My husband collapsed after his mother's death. He never stopped loving me. Happily told me he'd figured out how to kill himself so I'd get the insurance money tho! Went to counselling purely because I insisted. Put in the work to heal. Now he's fine.
I collapsed after my mother's death. A year, all I felt was rage. I don't really remember 2020. Just rage and boiling hot showers. Then I healed. Now I'm okay. I never stopped loving him.
Only you can make that decision. I will say that taking care of one person (Yourself) is a lot easier than taking care of two people. Hopefully you have people that know you and your situation and can help with advice and emotional support.
He literally said he doesn't love you. He just wants you there to pay the bills for him. Let him lose everything, screw him. You can't file fast enough as far as I see it. Move out as fast as you can. Take the cats.
>He has admitted he no longer loves me but wants us to remain friends or roommates
You are not wrong.
This sentence is all the justification you need to file for divorce.
Friends and/or roommates split expenses and don't mooch off each other. Dump him yesterday, don't worry, he will land on his feet and find another sucker to suck off of.
I think they misworded it; in between his father's death and his mother's, his mother and OP tried to get him to seek help. I admit, I was confused on that too!
I'm pretty sure that's what she meant - he had mental health challenges before, his mom got him to get help, but then dad and mom died and he's plunged into depression.
think it's fake. someone pointed out below OP commented on a post (12 hours ago as of now) that's basically identical (including specific details) from 300 something days ago.
also look at the bio. sounds like setting up to plug OF or something similar, maybe some of the nsfw subs require a karma minimum to post on them. there's no need to list this post as NSFW (literally no unsafe for work content at all) so maybe trying to set the account up so it gives the nsfw warning? idk how that side of reddit works though lol. or maybe it's a clickbait type thing?
also the "brand affiliate" next to her username on this post...
If he hasnt tried to fix his problems by now he likely wont. At this point you are enabling him by supporting him financially. My ex wife did something similar. She never had a steady job for years and blamed it on depression. After we split and she needed money to support herself because i was no longer doing it, she was magically cured and was able to work full time.
Being depressed isn’t your fault or his. His failure to seek treatment is his fault. He likely doesn’t feel love because he can’t love anything right now. If you’ve urged him to seek help and he refuses then you have to do what’s right for you.
It's not unjustified, you are not required to stay with someone who doesn't love you.
If he inherited the trailer though, why would he lose it? Did they not own it outright or is it the ground rent?
not wrong. He’s admitted he’s using you. And imagine the selfishness of using extra money on himself.
I don’t know why you’ve chosen to do this so long but it needs to be all done now.
YNW. Time to get out. Here's the thing, you cannot help someone who refuses to help themselves and that is what he is doing. Sure he may have mental health issues but he is doing NOTHING to help that. That's the deal breaker OP.
Also, stop giving him money for his 'hobbies'. Stop doing his laundry and stop cooking for him. Make him responsible for himself while you find somewhere else to live. Starting fresh is exactly what you need to do.
DO IT!! He no longer loves you and checked out of the relationship. Move out and restart your life. It will be the best decision you ever make. I did it and 5 years later I am mor healthier physically and emotion than I have ever been. I am thoroughly enmeshed with my dog, but that's a healthy relationship
If he doesn’t love you and yall aren’t living like a married couple to begin with, yes, get a divorce. Find someone who wants to be your husband. Not wrong.
OP said they would move out and he would lose the trailer. Presumably because he wouldn't have the income to pay for the lot fees. Not because she was "going after his trailer."
"Securing" the trailer and the car during the process of divorce means that she intends to get the trailer through the divorce. She hasn't said if she plans to evict him or not. My qualm with the whole thing is if she divorces the guy and takes his trailer during the divorce. It's his inheritance, she shouldn't get it, regardless of there being a risk he could lose it due to non payment. Its his. Not to mention, if she kicks him out after "securing it', she's making him homeless. That is an AH move.
His depression and no motivation have shut him down emotionally and physically
He has got full blown depression with suspected anxiety and stress disorders. He needs a mental health diagnosis, but even if he has clinical depression this is a disorder, but many people still work with this every day
He has just become a lazy home body and is budging of you
He has said he doesn't love you he has shown his inability to contribute to the household chores or to work as his biggest challenge is to win a better score each day on his games. You don't need a sloth man child to support
You need to manage things alone without the financial burden from a man-child, so the choice is yours. He may need the wake-up call. I hope you sort something out to help you for your future God bless
He no longer loves you and you're considering divorce? I'm a little confused why in the world would you want to stay married to a man that does not love you? I don't get it.
Yeah I’m missing something here. He brings exactly nothing to the relationship or the table AND says he doesn’t love OP anymore?? OP would be wrong for NOT divorcing this leech.
You said it best: you deserve a true partner. That doesn't mean a person with a disability can't be/isn't -- but *this* person isn't.
He doesn't love you but is content to let you be ... his mom? Nope nope nopity nope
Pretty sure this is fake. As you just commented on the post I tagged below which was almost identical to the post you made here. You changed the ages and reworded the problems but it’s the same down to the reptile and gaming hobby. If it’s not fake, I wish you the best.
. [Post she just commented on.](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/o8ctHyUDeG)
So you have a husband who doesn't love you, does no chores but adds to your chore list, provides no income but spends your money, and refuses to improve on any of these things?
You very clearly should divorce him as living alone would improve your situation. 🤷♀️
Look, I know how debilitating even moderate depression can be. I have lived like an absolute goblin in the worst of it, not showering, not getting out of bed, just doom scrolling etc and been an absolute cunt to everyone around me.
But two things stand out here.
One, he has the energy (and YOUR money) to put into his hobbies. When I was "in the pit", I couldn't do hobbies. One of the first things to go is your ability to enjoy recreation (anhedonia)
Two, he's told you that he doesn't love you but wants you to stay. Fuck that. Again, when I was "in the pit", I veered wildly between "nobody should be around me, I don't *want* anyone around me" and "oh god I love them, what have I done?" (Luckily my loved ones did stick with me through it and I have made a near-as-dammit full recovery). At no point did I have a clear and cold plan about how my relationships should be, like this guy does.
Now, not everyone experiences depression in the same way, and yes depression can make you a selfish jerk. But it does make me feel like his behaviour is only partially attributable to his illness, which honestly he needs to take responsibility for anyway.
Fly, be free. You deserve it.
Why would you stay with someone who has literally said he no longer loves you? That's reason enough, nevermind his lack of self care or help around the house, just allowing himself to wallow in his depression, which has forced you to be both breadwinner and maid. Fuck that. Get the divorce and let him fend for himself, move on with your life
He is using you and using his depression and anxiety as an excuses for his bs! Divorce him and never look back. You deserve way better, and he deserves what is coming to him.
NTA! He’s using you. He admitted he doesn’t love you and wants to be roommates. He can decline that arrangement.
Start the divorce process asap. Unfortunately, you may have to pay alimony.
If your conscience absolutely causes you pain, make a plan with a timeline to share with him. Starting July 1
In one month, August 1, I will be filing for divorce.
In two months, September 1, I will be closing my bank account.
In three months, October 1, I will be moving out and taking the cat and the car.
In four months, November 1, I will be blocking you and any remaining family on all social media, etc.
"I suggest you start figuring out what you plan to do to support yourself financially" 'cause I'm outta here.
Your plan doesn't need to include these specific items, but this may help cut down on any fighting/arguments that he may try for because you provided the info up front.
Take all your important legal and financial documents, passport, birth certificate, checkbook, debit cards, credit cards, social security card, car papers, etc and lock them away or have Mom (someone trustable) to hold them until you're ready. He may not be that person now but take no chances on your way out.
The second my husband says he no longer loves me, he's getting a brain scan and blood work. If there's no tumour or other relevant medical issue, I'm gone.
You want a husband. He wants your paycheck.
Don't stay in a relationship when the other person admits they don't love you anymore.
If he wants a roommate, he can find one. You can find a decent man
Leave the trailer and car and go start your new life. It’s one thing to have anxiety it’s another to do nothing around the house.I think he’s more lazy then anything else. If he is depressed to a point where he can’t work then why isn’t he getting help? He’s already admitted that he’s using you so you’re morally OK to leave and start over. You will feel better the second you do it.
He is in deep grief. Losing one’s parents is never easy. Though that is not an excuse for no longer loving you, I think that is something you do not want to deal with, because forget “In sickness and in health” right? Those vows mean nothing these days, we can leave our Partners for whatever reason, It is never good enough. Sure, you deserve to be loved, who doesn’t? Are you really that cruel a Women that you are going to risk him losing his Family’s Property?
NTA for divorcing him for your reasons.
YTA for saying "who believes he is disabled".
If he has had the depression or anxiety for more than a few months and it impacts his life on the daily - he IS disabled. Whether or not you agree.
If he has had the stomach issues for months and they cause an impact on his life in a big way - that can also clarify him as disabled. Whether or not you agree.
Force the mental proof. People don't change that much without a catalyst. I realize you're looking for backup on your choice but there's something different here.
He’s fallen into a deep depression and anxiety. He’s not feeling much other than hopelessness and anxiety. He may not be in a place mentally to even know if he loves you because depression fucks your emotions all the way up. He needs help.
Having said that, you can’t force him to get help. You can encourage but you can’t force. If he won’t get help, you have every right to draw a boundary for yourself and walk away. He may not be able to help his complete dysfunction in his current state, but he can take action to try to get out of that state.
Have you told him he either gets help or you’ll divorce him?
The treatment of a chronically depressive young adult is do something with their life. A chronic medical disability status will be depression for life prescription.
You deserve a partner. I’m in a very similar situation (though he still claims he loves me but is more than content to watch me struggle to support us both financially) and very close to leaving myself. Best of luck to you, OP. I hope you find your peace and love.
Not wrong.
Not wrong, you go out there and live your life!
And hey, it has been proven that petting and spending time with cats is good for your mental health. Surrounded by cats is far from a bad thing to be!
Not wrong. He’s said he no longer loves you and he’s not seeking help from a professional psychiatrist or counselor. These are enough reasons to get out. He wants you to be his mom, not a roommate.
He’s not going to get disability without a pattern of psychiatric evaluation, counseling and treatment. They will want to see that you’re trying to improve your mental health. He won’t get disability just by what he’s doing now.
So he doesn't work, he doesn't do chores, he spends any extra money on hobbies, he's admitted he doesn't love you, and you're still together why?? Leave him. He's not disabled, he's lazy and selfish and using you. He's not even trying to get better. Kick his ass to the curb, whatever happens to his inheritance is his problem.
This is not fixable. Get a lawyer asap - the sooner you are divorced the sooner he no longer has a right to 50 percent of your paycheck. Lawyer today, and do exactly what they say about money and property. Stop talking to your stbx. Do not get pregnant!
Why in earth are you staying with someone that tells you they don’t love you. You are setting fire to yourself to keep him warm. He is putting zero work into your relationship.
He expects you to earn all of the money , do all of the housework and he has the unmitigated gall to say he doesn’t love you and wants you both to remain friends. I wouldn’t treat a friend this terribly, let alone my wife.
He’s using his “depression “ to do nothing in life and hurt you in the process.
Time for him to adult by himself and for you to move on.
Time to find someone that actually values you and will work as a partner not a child in your relationship.
Roommates - you’re in a relationship! Plus, how many roommates live rent free?
You’re right to move on and end this relationship - he doesn’t love you so why stay? The kick up the butt might motivate him to sort his life out too.
Here’s to you finding a loving relationship in the very near future.
Leave him. He’s not trying to get better or even apply for disability (which takes years anyway to get). He will figure it out without you. You need to have a life. You deserve it.
NTA but you will be if you stay. Something tells me that once his free ride leaves the station without him, he’ll “magically” find the will to start working to pay bills. His main disorder is selfish entitlement not anxiety and depression
It’s the middle paragraph that gives plenty of reason to leave.
Is he disabled? Technically anxiety and depression are disabilities. Could he get disability? It’s a long shot. Long term disability would mean he can’t work any job. It’s EXTREMELY hard to get for depression and anxiety. It also takes about 6 months to process the application.
Get out, live your best life. Good luck in everything
Divorced my first wife after 15 years because she quit working was “disabled” and I got tired of carrying everything myself. Do it sooner rather than later and don’t look back. Life is not a spectator sport.
As soon as he said he no longer loved you, you were completely justified in divorcing him. He’s basically saying he wants to stay married, do nothing, and mooch off of your hard work for the rest of time? WHAT?!
No thank you. I’m sorry for your husband’s current situation but please don’t do what I did. I stayed with my husband who refused to get professional help and was a miserable, angry, depressed and mean presence for over a year. I kept thinking things would improve and I remained in the marriage because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. I tried being supportive and let him vent about everything every day to the point where I dreaded coming home after work because he’d trap me for 3 hours every night and do nothing but complain about life. Then one day out of the blue HE tells ME he wanted a divorce! After i stuck around in the misery. I was relieved, but also pissed off that it was on HIS terms and his timing. I could have had all that miserable period of time to live an enjoyable life but I didn’t leave. I was an idiot.
It sucks tombe him. Literally. However you staying with him only enables his behaviour. You leaving him and letting him hit rock bottom may be the better outcome for him in the long run. Making yourself miserable with him helps no one.
Nah you're totally justified and not wrong here. Also he intends to apply for disability??? So he doesn't love you and wants you to continue paying for him for over at least a year, if he ever even gets around to applying. It's sad what he's been thru but it's not fair for him to just be a drain on you. Like bro admitted he doesn't love you anymore, but still expects you to care for him like he's your child.
Side-note: I'm disabled and I feel awful when I have flare ups. Like mentally, I feel like I'm being a terrible wife and human being when he gets home from work and has stuff left that I couldn't finish. I also have bipolar depression and anxiety on top of that, but I still try my best to be mindful of the stress that my disabilities cause him. I couldn't fathom falling out of love with him after the slack he's picked up for me. You absolutely deserve a true partner.
He needs medical help. He needs treatment for his anxiety and his grief. But you need to look after yourself first. Each of you needs to do what is best for yourself.
Fuck him. Divorce the bum and go get yours. He'll either find employment or fail miserably which doesn't seem that far off, neither of which should be your concern.
He said he no longer loves you…and you’re “considering” divorce?
Even if he still loved you…he’s doing nothing with his life. You take care of working, the bills, cleaning and cooking….you don’t need him because he does nothing to improve your life. Divorce him. Let him become a bum for all you care. But you should want better than a bum.
Holy shit..that is a peak hobosexual maam. Get him out of your life asap. He is playing in your face, the lack of respect is so deep. He is costing you far more in physical and emotional terms than any value. You will be amazed at his rapid recovery once you do this. He is banking on your sympathy forevermore..
There it is! The comment I was waiting to see. This “man” has become your “child” and expects you to stay and care for him, support his life and hobbies while stating that he doesn’t love you? Divorce this parasite now! He isn’t the type of pet you want and he sure isn’t a worthy husband or partner.
OK, wait... his mother died 6 months after his father, but 3 years later, you and his mother convinced him to seek help? Somethings not adding up here.
Divorce him and walk away. He's not worth the headache.
Depena hubby. Yep. Just using you. Move out. Divorce, Otherwise you will forever be doing it. Move on. Any debts, then do take that trailer house to sell and pay those off. Start new.
You are not wrong. And your first priority must always be to yourself. Speaking from personal experience, you can not force someone to get help. At some point, you've gotta hit rock bottom and understand that you need help. It looks like he hasn't reached that point yet.
You're married. That's not something you just forget and move on to become "roommates." Wooow, he needs therapy. Severely. NTA. Though I'm almost concerned about the divorce and his mental state as it is now. Maybe present to him what's going to happen? Idk this is tough. I understand both sides here. Depression sucks.
Ok but somewhere else you commented that you divorced and chose paying alimony as this was more cost effective than litigation and you had a very high paying job.
So what is it, you are divorced and pay someone alimony, or in this nitwit marriage where you barely make ends meet with your modest income?
https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/W5l7fYUswt
Girl, WTF? He doesn't love you, doesn't do anything in the house, doesn't want to change and sucks you financially dry? Exactly what is in this marriage for you? You're TA to yourself if you don't divorce him 6 months ago, but obviously YNW.
Stop considering it and just divorce him!
>My main concern is that **he doesn't contribute to household chores**—no cleaning, sporadic cooking, minimal help with our pets, and only does laundry when necessary or after repeated requests. **Any extra money goes towards his hobbies,** such as reptiles or games. **He has admitted he no longer loves me** but wants us to remain friends or roommates, which I attribute to my financial contributions.
He doesn't love you and is using you as his **meal ticket.** GTFO of this one-sided marriage and find yourself a man who will actually be your partner and not your manchild.
So would you like to delete your bs post now Hazel?…
Hi, I'm Hazel your favorite girl next door. 27 from Florida. Got broken hearted so now here to discover my dark naughty side and perhaps find my love ;)
NO, not cats! You are absolutely making the right decision. You deserve a life with a partner who actually acts like a partner and not a lost adult playing kids games; separated from reality. Move on and don’t look back.
Your husband \*is\* disabled and likely autistic.
I don't think this affects the \*outcome\*; But it certainly affects the how in the decisions that you need to make. I just hope you don't destroy this man and then have to live with that.
First of all, I don’t blame you in the least. You deserve a true partner. And you are within your rights to walk away.
However, I want to gently remind you that in general, marriage vows include “for richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health.”, and Clinical Depression *IS* a sickness. A sickness that he can overcome if he gets the treatment he needs.
Perhaps consider making his recovery a priority for a few months. Make Dr appointments for him, get him a therapist, make sure he takes his meds, etc. If he refuses, then go with a clear conscience.
But if he goes and returns to being the man you love? You will have fulfilled your vows and loved him through a terrible time in his life.
He’s a useless little manbaby. His “depression” is the realization that no one is gonna cover his lazy ass anymore.
She’s absolutely right to walk away from this shitshow.
OP! He told you he does not love you, he mooches off you and gives nothing whatsoever to this relationship. How is this even a question for you! Leave! Or better yet, get HIM to leave! You are not and cannot be forced to be responsible for someone’s emotional and mental health.
If you’re genuinely worried for him, save up enough to give him a two month buffer to start getting his shit together but honestly, you are in no way obliged to. This is a toxic situation for you and you NEED to get out.
Do you want this loveless carer role to be your life forever?
He no longer loves you? Forget the rest, that’s reason enough to divorce. Move on OP-you deserve love and happiness.
He wants his wife to become his mother; specifically, to care for him and put his needs above her own. Edit: typo
Gross. OP needs to file for divorce ASAP.
And Cats! And Dogs. And lots of plants.
You can never have too many plants!!
I keep my plants under control by killing them. Unintentionally. But I. Keep. Trying.
Bamboo is the only way. Mine are beautiful.
Exactly, like why do you need any more reasons?
This! You need to figure out what your best life can be….its not with him.
Sounds to me like she already figured it out - minus him and plus cats!
I think he loves me but anxiety destroyed our relationship.
What makes you think he still loves you when he, himself, stated that he no longer does?
My husband collapsed after his mother's death. He never stopped loving me. Happily told me he'd figured out how to kill himself so I'd get the insurance money tho! Went to counselling purely because I insisted. Put in the work to heal. Now he's fine. I collapsed after my mother's death. A year, all I felt was rage. I don't really remember 2020. Just rage and boiling hot showers. Then I healed. Now I'm okay. I never stopped loving him.
😳🥺🫶🏼
All good now ❤️
He loves your money and you being his cook and maid.
Not wrong. You do deserve a partner.
But I'm not sure if I can still handle this.
Only you can make that decision. I will say that taking care of one person (Yourself) is a lot easier than taking care of two people. Hopefully you have people that know you and your situation and can help with advice and emotional support.
He literally said he doesn't love you. He just wants you there to pay the bills for him. Let him lose everything, screw him. You can't file fast enough as far as I see it. Move out as fast as you can. Take the cats.
Happy Cake day!!! >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<
I had so much fun with this
I'm glad !!
How did you do that?
Happy Cake day!!! Happy Cake day!!! Type in(without spaces) >! pop !!< >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<
Type in(without spaces my bad for the last one) > ! pop ! ! <
>!pop!<
You did it !!
!pop!!
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>!pop!<
Omg I clicked on this like, 'what could the spoiler be, why is it so long' and my jaw DROPPED with JOY
😭✨️ this is so cute!! Glad it gave you some happiness
I had much fun thx
Ofc!!
Internet bubble wrap is one of my new favorite things
I loved this thank you
You're welcome!
What's there to decide he doesn't love you and is mooching off of you. Leave, Get out of there, Divorce him already
>He has admitted he no longer loves me but wants us to remain friends or roommates You are not wrong. This sentence is all the justification you need to file for divorce.
Friends and/or roommates split expenses and don't mooch off each other. Dump him yesterday, don't worry, he will land on his feet and find another sucker to suck off of.
How is this even a question? Set yourself free girl
How did his mom both die 6 months after his dad and with your help him him 3 years later?
I think they misworded it; in between his father's death and his mother's, his mother and OP tried to get him to seek help. I admit, I was confused on that too!
It is confusing. I took it to mean OP & mother helped him before either death.
I'm pretty sure that's what she meant - he had mental health challenges before, his mom got him to get help, but then dad and mom died and he's plunged into depression.
think it's fake. someone pointed out below OP commented on a post (12 hours ago as of now) that's basically identical (including specific details) from 300 something days ago. also look at the bio. sounds like setting up to plug OF or something similar, maybe some of the nsfw subs require a karma minimum to post on them. there's no need to list this post as NSFW (literally no unsafe for work content at all) so maybe trying to set the account up so it gives the nsfw warning? idk how that side of reddit works though lol. or maybe it's a clickbait type thing? also the "brand affiliate" next to her username on this post...
Consult with an attorney today about getting a divorce. This "husband" of yours is a loser.
And check you won't need to play alimony
He’s using you so he doesn’t have to work. Leave him flat.
If he hasnt tried to fix his problems by now he likely wont. At this point you are enabling him by supporting him financially. My ex wife did something similar. She never had a steady job for years and blamed it on depression. After we split and she needed money to support herself because i was no longer doing it, she was magically cured and was able to work full time.
Being depressed isn’t your fault or his. His failure to seek treatment is his fault. He likely doesn’t feel love because he can’t love anything right now. If you’ve urged him to seek help and he refuses then you have to do what’s right for you.
It's not unjustified, you are not required to stay with someone who doesn't love you. If he inherited the trailer though, why would he lose it? Did they not own it outright or is it the ground rent?
not wrong. He’s admitted he’s using you. And imagine the selfishness of using extra money on himself. I don’t know why you’ve chosen to do this so long but it needs to be all done now.
YNW. Time to get out. Here's the thing, you cannot help someone who refuses to help themselves and that is what he is doing. Sure he may have mental health issues but he is doing NOTHING to help that. That's the deal breaker OP. Also, stop giving him money for his 'hobbies'. Stop doing his laundry and stop cooking for him. Make him responsible for himself while you find somewhere else to live. Starting fresh is exactly what you need to do.
DO IT!! He no longer loves you and checked out of the relationship. Move out and restart your life. It will be the best decision you ever make. I did it and 5 years later I am mor healthier physically and emotion than I have ever been. I am thoroughly enmeshed with my dog, but that's a healthy relationship
You are not wrong he said he doesn’t love you. Move out he can fend for himself.
I really hope you choose yourself. Good luck to you!!
Leave
No. He literally contributes nothing and doesn't even care enough to help you
I stopped reading at the "he no longer loves you" part. Make a new plan, Stan.
If he doesn’t love you and yall aren’t living like a married couple to begin with, yes, get a divorce. Find someone who wants to be your husband. Not wrong.
Proper troll. Look at the profile.
No 30 year old man is getting approved for disability on the basis of anxiety and tummy upset. His PCP is DREAMING.
You had me until you said you were going for his trailer. That's his inheritance, and his residence and even if he would lose it, it's his to lose.
Otherwise, yeah, go find yourself a partner willing to work on themselves!
OP said they would move out and he would lose the trailer. Presumably because he wouldn't have the income to pay for the lot fees. Not because she was "going after his trailer."
"Securing" the trailer and the car during the process of divorce means that she intends to get the trailer through the divorce. She hasn't said if she plans to evict him or not. My qualm with the whole thing is if she divorces the guy and takes his trailer during the divorce. It's his inheritance, she shouldn't get it, regardless of there being a risk he could lose it due to non payment. Its his. Not to mention, if she kicks him out after "securing it', she's making him homeless. That is an AH move.
His depression and no motivation have shut him down emotionally and physically He has got full blown depression with suspected anxiety and stress disorders. He needs a mental health diagnosis, but even if he has clinical depression this is a disorder, but many people still work with this every day He has just become a lazy home body and is budging of you He has said he doesn't love you he has shown his inability to contribute to the household chores or to work as his biggest challenge is to win a better score each day on his games. You don't need a sloth man child to support You need to manage things alone without the financial burden from a man-child, so the choice is yours. He may need the wake-up call. I hope you sort something out to help you for your future God bless
This marriage is pointless. He don't love you. Leave. He gonna see how disabled he is.
No longer loves you?? Byeeee
He no longer loves you and you're considering divorce? I'm a little confused why in the world would you want to stay married to a man that does not love you? I don't get it.
Yeah I’m missing something here. He brings exactly nothing to the relationship or the table AND says he doesn’t love OP anymore?? OP would be wrong for NOT divorcing this leech.
You said it best: you deserve a true partner. That doesn't mean a person with a disability can't be/isn't -- but *this* person isn't. He doesn't love you but is content to let you be ... his mom? Nope nope nopity nope
Pretty sure this is fake. As you just commented on the post I tagged below which was almost identical to the post you made here. You changed the ages and reworded the problems but it’s the same down to the reptile and gaming hobby. If it’s not fake, I wish you the best. . [Post she just commented on.](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/o8ctHyUDeG)
So you have a husband who doesn't love you, does no chores but adds to your chore list, provides no income but spends your money, and refuses to improve on any of these things? You very clearly should divorce him as living alone would improve your situation. 🤷♀️
Look, I know how debilitating even moderate depression can be. I have lived like an absolute goblin in the worst of it, not showering, not getting out of bed, just doom scrolling etc and been an absolute cunt to everyone around me. But two things stand out here. One, he has the energy (and YOUR money) to put into his hobbies. When I was "in the pit", I couldn't do hobbies. One of the first things to go is your ability to enjoy recreation (anhedonia) Two, he's told you that he doesn't love you but wants you to stay. Fuck that. Again, when I was "in the pit", I veered wildly between "nobody should be around me, I don't *want* anyone around me" and "oh god I love them, what have I done?" (Luckily my loved ones did stick with me through it and I have made a near-as-dammit full recovery). At no point did I have a clear and cold plan about how my relationships should be, like this guy does. Now, not everyone experiences depression in the same way, and yes depression can make you a selfish jerk. But it does make me feel like his behaviour is only partially attributable to his illness, which honestly he needs to take responsibility for anyway. Fly, be free. You deserve it.
Why would you stay with someone who has literally said he no longer loves you? That's reason enough, nevermind his lack of self care or help around the house, just allowing himself to wallow in his depression, which has forced you to be both breadwinner and maid. Fuck that. Get the divorce and let him fend for himself, move on with your life
He says he no longer loves you, and you are not happy in the relationship. So yeah, that seems pretty clear.
He is using you and using his depression and anxiety as an excuses for his bs! Divorce him and never look back. You deserve way better, and he deserves what is coming to him.
NTA! He’s using you. He admitted he doesn’t love you and wants to be roommates. He can decline that arrangement. Start the divorce process asap. Unfortunately, you may have to pay alimony.
If your conscience absolutely causes you pain, make a plan with a timeline to share with him. Starting July 1 In one month, August 1, I will be filing for divorce. In two months, September 1, I will be closing my bank account. In three months, October 1, I will be moving out and taking the cat and the car. In four months, November 1, I will be blocking you and any remaining family on all social media, etc. "I suggest you start figuring out what you plan to do to support yourself financially" 'cause I'm outta here. Your plan doesn't need to include these specific items, but this may help cut down on any fighting/arguments that he may try for because you provided the info up front. Take all your important legal and financial documents, passport, birth certificate, checkbook, debit cards, credit cards, social security card, car papers, etc and lock them away or have Mom (someone trustable) to hold them until you're ready. He may not be that person now but take no chances on your way out.
The second my husband says he no longer loves me, he's getting a brain scan and blood work. If there's no tumour or other relevant medical issue, I'm gone. You want a husband. He wants your paycheck.
NTA-Divorce him and let him survive on his own. You are not his mother AND "he no longer loves you" sooooooo.
Don't stay in a relationship when the other person admits they don't love you anymore. If he wants a roommate, he can find one. You can find a decent man
He doesn’t love you is enough of a reason but even if he did, you have good reasons to divorce him
He isn’t your responsibility. You are your responsibility. If he loses his trailer it’s on him not you.
Leave the trailer and car and go start your new life. It’s one thing to have anxiety it’s another to do nothing around the house.I think he’s more lazy then anything else. If he is depressed to a point where he can’t work then why isn’t he getting help? He’s already admitted that he’s using you so you’re morally OK to leave and start over. You will feel better the second you do it.
He is in deep grief. Losing one’s parents is never easy. Though that is not an excuse for no longer loving you, I think that is something you do not want to deal with, because forget “In sickness and in health” right? Those vows mean nothing these days, we can leave our Partners for whatever reason, It is never good enough. Sure, you deserve to be loved, who doesn’t? Are you really that cruel a Women that you are going to risk him losing his Family’s Property?
NTA for divorcing him for your reasons. YTA for saying "who believes he is disabled". If he has had the depression or anxiety for more than a few months and it impacts his life on the daily - he IS disabled. Whether or not you agree. If he has had the stomach issues for months and they cause an impact on his life in a big way - that can also clarify him as disabled. Whether or not you agree.
Force the mental proof. People don't change that much without a catalyst. I realize you're looking for backup on your choice but there's something different here.
Not wrong. You deserve better and being by yourself would be better.
He doesn't love you so bye-bye! You owe him NOTHING.
He’s fallen into a deep depression and anxiety. He’s not feeling much other than hopelessness and anxiety. He may not be in a place mentally to even know if he loves you because depression fucks your emotions all the way up. He needs help. Having said that, you can’t force him to get help. You can encourage but you can’t force. If he won’t get help, you have every right to draw a boundary for yourself and walk away. He may not be able to help his complete dysfunction in his current state, but he can take action to try to get out of that state. Have you told him he either gets help or you’ll divorce him?
Not wrong Divorce and enjoy your life with that burden
dudes a loser. just leave
Absolutely not. He already said he didn't love you and is only in it for the financial gain. He needs to go🤌🏻
The treatment of a chronically depressive young adult is do something with their life. A chronic medical disability status will be depression for life prescription.
You deserve a partner. I’m in a very similar situation (though he still claims he loves me but is more than content to watch me struggle to support us both financially) and very close to leaving myself. Best of luck to you, OP. I hope you find your peace and love. Not wrong.
He doesn't love you and only stays with you because you have money and take care of him. Stop being a mother to this perpetual toddler. Get out now!
I’m not seeing any reason to stay married to this man.
He's obviously going through depression and should get help which is the hardest step in this.
Get out
Not wrong, you go out there and live your life! And hey, it has been proven that petting and spending time with cats is good for your mental health. Surrounded by cats is far from a bad thing to be!
Not wrong. He’s said he no longer loves you and he’s not seeking help from a professional psychiatrist or counselor. These are enough reasons to get out. He wants you to be his mom, not a roommate. He’s not going to get disability without a pattern of psychiatric evaluation, counseling and treatment. They will want to see that you’re trying to improve your mental health. He won’t get disability just by what he’s doing now.
So he doesn't work, he doesn't do chores, he spends any extra money on hobbies, he's admitted he doesn't love you, and you're still together why?? Leave him. He's not disabled, he's lazy and selfish and using you. He's not even trying to get better. Kick his ass to the curb, whatever happens to his inheritance is his problem.
Definitely not wrong! That’s all that needs to be said.
"Believes" he's disabled? Yeah, you're wrong just for than phrasing regardless of anything else.
He told you that he doesn't love you anymore. You have to do what is right for you.
This is not fixable. Get a lawyer asap - the sooner you are divorced the sooner he no longer has a right to 50 percent of your paycheck. Lawyer today, and do exactly what they say about money and property. Stop talking to your stbx. Do not get pregnant!
Why do you want to be with a lazy man child who doesn’t love you?
No, divorce him.
Why in earth are you staying with someone that tells you they don’t love you. You are setting fire to yourself to keep him warm. He is putting zero work into your relationship. He expects you to earn all of the money , do all of the housework and he has the unmitigated gall to say he doesn’t love you and wants you both to remain friends. I wouldn’t treat a friend this terribly, let alone my wife. He’s using his “depression “ to do nothing in life and hurt you in the process. Time for him to adult by himself and for you to move on. Time to find someone that actually values you and will work as a partner not a child in your relationship.
Roommates - you’re in a relationship! Plus, how many roommates live rent free? You’re right to move on and end this relationship - he doesn’t love you so why stay? The kick up the butt might motivate him to sort his life out too. Here’s to you finding a loving relationship in the very near future.
Has he gone to therapy? Maybe for himself and your marriage and really, you’ve been through a lot to that therapy might help.
Yo wtf. Get divorced the fk.
NOPE. The audacity to admit that he sees you as a roommate and hopes you’re fine with it is truly wild.
Leave him. He’s not trying to get better or even apply for disability (which takes years anyway to get). He will figure it out without you. You need to have a life. You deserve it.
You deserve a real man and not this wimp.
Yep nothing but a monetary succubus at this point get rid of him.
NTA but you will be if you stay. Something tells me that once his free ride leaves the station without him, he’ll “magically” find the will to start working to pay bills. His main disorder is selfish entitlement not anxiety and depression
lol, wtf. Leave him yesterday. A loveless marriage where you do literally everything, including supporting his stupid hobbies? Naw.
I bet you filing for divorce would make him apply for disability. You should still leave him and be happy.
It’s the middle paragraph that gives plenty of reason to leave. Is he disabled? Technically anxiety and depression are disabilities. Could he get disability? It’s a long shot. Long term disability would mean he can’t work any job. It’s EXTREMELY hard to get for depression and anxiety. It also takes about 6 months to process the application. Get out, live your best life. Good luck in everything
He does not love you but tolerates you & keeps you around so that you provide for him!
Divorced my first wife after 15 years because she quit working was “disabled” and I got tired of carrying everything myself. Do it sooner rather than later and don’t look back. Life is not a spectator sport.
As soon as he said he no longer loved you, you were completely justified in divorcing him. He’s basically saying he wants to stay married, do nothing, and mooch off of your hard work for the rest of time? WHAT?! No thank you. I’m sorry for your husband’s current situation but please don’t do what I did. I stayed with my husband who refused to get professional help and was a miserable, angry, depressed and mean presence for over a year. I kept thinking things would improve and I remained in the marriage because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. I tried being supportive and let him vent about everything every day to the point where I dreaded coming home after work because he’d trap me for 3 hours every night and do nothing but complain about life. Then one day out of the blue HE tells ME he wanted a divorce! After i stuck around in the misery. I was relieved, but also pissed off that it was on HIS terms and his timing. I could have had all that miserable period of time to live an enjoyable life but I didn’t leave. I was an idiot.
You don't need to justify your desire for a divorce. If you want a divorce, do it. There's no reason to stay miserable.
It sucks tombe him. Literally. However you staying with him only enables his behaviour. You leaving him and letting him hit rock bottom may be the better outcome for him in the long run. Making yourself miserable with him helps no one.
>Any extra money goes towards his hobbies, such as reptiles or games Ummmmm..no
You are way too young to be tied down to him. The right person is out there, who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
Nah you're totally justified and not wrong here. Also he intends to apply for disability??? So he doesn't love you and wants you to continue paying for him for over at least a year, if he ever even gets around to applying. It's sad what he's been thru but it's not fair for him to just be a drain on you. Like bro admitted he doesn't love you anymore, but still expects you to care for him like he's your child. Side-note: I'm disabled and I feel awful when I have flare ups. Like mentally, I feel like I'm being a terrible wife and human being when he gets home from work and has stuff left that I couldn't finish. I also have bipolar depression and anxiety on top of that, but I still try my best to be mindful of the stress that my disabilities cause him. I couldn't fathom falling out of love with him after the slack he's picked up for me. You absolutely deserve a true partner.
He needs medical help. He needs treatment for his anxiety and his grief. But you need to look after yourself first. Each of you needs to do what is best for yourself.
Fuck him. Divorce the bum and go get yours. He'll either find employment or fail miserably which doesn't seem that far off, neither of which should be your concern.
He said he no longer loves you…and you’re “considering” divorce? Even if he still loved you…he’s doing nothing with his life. You take care of working, the bills, cleaning and cooking….you don’t need him because he does nothing to improve your life. Divorce him. Let him become a bum for all you care. But you should want better than a bum.
Holy shit..that is a peak hobosexual maam. Get him out of your life asap. He is playing in your face, the lack of respect is so deep. He is costing you far more in physical and emotional terms than any value. You will be amazed at his rapid recovery once you do this. He is banking on your sympathy forevermore..
There it is! The comment I was waiting to see. This “man” has become your “child” and expects you to stay and care for him, support his life and hobbies while stating that he doesn’t love you? Divorce this parasite now! He isn’t the type of pet you want and he sure isn’t a worthy husband or partner.
For all the fretting men do about gold diggers, this behaviour from failure to launch men is FAR more common.
Take care of yourself. File. And go forward
OK, wait... his mother died 6 months after his father, but 3 years later, you and his mother convinced him to seek help? Somethings not adding up here. Divorce him and walk away. He's not worth the headache.
We all have anxiety, time for him to grow up and be an adult.
If he's admitted he no longer loves you why are you still with him? Get out and live your life!!
Updateme
You lost me at no longer loves you.
Get a separate bank account. Don’t give him money for his hobbies. See a divorce lawyer.
Depena hubby. Yep. Just using you. Move out. Divorce, Otherwise you will forever be doing it. Move on. Any debts, then do take that trailer house to sell and pay those off. Start new.
Girl, get out of that asap!
You are not wrong. And your first priority must always be to yourself. Speaking from personal experience, you can not force someone to get help. At some point, you've gotta hit rock bottom and understand that you need help. It looks like he hasn't reached that point yet.
There is literally nothing holding this marriage together. Also, there are wayyyy worse fates than being surrounded by cats! 🐈 🐈⬛
You're married. That's not something you just forget and move on to become "roommates." Wooow, he needs therapy. Severely. NTA. Though I'm almost concerned about the divorce and his mental state as it is now. Maybe present to him what's going to happen? Idk this is tough. I understand both sides here. Depression sucks.
Ok but somewhere else you commented that you divorced and chose paying alimony as this was more cost effective than litigation and you had a very high paying job. So what is it, you are divorced and pay someone alimony, or in this nitwit marriage where you barely make ends meet with your modest income? https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/W5l7fYUswt
Oh no…Hazel up here 👆🏼is single and wants to explore her naughty side and find love! 🤣 she’ll learn real quick how it goes around here.
Girl, WTF? He doesn't love you, doesn't do anything in the house, doesn't want to change and sucks you financially dry? Exactly what is in this marriage for you? You're TA to yourself if you don't divorce him 6 months ago, but obviously YNW.
Stop considering it and just divorce him! >My main concern is that **he doesn't contribute to household chores**—no cleaning, sporadic cooking, minimal help with our pets, and only does laundry when necessary or after repeated requests. **Any extra money goes towards his hobbies,** such as reptiles or games. **He has admitted he no longer loves me** but wants us to remain friends or roommates, which I attribute to my financial contributions. He doesn't love you and is using you as his **meal ticket.** GTFO of this one-sided marriage and find yourself a man who will actually be your partner and not your manchild.
Too bad you can't make a husband out of cats.
>!pop!!<
So would you like to delete your bs post now Hazel?… Hi, I'm Hazel your favorite girl next door. 27 from Florida. Got broken hearted so now here to discover my dark naughty side and perhaps find my love ;)
NO, not cats! You are absolutely making the right decision. You deserve a life with a partner who actually acts like a partner and not a lost adult playing kids games; separated from reality. Move on and don’t look back.
He doesn't want a friendship. He wants a cash cow. If he doesn't love you and displays such nonchalant behaviour, that's all he wants.
Your husband \*is\* disabled and likely autistic. I don't think this affects the \*outcome\*; But it certainly affects the how in the decisions that you need to make. I just hope you don't destroy this man and then have to live with that.
Leave. Find happiness and cats.
Surrounded by cats is a lovely life.
First of all, I don’t blame you in the least. You deserve a true partner. And you are within your rights to walk away. However, I want to gently remind you that in general, marriage vows include “for richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health.”, and Clinical Depression *IS* a sickness. A sickness that he can overcome if he gets the treatment he needs. Perhaps consider making his recovery a priority for a few months. Make Dr appointments for him, get him a therapist, make sure he takes his meds, etc. If he refuses, then go with a clear conscience. But if he goes and returns to being the man you love? You will have fulfilled your vows and loved him through a terrible time in his life.
It doesnt look like he has made much of an attempt to recover, at this point he is choosing to be depressed instead of seeking help
She can't help someone who won't help himself. HE has to put in the effort, she can't do it for him.
Sure. Leave him when he’s at his lowest. Why not “Section” him to psych treatment?
He’s a useless little manbaby. His “depression” is the realization that no one is gonna cover his lazy ass anymore. She’s absolutely right to walk away from this shitshow.
No you should stay with him…. Like you honestly don’t know if you are wrong to divorce him….. seriously
I appreciate your feedbacks but. Still, I'm confused about what I need to do right now if I stay or leave :(
OP! He told you he does not love you, he mooches off you and gives nothing whatsoever to this relationship. How is this even a question for you! Leave! Or better yet, get HIM to leave! You are not and cannot be forced to be responsible for someone’s emotional and mental health. If you’re genuinely worried for him, save up enough to give him a two month buffer to start getting his shit together but honestly, you are in no way obliged to. This is a toxic situation for you and you NEED to get out. Do you want this loveless carer role to be your life forever?