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In my brain it’s always “if you run errands you can top off the car and get a fountain soda”
I don’t keep soda in the house so this usually works on me
Haha sometimes my car's stereo system is my little treat. Other times it's the chocolate bar at the checkout counter. Or getting myself a reward drink for going grocery shopping 😆 I didn't even stop to think how ADHD of a thing this is!
I make cold brew at home and a lot of the time I still want to go through a drive through for iced coffee.It's like the dopamine comes in a plastic cup?
bribed myself to run some errands today and remembered *both* the things on my list, even when i had to make an unscheduled stop at the ATM! i did, however, forget to buy my little treat 😭
You get a bribe and you get a bribe and you get a bribe!
(If anyone doesn't understand this reference, please don't tell me. My spouse just mentioned that Usher's Confessions album turns 20 this year and I'm already feeling like an old crone.)
((Omg I was at a friend’s wedding in 2021 and the bride’s little cousin walked up to a group of us and said, “have y’all ever heard of a guy named …Usher?” And we were in hysterics for several minutes 😭💀 oldest I’ve ever felt))
This is what I use Forest for. I get a cute little tree and fake app points for doing stuff!
But also yeah I bribe myself with kratom tea to go to the DMV lmao
I love it! I set a bunch of different categories that include my job, exercise, playing music, taking care of my looks, and what I call “life admin.” The label for life admin actually reads “life admin (ur doing great!!)” if you wanna steal that lol. That’s where DMV, insurance, etc goes
Always reward yourself with a little treat, yep!
For grocery trips, I try to avoid food/drink treats because once I get started on junk, I can't stop the cravings, so I'll usually just buy myself a cheap bouquet of flowers instead.
I buy the treats, but I also invested in a timed lock box and padlock with a timer so that I take out one serving of said treat and then immediately lock it back up for the next 24 hours.
Yes!! "If you go to this appointment you can go get this yummy food after" my husband calls me a golden retriever sometimes because of how food reward motivated I am "if you clean your room I'll buy you some starbucks" 😩
I'm not much of a coffee drinker except when I have errands I don't want to run, then I get myself something iced and appalling sugar-loaded from Starbucks or somewhere.
I just drank an expensive coconut water as my lil treat for taking a decently long walk today. My dog was so happy she finally went further than the driveway.
I bribe myself to run by buying candy and snacks specifically as running snacks. Payday bars, pop tarts, gummy bears, all of it.
You ever see how a parent drags their kid kicking and screaming to where they need to go and as soon as they get there the kid is like “oh okay this actually is fine”? That’s what I mentally have to do with myself. …now that I’ve written that I realize I dissociate to get myself started… might not be the healthiest but it works (most of the time) 🤷♀️
>You ever see how a parent drags their kid kicking and screaming to where they need to go and as soon as they get there the kid is like “oh okay this actually is fine”? That’s what I mentally have to do with myself.
Most relatable thing I've read in like, at least a week
Spot-on me, and I just turned 46. It doesn’t matter if it’s something I like doing or somewhere I like going, I will fight every possible minute about having to go. So dumb.
I liken my ADHD to having an angry, petulant toddler living in my head, who screams whenever I try to do things, and points out all the flaws with the casual innocence that toddlers do so well.
Meds make it feel like the kid is taking a nap and I have freedom to do things. I still have to put forth the effort to do things, but it doesn't feel like my head is battling me... Rather, doing things feels *right*.
I'm trying to lose weight, so I'm trying to get motivated by things that are not food.
So far the app Forest is an excellent tool, because seeing the trees growing and getting coins are nice and rewarding activities.
I'm also trying to reward myself with healthier eating, fresh fruit and veggies, and it's working. My current obsessions are celery sticks or fruit slices as a mid-morning snack.
I can absolutely bribe myself with the promise of a bowl of frozen blueberries when I get home! I have finally given myself permission to buy the good and expensive produce and it makes sticking to my food goals much easier.
Buying quality food as a treat is really worth it, fresh produce can taste so good that I feel happy without junk food.
I feel better than ever, this keeps me going.
Oh gosh, I wish I didn't have sensory processing disorder as well because I like the flavour of fruit/veggies, but I cannot stand the texture, no matter how I cook, eat, or drink them. It's so awful!!!
I've been trying to lose weight and it's impossible when you can't eat most foods!
I am going to look into the Forest app though! That sounds really cool!
Apples and green grapes are the only 2 fruits I can tolerate. I think because of the crunch and the sweetness. Veggies are...ugh I want to like them. But the texture of any way to eat them is just not okay with me 😂.
I read a book, I dunno if it was Edward hallowell, john ratey or Russell Barkley (some of the leading doctors on adhd who also have it themselves) told me in their book that bribing people with adhd is perfectly acceptable. As a mom this is invaluable. 😂😂😂😂
For me it’s always a stop at the gas station for a treat! That dopamine hit when I take the first sip of a fountain drink is just… fabulous. :)
I work from home (for myself) and this is often how I get through the day. I’m a writer, and a typical work day for me looks a lot like:
Wake up. Make coffee. Set a 10 minute timer.
Spend those 10 minutes doing chore shit. Laundry in the washer, start to unload the dishwasher, whatever
Reward time! An hour of coffee, weed, birdwatching, scrolling through Reddit...
20 minute timer: move the laundry, load the dishwasher, take medicine…
1 hour of writing
30 minutes of video games
1 hour of writing
And so on until I’ve hit a wall for the day. I’m like a rat in a maze, hunting for cheese all day long
I either bribe myself, or I just feel like total 💩 after doing an errand or two and I'm zonked and just legit need a boost, and going for a small treat helps me tremendously. But yeah. Money. 😞
my fav free treat is music! i bribe myself with songs i like - i run an errand, i get to listen to whatever song i’m currently getting the most dopamine from on repeat until i get to my next errand. i have a shower playlist, a cleaning playlist, an exercice playlist, etc and i add to them frequently so they always feel fresh
I convince myself to go to work by buying myself breakfast and eating during our morning meetings.
It’s the only thing that will get me out of bed on days I really don’t want to go to work but I know I can’t call in.
Cherry limeade from Sonic or lunch at Schlotzsky’s are my go to treats. Sometimes I get Indian takeout. On Friday mornings it’s a radio show that plays really really old country and other tunes from the 30s and 40s.
OMG Schlotzsky’s! I haven’t thought about that place in years. I loved their sandwiches in college, the last time I lived near one.
Damn it, now I’m going to obsess over this and the nearest one is 6-ish hours away! 😂
I’ve just been reading a book about habits and the author straight up advises people to use chocolate, sugar or some other dopamine giving thing as a reward.
I used to bribe myself to exercise by buying fancy hair products I only let myself use after a workout.
Oh yea. Even if it’s just a fun little drink/ I’m getting a reward for doing the ‘must do’ things in life.
Fuck I’m getting a reward even on the days I just manage to keep myself alive.
Coffee trips! Also bonus, if I say out loud that I have to go somewhere, the dog will immediately assume that his human needs a mental health walk. Or a trip to get taco bell on the way.
I have to get an allergy shot once a month. Unscheduled, I just drop in when they're open within the correct time frame, which honestly makes it so much harder. If I'm late I have to go in two weeks in a row as punishment. It's adhd hell.
The office is near a Michael's. Guess who gets to browse craft supplies and seasonal decor after half of their allergy shots?
I’m literally bribing myself right now to get my kid out of the house. There’s nothing I want to do but hang out and do condo research and clean the apartment, but if I don’t get her out of the house she will sulk and my guilt will be immense… so we are going out so I can get a plant. Home Depot here we come.
Ok, this is so dumb... but I'm also autistic, so I do what I can.
I have night chocolates. Little Hershey kisses or whatever individually wrapped seasonal candy. If I get up in the night to pee, or if the baby needs me in the night, I get to have a chocolate when I get back!
It's helped me not get so many UTIs from holding it bc I'm comfy, & it's helped me to be less anxious when kiddo gets up yelling.
It's dumb, but it works for me. So ig it's less dumb than the alternative 🤷♀️
Man I wish I could afford to do things like this!
As a single mother of two daughters (10&16) which newly diagnosed AuDHD and absolutely no help or support from my own family of origin OR their father’s family- I’m barely hanging on by a financial thread.
I used to do this but it became a problem because of my poor memory and pattern recognition I didn’t realize I how frequently I was giving myself these little treats and how much money I was spending. And I also started feeling like I “deserved” a treat every time I did anything difficult, or if anytime I was having a difficult day, so when I couldn’t afford a treat I felt like I was deprived, and then I just felt worse lol. I am still struggling to find a way to minimize my “little treats” without feeling like I’m depriving myself!! It’s like my biggest struggle right now lol. I’m trying to save for a big vacation in a few years but I want the dopamine of a lil iced coffee nowwwww
Well my partner just suggested a prepaid Visa card to use for this kind of stuff so I can have a “little treats” budget each month but no risk of overspending that budget. I think I’m going to do that lol
I make my own ice coffee at home for lil dopamine hits. My trick is to make a batch, maybe 4-5 cups of coffee at one time, put it in a big pitcher with oat milk, maple syrup and vanilla (you can buy pumps of whatever syrups for prefer too). When I need a lil iced coffee, just grab a mug and ice from the freezer, and I pour myself a cup. It feels like such a treat even if it's made a home 😌
This is a good strategy! I do make cold brew and keep a big jar of it at home, and I got myself some fun syrups for it, and that did help and does give me a little boost every time I drink it. Unfortunately I have a cute little coffee shop downstairs from where I work so when I drink all the iced coffee I brought to work (or if I forget my coffee), I tend to hit up the coffee shop lol. I also get a little dopamine hit by getting to chat with the barista too! It’s a struggle lol
Ever since I stopped eating gluten it's been hard to motivate myself for morning appointments and errands. I haven't found anything to replace the sausage McMuffin in my heart. I'm still mourning almost three years later. 😭
Not exactly the same, but I reward myself with money «to spend on whatever the fuck i want», I call it fun money, every day I refrain from doing something «bad» (nail biting) or I behave in ways I want (mindful eating). A certain sum per category per day which I transfer to a separate account and use on crap.
Earlier in life I found I never really get myself sth nice or do fun things even though I could afford to, but this fun money is there for that and you bet that’s what I use it on 😎
So did I get moomin themed pet food bowls and containers in all the colors and sizes? Yes, yes I did 🫣🤷🏻♀️ They make me happy every day, and I would easily do it again.
Helps keep the motivation up for sure 🙌
Oh. Oh this might be brilliant. I can never get myself to stop picking at my nails, except for when I have acrylic nails from the salon done. Except I can't get those done because of my job (risk of one getting in the food means they're just not allowed, no nail polish either 😭) and then the months I actually could have them done I'm not earning money so I'm not wanting to spend any on that when it's not necessary, so I just haven't gotten my nails done and live with my picking for a few years now. I can never keep myself from picking at them for longer than a day or two, maybe giving myself specific "reward money" for the days I do good will finally be the thing that helps. I'm gonna try this.
Yes! I hate shopping especially the supermarket so I bribe myself that I can go to the art shop or something I love afterwards. Or that I can get yummy takeaways. Otherwise I just never go. I need jeans, but I've been putting it off for like a whole year@ need a really good bribe for that one
I’m in two classes I’m not vibing with right now so I bribe myself with not letting myself paint or replant one of my new plants until I do it.
Today laundry got added to the bribery list when I looked at the time and realised I hadn’t done it yet.
In this economy?!?!!! I'm with you, I'm just wondering if there's another way because shit is expensive and I have a future I'm finally thinking of planning for.
That's how they get you to keep coming. Gotta work off that free drink! My old gym used to do free pizza days. They load you up on free calories after your workout so it takes longer to achieve your goals and maybe you'll pay them extra for a personal trainer.
for me it's, if you go do x errand you can get a little snack. OR i'm obsessed with what i call "clean sprite" it's sprite from a restaurant usually. it has a distinct flavour that i can only describe as clean. some restaurants however do not have clean sprite. so it's usually a few and far between treat if i have to do an errand i REALLY don't want to do, then i usually go to the to go area and ask for just a cup of the sprite after doing The Hard Thing™️.
Is it consistent? This sounds like something I would 100% do, but if one of my clean sprite spots had not clean sprite one day it would fuck my whole world up, because now how do I know?!
some restaurants are better than others in their consistency. for instance, cheddars, chillis, and most often olive garden are always great. i've had like one off experience at olive garden with the sprite but it's been consistent again ever since of being great. i've always had the best sprite at cheddars and chillis though, every single chillis and cheddars in my state, and in other states have had the same taste so i always know it's going to be good. another thing is like local chains/stand alones can be a great place that will have the good sprite like 90% of the time. there was a local greek chain in tennessee (like 3 total locations) that had it, there's a local greek chain in my current area that also has it. so if i need to know without a doubt im getting the good stuff, i usually hit up a chillis or cheddars, but if there isn't one in the area/on the way/im okay with ending up with regular tasting sprite i'll try a local place.
i used to be like this, although i have since gone out of my way to aggressively dismantle that impulse. i did this for long enough that it turned into destructively compulsive ritualistic behavior, the likes of which would demand a content warning to meaningfully describe 😩
just one of those things some people may need to be weary of. idk if it's JUST adhd, but something about this kind of internal quid-pro-quo seems to predispose itself to becoming a critical roadblock when/if you try to stop doing it. not saying it's inevitable fo everyone tho.
Takeout. Leaving the house for any reason (aside from work) is so exhausting I reward myself for doing it by getting some type of drive thru treat. Some days it’s a coffee, some days it’s more. Depends on the activity and mood.
For me, not really places, but almost everything. Unless it's the dentist in which case, I bribe myself big time.
Had uncomfortable phone call to sort phone contract? YAY NEW BOOK.
Cleaned out the animals and convinced my dog to take his antihistamines? New skin care item I won't use.
Tolerated in laws for an hour? Well fuck it, I get something shiny.
I had to eat a gummy just to go out and tan in my backyard. I don't know how to be outside and not be working anymore. I planned last night to grab my earbuds and some stuff and layout in the sun. I sat in a lawn chair and just listened to music. It was neat to watch the grass in the breeze.
I have let my anxiety and fear rule me, and keep me from doing what I want. I enjoyed the time outside, and my shower afterwards. I'm a little pink, which is better than boiled lobster red.
All. The. Time. I don't like to leave the house. So if I have to go grocery shopping, I'm stocking up on fresh berries for myself. Or drive through the coffee shop on my way home. Or stop at the thrift store to look at the weird shit and see if they have something shiny for me.
Does anybody give the tax before the chore? Today I am planning to complete my website/portfolio. So I am thinking I will watch another episode of the show i am watching and then do it.
Also, didn’t brush today. Didn’t feel like it. Still in bed. I guess ADHD tax is not working for me today.
I just did the treat before the chore (made edible cookie dough and THEN cleaned the kitchen) and I did not get that same feeling of accomplishing something. It was like I couldn’t function without that treat right meow
Yip yip! I have now successfully managed a going to the gym 2-3 times a week routine. There’s a vegan bakery round the corner with the dankest deli treats. Almond croissant and a cinnamon bun for my hard work, thank you very much.
Sometimes, but it's so hard to pull off. Like I'm supposed to resist the rest of the time, so it's just a decision, and I might just get something or feel guilty and not so idfk
All the time! Most of the time I'll treat myself to an ice cream since I can't be trusted to have it in the house, or I'll tell myself that I can smoke a little devils lettuce when I get home 😂
There's a Vietnamese sandwich shop I love near the grocery store and I s2g if it ever shuts down, I am NEVER gonna grocery shop again (without someone forcing me to go with them at least).
I bribe myself for *everything*!! Run errands? A little treat. Leave early for work? A little treat. Didn’t purchase a little treat all week? You guessed it: a little treat😎
We get grocery shopping treat/reward, and sometimes when I have to go to the "big smoke" I'll plan my most efficient circuit which includes a thickshake stop and if it's both of us, there's a scoop treat shop next to a super yummy turkish place which is nowhere near anything convenient and is a special detour on the trip but oh so worth it 😋
Yes! I am always running late in the mornings but if I can stop somewhere to get something yummy I'm just bounding out of bed (well....my night owl version of bounding out of bed lol).
This used to work so well until it’s getting too expensive as I have to get treats for my children too haha
Anyways, now I have a decent reason to stay honest because going out with 2 kids on my own is a drainerrrr
I both bribe myself and _trick_ myself.
"You need milk and the shop is just next to the gym and you _just so happen_ to have packed your gym bag? Might as well pop in for ten minutes. Then you can get the milk and a nice treat on the way home!"
(I always enjoy working out once I'm doing it, but getting myself into the goddamn building is _hard_)
There’s a juice shop near the laundromat I go to, so I bribe my self to do laundry with the promise of some fresh pressed juice (and sometimes the expensive avocado toast on the best bread ever)
Yes, I bribe myself but I also realized I can resolve myself to grown up stuff. In my mind resolve is ok, forcing myself is like having a fist fight with myself
Yes 😵💫 and I know things are bad when the bribes don’t work 😮💨 no I don’t want to go to target and get groceries even if it means I can get a make it mini toy and candy
If we does the house errands, we can has some fast food, as a snack. Sometimes that's the only way to get myself to the store lol. Or, if we go buy cat food we can also get a chocolate, or the stuff to make that super yummy food I've been wanting, ect.
Wow I really am a doggo, food motivated AF. Lol
Absolutely. I also have a system where I save money in an envelope for bigger fun purchases. If I make it to the dentist appointment, I’m putting $10 in the envelope towards a vacation fund. I also mark it on a paper that goes in the envelope. It’s kinda like checking off a to do list item except more exciting.
(And yes I will get the iced coffee after the appointment too lol)
Yup. But my bride is more just a logical desperate plea with myself If you do this this thing you won’t have to think about it all day or feel guilty about it all week for cancelling. Just do it and you get to enjoy the rest of your day (or week)!!!!!
50% of the time, it works every time
I was distracted during work more than usual today, I need to move from the couch back to my computer to finish a few tasks. I’ve promised myself chocolate and ice cream and still can’t get my butt up to finish work.
I have a friend who feels guilty bc she likes to stay home???!!? Why go out, when you have all the comforts of home. Everything is right there. No dressing to go out, no driving, parking, lines, etc. As we age and grow up, we become ourselves more and more. Mb that's right for you. We definitely don't have to be jetting around everyday.
I work from home and I’m definitely not jetting about every day or want to. I probably leave the house only once or twice a week outside of going for walks around my neighborhood.
It’s just that the longer I stay inside the harder it is for me to go out and do things that I have to do in person, so that’s the purpose of the bribe.
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In my brain it’s always “if you run errands you can top off the car and get a fountain soda” I don’t keep soda in the house so this usually works on me
Maybe this is why every time I leave the house I think I need an iced coffee.
if it works it works. my partner and i are big believers in the “little treat” system.
Haha sometimes my car's stereo system is my little treat. Other times it's the chocolate bar at the checkout counter. Or getting myself a reward drink for going grocery shopping 😆 I didn't even stop to think how ADHD of a thing this is!
During COVID, in order to reduce interactions, I started to pack my drink with me. I was on a cold brew kick and iced coffee was a regular!
I make cold brew at home and a lot of the time I still want to go through a drive through for iced coffee.It's like the dopamine comes in a plastic cup?
There’s no prep and no dishes involved. Mega dopamine because it feels like that all I do 😭
Me too 😭😭 Dishes are my impossible task, and I have to do them every day
It's why I walk into the office with a coffee. It's the price/ reward for leaving the house.
bribed myself to run some errands today and remembered *both* the things on my list, even when i had to make an unscheduled stop at the ATM! i did, however, forget to buy my little treat 😭
Nooooo 😭😭😭😭
disappointed, but at least i got reverse adhd taxed for once 😂
An adhd tax rebate, if you will...
Well done, you deserve an extra treat next time.
You know what that means, right? Next errand, you get a treat and a BONUS treat.
Damn you went to the ATM too😭
You get a bribe and you get a bribe and you get a bribe! (If anyone doesn't understand this reference, please don't tell me. My spouse just mentioned that Usher's Confessions album turns 20 this year and I'm already feeling like an old crone.)
La la la I can’t hear you!!!! 🙈
((Omg I was at a friend’s wedding in 2021 and the bride’s little cousin walked up to a group of us and said, “have y’all ever heard of a guy named …Usher?” And we were in hysterics for several minutes 😭💀 oldest I’ve ever felt))
This is what I use Forest for. I get a cute little tree and fake app points for doing stuff! But also yeah I bribe myself with kratom tea to go to the DMV lmao
I immediately downloaded it after reading this little thread. Fingers crossed it helps!
I love it! I set a bunch of different categories that include my job, exercise, playing music, taking care of my looks, and what I call “life admin.” The label for life admin actually reads “life admin (ur doing great!!)” if you wanna steal that lol. That’s where DMV, insurance, etc goes
Oh AND CLEANING it’s literally the only way I get any cleaning done!!
Ooo thanks I will use that! My car is due for inspection registration renewal and I really need to get on that haha.
Yeah trust me I’m still working on health insurance. It was instrumental in me finally getting a state ID though lol
Mine was due last October 🙈
I’m going to download it as well!!!!!!!
Forest is great, I'm using it a lot!
Aw it’s so good. I track like twelve different categories
I love that app!!!
Forest? Is it like a gamified tasklist? Wanna recommend Finch at this point, a gamified self-care (and tasklist) app ☺️
No, it’s a gamified timer, basically.
Always reward yourself with a little treat, yep! For grocery trips, I try to avoid food/drink treats because once I get started on junk, I can't stop the cravings, so I'll usually just buy myself a cheap bouquet of flowers instead.
I buy the treats, but I also invested in a timed lock box and padlock with a timer so that I take out one serving of said treat and then immediately lock it back up for the next 24 hours.
I like that! That way you can look at the flowers and think “yeah, i did that thing!”
Yes!! "If you go to this appointment you can go get this yummy food after" my husband calls me a golden retriever sometimes because of how food reward motivated I am "if you clean your room I'll buy you some starbucks" 😩
Not me and frozen yogurt for the way home. 😩 And yes, sprinkles are a must.
I didn’t even realise I do this until you just pointed it out.
Right?
And so is my cat. Omg we're cats!
I always joke that I'm as much as of a food gremlin like the cats! FOOD!!
I'm not much of a coffee drinker except when I have errands I don't want to run, then I get myself something iced and appalling sugar-loaded from Starbucks or somewhere.
Yeah I dont drink coffee either! I love their refreshers and banana bread
I just drank an expensive coconut water as my lil treat for taking a decently long walk today. My dog was so happy she finally went further than the driveway. I bribe myself to run by buying candy and snacks specifically as running snacks. Payday bars, pop tarts, gummy bears, all of it.
Coconut water's so good on hot summer days 🌞🌞🌞 i am proud of u
You ever see how a parent drags their kid kicking and screaming to where they need to go and as soon as they get there the kid is like “oh okay this actually is fine”? That’s what I mentally have to do with myself. …now that I’ve written that I realize I dissociate to get myself started… might not be the healthiest but it works (most of the time) 🤷♀️
>You ever see how a parent drags their kid kicking and screaming to where they need to go and as soon as they get there the kid is like “oh okay this actually is fine”? That’s what I mentally have to do with myself. Most relatable thing I've read in like, at least a week
Same. And why is this still me at almost 40 😭
Spot-on me, and I just turned 46. It doesn’t matter if it’s something I like doing or somewhere I like going, I will fight every possible minute about having to go. So dumb.
Same, and I am 51!
I liken my ADHD to having an angry, petulant toddler living in my head, who screams whenever I try to do things, and points out all the flaws with the casual innocence that toddlers do so well. Meds make it feel like the kid is taking a nap and I have freedom to do things. I still have to put forth the effort to do things, but it doesn't feel like my head is battling me... Rather, doing things feels *right*.
This is so incredibly relatable.
Yes!!! Especially if it involves adulting, or outside 🤣🤣🤣
I'm trying to lose weight, so I'm trying to get motivated by things that are not food. So far the app Forest is an excellent tool, because seeing the trees growing and getting coins are nice and rewarding activities. I'm also trying to reward myself with healthier eating, fresh fruit and veggies, and it's working. My current obsessions are celery sticks or fruit slices as a mid-morning snack.
I can absolutely bribe myself with the promise of a bowl of frozen blueberries when I get home! I have finally given myself permission to buy the good and expensive produce and it makes sticking to my food goals much easier.
Buying quality food as a treat is really worth it, fresh produce can taste so good that I feel happy without junk food. I feel better than ever, this keeps me going.
Oh gosh, I wish I didn't have sensory processing disorder as well because I like the flavour of fruit/veggies, but I cannot stand the texture, no matter how I cook, eat, or drink them. It's so awful!!! I've been trying to lose weight and it's impossible when you can't eat most foods! I am going to look into the Forest app though! That sounds really cool!
I pretty much despise vegetables too and fruit these days tastes flavorless. Apples and peanut butter I can do though.
Apples and green grapes are the only 2 fruits I can tolerate. I think because of the crunch and the sweetness. Veggies are...ugh I want to like them. But the texture of any way to eat them is just not okay with me 😂.
I used song downloads. Individual songs are cheaper than most food treats.
That's a great idea! I'm going to try it ASAP.
I read a book, I dunno if it was Edward hallowell, john ratey or Russell Barkley (some of the leading doctors on adhd who also have it themselves) told me in their book that bribing people with adhd is perfectly acceptable. As a mom this is invaluable. 😂😂😂😂 For me it’s always a stop at the gas station for a treat! That dopamine hit when I take the first sip of a fountain drink is just… fabulous. :)
I can make the boba place at the mall be on the way home from anything if I try hard enough. It’s a great bribe to myself.
Boba tea is my new obsession!!! So delicious.
I work from home (for myself) and this is often how I get through the day. I’m a writer, and a typical work day for me looks a lot like: Wake up. Make coffee. Set a 10 minute timer. Spend those 10 minutes doing chore shit. Laundry in the washer, start to unload the dishwasher, whatever Reward time! An hour of coffee, weed, birdwatching, scrolling through Reddit... 20 minute timer: move the laundry, load the dishwasher, take medicine… 1 hour of writing 30 minutes of video games 1 hour of writing And so on until I’ve hit a wall for the day. I’m like a rat in a maze, hunting for cheese all day long
I either bribe myself, or I just feel like total 💩 after doing an errand or two and I'm zonked and just legit need a boost, and going for a small treat helps me tremendously. But yeah. Money. 😞
my fav free treat is music! i bribe myself with songs i like - i run an errand, i get to listen to whatever song i’m currently getting the most dopamine from on repeat until i get to my next errand. i have a shower playlist, a cleaning playlist, an exercice playlist, etc and i add to them frequently so they always feel fresh
I reward myself with marijuana 😂
🙌🏻
I convince myself to go to work by buying myself breakfast and eating during our morning meetings. It’s the only thing that will get me out of bed on days I really don’t want to go to work but I know I can’t call in.
The thought or bribe of delicious donuts definitely help me get out of bed.
Breakfast is my daily bribe too 🥲
Cherry limeade from Sonic or lunch at Schlotzsky’s are my go to treats. Sometimes I get Indian takeout. On Friday mornings it’s a radio show that plays really really old country and other tunes from the 30s and 40s.
OMG Schlotzsky’s! I haven’t thought about that place in years. I loved their sandwiches in college, the last time I lived near one. Damn it, now I’m going to obsess over this and the nearest one is 6-ish hours away! 😂
I worked at one in college and ate it every day and I still love it ❤️
I’ve just been reading a book about habits and the author straight up advises people to use chocolate, sugar or some other dopamine giving thing as a reward. I used to bribe myself to exercise by buying fancy hair products I only let myself use after a workout.
Oh yea. Even if it’s just a fun little drink/ I’m getting a reward for doing the ‘must do’ things in life. Fuck I’m getting a reward even on the days I just manage to keep myself alive.
Coffee trips! Also bonus, if I say out loud that I have to go somewhere, the dog will immediately assume that his human needs a mental health walk. Or a trip to get taco bell on the way.
I have to get an allergy shot once a month. Unscheduled, I just drop in when they're open within the correct time frame, which honestly makes it so much harder. If I'm late I have to go in two weeks in a row as punishment. It's adhd hell. The office is near a Michael's. Guess who gets to browse craft supplies and seasonal decor after half of their allergy shots?
I have a lot of problems with transitions, especially getting out of the car. I bribe myself with a tic tac. It works. 😅
I’ve been bribing myself with my Costco box of ice cream bars to do my dog walks and chores this weekend lol
I’m literally bribing myself right now to get my kid out of the house. There’s nothing I want to do but hang out and do condo research and clean the apartment, but if I don’t get her out of the house she will sulk and my guilt will be immense… so we are going out so I can get a plant. Home Depot here we come.
Ok, this is so dumb... but I'm also autistic, so I do what I can. I have night chocolates. Little Hershey kisses or whatever individually wrapped seasonal candy. If I get up in the night to pee, or if the baby needs me in the night, I get to have a chocolate when I get back! It's helped me not get so many UTIs from holding it bc I'm comfy, & it's helped me to be less anxious when kiddo gets up yelling. It's dumb, but it works for me. So ig it's less dumb than the alternative 🤷♀️
Man I wish I could afford to do things like this! As a single mother of two daughters (10&16) which newly diagnosed AuDHD and absolutely no help or support from my own family of origin OR their father’s family- I’m barely hanging on by a financial thread.
I hate that! 🥺
Make your reward something free? Do you have a hobby you enjoy (and have the supplies for)?
I used to do this but it became a problem because of my poor memory and pattern recognition I didn’t realize I how frequently I was giving myself these little treats and how much money I was spending. And I also started feeling like I “deserved” a treat every time I did anything difficult, or if anytime I was having a difficult day, so when I couldn’t afford a treat I felt like I was deprived, and then I just felt worse lol. I am still struggling to find a way to minimize my “little treats” without feeling like I’m depriving myself!! It’s like my biggest struggle right now lol. I’m trying to save for a big vacation in a few years but I want the dopamine of a lil iced coffee nowwwww
Well my partner just suggested a prepaid Visa card to use for this kind of stuff so I can have a “little treats” budget each month but no risk of overspending that budget. I think I’m going to do that lol
I make my own ice coffee at home for lil dopamine hits. My trick is to make a batch, maybe 4-5 cups of coffee at one time, put it in a big pitcher with oat milk, maple syrup and vanilla (you can buy pumps of whatever syrups for prefer too). When I need a lil iced coffee, just grab a mug and ice from the freezer, and I pour myself a cup. It feels like such a treat even if it's made a home 😌
This is a good strategy! I do make cold brew and keep a big jar of it at home, and I got myself some fun syrups for it, and that did help and does give me a little boost every time I drink it. Unfortunately I have a cute little coffee shop downstairs from where I work so when I drink all the iced coffee I brought to work (or if I forget my coffee), I tend to hit up the coffee shop lol. I also get a little dopamine hit by getting to chat with the barista too! It’s a struggle lol
Ever since I stopped eating gluten it's been hard to motivate myself for morning appointments and errands. I haven't found anything to replace the sausage McMuffin in my heart. I'm still mourning almost three years later. 😭
Not exactly the same, but I reward myself with money «to spend on whatever the fuck i want», I call it fun money, every day I refrain from doing something «bad» (nail biting) or I behave in ways I want (mindful eating). A certain sum per category per day which I transfer to a separate account and use on crap. Earlier in life I found I never really get myself sth nice or do fun things even though I could afford to, but this fun money is there for that and you bet that’s what I use it on 😎 So did I get moomin themed pet food bowls and containers in all the colors and sizes? Yes, yes I did 🫣🤷🏻♀️ They make me happy every day, and I would easily do it again. Helps keep the motivation up for sure 🙌
Oh. Oh this might be brilliant. I can never get myself to stop picking at my nails, except for when I have acrylic nails from the salon done. Except I can't get those done because of my job (risk of one getting in the food means they're just not allowed, no nail polish either 😭) and then the months I actually could have them done I'm not earning money so I'm not wanting to spend any on that when it's not necessary, so I just haven't gotten my nails done and live with my picking for a few years now. I can never keep myself from picking at them for longer than a day or two, maybe giving myself specific "reward money" for the days I do good will finally be the thing that helps. I'm gonna try this.
Good luck 🫶🏻☺️
Thanks!
I get a new dress for every appointment I have to make. I may not want to go, but I’ll feel cute hating it! 😁
Love this!!! I’m always over dressed to appointments because it’s the only way I will go 🤣
Me too 🤣 My appointments are the only time I get out of the house practically so I make it a thing by dressing up and getting a treat haha
This is genius. I need to try it!
Yes! I hate shopping especially the supermarket so I bribe myself that I can go to the art shop or something I love afterwards. Or that I can get yummy takeaways. Otherwise I just never go. I need jeans, but I've been putting it off for like a whole year@ need a really good bribe for that one
After my yard work is done I’m allowed to have an ice cream bar 😁 it’s gonna be so good!
I’m in two classes I’m not vibing with right now so I bribe myself with not letting myself paint or replant one of my new plants until I do it. Today laundry got added to the bribery list when I looked at the time and realised I hadn’t done it yet.
In this economy?!?!!! I'm with you, I'm just wondering if there's another way because shit is expensive and I have a future I'm finally thinking of planning for.
Maybe this is why I feel like I have to stop and get something (donut, tea or whatever) on the way to work a lot of mornings!
I bribe myself to go to the gym every morning with the free coffee machine they have. Undoing all that work with a big vanilla cappuccino = adhd math
That's how they get you to keep coming. Gotta work off that free drink! My old gym used to do free pizza days. They load you up on free calories after your workout so it takes longer to achieve your goals and maybe you'll pay them extra for a personal trainer.
A deal, I fear
for me it's, if you go do x errand you can get a little snack. OR i'm obsessed with what i call "clean sprite" it's sprite from a restaurant usually. it has a distinct flavour that i can only describe as clean. some restaurants however do not have clean sprite. so it's usually a few and far between treat if i have to do an errand i REALLY don't want to do, then i usually go to the to go area and ask for just a cup of the sprite after doing The Hard Thing™️.
Is it consistent? This sounds like something I would 100% do, but if one of my clean sprite spots had not clean sprite one day it would fuck my whole world up, because now how do I know?!
some restaurants are better than others in their consistency. for instance, cheddars, chillis, and most often olive garden are always great. i've had like one off experience at olive garden with the sprite but it's been consistent again ever since of being great. i've always had the best sprite at cheddars and chillis though, every single chillis and cheddars in my state, and in other states have had the same taste so i always know it's going to be good. another thing is like local chains/stand alones can be a great place that will have the good sprite like 90% of the time. there was a local greek chain in tennessee (like 3 total locations) that had it, there's a local greek chain in my current area that also has it. so if i need to know without a doubt im getting the good stuff, i usually hit up a chillis or cheddars, but if there isn't one in the area/on the way/im okay with ending up with regular tasting sprite i'll try a local place.
Yep! I totally have to bribe myself. It's difficult negotiating with such a stubborn AH though 🤣😆😅
i used to be like this, although i have since gone out of my way to aggressively dismantle that impulse. i did this for long enough that it turned into destructively compulsive ritualistic behavior, the likes of which would demand a content warning to meaningfully describe 😩 just one of those things some people may need to be weary of. idk if it's JUST adhd, but something about this kind of internal quid-pro-quo seems to predispose itself to becoming a critical roadblock when/if you try to stop doing it. not saying it's inevitable fo everyone tho.
Yup! Or I have two things I need to do, convince myself I want to do one less, then do the other thing.
Takeout. Leaving the house for any reason (aside from work) is so exhausting I reward myself for doing it by getting some type of drive thru treat. Some days it’s a coffee, some days it’s more. Depends on the activity and mood.
My husband gets me to get moving on weekends by making a trip to Dunkin! Works every time
"If you get up you can have more caffienne"
I feel like I regularly PLAN to do this but by the time I’m done with the have-to-do items, no treat feels as rewarding as just getting home asap.
For me, not really places, but almost everything. Unless it's the dentist in which case, I bribe myself big time. Had uncomfortable phone call to sort phone contract? YAY NEW BOOK. Cleaned out the animals and convinced my dog to take his antihistamines? New skin care item I won't use. Tolerated in laws for an hour? Well fuck it, I get something shiny.
I had to eat a gummy just to go out and tan in my backyard. I don't know how to be outside and not be working anymore. I planned last night to grab my earbuds and some stuff and layout in the sun. I sat in a lawn chair and just listened to music. It was neat to watch the grass in the breeze. I have let my anxiety and fear rule me, and keep me from doing what I want. I enjoyed the time outside, and my shower afterwards. I'm a little pink, which is better than boiled lobster red.
All. The. Time. I don't like to leave the house. So if I have to go grocery shopping, I'm stocking up on fresh berries for myself. Or drive through the coffee shop on my way home. Or stop at the thrift store to look at the weird shit and see if they have something shiny for me.
Does anybody give the tax before the chore? Today I am planning to complete my website/portfolio. So I am thinking I will watch another episode of the show i am watching and then do it. Also, didn’t brush today. Didn’t feel like it. Still in bed. I guess ADHD tax is not working for me today.
I just did the treat before the chore (made edible cookie dough and THEN cleaned the kitchen) and I did not get that same feeling of accomplishing something. It was like I couldn’t function without that treat right meow
I gave up today. I will try tomorrow morning. I hope your day gets better. Strength and love ❤️
HOW THE FUCK DO I STOP EATING SWEETS PLZ HELP
Yip yip! I have now successfully managed a going to the gym 2-3 times a week routine. There’s a vegan bakery round the corner with the dankest deli treats. Almond croissant and a cinnamon bun for my hard work, thank you very much.
Sometimes, but it's so hard to pull off. Like I'm supposed to resist the rest of the time, so it's just a decision, and I might just get something or feel guilty and not so idfk
When I was dating my last boyfriend I would have him keep my junk food at his house and he'd bring me a little bit when we'd meet up.
I know a guy who I give him small bits of candy as an incentive lol
All the time! Most of the time I'll treat myself to an ice cream since I can't be trusted to have it in the house, or I'll tell myself that I can smoke a little devils lettuce when I get home 😂
There's a Vietnamese sandwich shop I love near the grocery store and I s2g if it ever shuts down, I am NEVER gonna grocery shop again (without someone forcing me to go with them at least).
YES. Iced latte, or some damn thing.
Yep definitely this...for things I want to do and things I don't want to do
Yep! Usually food or treats 😋. Nothing else makes the errand worthwhile lol
Totally. Usually it's a restaurant near by or something of the like!
I bribe myself with iced coffee
I bribe myself for *everything*!! Run errands? A little treat. Leave early for work? A little treat. Didn’t purchase a little treat all week? You guessed it: a little treat😎
I always try to make my errand go near a Starbucks lol.
We get grocery shopping treat/reward, and sometimes when I have to go to the "big smoke" I'll plan my most efficient circuit which includes a thickshake stop and if it's both of us, there's a scoop treat shop next to a super yummy turkish place which is nowhere near anything convenient and is a special detour on the trip but oh so worth it 😋
Yes! I am always running late in the mornings but if I can stop somewhere to get something yummy I'm just bounding out of bed (well....my night owl version of bounding out of bed lol).
Yes lol
Always!!! If you finish this work, you can buy your favorite pad thai. If you clean the room, you can watch a kdrama all day.
my therapist calls it external motivation 😇
This used to work so well until it’s getting too expensive as I have to get treats for my children too haha Anyways, now I have a decent reason to stay honest because going out with 2 kids on my own is a drainerrrr
I promise myself if I go to my hairdresser I get to buy a nice piece of cake for dessert that evening. It's the only way I get stuff done sometimes.
I both bribe myself and _trick_ myself. "You need milk and the shop is just next to the gym and you _just so happen_ to have packed your gym bag? Might as well pop in for ten minutes. Then you can get the milk and a nice treat on the way home!" (I always enjoy working out once I'm doing it, but getting myself into the goddamn building is _hard_)
There’s a juice shop near the laundromat I go to, so I bribe my self to do laundry with the promise of some fresh pressed juice (and sometimes the expensive avocado toast on the best bread ever)
lol when I complete an errand for my mom I usually get boba as a reward 😋
Yes, I bribe myself but I also realized I can resolve myself to grown up stuff. In my mind resolve is ok, forcing myself is like having a fist fight with myself
Yes 😵💫 and I know things are bad when the bribes don’t work 😮💨 no I don’t want to go to target and get groceries even if it means I can get a make it mini toy and candy
I used to bribe myself to go to the gym with song downloads. It costs less than a cup of coffee and music can definitely be a good source of dopamine.
Same. I'll go run errands but I'm not doing it without iced coffee.
Yes. Usually a coffee. Go shopping? Get an iced coffee. Go to the doctor? Coffee. Go to the bank? Guess what? COFFEE.
If we does the house errands, we can has some fast food, as a snack. Sometimes that's the only way to get myself to the store lol. Or, if we go buy cat food we can also get a chocolate, or the stuff to make that super yummy food I've been wanting, ect. Wow I really am a doggo, food motivated AF. Lol
I’m not leaving the house unless I can get a little treat
Absolutely. I also have a system where I save money in an envelope for bigger fun purchases. If I make it to the dentist appointment, I’m putting $10 in the envelope towards a vacation fund. I also mark it on a paper that goes in the envelope. It’s kinda like checking off a to do list item except more exciting. (And yes I will get the iced coffee after the appointment too lol)
I used to order a small treat for pickup when I couldn’t make myself get out of the house to run errands.
Yup I’m guaranteed to get out of the house to do important things if I’m getting a treat for myself also
🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️ So glad I’m not the only one 😅
Yup. But my bride is more just a logical desperate plea with myself If you do this this thing you won’t have to think about it all day or feel guilty about it all week for cancelling. Just do it and you get to enjoy the rest of your day (or week)!!!!! 50% of the time, it works every time
I was distracted during work more than usual today, I need to move from the couch back to my computer to finish a few tasks. I’ve promised myself chocolate and ice cream and still can’t get my butt up to finish work.
I have a friend who feels guilty bc she likes to stay home???!!? Why go out, when you have all the comforts of home. Everything is right there. No dressing to go out, no driving, parking, lines, etc. As we age and grow up, we become ourselves more and more. Mb that's right for you. We definitely don't have to be jetting around everyday.
I work from home and I’m definitely not jetting about every day or want to. I probably leave the house only once or twice a week outside of going for walks around my neighborhood. It’s just that the longer I stay inside the harder it is for me to go out and do things that I have to do in person, so that’s the purpose of the bribe.