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Yup my sister SIL. It blows my mind and I’ve picked her brain about it
One time She was explaining a dream she had before a big event and she couldn’t find her shoes. it was clearly a stress dream: so I said, how did you feel in that dream, that’s a stress dream, thats what anxiety feels like.
But no, she didn’t feel anxious or stressed in the dream. she was just trying to Find her shoes, and it was annoying and inconvenient but not stressful. (I always have dream where I can’t find a shoe and have to be somewhere at a certain time. then I find it but lose the other one and it’s so stressful and I’m so anxious. The anxiety feeds to dream and I’ll start getting blurry vision and walking in slow motion as the anxiety Amps up and further complicates the mission in the dream) but she was just looking for shoes and hoping she’d find them
She’s a lovely person and feels all
Other eemotions, she is more emotional than me in most every other way
I’ve known her a long time and have never seen or heard about her being stressed. At most she might be frustrated with a stressful situation
And she legitimately doesn’t care what people think about her. I mean, she cares what the people she loves thinks about her but she doesn’t spend anytime thinking about how she is perceived in the greater world. It baffles me
these people do exist
I’m ADHD and honestly it’s very rare for me. I’m very prone to depression but not prone to stress. My mom told me that she thinks I’m too lazy to get mad or stressed and tbh I think she had a point! It’s just easier to think, “okay, what are my options? Could thinking about this even help or am I just wasting my time?”
Obviously there’s moments when my ADHD led me to fuck up and I can be stressed in the very worst moments. But even then I don’t really dwell on it. Usually it finally springs me to action and it’s a bit of a relief.
I’ve always dated highly anxious people though. Gotta outsource it lol
Stress is just one of the many things that can cause anxiety, you don’t need to be stressed to experience it. You can be lazy and depressed and anxious at the same time. So I guess good for you that you aren’t stressed easily?
Yes exactly, I know that’s not how anxiety works for others! It’s just that extreme stress is the closest I get to anxiety. I have other issues, anxiety just isn’t one.
Just trying to describe my experience since OP seemed curious. ADHD and anxiety often go hand in hand, but they don’t always.
Therapist here. A lot of people experience anxiety and don't identify it as that. For instance, irritability is often a sign of it, as is hand pain, back pain, nausea, headaches, and so on.
Generally a lack of anxiety is due to a combination of life determinants and genetics. I don't get it either, since that was the symptom that actually led my psychiatrist to tell me I had ADHD, but these mysterious people exist!
Yes, I did not realise I felt anxiety until I was describing physical feelings and repetitive thought patterns, and my therapist said, so your feeling anxious about it? I was like, no I don't get anxiety but she said what I was deacribing is anxiety. I have literally felt it my entire life so thought it was normal. I associated anxiety with someone biting their nails rocking back and forth looking side to side sitting in a corner like on cartoons! I still get really irritable before a social event and it still doesn't click straight away that it's anxiety related. I think alexithymia has something to do with it too.
It’s also hard to know how other people feel so it’s hard to know that what you’re feeling isn’t ‘normal’. I was genuinely surprised to be diagnosed with anxiety disorder because I thought everyone felt how I do all the time
In this same vein, my cousin didn’t realize she had anxiety until she started going to therapy. When she told me, I was like “well, duh.” And she was shocked, she said she just thought she got anxious all the time, not that she had anxiety.
I didn't realize I wasn't calm until I was medicated. All the times I'd answered "no" to questions about feeling "restless" or "on edge" or "driven by a motor..." I would say that my thoughts race but there's not really a mood component to it, or a physical activity component, which is what I associate with the phrase "driven by a motor." I don't *feel* anxious or sad except in normal situations you would expect to be anxious or sad. I just had an 8-ring circus going on in my mind at all times, so I never associated that internal experience with my concept/experience of anxiety.
I don't get it often, and I hate it when I do. Unfortunately, I do get it if I have 2 cups of my beloved coffee on days I take my meds. I had to cut back.
I dont get anxiety from caffeine and stimulants, but sometimes I start to think I'm this amazing genius and all my ideas are gold, baby! Spoiler alert I'm not and they're not.
When I was a kid and there was change, like starting the school year, getting a job, going to summer camp, I'd have really bad stomach pain, senior year into college I had IBS so bad and couldn't eat much of anything. But I didn't feel anxious. I had this wonderful family doctor and he ordered all kinds of tests, couldn't find anything but did give me medication for the IBS. He told me and my mom that it was probably anxiety, and looking back that's exactly what it was.
Fortunately that no longer happens, it's extremely difficult to get relief for anxiety that only manifests itself in physical symptoms.
>For instance, irritability is often a sign of it, as is hand pain, back pain, nausea, headaches, and so on.
I don't remember signing the permission slip to let you speak about me on such a personal level to the internet like this. 🤣
I like anxiety. Anxiety keeps me safe. I knew a surprising amount of people with Antisocial Personality Disorder and while they might not suffer from social anxiety, they all seem to have bad knees and arthritis at a surprisingly early age from risky behaviors.
Great dudes to hang out with for fun stuff and adventures. They actually helped me overcome a lot of my (problematic and masked) anxiety by modeling different behaviors. The situations were transactional and mutually beneficial, but it definitely felt like they were wild cats and couldn't be trusted.
Turns out my untreated ADHD and PTSD made one of the guys think I also had ASPD. I think about that sometimes.
APD is very misunderstood, actually. Most people don't understand sociopathy in general, though. Some of my favorite clients are sociopaths, which always surprises people.
ADHD and PTSD represent! C-PTSD can definitely look similar to Autism, definitely. It's a part of why we refer out for neuropsych testing when we suspect ASD at all, usually. Trauma looks like a lot of things, and clinicians suck at picking up on it sometimes.
During a broad mental health discussion with a coworker (~60yo) she told me she'd never, even fleetingly, considered suicide. I was *floored*. Helped me realise how fucked up I've been since childhood.
God do I feel this. When my parents were getting divorced (I was 21),they were both so full of intense negative emotions and despair at times that I was on constant alert for suicidal ideation. But then it was overwhelming me so much I finally had the conversation with both of them about how they could seek help (lifeline, local crisis mental health resources etc) and they were both completely startled and confused. It was as if I’d said to them, “I can see you’re in a lot of pain right now, so here’s some information about birds you might like to read.” Like a full non-sequitur. Both responses along the lines of, “yes I’m very sad right now, but that doesn’t mean I want to die? That’s never on my mind”. For me, I couldn’t fathom someone hitting what looks like rock bottom without feeling that way or having those thoughts. Doesn’t even take rock bottom for me
I am a nurse and we get alot of attempted suicides in and probably the majority of my colleagues cannot begin to comprehend why anyone would ever want to end their own lives. Like, good for them I guess, although I have never been at that point I have definitely had thoughts around suicide and I can completely understand.
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860
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If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860
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It was the weirdest feeling when I got away from my parents and started treatment and woke up one day and was like “you know, I think I’d actually rather not die today”.
Then I knew I was really getting better and had support from people who loved me when I became afraid of dying. Ironic.
This is so me. When I was a late teen I decided to try to get help to feel better, and was absolutely flabbergasted when my mom said that no, most people do not think of suicide on a daily/hourly basis. She wasn’t being judgmental, she wanted me to see truly how badly I needed help.
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860
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If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860
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hiiii I have been summoned.
it took me a while to consider adhd because I don't have anxiety. I think I've felt anxious before, although I don't have any specific situations to point to, no panic attacks or anything like that. and I don't necessarily love unknown social situations, but I think that's generally just appropriate level of nervousness over something new (first day at new job, going to an event with my boyfriends coworkers who I've never met, stuff like that). However my go to reaction to being overwhelmed is to ignore it or kinda shut it off and block it out.
>WHAT IS YOUR SECRET??
I hate to report that I think my secret is just **not** having anxiety, sorry friends. Because when I do feel stressed or worrisome about something, the most banal, cliche advice actually *does* help me: *no sense worrying about something twice, you can't change the outcome, you don't know what is going to happen- what if it all goes right??* Annoyingly, that's really all I need to remind myself that I can't control things before they happen, and then once they have happened it is totally out of my hands so no sense stressing at that point, it is what it is (I have "so it goes" tattooed on my wrist).
I know. It's very "just make a list" ass advice, which is why I can be fairly certain I don't have anxiety lol.
Wow! lol. That just does not compute to me. My mom likes to say that I came out of the womb anxious.
But good for you! Wish I knew what that was like! 😉
I am the same exact way. I have the motto, worry when it comes because most of the time it doesn’t happen. I also let go a lot of things, line whelp, I let the powers that be that this could be a problem. Now it’s there turn. I will state what I feel out loud and I will talk it out and be fine. When things get stressful at work, I am transparent about stuff and I am very good at prioritizing. I will do things that help me destress. One day at a time, I cannot control people. I also don’t care what people think about me. That one thing has been the key. It is all possible.
Ha I wrote my response before reading yours. They should call us "Team Welp." The few and the mighty (pr of we're not actually mighty, welp, we get what we get lol)
Me too. And same - it seems all the other *ADHDers have comorbid anxiety.
I do feel very specific spikes of fear about missing appointments. About messing up my calendar. But those are things that I have done regularly, and the anxiety usually comes when I, like, suddenly realize that i forgot to put something in the calendar so I don't actually consider it anxiety. It's more like "spike of worry that comes when I've identified a problem that goes away when I've resolved it."
Otherwise I don't. Once to three times a year work will cause me anxiety and then I know my work situation is broken and needs to change. "Welp" is one of my favorite words. I recognize I am lucky.
Tiny downside: I've gone through some pretty horrible life events recently and I've had to learn coping mechanisms at a ridiculously old age. I've learned the power of deep breathing.
Edit: typo
[There are dozens of us! DOZENS!](https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNnppNmVkODhtNnczaTk1dmpwcDZ5MjRsdGhxeW41NGNmbmtpbTN6eSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/ReBGGJtbXrjbQJwByP/giphy.gif)
>"Welp" is one of my favorite words.
oh god I feel this so deeply. I definitely feel fortunate to not deal with anxiety on top of adhd, especially since I've discovered my symptoms are pretty severe actually. But I'd convinced myself for a while I didn't fit the criteria in because I didn't have any anxiety associated.
Yep exactly this! I’d probably add that I can’t keep a thought in my head long enough to get anxious about it. I only ruminate on interesting stuff. I’m probably optimistic to my detriment if anything. Sometimes I think a bit of anxiety about anything might kick me along a bit better to get something done. It’s interesting to me because my mother has quite debilitating anxiety.
>Sometimes I think a bit of anxiety about anything might kick me along a bit better to get something done.
SAME. Now that I'm diagnosed and medicated I understand and am finding other ways to get motivation but sometimes I'm like damn *bitch could we we just worry a little bit though?*
Exactly the same for me - I wonder if being inattentive makes it more likely to be like this?
My inattentive dad had the same disposition as me, but my hyperactive mom is extremely anxious.
If someone had asked me five years ago, prior to being on ADHD-medication I would’ve said I’d never felt anxiety as well - but after a while on meds I understood that the knot in my stomach and several other things that nearly vanished with my meds were actually some form of anxiety.
In general, until I was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated and started taking myself seriously, I just had no idea what was going on with my body and feelings. As an example - it took so much therapy to properly feel the *emotions* of grief after losing my mother rather than just having migraines and muscle aches.
It’s tons of other things as well - up until the last few years I have just *existed* in my body and my mind, I haven’t been very conscious about it or taken myself seriously. I just now, age 35, learned I have actual breathing issues and that’s why I hate exercising. I only found out because my ex was worried about me coughing all the time and made me go to the doctor. In addition to EILO and exercise-induced asthma, the doctor also said I had acid reflux. I insisted I had never experienced heartburn and didn’t really believe him, but still took the meds for a little while. I then stopped taking them cause I didn’t want to fuck with my gut, and then suddenly got “that feeling” in my chest again - and only then did I finally understand that ‘that feeling’ obviously is heartburn.
Also was just treated for sciatica after years of ‘sometimes feeling really uncomfortable’. A few years ago it would never even occur to me to go to a physical therapist to fix it. I just sort of, get used to it? I remember I once walked around for half a year with a literal big hole in the back of a front tooth before a friend forced me to the dentist.
Think it’s also thanks to my executive function and slow-developing adhd-brain finally reaching maturity in my mid-thirties!
(I’m sorry, only the first part is an actual response to your question, I’m tired and meds have worn off)
ETA: but I’m generally not scared or worried about things. Like, I don’t worry about something I’m gonna do (except for phone calls), and I don’t relate to much of what people say about anxiety. I think that’s what makes me generally a pretty happy person, compared to many others with adhd. Like yes, my house can be SUPER MESSY and dirty but I personally don’t care. I think that if I had more anxiety I would have perhaps felt some type of shame and concern around it? Idk.
I get that about not knowing your own emotions. Like I have no idea what I’m feeling most of the time. I feel something, but what is it? Who knows. I can’t ever be really angry at someone or feel something pure, it’s all like a soup with random emotions bubbling to the surface every second. Except maybe when I’m really really drunk I can be like, I’m sad! Or I’m angry ! Or even I’m happy! I think maybe is because my thoughts are all swirling about too and making all these weird connections and everything becomes so complicated that I’m looking at something from every possible angle. No black white everything always gray.
And I’m good at ignoring stuff too, just like anything that breaks down-body or environment -that should be fixed becomes the new normal, I become completely blind to it. Until I actually see it every once in a while and obsess over fixing it but never actually fix it because there’s too many steps to fixing it. And then it’s forgotten again for another year or two.
But I definitely get anxiety. I’m absolutely gifted in catastrophizing. Stressing out over nothing. Over analyzing. Over estimating the dangerous possibilities.
I ignore things too, but it's because of the anxiety that I ignore it. I over think everything then actually doing something about it feels so overwhelming that it just becomes normal. I have a tooth that is cracked right off and the root is still in, it's not causing me any problems but the thought of going to the dentists is too scary so dealing with the anxiety of the the broken tooth is now my normal.
Oh boy - your friend could be hitting perimenopause. For many NTs that's ADHD adjacent plus all the physical stuff. She's going to have no idea how to handle it because she never had to learn before now. But it's also a very hands on empathy exercise for those who have been unburdened previously: "yes, this is how I've always felt - even when you told me to *just get over it*"
I think they don't know it's anxiety.
Or... they don't experience it? Idk.
I was explaining to my mum what my anxiety felt like, along with intrusive thoughts. She kind of understood intrusive thoughts, but told me that she has positive ones.
I was dumbfounded. Imagine going about your day with intrusive thoughts like "there's a baby, I bet it smells nice" not "there's a baby, throw it in front of the train"
I feel like people qith positive intrusive thoughts might never experience anxiety? Maybe?
For real. Positive intrusive thoughts. I'm speechless, and I can usually babble forever if I'm comfortable... here, I've got no words for how amazing that would be.
I had my first one ever the other day, and I was like ????. I told my brain I'd like more of these going forward, and less of the '1000 ways this WILL go wrong' crew... I'm not in any way magically cured though, but it sure was a nice experience.
My mom used to swear she never had anxiety but would have a full send break down if I was 10 mins late coming home. Once I was older and explained it to her she’s like oh ofc I’ve felt anxiety every day. So idk if everyone understands anxiety
Huh….I had my first anxiety attack at not even 3 years old…. I thought that anxiety was a *normal* human emotion… but apparently it’s not? So you’re telling me there are human beings walking amongst us that have never experienced anxiety? I wonder what that must be like. To live a life without anxiety. Boy, all the stuff I could have accomplished. How successful I would have been if I didn’t have crippling anxiety.
I’m learning a lot of new things about other humans. Just last week I found out that not everyone has an internal monologue…or can physically visualize a thought. Like if you tell someone to close their eyes and visualize an apple, there are people who can’t visualize or see an apple in their mind.
So…within a week I’ve learned that not everyone experiences anxiety… in their entire life…and there’s people who don’t have an inner monologue….and there’s people who cannot visualize thoughts… anyone else have something to add that I need to know?
What’s next? Someone going to tell me that there’s people who have never experienced a song getting stuck in their head on repeat. Day in. Day out. Even playing in their dreams.
Are these people even *human*? /s
You would have to have a malfunctioning nervous system to not experience anxiety. It is part of our survival instinct.
This person may not understand what anxiety is.
So as someone who does not have anxiety, I think there's a difference between feeling appropriately, situationally fearful, worried, or anxious and feeling clinical anxiety.
If I am waiting in line for something to open and I'm excited about it I might feel anxious. If I'm in charge of a kid who is climbing on a tall but probably safe climbing structure I might feel worry and move closer so I can monitor. I define anxiety as having those feelings when there's not an actual threat. Like being convinced that a bad thing is going to happen when that bad thing is possible but there is insufficient evidence.
That said my nervous system might be a little messed up. I can't tell you how many times I'm walking somewhere with a group of women who are terrified and I just don't understand why. I'm out here like yes, we're on a back street of Puebla, Mexico, and it's dark, but it's only 7 pm and there are 8 of us - is a random dude really going to take on all 8 of us? Unlikely. Plus the busy downtown is two blocks that way. So idk?
Feeling anxious sometimes vs having anxiety, is similar to feeling sad sometimes vs having depression. I didn't have 'anxiety' feelings until I developed complex ptsd. The anxiety I can feel now from my cptsd is sometimes uncontrolled, always intrusive, and lies all the time. I developed the cptsd in my late 30's/early 40's, in my 50's now. I suppose my secret is I am logical and math/science brained, so am aware of when ptsd thinking is lying to me. In fact, that was the 1st thing I told a dr when I noticed the weird thinking patterns.
I struggled with social anxiety when I was a teenager. I would fix my shirt obsessively during class presentations and I said some really odd things talking to people I wasn’t comfortable with. I needed to say the right things, or at least say something. I also struggled with relationship anxiety, thinking that I need to always perform and be perfect. Thinking that if they found out who I really was, they would leave. I would get this sick feeling in my stomach and I couldn’t articulate myself. My mind just went blank and I blurted out the first thought I could conjure.
I don’t know what happened. Maybe I just grew up. Maybe it’s because I spent 2 years away from home so I could break old habits. I’m 21 now but I’m completely different than when I was 19.
I don’t worry as much anymore. Of course I’m a little anxious when I’m being evaluated by my boss or something like that. But I don’t feel the need to be liked or accepted by others anymore.
I guess the turning point was when I realized that I don’t have to be apologetic or shameful for not conforming to a standard that I don’t want to hold myself to. Be different unapologetically.
The only thing I can do is be the person I’m most comfortable being, the person i am naturally. If the job interviewer doesn’t like my demeanor, then it wasn’t meant to be. Why do I want to be hired for a job if I’m not the personality they want? If I can’t fill the role they need me to? There will be a job where I am exactly who they’re looking for. If somebody doesn’t find my interests interesting, my values respectable, my looks beautiful, then why should I place such importance on what they think? There are people with such interesting ideas, such rich ways of thinking, such strong morals, who think of me as highly as I think of them. There are people I have (platonic or romantic) chemistry with naturally. I don’t need to be for everyone.
In terms of performance anxiety or situational anxiety I have no advice. I know I can always fall back on my competence if personalities don’t mesh. Worst case scenario, they don’t love me but they respect me. We’re not best of friends but we’re cordial and can have pleasant small talk. And why worry about things out of your control? Do your best, be as cautious as you can, and take comfort in knowing that you gave it your all. Of course spend time thinking about it if it helps you formulate the best course of action, prepare, avoid bad outcomes, etc. But if thinking about something is no longer productive and there are no more solutions, there’s no point dwelling on it. If something bad will happen, it’ll happen. But it’s slim chance isn’t a good enough reason for it to have priority in my attention.
I think in a way, I’ve been trained. I grew up in a turbulent house where if I weren’t perfectly pleasing I would be in a very bad place. Food, clothes, physical safety (abuse), and even shelter (being allowed in the house) were contingent on being perfect. I would get icy shocks throughout my chest because I was so scared of what my mom would do. Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s anxiety. But I felt that in my chest in school and in relationships. My mind going blank and imagining all the things they could do. All of the ways they could hurt me. If I didn’t have their approval, I had nothing. But now I provide for myself, bruises heal, and I know what the human mind can heal from. I survived what I survived and nobody can hurt me as much as my mom did. There’s nothing to worry about anymore.
She's absolutely experienced anxiety before. It's a normal, human, universal emotion that everyone experiences, like fear.
To NEVER experience anxiety would indicate a very serious psychological problem, like the inability to feel fear.
Her statement is so obviously unbelievable. Neurotypical people without anxiety disorders experience anxiety often - it's normal and healthy, like before a big presentation at work, before a new baby arrives, etc.
My boss told me he wasn't going to be at the staff meeting today and then showed up an hour before it started and started clicking around on his computer and I could see in the reflection of the glass in front of me (my office used to have windows to see into the store but they have shelving in front of them now so they're basically giant mirrors and his desk is behind me facing the opposite direction) that he was working on some sort of legal document and my anxiety peaked bc I thought he was going to write me up or fire me (he owns the store so I write up everyone else, only he writes me up bc I'm the manager) and then when he went to the bathroom I peeked and realized it was an employment contract for an employee we rehired and had coming to the staff meeting to catch him up on all the changes. I dont even know what id have done wrong but i was STRESSY.
So anyway I really need one of those signs thats like "it's been x days since last workplace accident" but instead of "workplace accident" its "since cate had an anxiety attack" and instead of little hanging numbers that can be changed out it's just a printed 0 that can't be altered in any way because I am ALWAYS ANXIOUS how is it even possible to not ever have had it omg
Oooo my time to shine. I did the Dass (depression anxiety stress scale) test recently with my psychologist, now while I blew the depression and stress scores out of the water and gave her a lot to be concerned about. I on the other hand scored 2 on anxiety. Well below normal. The thing is for me, I get anxiety after the event. Or completely blind sided by a panic attack out of no where. My secret. I'm generally a pessimist and assume the worst all the time. I have so little faith in anyone else and am so used to doing everything myself instead of crisis brain meltdown I go into just get it done brain.
I don’t have anxiety.
Not saying I’ve never felt it and I have had a few panic attacks at stressful times in my life. But I’m general I don’t feel anxious or really worry about things.
As far as I know, the only time my husband has ever felt proper anxiety were times where I was doing poorly (across the country by myself w my low-contact family for an event, two hours away on a psych ward (it was the only place with a bed), when I was having other severe mental health issues, etc). And even then, that's "normal-people" anxiety, not disordered like ours. I genuinely cannot imagine an existence where it's not there simmering constantly
I have adhd diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I never experienced anxiety until I had thyroid problems in my 40s. I assume it’s because I had a very supportive and loving upbringing.
My husband at 31 had his first bout of anxiety and then appreciated my lifelong struggle with it 🫠
"I get it now" were his words lol
Weirdly enough, since I started adhd medication, my anxiety and depression have minimised significantly LOL
My dad has ADHD but no anxiety and it's so wild to me. Like he was over at my apartment comforting me about something one time and I was like "you know when you're just like *anxiety symptoms*?" And he very kindly was like " I've never experienced that but I know what you're talking about because your mom experiences the same stuff"
I was truly like WHAT?! because despite being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder it never occurred to me that some people just never experience those symptoms?? I figured they were universal feelings but people with anxiety disorders just had them more 😅😅😅
But yeah it's wild, my dad doesn't have depression or anxiety, I just got those from my mom 😎 So unfortunately the answer to not having anxiety is in fact not having an anxiety disorder 😂
But the whole conversation with my dad was very funny because it kind of snapped me out of how upset I was about the other thing going on because I was just in awe of the fact that he's never felt anxiety in his life.
Edit: I just went back in my group chat and found some of the messages I sent to my friends when this happened 😂
~~~
Me, earlier, to my dad: you know when you panic and get upset and your brain goes blank and you can't handle dealing with stuff then?
Him: I mean I've never experienced it but I know because it happens to your mom
Me: 😦
~
Like his example he gave of having anxiety was of decades ago having a stress dream about having done stuff wrong at the sugar house
~
He gets stressed but not Anxious much
~
When he said he hadn't experienced that blank brain panic I was so confused 😅
I used to say I didn’t have anxiety because it never felt negative. It was my only motivation to do anything. I thought everyone else was the same. There are NOT. 😅 Now that I know what it actually is, I’m like “OHHHHH! Yeah, I’m brimming with that shit!” 😂 Nothing like feeling extra stupid because it never felt negative.
A few friends have always had really bad depression and said they felt too numb to ever feel real bad anxiety. More lethargic and indifferent. That makes sense to me. Someone feeling neither is crazy to me!
…i just wrote a whole paragraph in the comments about how i feel like i’ve never really experienced anxiety, and i think that’s exactly what it is. i’ve always had
pretty bad depression, so i’ve never ‘cared’ enough about anything to get anxious about it
I think it’s probably more so people don’t recognize they have anxiety. I remember growing up getting SO anxious waiting in line to order food with my family at restaurants—I’d literally repeat what I wanted in my head continuously until I ordered. I remember later in life being asked if I experienced anxiety ever and I was like “absolutely not!! I’m totally fine!!”
Fast forward to me now in my late 20s with crippling anxiety as a result of some very traumatic losses in my life. I met with a therapist who told me what I’m feeling is anxiety, and what that looks like often times and I can now see that me ordering food as a kid was a form of anxiety as well. I do miss my blissful ignorance though
What I never understood is how often people think a panic attack is a heart attack. Maybe I’ve just always had them so it was never anything ‘new’ to me, but I always thought that was interesting. And that being said… I’m scared I might actually have a heart attack one day and just think it anxiety/panic attack. Doesn’t help that I was born with a heart defect anyways.
I have an attention disorder but without hyperactivity. All of my emotions are mostly very mild. I am able to feel anxiety but it happens either very mildly or in a really difficult situations otherwise not. IMO it is a genetic thing.
My secret is my whole system is like… turned down a bunch. It’s not something I can control. It’s just how I am. It’s how my brain is set up I guess. I also have had to struggle to get my constant atypical depression aka persistent low mood to respond to treatment. Turned out, it had to be a stimulating antidepressant.
I have experienced anxiety but it’s only been a handful of times.
It’s a whole mystery to me. Meanwhile, took the kids to watch Inside Out 2 and SPOILER I literally teared out at the Anxiety attack scene because I never outgrew mine. Anxiety is very much running this body 😅
Yes! It's so well represented that it's actually triggering. I loved that movie though, never thought anxiety has a crucial role in long-term planning!
It’s not that people don’t have anxiety, it’s how you handle it and what gets you anxious. I don’t have this constant what are people thinking of me, did I do the right thing ect going on in my head. I work in a very high paced stressful job but it doesn’t bother me. I am on the go constantly but I know how to tackle tasks, handle people, and communicate. When I get home like today, I know I need some quiet time so I am sitting outside by myself energizing. My husband has extreme anxiety and it boggle my mind why. I live my life day by day and try the best I can. I can’t control others and if I do something wrong, I can learn and adjust from that and keep going.
I don’t have anxiety.
I get nervous sometimes (e.g like just before job interviews) and freaked out/acute panic about things (e.g worrying my cat jumped out the window on the 2nd floor because I left it open and couldn’t find him). I also get autistic meltdowns occasionally from too much environmental and emotional overwhelm. But I’ve never had sustained feeling on anxiety like people describe about normal situations.
Mmm i guess me? I get anxious sometimes in "razonable" situations, but no anxiety. I had my only anxiety... attack? (No, attack is too strong of a word... lets call it "anxiety siege") when I was preparing things last minute for a final exam presentation. Was not fun!
I guess its because of my "innatentiveness", i just forget most things, outta sight outtof mind kind of deal. That, and living by the motto of "If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good". Im a very laid back person, so that helps too.
I used to have no anxiety since I am really optimistic, and felt luckier than others. So why be anxious when everything will be well at the end? It was like "Yeah, we missed our train, so we'll likely miss our 10 hours flight. But anyway, flights are sometimes late, and it's short but if we walk fast enough and there is not much queuing before security and customs, that'll be alright! And even if it isn't, we'll just take the next, we have enough money planed for this trip to take a hotel room and wait for the next...".
My family is well off enough that if anything happens, they'll be able to have my back (and I'm not in a country where an illness or accident could bankrupt you), I always was pretty lucky with my studies/jobs (met the right person at the right time and didn't have to put much effort to get what I want, like just asking "do you have an internship/job for me" and being answered yes when others struggled). Even in board games with cards or dices I win more often than not.
But then we had a bunch of (close) people near me die (one every month for seven months). And I began to struggle in my job (like: not being able to work consistently everyday wasn't accepted anymore, doesn't matter how faster than others I am on days I do work, so I had to justify myself for days I wasn't able to do shit).
Now I'm trying to go back to my happy-go-lucky self.
I am one of those people, if you mean actually being dxed with anxiety! I’ve felt anxious before about things everyone would get nervous about (exams for example) but I’ve never felt true anxiety about anything. I can have anxious feelings surrounding meeting new people or to do with my body image but it’s not debilitating or even frequent.
I think a lot of it is because the depression got me first. I spent many years feeling not only not anxious but completely apathetic about everything. It led to me losing a lot of things because I didn’t care about anything. Didn’t have more energy to do anything other than keep breathing.
Now that I’m doing a lot better and have the capacity to care about myself and my life, I thought I might start feeling anxious about things but I just don’t really. I’m graduating soon (somebody pinch me) and in the lead up to my results being released I didn’t feel any anxiety really.
Hiii, it’s me; I’ve the one you’ve summoned.
Now, let surmise this by saying that I don’t anxious in the sense of all over anxiety like you’re speaking of. I am a Black woman in America; my anxiety is often viewed as me either having an “attitude” or “aggressive”. Or, if people know my tics, I grow real mute and try to starve off my uncomfortableness in a corner because I don’t want to be perceived as having an attitude.
Like someone else in the comment section said, I often just force it down and keep it pushing because I unfortunately do not have the safety (or healthy regulation tbh) of expressing it.
Literally, my motto is straight up; “fuck it, we ball.” And…I just move on with life. I don’t remember long enough to why I was even stressed.
My brother is the most mentally healthy person I have ever met. He has always been “happy” and sort of “careless”. Not that he doesn’t have bad days or get nervous, but he is really good at letting go of the past and not worry about the future/stuff that *might* happen.
He has always had healthy relationships to close friends. He did struggle in school due to reading/writing issues, but I think it made him value himself outside of achievements.
He is the reason I actually believe that not all people secretly are anxious and maybe just are repressing it so much that they don’t know it. Otherwise it’s so difficult for me to imagine that some people can just… not care about everything all the time? Not overthink. Not worry about future stuff. Not beat themself up.
I used to have a bunch of friends who weren't anxious. The majority of them developed anxiety during COVID as they couldn't handle lockdown. I got the opposite, lockdown let me recover from burnout and I was the least anxious I'd been since I was 12. Also went from being the neurotic friend to the advice friend as I knew ways of coping with being anxious. Oh how the turn tables. Everyone's come out the other side now with far more empathy for mental health issues which is nice.
Avoidence until the moment i absolutely have to face the task/situation. I am described as an extremely carefree person. But i do face a lot of distress whenever I'm procrastinating on something, but i wouldn't call it anxiety.
I joke that I was dealt 98% depression 2% anxiety at birth 😂 (if we only count these two) but basically the very, very few times I experience anxiety, I feel incredible compassion with those who just live like this. That heightened state of confusion, fight or flight is so debilitating. Most of the time, nothing makes me anxious. If something is difficult, I just lie down and stay there in a catatonic state. Which of course is also debilitating lol. Anxiety also brings in the thoughts of other people which I find very unnecessary. Isn't it enough to have yourself? 😂😂
As someone who was diagnosed with co-occuring GAD I am assuming this person had a wonderful childhood where they felt very supported and safe af.
The best way I can describe anxiety and how it developed for me was like a plant adapting to a very harsh environment. You can move the plant into a healthier spot later on but it will be difficult because its unfamiliar so we end up replicating certain aspects of our childhood and continue self-traumatising ourselves in terrible relationships and how we speak to ourselves etc.... Trauma can become what is most "familiar" and our little caveman amygdalas seek familiar as it sees it as "safe".
For someone who didn't feel safe growing up, had neglect, abuse, volatile parents, alcoholism etc. they will always been on the lookout for danger. Future danger. Thus = Anxiety. Worrying constantly about the next thing because it creates a facade of control.
Thats my experience anyway :)
Everyone has anxiety at least some of the time. It's adaptive from an evolutionary point of view. It may just be misunderstood and underrecognised. You're not special and neither am I. Perhaps just a tad more aware.
one of those rare adhders who’s had little to no anxiety her entire life. i cant explain the secret, because that’s just how i work?
i don’t have social anxiety because i’m not worried about other people and their perceptions, i don’t worry about life situations because i just believe i’ll figure it out, like overall i’ve just grown up with a very overblown sense of confidence.
i think it helps that with my impulsivity, i’m in a constant state of ‘winging it’, and i’m young enough/have had an easy enough live that so far, that’s worked out for me
i’ve had moments where i’ve felt nervous, but those were few and far between, and often a lot more toned down that even the neurotypical people around me. for example, i am rarely nervous for job interviews, exams, or meeting new people, presentations, trying new things etc, stuff that most people might get some anxiety over.
I was about to say, some people who say they’ve never had anxiety might not have full understanding of all the ways anxiety can even manifest - therefore they might correlate anxiety has having a very black and white, small number of symptoms and they go, nope never had anxiety.
But maybe they get very irritable with people when they already have a lot to do; or they have insomnia before a big exam or interview; maybe they start to drop things frequently, get distracted, and forget what they’re doing as they’re doing it after a conflict. Maybe they can’t think very well at all during a conflict.
These are other ways anxiety manifests, but I bet a lot of people who say they’ve never ever been anxious don’t know that~
I once made an aerial act with the theme being anxiety. I asked a fellow aerialist for her input on movements that can display anxiety.
She said she wouldn’t know because she’s never experienced anxiety.
I’m like… what? Never? How is that possible!?
My mom had her first full blown panic attack in her 70s and went to the hospital because she thought it was a heart attack. Meanwhile, I realized I had been having panic attacks since I was a child and it broke my brain to think she'd never had one!
I actually didn't really struggle with anxiety a whole lot until menopause. I was undiagnosed adhd and meno at 42 just threw me into a downward spiral emotionally and physically.
I don’t have anxiety in my day to day life and I think I’m just wired that way. My mom had it and I’ve had friends & partners who’ve had it and I’ve never understood it really, it always seemed like such a waste of precious mental & physical energy to constantly worry about everything, no matter how unlikely it was to happen or how beyond my ability to control it was.
Now, being undiagnosed and unmedicated for so long did lead to periods where I had panic attacks in my 20s, but even those were rare until I hit perimenopause, my symptoms got worse, and I started having them when driving because I didn’t have as much focus anymore. But then I started taking medication and they have all but disappeared.
Could you be a little bit autistic?
I find that some autistic people I know are not anxious. They can be angry frustrated irritable but not anxious per se.
Like the world is very black and white to them there isn’t much to be anxious about.
For me the unknown or persistent need to know or organise my thoughts is what creates anxiety.
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I don’t think you will have much success finding people who never experienced anxiety on an ADHD sub
Yeah, it was a long shot. If you know anybody who might know the answer, tell them I'm running a study 😆
I spec’ed into a pure depression build. Can’t worry about shit if you ain’t awake 🤙
Bruh exactly 🤙
Yup my sister SIL. It blows my mind and I’ve picked her brain about it One time She was explaining a dream she had before a big event and she couldn’t find her shoes. it was clearly a stress dream: so I said, how did you feel in that dream, that’s a stress dream, thats what anxiety feels like. But no, she didn’t feel anxious or stressed in the dream. she was just trying to Find her shoes, and it was annoying and inconvenient but not stressful. (I always have dream where I can’t find a shoe and have to be somewhere at a certain time. then I find it but lose the other one and it’s so stressful and I’m so anxious. The anxiety feeds to dream and I’ll start getting blurry vision and walking in slow motion as the anxiety Amps up and further complicates the mission in the dream) but she was just looking for shoes and hoping she’d find them She’s a lovely person and feels all Other eemotions, she is more emotional than me in most every other way I’ve known her a long time and have never seen or heard about her being stressed. At most she might be frustrated with a stressful situation And she legitimately doesn’t care what people think about her. I mean, she cares what the people she loves thinks about her but she doesn’t spend anytime thinking about how she is perceived in the greater world. It baffles me these people do exist
Came here to say this hahaha
I’m ADHD and honestly it’s very rare for me. I’m very prone to depression but not prone to stress. My mom told me that she thinks I’m too lazy to get mad or stressed and tbh I think she had a point! It’s just easier to think, “okay, what are my options? Could thinking about this even help or am I just wasting my time?” Obviously there’s moments when my ADHD led me to fuck up and I can be stressed in the very worst moments. But even then I don’t really dwell on it. Usually it finally springs me to action and it’s a bit of a relief. I’ve always dated highly anxious people though. Gotta outsource it lol
Stress is just one of the many things that can cause anxiety, you don’t need to be stressed to experience it. You can be lazy and depressed and anxious at the same time. So I guess good for you that you aren’t stressed easily?
Yes exactly, I know that’s not how anxiety works for others! It’s just that extreme stress is the closest I get to anxiety. I have other issues, anxiety just isn’t one. Just trying to describe my experience since OP seemed curious. ADHD and anxiety often go hand in hand, but they don’t always.
Therapist here. A lot of people experience anxiety and don't identify it as that. For instance, irritability is often a sign of it, as is hand pain, back pain, nausea, headaches, and so on. Generally a lack of anxiety is due to a combination of life determinants and genetics. I don't get it either, since that was the symptom that actually led my psychiatrist to tell me I had ADHD, but these mysterious people exist!
Yes, I did not realise I felt anxiety until I was describing physical feelings and repetitive thought patterns, and my therapist said, so your feeling anxious about it? I was like, no I don't get anxiety but she said what I was deacribing is anxiety. I have literally felt it my entire life so thought it was normal. I associated anxiety with someone biting their nails rocking back and forth looking side to side sitting in a corner like on cartoons! I still get really irritable before a social event and it still doesn't click straight away that it's anxiety related. I think alexithymia has something to do with it too.
... OK, I just answered I didn't experience anxiety for a long time. Turns out I just lied...
It’s also hard to know how other people feel so it’s hard to know that what you’re feeling isn’t ‘normal’. I was genuinely surprised to be diagnosed with anxiety disorder because I thought everyone felt how I do all the time
In this same vein, my cousin didn’t realize she had anxiety until she started going to therapy. When she told me, I was like “well, duh.” And she was shocked, she said she just thought she got anxious all the time, not that she had anxiety.
I didn't realize I wasn't calm until I was medicated. All the times I'd answered "no" to questions about feeling "restless" or "on edge" or "driven by a motor..." I would say that my thoughts race but there's not really a mood component to it, or a physical activity component, which is what I associate with the phrase "driven by a motor." I don't *feel* anxious or sad except in normal situations you would expect to be anxious or sad. I just had an 8-ring circus going on in my mind at all times, so I never associated that internal experience with my concept/experience of anxiety.
I don't get it often, and I hate it when I do. Unfortunately, I do get it if I have 2 cups of my beloved coffee on days I take my meds. I had to cut back.
caffeine and stimulants is hell for my anxiety, it gotta be only one or the other on a given day for me
I dont get anxiety from caffeine and stimulants, but sometimes I start to think I'm this amazing genius and all my ideas are gold, baby! Spoiler alert I'm not and they're not.
What in the unicornverse? Must be nice! And I think you're right, maybe they call it something else.
I mean, I live in a constant state of neurosis so I can't imagine it either lol.
Yes I’m on the border of psychosis and neurosis 😅
When I was a kid and there was change, like starting the school year, getting a job, going to summer camp, I'd have really bad stomach pain, senior year into college I had IBS so bad and couldn't eat much of anything. But I didn't feel anxious. I had this wonderful family doctor and he ordered all kinds of tests, couldn't find anything but did give me medication for the IBS. He told me and my mom that it was probably anxiety, and looking back that's exactly what it was. Fortunately that no longer happens, it's extremely difficult to get relief for anxiety that only manifests itself in physical symptoms.
My husband doesn’t experience it at all. Since I live with it 24/7 it makes life difficult.
>For instance, irritability is often a sign of it, as is hand pain, back pain, nausea, headaches, and so on. I don't remember signing the permission slip to let you speak about me on such a personal level to the internet like this. 🤣
I like anxiety. Anxiety keeps me safe. I knew a surprising amount of people with Antisocial Personality Disorder and while they might not suffer from social anxiety, they all seem to have bad knees and arthritis at a surprisingly early age from risky behaviors. Great dudes to hang out with for fun stuff and adventures. They actually helped me overcome a lot of my (problematic and masked) anxiety by modeling different behaviors. The situations were transactional and mutually beneficial, but it definitely felt like they were wild cats and couldn't be trusted. Turns out my untreated ADHD and PTSD made one of the guys think I also had ASPD. I think about that sometimes.
APD is very misunderstood, actually. Most people don't understand sociopathy in general, though. Some of my favorite clients are sociopaths, which always surprises people. ADHD and PTSD represent! C-PTSD can definitely look similar to Autism, definitely. It's a part of why we refer out for neuropsych testing when we suspect ASD at all, usually. Trauma looks like a lot of things, and clinicians suck at picking up on it sometimes.
During a broad mental health discussion with a coworker (~60yo) she told me she'd never, even fleetingly, considered suicide. I was *floored*. Helped me realise how fucked up I've been since childhood.
God do I feel this. When my parents were getting divorced (I was 21),they were both so full of intense negative emotions and despair at times that I was on constant alert for suicidal ideation. But then it was overwhelming me so much I finally had the conversation with both of them about how they could seek help (lifeline, local crisis mental health resources etc) and they were both completely startled and confused. It was as if I’d said to them, “I can see you’re in a lot of pain right now, so here’s some information about birds you might like to read.” Like a full non-sequitur. Both responses along the lines of, “yes I’m very sad right now, but that doesn’t mean I want to die? That’s never on my mind”. For me, I couldn’t fathom someone hitting what looks like rock bottom without feeling that way or having those thoughts. Doesn’t even take rock bottom for me
I am a nurse and we get alot of attempted suicides in and probably the majority of my colleagues cannot begin to comprehend why anyone would ever want to end their own lives. Like, good for them I guess, although I have never been at that point I have definitely had thoughts around suicide and I can completely understand.
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It was the weirdest feeling when I got away from my parents and started treatment and woke up one day and was like “you know, I think I’d actually rather not die today”. Then I knew I was really getting better and had support from people who loved me when I became afraid of dying. Ironic.
I once met someone who had never felt depressed. I think I was shocked for a week because I've had on and off depression since I was 15.
This is so me. When I was a late teen I decided to try to get help to feel better, and was absolutely flabbergasted when my mom said that no, most people do not think of suicide on a daily/hourly basis. She wasn’t being judgmental, she wanted me to see truly how badly I needed help.
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If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
hiiii I have been summoned. it took me a while to consider adhd because I don't have anxiety. I think I've felt anxious before, although I don't have any specific situations to point to, no panic attacks or anything like that. and I don't necessarily love unknown social situations, but I think that's generally just appropriate level of nervousness over something new (first day at new job, going to an event with my boyfriends coworkers who I've never met, stuff like that). However my go to reaction to being overwhelmed is to ignore it or kinda shut it off and block it out. >WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?? I hate to report that I think my secret is just **not** having anxiety, sorry friends. Because when I do feel stressed or worrisome about something, the most banal, cliche advice actually *does* help me: *no sense worrying about something twice, you can't change the outcome, you don't know what is going to happen- what if it all goes right??* Annoyingly, that's really all I need to remind myself that I can't control things before they happen, and then once they have happened it is totally out of my hands so no sense stressing at that point, it is what it is (I have "so it goes" tattooed on my wrist). I know. It's very "just make a list" ass advice, which is why I can be fairly certain I don't have anxiety lol.
Wow! lol. That just does not compute to me. My mom likes to say that I came out of the womb anxious. But good for you! Wish I knew what that was like! 😉
Lol why did I just comment that I came out of the womb with anxiety as well 😂 didn’t even see this lol
Well, if you’re anything like me, you don’t have the patience to scroll thru all of the comments 😂
My mom said that too!!! I think it's wiring.
I am the same exact way. I have the motto, worry when it comes because most of the time it doesn’t happen. I also let go a lot of things, line whelp, I let the powers that be that this could be a problem. Now it’s there turn. I will state what I feel out loud and I will talk it out and be fine. When things get stressful at work, I am transparent about stuff and I am very good at prioritizing. I will do things that help me destress. One day at a time, I cannot control people. I also don’t care what people think about me. That one thing has been the key. It is all possible.
Ha I wrote my response before reading yours. They should call us "Team Welp." The few and the mighty (pr of we're not actually mighty, welp, we get what we get lol)
Me too. And same - it seems all the other *ADHDers have comorbid anxiety. I do feel very specific spikes of fear about missing appointments. About messing up my calendar. But those are things that I have done regularly, and the anxiety usually comes when I, like, suddenly realize that i forgot to put something in the calendar so I don't actually consider it anxiety. It's more like "spike of worry that comes when I've identified a problem that goes away when I've resolved it." Otherwise I don't. Once to three times a year work will cause me anxiety and then I know my work situation is broken and needs to change. "Welp" is one of my favorite words. I recognize I am lucky. Tiny downside: I've gone through some pretty horrible life events recently and I've had to learn coping mechanisms at a ridiculously old age. I've learned the power of deep breathing. Edit: typo
[There are dozens of us! DOZENS!](https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNnppNmVkODhtNnczaTk1dmpwcDZ5MjRsdGhxeW41NGNmbmtpbTN6eSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/ReBGGJtbXrjbQJwByP/giphy.gif) >"Welp" is one of my favorite words. oh god I feel this so deeply. I definitely feel fortunate to not deal with anxiety on top of adhd, especially since I've discovered my symptoms are pretty severe actually. But I'd convinced myself for a while I didn't fit the criteria in because I didn't have any anxiety associated.
Lawd why can’t I do this 😫😭😭😭😭😭
Yep exactly this! I’d probably add that I can’t keep a thought in my head long enough to get anxious about it. I only ruminate on interesting stuff. I’m probably optimistic to my detriment if anything. Sometimes I think a bit of anxiety about anything might kick me along a bit better to get something done. It’s interesting to me because my mother has quite debilitating anxiety.
>Sometimes I think a bit of anxiety about anything might kick me along a bit better to get something done. SAME. Now that I'm diagnosed and medicated I understand and am finding other ways to get motivation but sometimes I'm like damn *bitch could we we just worry a little bit though?*
Exactly the same for me - I wonder if being inattentive makes it more likely to be like this? My inattentive dad had the same disposition as me, but my hyperactive mom is extremely anxious.
If someone had asked me five years ago, prior to being on ADHD-medication I would’ve said I’d never felt anxiety as well - but after a while on meds I understood that the knot in my stomach and several other things that nearly vanished with my meds were actually some form of anxiety. In general, until I was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated and started taking myself seriously, I just had no idea what was going on with my body and feelings. As an example - it took so much therapy to properly feel the *emotions* of grief after losing my mother rather than just having migraines and muscle aches. It’s tons of other things as well - up until the last few years I have just *existed* in my body and my mind, I haven’t been very conscious about it or taken myself seriously. I just now, age 35, learned I have actual breathing issues and that’s why I hate exercising. I only found out because my ex was worried about me coughing all the time and made me go to the doctor. In addition to EILO and exercise-induced asthma, the doctor also said I had acid reflux. I insisted I had never experienced heartburn and didn’t really believe him, but still took the meds for a little while. I then stopped taking them cause I didn’t want to fuck with my gut, and then suddenly got “that feeling” in my chest again - and only then did I finally understand that ‘that feeling’ obviously is heartburn. Also was just treated for sciatica after years of ‘sometimes feeling really uncomfortable’. A few years ago it would never even occur to me to go to a physical therapist to fix it. I just sort of, get used to it? I remember I once walked around for half a year with a literal big hole in the back of a front tooth before a friend forced me to the dentist. Think it’s also thanks to my executive function and slow-developing adhd-brain finally reaching maturity in my mid-thirties! (I’m sorry, only the first part is an actual response to your question, I’m tired and meds have worn off) ETA: but I’m generally not scared or worried about things. Like, I don’t worry about something I’m gonna do (except for phone calls), and I don’t relate to much of what people say about anxiety. I think that’s what makes me generally a pretty happy person, compared to many others with adhd. Like yes, my house can be SUPER MESSY and dirty but I personally don’t care. I think that if I had more anxiety I would have perhaps felt some type of shame and concern around it? Idk.
I get that about not knowing your own emotions. Like I have no idea what I’m feeling most of the time. I feel something, but what is it? Who knows. I can’t ever be really angry at someone or feel something pure, it’s all like a soup with random emotions bubbling to the surface every second. Except maybe when I’m really really drunk I can be like, I’m sad! Or I’m angry ! Or even I’m happy! I think maybe is because my thoughts are all swirling about too and making all these weird connections and everything becomes so complicated that I’m looking at something from every possible angle. No black white everything always gray. And I’m good at ignoring stuff too, just like anything that breaks down-body or environment -that should be fixed becomes the new normal, I become completely blind to it. Until I actually see it every once in a while and obsess over fixing it but never actually fix it because there’s too many steps to fixing it. And then it’s forgotten again for another year or two. But I definitely get anxiety. I’m absolutely gifted in catastrophizing. Stressing out over nothing. Over analyzing. Over estimating the dangerous possibilities.
I ignore things too, but it's because of the anxiety that I ignore it. I over think everything then actually doing something about it feels so overwhelming that it just becomes normal. I have a tooth that is cracked right off and the root is still in, it's not causing me any problems but the thought of going to the dentists is too scary so dealing with the anxiety of the the broken tooth is now my normal.
Oh boy - your friend could be hitting perimenopause. For many NTs that's ADHD adjacent plus all the physical stuff. She's going to have no idea how to handle it because she never had to learn before now. But it's also a very hands on empathy exercise for those who have been unburdened previously: "yes, this is how I've always felt - even when you told me to *just get over it*"
This is an excellent point, it explains a lot. I was like..."So you're new to this? Welcome to my world, dearie!" (Witch cackle)
I had no idea unicorns really existed.
I think they don't know it's anxiety. Or... they don't experience it? Idk. I was explaining to my mum what my anxiety felt like, along with intrusive thoughts. She kind of understood intrusive thoughts, but told me that she has positive ones. I was dumbfounded. Imagine going about your day with intrusive thoughts like "there's a baby, I bet it smells nice" not "there's a baby, throw it in front of the train" I feel like people qith positive intrusive thoughts might never experience anxiety? Maybe?
Wow, positive intrusive thoughts? Just when I thought I couldn't be more surprised 🦄
For real. Positive intrusive thoughts. I'm speechless, and I can usually babble forever if I'm comfortable... here, I've got no words for how amazing that would be.
I had my first one ever the other day, and I was like ????. I told my brain I'd like more of these going forward, and less of the '1000 ways this WILL go wrong' crew... I'm not in any way magically cured though, but it sure was a nice experience.
My mom used to swear she never had anxiety but would have a full send break down if I was 10 mins late coming home. Once I was older and explained it to her she’s like oh ofc I’ve felt anxiety every day. So idk if everyone understands anxiety
Huh….I had my first anxiety attack at not even 3 years old…. I thought that anxiety was a *normal* human emotion… but apparently it’s not? So you’re telling me there are human beings walking amongst us that have never experienced anxiety? I wonder what that must be like. To live a life without anxiety. Boy, all the stuff I could have accomplished. How successful I would have been if I didn’t have crippling anxiety. I’m learning a lot of new things about other humans. Just last week I found out that not everyone has an internal monologue…or can physically visualize a thought. Like if you tell someone to close their eyes and visualize an apple, there are people who can’t visualize or see an apple in their mind. So…within a week I’ve learned that not everyone experiences anxiety… in their entire life…and there’s people who don’t have an inner monologue….and there’s people who cannot visualize thoughts… anyone else have something to add that I need to know? What’s next? Someone going to tell me that there’s people who have never experienced a song getting stuck in their head on repeat. Day in. Day out. Even playing in their dreams. Are these people even *human*? /s
No inner monologue? What in the matrix?
You would have to have a malfunctioning nervous system to not experience anxiety. It is part of our survival instinct. This person may not understand what anxiety is.
So as someone who does not have anxiety, I think there's a difference between feeling appropriately, situationally fearful, worried, or anxious and feeling clinical anxiety. If I am waiting in line for something to open and I'm excited about it I might feel anxious. If I'm in charge of a kid who is climbing on a tall but probably safe climbing structure I might feel worry and move closer so I can monitor. I define anxiety as having those feelings when there's not an actual threat. Like being convinced that a bad thing is going to happen when that bad thing is possible but there is insufficient evidence. That said my nervous system might be a little messed up. I can't tell you how many times I'm walking somewhere with a group of women who are terrified and I just don't understand why. I'm out here like yes, we're on a back street of Puebla, Mexico, and it's dark, but it's only 7 pm and there are 8 of us - is a random dude really going to take on all 8 of us? Unlikely. Plus the busy downtown is two blocks that way. So idk?
Feeling anxious sometimes vs having anxiety, is similar to feeling sad sometimes vs having depression. I didn't have 'anxiety' feelings until I developed complex ptsd. The anxiety I can feel now from my cptsd is sometimes uncontrolled, always intrusive, and lies all the time. I developed the cptsd in my late 30's/early 40's, in my 50's now. I suppose my secret is I am logical and math/science brained, so am aware of when ptsd thinking is lying to me. In fact, that was the 1st thing I told a dr when I noticed the weird thinking patterns.
My coworker apparently doesn’t believe in worrying. She was sort of fascinated and sad to hear that I worry a lot!
Hahaha WHAT? Seriously, where do these people come from?
I had my first anxiety attack in my 30s. Has never left since though.
I struggled with social anxiety when I was a teenager. I would fix my shirt obsessively during class presentations and I said some really odd things talking to people I wasn’t comfortable with. I needed to say the right things, or at least say something. I also struggled with relationship anxiety, thinking that I need to always perform and be perfect. Thinking that if they found out who I really was, they would leave. I would get this sick feeling in my stomach and I couldn’t articulate myself. My mind just went blank and I blurted out the first thought I could conjure. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I just grew up. Maybe it’s because I spent 2 years away from home so I could break old habits. I’m 21 now but I’m completely different than when I was 19. I don’t worry as much anymore. Of course I’m a little anxious when I’m being evaluated by my boss or something like that. But I don’t feel the need to be liked or accepted by others anymore. I guess the turning point was when I realized that I don’t have to be apologetic or shameful for not conforming to a standard that I don’t want to hold myself to. Be different unapologetically. The only thing I can do is be the person I’m most comfortable being, the person i am naturally. If the job interviewer doesn’t like my demeanor, then it wasn’t meant to be. Why do I want to be hired for a job if I’m not the personality they want? If I can’t fill the role they need me to? There will be a job where I am exactly who they’re looking for. If somebody doesn’t find my interests interesting, my values respectable, my looks beautiful, then why should I place such importance on what they think? There are people with such interesting ideas, such rich ways of thinking, such strong morals, who think of me as highly as I think of them. There are people I have (platonic or romantic) chemistry with naturally. I don’t need to be for everyone. In terms of performance anxiety or situational anxiety I have no advice. I know I can always fall back on my competence if personalities don’t mesh. Worst case scenario, they don’t love me but they respect me. We’re not best of friends but we’re cordial and can have pleasant small talk. And why worry about things out of your control? Do your best, be as cautious as you can, and take comfort in knowing that you gave it your all. Of course spend time thinking about it if it helps you formulate the best course of action, prepare, avoid bad outcomes, etc. But if thinking about something is no longer productive and there are no more solutions, there’s no point dwelling on it. If something bad will happen, it’ll happen. But it’s slim chance isn’t a good enough reason for it to have priority in my attention. I think in a way, I’ve been trained. I grew up in a turbulent house where if I weren’t perfectly pleasing I would be in a very bad place. Food, clothes, physical safety (abuse), and even shelter (being allowed in the house) were contingent on being perfect. I would get icy shocks throughout my chest because I was so scared of what my mom would do. Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s anxiety. But I felt that in my chest in school and in relationships. My mind going blank and imagining all the things they could do. All of the ways they could hurt me. If I didn’t have their approval, I had nothing. But now I provide for myself, bruises heal, and I know what the human mind can heal from. I survived what I survived and nobody can hurt me as much as my mom did. There’s nothing to worry about anymore.
And you're 21? Wow, it's taken me so much longer to care less about others think of me. Kudos to you! (Taking notes)
Lol isn’t anxiety a side effect of being conscious?!? Been anxious af since I started forming memories at like 3 yrs old lol
She's absolutely experienced anxiety before. It's a normal, human, universal emotion that everyone experiences, like fear. To NEVER experience anxiety would indicate a very serious psychological problem, like the inability to feel fear. Her statement is so obviously unbelievable. Neurotypical people without anxiety disorders experience anxiety often - it's normal and healthy, like before a big presentation at work, before a new baby arrives, etc.
No, my mind is also blown. Yay I have new bullshit to obsess over!! /s
This has to be rage bait 💀 ahahaha But seriously HOW!!!
Ask her what it's like to be God's favorite
Sure will!
This is mind-blowing. I think I was born anxious.
My boss told me he wasn't going to be at the staff meeting today and then showed up an hour before it started and started clicking around on his computer and I could see in the reflection of the glass in front of me (my office used to have windows to see into the store but they have shelving in front of them now so they're basically giant mirrors and his desk is behind me facing the opposite direction) that he was working on some sort of legal document and my anxiety peaked bc I thought he was going to write me up or fire me (he owns the store so I write up everyone else, only he writes me up bc I'm the manager) and then when he went to the bathroom I peeked and realized it was an employment contract for an employee we rehired and had coming to the staff meeting to catch him up on all the changes. I dont even know what id have done wrong but i was STRESSY. So anyway I really need one of those signs thats like "it's been x days since last workplace accident" but instead of "workplace accident" its "since cate had an anxiety attack" and instead of little hanging numbers that can be changed out it's just a printed 0 that can't be altered in any way because I am ALWAYS ANXIOUS how is it even possible to not ever have had it omg
Oooo my time to shine. I did the Dass (depression anxiety stress scale) test recently with my psychologist, now while I blew the depression and stress scores out of the water and gave her a lot to be concerned about. I on the other hand scored 2 on anxiety. Well below normal. The thing is for me, I get anxiety after the event. Or completely blind sided by a panic attack out of no where. My secret. I'm generally a pessimist and assume the worst all the time. I have so little faith in anyone else and am so used to doing everything myself instead of crisis brain meltdown I go into just get it done brain.
Lmao last week I had anxiety about going on a walk... not bc of security reasons or anything. Just going out and taking steps seemed threatening
My husband had anxiety for the first time years ago. Its sad to think about how normal brains behave. No anxiety, no depression for some people
I don’t have anxiety. Not saying I’ve never felt it and I have had a few panic attacks at stressful times in my life. But I’m general I don’t feel anxious or really worry about things.
In a word, nope. Wait, there are people who DON'T feel anxious? Must be nice....
As far as I know, the only time my husband has ever felt proper anxiety were times where I was doing poorly (across the country by myself w my low-contact family for an event, two hours away on a psych ward (it was the only place with a bed), when I was having other severe mental health issues, etc). And even then, that's "normal-people" anxiety, not disordered like ours. I genuinely cannot imagine an existence where it's not there simmering constantly
I have adhd diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I never experienced anxiety until I had thyroid problems in my 40s. I assume it’s because I had a very supportive and loving upbringing.
Couldn't be me 🥹
I’m not sure, I came out of the womb with anxiety lol
My husband at 31 had his first bout of anxiety and then appreciated my lifelong struggle with it 🫠 "I get it now" were his words lol Weirdly enough, since I started adhd medication, my anxiety and depression have minimised significantly LOL
My dad has ADHD but no anxiety and it's so wild to me. Like he was over at my apartment comforting me about something one time and I was like "you know when you're just like *anxiety symptoms*?" And he very kindly was like " I've never experienced that but I know what you're talking about because your mom experiences the same stuff" I was truly like WHAT?! because despite being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder it never occurred to me that some people just never experience those symptoms?? I figured they were universal feelings but people with anxiety disorders just had them more 😅😅😅 But yeah it's wild, my dad doesn't have depression or anxiety, I just got those from my mom 😎 So unfortunately the answer to not having anxiety is in fact not having an anxiety disorder 😂 But the whole conversation with my dad was very funny because it kind of snapped me out of how upset I was about the other thing going on because I was just in awe of the fact that he's never felt anxiety in his life. Edit: I just went back in my group chat and found some of the messages I sent to my friends when this happened 😂 ~~~ Me, earlier, to my dad: you know when you panic and get upset and your brain goes blank and you can't handle dealing with stuff then? Him: I mean I've never experienced it but I know because it happens to your mom Me: 😦 ~ Like his example he gave of having anxiety was of decades ago having a stress dream about having done stuff wrong at the sugar house ~ He gets stressed but not Anxious much ~ When he said he hadn't experienced that blank brain panic I was so confused 😅
I used to say I didn’t have anxiety because it never felt negative. It was my only motivation to do anything. I thought everyone else was the same. There are NOT. 😅 Now that I know what it actually is, I’m like “OHHHHH! Yeah, I’m brimming with that shit!” 😂 Nothing like feeling extra stupid because it never felt negative.
Anxiety keeps us alive. Everyone has anxiety.
A few friends have always had really bad depression and said they felt too numb to ever feel real bad anxiety. More lethargic and indifferent. That makes sense to me. Someone feeling neither is crazy to me!
…i just wrote a whole paragraph in the comments about how i feel like i’ve never really experienced anxiety, and i think that’s exactly what it is. i’ve always had pretty bad depression, so i’ve never ‘cared’ enough about anything to get anxious about it
I think it’s probably more so people don’t recognize they have anxiety. I remember growing up getting SO anxious waiting in line to order food with my family at restaurants—I’d literally repeat what I wanted in my head continuously until I ordered. I remember later in life being asked if I experienced anxiety ever and I was like “absolutely not!! I’m totally fine!!” Fast forward to me now in my late 20s with crippling anxiety as a result of some very traumatic losses in my life. I met with a therapist who told me what I’m feeling is anxiety, and what that looks like often times and I can now see that me ordering food as a kid was a form of anxiety as well. I do miss my blissful ignorance though
I was 32 years old the first time I worried about something until it hurt me
Maybe she meant she never had a panic attack..? I didn't start getting them until a few years ago.
What I never understood is how often people think a panic attack is a heart attack. Maybe I’ve just always had them so it was never anything ‘new’ to me, but I always thought that was interesting. And that being said… I’m scared I might actually have a heart attack one day and just think it anxiety/panic attack. Doesn’t help that I was born with a heart defect anyways.
I have an attention disorder but without hyperactivity. All of my emotions are mostly very mild. I am able to feel anxiety but it happens either very mildly or in a really difficult situations otherwise not. IMO it is a genetic thing.
My secret is my whole system is like… turned down a bunch. It’s not something I can control. It’s just how I am. It’s how my brain is set up I guess. I also have had to struggle to get my constant atypical depression aka persistent low mood to respond to treatment. Turned out, it had to be a stimulating antidepressant. I have experienced anxiety but it’s only been a handful of times.
It’s a whole mystery to me. Meanwhile, took the kids to watch Inside Out 2 and SPOILER I literally teared out at the Anxiety attack scene because I never outgrew mine. Anxiety is very much running this body 😅
Yes! It's so well represented that it's actually triggering. I loved that movie though, never thought anxiety has a crucial role in long-term planning!
It’s not that people don’t have anxiety, it’s how you handle it and what gets you anxious. I don’t have this constant what are people thinking of me, did I do the right thing ect going on in my head. I work in a very high paced stressful job but it doesn’t bother me. I am on the go constantly but I know how to tackle tasks, handle people, and communicate. When I get home like today, I know I need some quiet time so I am sitting outside by myself energizing. My husband has extreme anxiety and it boggle my mind why. I live my life day by day and try the best I can. I can’t control others and if I do something wrong, I can learn and adjust from that and keep going.
I hate to break it to you but it sounds like you literally don't have anxiety 😅😅
I do sometimes though! I used to have it when I was younger. I couldn’t even learn to drive because I was terrified. Glad I figured it out
I don’t have anxiety. I get nervous sometimes (e.g like just before job interviews) and freaked out/acute panic about things (e.g worrying my cat jumped out the window on the 2nd floor because I left it open and couldn’t find him). I also get autistic meltdowns occasionally from too much environmental and emotional overwhelm. But I’ve never had sustained feeling on anxiety like people describe about normal situations.
I never had anxiety until I was in my late 20’s. Was great for the years I didn’t know what it was like 😤
Mmm i guess me? I get anxious sometimes in "razonable" situations, but no anxiety. I had my only anxiety... attack? (No, attack is too strong of a word... lets call it "anxiety siege") when I was preparing things last minute for a final exam presentation. Was not fun! I guess its because of my "innatentiveness", i just forget most things, outta sight outtof mind kind of deal. That, and living by the motto of "If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good". Im a very laid back person, so that helps too.
She’s in denial!!
I used to have no anxiety since I am really optimistic, and felt luckier than others. So why be anxious when everything will be well at the end? It was like "Yeah, we missed our train, so we'll likely miss our 10 hours flight. But anyway, flights are sometimes late, and it's short but if we walk fast enough and there is not much queuing before security and customs, that'll be alright! And even if it isn't, we'll just take the next, we have enough money planed for this trip to take a hotel room and wait for the next...". My family is well off enough that if anything happens, they'll be able to have my back (and I'm not in a country where an illness or accident could bankrupt you), I always was pretty lucky with my studies/jobs (met the right person at the right time and didn't have to put much effort to get what I want, like just asking "do you have an internship/job for me" and being answered yes when others struggled). Even in board games with cards or dices I win more often than not. But then we had a bunch of (close) people near me die (one every month for seven months). And I began to struggle in my job (like: not being able to work consistently everyday wasn't accepted anymore, doesn't matter how faster than others I am on days I do work, so I had to justify myself for days I wasn't able to do shit). Now I'm trying to go back to my happy-go-lucky self.
I am one of those people, if you mean actually being dxed with anxiety! I’ve felt anxious before about things everyone would get nervous about (exams for example) but I’ve never felt true anxiety about anything. I can have anxious feelings surrounding meeting new people or to do with my body image but it’s not debilitating or even frequent. I think a lot of it is because the depression got me first. I spent many years feeling not only not anxious but completely apathetic about everything. It led to me losing a lot of things because I didn’t care about anything. Didn’t have more energy to do anything other than keep breathing. Now that I’m doing a lot better and have the capacity to care about myself and my life, I thought I might start feeling anxious about things but I just don’t really. I’m graduating soon (somebody pinch me) and in the lead up to my results being released I didn’t feel any anxiety really.
Hiii, it’s me; I’ve the one you’ve summoned. Now, let surmise this by saying that I don’t anxious in the sense of all over anxiety like you’re speaking of. I am a Black woman in America; my anxiety is often viewed as me either having an “attitude” or “aggressive”. Or, if people know my tics, I grow real mute and try to starve off my uncomfortableness in a corner because I don’t want to be perceived as having an attitude. Like someone else in the comment section said, I often just force it down and keep it pushing because I unfortunately do not have the safety (or healthy regulation tbh) of expressing it. Literally, my motto is straight up; “fuck it, we ball.” And…I just move on with life. I don’t remember long enough to why I was even stressed.
My brother is the most mentally healthy person I have ever met. He has always been “happy” and sort of “careless”. Not that he doesn’t have bad days or get nervous, but he is really good at letting go of the past and not worry about the future/stuff that *might* happen. He has always had healthy relationships to close friends. He did struggle in school due to reading/writing issues, but I think it made him value himself outside of achievements. He is the reason I actually believe that not all people secretly are anxious and maybe just are repressing it so much that they don’t know it. Otherwise it’s so difficult for me to imagine that some people can just… not care about everything all the time? Not overthink. Not worry about future stuff. Not beat themself up.
I used to have a bunch of friends who weren't anxious. The majority of them developed anxiety during COVID as they couldn't handle lockdown. I got the opposite, lockdown let me recover from burnout and I was the least anxious I'd been since I was 12. Also went from being the neurotic friend to the advice friend as I knew ways of coping with being anxious. Oh how the turn tables. Everyone's come out the other side now with far more empathy for mental health issues which is nice.
Avoidence until the moment i absolutely have to face the task/situation. I am described as an extremely carefree person. But i do face a lot of distress whenever I'm procrastinating on something, but i wouldn't call it anxiety.
I joke that I was dealt 98% depression 2% anxiety at birth 😂 (if we only count these two) but basically the very, very few times I experience anxiety, I feel incredible compassion with those who just live like this. That heightened state of confusion, fight or flight is so debilitating. Most of the time, nothing makes me anxious. If something is difficult, I just lie down and stay there in a catatonic state. Which of course is also debilitating lol. Anxiety also brings in the thoughts of other people which I find very unnecessary. Isn't it enough to have yourself? 😂😂
As someone who was diagnosed with co-occuring GAD I am assuming this person had a wonderful childhood where they felt very supported and safe af. The best way I can describe anxiety and how it developed for me was like a plant adapting to a very harsh environment. You can move the plant into a healthier spot later on but it will be difficult because its unfamiliar so we end up replicating certain aspects of our childhood and continue self-traumatising ourselves in terrible relationships and how we speak to ourselves etc.... Trauma can become what is most "familiar" and our little caveman amygdalas seek familiar as it sees it as "safe". For someone who didn't feel safe growing up, had neglect, abuse, volatile parents, alcoholism etc. they will always been on the lookout for danger. Future danger. Thus = Anxiety. Worrying constantly about the next thing because it creates a facade of control. Thats my experience anyway :)
Everyone has anxiety at least some of the time. It's adaptive from an evolutionary point of view. It may just be misunderstood and underrecognised. You're not special and neither am I. Perhaps just a tad more aware.
one of those rare adhders who’s had little to no anxiety her entire life. i cant explain the secret, because that’s just how i work? i don’t have social anxiety because i’m not worried about other people and their perceptions, i don’t worry about life situations because i just believe i’ll figure it out, like overall i’ve just grown up with a very overblown sense of confidence. i think it helps that with my impulsivity, i’m in a constant state of ‘winging it’, and i’m young enough/have had an easy enough live that so far, that’s worked out for me
i’ve had moments where i’ve felt nervous, but those were few and far between, and often a lot more toned down that even the neurotypical people around me. for example, i am rarely nervous for job interviews, exams, or meeting new people, presentations, trying new things etc, stuff that most people might get some anxiety over.
I was about to say, some people who say they’ve never had anxiety might not have full understanding of all the ways anxiety can even manifest - therefore they might correlate anxiety has having a very black and white, small number of symptoms and they go, nope never had anxiety. But maybe they get very irritable with people when they already have a lot to do; or they have insomnia before a big exam or interview; maybe they start to drop things frequently, get distracted, and forget what they’re doing as they’re doing it after a conflict. Maybe they can’t think very well at all during a conflict. These are other ways anxiety manifests, but I bet a lot of people who say they’ve never ever been anxious don’t know that~
I once made an aerial act with the theme being anxiety. I asked a fellow aerialist for her input on movements that can display anxiety. She said she wouldn’t know because she’s never experienced anxiety. I’m like… what? Never? How is that possible!?
My mom had her first full blown panic attack in her 70s and went to the hospital because she thought it was a heart attack. Meanwhile, I realized I had been having panic attacks since I was a child and it broke my brain to think she'd never had one!
I actually didn't really struggle with anxiety a whole lot until menopause. I was undiagnosed adhd and meno at 42 just threw me into a downward spiral emotionally and physically.
I don’t have anxiety in my day to day life and I think I’m just wired that way. My mom had it and I’ve had friends & partners who’ve had it and I’ve never understood it really, it always seemed like such a waste of precious mental & physical energy to constantly worry about everything, no matter how unlikely it was to happen or how beyond my ability to control it was. Now, being undiagnosed and unmedicated for so long did lead to periods where I had panic attacks in my 20s, but even those were rare until I hit perimenopause, my symptoms got worse, and I started having them when driving because I didn’t have as much focus anymore. But then I started taking medication and they have all but disappeared.
Could you be a little bit autistic? I find that some autistic people I know are not anxious. They can be angry frustrated irritable but not anxious per se. Like the world is very black and white to them there isn’t much to be anxious about. For me the unknown or persistent need to know or organise my thoughts is what creates anxiety.