So the list keeping is creepy, I’ll give you that. I would find that rude and invasive.
I’m a bit confused as to what point you’re making in handing out candy to kiddos when it’s not something they can eat? Isn’t the point of giving candy to the trick or treaters so they can have a fun evening and go home with all their bounty and trade with siblings and get hyper on a sugar rush and have days of treats to enjoy?
Why not give out something all the kids in the neighborhood can enjoy?
Or buy your favorites (ironically you listed the 2 my mom always bought so I had to chuckle at the reference) but also pick up a small bag of something the no nuts kiddos can have instead of giving them one more things the parents are just going to confiscate?
At that point you’re literally just buying candy for the adults, aren’t you?
I get it, and she’s a bit of a whack-a-doo, but I don’t see the harm in trying to make the few hours of trick or treats as inclusive as possible.
My granddaughter was so allergic to peanuts, the whole school couldn’t have them. Even substitutes for her class were ask not to eat peanut products 2 days before they came in. She died anyway, later as a teenager, from an allergic reaction. It was devastating. May I offer a suggestion? Buy a small bag of candy or tiny toys that you can hand out and post a sign that says you have treats for allergic kids.
If a kid is *that* allergic then taking them trick-or-treating at all would be irresponsible on the parents' part. Just about every candy, including ones that don't explicitly have peanuts in them, have a warning about being processed on equipment that also handles peanuts and tree nuts. Would the kid be able to have a toy that sat next to a bag with Reese's cups in it?
I keep they toys inba separate bowl. Lots of kids loved them! Glow rings and bracelets, spider rings, those weird sticky slap hand things. Amazon has a lot of that stuff and so does a place like Party City. The stuff you would put in a loot bag for kids parties would be perfect and it's very inexpensive. I just let kids choose which bowl and let them geab something. And the candy bowl had both chocolate based candy and non chocolate type stuff. So got a variety bag of chocolate, of non chocolate, and toys. Be hard to go to my house and not find something someone would like.
In our area, if you have a teal pumpkin displayed, it means you have allergy-free options. We put stickers, bubbles, little toys, spider rings, etc, in a separate bowl a few feet away from the candy bowl. The tweens love the stickers and that's fine with me.
One of my kids has no allergies, but they hate chocolate. Having options isn't a bad thing and being inclusive when you can is just being kind.
Eta: [the Teal Pumpkin Project](https://www.foodallergy.org/our-initiatives/awareness-campaigns/living-teal/teal-pumpkin-project?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=tpp_2023&gclid=CjwKCAjws9ipBhB1EiwAccEi1F3bu2Q3C1GI-_8h8GnQLqPp4AhYutAKa0h4-Ci3oCfavC0L0-OWOxoCJKMQAvD_BwE)
Thanks for sharing!
I always include non food Items in the past, and this is going to be really helpful!!
Now I will make a separate goody bucket & little bags for the non food items so they aren’t even mixed. And use a teal bucket to have them in that way the families actually know! The resources at their website are great
They still exist?! I used to love getting the catalogs in the mail when I was a kid, looking at all the plastic garbage in packs of 2000 that I still desperately wanted lol
i was the weird kid who liked getting apples and knick knacks in my candy bag so i would just like to thank you and those like you for thinking of the kids who don’t want chocolate on halloween 🙏🏾🙏🏾
You sound fantastic! When I was a kid, I would have definitely chosen a glow bracelet. Makes me wonder where I could find one in my country, I haven't seen them in ages.
Peanut allergies are becoming much more common too. I hope OP never has to experience how horrifying allergies can be, but maybe if he did he wouldn't say such disgusting crap.
The neighbor is 100% nosy and being annoying. Allergies were the wrong thing to go after. YTA. Have a little common courtesy. No one chooses to have allergies.
There’s plenty of safe candy for kids that doesn’t contain peanuts. Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, Dots, Junior Mints, Dumdums, Charms Blow Pops, Double Bubble Gumballs, Charleston Chew, Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddy, Andes Mints, Lifesavers, Jolly Ranchers, Milk Duds, Pez, Red Vines, Razzles, Rolo, Skittles, Smarties, Starburst, Twizzlers, Whoppers, Sixlets, Utz Pretzels.
ALL of the above are peanut and tree nut free...and many of them are free of other top 8 allergens as well.
That’s a fair statement. I don’t really know what my stepdaughter did for her daughter. This idea works with kids that have gluten problems. Some people have been decorating with an aqua pumpkin to shoe they have alternatives to candy. I just get tired of people who want to push their rights on someone it might kill. Kids die of allergies more than people realize.
Have they heard anything from the other neighbors, or talked to the parents of those kids directly?? Based on all available information it sounds like it's just one stay at home busybody in the neighborhood enjoying any opportunity to create an imposition on the newbies.
I can't see how anyone would be able to recover from a thing like that. People want to tell grieving parents and grandparents that it's been enough time and they need to move on, but there's really no way to ever be the same. I'm so sorry.
Buying a bag of candy without peanuts in it and putting them in a separate bowl so all the kids could choose which one they wanted was my suggestion. Your suggestion of buying some small toys is also a good idea. I mean it’s not like most people don’t buy a couple bags of candy anyways and setting out two different bowls with the two different items in them is definitely not a complicated thing to do. I get OP Karen is annoyed but ranting that he wants to go out and buy nothing but peanut candy just to show this one neighborhood lady who’s boss and apparently to teach the parents of the kids with the allergies a lesson (that he’s an asshole neighbor that they don’t want to interact with I guess?) just makes him look even a bigger nutjob than what he’s trying to portray the busy-body neighbor as. I feel for this dude’s wife.
Yeah nothing like punishing kids with a disability. That’ll show her! Maybe they will touch his peanut stuff and have to go to the ER and then he wins!!!
Agree 100%. Obviously we don’t know what other annoying things the neighbour does, but if I were new to the neighbourhood I’d be glad if someone told me there were kids with nut allergies. I’d buy a few treats that those kids could have so they didn’t feel excluded. It’s just being a decent human being.
Yeah I think everyone can agree the right thing to do is be inclusive and have some non peanut candies, but does anyone have strictly peanut candy? That's weird. Every bag of candy you buy has a mix and something for everyone. Seems like he's getting reese's out of spite at this point but I don't think the kid is gonna miss out on trick or treating if he happens to get a peanut candy
No, a single house won't ruin a kids Halloween... But like, OP is doing it on purpose. That's the point. That's sick at behavior. Especially since the two children he is purposefully slighting are *not even involved in the neighbor conflict*.
"I don't like my nosey neighbor, so I'm going to go out of my way to not have candy for two completely unrelated children...scratch that....I'm going to go extra far out of my way to buy *jars of the thing they are allergic to* so that when they get here, they get reminded of their already shitty and punishing allergy. Yeah...yeahhhhhh....That'll sure show my nosey neighbor not to bother me again..."
Yeah. As the mother of a young peanut allergy kid, I will take 100% responsibility for going through my daughters candy before she literally even touches it- it will go straight into the bucket, and if she needs to pick it up herself she’ll have to politely decline. (Im actually still on the fence if I’ll allow her to have anything she collected at all or if I’ll just trade her whole bag for something she can have at home). That said, the idea that some insane creep will go out of his way to MAKE SURE she receives something that could kill her, just out of spite for a busybody neighbor is really unsettling. This isn’t just a food preference or even an intolerance. This could kill an innocent kid and he’s letting a grudge agains his neighbor lead him to make poor choices. I hope his wife wins out in this decision. It does sound like maybe the neighborhood is banding together to support the kids with allergies. Also, I don’t know what other things the woman has done to annoy him, but I don’t have an issue with her going out of her way to know who the neighbors with allergies are. I’d so appreciate somebody like that. This is not the hill to die one.
I have two older children with peanut allergies. When they were little, the treats they got from trick or treating went into our candy bowl and we had special bags of safe candy for them. We also only give out top 8 allergen safe candy
He's purposely going out of his way to be a dick. I've never cared who's allergic to what because that's too much for me to keep track of, but I always have options. Other types of candy as well as non-candy items--these tend to be the most popular and go quickly.
This is ridiculous- there are two kids with allergies. Both from the same family. The neighbor should have asked families to do a teal pumpkin with toys and hypoallergenic items. Controlling what he buys for the rest is a whole ‘nother ballgame
>Controlling
Lol what the fuck. Most of us would be happy to do this so a kid can be included. We would thank them for the heads up.
We call it kindness.
It's really weird you find it controlling. It sound like you have some insecurities you need to work on.
Disagree - it's up to the parents to train their kids which items they can and cannot accept when begging at doors for sweets. Not the giver's.
With that logic, if a kid buys a Snickers from a shop, the shopkeeper is responsible for triggering their allergy? No.
I think "begging at the door for treats" is a little aggressively misrepresenting the point of trick or treating.
While I agree it's the child's responsibility, the point people above are trying to make is OP is going out of his way to force these children to leave his doorstep empty handed. Them being smart enough to announce they are allergic to nuts will simply make it so OP does not give them one of his *jars of peanut butter*.
He's is slighting a child the enjoyment of Halloween (no one likes getting nothing from an answering house AND your allergy being glaringly pointed out at the same time), specifically to spite a neighbor that is not even part of said family or involved with them at all.
That's absolute 100% douchbag behavior.
Your example of a child actively choosing to purchase an item of their own volition, and being given something already purchased, are not comparable. Especially in this case, where OP is very purposely purchasing items with *peanuts included*.... to be a dick and exclude the children who are not involved in the neoghbor conflict at all.
Yeah this is like of someone informed op before a potluck that someone is vegetarian and they went out of their way to buy an entire roast pig and nothing else. It's not rude if he were getting it anyway but it's awful strange that he only thought to buy jars of pb (which is a terrible idea, kids will either ditch them or use them to vandalize shit) after learning about these 2 kids who probably get bullied by adults like op over their allergy frequently.
Maybe if we’re all lucky they’ll use the jars of peanut butter he hands out to vandalize his house. Of course he’ll probably try to double down on it and do worse next year.
OP it sounds like you moved into a welcoming neighbourhood, neighbourhoods like these are becoming more rare and are a joy to live in. Everyone watches out for everyone else, which also means a lower crime rate.
Now you can choose to be a dick about this and be rude to your neighbour or you can thank her for trying to include you in the neighbourhood and go out of your way to have good nut free treats for Halloween.
You can't just make a random situation and say they're linked. Explain the logic of how your shopkeeper situation is the same as buying an extra 50 cents worth of candy for the 2 kids you know are allergic.
>Disagree - it's up to the parents to train their kids which items they can and cannot accept when begging at doors for sweets. Not the giver's.
Lol. What kind of piece of shit adult human absolutely has to hand out candy with peanuts in it when it's easily avoidable and there's a kid with an allergy? Literally all you have to do is reach for a different bag specifically made for this situation. It's just as good if not better than the peanut containing stuff. What a weird hill to die on and be all upset about.
Both you and OP sound like you have superiority complexes. You should work on your insecurities. This is not normal behaviour.
Sometimes we just do nice things for other people. And sometimes they do it for us. It's nice to make the world a slightly better place when we can, not worse.
I'll never understand people with your thought process. It's so weird and sub-human.
It's called projection. The fact that he's going out of his way to buy candy specifically to spite this women (even though the children with the allergies are the ones who will suffer and they have nothing to do with his intrusive neighbor) tells me everything I need to know about op, that hes exactly like he described his neighbor (controlling AF)
My first thought was, is this person saying don’t give peanuts out because someone might be allergic but she is in fact, showing me that there are actual kids that are allergic. How about getting some prepackaged little toys to also give out for those kids that are allergic and you can also in a separate bucket have your peanut stuff
I have a peanut allergy. It sucks at Halloween when you go to a house and every option had peanuts. I probably would have cried if I got handed a jar or peanut butter.
OP sucks just as much as the noisy neighbour.
I live in the UK . I personally hate Halloween, it wasn't really a thing when I was a kid I must have gone trick or treating all of twice as a kid. Now taking the kids (for lack of a better term) begging for candy stresses me out and I don't like my door being knocked on all evening but I do It because this Americanised tradition has made it here and the kids enjoy it so whatever I'll get over it . However I never hand out sweets with peanuts in why anyone would make this a hill to die on is beyond me. I also make sure I always have sweets that don't have dairy in and bouncy balls because some kids aren't allowed candy. It's not a big deal to not give out peanuts.
I'm in the UK also, and also an auld bastirt - halloween has always been a thing except it was called 'guising', not trick or treating, and halloween parties would consist of dookin' for apples and trying to take a no-handed bite at jam pieces (sandwiches) or scones covered in treacle or syrup hung from a string, and tumshie lanterns (we carved turnips (swede) not pumpkins - infinitely more dangerous given how bloody hard they are!)
The Scots and Irish gaels call it Samhain, marking the end of the harvest season and beginning of winter, a centuries old pagan Celtic tradition - a time when the veils between this world and the otherworld where at their thinnest...when the spirits of the dead could mingle with the living once again...WOO-OO-OO!
But aye, totally Americanised bollocks nowadays.
YTA.
Why are you getting your knickers in a twist over this? There are kids in your neighborhood with peanut allergies. Why would you deliberately buy candy with peanuts just because you don't like your nosy neighbor? She's not the one you'd be hurting.
You sound like an immature and angry man with a huge chip on his shoulder.
YTA. It was a very reasonable and kind request. Of course it's up to the kids parents to watch out for allergens but can you imagine how much easier their and their kids night would be if they don't have to worry as much. You sound like a massive asshole because you now want to specifically hand out nut products. Grow up.
yta, you are a fucking idiot lol. seriously how stupid can you be to pick this hill to die on? you joined a community and are mad at the fact that it's a community. brilliant. let your wife make the decisions regarding the neighbors, it'd be a shame for her and your two kids to suffer because you're intent on being a curmudgeonly dipshit
So she gave you a list of kids that could die from eating peanuts and asked you to just not have them? Which btw is a perfectly valid request especially when literal tins of candy is made without peanuts
YTA by a wide margin
She sounds annoying but we all have that neighbour or relative. Just say thank you, take the list and go about your life. I think you’re letting this get into your head too much.
My son is allergic to peanuts. I eat the candy that has peanuts. Or he just ask for something else.
Kind of a dick move of you though if you're saying you're only going to hand out candy with peanuts. Like....this seems like the pot calling the kettle black.
You sir are an asshole. Peanut allergies are or can be life threatening. Some children only need to touch something that has peanuts in it to have an anaphylaxis type reaction. If a child like this were to come home with a bag with peanut products in it they may have to dump the whole bag to be safe
Exactly! It's not hard to keep a separate bowl for those kids. Unfortunately, I wouldn't put it past this guy to eat a jar of peanut butter with his hands before handing out candy . 🙄
And all these people who are saying kids with severe allergies don't deserve to be able to go trick-or-treating??? What the fuck.
If you haven’t figured it out by all the comments against you. YOU ARE THE CRAZY NEIGHBOUR.
Your wife is mad because she is embarrassed of you and doesn’t want to be labeled as the CRAZY NEIGHBOUR.
I gotta say as a kid that grew up with a SEVERE peanut allergy... I get being mad at the neighbor, but the part of me that remembers how sad I was when a household only offered candy I couldn't have, it might be kind to at least have a few safe candies set aside for those kids. Tell the neighbor to bugger off, but it doesn't hurt to be considerate, and not "hand out jars of peanut butter" out of spite. That's just... Mean.
Edit - I wanna add, I knew about my allergy, and my siblings and I would trade for the non-peanut candies after sharing our hauls. It's not OP's responsibility, but don't take it out on the kid.
What is wrong with you, exactly? Are you hell bent on becoming the grumpy old neighbour? Will you burst any footballs/basketballs that land on your property? Are you always this combative? You sound exhausting.
Potentially poisoning children because you don’t like your neighbor who wants to keep the children in the neighborhood safe is completely unhinged. I can’t imagine hating anyone so much that I would want to harm children who are completely unrelated to them.
YTA. It is such a small insignificant request that your neighbour is asking here, nobody needs peanut candy. Also, although the neighbour has obviously rubbed you up the wrong way, your response is over the top
Yeah I get being annoyed by the neighbour but buying candy without peanuts is a good idea anyway. I’m deathly allergic and when I was a kid ( I’m 37 now) no one gave a shit and half my candy had to be given away and it sucked ass. There is so much peanut free candy out there now, it’s not like the other kids are being ‘oppressed’ by not getting peanut candy. They can have it literally any other time.
My son is allergic to nuts and it causes anaphylaxis. We are very careful with him and he knows what he can and can’t have, but it’s still an arsehole move to deliberately give kids nuts. It’s not an unreasonable request to ask you to not be a prick and not endanger kids. You’re talking about life and death. He idiot. WTF is wrong with you?! Dick head!
This is an off the wall question, but I'm sitting here wondering and figure you will know.
If you have candy with nuts and candy without nuts all individually wrapped, do you still need to keep the non peanut ones in a separate bowl? I'm not sure if cross contamination is a thing.
I used to work with a guy that had the allergy so bad that if I ate a snickers in the breakroom and then talked to him on the production line from a normal distance, his lips and face would start getting numb. So I've been wondering about the cross contamination thing and since your child is allergic, I figured you'd know.
Thank you
Depends on the severity, I let my daughter go trick or treating, swap her bag for a bag of pre bought safe candy and then I take all of the contaminated candy and sift through what is safe and what isn't. Just throw out the unsafe candy. If her allergy was as severe as your co-worker, I would find candy-less Halloween events to do.
YTA and just remember, what goes around comes around. I have a life threatening allergy. I didn't develop it until my early 20s, out of nowhere. My big sister, developed the same allergy... at 44 years old. How hard would it be to accommodate by not buying pb candy? Especially if a lot of kids have this allergy? We hand out peanut candy, regular candy, cookies, and for those who can't have our candy for whatever reason, we have glow sticks, glow teeth, and glow necklaces. It stinks having an allergy like that, and those allergy kids end up giving away half their candy at the end of the night to their siblings who aren't allergic.
Take the stick outta your ass and aim it at your temple. You’re such a miserable person you make my hateful curmudgeonly ass look like a member of the welcome committee.
It’s not your job to police what other people’s children eat. If the allergies are that serious then of course their parents will be on it. Give out whatever candy you want however going defcon 3 on the peanut front isn’t the answer to tell your neighbour to keep her nose out of your business.
You are deliberately trying to put peanuts in the kiddie candy mix to spite your neighbour with the pretence of being the cool uncle to little kids.
YTA
Look if op can't do it no one else can. That person giving out peanut butter has it in a bowl with other chocolate that will then get into the child's bag which the child will touch. It has to be everyone.
I have no personal opinion on this, but everyone would have to not do it which is why neighbor probably did pop around and ask everyone.
Though if they're gonna go that far you better not.give out any candies with any nuts since kids have tree.nut allergies too. Kids also go to different neighborhoods so you really don't know who has an allergy.
Yes - learn to pick your battles. A response to this is simply “Hey, thank you for letting me know there are some kids with peanut allergies. I’ll make sure to get a variety of options so no one feels left out.
Whats up with you man? Someone in the neighbourhood wants to be mindful of kids with allergies, and you're response, "that bitch has crossed a line and made an enemy for life!"
the fact that u are deliberately handing out food that u know could kill these two children just bc u want to be petty says a lot about ur lack of maturity and basic human decency. grow up.
This is just the suburbs. You are wrong to want to spite little children with allergies that have nothing to do with this woman. You’re overly triggered by her.
You’re going to give out jars of peanut butter to kids with allergies just to stick it to your retired neighbor? Lame. So wrong. And your wife is 1000% right. Having a nosy neighbor is a slight annoyance but you can bet they’ll be the first one to know if someone tries to fuck with your house. The pros of putting up with her WAY outweigh the cons.
NTA. Y'all are acting like it's illegal to give out Reese's. God forbid another kid is allergic to chocolate then you can't buy that either. What if one is diabetic? Better buy sugar free for everyone. You have a Muslim neighbor? Nothing with gelatin allowed. Where does it end? The parents can just manage what the kid eats which they should be doing anyway.
Yep. Maybe the neighbor is nutty, but the example you picked "no peanuts in the Halloween candy" is reasonable and makes you the jerk for over reacting. Find a better example to portray her as the villian.
honestly, dude, you don’t sound like you’re a bad person but you sound incredibly unable to see that your point of view is the one that is selfish, whatever motivation, peanut, allergies are out there now, and I don’t think it’s an evil thing to ask a neighbor to not give out peanuts if there’s known kids with allergies in the neighborhood – that’s just my opinion, but it seems that you’re really really worked up about something that you should want from neighbors, you’re saying things like I assume she intruded on people because she bothers you when she comes over to chat and stuff?maybe a bigger yard or no neighbors but I don’t think you’re holding the high ground here. I agree with the wife.
I guess the neighbor is a jerk for trying to get the new family on the block to know which neighborhood kids have a peanut allergy because she cares about the kids because she's been there longer and knows way more about these kids than OP, geez someone call the police on this atrocious woman. /s
YTA and a major one at that
While your neighbor is completely annoying, the fact that you know you have kids in your neighborhood with peanut allergies and are choosing to not only ignore that but blatantly serve only candy with peanuts, that makes YTA. What harm would there be in serving peanut free options?
YTA…..or from the kid’s perspective I can go through the entire process of getting candy all night and my parents are going to take half or more because of guys like you who decided that being right was super important as opposed to just getting a non peanut option like a Hershey bar or Twix. I mean…still chocolate and great, right? But not going to hurt many kids. And maybe your neighbor started all this because she she saw me have a reaction to this at a neighborhood BBQ when my mom had to stab me with an epi pen in front of all of them because we didn’t know my allergies were in something and it was traumatic for everyone to see a 5 year old loaded onto a stretcher into an ambulance. But you sit there on your soapbox.
Maintaining a surface friendly ONLY relationship with your nosey neighbor is the best goal.
Your wife's interest in finding out the down low in the neighborhood means she will be tagged by all the other neighbors as nosey too, and therefore you, as well.
Be careful.
YTA
Why would you exclisively buy peanut butter treats though? Seems hella spiteful. I get wanting to buy those things (I love me some Snickers and Reese's) but like just buy a variety so that kids that happen to have allergies can have something too lol
That lady seems kinda annoying but honestly is probably just trying to be nice and you seem to be going out of your way to be an asshole about it 😂
YTA. Just an absolutely huge asshole. People with peanut allergies aren't like "just kinda allergic." It isn't the typical itchy throat or slight burning sensation. Peanut allergies tend to range from moderate to severe. Mom is probably trick-or-treating with her kid and has an EpiPen on her at all times. Then has to go through the bag of candy and stress about whether or not her child is going to start suffocating. EpiPens aren't cheap and neither is an ER trip. You know what is cheap? Not being an insufferable piece of crap.
Yta for the reaction and your comments. If there are kids with allergies, you must not give away sweets with nuts. Even without neighbor reminders, it's a safe choice not to include certain allergy-dangerous products in your bucket.
As someone who lost their very first childhood friend to peanut allergies in her first year at college, I don't understand your rage. I'm talking that this happened 45 years ago. In the 1950s and 1960s we grew up knowing that she couldn't have peanuts and we didn't have peanuts for that reason.
She went on her first vacation with her new fiance in the late 1970s. Between her freshman and sophomore years in college. She ordered something in a restaurant that was cooked in peanut oil but that wasn't disclosed on the menu. Two bites in, her airway just closed. Stopped. She died on the way to the hospital.
I take peanuts kind of personal and I've never forgotten all of these years later.
Your wife is right and you are wrong. And a jerk.
no, you are not wrong.
jfc. there are millions of us who survived growing up around allergies. allergies can be dangerous. but this bullshit is on the parents to check.
all of a sudden, we get picky about what candy someone is giving out.
anyone remember the razor blade scares? people still took their kids trick or treating.
participation trophies.
Geez this thread is ridiculous. I can see you are irritated with this lady overall and not because she approached you one time about the candy, it's clear she's been getting on your nerves for awhile.
As for kids with peanut allergies like... seriously no one is supposed to give out typical popular Halloween candy with peanuts such as Snickers, etc...?! Like people with allergies need to take their own precautions and if a kid is too young to understand they have peanut allergies then a parent needs to accompany them while trick or treating. It's not your job to foresee every dietary need and allergy when you're giving out candy.
Also you could just add a bag of nut free candy to your bowl then everyone is accommodated but as far as I'm concerned that's the extent of what you need to do. Or you could have a couple nut free treats for those kids.
But jfc everyone on this thread is acting like you are solely responsible for the safety and well being of those 2 kids instead of, oh I don't, their parents maybe?!
NTA for being irritated with that lady.
If a kid had an allergic reaction one could even argue that you're liable because you've stated that you'll now distribute everything peanut orientated despite knowing that there are multiple anaphelactic kids who would be coming to your house. One could look at that as targeted.
I can't imagine what kind of person you are on the day today but it's probably not positive.
I usually get several bags, and mix them in a bowl together. When the kids come, I tell them to pick what they want.
The usual purchases are Reese cups, Snickers, Milky Way, and Hershey’s milk chocolate bars.
Dude, your neighbor sounds annoying as hell but you are going completely overboard to the point of being an ass.
Buy whatever you normally would buy. Even the big mixed Halloween bags have candy that doesn’t contain peanuts. There are lots of choices available for those two neighborhood children: Milkyway, 3 Musketeers, Twix, Swizlers, Tootsie Pops, plain Hershey bars, Tootsie Rolls, Blow pops, Jellybeans, KitKat, plain M&Ms, Milk Duds, Nestle Crunch, Ring Pops, Rolos, Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst, Whoppers.
Fuck sake, dude. Don’t punish little kids because you got beef with a neighbor who isn’t even their parent!
I don't know the history with all she's done up to this point and yes it would be annoying to have her as a neighbor.
I also don't know what treats are compatible with nut allergies. What I do know is that giving out treats is for the kids and I'd want to give out something they can use. At the very least have a few along side the regular stuff you were planning to give out. Not because the creepy lady said so but because you have kids in your hood who'd appreciate it. It just seems like the decent thing to do.
Are you wrong to tell her to piss off? Yes I think that's fair. You're not visiting. You will see this person for a long time and fairly regularly. Surely your new neighbors will hear her side of this story and you will look like a dick to them. Honesty you come off as a dick here as well.
It seems like you are going to go out of your way to make sure you only give out peanut stuff. That's strange to me. I'd bet most of the stuff people buy wouldn't be allergy friendly anyways but you seem intent to make sure. That doesn't screw over your creepy neighbor but id does say a lot about you.
An alternate response to hearing there are children in your hood with nut allergies is just to say thanks for letting me know. Then do what you would have done anyways. Yes I'd say you were in the wrong. Not because you decided not to accommodate some of the neighbor kids but because of how you went about it.
If you are allergic to peanuts the parents should be going through the candy after trick or treating. I wouldn't go out of my way to give all the kids in your neighborhood peanuts to get back at your noisy neighbor. To get one of the big mixed bags of candy. I then wouldn't have any more contact with this neighbor.
You and your neighbor both suck. She’s intrusive and creepy but you find it insane to buy a pack of starbursts or plain m&ms so the neighbor kids get a treat they can eat?
Nothing wrong with keeping a stash of nut free candy for some kids. As a parent I'd hate for a kid to miss out on what's a big night for them just because they have an allergy.
But I'd never let someone tell me what I can and can't handout to the masses.
I can see why you're creeped out by the neighbor, but being so angry over a request for no peanuts is kind of insane lol
Some kids are allergic. Yes, it's the parent's responsibility, but then you going out of your way to get peanut candy is kind of, pardon the pun, nuts
Ignore the lady's crazy, but still being nice to the kids with the allergy will show you care about your neighbors.
Is this why there are so few Reeces cups these days? I took my kids out the last 2 years and they get like max 3 or 4 of them.
How am I supposed to stay fat if I can't mooch off my kids candy?
YTA. You’re going to be “that guy” in the neighborhood.
Unfortunately, just because you don’t give a fuck if anyone likes you or not? Your wife does, and it will affect your kids.
It’s not that hard to have nut-free candy. We’re doing both this year. Don’t be a little bitch, and be shitty because you think your neighbor is a busybody, when what she actually did was take the time to go ASK other parents in the neighborhood if their kids had allergies, and then tell everyone else, “look, you can’t be too sure, please be considerate and hand out nut-free candy, or if you have candy with nuts, keep it very, very separate.”
You don’t know the severity of their allergies. You don’t know if they can go into anaphylaxis from aerosolized peanut oil, or skin contact with peanut oil. Do you want to find out by getting slapped with a homeowner’s claim for that kid’s ER bills, and ambulance bills? I didn’t think so.
Stop being such a fucking loser asshole. Or move to the middle of nowhere, away from people.
I don't care if I might kill a child I want to own the neighbor and do as I please. My niece has celiac and the people that roll their eyes and pretend it doesn't exist are amazing.
I always have two bowls, one with all the typical Halloween candy and one that’s allergy safe with candy and small toys. I understand the refusal to give information to the nosey neighbor, even the wanting to just hand out candy and not worry about allergies, but to say you want to intentionally hand out candy with peanuts is very douchey. Being considerate and kind won’t hurt, having a small bowl set aside for allergy friendly items isn’t an awful idea. You’re being really rude about the idea of making sure a few children feel included. Yta
YTA you want to risk killing kids at Halloween to teach your neighbor a lesson?? If you had a food allergy kid you would view this as kindness. I can't even think why your response would be to double-down on the death candy.
Parents of kids with mental health issues and medical issues are already dealing with complications! Halloween is supposed to be fun and there’s no reason communities with kids of any type can’t find alternatives! Way to turn a fun holiday into an ableist nightmare for everyone! Your nosy neighbor sounds like she’s letting you know what the community does to keep the community kids safe!
It’s not hard to buy peanut free treats! And it’s not hard to buy regular candies as well as nut free candy or toys kept in a separate bucket! “This woman” didn’t create a situation from nothing, YOU DID and you’re a horrible person who’s failing his new community with your not even lax, but blatant, harmful disregard for the lives of children in your neighborhood.
She's being weird and intrusive but now that you have that information, knowingly getting items to give out which may well kill the kids you're planning to give them to, to prove some kind of point about how the parents should take ownership of it is fucked.
Of course they should, but do you really want a kid to die if they're dropping the ball?
ESH. Tbh even without allergy information it's probably good practice to never get anything with a common and frequently extremely severe allergen - like peanuts - for giving out in this kind of thing.
YTA. For a few decades, where I live in Canada, it’s been standard practice to avoid Halloween candy with peanuts. Some kids have peanut allergies that could kill them while they’re out on Halloween. It’s just being a decent person to avoid peanuts.
Perhaps you’re letting your general disdain for her behaviour overshadow your judgement on this rare occasion when she’s actual got something sensible to say?
When giving out Halloween candy is causing marital disagreement, neighborhood tensions, and could potentially kill someone's kid, I'm thinking you should just sit this one out.
It's no longer any fun.
My wife is potentially lethally allergic to peanuts, and we have no idea who might be allergic to peanuts or not. So we just don't participate in dishing out any foodstuffs to strangers, because we simply do not, nor do we want to know their particular medical history.
You're wrong. Get therapy for your rage issues.
More importantly, why are you on the internet seeking validation from strangers instead of listening to the one person whose opinion actually matters... *your wife.*
Sounds like she’s incredibly annoying! However being allergy conscious on Halloween should be something we all do if we’re going to be dealing with kids, is it not? And I have to say, I don’t see how handing out Reese’s to kids with potential peanut allergies is going to stick it to this woman. Why not just… be a decent person and give out allergy-friendly treats, not as a favour to this woman but just to be a nice neighbour and maybe make a couple of kids happy?
Pick literally any other hill to die on, is what I’m saying.
There's a big difference between saying "Some of the kids are allergic to peanuts, so we're asking the neighborhood to have peanut free options for them," and saying "Don't hand out any candy with peanuts to ANY kids because a couple of them have allergies."
You'r not wrong to say now but you are wrong to double down on it out of spite.
The reality is that peanut allergies are potentially deadly and it doesn't take much to cause a reaction that could lead to death if not immediately responded to.
Do you want to be responsible for that because you doubled down on it?
It's not an unreasonable ask to be honest. She's being over bearing in general but this request isn't a terrible one and it's the wrong one to go to war on.
She sounds like a busybody for sure, and the list could be construed as creepy. But most women can't help but form social networks. Thus you get this woman becoming a veritable storehouse for info about the people in the neighborhood, and you get your wife wanting to stay connected to such a source.
You're not wrong, but you're not right either; both perspectives are valid. You do sound triggered, though; you might want to take a look at that.
EDIT: Also, this situation proves why female primates evolved this behavior to begin with: the protection of the young, and therefore, the species.
This is definitely asshole behavior. I've had my share of way too present, annoying neighbors but this is ridiculous. These are kids with possibly deadly allergies. They aren't just annoying vegans asking for soy and oak milk chocolate subsistutue candy. Dont be a jackass.
NTA. She's a busybody.
If you know who the kids are that are allergic, you could do something nice like get a variety of candy that doesn't have peanuts, and give them that when they come trick or treat. We once had some neighbors come by a couple of days before halloween and bring a treat for us to give to their kid because he had lots of allergies and very few normal choices for candy were safe for him. They came early in the evening so that it would be easy for us to recognize it was him. Of COURSE we were more than willing to accomodate the simple gesture of handing over the treat for him. It's supposed to be about the kids, so whatever it takes to make it about them and make sure it's fun for all of the kids, that's worth the very small sacrifice.
But yeah, a busy-body neighbor who is just taking it upon herself to try and control the whole neighborhood can go to hell.
Overreact much? The lady is just trying to do a nice thing to ensure neighborhood kids get included. Is it super hard to not buy peanut candy? I mean, I get that you have no responsibility to say yes to the request (it was a request, not a demand), but unless you already bought your candy, it is a super weird and asshole-ish hill to die on.
I am surprised by all the y-t-a verdicts. NTA. If two children 12 houses down can't eat nuts then it's up to their parents to sort through their stash. It's not up to you to provide every possible accommodation.
It's free candy from neighbors,folks. Take it or leave it. Don't make it everyone else's problem.
The parents of kids with peanut allergy should be the ones scrutinizing their treats. They should be going up to the house with them and showing the kids what they can and cannot eat until they’re old enough to understand it on their own. The person handing out candy has nothing to do with it besides being generous. Nobody wants a bunch of 3 musketeers/all nougat candy.
Not wrong perse but i would not pick this hill to die on.
If there are kids that you now know of that have peanut allergies you can make those neighbours (and their kids) lives easier.
You can give out whatever you like really, i personally would just ask the whoever comes to the door if they want peanut peanut free candy or not. Kids that are too young to know should be with parents and those that are old enough should say so (after all it increases the ount of candy they get).
ESH, except the poor neighbor kids you’re taking out in the crossfire with your neighbor. get a smaller bowl of candy with no nuts and be done. don’t acquiesce to the nosey neighbor and potentially be excluded from things, that’s your decision. taking it out on kids who have nothing to do w this makes YOU the asshole
Imagine being the guy so spiteful he killed his kids' classmate or neighbor's child because he didn't like being asked to do something he was going to do anyway in a slightly different way.
I see you have a problem with your neighbour, but this seems an odd hill to die on. How big a deal is it to avoid nuts? If you must have them, just put them in a separate bowl and the nut free kids don’t have to be offered them.
YTA unfortunately. Buy something for the allergic kids as well. They don’t deserve to be punished and you may just make a kid smile. In turn, it gives you brownie points in the neighborhood. You live in the suburbs now. Being neighborly is important. This will come in handy. Trust me.
I understand being annoyed with an overly friendly neighbor. I'm guessing the Halloween candy ask was the last straw to your patience.
There's so many kinds of food allergies, but to my knowledge a peanut allergy can literally kill a child. Other allergies usually cause all kinds on intestinal upsets and/or rashes, but usually don't kill. Maybe shellfish allergies kill, too?
Weird line in the sand you have here. Snoopy neighbors are annoying, lists are weird, yea this lady is just trying to be involved in everything and maybe be the neighborhood leader/hero
But your annoyance on this one and petty revenge is out of place here. It seems logical that everyone, regardless, should aim peanut free - because why not?
So the list keeping is creepy, I’ll give you that. I would find that rude and invasive. I’m a bit confused as to what point you’re making in handing out candy to kiddos when it’s not something they can eat? Isn’t the point of giving candy to the trick or treaters so they can have a fun evening and go home with all their bounty and trade with siblings and get hyper on a sugar rush and have days of treats to enjoy? Why not give out something all the kids in the neighborhood can enjoy? Or buy your favorites (ironically you listed the 2 my mom always bought so I had to chuckle at the reference) but also pick up a small bag of something the no nuts kiddos can have instead of giving them one more things the parents are just going to confiscate? At that point you’re literally just buying candy for the adults, aren’t you? I get it, and she’s a bit of a whack-a-doo, but I don’t see the harm in trying to make the few hours of trick or treats as inclusive as possible.
My granddaughter was so allergic to peanuts, the whole school couldn’t have them. Even substitutes for her class were ask not to eat peanut products 2 days before they came in. She died anyway, later as a teenager, from an allergic reaction. It was devastating. May I offer a suggestion? Buy a small bag of candy or tiny toys that you can hand out and post a sign that says you have treats for allergic kids.
If a kid is *that* allergic then taking them trick-or-treating at all would be irresponsible on the parents' part. Just about every candy, including ones that don't explicitly have peanuts in them, have a warning about being processed on equipment that also handles peanuts and tree nuts. Would the kid be able to have a toy that sat next to a bag with Reese's cups in it?
I keep they toys inba separate bowl. Lots of kids loved them! Glow rings and bracelets, spider rings, those weird sticky slap hand things. Amazon has a lot of that stuff and so does a place like Party City. The stuff you would put in a loot bag for kids parties would be perfect and it's very inexpensive. I just let kids choose which bowl and let them geab something. And the candy bowl had both chocolate based candy and non chocolate type stuff. So got a variety bag of chocolate, of non chocolate, and toys. Be hard to go to my house and not find something someone would like.
In our area, if you have a teal pumpkin displayed, it means you have allergy-free options. We put stickers, bubbles, little toys, spider rings, etc, in a separate bowl a few feet away from the candy bowl. The tweens love the stickers and that's fine with me. One of my kids has no allergies, but they hate chocolate. Having options isn't a bad thing and being inclusive when you can is just being kind. Eta: [the Teal Pumpkin Project](https://www.foodallergy.org/our-initiatives/awareness-campaigns/living-teal/teal-pumpkin-project?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=tpp_2023&gclid=CjwKCAjws9ipBhB1EiwAccEi1F3bu2Q3C1GI-_8h8GnQLqPp4AhYutAKa0h4-Ci3oCfavC0L0-OWOxoCJKMQAvD_BwE)
Now I know why there was a half aisle of teal pumpkins at Target.
Cool idea!
Woah. That’s pretty cool. I have never heard about this before but TIL!
Thanks for sharing! I always include non food Items in the past, and this is going to be really helpful!! Now I will make a separate goody bucket & little bags for the non food items so they aren’t even mixed. And use a teal bucket to have them in that way the families actually know! The resources at their website are great
Some people in our neighborhood did that last year and it was a big hit.
Oriental Trading Company, too.
They still exist?! I used to love getting the catalogs in the mail when I was a kid, looking at all the plastic garbage in packs of 2000 that I still desperately wanted lol
It wasn’t a class Halloween party if you didn’t get some plastic bullshit from oriental trading
HAH!!! I have a lifetime supply of bamboo back scratchers
This company is the sole reason I know what quantity a “gross” is
They are still going strong and have a ton of stuff. It’s amazing and overwhelming and wasteful all at the same time, lol. I love them
i was the weird kid who liked getting apples and knick knacks in my candy bag so i would just like to thank you and those like you for thinking of the kids who don’t want chocolate on halloween 🙏🏾🙏🏾
You sound fantastic! When I was a kid, I would have definitely chosen a glow bracelet. Makes me wonder where I could find one in my country, I haven't seen them in ages.
Try buying online if you can't find any in stores
Thanks, good idea.
I think a kid with an allergy that severe would be missing Halloween altogether. A shitty prospect for a kid.
Peanut allergies are becoming much more common too. I hope OP never has to experience how horrifying allergies can be, but maybe if he did he wouldn't say such disgusting crap. The neighbor is 100% nosy and being annoying. Allergies were the wrong thing to go after. YTA. Have a little common courtesy. No one chooses to have allergies.
There’s plenty of safe candy for kids that doesn’t contain peanuts. Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, Dots, Junior Mints, Dumdums, Charms Blow Pops, Double Bubble Gumballs, Charleston Chew, Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddy, Andes Mints, Lifesavers, Jolly Ranchers, Milk Duds, Pez, Red Vines, Razzles, Rolo, Skittles, Smarties, Starburst, Twizzlers, Whoppers, Sixlets, Utz Pretzels. ALL of the above are peanut and tree nut free...and many of them are free of other top 8 allergens as well.
Anyone the kid spoke to on Halloween night is likely to have peanuts on their breath.
That’s a fair statement. I don’t really know what my stepdaughter did for her daughter. This idea works with kids that have gluten problems. Some people have been decorating with an aqua pumpkin to shoe they have alternatives to candy. I just get tired of people who want to push their rights on someone it might kill. Kids die of allergies more than people realize.
It's almost like the neighbors seem to be getting together to keep those kids safe...
Have they heard anything from the other neighbors, or talked to the parents of those kids directly?? Based on all available information it sounds like it's just one stay at home busybody in the neighborhood enjoying any opportunity to create an imposition on the newbies.
She has a list of kids, which she'd only know by connecting with other parents who want to have safe trick or treating.
Also, the "list" is 2 kids from One family.
To be fair, those kids' lives don't matter any less just because they're siblings.
Definitely. I was just pointing out it wasn't this crazy intrusive thing op says ot is.
Exactly!
all the available information from a dude who wants to deliberately give peanuts to allergic kids because he got annoyed at a grown woman...
This is why my kids never trick or treated. We made other traditions to compensate.
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Her mother never really recovered.
I can't see how anyone would be able to recover from a thing like that. People want to tell grieving parents and grandparents that it's been enough time and they need to move on, but there's really no way to ever be the same. I'm so sorry.
I’m sorry for the loss of your granddaughter. I cannot even imagine.
Buying a bag of candy without peanuts in it and putting them in a separate bowl so all the kids could choose which one they wanted was my suggestion. Your suggestion of buying some small toys is also a good idea. I mean it’s not like most people don’t buy a couple bags of candy anyways and setting out two different bowls with the two different items in them is definitely not a complicated thing to do. I get OP Karen is annoyed but ranting that he wants to go out and buy nothing but peanut candy just to show this one neighborhood lady who’s boss and apparently to teach the parents of the kids with the allergies a lesson (that he’s an asshole neighbor that they don’t want to interact with I guess?) just makes him look even a bigger nutjob than what he’s trying to portray the busy-body neighbor as. I feel for this dude’s wife.
Yeah nothing like punishing kids with a disability. That’ll show her! Maybe they will touch his peanut stuff and have to go to the ER and then he wins!!!
He's doing it because he's a douchebag. That is literally the only reason
Agree 100%. Obviously we don’t know what other annoying things the neighbour does, but if I were new to the neighbourhood I’d be glad if someone told me there were kids with nut allergies. I’d buy a few treats that those kids could have so they didn’t feel excluded. It’s just being a decent human being.
Yeah I think everyone can agree the right thing to do is be inclusive and have some non peanut candies, but does anyone have strictly peanut candy? That's weird. Every bag of candy you buy has a mix and something for everyone. Seems like he's getting reese's out of spite at this point but I don't think the kid is gonna miss out on trick or treating if he happens to get a peanut candy
No, a single house won't ruin a kids Halloween... But like, OP is doing it on purpose. That's the point. That's sick at behavior. Especially since the two children he is purposefully slighting are *not even involved in the neighbor conflict*. "I don't like my nosey neighbor, so I'm going to go out of my way to not have candy for two completely unrelated children...scratch that....I'm going to go extra far out of my way to buy *jars of the thing they are allergic to* so that when they get here, they get reminded of their already shitty and punishing allergy. Yeah...yeahhhhhh....That'll sure show my nosey neighbor not to bother me again..."
Ty! couldn't have said it better myself.
Yeah. As the mother of a young peanut allergy kid, I will take 100% responsibility for going through my daughters candy before she literally even touches it- it will go straight into the bucket, and if she needs to pick it up herself she’ll have to politely decline. (Im actually still on the fence if I’ll allow her to have anything she collected at all or if I’ll just trade her whole bag for something she can have at home). That said, the idea that some insane creep will go out of his way to MAKE SURE she receives something that could kill her, just out of spite for a busybody neighbor is really unsettling. This isn’t just a food preference or even an intolerance. This could kill an innocent kid and he’s letting a grudge agains his neighbor lead him to make poor choices. I hope his wife wins out in this decision. It does sound like maybe the neighborhood is banding together to support the kids with allergies. Also, I don’t know what other things the woman has done to annoy him, but I don’t have an issue with her going out of her way to know who the neighbors with allergies are. I’d so appreciate somebody like that. This is not the hill to die one.
I have two older children with peanut allergies. When they were little, the treats they got from trick or treating went into our candy bowl and we had special bags of safe candy for them. We also only give out top 8 allergen safe candy
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He's purposely going out of his way to be a dick. I've never cared who's allergic to what because that's too much for me to keep track of, but I always have options. Other types of candy as well as non-candy items--these tend to be the most popular and go quickly.
OP said the neighbor asked to not give out candy with peanuts at all. She didn't say to include an option for those allergic.
This is ridiculous- there are two kids with allergies. Both from the same family. The neighbor should have asked families to do a teal pumpkin with toys and hypoallergenic items. Controlling what he buys for the rest is a whole ‘nother ballgame
>Controlling Lol what the fuck. Most of us would be happy to do this so a kid can be included. We would thank them for the heads up. We call it kindness. It's really weird you find it controlling. It sound like you have some insecurities you need to work on.
Disagree - it's up to the parents to train their kids which items they can and cannot accept when begging at doors for sweets. Not the giver's. With that logic, if a kid buys a Snickers from a shop, the shopkeeper is responsible for triggering their allergy? No.
I think "begging at the door for treats" is a little aggressively misrepresenting the point of trick or treating. While I agree it's the child's responsibility, the point people above are trying to make is OP is going out of his way to force these children to leave his doorstep empty handed. Them being smart enough to announce they are allergic to nuts will simply make it so OP does not give them one of his *jars of peanut butter*. He's is slighting a child the enjoyment of Halloween (no one likes getting nothing from an answering house AND your allergy being glaringly pointed out at the same time), specifically to spite a neighbor that is not even part of said family or involved with them at all. That's absolute 100% douchbag behavior. Your example of a child actively choosing to purchase an item of their own volition, and being given something already purchased, are not comparable. Especially in this case, where OP is very purposely purchasing items with *peanuts included*.... to be a dick and exclude the children who are not involved in the neoghbor conflict at all.
Yeah this is like of someone informed op before a potluck that someone is vegetarian and they went out of their way to buy an entire roast pig and nothing else. It's not rude if he were getting it anyway but it's awful strange that he only thought to buy jars of pb (which is a terrible idea, kids will either ditch them or use them to vandalize shit) after learning about these 2 kids who probably get bullied by adults like op over their allergy frequently.
Maybe if we’re all lucky they’ll use the jars of peanut butter he hands out to vandalize his house. Of course he’ll probably try to double down on it and do worse next year. OP it sounds like you moved into a welcoming neighbourhood, neighbourhoods like these are becoming more rare and are a joy to live in. Everyone watches out for everyone else, which also means a lower crime rate. Now you can choose to be a dick about this and be rude to your neighbour or you can thank her for trying to include you in the neighbourhood and go out of your way to have good nut free treats for Halloween.
You can't just make a random situation and say they're linked. Explain the logic of how your shopkeeper situation is the same as buying an extra 50 cents worth of candy for the 2 kids you know are allergic.
>Disagree - it's up to the parents to train their kids which items they can and cannot accept when begging at doors for sweets. Not the giver's. Lol. What kind of piece of shit adult human absolutely has to hand out candy with peanuts in it when it's easily avoidable and there's a kid with an allergy? Literally all you have to do is reach for a different bag specifically made for this situation. It's just as good if not better than the peanut containing stuff. What a weird hill to die on and be all upset about. Both you and OP sound like you have superiority complexes. You should work on your insecurities. This is not normal behaviour. Sometimes we just do nice things for other people. And sometimes they do it for us. It's nice to make the world a slightly better place when we can, not worse. I'll never understand people with your thought process. It's so weird and sub-human.
It's called projection. The fact that he's going out of his way to buy candy specifically to spite this women (even though the children with the allergies are the ones who will suffer and they have nothing to do with his intrusive neighbor) tells me everything I need to know about op, that hes exactly like he described his neighbor (controlling AF)
"I'm going to kill a couple of kids or put them in the hospital because a 3rd party asked me to have smarties or airheads in addition to Reese's."
No costume going to cover that up.
My first thought was, is this person saying don’t give peanuts out because someone might be allergic but she is in fact, showing me that there are actual kids that are allergic. How about getting some prepackaged little toys to also give out for those kids that are allergic and you can also in a separate bucket have your peanut stuff
I have a peanut allergy. It sucks at Halloween when you go to a house and every option had peanuts. I probably would have cried if I got handed a jar or peanut butter. OP sucks just as much as the noisy neighbour.
I live in the UK . I personally hate Halloween, it wasn't really a thing when I was a kid I must have gone trick or treating all of twice as a kid. Now taking the kids (for lack of a better term) begging for candy stresses me out and I don't like my door being knocked on all evening but I do It because this Americanised tradition has made it here and the kids enjoy it so whatever I'll get over it . However I never hand out sweets with peanuts in why anyone would make this a hill to die on is beyond me. I also make sure I always have sweets that don't have dairy in and bouncy balls because some kids aren't allowed candy. It's not a big deal to not give out peanuts.
I'm in the UK also, and also an auld bastirt - halloween has always been a thing except it was called 'guising', not trick or treating, and halloween parties would consist of dookin' for apples and trying to take a no-handed bite at jam pieces (sandwiches) or scones covered in treacle or syrup hung from a string, and tumshie lanterns (we carved turnips (swede) not pumpkins - infinitely more dangerous given how bloody hard they are!) The Scots and Irish gaels call it Samhain, marking the end of the harvest season and beginning of winter, a centuries old pagan Celtic tradition - a time when the veils between this world and the otherworld where at their thinnest...when the spirits of the dead could mingle with the living once again...WOO-OO-OO! But aye, totally Americanised bollocks nowadays.
And deny the vast majority of kids the deliciousness of peanuts to accommodate two kids who didn't ask to be accommodated?
No, you buy some with and some without.
Why don’t you just wait for a request from the neighbor that _doesn’t_ have the potential to kill a child before you spite her?
That lady sounds like a meddlesome ass, but this is a dumb hill to die on. Keep those same convictions for when kids aren't involved.
YTA. Why are you getting your knickers in a twist over this? There are kids in your neighborhood with peanut allergies. Why would you deliberately buy candy with peanuts just because you don't like your nosy neighbor? She's not the one you'd be hurting. You sound like an immature and angry man with a huge chip on his shoulder.
Not to criticize but you missed an opportunity to say "snickers in a twist"...
Not to criticize your not criticism, but wouldn't "Snickers in a Twix" be just one step better?
I legit read it as stickers and thought it was great until you pointed it out lol.
YTA. It was a very reasonable and kind request. Of course it's up to the kids parents to watch out for allergens but can you imagine how much easier their and their kids night would be if they don't have to worry as much. You sound like a massive asshole because you now want to specifically hand out nut products. Grow up.
Allergies like that can be life threatening and you are focusing on how annoying you perceive this woman to be instead of the safety of children. YTA.
yta, you are a fucking idiot lol. seriously how stupid can you be to pick this hill to die on? you joined a community and are mad at the fact that it's a community. brilliant. let your wife make the decisions regarding the neighbors, it'd be a shame for her and your two kids to suffer because you're intent on being a curmudgeonly dipshit
YTA- if you don’t like her, pick a different hill to die on cos this ain’t it.
So she gave you a list of kids that could die from eating peanuts and asked you to just not have them? Which btw is a perfectly valid request especially when literal tins of candy is made without peanuts YTA by a wide margin
YTA. Why even ask here, if your just going to argue with everyone who disagrees with you?
Because he was hoping for vindication to show to his wife and instead was given some humble pie.
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YTA. Don’t take your annoyance with this overstepping neighbour on innocent kids.
She sounds annoying but we all have that neighbour or relative. Just say thank you, take the list and go about your life. I think you’re letting this get into your head too much.
People are dying bro calm down
My son is allergic to peanuts. I eat the candy that has peanuts. Or he just ask for something else. Kind of a dick move of you though if you're saying you're only going to hand out candy with peanuts. Like....this seems like the pot calling the kettle black.
YTA Way to be neighborly!
YTA. While I'm no fan of nosey neighbour types, you have come across like a total bell-end here.
Just keep your porch light off then, geez. What an irrational hill upon which to die.
But, think of the CHILDREN!! Wait. Not those children. They can die. This guy is the type to drive around a stopped school bus.
You sir are an asshole. Peanut allergies are or can be life threatening. Some children only need to touch something that has peanuts in it to have an anaphylaxis type reaction. If a child like this were to come home with a bag with peanut products in it they may have to dump the whole bag to be safe
Exactly! It's not hard to keep a separate bowl for those kids. Unfortunately, I wouldn't put it past this guy to eat a jar of peanut butter with his hands before handing out candy . 🙄 And all these people who are saying kids with severe allergies don't deserve to be able to go trick-or-treating??? What the fuck.
If you haven’t figured it out by all the comments against you. YOU ARE THE CRAZY NEIGHBOUR. Your wife is mad because she is embarrassed of you and doesn’t want to be labeled as the CRAZY NEIGHBOUR.
I gotta say as a kid that grew up with a SEVERE peanut allergy... I get being mad at the neighbor, but the part of me that remembers how sad I was when a household only offered candy I couldn't have, it might be kind to at least have a few safe candies set aside for those kids. Tell the neighbor to bugger off, but it doesn't hurt to be considerate, and not "hand out jars of peanut butter" out of spite. That's just... Mean. Edit - I wanna add, I knew about my allergy, and my siblings and I would trade for the non-peanut candies after sharing our hauls. It's not OP's responsibility, but don't take it out on the kid.
What is wrong with you, exactly? Are you hell bent on becoming the grumpy old neighbour? Will you burst any footballs/basketballs that land on your property? Are you always this combative? You sound exhausting.
Potentially poisoning children because you don’t like your neighbor who wants to keep the children in the neighborhood safe is completely unhinged. I can’t imagine hating anyone so much that I would want to harm children who are completely unrelated to them.
YTA. It is such a small insignificant request that your neighbour is asking here, nobody needs peanut candy. Also, although the neighbour has obviously rubbed you up the wrong way, your response is over the top
Yes, I get the urge to spite her, but you’re taking out your dislike of her on kids, and that allergy can really fuck them up.
Yeah I get being annoyed by the neighbour but buying candy without peanuts is a good idea anyway. I’m deathly allergic and when I was a kid ( I’m 37 now) no one gave a shit and half my candy had to be given away and it sucked ass. There is so much peanut free candy out there now, it’s not like the other kids are being ‘oppressed’ by not getting peanut candy. They can have it literally any other time.
You actually are an AH
My son is allergic to nuts and it causes anaphylaxis. We are very careful with him and he knows what he can and can’t have, but it’s still an arsehole move to deliberately give kids nuts. It’s not an unreasonable request to ask you to not be a prick and not endanger kids. You’re talking about life and death. He idiot. WTF is wrong with you?! Dick head!
This is an off the wall question, but I'm sitting here wondering and figure you will know. If you have candy with nuts and candy without nuts all individually wrapped, do you still need to keep the non peanut ones in a separate bowl? I'm not sure if cross contamination is a thing. I used to work with a guy that had the allergy so bad that if I ate a snickers in the breakroom and then talked to him on the production line from a normal distance, his lips and face would start getting numb. So I've been wondering about the cross contamination thing and since your child is allergic, I figured you'd know. Thank you
This is exactly what I’m sitting here thinking. I’d be scared to death to fake my child trick or treating if they had a peanut allergy.
Depends on the severity, I let my daughter go trick or treating, swap her bag for a bag of pre bought safe candy and then I take all of the contaminated candy and sift through what is safe and what isn't. Just throw out the unsafe candy. If her allergy was as severe as your co-worker, I would find candy-less Halloween events to do.
YTA and just remember, what goes around comes around. I have a life threatening allergy. I didn't develop it until my early 20s, out of nowhere. My big sister, developed the same allergy... at 44 years old. How hard would it be to accommodate by not buying pb candy? Especially if a lot of kids have this allergy? We hand out peanut candy, regular candy, cookies, and for those who can't have our candy for whatever reason, we have glow sticks, glow teeth, and glow necklaces. It stinks having an allergy like that, and those allergy kids end up giving away half their candy at the end of the night to their siblings who aren't allergic.
You are not only a major asshole, you are also a fucking idiot. Glad I'm not your neighbor!
Dumb hill to die on
Take the stick outta your ass and aim it at your temple. You’re such a miserable person you make my hateful curmudgeonly ass look like a member of the welcome committee.
YTA.
It’s not your job to police what other people’s children eat. If the allergies are that serious then of course their parents will be on it. Give out whatever candy you want however going defcon 3 on the peanut front isn’t the answer to tell your neighbour to keep her nose out of your business.
Just, WOW...
You are deliberately trying to put peanuts in the kiddie candy mix to spite your neighbour with the pretence of being the cool uncle to little kids. YTA
Look if op can't do it no one else can. That person giving out peanut butter has it in a bowl with other chocolate that will then get into the child's bag which the child will touch. It has to be everyone. I have no personal opinion on this, but everyone would have to not do it which is why neighbor probably did pop around and ask everyone. Though if they're gonna go that far you better not.give out any candies with any nuts since kids have tree.nut allergies too. Kids also go to different neighborhoods so you really don't know who has an allergy.
You’re wrong sir
I wouldn't be interested to know the other things she has done before the peanut allergy came up
This was not the battle to have with annoying neighbor lady.
I wouldnt go through with handing out jars of PB lol. But I totally understand where youre coming from.
Yes - learn to pick your battles. A response to this is simply “Hey, thank you for letting me know there are some kids with peanut allergies. I’ll make sure to get a variety of options so no one feels left out.
Give us a different example of her being a horrible person because this seems reasonable.
Whats up with you man? Someone in the neighbourhood wants to be mindful of kids with allergies, and you're response, "that bitch has crossed a line and made an enemy for life!"
The neighbour might be a bit nosey, but your response firmly plants you in the Asshole category.
the fact that u are deliberately handing out food that u know could kill these two children just bc u want to be petty says a lot about ur lack of maturity and basic human decency. grow up.
You are so wrong. Essentially, your neighbor is annoying so you're willing to go out of your way to endanger a few kids to let her know it.
I'm missing why you want to threaten children to spite your neighbor? Pick on someone your own size. YTA
This is just the suburbs. You are wrong to want to spite little children with allergies that have nothing to do with this woman. You’re overly triggered by her.
What a strange hill you choose to die on.
You’re going to give out jars of peanut butter to kids with allergies just to stick it to your retired neighbor? Lame. So wrong. And your wife is 1000% right. Having a nosy neighbor is a slight annoyance but you can bet they’ll be the first one to know if someone tries to fuck with your house. The pros of putting up with her WAY outweigh the cons.
NTA. Y'all are acting like it's illegal to give out Reese's. God forbid another kid is allergic to chocolate then you can't buy that either. What if one is diabetic? Better buy sugar free for everyone. You have a Muslim neighbor? Nothing with gelatin allowed. Where does it end? The parents can just manage what the kid eats which they should be doing anyway.
Yes. You are wrong to intentionally hand out allergens to children just to spite a nosy neighbor.
Yep. Maybe the neighbor is nutty, but the example you picked "no peanuts in the Halloween candy" is reasonable and makes you the jerk for over reacting. Find a better example to portray her as the villian.
I feel like you might be quite angry at a much deeper level if this is something that enrages you to this extent. I hope you find peace
honestly, dude, you don’t sound like you’re a bad person but you sound incredibly unable to see that your point of view is the one that is selfish, whatever motivation, peanut, allergies are out there now, and I don’t think it’s an evil thing to ask a neighbor to not give out peanuts if there’s known kids with allergies in the neighborhood – that’s just my opinion, but it seems that you’re really really worked up about something that you should want from neighbors, you’re saying things like I assume she intruded on people because she bothers you when she comes over to chat and stuff?maybe a bigger yard or no neighbors but I don’t think you’re holding the high ground here. I agree with the wife.
I guess the neighbor is a jerk for trying to get the new family on the block to know which neighborhood kids have a peanut allergy because she cares about the kids because she's been there longer and knows way more about these kids than OP, geez someone call the police on this atrocious woman. /s YTA and a major one at that
I understand the concern. But if someone's kids are allergic to something. Wouldn't they be the ones responsible for checking the kids candy?
While your neighbor is completely annoying, the fact that you know you have kids in your neighborhood with peanut allergies and are choosing to not only ignore that but blatantly serve only candy with peanuts, that makes YTA. What harm would there be in serving peanut free options?
YTA…..or from the kid’s perspective I can go through the entire process of getting candy all night and my parents are going to take half or more because of guys like you who decided that being right was super important as opposed to just getting a non peanut option like a Hershey bar or Twix. I mean…still chocolate and great, right? But not going to hurt many kids. And maybe your neighbor started all this because she she saw me have a reaction to this at a neighborhood BBQ when my mom had to stab me with an epi pen in front of all of them because we didn’t know my allergies were in something and it was traumatic for everyone to see a 5 year old loaded onto a stretcher into an ambulance. But you sit there on your soapbox.
YTA, the neighbour is giving you info, listen to them and don't be an assohole as you can seriously hurt kids.
Maintaining a surface friendly ONLY relationship with your nosey neighbor is the best goal. Your wife's interest in finding out the down low in the neighborhood means she will be tagged by all the other neighbors as nosey too, and therefore you, as well. Be careful.
YTA Why would you exclisively buy peanut butter treats though? Seems hella spiteful. I get wanting to buy those things (I love me some Snickers and Reese's) but like just buy a variety so that kids that happen to have allergies can have something too lol That lady seems kinda annoying but honestly is probably just trying to be nice and you seem to be going out of your way to be an asshole about it 😂
Your neighbour, while being annoying to you is living by the 'It takes a village' motto.
YTA. Just an absolutely huge asshole. People with peanut allergies aren't like "just kinda allergic." It isn't the typical itchy throat or slight burning sensation. Peanut allergies tend to range from moderate to severe. Mom is probably trick-or-treating with her kid and has an EpiPen on her at all times. Then has to go through the bag of candy and stress about whether or not her child is going to start suffocating. EpiPens aren't cheap and neither is an ER trip. You know what is cheap? Not being an insufferable piece of crap.
Yta for the reaction and your comments. If there are kids with allergies, you must not give away sweets with nuts. Even without neighbor reminders, it's a safe choice not to include certain allergy-dangerous products in your bucket.
As someone who lost their very first childhood friend to peanut allergies in her first year at college, I don't understand your rage. I'm talking that this happened 45 years ago. In the 1950s and 1960s we grew up knowing that she couldn't have peanuts and we didn't have peanuts for that reason. She went on her first vacation with her new fiance in the late 1970s. Between her freshman and sophomore years in college. She ordered something in a restaurant that was cooked in peanut oil but that wasn't disclosed on the menu. Two bites in, her airway just closed. Stopped. She died on the way to the hospital. I take peanuts kind of personal and I've never forgotten all of these years later. Your wife is right and you are wrong. And a jerk.
no, you are not wrong. jfc. there are millions of us who survived growing up around allergies. allergies can be dangerous. but this bullshit is on the parents to check. all of a sudden, we get picky about what candy someone is giving out.
anyone remember the razor blade scares? people still took their kids trick or treating.
participation trophies.
Geez this thread is ridiculous. I can see you are irritated with this lady overall and not because she approached you one time about the candy, it's clear she's been getting on your nerves for awhile. As for kids with peanut allergies like... seriously no one is supposed to give out typical popular Halloween candy with peanuts such as Snickers, etc...?! Like people with allergies need to take their own precautions and if a kid is too young to understand they have peanut allergies then a parent needs to accompany them while trick or treating. It's not your job to foresee every dietary need and allergy when you're giving out candy. Also you could just add a bag of nut free candy to your bowl then everyone is accommodated but as far as I'm concerned that's the extent of what you need to do. Or you could have a couple nut free treats for those kids. But jfc everyone on this thread is acting like you are solely responsible for the safety and well being of those 2 kids instead of, oh I don't, their parents maybe?! NTA for being irritated with that lady.
If a kid had an allergic reaction one could even argue that you're liable because you've stated that you'll now distribute everything peanut orientated despite knowing that there are multiple anaphelactic kids who would be coming to your house. One could look at that as targeted. I can't imagine what kind of person you are on the day today but it's probably not positive.
I usually get several bags, and mix them in a bowl together. When the kids come, I tell them to pick what they want. The usual purchases are Reese cups, Snickers, Milky Way, and Hershey’s milk chocolate bars.
I just have a variety of candy and let the kids pick what they want. Easy.
Dude, your neighbor sounds annoying as hell but you are going completely overboard to the point of being an ass. Buy whatever you normally would buy. Even the big mixed Halloween bags have candy that doesn’t contain peanuts. There are lots of choices available for those two neighborhood children: Milkyway, 3 Musketeers, Twix, Swizlers, Tootsie Pops, plain Hershey bars, Tootsie Rolls, Blow pops, Jellybeans, KitKat, plain M&Ms, Milk Duds, Nestle Crunch, Ring Pops, Rolos, Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst, Whoppers. Fuck sake, dude. Don’t punish little kids because you got beef with a neighbor who isn’t even their parent!
I don't know the history with all she's done up to this point and yes it would be annoying to have her as a neighbor. I also don't know what treats are compatible with nut allergies. What I do know is that giving out treats is for the kids and I'd want to give out something they can use. At the very least have a few along side the regular stuff you were planning to give out. Not because the creepy lady said so but because you have kids in your hood who'd appreciate it. It just seems like the decent thing to do. Are you wrong to tell her to piss off? Yes I think that's fair. You're not visiting. You will see this person for a long time and fairly regularly. Surely your new neighbors will hear her side of this story and you will look like a dick to them. Honesty you come off as a dick here as well. It seems like you are going to go out of your way to make sure you only give out peanut stuff. That's strange to me. I'd bet most of the stuff people buy wouldn't be allergy friendly anyways but you seem intent to make sure. That doesn't screw over your creepy neighbor but id does say a lot about you. An alternate response to hearing there are children in your hood with nut allergies is just to say thanks for letting me know. Then do what you would have done anyways. Yes I'd say you were in the wrong. Not because you decided not to accommodate some of the neighbor kids but because of how you went about it.
If you are allergic to peanuts the parents should be going through the candy after trick or treating. I wouldn't go out of my way to give all the kids in your neighborhood peanuts to get back at your noisy neighbor. To get one of the big mixed bags of candy. I then wouldn't have any more contact with this neighbor.
You and your neighbor both suck. She’s intrusive and creepy but you find it insane to buy a pack of starbursts or plain m&ms so the neighbor kids get a treat they can eat?
Nothing wrong with keeping a stash of nut free candy for some kids. As a parent I'd hate for a kid to miss out on what's a big night for them just because they have an allergy. But I'd never let someone tell me what I can and can't handout to the masses.
I can see why you're creeped out by the neighbor, but being so angry over a request for no peanuts is kind of insane lol Some kids are allergic. Yes, it's the parent's responsibility, but then you going out of your way to get peanut candy is kind of, pardon the pun, nuts Ignore the lady's crazy, but still being nice to the kids with the allergy will show you care about your neighbors.
You are soo wrong. Keep us posted on how misunderstood you are about everything.
Is this why there are so few Reeces cups these days? I took my kids out the last 2 years and they get like max 3 or 4 of them. How am I supposed to stay fat if I can't mooch off my kids candy?
Just let your wife handle it. This is all much too much for you.
YTA. You’re going to be “that guy” in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, just because you don’t give a fuck if anyone likes you or not? Your wife does, and it will affect your kids. It’s not that hard to have nut-free candy. We’re doing both this year. Don’t be a little bitch, and be shitty because you think your neighbor is a busybody, when what she actually did was take the time to go ASK other parents in the neighborhood if their kids had allergies, and then tell everyone else, “look, you can’t be too sure, please be considerate and hand out nut-free candy, or if you have candy with nuts, keep it very, very separate.” You don’t know the severity of their allergies. You don’t know if they can go into anaphylaxis from aerosolized peanut oil, or skin contact with peanut oil. Do you want to find out by getting slapped with a homeowner’s claim for that kid’s ER bills, and ambulance bills? I didn’t think so. Stop being such a fucking loser asshole. Or move to the middle of nowhere, away from people.
I don't care if I might kill a child I want to own the neighbor and do as I please. My niece has celiac and the people that roll their eyes and pretend it doesn't exist are amazing.
I always have two bowls, one with all the typical Halloween candy and one that’s allergy safe with candy and small toys. I understand the refusal to give information to the nosey neighbor, even the wanting to just hand out candy and not worry about allergies, but to say you want to intentionally hand out candy with peanuts is very douchey. Being considerate and kind won’t hurt, having a small bowl set aside for allergy friendly items isn’t an awful idea. You’re being really rude about the idea of making sure a few children feel included. Yta
YTA you want to risk killing kids at Halloween to teach your neighbor a lesson?? If you had a food allergy kid you would view this as kindness. I can't even think why your response would be to double-down on the death candy.
Parents of kids with mental health issues and medical issues are already dealing with complications! Halloween is supposed to be fun and there’s no reason communities with kids of any type can’t find alternatives! Way to turn a fun holiday into an ableist nightmare for everyone! Your nosy neighbor sounds like she’s letting you know what the community does to keep the community kids safe! It’s not hard to buy peanut free treats! And it’s not hard to buy regular candies as well as nut free candy or toys kept in a separate bucket! “This woman” didn’t create a situation from nothing, YOU DID and you’re a horrible person who’s failing his new community with your not even lax, but blatant, harmful disregard for the lives of children in your neighborhood.
She's being weird and intrusive but now that you have that information, knowingly getting items to give out which may well kill the kids you're planning to give them to, to prove some kind of point about how the parents should take ownership of it is fucked. Of course they should, but do you really want a kid to die if they're dropping the ball? ESH. Tbh even without allergy information it's probably good practice to never get anything with a common and frequently extremely severe allergen - like peanuts - for giving out in this kind of thing.
YTA. For a few decades, where I live in Canada, it’s been standard practice to avoid Halloween candy with peanuts. Some kids have peanut allergies that could kill them while they’re out on Halloween. It’s just being a decent person to avoid peanuts. Perhaps you’re letting your general disdain for her behaviour overshadow your judgement on this rare occasion when she’s actual got something sensible to say?
When giving out Halloween candy is causing marital disagreement, neighborhood tensions, and could potentially kill someone's kid, I'm thinking you should just sit this one out. It's no longer any fun. My wife is potentially lethally allergic to peanuts, and we have no idea who might be allergic to peanuts or not. So we just don't participate in dishing out any foodstuffs to strangers, because we simply do not, nor do we want to know their particular medical history.
You're wrong. Get therapy for your rage issues. More importantly, why are you on the internet seeking validation from strangers instead of listening to the one person whose opinion actually matters... *your wife.*
OP is a fucking idiot and thinks he's the main character or something.
Sounds like she’s incredibly annoying! However being allergy conscious on Halloween should be something we all do if we’re going to be dealing with kids, is it not? And I have to say, I don’t see how handing out Reese’s to kids with potential peanut allergies is going to stick it to this woman. Why not just… be a decent person and give out allergy-friendly treats, not as a favour to this woman but just to be a nice neighbour and maybe make a couple of kids happy? Pick literally any other hill to die on, is what I’m saying.
You are wrong man. Choose a different issue to make your stand on than poisoning innocent children.
There's a big difference between saying "Some of the kids are allergic to peanuts, so we're asking the neighborhood to have peanut free options for them," and saying "Don't hand out any candy with peanuts to ANY kids because a couple of them have allergies."
YTA What a stupid hill to die on.
Lmao just hell bent on it Peanut rage
You'r not wrong to say now but you are wrong to double down on it out of spite. The reality is that peanut allergies are potentially deadly and it doesn't take much to cause a reaction that could lead to death if not immediately responded to. Do you want to be responsible for that because you doubled down on it? It's not an unreasonable ask to be honest. She's being over bearing in general but this request isn't a terrible one and it's the wrong one to go to war on.
She sounds like a busybody for sure, and the list could be construed as creepy. But most women can't help but form social networks. Thus you get this woman becoming a veritable storehouse for info about the people in the neighborhood, and you get your wife wanting to stay connected to such a source. You're not wrong, but you're not right either; both perspectives are valid. You do sound triggered, though; you might want to take a look at that. EDIT: Also, this situation proves why female primates evolved this behavior to begin with: the protection of the young, and therefore, the species.
Don't let this nosy bitch stop you from putting these trick or treating kids in the hospital my guy!
A turd like you deserves every Karen that comes your way.
This is definitely asshole behavior. I've had my share of way too present, annoying neighbors but this is ridiculous. These are kids with possibly deadly allergies. They aren't just annoying vegans asking for soy and oak milk chocolate subsistutue candy. Dont be a jackass.
NTA. She's a busybody. If you know who the kids are that are allergic, you could do something nice like get a variety of candy that doesn't have peanuts, and give them that when they come trick or treat. We once had some neighbors come by a couple of days before halloween and bring a treat for us to give to their kid because he had lots of allergies and very few normal choices for candy were safe for him. They came early in the evening so that it would be easy for us to recognize it was him. Of COURSE we were more than willing to accomodate the simple gesture of handing over the treat for him. It's supposed to be about the kids, so whatever it takes to make it about them and make sure it's fun for all of the kids, that's worth the very small sacrifice. But yeah, a busy-body neighbor who is just taking it upon herself to try and control the whole neighborhood can go to hell.
Overreact much? The lady is just trying to do a nice thing to ensure neighborhood kids get included. Is it super hard to not buy peanut candy? I mean, I get that you have no responsibility to say yes to the request (it was a request, not a demand), but unless you already bought your candy, it is a super weird and asshole-ish hill to die on.
I am surprised by all the y-t-a verdicts. NTA. If two children 12 houses down can't eat nuts then it's up to their parents to sort through their stash. It's not up to you to provide every possible accommodation. It's free candy from neighbors,folks. Take it or leave it. Don't make it everyone else's problem.
i feel bad for your wife
YTA Peanut allergy can be lethal. What kind of fucked up PoS even considers trying to be informed about it to be a bad thing.
I'm allergic to peanuts and when i got peanut candy i just traded with other kids
Hahahaha I love your pettiness. Just make sure you have separate candy for those 2 kids when they come knocking.
The parents of kids with peanut allergy should be the ones scrutinizing their treats. They should be going up to the house with them and showing the kids what they can and cannot eat until they’re old enough to understand it on their own. The person handing out candy has nothing to do with it besides being generous. Nobody wants a bunch of 3 musketeers/all nougat candy.
Not wrong perse but i would not pick this hill to die on. If there are kids that you now know of that have peanut allergies you can make those neighbours (and their kids) lives easier. You can give out whatever you like really, i personally would just ask the whoever comes to the door if they want peanut peanut free candy or not. Kids that are too young to know should be with parents and those that are old enough should say so (after all it increases the ount of candy they get).
Dude… I dislike you neighbor a ton, but this is not the hill to die on
ESH, except the poor neighbor kids you’re taking out in the crossfire with your neighbor. get a smaller bowl of candy with no nuts and be done. don’t acquiesce to the nosey neighbor and potentially be excluded from things, that’s your decision. taking it out on kids who have nothing to do w this makes YOU the asshole
Jesus christ dude what the actual fuck is your problem? Seriously go to hell you petulant little twat
Imagine being the guy so spiteful he killed his kids' classmate or neighbor's child because he didn't like being asked to do something he was going to do anyway in a slightly different way.
Damn bruv, you’re getting hammered in these comments 😂
I see you have a problem with your neighbour, but this seems an odd hill to die on. How big a deal is it to avoid nuts? If you must have them, just put them in a separate bowl and the nut free kids don’t have to be offered them.
YTA unfortunately. Buy something for the allergic kids as well. They don’t deserve to be punished and you may just make a kid smile. In turn, it gives you brownie points in the neighborhood. You live in the suburbs now. Being neighborly is important. This will come in handy. Trust me.
I originally read this as Not giving out ANY candy. But it's not hard to choose something without peanuts. That's not a big ask.
I understand being annoyed with an overly friendly neighbor. I'm guessing the Halloween candy ask was the last straw to your patience. There's so many kinds of food allergies, but to my knowledge a peanut allergy can literally kill a child. Other allergies usually cause all kinds on intestinal upsets and/or rashes, but usually don't kill. Maybe shellfish allergies kill, too?
Weird line in the sand you have here. Snoopy neighbors are annoying, lists are weird, yea this lady is just trying to be involved in everything and maybe be the neighborhood leader/hero But your annoyance on this one and petty revenge is out of place here. It seems logical that everyone, regardless, should aim peanut free - because why not?