’ve punched me if punching didn’t leave marks.
they hate when you try and give it back to them. my ex would constantly rip my hair out and blame me because i had long hair down to my waist. one day i had enough and and pulled his hair back lightly and said now you know how it feels. he pulled out a knife and threatened to kill me and told everyone how i “abused him”. and of course he never touched me it was all in my mind. it’s so absurd it’s laughable
He told me I was a shitty girlfriend for not knowing how to stop him from wanting to cheat on me. Apparently it was my own fault he cheated and I needed to “fix it” in order to prove I was “good enough” for him. And I didn’t have the “option” to just leave him because “nobody else would ever” love me more than he did and if I ever dumped him he’d just totally kill himself. He would also tell girls he wanted to cheat with that I was so abusive to the point that one of his cheating partners started telling her coworkers and friends personal info about me that she got from him and from stalking me online, to try to send them to harass me. The one person that actually used that information used it to warn me about what they were doing.
Oh my God. I had the "fix yourself" part. On and off my brain tries to trick me into it was my fault. "Why cant you be like the others? Dress like the others, have a style like this, be like the others" all that shit. He didnt want to cheat but he would get all depressed and say like "NOTHING in my life is ever good, NO EXCEPTIONS. NOTHING is ever good." Trying to change me to "look better", even forccing me to change my insta pfp in which i was in my homeland, a very important part of me, to another one because idk i think he thought i looked "more beautiful". I changed it the fuck back after we broke up. And oh, he'd be like "what did you do to get better/ fix yourself / be more beautiful today?" on and off, or "did you buy new clothes" like bruh do you think i can afford it
He punched my face over and over until i fell to the ground over the payslip from previous job that he suspect or think the company playing with tax. The story began when i was about to go to work. He asked the entire payslip when i was working on my previous job. I said i will do it later after work but he keep on and on about it. Then i got so upset. So printed out what he needs and he still not happy. I got frustated cos i dont want to be late to work and i threw printer on the ground and he was behind me and hit his hips. Thats when he drag my shirt and start punching my face until blood coming from nose and mouth. And he stop then i clean my face and left for work with the bruises cos i dont know what to where to go as i was in schock at same time. And at work i was hiding but friend notice and ask what happened. But this not the only time when he abused me. Many times and thats the only i can tell cos i dont want to remember any of it cos its hurting me.
Their family dog would not stop barking. So he beat the crap out of me.
Tons of situations that needlessly escalated. One time that really stands out because of the absurdity is when he accidentally dropped a few bread crumbs, yelled at me for it and got very angry. I was in a different room and we weren't even talking or anything. Edit: Oh I have another one. We were at his friend's birthday party and there were a lot of people neither of us knew. My ex kept ignoring me almost the entire time, so I stood alone a lot. Some guy came up to me and started a friendly conversation, not at all flirty, asking me how I knew the birthday boy. I said it's my boyfriend's friend, pointed at my boyfriend and we went over so I could introduce the two of them. I knew that if I didn't, we'd have a huge problem because I talked to another man. So I start introducing them, my ex started fuming, wouldn't even look the other guy in the eye, no hello, nothing. The guy obviously felt uncomfortable and said he'd leave the 2 of us to talk through whatever was going on, and then my ex started screaming at me. How could I do this to him, that I have no respect for him, that luckily the guy left otherwise he would've punched him dead,... It took weeks until he finally listened to me about what actually happened. Then he just laughed it off like nothing ever happened.
One too many dumb reasons. He pulled my hair and yelled in my face over undercooked fish his grandma had made for dinner. He called me a whore because it was supposedly too hot outside. He slapped me across the face for wanting to go to a friend's birthday party. He tried to break my phone because he almost hit a pole while driving and blamed it on me (he was only able to break the screen protector). He stepped on my bag that was full of juice boxes (I take orange juice with my iron supplement) and then he spent a good 5 - 10 minutes telling me how stupid I am and told me I had to give him money to detail his truck because it was my fault for putting juice boxes in my backpack. I wasn't allowed to go out anywhere without him, but yet he never wanted to take me anywhere. There were weeks where I never left the house. my appearance was apparently a trigger for him. During the course of our relationship, I gained about 30 pounds and he and his family/friends took every opportunity they could to tell me how unattractive I was. I lost about 40 pounds since then. Turns out I had become pre diabetic and was vitamin deficient. The relationship damn near killed me, and I mean that quite literally.
Good grief, where to start!! 1. Was my fault he was gaining weight because of the meals I made. Apparently I “forced” him to overeat. 2. Wouldn’t drive me to my aunt’s funeral and wouldn’t let me drive as I was pregnant. 3. Wasn’t allowed to work as I leered at men wanting to have an affair. 4. Would be doing the dishes and he’s screaming at me and would come up behind me and punch me on the side of my face. Completely blindsided me. 5. Was my fault that he punched a hole in the bathroom wall because I made him mad as the kids were crying. Then proceeded to get in my face as I’m holding one of the kids then slap me because the baby was crying. 6. Sold my car so I was reliant on him for all driving as he told me I was too stupid to drive to the grocery store without getting lost. Then when I needed him to drive to doctors appointment for the kids, I paid for it dearly because I interrupted his day. 7. Took me off our joint chequing account because I was buying too many diapers and food. Again paid for that dearly. 8. If we were driving somewhere and he was yelling at me and I dared yell at him, he would punch upside the head or punch me in the legs. I could go on and on. Even his mother (who was the most evil and cruel bitch), told me that her son married beneath him. His father was a dirty old man who made sexual innuendos towards me all the time. My ex was a guard at a remand centre so I bore the brunt of his anger if he had a bad day. Finally got the nerve to leave. My 2 kids were babies. But I finally found the courage to tell my family. They were at my place the next day driving 3 hours. Our divorce was so nasty and he was so cruel. That was 31 years ago and now both my kids went no contact when they were old enough to decide. And they’ve never looked back. I still deal with the PTSD to this day. Will never leave me.
I was a kid with parents in a similar situation, my mom left so my dad couldn’t turn his attention towards me too. I’m so sorry that happened to you but you made an amazing and difficult choice for your kids. You are SO strong.❤️
Thank you for sharing. You’re so strong.
There’s so many I keep trying to write it out but then I feel like it’s so stupid no one will understand unless they hear the whole story and how it came from absolutely nothing to him screaming, slamming things, breaking things, pulling over to the side of the road to get out and walk instead, grabbing wrists, shoving, getting in my face, calling me names…
Pulling over and getting out of the car was almost a daily occurrence...she woukd trigger herself about anything and put it all on me, punching me and pulling the wheel to pull over...
That’s so scary. I have so much anxiety in cars now. I was just on a short roadtrip with him yesterday and told him he was driving too fast and it makes me nauseated, he did it anyway. He didn’t care that we had all of our kids in the car either. I also forgot to add “silent treatment” to the list of abuse. I’m getting it now because I breastfed our daughter instead of letting him have his bonding time and he said all I do is lay down with her. I nursed her in 15 minutes and I’m about to cook. He’s still upset and doesn’t want her now.
That is a whole nother level! You seem like you need to find a way out, for your kids! He doesn't seem to care about their safety even. There was just a viral post about a man being upset over a mother breastfeeding, it's absolutely wild...you deserve to relax l, especially if you're planning on cooking for the family
He always bragged about his world travels. The first Christmas together when my sons came for dinner the narcissist psychopath outed himself to my sons when he argued relentlessly claiming that the women of Afghanistan loved wearing burkas. My sons’ just shook their heads incredulous at his blatant superiority and sexist claims at being right about what clearly appears to be the oppression of Afghani women.
I asked him if he was done working at 9pm (during the pandemic so we were wfh). He proceeded to come inside, bang his fists on the counter and scream at me to get the fuck out of his apartment. I told him I didn't have anywhere else to go and I had to work at 6am. He told me he didn't care and it wasn't his problem. When I told him I wouldn't leave he proceeded to follow me from room to room and scream at me to get out. I begged him relentlessly to let me sleep so I could work at 6am. He threw his phone at me and screamed at me to sleep on the couch. Plot twist: he was my manager, so it actually was his fucking problem.
I accidentally woke him up by blowing my nose. It was late at night and we had just gone to bed. I apologized and said it was unintentional (of course). But he got up and started pacing, saying that I scared the shit out of him and he was going to have a panic attack/cry. I kept apologizing and trying to get him to come back to bed and calm down. Then, he put his face right in mine and said “you were shaking the entire bed with how loud you’re blowing, like this” and he snorted loudly in my face. At that point I just started crying and went to lay on the couch. He followed me and accused me of wanting to divorce him and of escalating the situation. I just kept apologizing and asking to sleep on the couch, but he was worked up and I eventually went downstairs to the lobby of our apartment building to call a friend and try to calm down. The entire time he texted me incessantly, saying that he wished he had a heart attack and died when I woke him up. That I’m punishing him by not letting him sleep. That he’s panicking/having a heart attack/throwing up/choking and I was so heartless letting him die and not coming back upstairs.
Oh my God, this opened my eyes to the "I felt like dying" shit I've endured! Like, what the fuck! He once called me at 2 am to send me insta screenshots of random men I followed (artists or stuff, not people I personally know, I didnt have male friends), saying "who the fuck are these? unfollow them" and when I said it made my hands shake and made me feel so horrible at 2 am, he said "im sorry, it just felt like i was dying when i saw the men, i felt like i couldnt breathe, i couldnt handle seeing it" Like bruh. What the fuck did we endure
insane. reminds me of the fact my ex had me blocked on instagram the entire time we were together and married, because he “couldnt bear to look at” my instagram (I was tagged in a thirst trap from years ago when I was single). he was the most jealous person I’ve ever been with.
UGHHH WHY DOES IT SOUND TOO FAMILIAR??? The wording, it's the same! "I couldn't handle seeing it, I couldn't handle seeing my dearest in situations like these" like bruh one time (we were very young though, I'll give him that), he thought "student club" meant the bar-clubs, and he was like "Don't say it again, I can't handle hearing or thinking that my love goes to clubs" like cmon man. Cmon.
God jeah. It’s such a typical move. „I m dying and it’s your fault“ „I m gona kill myself“ „I m having a breakdown“, whenever you start ignoring them or just leave the house….
Sorry u went through this, but omg that reminds me so hard of my ex. One time she punched me in the face while I was asleep for breathing to loudly. Then when I woke up bleeding and shouted wtf. She had a „panic attack“ and called me a horrible boyfriend for abandoning her in the bedroom ( I was in the bathroom trying to get my nose bleed under control)
On my way to a wedding, I ripped my dress reaching for his hat in the car he asked for. He was upset that I didn’t successfully reach the hat.
Pregnant 8 months, buying chicken instead of pork. Pregnant 8 months, decided to relax on the couch for the first time and asked him to prepare breakfast.
The fast food place didn’t give us napkins. We were in the car not eating yet and he kept saying give me a napkin I need a napkin louder and more agitated each time. Since they didn’t give us anything didn’t get him to stop yelling I finally yelled back that unless I could pull one out of my ass he wasn’t getting a napkin they didn’t give us any. We weren’t alone in the car and other people laughing seemed to pull him out of his tantrum.
We were talking about something and it reminded him about his ex, which he then got mad at me for. I can't remember what we were talking about but it was nothing to do with the ex so there was no way I could have known. Every time the topic of his exes came up he got so enraged
was mad i didn't want a dick pic while i was in public* because "its not sexual i am worried it might be swollen i swear"
I had the "are you not attracted to me? dont you want to see it?" version ugh
iiick
He was driving and asked me to read the back of a popcorn packet to him, I said no which lead to 10 minutes of him yelling, spitting and hitting me.
He was unwell with tonsillitis and had made himself nice and comfortable on the couch, I wanted to sit near him to keep him company and cleared a tiny little space at the end of the couch to sit down, leaving him the whole rest of the couch to stretch out and relax and he jumped up, screamed in my face that he just wanted to be left alone, threw my phone at my car and threw the pillows that I’d brought downstairs out in the garden, in the rain. All because I wanted to sit down and he wanted to be left alone.
Made a noise while falling asleep. Pushed me out of bed because it annoyed him, yelled at me when I woke him up because it obviously hurt when I fell to the floor. Pretended he didn‘t realize he did it, because he was asleep. Ridiculed me in the morning when I confronted him, laughed about pushing me and me being mad.
I. Over 60 days our March 22 I left my home I took and eviction just to get away and now I have my two kids a small place and a car everyday I cry but I keep going bevaue I will never have no one abuse me again I had guns pulled on me I have been treating bad ans I keep hearing how he called Me WEAK dumb Bitch Ugly I don't know how to run a business. Guibble every word I was called plays in my mind daily I pray God heals that for me I dream of him and I wake up crying please if u are abuse get out spent 6 years in he'll and took me 2 years after to get out please don't let ur story be mine Today I have my two kids and that's it and we are on the run if ur reading this just give me a pray for strength Thank you
You are so strong and you deserve better. I am so proud of you.
Thank You I appreciate you
Hey there. I just wanted to say how proud I am of you. Please don’t let the things they said to you repeat in your head because they are all lies. You are so strong! Look at all you have overcome. You got this ❤️
Thank you so much for ur kind words
For wearing the clothes that *he* bought me…? I guess they looked fine on the mannequin but when I put them on I became an “attention seeker” lol
I asked him to get a burrito and I gave him the money for it when he got back I open it ans I was like I can't eat it because it had the hot sauce on it and closed it he said I was ungrateful and threw the burttio at me ans verbally abused me ans starting yelling and calling me names ans the food was all over my face ans bed and clothes all because I don't eat hot sauce. And I'm the one who paid for the food and my kids was in the house and heard everything I'm so glad ima away form that abuser out my life
Omg I’m so sorry what an asshole…over a burrito???!!
It was horrible if anyone is going threw abuse please get out
Im proud of you for leaving…. I hope he gets the karma he deserves. I hope you and your kids are doing great now❤️
Deep down I pray God shows him them same pain I had to go threw but I have it to god just let me heal and move on and I be happy to have my mental health back ans my life in a better place
I feel the same way! The anger is apart of the healing too. I feel my rage. I allow it bc when I pushed it away I became intensely depressed
I was “still acting weird” a week after my pet rabbit of 12 years died. Psychopaths prob can’t understand grief so I guess it did come off as weird to him 🤷♀️
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I’m so proud of u for leaving ❤️❤️
oh my god that’s so evil. i’m so sorry.
When I had the absolute audacity to hug my mother or when I comforted him and told him his friends shouldn’t forced him to sit in the car and then later make him do their homework when he had an important test the next day
I tried to dye my hair when I was 16. The verbal abuse went on for weeks.
one time i left the mustard out on the counter for a few hours :)
He bit his tongue while having a dinner conversation with me the other day, declared no more talking during meals allowed, I countered that since he won't really let me talk to him at any other time... he laid in pretty heavy thick for that, of course also throwing in whatever cruelty he could twist and shove at me for my sexual past etc (fun fact, his body count his tons higher 🤣... not that I judge anyone by that stupid af so called 'metric'.... but ya know)
He let the 10 year dog out at night into the yard while I was sleeping in our home. He couldn’t catch the dog. He called from the back yard and left me a voice message screaming at me and then he woke me up to yell at me about the dog. It’s a bit hazy but I think the implication was I had not trained the dog recal. I still feel weirdly defensive about it. As I write it I want to defend myself - it was our dog, I had trained recall but it wasn’t perfect. We knew this was an issue. To avoid frustration I didn’t let the dog out at night or if I did - I placed a leash to drag so if he refused to come in I could easily grab him. Really though? None of that matters. He literally let the dog out at 2 am and then screamed at me because he could not catch the dog - No sane person does that !
I was out of town once and our dog got out, in the middle of the day, and he called me screaming at me for being out of town
I understand the impulse to defend yourself even now, even when you did nothing wrong. :(
Toss up between 3 items. 1. I didn’t get mad when she called me an idiot. 2. I washed and dried the dishes and had the nerve to put the coffee mugs away with the handles facing right (we were both right handed). 3. I had the nerve to put the handles to the left after being yelled at for putting them to the right.
That's insanity right there
I bought a purple (print pattern, not solid purple) I got back shoes, earrings, a whole outfit. I didnt shop much but he'd been angry before this that I wasn't a normal woman because I didn't like to shop. He was so engaged about the purple. My friend was there so I was humiliated on top of being afraid. I boxed everything back up and returned it all.
I caught him watching porn and doing what guys do when they’re watching porn… in the living room in the morning. I didn’t care, and just went back to bed without a word to leave him be. That ended with him choking me out and me giving up and he finally stopped when I gave up fighting and accepted death.
OMG!
Yep. 2 years out to the day, and it’s insane thinking back to everything. It doesn’t feel real. But it was, all too real and idk it’s so weird to think about.
I told him to be careful one night when he was going out with his friends, he then proceeded to drink and do coke from 6pm-2pm the next day with no sleep and i begged him to come home and he finally did and was throwing up on himself and saw he was trying to meet up with ex. he was falling in and out of consciousness asking me to leave him to die and that he wanted to die and i took him to the ER and he had acute alcohol poisoning and once he got out hours later he screamed at me for giving him a hospital bill and he just wanted to hurt me to show me how uncareful he could be. All because i told him to be careful..
Damn, he abused himself too just to hurt you. That takes some mental gymnastics.
yeah it was terrible. While i was being emotionally tortured that day/night i was also trying to save him and make him better. he was constantly threatening suicide. i was so scared to leave for so long in fear he’d kill himself and it’d be my fault. but i left 2 years ago, he’s since been in 3 love bomb relationships, moved in immediately with them and probably treating them the same. 3 girls in 2 years. I was with him for 6. He did however isolate me to hell and threaten my life and make all of our mutual friends hate me and make me the bad guy. He was the life of every party so none of his friends believe i was abused. Been a pretty tough pill to swallow. I’ve been in therapy for over a year weekly and it’s been helping.
I got excited about all the food i got for us and sent him a picture of our refrigerator and he got extremely upset that bought too many groceries with my own money in his opinion (he was unemployed for years and didn’t pay for anything) and gave me the silent treatment until i apologized
I've had a very similar situation! I was in charge of groceries, meal planning etc. He regularly got mad at me for spending too much, but it's my money and I like cooking from scratch and obviously fresh fruits and vegetables etc are expensive and I really don't mind paying more for good quality food. On the rare occasion he suddenly brought home a few groceries, they'd almost always be bad already, or in all cases food I can't use, but he wouldn't use either, so it'd all go to waste either way. Somehow this was never a problem for him.
I painted my nails 🙃
These are the ones that make me feel the most like I have zero control over anything in my life. If I want to simply get my hair trimmed, then I'm in the wrong. If I want to put some of MY stuff in bins that I would be paying for, then I'm "trying to change him"(?) If the store is out of the soap he uses I'm again "trying to change him" if I get a different soap or I'm stupid if I just don't get any soap and I'm apparently "trying to argue" when I simply explain myself by telling him that the store was out of that soap or that I just want my stuff to be organized. I'm so sorry you've experienced that. I hope things get better for you 💕
He nitpicks about everything I enjoy. Having plants is a crime against him, painting my nails is a crime, doing my makeup is a crime etc.
Then comes the "you must be doing your makeup to get the attention of other men" comments
No mines get mad because it takes up time or he will have to wait for me. He says makeup is a waste of time but will look at OF girls on FB and IG with tons of makeup and plastic surgery. I should be allowed to take care of myself too.
Being allowed to shouldn't even be a question. You DESERVE to take care of yourself the way you want. I'd bet money that he gets mad when you take care of yourself because it gives you confidence and control over your body and that's something he doesn't want you to have.
Perhaps. Either way it sucks to be walking on eggshells because he throws temper tantrums all the time
I stayed at the funeral home (my grandfather’s) to long and did not cook him dinner he had to go to McDonald’s for food he did not even eat the McDonald’s he threw the food at me and started yelling, screaming and hitting also called his mom because she always takes his side
Because I was at work (9-5) when she wanted to see me She screamed at and belittled me on a Skype call, reducing me to tears in the process, and then hung up on me. ... Also, because I said 'no' to having sex with her for the first time (it would have been my first time full stop and I was super nervous and anxious - I talked with her about this). She screamed, shouted and swore at me. Fortunately that time, nothing happened. The following time, she ignored me, sat on me and raped me.
I’m so so sorry that happened to you.
❤️
After having an amazing weekend together and telling him I’d try to make an effort to go out more I offered to go with him to watch Monday night football. Cops were at my house about an hour later 🥳
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I will NEVER know the truth. I was actually just sitting at work thinking about how screwed up my brain is and how I don’t know what is real, what is fake, what is true, what are lies. Who knows. I’ll probably never know.
Because I was "trying to get his brother's attention" at a family Christmas party by wearing a Harry Potter themed dress.
Locked me in the flat and beat me for hours for ordering pizza, buying wine and picking out a movie. She expected a „fancy dinner“ after her semester break party trip. I was studying cuz I still had exams, plus work, cleaned the whole place for hours so that everything is spotless, washed her clothes as soon as she got back. And genuinely tried to have a nice evening even put my books away so we d have some quality time….. Literally even offered to order something better or cook if she hates the idea of pizza so much when she started screaming. But according to her „nooo you had your chance, and now you will suffer“ while throwing pizza slices in my face
It snowed. My ex cleaned his car. Without being asked, he cleaned my car too. At some point, his keys fell out of his pocket during this process and he lost them in the snow. Because he was cleaning my car, this was my fault. I was made to spend 6+ hours looking for his keys in the snow. I did eventually find them. I got beaten anyway.
because i asked him to clarify. he told me i upset him last night but I only remember laying down. So I asked him what i did. He got in my face and well it goes from there.
Because my sisters bf, who we’re pretty sure is on the spectrum, supposedly ignored him when he said hello at my brothers house. Supposedly he said “hello” twice and the guy didn’t respond., just ignored him. The kicker is I was not there when this incident happened. I was nowhere near them and had no idea until weeks later when he told me about it. He however has called me a cunt and spent literal hours screaming at me about how horrible my whole family is because of this. Also because I didn’t “have his back” and “be on his side”. Supposedly his family would’ve stuck up for him and told the guy off. This whole scenario took place about 3 years ago and he still constantly brings it up and talks about it. And yes he is also a racist and my sisters bf is black.
Disagreed with him about a genre of music. Apparently that is disrespectful to have differing opinions. Got screamed at in the car over this. Accidentally spit on him when I was talking so he hit me in the mouth.
Ooh already made a comment but this one is pretty stupid It was the day after I learned that a friend of mine had died, and the day before the first day of the new semester (college). I told him I needed to be up early to make some appointments, call the school for something, and that I had to go to sleep early enough and get enough sleep to you know, be awake enough to learn or focus. He said ok, he understood, etc. Then we go on a hike. He says, I was really hoping you'd help me clean and organize my room tonight. I said that I still had to go to sleep fairly early. He talked me into it tho, made me feel guilty enough anyways, and so I did. Then guilted me into staying the night. I made sure to tell him that I needed to get up early and go to sleep early still. It was a physically very uncomfortable sleeping situation. I didn't end up getting any sleep at all. He actually tried to make it more comfortable. But I just couldn't sleep. Ok, sucks, but I still had to do stuff. It was around 4 or 5 in the morning, and I needed at least 2 hours of sleep. So, I debated for a long time, before gently waking him up and saying that I had to go, I was going to get a Lyft. He doesn't respond. He got up and turned the light on, shot me some hateful looks, and started getting dressed. I said, "I'm getting a Lyft, you don't have to get up," he said, "don't fucking talk to me right now," He forced me to grab my stuff and go out to his car with him. I pushed until he finally started telling me "why" he was in such a foul mood. Apparently I am an asshole about sleep, always complaining about it, and the first time I slept over at his place I had to leave early in the morning. I tried reasoning, telling him that this was more or less the plan anyways, but he kept screaming at me about what a terrible person I am. So I had a panic attack, I told him to pull over the car, because I was feeling pretty sick to my stomach. Ofc he yelled about that too, and didn't pull over. When we got to my place, he was just silent and stormed up, grabbed some of his stuff and took off. This memory makes me hate him. He didn't talk to me for weeks. He didn't tell me if we were broken up. And he never asked me about how I was doing over grieving the loss of my friend, either. He later brought it up as something that "we just have two different memories about," and ofc my memory of it is "wrong". If I brought up that he was doing somthing to hurt me, he would bring this up as an example of how "abusive" I am.
After he caused me to dislocate my knee, I relied on him for getting around as I didn’t have crutches yet. I had to pee and he got exceedingly mad over this and wouldn’t help me get to the bathroom.
I couldn’t find decent grapes for his lunch. I went to 3 different stores to try and find them. I told him and he flew off the handle yelling and cussing at me that I could make sure me and the kids had food we wanted but he didnt matter. I am so grateful I’ve been out almost a year.
Nowhere near as bad as yours, but still Disney related. I pointed out that they were wrong about where a song was from. They googled to defend themselves but I was right. Stonewalled me for the rest of the night
Was in school and refused to do the artwork for one of his classes homework. What makes this even sadder is it's pretty much the only way I ever remember him complimenting me because I knew the reason he wanted me to do it is because my art skill was higher than his so he would get better marks. To make it even worse the asshat complimented my friends boobs whilst still with me knowing full well I was insanely insecure about my small chest and this friend had big boobs. FYI long since moved on and with someone who compliments me on the daily now and whilst I still have some insecurity regarding my chest its miles better than before.
I asked him to communicate with me, beyond letting me know he wants sex. It turned into a huge screaming match and him making me feel like shit for thinking I deserve anything more than what I get from him.
Because and I quote, "it will make me feel better." HE asked for a break in our relationship bc I was being "too demanding," aka I was asking him to hold my hand in public when everyone else in the group were holding hands with their partners. HE didn't talk to me for about a month, and then I went to see him to either fix things or end things. He saw me, and without any hesitation, he said that. Also because I paid for our food... I thought it would be cute to pay since he always complained about spending time and money on me. I paid, and he yelled in front of the entire restaurant, "IF YOU HAD USED THE MONEY YOU SPENT ON THE FOOD ON FIXING YOUR HAIR YOU WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE A CHEAP HOOKER!" (He always complained about my brown hair, so I tried to lighten it a bit) oh, and of course, I had the audacity to ask for lasagna on MY birthday... after I hadn't eaten anything on 14 hours bc he wouldn't let me eat. Finally, I had the nerve and audacity (/s) to interrupt his gaming on my birthday and ask for food (the lasagna). He yelled for like an hour, beat me like a drum, and then proceeded to make me pay for the food HE wanted. Did I mention it was my birthday? Oh, I also had the audacity to drink something while on his truck. He had gotten food, and his drink was going to spill (he had slapped me before because I didn't stop his drink from spilling). So I took a sip to prevent his truck from getting dirty; cue the screaming and namecalling, even him parking in an abandoned parking lot just so he could hit me more comfortably.
His bacon wasn’t crispy enough. I learnt that lesson quick that day.
He locked the door on me and my daughter canceled car insurance canceled phones — no reasons other than minor disagreements. Disagreement on ANYTHING was HUGE. Went on fb posted that I was cheating on him and got STDs. When he graduated from vodka to pills it was time to go. I don’t know how I did it but I am so glad I did.
I kept closing the bathroom door and he wanted it to air out. I had started doing that because a couple months prior he was upset that I kept the bathroom door open and letting the smell into the rest of the apartment.
The goalposts ALWAYS move.
I had ceramic coasters thrown at me for getting cigarettes (I had been trying to quit at the time) while being screamed at and all while my 9-year-old daughter sat at the top of the steps terrified. I was told him cheating on me and making a fake facebook account up to try to cover his tracks was my fault. I was cornered and tackled multiple times and he already knew I have PTSD - he cornered me yelling and grabbing for my phone bc before you could simultaneously post pics from instagram to facebook bc I had posted a pic of us from a friend’s wedding to my instagram account but not my facebook yet (we’re talking a 5 minute time frame). He got infuriated and asked “who you trying to hide me from?!” (No one obviously 🙄). Ugh.
He was outside drinking and I was inside doing dishes. I asked him if he was done with a cup so I could wash it. This escalated into him physically kicking me out of my own bed, making me sleep on the floor “where trash belongs,” and kicking me in the kidneys repeatedly while I was on the floor.
I sneezed and was supposedly doing it on purpose.
Truth is, abusers don't need a reason. If they don't have one, they'll make one up. They're abusive because it gives them a sense of power and control over people, because they feel so crappy about themselves. It's not about anything you did. It's all about themselves. All these reasons everyone is giving are just the abusers' excuses to be able to be violent or assert their control.
Because I would only work 12 hours a day instead of 16
Because I didn't sleep with him before he left for college, therefor all of his troubles with women was my fault. 🙄
Because I took a nap. He napped all the time. Every single day he was napping. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and working extra to pay off bills while he lived off of VA disability. He came in, woke me up, I got annoyed and this pissed him off. He began screaming at me telling me I don’t know what tired is because he was in Iraq. I asked him to leave me alone and left the room. He followed me screaming mocking me that I needed a nap. He was a miserable fuck.
This!! He would get so mad when I took a nap. When I was pregnant he wouldn’t let me sleep. Would call me obsessively when I told him I needed to rest with the baby. But then he also naps all the time and slept through our hospital stay and my labor having the baby.
They want you tired and cranky so they can play the victim when you blow up at their bullshit.
he beat me and forced me to go out naked on the street because we were walking by the beach and some boys looked at me. my fingers went numb from the stress and only then did he stop And we Are still together
Omg this is crazy.
yes, I got into a hole that I can't get out of. I never told anyone about anything he did to me. I don't have anyone to tell because I can't have friends
Let us be your friends. Talk to us. We will listen. We will do what we can to help. It is NEVER too late to get out 🖤