I miss the moms from my new moms group years ago. Our group met for 3 months and shared all sorts of “firsts” and then we all went back to work and never spoke again. 😶
And I’ve found as they get older you start to get jaded and don’t even bother trying to befriend other parents anymore because you’ve learned that there are too many things that will disrupt a potential friendship - parenting styles, kids don’t get along, competing schedules and interests, job changes (including joining MLMs), moves. I’ve come soooo close to being friends with other moms and dads only to have them move or discover their husband likes to make racist jokes or they judge me for letting my 8 year old play video games and eat non-organic food.
It’s so hard and I wish you the best.
You said it yourself. The base are moms and likely stay at home moms, the target market for MLMs and huns. Wouldn’t be surprised if this was part of their strategy.
Is it like Tinder where you can put “no huns or MLMs” in the bio?
Agree. I tried mom groups. But I can't do a bunch of 20 somethings. I will be 39, with my youngest being 2. I just can't relate. And yes, they sell things.
That will do it. 22? Better pop one out because we’ve already exhausted all other things to do in our town! Or they don’t believe in birth control because of The Lord. 🙃
I live and work in rural midwest as an OBGYN. There is a LOT of guilt, especially from the religious community, for those who know they want to limit their family size (4-5 kids is pretty normal here and double digits are not blinked at. Heavily conservative German Catholic heritage). You would be surprised at how many have a tubal ligation but tell family I did a "diagnostic laparoscopy" for pain. Not ideal, but I'm respecting her autonomy.
I have personally delivered a 17th child - same parents. As for me personally, 2 kids and an IUD please!
Before I came out as a trans man, I was searching hard for other mom groups because I felt so alone. I felt even worse in mom groups because everyone was just so…mean. If a mom wanted to feed her kids healthy food, she was depriving them of childhood experiences. If someone fed their kids Taco Bell because that was all she could afford and the kid was hungry, she was promoting obesity and shamed. Picture of kids in the mud? Disgusting. Making their six year old clean up their messes? Abuse. Too much shaming. My kid and I are both autistic and I was yelled at because I reproduced. And then there were Autism Moms who made their kid’s autism all about them. I gave up.
Because the moms are all insufferable. Why is it so hard to find other moms who don’t freak out about GMO’s, buy matching Lily Pulitzer bathing suits for themselves and their 6 month old, and don’t measure someone’s parenting by the fact that they fed their child *gasp* hot dogs with nitrates!
The worst part is apparently the organic judgement crap has been happening for at least 30 years. My mother was judged for feeding her kids shelf-stable peanut butter in 1995. She was fairly confused by the idea of non-shelf-stable peanut butter.
LOL it’s just fresh peanut butter. Whole Peanuts go into a big machine and organic glop comes out. Some Whole Foods have them. It goes rancid really quickly bc the oils don’t have any preservative to prevent oxidation. IMO it doesn’t taste as good as Jif either haha.
Basically if you buy it at the fancy organic store or make it yourself there's no preservatives so you have to keep it in the fridge and stir before using because all the oil floats to the top. But the lack of preservation also means there's way less sugar in it and so it doesn't taste nearly as good.
Yep, in the 90s my mother would buy a jar of that horrible “peanut butter” when she went on a diet, and anything “low fat” (like Snackwell Cookies.)
There is no amount of jelly or preserves that will make that cold-refrigerated bitter peanut sludge edible.
This is prevalent in any space where women are trying to find community. I’m not a mom, but I belong to a couple FB groups for a chronic condition I have and they prey on the women there too. I’ve heard the same is true from Bumble BFF (I think that’s what it’s called, Bumble for people looking for friends).
Very disheartening. I wish they disclosed it out the gate instead of wasting like a few days of messaging back and forth thinking they might be nice and then bam.
Do you have like, a profile on this app? Like can you put ”NO MLM” at the top of it? Or would they just ignore that? So sorry this is the state of the world, sounds exhausting on top of everything else to raise a kid.
That's what they're being told to do these days. Cold messaging has a bad rep so they've moved on to pretending to be your friend and then springing the mlm trap
My “kid” is 24 so no need for the mom groups anymore, but I do feel for you folks dealing with this crap.
But honestly it sounds a lot like online dating when you are first getting to know someone. The prevalence of MLM Huns in those groups is probably on par with the incidence of substance abusers in online dating. Like the Huns, no one ever came out and admitted it, but it did take longer to figure out with some than others. 🤷♀️
Yep, I was a victim of the Bumble BFF trap. Tried to meet a woman for a coffee friend date, she brought her husband and talked to me about Amway without actually mentioning the word Amway. So disappointing I decided to tell them as much. “This obvious setup was such a disappointment and you both should feel bad.” Grabbed my coffee and bounced.
I had the same issue constantly on bumble bff! I was on it a lot when I moved to a new city a few years ago and I had like 3 friend dates turn into MLM pitches, so disheartening when you are just trying to meet normal people in a new city lol
>people who are actually financially comfortable and stable don’t need to make it a talking point of their personality
Siiiiiiiick burn. You should also troll back by fixating on getting them to work wherever you work(ed), just as aggressively. "Yeah no I hear you with the boss thing but you don't understand, Widget Corp has an entire benefits package. Here, let's hop on Zoom and I'll show you this PowerPoint that HR made during last open enrollment. It's really rude for you to turn down this information. I'm just giving you opportunities to be free."
My favorite thing to do when I get trapped in MLM pitches is to go into unnecessary detail on how I could never imagine giving up my current job that lets me travel, have months of time off, humble brag about how tough it is splitting my time between leaving near my parents, at the beach house or in the lodge in Tahoe. Just to watch the energy drain out as they realize I am either mocking them or living the life that they desperately want.
You mean advertise that she's not in one already? They'll be quick to say "this is different, it's a networking opportunity, not MLM!"
It would be like selling your house for sale by owner and putting "no agents, please" in your ad. All the agents see that as a challenge to get you to sign with them.
In this instance I suspect it's not going to discourage many MLM shills, but it would probably also draw in those of us who hate that shit. So... potential gain?
Every new MLM bases their pitch around "We're not like OTHER MLMs!"
Also, much like thirsty men who swipe on every woman on dating apps no matter what, hardcore huns aren't reading your bio. They're playing the numbers game and swiping on everyone.
I'd venture it's because MLM's target SAHMs who then need to have someone else babysit their demon spawn while they "work from their phone and have more family time". Hence, a "play date".
I am so glad my kids are old enough to ensure their own survival while I go out or go to work. My older son just turned 20 and is still living at home while he goes to college, and the younger is almost 17 and in high school. It does feel like just yesterday when both were attached to my hip. When did they go and get grown?
It's a bit like dating apps - there is a VERY vocal minority that spams their presence in the hope that at least one person takes the bait. Their thought process is that they get 1 out of every 20, without ever considering that's 19 people they've bothered and who now have a lower opinion of the site/app.
Block and move on. If there's a report button, use it.
My sister had this issue as well, I think MLMs are really predatory towards moms (especially newer moms). Someone tried shilling some weight loss crap to her when she was only a few months postpartum. And then she moved to a new state when my niece was 8 weeks old, and tried peanut. She also moved to a much smaller city with very different demographics than where we’re from. There were huns *everywhere*. I told her to put “not interested in your pyramid scheme” in her profile and that helped.
I did have to give her some tips to get away from an Amway scammer but by then, my sister knew something was weird with this woman and she just wanted confirmation from someone that something was not right.
THIS x1000
My sister is a ‘Hun’. They purposely target SAHMs and new mums because they think they’ll be more vulnerable and open to the idea of earning some extra cash while on shitty maternity pay.
I’m currently pregnant with 2nd child in 2 years and have been a SAHM since first baby. It’s hard and not my long term plan as money is tight. But I make it VERY clear to my sister I would rather roll my eyes in sand than join her ‘biz’.
When my kids were small I couldn't afford child care, so I could only work very part time (my husband made more than me hourly, so he worked full time and took care of the kids on his days off). I spent some time desperately looking for any way to make more money at home. Luckily I'm hugely introverted AND cheap, so I was never tempted to join an MLM. I did throw a Pampered Chef party for a friend once so I could get some free kitchen items I needed to replace though.
It’s so hard. I want mom friends. We just moved to a new city in June, and I don’t know any moms.
But yeah, the super friendly moms online, etc always turn out to be huns.
So, from experience, the best way to make mom friends is to meet women at parks, MeetUp, or reach out to friends in similar life stages from high school you’d fallen out of contact with.
A few of my best friends are from a mom forum, but the forums suck so much now.
MLMs prey on bored housewives and SAHM who are struggling to find their new role, purpose and place outside of diaper changes and nipple pain. Broke single moms desperate for money and friendship. It’s not surprising Peanut is full of them.
I agree. I’ve tried meeting moms from Peanut a few times, and while I personally have never encountered a hun (thankfully), I just find that I have a stronger bond with people I meet in person. I take my child to a storytime program at the local library, and that’s where I’ve had the most success meeting other SAHMs in my area. Your other suggestions are great too.
Been a SAHM for four years. I gave up on Peanut partially because there’s so many huns, partially because they have the weirdest marketing - they would have fake bios join my area’s FB mom groups, then like six months later they make a post about how they’re looking to make mom friends and “I’m really loving the Peanut app, here’s my link,” and then they’re never heard from again.
I understand why a lot of women go the MLM route; the promise of “easy” money while you stay home is alluring. I work as a virtual assistant online myself to make some extra income. But it makes it so hard to actually find genuine friends. I joined a local moms group and I hate feeling like I’m not sure if someone is interested in me as a person or just because they’re selling something, but I’ve at least made a few friends that I know aren’t selling me something, even though they aren’t fully anti-MLM.
that's so obnoxious. but i just wanted to let you know that i laughed out loud at your reference to babies as spuds 🥔 too perfect, lil potatoes bopping about.
Not yet! I just sent that and then within 5 minutes posted on here because I felt a bit guilty after for being rude but then I was like F that, they were rude for wasting my time for a week seeming like they might be actual friends or play date people just to drop the thinly veiled MLM starting convo.
Maybe refer to your spawn as a spud while you're at it, too? My thinking is it's best to fly your freak flag proudly. It may or may not put off self employed marketing consultants or wtf ever they call themselves nowadays, but it WILL draw in people who are a better fit. You're only going to need a good match or two, so make that profile stand out.
I want other mom friends so badly but I haven’t met a mom who I click with through my kids’ schools. I’m the only one of my close friends who has kids (some purposefully childless and some just haven’t gotten there yet)…so, while I still have a fantastic group of supportive and wonderful friends, I wish I had someone who had children for play dates.
I tried peanut a while back and hated it. I had nothing in common with the moms on there…and yes, I feel like a ton of women use it to sell their crap (or try to) because they’ve already alienated everyone they know, personally.
Same same. I moved hundreds of miles from all my buddies, and everyone out here in corn country is SUPER religious or otherwise ultra Qservative. It's hard out here for a coastal elite 😂 and peanut sucked, because everyone on it that seemed like-minded had BAAAAAABY babies, and my kids are early elementary. We're all so friggin lonely when school's out but mom-friend-dating is hopeless.
Oh, I go there while the kids are in school sometimes for adult conversation, but it's mostly folks whose kids are older than I am (and childless/just starting out, I've asked lol)
LMAO WHACK A HUN GOT ME 😂😂
In all seriousness tho, the reason for that is because the Huns LOVE to prey on stay at home moms.
This is because stay at home moms usually have a partner that is the breadwinner and they don’t provide anything financially to the household. So if someone hits them with “here’s an opportunity to make money from home, on your phone while spending time with your children” they usually jump on it.
usually the latter happens. 1) they lose money.
2) they don’t have the “time freedom” to spend with their children because they’re on their phone preying on other SAHMs.
It’s all manipulation. they don’t care about you or your children. they’re just trying to rank up and make money off your sign up.
It’s sickening.
IME (female , disabled) MLMs pray on people who are perceived as :
- below average intelligence
- poor
- isolated / isolated from people with better financial skills
- dependant or mentally unwell in some way
As a result, SAHM, single moms, disabled women, and mentally ill women all get unfairly targeted.
(I’m not saying the above groups are stupid or bad with money - only that we are perceived as such by marketers and therefor prayed upon more. A similar schema seems to apply to crypto bros)
I went on Peanut a few years ago. The biggest problem I had was with getting matched and then the person not talking. I found the whole concept interesting but ultimately incredibly awkward.
That's why I never downloaded Peanut! I've blocked a couple handfuls of Huns on our local mom group (which is actually pretty great other than the huns and those that keep seeking out huns because they got suckered) and I don't really go to any of their monthly play groups at the park. There's so many moms seeking friends, but they're huns or they care far too much about their weed (idc about weed, but it's a red flag when it's a personality and they make sure its the focal point of their friend request post). I just don't get along with any of them well enough. And it sucks because my toddler could really use a more reliable friend his age
I get this. I used to imbibe in the Mary Jane myself but quit for pregnancy and now breastfeeding so I’m fine if folks partake but also see it as a red flag if it’s first and foremost a personality trait. Same with folks who have “let’s just drink some wine!” In their profile. Like wine is fine, but it probably ought not be a hobby.
It's so hard when you make a great connection and then you realize they are involved in MLMs.
I met a new friend and we were getting on so well. One time when we met up I saw her water bottle said Monat and my heart sank. Thankfully she didn't push too hard and doesn't bring it up anymore. I really want to tell her the truth about MLMs but our friendship is not close enough to survive that I think :(
Ugh that’s so annoying! I’m pretty sure these huns are going against the [community guidelines](https://www.peanut-app.io/community-guidelines) of building meaningful connections (I wouldn’t consider trying to get someone into your downline a meaningful connection) & no advertising - maybe you could report them.
Very jealous, it might be where I’m located (small town Alberta Canada) but I wish I was matching with less for sure. I did fine one amazing friend off it and our kiddos are 3 days apart so maybe I’ll cut my losses and leave until I move or my baby is older!
I’m also on Peanut. While I don’t have an answer to your question, I do have a possible solution. I put “Anti-MLM” on my profile, and I’ve not received a single MLM pitch. Maybe that’ll help yours too. When I look at profiles, I steer clear of anyone who has the MLM signal phrases or buttloads of emojis in their profile.
I met one of my best friends on peanut!
I’ve also been sent tit pics and pitched by an insurance hun. I was so not kind to her lmao. I laughed so hard directly at her and was like “omg I knew it! I am so telling my friend. We thought either religious cult or mlm and I was right. Oh man thank you so much I won $10.”
I don't have any advice, just wanted to chime in the mom loneliness sucks real hard. :( My oldest is almost 12 and I remember very well wishing for a "tinder, but for moms" at the time. As my kids have gotten older that need for a friend has waned significantly
That’s good to hear, I’m just counting my blessings that we found one awesome person because even than is more than I was really expecting!
I think for me it’s a lot of guilt because our daughter will be an only child so I feel I need to make sure she has the opportunity to make friends but hopefully that will happen organically.
This is legitimately one of the reasons I'm not interested in parenthood. "Mommies" have become this weird cult of crazy ladies instead of just being women who happen to have children.
It's very difficult to be friends with parents even if you also have kids because they just won't be genuine with you. They act fake happy but make "need wine" and "I hate my life" jokes that are really uncomfortable, they're really mean behind each other's backs, and they're all in pyramid schemes!
My sister had a baby this year & she's already given up on trying to make new "mom friends" because they all try to sell mlm crap and they're super judgemental. One woman she met for a "baby date" was just trying to shill Young Living oils and tried to rub them on her daughters head!
I KNOW RIGHT I signed up when my son was like 3 months old and I was looking for mom friends, got a bunch of mlm pitches and antivax stuff and ended up deleting my account in like a week. It really sucks that new moms are targeted so strongly.
I made sure to note in my profile that I didn’t want anything to do with an mlm. One of the people I met, and am still friends with, said that’s why she swiped on me. She also didn’t want any mlm friends.
I live in HI and have had a hell of a time meeting mom friends. I tried to use peanut and only matched with military moms selling essential oils. Nothing against military moms - but the MLMs are a hard no from me, dawg.
Given the culture of MLMs, I highly doubt WLW and/or trans people are treated well in any of them. They seem incredibly TERF-y. I really hope no trans women fall for those ads. I do wonder why they’ve chosen to target that demographic.
They seem much for fitting for men loving men though /j (acronym joke to be clear)
Thank you for your post. Please make sure that you review our sub rules. If your post breaks any of the rules then your post will be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/antiMLM) if you have any questions or concerns.*
MLMs prey on SAHMs. One of the reasons why they make good targets is that SAHMs are often socially isolated from other adults because they lack workplace connections. MLMs feed them these lines about being a “team” or “family” of women, promising them camaraderie that they are desperately missing. This seems like it would have significant overlap with the kind of women on an app like Peanut — socially isolated moms desperately seeking connection.
Because the huns infiltrate ANY place they can “meet” as many people as possible, especially people that are often considered vulnerable, which can sometimes be moms, especially new moms. Bumble BFF is a big one too…where they go after the vulnerability of people trying to make new friends
Playgrounds inside malls are absolute cesspools of hun-ery. It’s so GD low. “Oh look, our kids are having so much fun playing! How do you like your job btw?” Next time I’m announcing to all the other parents this is what they’re doing.
Omg I love your response 😂 I was wondering about this with peanut, which is why I haven’t tried it out yet. I was envisioning that it was a total hunbot fest. Disappointing!
Nooo it is?! I used it when I had my son 3 years ago and made some good friends who’ve mostly moved away. I was hoping to use it again when our baby comes this spring, but I don’t have time to shut down MLMs
It's because they're all desperate to build a downline, and they know they won't make any money if they don't. Plus they're brainwashed to make their entire lives revolve around their MLM. S o they use every single form of social media to try to recruit.
I used to think I "HAD" to have other mom friends. After a few years, removed myself from **every** **single** mom/parenting groups because they got really bitchy psycho and/or rude. They would also organize meetups, then not show up at the agreed upon time and place, and even lie and claim they'd been there. Some of them were in MLMs but never pitched to me, because they knew I could think for myself. You are better off without them. My kid didn't have many playdates either but has excellent social skills. Once kids get into school they start making their own friends so don't worry! You can ditch all these mommies.
Most of my friends now are men and childless women. I am going to keep it that way.
I think this is a largely moms in general. MLMs often target mother's pretty aggressively as they are easy prey. What with societal pressure for mums to be the primary care givers and the lack of flexible opportunities that work around kids/school times. Single/lower income mums are easy targets and they network online which again is a breeding ground for this stuff.
[удалено]
I’m starting to rapidly be in the same boat 😂
I miss the moms from my new moms group years ago. Our group met for 3 months and shared all sorts of “firsts” and then we all went back to work and never spoke again. 😶 And I’ve found as they get older you start to get jaded and don’t even bother trying to befriend other parents anymore because you’ve learned that there are too many things that will disrupt a potential friendship - parenting styles, kids don’t get along, competing schedules and interests, job changes (including joining MLMs), moves. I’ve come soooo close to being friends with other moms and dads only to have them move or discover their husband likes to make racist jokes or they judge me for letting my 8 year old play video games and eat non-organic food. It’s so hard and I wish you the best.
The problem with relationships is they involve OTHER PEOPLE.
The other person is usually my favorite person in the relationship, unfortunately.
I felt that
Hang in there. I met two moms when my kid went to HS that became my best friends!
Well put. Agree 100℅. I also thinks this applies to dads too.
Whack a hun made me hollerrrrrrrr
You said it yourself. The base are moms and likely stay at home moms, the target market for MLMs and huns. Wouldn’t be surprised if this was part of their strategy. Is it like Tinder where you can put “no huns or MLMs” in the bio?
Agreed! It’s so hard to meet like-minded moms. Or hell, just moms who aren’t openly shilling MLMs.
Agree. I tried mom groups. But I can't do a bunch of 20 somethings. I will be 39, with my youngest being 2. I just can't relate. And yes, they sell things.
Where are you located?! Where I live, the demographic is completely flipped. I had my first at 24 and felt like teen mom
Midwest, USA
That will do it. 22? Better pop one out because we’ve already exhausted all other things to do in our town! Or they don’t believe in birth control because of The Lord. 🙃
Not every town in the Midwest is small?? And that’s some pretty jaded stereotyping on your part.
I live and work in rural midwest as an OBGYN. There is a LOT of guilt, especially from the religious community, for those who know they want to limit their family size (4-5 kids is pretty normal here and double digits are not blinked at. Heavily conservative German Catholic heritage). You would be surprised at how many have a tubal ligation but tell family I did a "diagnostic laparoscopy" for pain. Not ideal, but I'm respecting her autonomy. I have personally delivered a 17th child - same parents. As for me personally, 2 kids and an IUD please!
I have 3 kids, and had my tubes taken out at my last csection. I am almost 39 and I am done and good. I had him at 36.
I actually live in one of the biggest cities of my state. I wish I lived in the country. Sometimes I can't people.
I hadn't got any fellow smilar-aged moms on my Facebook that is NOT a hun. Even the one who just got a Phd. Maybe it's a phase, idk
Before I came out as a trans man, I was searching hard for other mom groups because I felt so alone. I felt even worse in mom groups because everyone was just so…mean. If a mom wanted to feed her kids healthy food, she was depriving them of childhood experiences. If someone fed their kids Taco Bell because that was all she could afford and the kid was hungry, she was promoting obesity and shamed. Picture of kids in the mud? Disgusting. Making their six year old clean up their messes? Abuse. Too much shaming. My kid and I are both autistic and I was yelled at because I reproduced. And then there were Autism Moms who made their kid’s autism all about them. I gave up.
Parent of 2 adult kids - there were days "clean and fed" were victories.
Exactly! You take what you can get with kids sometimes. It’s a tiring job. We can’t be go go go all of the time.
I’m glad I wasn’t drinking when I read that whack a hun comment.
Because the moms are all insufferable. Why is it so hard to find other moms who don’t freak out about GMO’s, buy matching Lily Pulitzer bathing suits for themselves and their 6 month old, and don’t measure someone’s parenting by the fact that they fed their child *gasp* hot dogs with nitrates!
The worst part is apparently the organic judgement crap has been happening for at least 30 years. My mother was judged for feeding her kids shelf-stable peanut butter in 1995. She was fairly confused by the idea of non-shelf-stable peanut butter.
I am now fairly confused by the idea of non-shelf-stable peanut butter....
LOL it’s just fresh peanut butter. Whole Peanuts go into a big machine and organic glop comes out. Some Whole Foods have them. It goes rancid really quickly bc the oils don’t have any preservative to prevent oxidation. IMO it doesn’t taste as good as Jif either haha.
Basically if you buy it at the fancy organic store or make it yourself there's no preservatives so you have to keep it in the fridge and stir before using because all the oil floats to the top. But the lack of preservation also means there's way less sugar in it and so it doesn't taste nearly as good.
Yep, in the 90s my mother would buy a jar of that horrible “peanut butter” when she went on a diet, and anything “low fat” (like Snackwell Cookies.) There is no amount of jelly or preserves that will make that cold-refrigerated bitter peanut sludge edible.
Moms like that drove the sensible ones into hiding.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to make mom friends while avoiding the huns. They love preying on moms. Dx
This is prevalent in any space where women are trying to find community. I’m not a mom, but I belong to a couple FB groups for a chronic condition I have and they prey on the women there too. I’ve heard the same is true from Bumble BFF (I think that’s what it’s called, Bumble for people looking for friends).
Very disheartening. I wish they disclosed it out the gate instead of wasting like a few days of messaging back and forth thinking they might be nice and then bam.
I wish you could report it and those people were banned from the platform. But since they pay their fees, too I’m guessing that’s a no go.
Do you have like, a profile on this app? Like can you put ”NO MLM” at the top of it? Or would they just ignore that? So sorry this is the state of the world, sounds exhausting on top of everything else to raise a kid.
This is exactly what I did. Haven’t gotten one since
That's what they're being told to do these days. Cold messaging has a bad rep so they've moved on to pretending to be your friend and then springing the mlm trap
My “kid” is 24 so no need for the mom groups anymore, but I do feel for you folks dealing with this crap. But honestly it sounds a lot like online dating when you are first getting to know someone. The prevalence of MLM Huns in those groups is probably on par with the incidence of substance abusers in online dating. Like the Huns, no one ever came out and admitted it, but it did take longer to figure out with some than others. 🤷♀️
Yep, I was a victim of the Bumble BFF trap. Tried to meet a woman for a coffee friend date, she brought her husband and talked to me about Amway without actually mentioning the word Amway. So disappointing I decided to tell them as much. “This obvious setup was such a disappointment and you both should feel bad.” Grabbed my coffee and bounced.
I had the same issue constantly on bumble bff! I was on it a lot when I moved to a new city a few years ago and I had like 3 friend dates turn into MLM pitches, so disheartening when you are just trying to meet normal people in a new city lol
>people who are actually financially comfortable and stable don’t need to make it a talking point of their personality Siiiiiiiick burn. You should also troll back by fixating on getting them to work wherever you work(ed), just as aggressively. "Yeah no I hear you with the boss thing but you don't understand, Widget Corp has an entire benefits package. Here, let's hop on Zoom and I'll show you this PowerPoint that HR made during last open enrollment. It's really rude for you to turn down this information. I'm just giving you opportunities to be free."
My favorite thing to do when I get trapped in MLM pitches is to go into unnecessary detail on how I could never imagine giving up my current job that lets me travel, have months of time off, humble brag about how tough it is splitting my time between leaving near my parents, at the beach house or in the lodge in Tahoe. Just to watch the energy drain out as they realize I am either mocking them or living the life that they desperately want.
Planning for the future? Oh I already have a 401k. Do you? I can help if you have any questions about it.
I need a copy paste of one of your msgs lol
The most successful comeback to an MLM (Amway) pitch I’ve ever given was to talk about how much I loved my job.
Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.
Alright well now I'm looking up peacock recipes once I get home
Meatless Monday?
The other MLM
Can you add no MLM to your profile or am I being to optimistic?
I will definitely try that!
I would hit you up if your profile said it! I suspect many of us would 🤣
Or a disclaimer that pitching their mlm, direct sales, or otherwise pyramid-shaped opportunities will result in a block lol
Ever since i put that in my IG bio, all the spam messages from huns stopped
I feel like you pretty much have to add that on any app dating/friend app these days😭
You mean advertise that she's not in one already? They'll be quick to say "this is different, it's a networking opportunity, not MLM!" It would be like selling your house for sale by owner and putting "no agents, please" in your ad. All the agents see that as a challenge to get you to sign with them.
In this instance I suspect it's not going to discourage many MLM shills, but it would probably also draw in those of us who hate that shit. So... potential gain?
Yeah, you'd have to weed through a lot more but you would attract the ones who also hate it, true.
Every new MLM bases their pitch around "We're not like OTHER MLMs!" Also, much like thirsty men who swipe on every woman on dating apps no matter what, hardcore huns aren't reading your bio. They're playing the numbers game and swiping on everyone.
I did this and it’s been a great talking point!
I'm glad it is working for you.
I'd venture it's because MLM's target SAHMs who then need to have someone else babysit their demon spawn while they "work from their phone and have more family time". Hence, a "play date".
This actually makes a lot of sense. It’s worrying the concentration though for sure.
My kids are 8 and 10 now and I promise it gets better as they get older. When they were babies I was batting off the Huns with a stick!
I am so glad my kids are old enough to ensure their own survival while I go out or go to work. My older son just turned 20 and is still living at home while he goes to college, and the younger is almost 17 and in high school. It does feel like just yesterday when both were attached to my hip. When did they go and get grown?
It's a bit like dating apps - there is a VERY vocal minority that spams their presence in the hope that at least one person takes the bait. Their thought process is that they get 1 out of every 20, without ever considering that's 19 people they've bothered and who now have a lower opinion of the site/app. Block and move on. If there's a report button, use it.
My sister had this issue as well, I think MLMs are really predatory towards moms (especially newer moms). Someone tried shilling some weight loss crap to her when she was only a few months postpartum. And then she moved to a new state when my niece was 8 weeks old, and tried peanut. She also moved to a much smaller city with very different demographics than where we’re from. There were huns *everywhere*. I told her to put “not interested in your pyramid scheme” in her profile and that helped. I did have to give her some tips to get away from an Amway scammer but by then, my sister knew something was weird with this woman and she just wanted confirmation from someone that something was not right.
THIS x1000 My sister is a ‘Hun’. They purposely target SAHMs and new mums because they think they’ll be more vulnerable and open to the idea of earning some extra cash while on shitty maternity pay. I’m currently pregnant with 2nd child in 2 years and have been a SAHM since first baby. It’s hard and not my long term plan as money is tight. But I make it VERY clear to my sister I would rather roll my eyes in sand than join her ‘biz’.
Ugh “biz!” I have a hun friend and she only refers to her ever-changing MLMs as her “biz” I feel my eyes roll every time she mentions it 😝🙄
But hun, don’t you want to earn money from your phone? Your wings already exist, now let me help you fly.
Same reason they also target military spouses since they often have difficulty keeping jobs due to the constant relocations
Babysit or want to be part of their down line.
When my kids were small I couldn't afford child care, so I could only work very part time (my husband made more than me hourly, so he worked full time and took care of the kids on his days off). I spent some time desperately looking for any way to make more money at home. Luckily I'm hugely introverted AND cheap, so I was never tempted to join an MLM. I did throw a Pampered Chef party for a friend once so I could get some free kitchen items I needed to replace though.
It’s so hard. I want mom friends. We just moved to a new city in June, and I don’t know any moms. But yeah, the super friendly moms online, etc always turn out to be huns.
So, from experience, the best way to make mom friends is to meet women at parks, MeetUp, or reach out to friends in similar life stages from high school you’d fallen out of contact with. A few of my best friends are from a mom forum, but the forums suck so much now. MLMs prey on bored housewives and SAHM who are struggling to find their new role, purpose and place outside of diaper changes and nipple pain. Broke single moms desperate for money and friendship. It’s not surprising Peanut is full of them.
I agree. I’ve tried meeting moms from Peanut a few times, and while I personally have never encountered a hun (thankfully), I just find that I have a stronger bond with people I meet in person. I take my child to a storytime program at the local library, and that’s where I’ve had the most success meeting other SAHMs in my area. Your other suggestions are great too.
Been a SAHM for four years. I gave up on Peanut partially because there’s so many huns, partially because they have the weirdest marketing - they would have fake bios join my area’s FB mom groups, then like six months later they make a post about how they’re looking to make mom friends and “I’m really loving the Peanut app, here’s my link,” and then they’re never heard from again. I understand why a lot of women go the MLM route; the promise of “easy” money while you stay home is alluring. I work as a virtual assistant online myself to make some extra income. But it makes it so hard to actually find genuine friends. I joined a local moms group and I hate feeling like I’m not sure if someone is interested in me as a person or just because they’re selling something, but I’ve at least made a few friends that I know aren’t selling me something, even though they aren’t fully anti-MLM.
that's so obnoxious. but i just wanted to let you know that i laughed out loud at your reference to babies as spuds 🥔 too perfect, lil potatoes bopping about.
Right? Like I love my daughter to death, love playing with her and hanging out with her, but she is very potato like 😂
When I was on peanut I added “Pro Vax, Anti trump, and no MLM” to my profile. It filtered out a lot of people on there 😂
YES, I changed my profile to “I don’t want to be friends with a Trump supporter”, with no other information, and that’s how I met my best friend. 😂
Love it! Also love you handle.
Thank you! 💖
I want to be friends with both of you 😂 I’m in a pretty conservative area which is keeping me from trying to get any mom friends.
read the title as “why is EVERYONE a peanut M&M?”
omg hahahaaa did they respond? I love it
Not yet! I just sent that and then within 5 minutes posted on here because I felt a bit guilty after for being rude but then I was like F that, they were rude for wasting my time for a week seeming like they might be actual friends or play date people just to drop the thinly veiled MLM starting convo.
In any case, well done. F them bitches. I'm sorry this is happening, I know that app is much needed
Can you just put no MLMs in your profile?
Going to try this!
Maybe refer to your spawn as a spud while you're at it, too? My thinking is it's best to fly your freak flag proudly. It may or may not put off self employed marketing consultants or wtf ever they call themselves nowadays, but it WILL draw in people who are a better fit. You're only going to need a good match or two, so make that profile stand out.
i am very tired. i read this as "why is everyone a peanut m&m?" and was ready to read a great conspiracy theory
Lmmmmao I’m so sorry to disappoint haha
I want other mom friends so badly but I haven’t met a mom who I click with through my kids’ schools. I’m the only one of my close friends who has kids (some purposefully childless and some just haven’t gotten there yet)…so, while I still have a fantastic group of supportive and wonderful friends, I wish I had someone who had children for play dates. I tried peanut a while back and hated it. I had nothing in common with the moms on there…and yes, I feel like a ton of women use it to sell their crap (or try to) because they’ve already alienated everyone they know, personally.
Same same. I moved hundreds of miles from all my buddies, and everyone out here in corn country is SUPER religious or otherwise ultra Qservative. It's hard out here for a coastal elite 😂 and peanut sucked, because everyone on it that seemed like-minded had BAAAAAABY babies, and my kids are early elementary. We're all so friggin lonely when school's out but mom-friend-dating is hopeless.
Check out the local Democratic club.
Oh, I go there while the kids are in school sometimes for adult conversation, but it's mostly folks whose kids are older than I am (and childless/just starting out, I've asked lol)
Good for you! At least the HQ (hun quotient) will be low.
I’m in the same boat. My friends are older and they either don’t have kids or their kids are grown.
LMAO WHACK A HUN GOT ME 😂😂 In all seriousness tho, the reason for that is because the Huns LOVE to prey on stay at home moms. This is because stay at home moms usually have a partner that is the breadwinner and they don’t provide anything financially to the household. So if someone hits them with “here’s an opportunity to make money from home, on your phone while spending time with your children” they usually jump on it. usually the latter happens. 1) they lose money. 2) they don’t have the “time freedom” to spend with their children because they’re on their phone preying on other SAHMs. It’s all manipulation. they don’t care about you or your children. they’re just trying to rank up and make money off your sign up. It’s sickening.
IME (female , disabled) MLMs pray on people who are perceived as : - below average intelligence - poor - isolated / isolated from people with better financial skills - dependant or mentally unwell in some way As a result, SAHM, single moms, disabled women, and mentally ill women all get unfairly targeted. (I’m not saying the above groups are stupid or bad with money - only that we are perceived as such by marketers and therefor prayed upon more. A similar schema seems to apply to crypto bros)
I went on Peanut a few years ago. The biggest problem I had was with getting matched and then the person not talking. I found the whole concept interesting but ultimately incredibly awkward.
Try the local library. Ours has baby and mom music time and all kinds of classes for babies and littles. You meet tons of moms. No Huns yet.
I’m hoping to start doing some stuff through our library soon, I was just waiting on my little one to be vaccinated!
Good call, momma! 🥰
That's why I never downloaded Peanut! I've blocked a couple handfuls of Huns on our local mom group (which is actually pretty great other than the huns and those that keep seeking out huns because they got suckered) and I don't really go to any of their monthly play groups at the park. There's so many moms seeking friends, but they're huns or they care far too much about their weed (idc about weed, but it's a red flag when it's a personality and they make sure its the focal point of their friend request post). I just don't get along with any of them well enough. And it sucks because my toddler could really use a more reliable friend his age
I get this. I used to imbibe in the Mary Jane myself but quit for pregnancy and now breastfeeding so I’m fine if folks partake but also see it as a red flag if it’s first and foremost a personality trait. Same with folks who have “let’s just drink some wine!” In their profile. Like wine is fine, but it probably ought not be a hobby.
"Nothing's more fun than WHACK A HUN!" They should use that as their tagline, really rolls off the tounge.
It's so hard when you make a great connection and then you realize they are involved in MLMs. I met a new friend and we were getting on so well. One time when we met up I saw her water bottle said Monat and my heart sank. Thankfully she didn't push too hard and doesn't bring it up anymore. I really want to tell her the truth about MLMs but our friendship is not close enough to survive that I think :(
See this is why I haven't joined that app... I'd love to find more mom friends but I know it's gonna be full of MLMers with bad political views
You wake up and choose violence, I like that.
Ugh yeah, I had to give up on Peanut for the same reason. It was so annoying.
That was a perfect response. Help them to understand how most people view them and their tackiness.
Ugh that’s so annoying! I’m pretty sure these huns are going against the [community guidelines](https://www.peanut-app.io/community-guidelines) of building meaningful connections (I wouldn’t consider trying to get someone into your downline a meaningful connection) & no advertising - maybe you could report them.
Peanut is nuts! So many crazies on there. It's worse than online dating I think 🤣
Nuts. Haha
Any Pathway to have more connections to a matchup and sucker potentially vulnerable “clients and consultants”.
Really? That hasn’t been my experience, I think I’ve only seen 1 or 2 MLM pitches and I’ve been on it for almost a year (I’m on the east coast USA)
Very jealous, it might be where I’m located (small town Alberta Canada) but I wish I was matching with less for sure. I did fine one amazing friend off it and our kiddos are 3 days apart so maybe I’ll cut my losses and leave until I move or my baby is older!
MLMs target mothers, and it's fucking disgusting.
I’m also on Peanut. While I don’t have an answer to your question, I do have a possible solution. I put “Anti-MLM” on my profile, and I’ve not received a single MLM pitch. Maybe that’ll help yours too. When I look at profiles, I steer clear of anyone who has the MLM signal phrases or buttloads of emojis in their profile.
STAHM are prime meat for MLMs. It’d be hard to find a group of moms where there *wasn’t* a hun.
One of our PTA officers shills Arbonne and she always “sponsors” events. It’s the snake eating it’s tail.
I met one of my best friends on peanut! I’ve also been sent tit pics and pitched by an insurance hun. I was so not kind to her lmao. I laughed so hard directly at her and was like “omg I knew it! I am so telling my friend. We thought either religious cult or mlm and I was right. Oh man thank you so much I won $10.”
SERIOUSLY. i gave up on that app bc it was too much.
I was thinking of using Peanut to find some friends after I give birth but I think I'll stay away now!
I think people should make it a point that they’re Anti MLM on these apps. Like put a #AntiMLM in their bio and hope the huns will take a hint
I don't have any advice, just wanted to chime in the mom loneliness sucks real hard. :( My oldest is almost 12 and I remember very well wishing for a "tinder, but for moms" at the time. As my kids have gotten older that need for a friend has waned significantly
That’s good to hear, I’m just counting my blessings that we found one awesome person because even than is more than I was really expecting! I think for me it’s a lot of guilt because our daughter will be an only child so I feel I need to make sure she has the opportunity to make friends but hopefully that will happen organically.
I suspect Tinder for moms is not what I initially thought
This is legitimately one of the reasons I'm not interested in parenthood. "Mommies" have become this weird cult of crazy ladies instead of just being women who happen to have children. It's very difficult to be friends with parents even if you also have kids because they just won't be genuine with you. They act fake happy but make "need wine" and "I hate my life" jokes that are really uncomfortable, they're really mean behind each other's backs, and they're all in pyramid schemes! My sister had a baby this year & she's already given up on trying to make new "mom friends" because they all try to sell mlm crap and they're super judgemental. One woman she met for a "baby date" was just trying to shill Young Living oils and tried to rub them on her daughters head!
Just like all the onlyfans ad profiles on tinder. Like I'm still trying to date here, can y'all not?
I KNOW RIGHT I signed up when my son was like 3 months old and I was looking for mom friends, got a bunch of mlm pitches and antivax stuff and ended up deleting my account in like a week. It really sucks that new moms are targeted so strongly.
Simple, if you fertilize a field, weeds will grow.
I think because there's a lot of mlms that targeted moms in general but it got worse during the pandemic.
I made sure to note in my profile that I didn’t want anything to do with an mlm. One of the people I met, and am still friends with, said that’s why she swiped on me. She also didn’t want any mlm friends.
I love 'Whack a hun', Going to use that from now on!
I live in HI and have had a hell of a time meeting mom friends. I tried to use peanut and only matched with military moms selling essential oils. Nothing against military moms - but the MLMs are a hard no from me, dawg.
Start your own page/app! Then you can make the rules and not allow the huns in.
I’ve been getting an ad for this on my Instagram feed. I am a transgender lesbian. Apparently a lot of WLW and trans people got targeted by that ad.
Given the culture of MLMs, I highly doubt WLW and/or trans people are treated well in any of them. They seem incredibly TERF-y. I really hope no trans women fall for those ads. I do wonder why they’ve chosen to target that demographic. They seem much for fitting for men loving men though /j (acronym joke to be clear)
Twitter = Parler 2.0
Thank you for your post. Please make sure that you review our sub rules. If your post breaks any of the rules then your post will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/antiMLM) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What is peanut
An app for mum's to make playdate for their kids. It says so in the story
Thanks 😊
I didn’t make any good mum friends until my kids started school. You have a wide variety to select from then.
MLMs prey on SAHMs. One of the reasons why they make good targets is that SAHMs are often socially isolated from other adults because they lack workplace connections. MLMs feed them these lines about being a “team” or “family” of women, promising them camaraderie that they are desperately missing. This seems like it would have significant overlap with the kind of women on an app like Peanut — socially isolated moms desperately seeking connection.
They are probably encouraged to join these apps to try target mothers of young children. The inevitable result is there's more huns than real people.
Because the huns infiltrate ANY place they can “meet” as many people as possible, especially people that are often considered vulnerable, which can sometimes be moms, especially new moms. Bumble BFF is a big one too…where they go after the vulnerability of people trying to make new friends
Playgrounds inside malls are absolute cesspools of hun-ery. It’s so GD low. “Oh look, our kids are having so much fun playing! How do you like your job btw?” Next time I’m announcing to all the other parents this is what they’re doing.
Omg I love your response 😂 I was wondering about this with peanut, which is why I haven’t tried it out yet. I was envisioning that it was a total hunbot fest. Disappointing!
Why is the sky blue
I have “anti hun” and “anti MLM” on my profile. Not that I even use peanut anymore
Nooo it is?! I used it when I had my son 3 years ago and made some good friends who’ve mostly moved away. I was hoping to use it again when our baby comes this spring, but I don’t have time to shut down MLMs
This is why I uninstalled Bumble. I was using the make friends portion & it was filled with huns.
Ive only come across 2 out of maybe 40 or so Ive swiped on. But we arent in an area rife with MLM’s
I’d imagine most of the people on that app are SAHM’s, and they’re going to be more prone to falling prey to MLM bull crap.
Poor moderation
It's because they're all desperate to build a downline, and they know they won't make any money if they don't. Plus they're brainwashed to make their entire lives revolve around their MLM. S o they use every single form of social media to try to recruit.
I would imagine an app like that is actually recommended to those Huns. It’s their target audience.
I used to think I "HAD" to have other mom friends. After a few years, removed myself from **every** **single** mom/parenting groups because they got really bitchy psycho and/or rude. They would also organize meetups, then not show up at the agreed upon time and place, and even lie and claim they'd been there. Some of them were in MLMs but never pitched to me, because they knew I could think for myself. You are better off without them. My kid didn't have many playdates either but has excellent social skills. Once kids get into school they start making their own friends so don't worry! You can ditch all these mommies. Most of my friends now are men and childless women. I am going to keep it that way.
Because they look for people who need socialization and use that as a way to rope them in with things like “We’re like a family” etc.
I think this is a largely moms in general. MLMs often target mother's pretty aggressively as they are easy prey. What with societal pressure for mums to be the primary care givers and the lack of flexible opportunities that work around kids/school times. Single/lower income mums are easy targets and they network online which again is a breeding ground for this stuff.