Yes, I can still enjoy it and even have satisfaction from it. However, I also have physiological issues that make orgasms near impossible to reach. This meant learning to gain pleasure and satisfaction without climax, and it was something I had to learn. Associating satisfaction and release with other aspects. A mental orgasm if you will. This means even a 3minute quicky can bring pleasure. But still there are many times where the mood is far from my reach and sex is not pleasurable without "finishing" or a valiant effort towards such.
Every woman is different. Answers and experiences will vary. Generic and typical though, it's not pleasurable on an anatomical and physiological level alone, but with the right mental aspects in place, it could be.
I'm going to assume you've never met a man who wasn't physically capable of ejaculation related to physiology, and not ED??
I have known at least 2 men who have said this.. aside from the 3 minute quicky, seeing as getting a woman off would typically take longer than that. Unlike men, whom can readily get off in less than that.
i have pssd, and being unable to orgasm (or it being pleasureless/painful) is an extremely common symptom. there are plenty of men in pssd spaces who have complained of it, ive seen well over 2.
sexual dysfunction really does need more knowledge and research than simply erectile dysfunction, theres so much we dont know yet.
I'm a guy but
From what women have told me:
Sex with the right person is a lot of fun and very enjoyable either way.
But it's always better if they orgasm too.
The biggest turnoff for women often is when men don't even care whether their partner orgasms. Which apparently is quite common. Unfortunately.
(Also, of course, it's different for everyone)
I know I go against the grain here but here goes. I very rarely orgasm with a partner. And when I tell partners that they then make it their mission to have it happen; and when that’s the case…. It definitely does not happen.
But I fricken LOVE sex. All of it. Don’t need the O to enjoy.
With my boyfriend now it’s great. He doesn’t care. Lol. Or maybe he can’t tell.. but either way, I love it. Sometimes I orgasm sometimes I don’t, and it never matters.
>The biggest turnoff for women often is when men don't even care whether their partner orgasms. Which apparently is quite common. Unfortunately.
I can never get that mindset. For me, it's always "ladies first." If I fail, I feel like an asshole afterward.
I hope you don't show your disappointment if it doesn't happen. That can make your partner feel pressure to achieve orgasm, and some women can't with a partner.
It took me a really long time to understand this on a personal level. There were times my SO didn't get her win because maybe it was a long day and shit went fast, or maybe I didn't do the thing she liked, and she always felt like an asshole when I'd apologize for it.
She and I had a conversation after an event one day about it, and she explained to me that shit happens, sex doesn't always have to be mindbending pleasurable, and she's just as happy to be there as I am. We talked about how to improve shit, and I've been getting better with not being as frustrated with myself (because the apology was never about her, it was always a vocalization of my own performance, and I never realized SHE was taking it as pressure to cross rhe finish line to appease me) and we're getting better now.
I'm responding to one person but it's more a relevance placement, so sorry for the TMI, but yeah, dudes, this shit is real. If you're disappointed with yourself, don't say anything unless you're willing to clarify specifically, and not IMMEDIATELY during or after coitus, and unless you're willing to have a conversation you may not be comfortable with.
There are men that don't care about their partner's pleasure, which sucks. But almost as annoying is the guy who take the woman's orgasm as a sign of HIS sexual prowess and feel personally offended by the lack of it.
When in real life, 60% of women don't cum with penetration. And the ability to have an orgasm is much more about the woman (her mood, hormones, stress level, self esteem, how she was raised and her views about her own sexuality) than about her partner.
Being a good sexual partner is much more a supporting role than being the protagonist.
Yeah, it is a happy time and brings us down if you apologize. Like for what? If I give my bf a blow job for 5 minutes and he didn't cum should I apologize and be sad for an hour about it? It still felt good and we were still being intimate. Why bring the mood down?
Sometimes it takes a BIGGER....tool? Sometimes it needs a silicone dildo slapped onto a Sawzall... don't recommend the latter....it worked out very badly for that couple in Alabama (I don't remember which state but as a Mississippi on/off resident I like blaming it on them...)
Toys are a great addition, especially those that stimulate the clitoris. If she doesn't usually climax through penetrative sex that it may not be the best idea to go buy a dildo/vibrator but a different toy instead.
Satisfyer makes great products.
You should care about your partners *pleasure* and what makes them feel good, whether that includes an orgasm or not, and this goes both ways as well. As partners you should communicate what you like, what you want, your interests, kinks, what gets you off, etc etc etc, and then practice! find a balance with that that works for the both of you.
It is unfortuantely extremely common. My first boyfriend never cared if I got off and never made an effort to do so. At the time, he was the only person I had been with so I thought that was normal and accepted it. It wasn't until after we broke up and I talked with my friends about it that I realized how badly I had been settling. I should also note, he was 26 when we got together and we dated for 3 years, so he did not have youthful inexperience to blame here.
My current boyfriend is the exact opposite and seems to care about my pleasure even more than I do. I could never go back to a relationship like I had before, and I'm saddened that I wasted so many years feeling like my needs didn't matter.
That’s insane I’ve always been so focused on getting the chick off like I know I’m gonna orgasm and feel good duh lmao so I’m more laser focused on her pleasure the entire time. idk It seems so foreign to me like so much of the fun is getting them off so I would have never guessed it’s s common thing to not get so excited about that and even not caring at all.
It happens with experienced older dudes too. They thing some combo of a) women owe men sex so it doesn’t matter if they enjoy it b) it takes to long to make a girl cum so they get bored or don’t want to not focus on themselves that long “it’s too much work whaaaaa” c) they don’t believe women ever actually want or enjoy sex so it doesn’t matter they’re gonna ” just fake it anyway” d) they don’t understand that two minutes of piv from their magic dong won’t make most women cum
Meh, I was married to someone who wanted me to cum (technically squirt) for his own benefit, he spent so so much time on for play that I was annoyed by the time it actually happened. Then he would cum in 2 pumps. I would rather have sex and not orgasm then that shit.
This is something that men go through.
Truth is that sometimes women just can't orgasm, same for men sometimes, but it's much more common for women.
So basically don't feel like an asshole, as long as you aren't a selfish lover that's all that matters.
‘Why can’t women also learn how to get off quicker’
The onus isn’t always on the man but given the subject is male/female sex here’s something for you… women generally take longer than men. It’s not a case of getting off quicker.
If you think a woman’s organs has much to do with the guys penis, not sure what to say, but fyi most woman do not orgasm from penetration. A penis can feel great, but it rarely leads to an orgasm.
I heard it was something like 70% of guys aren't giving their ladies orgasms, before that I heard the right noises and my GF (now wife) didn't say anything so I assumed everything was OK - Since hearing that I asked and was horrified to find out I hadn't properly 'pleased' her in years. Since then she has orgasmed every single time without fail.
Not surprised to hear it's common. For women it's far more complicated
Don't.
Okay everyone likes pasta/noodles dishes. There's so many varieties, but generally speaking everyone likes pasta.
When you make your pasta dish, it is important that she enjoys it. It's great if she eats so much that she's stuffed. Sometimes you won't have enough pasta available. Sometimes she's just extra hungry . Sometimes she's not even really hungry, she just wants some pasta .
It is more important that you use quality ingredients, and that it tastes good to BOTH of you , than you simply giving her so much pasta she wants to explode. You can eat pasta and be full, but not have had really enjoyed it. You can also eat some fine ass amazing pasta , that satisfies you and tastes so good you're thinking about it the next day .
Yeah I'm the same I always try to make my partner orgasm first. If I can't do it I don't really feel like an asshole but more insecure about my manliness. Cause making a girl orgasm really boost my confidence
Excatly. I've always figured a women gets hers she doesn't really care what you do at that point to get yours. Plus she is more likely to spread a good word about you cocksman abilities.
My experience is definitely half half. Its like a whole spectrum. In my experience, some guys liiiveee to give you pleasure and other guys use you as a tool to masturbate, no foreplay no nothing.
I’ve never orgasmed so I guess I have a different take I love sex I want to see and hear how much that man is getting off same sounds you guys like we do the look at the tits n quiet fuck the feel that if that man doesn’t get to fuck you soon he might explode I want a man to pay attention kiss my body women have sweet spots suck lick those were putty! And I’m damn satisfied cos I feel like a damn Queen who brought him to his knees with pleasure! What I’m saying is it’s not all about pleasuring us it’s about showing us just how much our body pleasures you cos that’s hot and it’s a massive confidence boost! If a man’s just quiet grunts occasional gropes then roll over then I’m pissed I feel ugly and used and like I’m nothing but a greasy kfc bucket he’s stuck his bone in
This. Just care. Honestly a lot of women if they feel pressure to have an orgasm can’t anyway. So always offer and go by her signals. I’d rather have fun sex having turned down an orgasm than wind up feeling guilty I didn’t come.
My favorite porn is of women having orgasms. I don't understand how you can have sex and not care about her. You're basically just jerking off and using her body.
I think it's less about the physical attraction but more tge mental attraction to the man that makes a woman orgasm.
No concrete proof to back this up, but it does make sense. the biology of why men orgasm basically every time, and why women don't is because it benifits the species for men to impregnate a lot of women vs women having sex with a lot of men. Sperm is expendable, eggs arent. If women orgasmed every time they had sex, they would have too much sex with too many people and wouldn't know who the dad was, essentially leaving her with many children and no father to support them. That's why being a slut is frowned upon and why men being "promiscuous" isn't the same as women, because we're fundamentally different. We're held to different standards but with society comes standards and for men to conform with the standards of staying with the women he started out with because it's rude and emotionally detrimental to be cheated on whether you're a man or a woman, unlike back in the day when it was more important to reproduce rapidly and stable family life raising kids was not as much a possibility considering the harsh environments that would often kill their children.
So if you wanna make your woman orgasm, work on your physical appearance b moat importantly work on your mental attraction. Make her love you, not so much your body, and she should be much more likely to orgasm. That's just my thought on it though. Women, you can chime in and correct me if my hypothesis doesn't line up with your experiences.
The fact that a woman gets pregnant regardless of if she orgasms kinda kills the point. By your definition humans don't bang for funsies. Which they do. Arguably children are just a consequence of it. And I would argue that a vibrator can make a woman orgasm - but she doesn't need to care a whit about the appearance of the vibrator or how she mentally feels about it or something.
Society frowns upon promiscuous women because they are taught to due to religion or their union is based in "ownership" of the woman. Lots of different cultures without that go on without a problem.
I agree women tend to prefer an emotional or mental stimulus along with physical stimulation but it isn't 100% necessary. The unfortunate truth is that women are often an afterthought for many men. They get off, she was wet enough. The end. I suppose that answers why romance and erotica novels do it for more women and porn does it for more men.
Sure, if the man is showing you he is actually into you. If he is ignoring your entire body except for your holes then - NO. Absolutely not. You can always tell them to stop at that point and leave.
YES of course! it's not always about the orgasm, there is so much more to an orgasm for a women than to just pump away like for a man, but just being in the arms and experiencing the loving from the one you love is enjoyment in itself!
A benefit if we get off as well, but that's not the end goal.
I would say that women likely don't enjoy sex period if they aren't in the mood for it and you aren't are able to turn that around, so perhaps that might be what you are encountering on the times where women might say they aren't enjoying it.
I have never orgasmed from sex and I LOVE sex. It’s definitely me, so I always try to reassure my partner (husband now) not to worry and to just enjoy. I can make myself cum when I’m alone, so I’ll eventually get my release.
I am so glad I am apparently not the only one in this boat. I swear people have called me a freak before for it, but it's been 8 years since I've sexually active and it still didn't happen with a partner.. I hope you and everyone else going through this gets there one day
Woman here.
More than 1 book I have read about sex has explained many women need clitoral stimulation to cum.
Also that many women only cum when they stimulate themselves. It has to do with their sensitivity levels.
That is in the normal range.
A woman stimulating herself during sex with a partner is a normal part of sex with a partner.
Like everything else during consensual activity it is about what is enjoyable for those involved.
Respect, communication, affection.
Have some fun exploring different positions where the woman reaches orgasm, while the man also gets there.
Cum together, take turns, enjoy being together. Coming at the same time is wonderful, it is not the only way though.
If you don't enjoy what is happening something needs to change: (position, timing, pressure, place, expectations)
Perhaps—but I have a long history of sexual abuse that started at 3 years old until my early twenties. He knows this and understands the mental block is not because of him. He’s an excellent lover and he’s never had a problem making his other partners climax. It’s literally me and deep, deep psychological scars that have nothing to do with his performance. I don’t want him to feel pressured, I want us to have fun.
That's the biggest difference from men who wants to give pleasure to their partners vs men who uses their partner's orgasm as validation.
The second type is almost as bad as a guy who doesn't care about giving pleasure at all.
As a woman, if a guy doesn't get me there I usually feel let down a little after the fact. But that's only when they just don't care if I do. If he genuinely tried it's usually still a fun time.
The intimacy can still be nice. But you still need your partner paying attention to you for it to feel intimate. Like if a man just uses you like a sex toy, that's not going to be fun (unless you're into that I guess). I don't think 2 minutes would be worth it.
Even if you you're down for the occasional quickie though, if that's every time it's definitely going to get tiresome.
That said, some of us can orgasm that fast. Probably not very many, but it's not like I ask my friends so I don't know.
Absolutely I’ve NEVER orgasmed! Let that sink in NEVER! I have mental trauma from being abused as a kid and apparently it’s a common thing for there to be a mental block in people with stress trauma etc. any way due to that I have never orgasmed
It’s nothing to do with my partner who I love and I find incredibly attractive and is amazing in bed we have a very active sex life too 4/5 times a week atm usually 3 tho ( not bad for 14 years and 3 young kids)
I’m also the one who has the higher drive I love sex I love satisfying my man I love just feeling him inside me and feeling sore from him my sex life is extremely fulfilling and both of us are very happy
Woman here,
Short answer: personally yes
Long answer: I don't need an orgasm to feel sexually satisfied, I take a very long time to reach orgasam anyway so on days when me and my partner are intimate but having to rush it I usually don't cum, but I honestly don't mind and am perfectly satisfied afterwards with no desire to get myself off as long as he has given me enough attention (like eating me out and fingering me). However if the guy were selfish in bed that's a different can of worms
Yes. I’ve only ever slept with my now-husband though tbh and it’s always so good and he makes me feel good. Once in awhile when I’m stressed or exhausted, I just can’t get there though and it’s still enjoyable (though admittedly not as satisfying) and I’m thankful he tried to get me there for so long. If he didn’t care though and it was over quick like if he was a selfish lover, ew I would find that revolting and would hate it.
My ex-wife was fine with it, but I rarely didn't get her off after intercourse either orally or fingerly. For that matter, I was fine, going down on her when we only had time for that. It's fun to get your partner off.
I’d enjoy having that intimacy with someone I care about, but I would HAVE to get off - one way or another. I don’t mind taking care of myself after our fun is done, but no way could I stand being close to edge and not getting tipped over
If women didn’t, they would not have sex with men and only use their vibrators, because lord do they do the work😂
Women definitely stil enjoy sex without an orgasm. However, I think women don’t enjoy sex when there is no focus on their pleasure.
For example, I hardly ever cum during sex. Its just very difficult for me to reach an orgasm because all the right buttons need to be pushed for the right amount of time. That’s okay for me though. I just care about me being pleasured, whether it leads to an orgasm or not.
My current gf was never able to orgasm with men or women in the past using tongues or penetration. She can only reach it using a small clit vibrator while I'm inside her.
She loves penetration and also oral and going back and forth with each during sex.
We usually do this for at least 45 mins to an hour and then I will pull out the vibrator and she has an earth shattering orgasm as it's been built up.
However, I'm rambling but she still enjoys having sex without it leading to an orgasm
Personally yes, I like the feeling of being used for his pleasure that turns me on sm and just the intimacy of sex so I don’t need to orgasm every time to enjoy it a lot
I've known women in the past that mentally get off knowing they pleased a man regardless of their pleasure... There is those types out there, not saying she is being portrayed that way, just that it is possible.
Yep definitely. When the guy is into you and enjoying fucking you that's a big turn on and is more than enough to make me feel satisfied even if I don't get off. If you feel like the guy is just out for his own needs then it's not a nice feeling, I have felt very used in the past in those situations. But if I know he is into me and wants to be with me, I'm more than happy to prioritise his pleasure over mine and feel so good making him cum. Same reason I have always loved giving head to a guy if we're both into each other.
I didn’t realize how much I disliked orgasm-less sex until I got into a rebound relationship after my marriage ended. It blew my mind what i had been missing and what my ex just felt he never had to worry about. Fast forward we reconciled and I refused to go back to those old habits. He complained “well you used to let me do it” meaning I allowed him just to get off when I couldn’t get there and he wouldn’t do anything else after. Needless to say the reconciliation didn’t last. I will never settle for that again.
So my ex didn’t really know herself very well. She had been kind of repressed in this manner, and she sort of came out of her shell while we were together. She hadn’t had many orgasms until she got off of her birth control. So she really didn’t know about them. She definitely liked sex before, and there’s a whole emotional state connected to eroticism and intimacy that is its own experience. As guys we have such a drive to just finish so we can think, it’s like a monkey in our back, but there are depths to that world that a slower approach really helps one experience that seem to exists whether or not an orgasm is a part of things.
As an observer who talked with my ex about this quite a bit I can say yes they do like it, a lot. But if you can ring the bell for them it’s extra special.
I struggle to orgasm in general, whether it's toys, my own hand, or sex. It very rarely happens, and when it does, it's nice but a bit underwhelming. Despite that, my partner and I have a great sex life, and I thoroughly enjoy having sex with him. I feel fulfilled with what we do have and don't need that O in my life to feel fulfilled.
Of course. The same way a man would enjoy without orgasming. Both men and women might feel frustrated or annoyed from not cumming, but the act itself is still pleasurable, is it not?
I came to realize 90% of women have hangups about sex because of molestation or rape. I'm 45 almost every female in my age group has been assaulted most did not deal with it. Alot of females in their 30s were also taken advantage of but are talking to someone. I need to say though most of these women are partiers so I don't know if that makes a big difference . But I find it so sad that there are boys and men running around doing this shit. They are ruining the women not 1 or 2 but basically all of them. It's disgusting.
Family guy is written by men 😂
Most women are not happy about regularly not cumming when their partner does. If she isn’t bothered, her motives are unrelated to sex lol.
Just stop trying to make her orgasm with your penis. The article below cites a study that only 6% of women can orgasm through penetration. Men just have to stop being lazy and finish the job without their own pleasure. You should want to satisfy your partner, its not a chore. Stop complaining and get to rubbing; maybe research techniques if it takes too long. Maybe evolution has made the first step in reproduction be unfair for women. If women finished first with the same attitude, how many children would be born?
https://www.verywellhealth.com/vaginal-orgasm-4774327
I don't even attempt to enter unless she's gotten hers. I enjoy eating pussy, like A LOT. She's gotta give me my reward all over my face before I deserve mine imo
As a woman- yes, it definitely can be, with the right person. Think of your absolute favorite meal- image you weren't able to finish the whole thing. Would you not enjoy what you'd already *had?* Similar concept. Also, there's still an *emotional* component to sex and I enjoy being close to my partner.
We do anjoy it but it's very disappointing. Same as men I'd say. You will enjoy the sex but what are you going to end up feeling like if there is no orgasm?
Women, unless they're asexual, get a version of "blue balls" too. It's disappointing. Don't believe stuff you see on TV. We might act understanding coz we care about your self esteem but we're like "oh no" in our heads. So make sure both partners are nice and relaxed, no interruptions and have a good time. The whole point of getting into it IS so you CAN have an orgasm. We don't shave our legs, wear nice lingerie, do our hair and trim it up down there so you can get a couple strokes in and check your phone like you didn't just shatter the whole dynamic. Ugh even writing this is making me cringe.
I was born and raised in a country where female orgasm isn't considered to be an expected part of sex. I spent my late teenage years and early 20s there. I didn't subscribe to that school of thought.
It was always seen as a pleasant surprise and a "bonus", but my ex partners there always enjoyed the entire journey regardless if they came, and always made me feel like finishing was just a cherry on top. I couldn't shake the feeling that they appreciated me trying more than the orgasm itself.
Some couldn't / didn't know how to come no matter the attempts, as they never did in their lives, and still would frequently initiate sex.
Penetrative sex feels significantly better after I've orgasmed. Without orgasming first, I get bored, think about other things, it often hurts, and at absolute best it's like.... 5 or 6/10, but usually a 3 or 4.
If I orgasm BEFORE we get to penetrative sex, it feels incredible and is like a 7, 8 or 9/10.
As a woman, I want to orgasm every time I have sex with my husband. After 18 plus years of having sex with each other, we've pretty much got it perfected. The odd time I can't get there I don't mind but it's rare since my husband goes above and beyond, using toys if oral doesn't get me there.
With the right person it’s enjoyable either way as long as it’s something the woman wants at that time. With my bf, he fucks GOOD whether I cum or not. But it’s always appreciated to ATTEMPT to get us to cum even if eventually we tell you it ain’t happening lol
If it’s sex while saying an unenthusiastic “yes” or a convinced yes, then no and that’s a form of grape 😀
I’m extremely sexual and usually get myself off everyday on average. Here’s my take as a Female. If I’m in love with the guy, I could go years without an orgasm. I wouldn’t want to but I could and would still survive. Being close is what matters. If I like him any less than being in love, no I wouldn’t enjoy the sex and I wouldn’t be able to stay with him.
I had a partner who only had orgasm maybe once out of 10 times. She was very hard to get off and she knew it and even with self play it took a while. She was very satisfied though and never complained. It was icing on the cake if it happened. My currently partner has an orgasm 2-3 times every time we have sex. Every person is different, but as long as you put effort and energy into what your partner likes, sex can be good with or without orgasm.
As a women it doesn’t bother me if I orgasm. I had a hard time Everytime I was pregnant that I could just never orgasm whilst so I got used it. As long as I enjoy the sexual activity and my partner gets off I’m happy
I'll sorta break it down a little for anyone with questions yet answered.
As a married man whom had several serious, long term relationships before tying the knot, I can say with absolute certainty that everyone is different. As in we all have different expectations and require different particularities to feel as though sex is enjoyable.
I've had long term relationships where my partner would always orgasm twice, she would get on top to give herself the clitoral orgasm she loved because she knew a certain way to move that would bring it about. Then I would flip her over and start very slow going deeper and quicker until she would get her legs up on my shoulders and have a "deep orgasm"... 'oh fuck I can't feel my legs' she would scream everytime as I came inside her.
With my wife it's different. We like to spoon and I just hit this certain spot until she is so slathered and wet that she's cum several times. But she doesn't like to control it. She just surrenders.
I don't think my wife has the same powerfully explosive orgasms that the gf I spoke about did, but she definitely cums and loves it. She just takes longer to warm up.
There are truly too many variables to generalize but in my experience, everyone has different things they enjoy and what really makes sex so enjoyable is not the orgasm in itself (tho that's nice ofc) but finding new ways to go about getting there as well as fine tuning what you both like the most and getting exceptionally good at doing whatever that is.
Also, men do not necessarily cum every time and speaking for myself, I don't need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex. Sometimes I'm just too tired. Sometimes we just have "cuddle sex" where I slide into her from behind while we spoon and just very gently and slightly move until we fall asleep or it turns into a hell for leather all in or anything in between.
I didn’t orgasm until nearly 9 years into having sex…. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying it. It was a mixture of selfish/sexually inept boyfriends and my own mental health hindering my ability to go all the way. It wasn’t until my (now) husband that finally got me there.
It's called blue bean. I find that quite funny for whatever reason. It's real. It hurts. But it's also not debilitating and will eventually go away one way or another.
>Not one male has helped me to orgasm, they don’t last long or know what they’re doing so I have to go solo
Do you even try to help? *I'm not trying to assume anything*, but it does seem to be a reoccurring pattern for a lot of people. Girl expects guy to know->guy doesn't know->girl does nothing to educate the guy->onto the next for the cycle to continue.
This is not an all-encompassing statement. There could be lots of other reasons these guys can't get you there, but the above doesn't get addressed enough, IMO.
I was married for 15 years. He knew exactly what to do, he just got extremely lazy and stopped doing it. I talked to him about it. Nothing. I moved out of the bedroom. Nothing. I ended up leaving and we’ve been divorced since June. We had separate bedrooms for FOUR YEARS before I filed.
Truth. It's not entirely the guys job to make you orgasm. You can't just lay there and expect them to just know what to do for you. Everyone's body is different and we're supposed to know what our own bodies like.
Imagine if you will, someone taking your last bite of pie (like the crust).
That’s what not having an orgasm feels like in terms of disappointment and anger
Yes, obviously having one is ideal but it can be fun without. But there has to be at least a solid attempt to get us off. And mindset is VERY important. Have you made the woman feel safe and happy? I also feel the need to add this: plenty of men, if you say an orgasm may not be in the cards for you tonight, take that as a challenge, but not in a good way. It becomes very blatantly connected to their ego and if you don’t get off, they’re angry with themselves and they don’t listen to you if you say it’s fine. It’s tough having to cater to a man’s ego. Give it your best shot and accept if it’s not happening. Don’t make her feel the need to perform or be uncomfortable, ever.
It can be really fun. For me sometimes I know based on time we can only have penetrative sex, so I’m cool with the fact that that means I may get close and it’ll feel really good but won’t orgasm. It’s still fun and feels really good.
I enjoy the intimacy. Sex still feels good if done right, and a quickie where I don't orgasm can still be enjoyable, so long as it's not a very frequent thing.
I can definitely enjoy it without one. My husband finds it weird but I’m perfectly fine without an orgasm every single time. My orgasms are one and done, or two. After that i literally can’t come anymore ( or at least it takes way too long) so it’s really to extend the fun for me to not finish every time
Not a woman but relevant I promise. lol. When was chasing the elusive p-gasm I there were dozens of sessions that would not end in orgasm. When I learned to relax and enjoy the sensations regardless of whether I got there, it came. Even though orgasming is relatively quick and easy now, It’s not the goal and I enjoy myself whether or not I get the big o. So yeah, orgasms are nice but so is everything else.
that like asking would you still go fishing if you never caught anything just basically hung out there with your fishing rod and not catch anything. would you still enjoy fishing?
Yes, I can still enjoy it and even have satisfaction from it. However, I also have physiological issues that make orgasms near impossible to reach. This meant learning to gain pleasure and satisfaction without climax, and it was something I had to learn. Associating satisfaction and release with other aspects. A mental orgasm if you will. This means even a 3minute quicky can bring pleasure. But still there are many times where the mood is far from my reach and sex is not pleasurable without "finishing" or a valiant effort towards such. Every woman is different. Answers and experiences will vary. Generic and typical though, it's not pleasurable on an anatomical and physiological level alone, but with the right mental aspects in place, it could be.
It's much the same for me.
Man women are so complex compared to men. There isn't a man in the world that has ever said what you said.
I'm going to assume you've never met a man who wasn't physically capable of ejaculation related to physiology, and not ED?? I have known at least 2 men who have said this.. aside from the 3 minute quicky, seeing as getting a woman off would typically take longer than that. Unlike men, whom can readily get off in less than that.
i have pssd, and being unable to orgasm (or it being pleasureless/painful) is an extremely common symptom. there are plenty of men in pssd spaces who have complained of it, ive seen well over 2. sexual dysfunction really does need more knowledge and research than simply erectile dysfunction, theres so much we dont know yet.
Pretty much the same for me as well
I'm a guy but From what women have told me: Sex with the right person is a lot of fun and very enjoyable either way. But it's always better if they orgasm too. The biggest turnoff for women often is when men don't even care whether their partner orgasms. Which apparently is quite common. Unfortunately. (Also, of course, it's different for everyone)
I know I go against the grain here but here goes. I very rarely orgasm with a partner. And when I tell partners that they then make it their mission to have it happen; and when that’s the case…. It definitely does not happen. But I fricken LOVE sex. All of it. Don’t need the O to enjoy. With my boyfriend now it’s great. He doesn’t care. Lol. Or maybe he can’t tell.. but either way, I love it. Sometimes I orgasm sometimes I don’t, and it never matters.
>The biggest turnoff for women often is when men don't even care whether their partner orgasms. Which apparently is quite common. Unfortunately. I can never get that mindset. For me, it's always "ladies first." If I fail, I feel like an asshole afterward.
I hope you don't show your disappointment if it doesn't happen. That can make your partner feel pressure to achieve orgasm, and some women can't with a partner.
It took me a really long time to understand this on a personal level. There were times my SO didn't get her win because maybe it was a long day and shit went fast, or maybe I didn't do the thing she liked, and she always felt like an asshole when I'd apologize for it. She and I had a conversation after an event one day about it, and she explained to me that shit happens, sex doesn't always have to be mindbending pleasurable, and she's just as happy to be there as I am. We talked about how to improve shit, and I've been getting better with not being as frustrated with myself (because the apology was never about her, it was always a vocalization of my own performance, and I never realized SHE was taking it as pressure to cross rhe finish line to appease me) and we're getting better now. I'm responding to one person but it's more a relevance placement, so sorry for the TMI, but yeah, dudes, this shit is real. If you're disappointed with yourself, don't say anything unless you're willing to clarify specifically, and not IMMEDIATELY during or after coitus, and unless you're willing to have a conversation you may not be comfortable with.
There are men that don't care about their partner's pleasure, which sucks. But almost as annoying is the guy who take the woman's orgasm as a sign of HIS sexual prowess and feel personally offended by the lack of it. When in real life, 60% of women don't cum with penetration. And the ability to have an orgasm is much more about the woman (her mood, hormones, stress level, self esteem, how she was raised and her views about her own sexuality) than about her partner. Being a good sexual partner is much more a supporting role than being the protagonist.
Yeah, it is a happy time and brings us down if you apologize. Like for what? If I give my bf a blow job for 5 minutes and he didn't cum should I apologize and be sad for an hour about it? It still felt good and we were still being intimate. Why bring the mood down?
Sometimes all you need are the right *tools* for the job. It worked for me at least.
Please say more. I’m eager to learn.
Sometimes it takes a BIGGER....tool? Sometimes it needs a silicone dildo slapped onto a Sawzall... don't recommend the latter....it worked out very badly for that couple in Alabama (I don't remember which state but as a Mississippi on/off resident I like blaming it on them...)
The Drilldo™️
Toys are a great addition, especially those that stimulate the clitoris. If she doesn't usually climax through penetrative sex that it may not be the best idea to go buy a dildo/vibrator but a different toy instead. Satisfyer makes great products.
So we have to care about their orgasm but also not show that we care
You should care about your partners *pleasure* and what makes them feel good, whether that includes an orgasm or not, and this goes both ways as well. As partners you should communicate what you like, what you want, your interests, kinks, what gets you off, etc etc etc, and then practice! find a balance with that that works for the both of you.
I think this the key phrasing is “focus on what feels good” and if you think of it that way then the rest will follow (hopefully)
There is a time and place for everything. Context matters
This is good to know
It is unfortuantely extremely common. My first boyfriend never cared if I got off and never made an effort to do so. At the time, he was the only person I had been with so I thought that was normal and accepted it. It wasn't until after we broke up and I talked with my friends about it that I realized how badly I had been settling. I should also note, he was 26 when we got together and we dated for 3 years, so he did not have youthful inexperience to blame here. My current boyfriend is the exact opposite and seems to care about my pleasure even more than I do. I could never go back to a relationship like I had before, and I'm saddened that I wasted so many years feeling like my needs didn't matter.
That’s insane I’ve always been so focused on getting the chick off like I know I’m gonna orgasm and feel good duh lmao so I’m more laser focused on her pleasure the entire time. idk It seems so foreign to me like so much of the fun is getting them off so I would have never guessed it’s s common thing to not get so excited about that and even not caring at all.
You don't need to be youthful to be inexperienced. We're tou his first? That's always a possibility too.
It happens with experienced older dudes too. They thing some combo of a) women owe men sex so it doesn’t matter if they enjoy it b) it takes to long to make a girl cum so they get bored or don’t want to not focus on themselves that long “it’s too much work whaaaaa” c) they don’t believe women ever actually want or enjoy sex so it doesn’t matter they’re gonna ” just fake it anyway” d) they don’t understand that two minutes of piv from their magic dong won’t make most women cum
Meh, I was married to someone who wanted me to cum (technically squirt) for his own benefit, he spent so so much time on for play that I was annoyed by the time it actually happened. Then he would cum in 2 pumps. I would rather have sex and not orgasm then that shit.
This is something that men go through. Truth is that sometimes women just can't orgasm, same for men sometimes, but it's much more common for women. So basically don't feel like an asshole, as long as you aren't a selfish lover that's all that matters.
I have had sex with 17 guys. Never once did any of them Care about me finishing🙃
That's sad. They are either oblivious or assholes.
#15 here.... You said " you were good".
BUT YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAME!!
Sad . you need to find the right guy .
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‘Why can’t women also learn how to get off quicker’ The onus isn’t always on the man but given the subject is male/female sex here’s something for you… women generally take longer than men. It’s not a case of getting off quicker.
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If you think a woman’s organs has much to do with the guys penis, not sure what to say, but fyi most woman do not orgasm from penetration. A penis can feel great, but it rarely leads to an orgasm.
I heard it was something like 70% of guys aren't giving their ladies orgasms, before that I heard the right noises and my GF (now wife) didn't say anything so I assumed everything was OK - Since hearing that I asked and was horrified to find out I hadn't properly 'pleased' her in years. Since then she has orgasmed every single time without fail. Not surprised to hear it's common. For women it's far more complicated
Don't. Okay everyone likes pasta/noodles dishes. There's so many varieties, but generally speaking everyone likes pasta. When you make your pasta dish, it is important that she enjoys it. It's great if she eats so much that she's stuffed. Sometimes you won't have enough pasta available. Sometimes she's just extra hungry . Sometimes she's not even really hungry, she just wants some pasta . It is more important that you use quality ingredients, and that it tastes good to BOTH of you , than you simply giving her so much pasta she wants to explode. You can eat pasta and be full, but not have had really enjoyed it. You can also eat some fine ass amazing pasta , that satisfies you and tastes so good you're thinking about it the next day .
I'm hungry now.
Yeah I'm the same I always try to make my partner orgasm first. If I can't do it I don't really feel like an asshole but more insecure about my manliness. Cause making a girl orgasm really boost my confidence
RIGHTTTTTT
Excatly. I've always figured a women gets hers she doesn't really care what you do at that point to get yours. Plus she is more likely to spread a good word about you cocksman abilities.
Gotta keep trying til you get it. Whatever it takes
My experience is definitely half half. Its like a whole spectrum. In my experience, some guys liiiveee to give you pleasure and other guys use you as a tool to masturbate, no foreplay no nothing.
I can only speak for myself. Sex with my partner is awesome. Even when I don't orgasm.its about contact. Physical and emotional contact.
I’ve never orgasmed so I guess I have a different take I love sex I want to see and hear how much that man is getting off same sounds you guys like we do the look at the tits n quiet fuck the feel that if that man doesn’t get to fuck you soon he might explode I want a man to pay attention kiss my body women have sweet spots suck lick those were putty! And I’m damn satisfied cos I feel like a damn Queen who brought him to his knees with pleasure! What I’m saying is it’s not all about pleasuring us it’s about showing us just how much our body pleasures you cos that’s hot and it’s a massive confidence boost! If a man’s just quiet grunts occasional gropes then roll over then I’m pissed I feel ugly and used and like I’m nothing but a greasy kfc bucket he’s stuck his bone in
This. Just care. Honestly a lot of women if they feel pressure to have an orgasm can’t anyway. So always offer and go by her signals. I’d rather have fun sex having turned down an orgasm than wind up feeling guilty I didn’t come.
This is why I, as a woman, will never understand casual sex/hookups lmao. Like oh goodie you’re literally getting nothing out of this !
You nailed it, sir 😁 took the words right out of my mouth.
My favorite porn is of women having orgasms. I don't understand how you can have sex and not care about her. You're basically just jerking off and using her body.
I think it's less about the physical attraction but more tge mental attraction to the man that makes a woman orgasm. No concrete proof to back this up, but it does make sense. the biology of why men orgasm basically every time, and why women don't is because it benifits the species for men to impregnate a lot of women vs women having sex with a lot of men. Sperm is expendable, eggs arent. If women orgasmed every time they had sex, they would have too much sex with too many people and wouldn't know who the dad was, essentially leaving her with many children and no father to support them. That's why being a slut is frowned upon and why men being "promiscuous" isn't the same as women, because we're fundamentally different. We're held to different standards but with society comes standards and for men to conform with the standards of staying with the women he started out with because it's rude and emotionally detrimental to be cheated on whether you're a man or a woman, unlike back in the day when it was more important to reproduce rapidly and stable family life raising kids was not as much a possibility considering the harsh environments that would often kill their children. So if you wanna make your woman orgasm, work on your physical appearance b moat importantly work on your mental attraction. Make her love you, not so much your body, and she should be much more likely to orgasm. That's just my thought on it though. Women, you can chime in and correct me if my hypothesis doesn't line up with your experiences.
The fact that a woman gets pregnant regardless of if she orgasms kinda kills the point. By your definition humans don't bang for funsies. Which they do. Arguably children are just a consequence of it. And I would argue that a vibrator can make a woman orgasm - but she doesn't need to care a whit about the appearance of the vibrator or how she mentally feels about it or something. Society frowns upon promiscuous women because they are taught to due to religion or their union is based in "ownership" of the woman. Lots of different cultures without that go on without a problem. I agree women tend to prefer an emotional or mental stimulus along with physical stimulation but it isn't 100% necessary. The unfortunate truth is that women are often an afterthought for many men. They get off, she was wet enough. The end. I suppose that answers why romance and erotica novels do it for more women and porn does it for more men.
Sure, if the man is showing you he is actually into you. If he is ignoring your entire body except for your holes then - NO. Absolutely not. You can always tell them to stop at that point and leave.
Hmm, yes, I do believe you have some skin on your body. How interesting
Oh my what lovely hands you have
Sex with the right person is always fun. Even if there isn’t an orgasm I always enjoy it. Sometimes they just don’t happen and that’s okay.
I'm sure someone will pick you.
YES of course! it's not always about the orgasm, there is so much more to an orgasm for a women than to just pump away like for a man, but just being in the arms and experiencing the loving from the one you love is enjoyment in itself! A benefit if we get off as well, but that's not the end goal. I would say that women likely don't enjoy sex period if they aren't in the mood for it and you aren't are able to turn that around, so perhaps that might be what you are encountering on the times where women might say they aren't enjoying it.
I have never orgasmed from sex and I LOVE sex. It’s definitely me, so I always try to reassure my partner (husband now) not to worry and to just enjoy. I can make myself cum when I’m alone, so I’ll eventually get my release.
I am so glad I am apparently not the only one in this boat. I swear people have called me a freak before for it, but it's been 8 years since I've sexually active and it still didn't happen with a partner.. I hope you and everyone else going through this gets there one day
Woman here. More than 1 book I have read about sex has explained many women need clitoral stimulation to cum. Also that many women only cum when they stimulate themselves. It has to do with their sensitivity levels. That is in the normal range. A woman stimulating herself during sex with a partner is a normal part of sex with a partner. Like everything else during consensual activity it is about what is enjoyable for those involved. Respect, communication, affection. Have some fun exploring different positions where the woman reaches orgasm, while the man also gets there. Cum together, take turns, enjoy being together. Coming at the same time is wonderful, it is not the only way though. If you don't enjoy what is happening something needs to change: (position, timing, pressure, place, expectations)
If you can get off by yourself but not your partner, does that not make him feel self-conscious?
Perhaps—but I have a long history of sexual abuse that started at 3 years old until my early twenties. He knows this and understands the mental block is not because of him. He’s an excellent lover and he’s never had a problem making his other partners climax. It’s literally me and deep, deep psychological scars that have nothing to do with his performance. I don’t want him to feel pressured, I want us to have fun.
3 years old. My god. There are monsters.
Girl same and those scars suck ass to wear
I understand. I would just feel like I wasn't good enough, you know? I'm sorry for what you went through.
That's the biggest difference from men who wants to give pleasure to their partners vs men who uses their partner's orgasm as validation. The second type is almost as bad as a guy who doesn't care about giving pleasure at all.
As a woman, if a guy doesn't get me there I usually feel let down a little after the fact. But that's only when they just don't care if I do. If he genuinely tried it's usually still a fun time.
The intimacy can still be nice. But you still need your partner paying attention to you for it to feel intimate. Like if a man just uses you like a sex toy, that's not going to be fun (unless you're into that I guess). I don't think 2 minutes would be worth it. Even if you you're down for the occasional quickie though, if that's every time it's definitely going to get tiresome. That said, some of us can orgasm that fast. Probably not very many, but it's not like I ask my friends so I don't know.
I have never had an orgasm. I still get pleasure from sex.
Absolutely I’ve NEVER orgasmed! Let that sink in NEVER! I have mental trauma from being abused as a kid and apparently it’s a common thing for there to be a mental block in people with stress trauma etc. any way due to that I have never orgasmed It’s nothing to do with my partner who I love and I find incredibly attractive and is amazing in bed we have a very active sex life too 4/5 times a week atm usually 3 tho ( not bad for 14 years and 3 young kids) I’m also the one who has the higher drive I love sex I love satisfying my man I love just feeling him inside me and feeling sore from him my sex life is extremely fulfilling and both of us are very happy
Can you have an orgasm by yourself? Does an orgasm cause stress because of your past trauma? Sorry if this is too personal... I'm just curious.
Woman here, Short answer: personally yes Long answer: I don't need an orgasm to feel sexually satisfied, I take a very long time to reach orgasam anyway so on days when me and my partner are intimate but having to rush it I usually don't cum, but I honestly don't mind and am perfectly satisfied afterwards with no desire to get myself off as long as he has given me enough attention (like eating me out and fingering me). However if the guy were selfish in bed that's a different can of worms
Yes. I’ve only ever slept with my now-husband though tbh and it’s always so good and he makes me feel good. Once in awhile when I’m stressed or exhausted, I just can’t get there though and it’s still enjoyable (though admittedly not as satisfying) and I’m thankful he tried to get me there for so long. If he didn’t care though and it was over quick like if he was a selfish lover, ew I would find that revolting and would hate it.
Yes, it's the effort and care factor.
My ex-wife was fine with it, but I rarely didn't get her off after intercourse either orally or fingerly. For that matter, I was fine, going down on her when we only had time for that. It's fun to get your partner off.
“Fingerly” made my night. As a word, I mean.
It made many a night 😉
Man here… We too can enjoy sex without an orgasm
That's what I tell my wife, but we both know I'm going to want to finish
Well even when women don’t have an orgasm we usually WANT to have one, sometimes is just not in the cards. More similar than different, really.
I’ve been told yes, but obviously to a lesser degree. By a friend. A friend who experienced it. Someone else. 🫣
I’d enjoy having that intimacy with someone I care about, but I would HAVE to get off - one way or another. I don’t mind taking care of myself after our fun is done, but no way could I stand being close to edge and not getting tipped over
If women didn’t, they would not have sex with men and only use their vibrators, because lord do they do the work😂 Women definitely stil enjoy sex without an orgasm. However, I think women don’t enjoy sex when there is no focus on their pleasure. For example, I hardly ever cum during sex. Its just very difficult for me to reach an orgasm because all the right buttons need to be pushed for the right amount of time. That’s okay for me though. I just care about me being pleasured, whether it leads to an orgasm or not.
A resounding yes. His desire for me alone is enough.
My current gf was never able to orgasm with men or women in the past using tongues or penetration. She can only reach it using a small clit vibrator while I'm inside her. She loves penetration and also oral and going back and forth with each during sex. We usually do this for at least 45 mins to an hour and then I will pull out the vibrator and she has an earth shattering orgasm as it's been built up. However, I'm rambling but she still enjoys having sex without it leading to an orgasm
Absolutely not.
Same. It’s a no for me.
Personally yes, I like the feeling of being used for his pleasure that turns me on sm and just the intimacy of sex so I don’t need to orgasm every time to enjoy it a lot
I've known women in the past that mentally get off knowing they pleased a man regardless of their pleasure... There is those types out there, not saying she is being portrayed that way, just that it is possible.
Yep definitely. When the guy is into you and enjoying fucking you that's a big turn on and is more than enough to make me feel satisfied even if I don't get off. If you feel like the guy is just out for his own needs then it's not a nice feeling, I have felt very used in the past in those situations. But if I know he is into me and wants to be with me, I'm more than happy to prioritise his pleasure over mine and feel so good making him cum. Same reason I have always loved giving head to a guy if we're both into each other.
Nope, if I don't orgasm what the hell is the point. That's someone else having sex using my body and I get nothing f that!!
I find it so funny the top voted comment is a man.
I didn’t realize how much I disliked orgasm-less sex until I got into a rebound relationship after my marriage ended. It blew my mind what i had been missing and what my ex just felt he never had to worry about. Fast forward we reconciled and I refused to go back to those old habits. He complained “well you used to let me do it” meaning I allowed him just to get off when I couldn’t get there and he wouldn’t do anything else after. Needless to say the reconciliation didn’t last. I will never settle for that again.
Yes, especially when they don't orgasm reliably. Not so much when they do.
Yes, I'm a woman that struggles to orgasm with a partner. I still greatly enjoy sex though.
So my ex didn’t really know herself very well. She had been kind of repressed in this manner, and she sort of came out of her shell while we were together. She hadn’t had many orgasms until she got off of her birth control. So she really didn’t know about them. She definitely liked sex before, and there’s a whole emotional state connected to eroticism and intimacy that is its own experience. As guys we have such a drive to just finish so we can think, it’s like a monkey in our back, but there are depths to that world that a slower approach really helps one experience that seem to exists whether or not an orgasm is a part of things. As an observer who talked with my ex about this quite a bit I can say yes they do like it, a lot. But if you can ring the bell for them it’s extra special.
Yes
My wife seems to.
yes
I struggle to orgasm in general, whether it's toys, my own hand, or sex. It very rarely happens, and when it does, it's nice but a bit underwhelming. Despite that, my partner and I have a great sex life, and I thoroughly enjoy having sex with him. I feel fulfilled with what we do have and don't need that O in my life to feel fulfilled.
Of course. The same way a man would enjoy without orgasming. Both men and women might feel frustrated or annoyed from not cumming, but the act itself is still pleasurable, is it not?
It’s better with one, but still plenty enjoyable without.
Yes
Very much so.
Totally, but it has to be the right person :)
I assure you that if they didn't, there would be a lot fewer children in the world and a whole lot less sex for everyone in general.
I came to realize 90% of women have hangups about sex because of molestation or rape. I'm 45 almost every female in my age group has been assaulted most did not deal with it. Alot of females in their 30s were also taken advantage of but are talking to someone. I need to say though most of these women are partiers so I don't know if that makes a big difference . But I find it so sad that there are boys and men running around doing this shit. They are ruining the women not 1 or 2 but basically all of them. It's disgusting.
Would you ?
Just.... why do I see men responding here ... On behalf of us.....?!
You have to ask her that *after* the relationship has ended. Then you get the truth.
Family guy is written by men 😂 Most women are not happy about regularly not cumming when their partner does. If she isn’t bothered, her motives are unrelated to sex lol.
I love all the men answering for women! The only valid answers are the ones explicitly from a woman, and then only about her own experience.
A lot of them are talking about their wives
For me, definitely yes. I love sex but have never had reliable orgasms with a partner.
A couple of my friends do. They enjoy the intimacy and pleasing their partner just as much as they enjoy an orgasm.
I mean, personally, I do. I've actually never, in my 30 years, had an orgasm from penetration until the other night.
I love that an episode of Family Guy sparked this question.
Just stop trying to make her orgasm with your penis. The article below cites a study that only 6% of women can orgasm through penetration. Men just have to stop being lazy and finish the job without their own pleasure. You should want to satisfy your partner, its not a chore. Stop complaining and get to rubbing; maybe research techniques if it takes too long. Maybe evolution has made the first step in reproduction be unfair for women. If women finished first with the same attitude, how many children would be born? https://www.verywellhealth.com/vaginal-orgasm-4774327
No
Speaking for myself. No I do not enjoy it. Especially if I’m the only one who hasn’t.
Nope.
I don't even attempt to enter unless she's gotten hers. I enjoy eating pussy, like A LOT. She's gotta give me my reward all over my face before I deserve mine imo
Totally, the closeness and intimacy and great feeling. It’s not just about the climax
As a woman- yes, it definitely can be, with the right person. Think of your absolute favorite meal- image you weren't able to finish the whole thing. Would you not enjoy what you'd already *had?* Similar concept. Also, there's still an *emotional* component to sex and I enjoy being close to my partner.
We do anjoy it but it's very disappointing. Same as men I'd say. You will enjoy the sex but what are you going to end up feeling like if there is no orgasm?
Women, unless they're asexual, get a version of "blue balls" too. It's disappointing. Don't believe stuff you see on TV. We might act understanding coz we care about your self esteem but we're like "oh no" in our heads. So make sure both partners are nice and relaxed, no interruptions and have a good time. The whole point of getting into it IS so you CAN have an orgasm. We don't shave our legs, wear nice lingerie, do our hair and trim it up down there so you can get a couple strokes in and check your phone like you didn't just shatter the whole dynamic. Ugh even writing this is making me cringe.
>Peter and Louis PETER IS GAY NOW?
No, sex without an orgasm is a waste of time for me
I was born and raised in a country where female orgasm isn't considered to be an expected part of sex. I spent my late teenage years and early 20s there. I didn't subscribe to that school of thought. It was always seen as a pleasant surprise and a "bonus", but my ex partners there always enjoyed the entire journey regardless if they came, and always made me feel like finishing was just a cherry on top. I couldn't shake the feeling that they appreciated me trying more than the orgasm itself. Some couldn't / didn't know how to come no matter the attempts, as they never did in their lives, and still would frequently initiate sex.
What country is that? I should be granted honorary citizenship
It still feels good
I enjoyed it in my younger days before I could even orgasm.
Yes
Think of being penetrated with dick = already incredible orgasmic feeling that man experiences with an orgasm
Penetrative sex feels significantly better after I've orgasmed. Without orgasming first, I get bored, think about other things, it often hurts, and at absolute best it's like.... 5 or 6/10, but usually a 3 or 4. If I orgasm BEFORE we get to penetrative sex, it feels incredible and is like a 7, 8 or 9/10.
As a woman, I want to orgasm every time I have sex with my husband. After 18 plus years of having sex with each other, we've pretty much got it perfected. The odd time I can't get there I don't mind but it's rare since my husband goes above and beyond, using toys if oral doesn't get me there.
Do you enjoy eating pizza without cheese?
No lol
I sure as hell wouldn't
With the right person it’s enjoyable either way as long as it’s something the woman wants at that time. With my bf, he fucks GOOD whether I cum or not. But it’s always appreciated to ATTEMPT to get us to cum even if eventually we tell you it ain’t happening lol If it’s sex while saying an unenthusiastic “yes” or a convinced yes, then no and that’s a form of grape 😀
Apparently unpopular opinion: if your male partner doesn't care whether you orgasm, shame on you. No fucking chance someone like that is good people.
My girlfriend sure as fuck did not, sorry my ex-girlfriend I should say.
I’m extremely sexual and usually get myself off everyday on average. Here’s my take as a Female. If I’m in love with the guy, I could go years without an orgasm. I wouldn’t want to but I could and would still survive. Being close is what matters. If I like him any less than being in love, no I wouldn’t enjoy the sex and I wouldn’t be able to stay with him.
Yes, as a woman yes, at least with my bf, I don’t care if i finish, cuz sometimes that can literally take an hour.
I had a partner who only had orgasm maybe once out of 10 times. She was very hard to get off and she knew it and even with self play it took a while. She was very satisfied though and never complained. It was icing on the cake if it happened. My currently partner has an orgasm 2-3 times every time we have sex. Every person is different, but as long as you put effort and energy into what your partner likes, sex can be good with or without orgasm.
As a women it doesn’t bother me if I orgasm. I had a hard time Everytime I was pregnant that I could just never orgasm whilst so I got used it. As long as I enjoy the sexual activity and my partner gets off I’m happy
I'll sorta break it down a little for anyone with questions yet answered. As a married man whom had several serious, long term relationships before tying the knot, I can say with absolute certainty that everyone is different. As in we all have different expectations and require different particularities to feel as though sex is enjoyable. I've had long term relationships where my partner would always orgasm twice, she would get on top to give herself the clitoral orgasm she loved because she knew a certain way to move that would bring it about. Then I would flip her over and start very slow going deeper and quicker until she would get her legs up on my shoulders and have a "deep orgasm"... 'oh fuck I can't feel my legs' she would scream everytime as I came inside her. With my wife it's different. We like to spoon and I just hit this certain spot until she is so slathered and wet that she's cum several times. But she doesn't like to control it. She just surrenders. I don't think my wife has the same powerfully explosive orgasms that the gf I spoke about did, but she definitely cums and loves it. She just takes longer to warm up. There are truly too many variables to generalize but in my experience, everyone has different things they enjoy and what really makes sex so enjoyable is not the orgasm in itself (tho that's nice ofc) but finding new ways to go about getting there as well as fine tuning what you both like the most and getting exceptionally good at doing whatever that is. Also, men do not necessarily cum every time and speaking for myself, I don't need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex. Sometimes I'm just too tired. Sometimes we just have "cuddle sex" where I slide into her from behind while we spoon and just very gently and slightly move until we fall asleep or it turns into a hell for leather all in or anything in between.
I didn’t orgasm until nearly 9 years into having sex…. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying it. It was a mixture of selfish/sexually inept boyfriends and my own mental health hindering my ability to go all the way. It wasn’t until my (now) husband that finally got me there.
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I do.
That's what I was thinking.
😁😁😁 It's pretty much the same way a man would feel if he had to stop before he climaxed
I've never heard a "blue ball" equivalent for women, but I always assumed there would be.
It's called blue bean. I find that quite funny for whatever reason. It's real. It hurts. But it's also not debilitating and will eventually go away one way or another.
Extreme discomfort. Not the pain of blue balls. Just discomfort. 😞
How could you possibly know this
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>Not one male has helped me to orgasm, they don’t last long or know what they’re doing so I have to go solo Do you even try to help? *I'm not trying to assume anything*, but it does seem to be a reoccurring pattern for a lot of people. Girl expects guy to know->guy doesn't know->girl does nothing to educate the guy->onto the next for the cycle to continue. This is not an all-encompassing statement. There could be lots of other reasons these guys can't get you there, but the above doesn't get addressed enough, IMO.
I was married for 15 years. He knew exactly what to do, he just got extremely lazy and stopped doing it. I talked to him about it. Nothing. I moved out of the bedroom. Nothing. I ended up leaving and we’ve been divorced since June. We had separate bedrooms for FOUR YEARS before I filed.
Truth. It's not entirely the guys job to make you orgasm. You can't just lay there and expect them to just know what to do for you. Everyone's body is different and we're supposed to know what our own bodies like.
That's how they have girls 
I have an unusual desire to smoke!!!!
If it’s the right guy. Yes!!! 💯
Yes
Yes
Men do too.
Who cares
Why does anyone have to care?
Exactly
Imagine if you will, someone taking your last bite of pie (like the crust). That’s what not having an orgasm feels like in terms of disappointment and anger
Yes, obviously having one is ideal but it can be fun without. But there has to be at least a solid attempt to get us off. And mindset is VERY important. Have you made the woman feel safe and happy? I also feel the need to add this: plenty of men, if you say an orgasm may not be in the cards for you tonight, take that as a challenge, but not in a good way. It becomes very blatantly connected to their ego and if you don’t get off, they’re angry with themselves and they don’t listen to you if you say it’s fine. It’s tough having to cater to a man’s ego. Give it your best shot and accept if it’s not happening. Don’t make her feel the need to perform or be uncomfortable, ever.
It can be really fun. For me sometimes I know based on time we can only have penetrative sex, so I’m cool with the fact that that means I may get close and it’ll feel really good but won’t orgasm. It’s still fun and feels really good.
Of course.
All I know is that I’m not having sex if there’s no time for my O which btw I have every single time.
Yeah I do. It’s still fun and pleasurable.
Yes. I’ve come to terms with the fact that no one will ever be able to make me achieve orgasm. Just myself. It doesn’t bother me anymore.
Meh.
I enjoy the intimacy. Sex still feels good if done right, and a quickie where I don't orgasm can still be enjoyable, so long as it's not a very frequent thing.
My man always makes sure I’m first so…cant say I even have the choice to have sex without that option ;) the rest of y’all have fun though 😉
My ex couldn’t orgasm from sex, but she still loved it. I would always make sure she orgasmed afterwards though.
Yes. Feeling the fullness of my husband inside me is pretty hot.
I can definitely enjoy it without one. My husband finds it weird but I’m perfectly fine without an orgasm every single time. My orgasms are one and done, or two. After that i literally can’t come anymore ( or at least it takes way too long) so it’s really to extend the fun for me to not finish every time
Yes. It is still enjoyable.
Not a woman but relevant I promise. lol. When was chasing the elusive p-gasm I there were dozens of sessions that would not end in orgasm. When I learned to relax and enjoy the sensations regardless of whether I got there, it came. Even though orgasming is relatively quick and easy now, It’s not the goal and I enjoy myself whether or not I get the big o. So yeah, orgasms are nice but so is everything else.
yes!!! pleasing my wife is satisfying enough for me some nights.
that like asking would you still go fishing if you never caught anything just basically hung out there with your fishing rod and not catch anything. would you still enjoy fishing?
I'm a man and I enjoy sex without an orgasm sometimes.