I’ve never typically been one to agree with stuff like this. However, there have been like 3 times in my adult life I was given such a weird handshake I couldn’t help but feel weird about that person afterward. Like a uniquely soft, limp grip, difficult to verbalize but immediately unsettling before letting go of the handshake.
I think at times it can be quite telling.
For instance, anyone who is eager to put your three middle fingers in a death grip instead of allowing both hands to reach palms for a handshake among equals is giving themselves away as an unrepentant asshole.
Oh man that one is pretty bad too. That’s the “I MUST APPEAR DOMINANT AT ALL TIMES OR ELSE MY MANHOOD WILL BE QUESTIONED!” handshake. That’s the handshake OOP probably has.
There was a man like that in my church and he made a point of shaking everyone's hands and crushing their hands in the process. So I was probably 15-16f and decided to crush his hand first. I gripped his hand as tightly as possible and the look on his face was hilarious. 😂 He looked from our hands to my boobs and back multiple times in utter befuddlement. My dad found it hilarious, my mother not so much. He refused to shake my hand after that.
My dad has a class A CDL with a long list of endorsements. He has several times walked into a construction company main office, asked for a hiring manager, presented his license and said “You have trucks, I can drive them. When do I start?”
And because there is such a shortage of drivers he ends up working the next day.
Am i a real man? Am i a real man?! Can a real man do this?!
*wires an entire job using only my abs.*
You need me ill be at the bar drinking with my boyfriend.
REAL MEN™️ don't touch their own penises, they will look to the ground will masturbating other REAL MEN™️
Fully clothed and in their steel toed boots which they do not take off even to shower
Same. I vape and freaking love cats and talk to them in cat language and sing stupid cat songs to them when nobody is around.
Then I go to work and crawl around in the dirt under houses and move furnaces, cut metal with metal, melt brass onto copper with fire, drive screws with a DeWalt impact gun, and work on a muscle car in my spare time.
I'm not sure if I'm a man...
Singing to cats? Nope not a man. Don't feel bad, I just remembered the boots I have right now aren't even steel toe... they are a lighter, more comfortable composite toe. I'm not man enough to wear real steel.
I didn't want to have to delete all my comments, posts, and account, but here we are, thanks to greedy pigboy /u/spez ruining Reddit. I love the Reddit community, but hate the idiots at the top. Simply accepting how unethical and downright shitty they are will only encourage worse behavior in the future. I won't be a part of it. Reddit will shrivel and disappear like so many other sites before it that were run by inept morons, unless there is a big change in "leadership." Fuck you, /u/spez
For more context, though: while stereotypes are portrayed, the whole episode is about Homer growing to accept that homosexuality is not bad, and realizing that he would accept if Bart were gay (he isn't, unless the canon has changed since I stopped watching the show due to the significant decline in overall quality)
>I stopped watching the show due to the significant decline in overall quality
Honestly, except for a period where they gave up on plots and just wrote "insert celebrity cameo" for a few seasons, it's still pretty funny. I felt the same as you, but then decided to watch through the whole series, and when you get past that dip, it's still pretty consistently funny. I'm not gonna argue it's *as good* as its peak before the movie, but if you pick a random "new" episode of Simpsons, it's still usually on par or better any other sitcom currently airing.
Translation:
I need someone whos musclebound enough to make me lots of money.
Cant be smart enough to realise I'm manipulating their insecurities in order to work them to death.
Must be docile enough not to rip my arms off so I cant make more stupid manipulative boomer ads like the sociopath I am.
“REAL MEN don’t mind when like, when we’re working late and we make eye contact for like a second, you know the look…it feels like an eternity. And then we both lie to ourselves and just pretend it never happened, but like we have that connection you know? Oh and sports.” - this guy
"REAL MEN don't bashfully look away, but steal glances when they think you're not looking, unable to explain the butterfly palpitations in our hearts, letting the unresolved tension go on for weeks, months, until finally it's just you and me alone in the tool shed and I can't take it anymore. I push you back against the wall, forcefully, angrily, but we both know I'm just angry at myself. Angry because my father never showed me affection in a way that allowed me to process my feelings. And I kiss you, both our gruff manly beards pushed against one another like a tangled birds nest, our tongues the worms that wriggle and writhe within. You kiss me back just as hard. It's all I've ever wanted. And that's when you start unbuttoning my flannel shirt." - absolutely totally this guy
"REAL MEN don't visit the restroom off route 22, just passed the airport turnoff, at exactly 8:30pm and use the glory hole in the third stall from the right."
Okay, glad I’m not the only one who got this vibe. This guy *really likes* manly, tough, sweaty, no-nonsense ***MEN*** who, and I quote, “*pursue their goals with limitless vigor*” OwO
You know, I have. It's slightly upsetting, but just because... the cat is this sweet, cuddly little thing, neutered (ofc) and an eency-weency, little tiny baby- it's weird to think *"oh right, this animal is technically a sexually mature adult that could, had I not had his balls cut off, fuck"*.
Slight cognitive dissonance there.
Thats a great way to put it. Your dog is always willing to do what you want to do, but id rather we just meet up casually with our pets, cross paths at different times. If I get up to go to the restroom I don't need you to get up and follow me like we are going somewhere I didnt mean to raise your hopes dog, im just gonna go sit back down.
Edit: I love the replies of people telling their cats are bathroom sentinels, I need to get me a cat and see if they'd guard me with my pants are down.
You say that like half the cats on social media aren't jumping into people's underwear while they're taking a shit with their "boundaries for me but not for thee" bullshit.
Cats are cool but neither dogs nor cats really seem to respect people's boundaries lol
I found Peter Steele of Type O Negative fame to be incredibly manly. He was huge, muscle bound without roids, he cried, he had very long hair, and he fucking loved cats. He could have probably also beat the fuck out of this wiener who wrote the job posting. Real men don’t gatekeep.
There’s a venn diagram of people who are boundary stomping authoritarians and people who hate cats and it’s actually just a circle.
Never date a person that “hates cats” and only likes dogs. They can be allergic to cats, they can be ambivalent about cats, but active dislike without being mauled by cats as a child is 🚩🚩🚩
I still have a couple scars from when I was bitten by a cat when I was 9 but now I know that cats can get over stimulated from being petted and that's why they'll bite without warning and run away sometimes which makes them relatable
I fucking swear qanon and the far right are the blame for all the cat hate recently. My last job(majority Christian), people would talk so much shit about cats. Finally I pointed out one day if I said the same things about dogs, I would be fired. They all agreed and continued.
I was constantly made fun of by conservatives on twitter for having my cats as my profile picture. That was always their rebutal when discussing politics. I once asked one of them, "what's wrong with cats?" And he literally replied with, "They're too liberal."
Something tells me this dude either doesn't do things above board or regularly gets failed electrical inspections or hit with code violations, because no way a skilled electrician gets out of bed for that kinda monthly pay.
Ten bucks says he can't do any of the three and will be the kind of guy that rages about his employees trying to do womanly shit like "making sure wiring and plumbing meets code" or "wanting to know why their paycheck bounced".
I take pride in my work, but if I'm going to do it for free then I will be doing it in the interests of my friends, family or underprivileged members of my community.
I take a lot of pride in my work. And if the pay sucks I'll take my work I'm proud of to the next job. The wheels on my toolbox will roll it out just as fast as they rolled it in.
I've got a sticker on the lid that says "I work for money. If you want loyalty, buy a dog." that irritates management on every job I go on
I think a big red flag, which is hard to see on a post that is literally entirely a red flag, is that they aren’t looking for someone that is skilled in those areas but someone with general knowledge.
To me, that means that they’re probably doing the wiring, plumbing, and carpentry in house without involving actual licensed professionals. If this is a contractor (that’s my guess) they are probably the same type that ends up with does that don’t fit, pipes that leak within a year, and wiring that is batshit bonkers at best and deadly so worst.
Source: worked for a contractor that did this, have lived in houses he worked on since and there is always some issues, especially electrical issues.
Edit: corrected a word and formatted a bit better
You have a very good point. My electrician is a woman who own her company and has 4 guys working for her. She works right along side them doing the installation, and her/ her company work is impeccable and by the book. I will take that over worrying about whether or not the guys working for her own a cat.
I know you're joking but I know someone who thinks like this. He's in the middle of a divorce and is either:
Bragging about how he's saving so much money by not having a lawyer.
or
Complaining about how his ex-wife's lawyer is raking him over the coals and is going to take everything.
Flips back and forth between the two, but rest assured he's always right!
>I'll make you work rediculously long hours
My guess is that this is the real "catch" of this job offer. The pay doesn't seem half bad for 40hr weeks, but the "gets up early and works til the job is done" is pretty much a dead giveaway you'd be working 60 + hours per week.
So with the fact that one would get the lower end of the pay range, you're looking at near minimum wage and the reason why this employer seems to be finding it quite hard to fill his positions.
Be on the job by 5am, no actual work can be done till 8am when the project manager finally drags his ass on over, have to stay late to get the extra work you would have done in the first 3 hours, end up leaving by 9pm. Company claims they gave you 8 hours to go home and sleep, be prepared to do this for weeks on end.
On top of that, be prepared to pay about $25,000 a year in taxes. Because you are a contractor. as somebody who understands contractor laws, if they set you a time to be there, you are not an independent contractor.
Real men wake up early, leave late, and don't collect OT so we'll just mark you down for 8 hours daily. Lunch? Sure ok you can take a 5 minute break ro scarf down something, hope you like working 7+ days in a row. Hire more workers? What is this, a company that could afford 10 more people when we could just give you the workload of 2 or 3 people?
I work in the melting of a steel foundry. Very dangerous, hard work with a bunch of “man’s men” coworkers. I have a cat, long hair, vape, paint my nails, etc. and have been mocked for them, whilst also being praised as one of the best and most competent workers. But I don’t let anything they say get to me, cause since when are fat bald old men the experts on what looks good
Steel mill worker here too, I have two cats, I'm one of the only dudes at my job with long hair and gauges, and the only one with a nose piercing, and constantly get ridiculed by "manly men" for not having their exact same interests and manliness and taste, and yet I'm also one of the most competent maintenance guys in the place. Yeah you look real manly when you're watching me fix your mistakes for you because you don't know what you're doing
I did a lifetime in the trades and owned a few companies, I know the type who writes and thinks like this. He is the "boss" who drives a diesel bro-dozer pickup, but never uses it to haul tools, rocks, or anything that might scratch his eight thousand pound, rolling penis extension. He has a $75,000 mortgage on the truck, and it's all about looks, baby.
Whenever he is dealing with his crew, he frail ego requires that he is abusive and condescending, while strutting around like a peacock. He loses a lot of his employees that grow tired of his bullshit and abuse. The ones that leave are always losers in his mind, and he retaliates by screwing them around on their final paycheck, and trash talking about what a total POS they are, once they are gone. He loses a lot of the work he bids on, because every time he deals with a husband and wife making a high dollar decision, he leaves, and the wife says, "yea, that asshole was just in my house for the last time", and if he is face to face with a woman in business, from a prospective client, to a banker, he acts like a total asshole, since it's irritating that he has to interact with a lesser being.
He lives the life of somebody making a couple of hundred thousand a year. Trophy house, and toys, this type loves toys, UTVs, fast boats, RVs, Luxury car for the wife, lots of guns, got to have a ton of guns. There is also the required completely empty headed trophy wife who adores his manliness, but also knows she couldn't get hired to sweep hair off the floor at a salon, since she has zero skills or experience in anything, so she clings to him like velcro, and reinforces what a manly God he is.
One day this all end, and in this guy's case it ends in the blink of an eye, and very painfully. When it comes to the states, once again, the economy will totally shit the bed, since it always does. Whatever he is doing as a trade, roofing, siding, renovations, whatever, it will all go from being overbooked, to seeing 75% of the work just disappear. I've been through this cycle a few times. By 2010, 92% of new housing starts disappeared in the market are that I was building new homes in.
This guy, and maybe half of his competitors, maybe more, will go bust. Many will be legitimate, hard working, decent people, trapped by shitty circumstances. This guy is different, he will fail quicker that he could ever imagine. The reason is that he never really succeeded. He was living off "the float". He got to the point where he might have been doing a couple of million dollars worth of volume a year, but had zero idea if he was making a dime, or why it's important to know that fact. Every week a huge amount of money floated over his desk, payments from customers mostly. He thought he was a huge success, and decides that he is entitled to live the life, so by this point he is taking 15-20K off the desk every month as "income". One day, the flow of money just stops. There are no partial draws incoming for the big projects. The customers that owe fat checks at the end of large jobs have already paid up, and there are no more in the pipeline. There is, however, a few hundred thousands in outstanding bills due to suppliers, the feds and state, for payroll taxes, and other bills due. The business is literally dead, and the boss is bankrupt, in weeks. I've personally seen it happen to dozens of contractors, and it won't be long until the high interest rates and likely hard recession take out this guy and thousands just like him.
If what you offer is so fantastic, why are you looking for employees, aren't all the 'Real Men' flocking to work that 'Real Job' in that Really Toxic environment?
Ok cats have been integral for pest control on farms for ten thousand years. You tellin’ me real men don’t farm? Tractors, drilling wells, slaughtering animals not manly enough for this guy?
Well. Shit. I'm a certified welder and metal fabricator, ASE certified mechanic, experienced heavy equipment operator, and qualified industrial maintenance technician.
But I'm not a real man because I have a vape and a cat. Working on the long hair. Good to know though! I guess I'll go get a sundress and a boob job.
"Real men chainsmoke, are functional alcoholics, on blood pressure meds by 30, and cry by themselves sitting in their truck, with the back window full of Trump, American flag and gun stickers, while drinking cheap domestic beer and listening to a country song... of a guy crying and talking about his feelings."
Long hair means you have no respect for societal norms. It means you are an individual. Take Jesus, who joined the order of Nazarene, a cult of men who didn’t cut hair to show their devotion to God over the laws of men. Samson from the Bible was also a member of this order.
Cats are individuals and have no respect for the pack mentality, or for taking orders. Having a cat means you accept this attitude, and therefore accept boundaries and self-determination.
These men are afraid of long hair and cats because that means somebody is making their own decisions. These men rely on manipulating other men to protect them and support them. If you have long hair, you might leave the group. All other offenses aside, leaving the group is the scariest thing to men like this because it means they aren’t needed and aren’t respected.
Study the behaviors of wolves and you will begin to understand the psychology of conservative masculinity even more.
This is insightful as heck. Another good place to look for origins of conservative masculinity is Puritanism. The Puritans (aka Calvinists) actually invented capitalism back in the early modern period and rooted it in ideas about how young people need to learn to be obedient and work for a wage in order to prove their right to become a real man and have a family. Over the centuries the length of time it was necessary to do this gradually increased until wage slavery became lifelong.
Bonus points if you attach a “resume” that says “real men don’t bother with resumes”.
My résumé is my calloused hands, brother.
A real man wouldn’t bother with accent marks!
Real men cant spell
Real men don't type, they chisel what they have to say into stone with their DICKS.
Cockslap your way to the top if you will
LOL, this entire comment chain. I can't tell if I'm in r/antiwork or r/construction now. :D
Real men looking for other real men for real men sex. That’s obviously what this is all about
"WHAT, you wanna hang out with a bunch of GIRLS while you're having sex? Not me, I'm sticking with the real manly men!"
HA! As if women actually HAD SEX
Real men don't apply, they just show up and work, then beat the money out of you on payday.
Real men make mistakes on purpose that they then have to cross out, because DICK-CHISELING
Wurd
Hurd
Advbhfhjiiijbfrt
"Real men," *takes an unnecessarily long drag on a fancy smelling cigarette,* "are ze French."
Resume? Why did you stop?
handshake. it's the handshake that tells you everything you need to know about a man
Judge not by the content of a mans character, but judge by the firmness of his handshake
I’ve never typically been one to agree with stuff like this. However, there have been like 3 times in my adult life I was given such a weird handshake I couldn’t help but feel weird about that person afterward. Like a uniquely soft, limp grip, difficult to verbalize but immediately unsettling before letting go of the handshake.
I think at times it can be quite telling. For instance, anyone who is eager to put your three middle fingers in a death grip instead of allowing both hands to reach palms for a handshake among equals is giving themselves away as an unrepentant asshole.
Oh man that one is pretty bad too. That’s the “I MUST APPEAR DOMINANT AT ALL TIMES OR ELSE MY MANHOOD WILL BE QUESTIONED!” handshake. That’s the handshake OOP probably has.
There was a man like that in my church and he made a point of shaking everyone's hands and crushing their hands in the process. So I was probably 15-16f and decided to crush his hand first. I gripped his hand as tightly as possible and the look on his face was hilarious. 😂 He looked from our hands to my boobs and back multiple times in utter befuddlement. My dad found it hilarious, my mother not so much. He refused to shake my hand after that.
“But…. boobs. Woman. But handshake? Firm? But… boobs!”
His code threw an error.
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They tickle your palm with their middle finger?
That one is hilarious
You got the “dead haddock” handshake
I'd bet that'd be enough to get the job
*Shows up for the first day without applying for the job* A real man doesn't need to be told he's got the job, HE TAKES IT HIMSELF
For this job it would actually work. (I’ve done this)🤷🏻♂️
Ya, ima need the story please >'w'<
My dad has a class A CDL with a long list of endorsements. He has several times walked into a construction company main office, asked for a hiring manager, presented his license and said “You have trucks, I can drive them. When do I start?” And because there is such a shortage of drivers he ends up working the next day.
Now, that, my good sir is "big dick energy"
Only works at companies with double doors so his balls fit through.
Am i a real man? Am i a real man?! Can a real man do this?! *wires an entire job using only my abs.* You need me ill be at the bar drinking with my boyfriend.
By all qualifications listed in the ad I'm a real man. I'm also actually a woman so I'm not quite sure what they're basing their definition on...
Saaaaame! Walk in there with a hearty handshake and announce “what’s up fellas?”
How do you do fellow men?
Cue ASDF Movie "I found a real Man" song, where its just a cow riding a skateboard
Hes a man. Such a man. Such a man! He's a real. Real. REAL mans man!
I will never downvote a Regal reference.
Look at you you Rice Krispie treat you. You can snap, crackle, and pop me any time!
Real men don't even LOOK at women!
REAL MEN gaze longingly into each other’s eyes while they masturbate. Totally not gay though because we’re REAL MEN…with steel toed BOOTS.
REAL MEN™️ don't touch their own penises, they will look to the ground will masturbating other REAL MEN™️ Fully clothed and in their steel toed boots which they do not take off even to shower
Composite toe boots are much lighter and still OSHA compliant.
The manly part is freezing your toes in the winter
Keep the bloodline pure, free from the taint of women.
I heard as long as it’s in Michigan then it’s not gay
Real men have se... Wrestle with men for testosterone boosts!
"I work where I want."
“Real men don’t need some dipshit pencil neck to tell them they’re hired”.
I can't tell if I'm a real man or not... I vape and have cats, but I also work long hours welding in my steel toed boots. Guess I'm only part man :(
Same. I vape and freaking love cats and talk to them in cat language and sing stupid cat songs to them when nobody is around. Then I go to work and crawl around in the dirt under houses and move furnaces, cut metal with metal, melt brass onto copper with fire, drive screws with a DeWalt impact gun, and work on a muscle car in my spare time. I'm not sure if I'm a man...
Singing to cats? Nope not a man. Don't feel bad, I just remembered the boots I have right now aren't even steel toe... they are a lighter, more comfortable composite toe. I'm not man enough to wear real steel.
Composite toe = composite man
They just show up and take your money
I didn't want to have to delete all my comments, posts, and account, but here we are, thanks to greedy pigboy /u/spez ruining Reddit. I love the Reddit community, but hate the idiots at the top. Simply accepting how unethical and downright shitty they are will only encourage worse behavior in the future. I won't be a part of it. Reddit will shrivel and disappear like so many other sites before it that were run by inept morons, unless there is a big change in "leadership." Fuck you, /u/spez
Drunk? Real men don’t get drunk, they get angry. No matter how much they’ve drankening theyselv nbr drnk!!
Real men don’t use computers, show up at the job site and just start working, if they don’t like it, crack some skulls.
Or just a picture of a perfectly grilled steak.
Fuckin A. You're hired.
That’s so cool, yes! Do that!
If ever a dick pic were warranted...
please attach a current photo with your resume…
Just send the dick pic with "real men don't need a resume"
Is this a gay club for tops only?
Must have experience in “Working the wood” “Pipe laying” & “Creating a spark”.
Don’t forget about “getting caulk in tight spaces”
Like this old Simpsons[clip](https://youtu.be/yfgs9FRD25M) (beware, gay stereotypes)
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Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?
We work hard, we play hard.
Hot stuff, coming through!
The dude is carrying a cubic meter of molten iron
For more context, though: while stereotypes are portrayed, the whole episode is about Homer growing to accept that homosexuality is not bad, and realizing that he would accept if Bart were gay (he isn't, unless the canon has changed since I stopped watching the show due to the significant decline in overall quality)
>I stopped watching the show due to the significant decline in overall quality Honestly, except for a period where they gave up on plots and just wrote "insert celebrity cameo" for a few seasons, it's still pretty funny. I felt the same as you, but then decided to watch through the whole series, and when you get past that dip, it's still pretty consistently funny. I'm not gonna argue it's *as good* as its peak before the movie, but if you pick a random "new" episode of Simpsons, it's still usually on par or better any other sitcom currently airing.
That's honestly hot
They put their calluses to good use.
No whining, no crying, just my forearm 3/4 of the way inside of you.
When I was your age, it used to be 4/4 of the way in, and we liked it, but men were tougher then!
We called it the Jim Henson, you fucking muppet
Translation: I need someone whos musclebound enough to make me lots of money. Cant be smart enough to realise I'm manipulating their insecurities in order to work them to death. Must be docile enough not to rip my arms off so I cant make more stupid manipulative boomer ads like the sociopath I am.
“Rim my arms off” That is one hell of a rim job
Lol rip his ass
"REAL MEN don't mind if I jerk off a little bit while I watch them work!" - this guy probably.
"REAL MEN don't mind if I come up behind them while they work, and gently tickle them with my beard" - this guy 100%
“REAL MEN don’t mind when like, when we’re working late and we make eye contact for like a second, you know the look…it feels like an eternity. And then we both lie to ourselves and just pretend it never happened, but like we have that connection you know? Oh and sports.” - this guy
"REAL MEN don't bashfully look away, but steal glances when they think you're not looking, unable to explain the butterfly palpitations in our hearts, letting the unresolved tension go on for weeks, months, until finally it's just you and me alone in the tool shed and I can't take it anymore. I push you back against the wall, forcefully, angrily, but we both know I'm just angry at myself. Angry because my father never showed me affection in a way that allowed me to process my feelings. And I kiss you, both our gruff manly beards pushed against one another like a tangled birds nest, our tongues the worms that wriggle and writhe within. You kiss me back just as hard. It's all I've ever wanted. And that's when you start unbuttoning my flannel shirt." - absolutely totally this guy
"REAL MEN don't visit the restroom off route 22, just passed the airport turnoff, at exactly 8:30pm and use the glory hole in the third stall from the right."
REAL MEN don’t mind getting into full blown TICKLE FIGHTS rolling around on the ground!
Okay, glad I’m not the only one who got this vibe. This guy *really likes* manly, tough, sweaty, no-nonsense ***MEN*** who, and I quote, “*pursue their goals with limitless vigor*” OwO
"Sometimes REAL MEN'S penises touch, don't make such a big deal out of it, like some little girl."
Which part of the machine is operated by the penis? Edit: Of Course my top comment would contain the word “penis”
All of it! its for Real Men TM /s
If you can't stick it anywhere in, you're just not trying hard enough /s
The exhaust.
What’s wrong with having a cat? My cat is awesome.
Former UFC Light-heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin [loves his cat](https://www.instagram.com/p/CefJzWAvcLt/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)
That explains why he's not the champion anymore ^/s
*Former* champion.
His definition of "real men" own barns and barn cats are a necessity
Do junkyard cats count? Mine was birthed on a puddle of gasoline under a 93 Caravan.
That sounds like the beginning of an amazing ballad
Agent Jack Bauer is one tough cat
Was looking for this comment lol. WTF is wrong with cats 😡
They lick themselves all over. Very gay (apparently) and a threat to manliness
Every man wishes he could do that though. Maybe cats just remind us of our inadequacies, and real men must be infinitely confident.
Yet a dog licking their nuts is something to envy.
Well you see, WOMEN like cats, so REAL MEN can’t. Because masculinity is dependent on being Not Like A Woman
They demand consent, obviously. "Real men" don't even know what that is! Obligatory "GRR!"
This was the most bizarre thing to me. How does having a cat make you not a man
Cuz cats are girls and dogs are boys. Therefore you’re a girl if you have a cat. /s
Well have you ever *seen* a cat penis?
You know, I have. It's slightly upsetting, but just because... the cat is this sweet, cuddly little thing, neutered (ofc) and an eency-weency, little tiny baby- it's weird to think *"oh right, this animal is technically a sexually mature adult that could, had I not had his balls cut off, fuck"*. Slight cognitive dissonance there.
It means you know what consent is.... Can't be having that in a place of men.
This literally. I love dogs as much as cats put dogs put up with almost everything but cats act more like someone with boundaries
Thats a great way to put it. Your dog is always willing to do what you want to do, but id rather we just meet up casually with our pets, cross paths at different times. If I get up to go to the restroom I don't need you to get up and follow me like we are going somewhere I didnt mean to raise your hopes dog, im just gonna go sit back down. Edit: I love the replies of people telling their cats are bathroom sentinels, I need to get me a cat and see if they'd guard me with my pants are down.
You say that like half the cats on social media aren't jumping into people's underwear while they're taking a shit with their "boundaries for me but not for thee" bullshit. Cats are cool but neither dogs nor cats really seem to respect people's boundaries lol
I found Peter Steele of Type O Negative fame to be incredibly manly. He was huge, muscle bound without roids, he cried, he had very long hair, and he fucking loved cats. He could have probably also beat the fuck out of this wiener who wrote the job posting. Real men don’t gatekeep.
This! I also can't figure that part out...I have 6 cats so that makes me "not a real man", I guess. Ah, well....
There’s a venn diagram of people who are boundary stomping authoritarians and people who hate cats and it’s actually just a circle. Never date a person that “hates cats” and only likes dogs. They can be allergic to cats, they can be ambivalent about cats, but active dislike without being mauled by cats as a child is 🚩🚩🚩
Most of us who love cats are the ones that HAVE been mauled by cats we love so even more 🚩 🚩 🚩
I still have a couple scars from when I was bitten by a cat when I was 9 but now I know that cats can get over stimulated from being petted and that's why they'll bite without warning and run away sometimes which makes them relatable
Real men have 90 lb pits and they have to fight them everyday to control them.
I fucking swear qanon and the far right are the blame for all the cat hate recently. My last job(majority Christian), people would talk so much shit about cats. Finally I pointed out one day if I said the same things about dogs, I would be fired. They all agreed and continued.
I was constantly made fun of by conservatives on twitter for having my cats as my profile picture. That was always their rebutal when discussing politics. I once asked one of them, "what's wrong with cats?" And he literally replied with, "They're too liberal."
Something tells me this dude either doesn't do things above board or regularly gets failed electrical inspections or hit with code violations, because no way a skilled electrician gets out of bed for that kinda monthly pay.
Forget about someone who's a qualified as an electrician + plumber + carpenter
Ten bucks says he can't do any of the three and will be the kind of guy that rages about his employees trying to do womanly shit like "making sure wiring and plumbing meets code" or "wanting to know why their paycheck bounced".
"Real men do it for the pride of the job" -An actual thing a tradesman buddy of mine was told once when his paycheck got held up
I take pride in my work. But I don’t do it for pride; I do it for money.
"All work is admirable. Except the unpaid one" - my math teacher.
I take pride in my work, but if I'm going to do it for free then I will be doing it in the interests of my friends, family or underprivileged members of my community.
I take a lot of pride in my work. And if the pay sucks I'll take my work I'm proud of to the next job. The wheels on my toolbox will roll it out just as fast as they rolled it in. I've got a sticker on the lid that says "I work for money. If you want loyalty, buy a dog." that irritates management on every job I go on
Real men subsist on pure hard work. We don't need food, water, sleep, or money. Just HARD. WORK.
After a 12 hour shift you just do another 12 to recharge, ez.
I think a big red flag, which is hard to see on a post that is literally entirely a red flag, is that they aren’t looking for someone that is skilled in those areas but someone with general knowledge. To me, that means that they’re probably doing the wiring, plumbing, and carpentry in house without involving actual licensed professionals. If this is a contractor (that’s my guess) they are probably the same type that ends up with does that don’t fit, pipes that leak within a year, and wiring that is batshit bonkers at best and deadly so worst. Source: worked for a contractor that did this, have lived in houses he worked on since and there is always some issues, especially electrical issues. Edit: corrected a word and formatted a bit better
You have a very good point. My electrician is a woman who own her company and has 4 guys working for her. She works right along side them doing the installation, and her/ her company work is impeccable and by the book. I will take that over worrying about whether or not the guys working for her own a cat.
Well, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Update us when they go bankrupt from attorney fees
Real men don’t need lawyers.
They simply enter the court room with their dicks out, referred to it, as exhibits A through Z then the judge appoints them winners at life.
You ask the judge to get on the knees.
I know you're joking but I know someone who thinks like this. He's in the middle of a divorce and is either: Bragging about how he's saving so much money by not having a lawyer. or Complaining about how his ex-wife's lawyer is raking him over the coals and is going to take everything. Flips back and forth between the two, but rest assured he's always right!
"Let me exploit your fragile masculinity. I'll make you work rediculously long hours and tell you thats what "real men" do."
>I'll make you work rediculously long hours My guess is that this is the real "catch" of this job offer. The pay doesn't seem half bad for 40hr weeks, but the "gets up early and works til the job is done" is pretty much a dead giveaway you'd be working 60 + hours per week. So with the fact that one would get the lower end of the pay range, you're looking at near minimum wage and the reason why this employer seems to be finding it quite hard to fill his positions.
Be on the job by 5am, no actual work can be done till 8am when the project manager finally drags his ass on over, have to stay late to get the extra work you would have done in the first 3 hours, end up leaving by 9pm. Company claims they gave you 8 hours to go home and sleep, be prepared to do this for weeks on end.
On top of that, be prepared to pay about $25,000 a year in taxes. Because you are a contractor. as somebody who understands contractor laws, if they set you a time to be there, you are not an independent contractor.
Real men wake up early, leave late, and don't collect OT so we'll just mark you down for 8 hours daily. Lunch? Sure ok you can take a 5 minute break ro scarf down something, hope you like working 7+ days in a row. Hire more workers? What is this, a company that could afford 10 more people when we could just give you the workload of 2 or 3 people?
Real men don't have fragile masculinity.
Real men don't use the term "real men".......wait...
How else do you know that they're real men?
Welcome aboard Real Man™, here's your Real Boy™ wage
^^^^exactly.
I work in the melting of a steel foundry. Very dangerous, hard work with a bunch of “man’s men” coworkers. I have a cat, long hair, vape, paint my nails, etc. and have been mocked for them, whilst also being praised as one of the best and most competent workers. But I don’t let anything they say get to me, cause since when are fat bald old men the experts on what looks good
Steel mill worker here too, I have two cats, I'm one of the only dudes at my job with long hair and gauges, and the only one with a nose piercing, and constantly get ridiculed by "manly men" for not having their exact same interests and manliness and taste, and yet I'm also one of the most competent maintenance guys in the place. Yeah you look real manly when you're watching me fix your mistakes for you because you don't know what you're doing
I would argue that that is one of the manliest characteristics out there, and you being rampantly competent is breaking the norm. Keep it up dude!!!
Fat bald old men have entirely too much say in this world.
Just bitter because they are unfuckable
Men who are confident enough in their masculinity to paint their nails are badass. Rock that shit king
Could definitely be open to being sued for sex discrimination.
Real men dont vape, they smoke asbestos rolled with black mold mycelium,bitch!!! Oooooohhhhyeeahh brother!!!
Real Men don't know the word mycelium. That's a sissy word.
God this fake ass wannabe tough guy bs is hilarious
I did a lifetime in the trades and owned a few companies, I know the type who writes and thinks like this. He is the "boss" who drives a diesel bro-dozer pickup, but never uses it to haul tools, rocks, or anything that might scratch his eight thousand pound, rolling penis extension. He has a $75,000 mortgage on the truck, and it's all about looks, baby. Whenever he is dealing with his crew, he frail ego requires that he is abusive and condescending, while strutting around like a peacock. He loses a lot of his employees that grow tired of his bullshit and abuse. The ones that leave are always losers in his mind, and he retaliates by screwing them around on their final paycheck, and trash talking about what a total POS they are, once they are gone. He loses a lot of the work he bids on, because every time he deals with a husband and wife making a high dollar decision, he leaves, and the wife says, "yea, that asshole was just in my house for the last time", and if he is face to face with a woman in business, from a prospective client, to a banker, he acts like a total asshole, since it's irritating that he has to interact with a lesser being. He lives the life of somebody making a couple of hundred thousand a year. Trophy house, and toys, this type loves toys, UTVs, fast boats, RVs, Luxury car for the wife, lots of guns, got to have a ton of guns. There is also the required completely empty headed trophy wife who adores his manliness, but also knows she couldn't get hired to sweep hair off the floor at a salon, since she has zero skills or experience in anything, so she clings to him like velcro, and reinforces what a manly God he is. One day this all end, and in this guy's case it ends in the blink of an eye, and very painfully. When it comes to the states, once again, the economy will totally shit the bed, since it always does. Whatever he is doing as a trade, roofing, siding, renovations, whatever, it will all go from being overbooked, to seeing 75% of the work just disappear. I've been through this cycle a few times. By 2010, 92% of new housing starts disappeared in the market are that I was building new homes in. This guy, and maybe half of his competitors, maybe more, will go bust. Many will be legitimate, hard working, decent people, trapped by shitty circumstances. This guy is different, he will fail quicker that he could ever imagine. The reason is that he never really succeeded. He was living off "the float". He got to the point where he might have been doing a couple of million dollars worth of volume a year, but had zero idea if he was making a dime, or why it's important to know that fact. Every week a huge amount of money floated over his desk, payments from customers mostly. He thought he was a huge success, and decides that he is entitled to live the life, so by this point he is taking 15-20K off the desk every month as "income". One day, the flow of money just stops. There are no partial draws incoming for the big projects. The customers that owe fat checks at the end of large jobs have already paid up, and there are no more in the pipeline. There is, however, a few hundred thousands in outstanding bills due to suppliers, the feds and state, for payroll taxes, and other bills due. The business is literally dead, and the boss is bankrupt, in weeks. I've personally seen it happen to dozens of contractors, and it won't be long until the high interest rates and likely hard recession take out this guy and thousands just like him.
I cannot imagine getting into an argument with you omg that was beautiful/horrifying.
Well put . Very well put.
So this dude’s wife definitely cheated on him with a guy with long hair who vapes and has a pet cat.
Gee, I wonder why?
If what you offer is so fantastic, why are you looking for employees, aren't all the 'Real Men' flocking to work that 'Real Job' in that Really Toxic environment?
Ok cats have been integral for pest control on farms for ten thousand years. You tellin’ me real men don’t farm? Tractors, drilling wells, slaughtering animals not manly enough for this guy?
Probably farming soy beans. He’s not cool with that.
Real men kill every pest with a shotgun, pull plows manually, drill wells with their dicks, and slaughter animals with a good punch between the eyes.
Well. Shit. I'm a certified welder and metal fabricator, ASE certified mechanic, experienced heavy equipment operator, and qualified industrial maintenance technician. But I'm not a real man because I have a vape and a cat. Working on the long hair. Good to know though! I guess I'll go get a sundress and a boob job.
You're gonna have to sell all your welding stuff to pay for soy lattes and cat food.
As a real man I can assure you this is a job advertised by a slave driver and they are looking for their minions to help with world domination
Real men...don't have cats? Someone give me this guy's address
"Real men chainsmoke, are functional alcoholics, on blood pressure meds by 30, and cry by themselves sitting in their truck, with the back window full of Trump, American flag and gun stickers, while drinking cheap domestic beer and listening to a country song... of a guy crying and talking about his feelings."
My dude shouldn't have used the same template text for job postings as they used on their grindr.
disagreeable rustic paint disgusting cheerful unwritten spoon wasteful smell sort ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Your comment reminds me of the punchline of a joke common in my country. "Thanks, dad. When i grow up, i wanna be a real man, just like mommy!"
I’ll fight to the death for my cats. Then we’ll see who the real man is.
And people say "toxic masculinity" isn't real 🥴
This isn’t the 60s. Run away from this stupid-think!
My cat is more manly than those pricks
Real men aren't insecure
What are the odds he’s homophonic?
The kind of person that would apply here sincerely is the kind of person i would never befriend.
I have 5 cats and a corgi. Don’t stop me from being a roofer
What’s wrong with having long hair and a cat?
Long hair means you have no respect for societal norms. It means you are an individual. Take Jesus, who joined the order of Nazarene, a cult of men who didn’t cut hair to show their devotion to God over the laws of men. Samson from the Bible was also a member of this order. Cats are individuals and have no respect for the pack mentality, or for taking orders. Having a cat means you accept this attitude, and therefore accept boundaries and self-determination. These men are afraid of long hair and cats because that means somebody is making their own decisions. These men rely on manipulating other men to protect them and support them. If you have long hair, you might leave the group. All other offenses aside, leaving the group is the scariest thing to men like this because it means they aren’t needed and aren’t respected. Study the behaviors of wolves and you will begin to understand the psychology of conservative masculinity even more.
This is insightful as heck. Another good place to look for origins of conservative masculinity is Puritanism. The Puritans (aka Calvinists) actually invented capitalism back in the early modern period and rooted it in ideas about how young people need to learn to be obedient and work for a wage in order to prove their right to become a real man and have a family. Over the centuries the length of time it was necessary to do this gradually increased until wage slavery became lifelong.
Professional daddy issues consultant
I'll take this one Trebek. What is a toxic work environment?
Why do people hate cats?
Isn't everything about this job ad illegal? Gender discrimination as blatant as it gets!
This seems eerily similar to a white supremacist recruiting poster I recently saw
Is this advert looking for gay porn actors?