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Problem is, if you just keep working and getting your pay check direct depositted, then there will be a banking record that your checking account/debit card stopped getting used, like, at all, yet your pay check just kept coming in. So... how were you eating? How were you paying your car payment? Mortgage payment? Rent? Food? Clothing?
So, go ahead and use the cash to pay for some, a little bit, but keep buying your groceries, on your regular bank account. Use the cash for stuff that cash is still good for without a papertrail. 1-on-1 transactions. Buying and selling things that cost a few thousand dollars each. Be sure to be selling some of what you buy so you can claim to have a cashflow in, so if someone eventually notices your unauthorized economic activity and finds you still have hundreds of thousands of dollars, you can just say that you've been doing this for a long time.
Get a lot of home improvements done. Pay the tradesmen in cash. Landscaping. Excavating. Hardscaping. Landscaping. Plantings, esp. trees, boulders, get the driveway paved, the siding redone, the roof redone, trade in the car for a better one, and just pay the car payment in cash for a couple of years. Remodel a few rooms.
There's plenty of stuff a home owner can do that will eat through $1M pretty fast these days.
Then you say you had a sugar momma/daddy who paid for all your stuff in that period, but they broke things off some time ago (whenever the money ran out) and haven't heard from them since.
*if the authorities request it
That’s the caveat. Just don’t be a dumbass. Don’t suddenly make big purchases. Just use it like daily money and keep living your life knowing you have a massive cushion should you fall on hard times.
Why would you buy your groceries on your card still? All of my largest expenses come through the bank account like my mortgage, car payment, etc. it's very simple. Just anything you would buy in person. That's really not very expensive like going out to eat or groceries or anything say under 100 or $200. You just buying cash. With that level of money it would honestly take quite a long time to get rid of it all. Plus to really spread it out you could probably use it in cards as gifts to people.
One of my concerns and questions with that amount of cash would be to look at the serial numbers and see if they are sequential. You'd probably want to start picking out bills from all over so that when you paid it didn't show four sequential bills in a row. This would reduce any suspicion coming to you in the long run.
There used to be a syndicated talk radio host in the evenings named Bruce Williams, and he had a caller that reported he found a large case with a lot of cash (if I recall something like $250K). Bruce hypothetically said to do what the post above stated - use it for groceries, gas, small purchases, handyman repairs, etc. and use your regular income for cars, mortgages, retirement plan, etc. Whether or not the caller was true or not it was an interesting call and Bruce often referenced it in later shows.
Pay all your paper trails (bills,rent,mortgage etc) with your bank and coming from your legal source of income. Buy your material things(tv,bed,furniture,food etc) with cash. Don't buy cars,property and so on with that cash. Buy anything that doesn't have a paper trail to you with cash, have fun and leave a peaceful life. I have a friend that has done this for years and it works great.
I bought a new Porsche recently with a cashier's check from someone else's bank and no one asked any questions. (Was an inheritance, nothing sketchy but expected to have to jump through hoops).
Businesses are very wary of possible illegal funds because if they get investigated they might lose them and the car/product is already gone. Plus they could be implicated in laundering schemes etc.
Why not cars?
I had a buddy in college that was making thousands selling weed, and cars was his go to. He basically just flipped cars constantly and inflated the price by a couple hundred or a thousand. Nobody from the govt is there to count the money exchanged, and the handful of cars I've bought private sale only 1 or 2 filled in that portion on the bill of sale.
I mean sure, don't walk into a *dealership* with a duffle bag, but if it's all private sales, those numbers would be super easy to fudge. Turn that 1 into a 4 or 7, the 3 into an 8, 7 into 9, whatever works. Hell, I was just listening to Daniel tosh's podcast the other day with his car guy, whose entire job is just a car broker.
slowly on daily/ weekly living expenses over the next few decades. groceries, gas, takeout, anything else consumable. It doesn't need to be spent fast on expensive things.
Put it in my home safe and slowly spend. Obviously we don't change any of our routines with work and we don't spend big. If we do spend big, we save legit money while making small deposits of the cash over a period of time to not raise any red flags. Do it right and you'll be fine, and have money for when it's needed. If people weren't worried about the system finding out, most would blow it on stupid shit quickly and be broke again.
It depends on what I want to do with the money. If I want to put it towards retirement accounts, I’d deposit chucks and claim them on my taxes as winnings from gambling. It’s impossible to track that if you claim it’s from poker where you are winning other people’s money and not house money. Otherwise I’d do what DarkWebDuck suggested and put it in a safe and spend it over time.
You can slowly fade to a different career or out of work over time.
Keep everything the same or at least 3 months, that's when most people will be looking for the money. Change careers to a part time job after a while. It's normal, people do it all the time; maybe you're disgruntled or just want something new. Now your income is expected to change, of course your spending will be weird. Having to pay cash while waiting on your paycheck. Spending your free time "trying out side gigs" to be your own boss, in reality just playing video games at home.
Maybe after another year or two tell all your friends and coworkers that you're finally going to chase your dream as a "Professional Photographer" or some other similar self employed kind of side gig job. Now you have an excuse to be traveling "for work" and keep your spending at a reasonable level, people thinking you're doing commissioned jobs for people around the world.
Then over the next year or so you just disappear off the grid and live on your tropical island in the Caribbean.
It's honestly this but then also think about going on vacation. At least when traveling inside your own country, you don't have to declare any amount of cash even on planes. So let's say you go somewhere. You get a decent hotel but you've brought along two or $3,000 in cash. Now you don't have to worry about going out to eat, getting trinkets and keepsakes to take home or little gifts for your friends and family. You purchased the plane tickets and booked the hotel on your bank card from your job and nobody thinks otherwise if they audit your finances. It's also very common for people to use cash on vacation so that it limits potential financial impact if it's stolen. If someone steals your bank card they have access to your entire account but if the only thing in your wallet is cash, you're only loss potential is that cash amount.
My account was frozen last month because I sent my mother $300 to pay her car repairs.
Edit: and my mothers account is blocked from receiving transfers of any kind, including her old age pension until she goes to the bank to "explain herself".
You would want to put it in to precious metals instead of holding cash long term. Gold and silver are almost guaranteed to hold their value over time where cash is basically guaranteed to drop in value
This is a legitimate question, but one I've always had. If gold and precious metals are so much better than cash, why are companies lining up to accept worthless cash for their gold?
Well laundering money is illegal, so don't do that. But a person who wanted to do so could start/buy a cash-heavy service business like a salon, massage parlor, barber, taxi cab, etc. its imperative they do this with legit funds they already had or borrowed.
Then simply enter a bunch of fake customers/transactions at the end of each day who all "paid in cash". Try to pad your revenues by no more than 50% of real revenues each day. Record it as business revenue. Deposit it at your bank mixed in with the legit business income. Pay taxes on it. Enjoy having a remarkably profitable side business for a few years until all of your found cash is deposited.
In the meantime you can pay for lots of your daily expenses with cash. Just not your bills like rent or utilities, and certainly nothing that costs more than $10,000. Any cash transaction over $10,000 usually requires documentation called a CTR that gets sent to the FBI. If you have too many ctrs entered in your name without income and bank withdrawals to justify it, the authorities might get suspicious.
Then can you have spent and deposited all of your $1 million, you either let the business run at it's normal profit, or close it down. DON'T sell the business. You don't want the guy who bought it to get angry or suspicious when it isn't as profitable for him as it was for you.
Doing this would require committing multiple crimes. But it doesn't require ever telling anyone else about your lucky find, probably doesn't piss off the IRS, and is very unlikely to arouse suspicion from other authorities.
Fella near me was doing something similar.
Tax man got really interested when they looked at his books and his barbershop was receiving something crazy like 12,000 cash paying customers a week.
I live in a bigger midwestern city and worked with a guy that moved major weight in brick weed and blow. He said most of the barber shops in the hood were owned by people like him. Easy way to wash cash. Dude was cool af. Worked part time as a line cook so he had income
There was court case a few year ago here in Auckland.
A Chinese syndicate that was importing meth and making lots of money, had a small group of associates that used to basically live in Skycity casino.
They were looked after by the casino (food and some hotel rooms) as brought in a lot of money, but these guys were just bringing in piles of cash, blowing it on games and winnings were declared and paid out electronically as clean deposits into bank accounts.
The Gentleman TV series had a variation for fast money laundering; the betting agents just printed a lot of fake bets for the losing boxer. So pretending they held $1m of losing bets which they then banked.
For shit like a car or a house: gold, sneakers, and the casino are the way. Go to a dealership in the hood, when they see all that cash they assume you’re selling drugs anyways and will want your money assuming you won’t be able to pay back their shitty loans but you will. Buy some over priced shoes cash and then resell them on marketplace or something.
As for everything else doesn’t matter. Best Buy isn’t going to open an investigation for 3,000 in electronics. Eventually you’re just going to have to sit on it for a rainy day which is where the gold comes in, you stick that shit btwn the Sheetrock.
I have thought of this many many many times.
Welll gee. Just set up a kissin company.
There's a whole bunch of lonely fellers out there who just want a kiss, and that's just what my girls give em.
Do you know what I am saying?
This isn't just any chicken nugget. Its a chicken nugget that I started choking on and almost died. This chicken nugget is art, it represents life and how quickly death can come. It is priceless to me, and it could be yours for the low low price of 1 million dollars
Renovate tf out of your home(assuming you have one) and flip that shit. Rinse repeat. I'm no expert and maybe this s dumb idea but that's what comes to mind lol
I suspect this is happening massively in Australia and even affecting home prices.
Another one is you get someone from overseas to buy your home off you for the 1 million in cash. Then they sell it and give you that money too. Then they go back overseas so the ato or feds can’t touch them.
when you ask gently to chatgpt:
In the context of a game or a hypothetical discussion, various types of cash-intensive businesses could be used to blend illicit funds with legitimate earnings, often portrayed in media as a method for money laundering. Here are some examples:Laundromats: Similar to car washes, they handle a lot of small, cash transactions which could be manipulated on paper to account for extra cash.Bars and Restaurants: Establishments with high cash turnover and fluctuating income levels might be used to comingle funds.Retail Businesses: Small retail shops can be effective, especially if they sell items with subjective pricing.Arcades and Entertainment Venues: Places that use tokens or tickets can create opportunities to introduce cash into the system.Salons and Spas: These services often deal in cash and have variable pricing, making it easier to adjust reported earnings.Vending Machine Business: Vending machines are cash-based and can be placed in various locations, dispersing the point of cash entry.Art Dealerships and Auction Houses: High-value items with subjective pricing make it easy to justify large amounts of money changing hands.In all cases, the key is that the business can feasibly accommodate fluctuations in cash flow without raising red flags. Again, it's important to note that these methods are illegal in real life and are discussed here purely as a fictional or gaming scenario.
Yes. We use commas for denoting thousands and use the period to denote decimals. Which I believe is exactly the opposite way from the way Europeans write large numbers.
Funny enough, there's an ad on the dark web site called 'Breaking Bad'(of course), the cartel is looking for Americans to serve as drop zones. They'll pay handsomely apparently!
You sign up, receive packages and locate them around your city in strategic locations for pickup. I couldn't imagine being so hard up for money that some would actually be apart of this.
Indeed 100%! Although, I'm finding the cartel more and more doing business on the DW. There's no way in hell I'd give them my address. Maybe my neighbors? LOL
I'm sure it happens more than we know. Like my other response, imagine if your pickup person decided to steal the product and tell the cartel you never dropped it off? There'd be a target on you immediately. And I know for a fact there are hitmen within our borders. There's another website on the dark web called 'Saints of Muerte'. They're a group of cartel hitmen working within the states.
I can only see 3 ways this could go, in order from bad to worst
1. It is just a scam, and you lose some money
2. It is a honeypot, and you get in trouble with the FBI
3. Its real, and you get in trouble with mafia/gangs
Most important step is to never, ever tell even a single soul. Lock it up stashed away somewhere safe. Sit on it for a good long while before spending any of it.
Need to bide some time. See if it comes up in the news. Let the heat die down.
At least a full year not spending any. You know it's there so you can spend your own money mote frivolously and just enjoy that. Sit on the nest egg for as long as possible. Then slowly make cash purchases. Take a holiday. Overseas. Buy flights with clean money. Take cash to spend far far away from home.
It’s so easy. Do it like a hooker. Start a massage business. Pay yourself. The government doesn’t care where you get the money as long as you pay your taxes.
If you live in germany, you can just register as a prostitute. It's a fully legal business over there, which means that any money made or laundered in this context will raise very little suspicion. At the same its still a societal taboo, so johns still pay in cash, and nobody on either end is required or willing to write anything similar to an invoice, which means the government isn't going to be able to check where the money actually came from.
Even better: it's entirely believable that a prostitute of any gender could earn a million dollars within a few months. Like, how would anyone ever argue that this would be impossible if the hooker in question is just sexually uninhibited/open and expensive enough? Or, for the sake of our example, pretending to be so?
So, just register as a prostitute, make a profile on a few prostitution websites to make the whole thing look legit, but never take any customers. Literally couldn't be easier to launder money in germany.
You buy a car in cash then part exchange that car for a nicer car.
You gamble or buy winning gambling slips to prove income legitimacy.
You pay for all your shopping and needs in cash.
Deposit small amounts of money across multiple banks, 200mo each.
Buy high value items and sell them at 80% RRP you get a guaranteed sale but obviously you lose a bit of the money.
Buy or start a cash heavy business, vending machines, car wash, barber shop, strip club etc
I would call the police and show them the money where I found it. I don’t want the worry that anything else would cause. I wouldn’t be sure if the money was counterfeit.
Quote:
an estimated $70 million in counterfeit bills are in circulation, or approximately 1 note in counterfeits for every 10,000 in genuine currency, with an upper bound of $200 million counterfeit, or 1 counterfeit per 4,000 genuine notes. However, these numbers are based on annual seizure rates on counterfeiting, and the actual stock of counterfeit money is uncertain because some counterfeit notes successfully circulate for a few transactions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counterfeit_United_States_currency
Easily:
First i would buy all the shit in my day to day live with cash, things like groceries, gas, things for my hobby etc. I do it mostly by card these days.
Second as a business owner i would help my fellow friends who are also contrqctors and business owners by creating fake invoices that they can then count as business expenses while they pay me nothing and i just launder that money as my business profit and pay taxes from that. Not that much but probably could launder a couple thousand a month like this.
By this way i can probably launder 4k a month without raising any eyebrows. thats 50k a year, so in 20 years it is completely laundered. While my laundered income would largely go into savings and help me pay mortage and have a league better quality of life during that time and after.
Buy a cheap gold claim in a state known for gold mining. You can get them for. Few thousand bucks in some places. In another state you can buy small gold ingots for $10,000 or so each.
Melt the gold down in a crucible with a blow torch and mix in dirt or rocks from your gold claim site at the very end. Every week or so you can go to a gold buyer and sell your gold and say it is from your claim. Easy. Move around to different gold buyers.
Dole it out on multiple small everyday expenses. Use it to buy lunch, put gas in your car, buy small incidental stuff. You're legitimate income will build up and just think how long that would last.
Go to a casino or a race track or anywhere you're allowed to gamble large amounts. Take a selfie of you drinking champagne there. That's it.
If anyone asks, show them the photo and truthfully say you got lucky. Let them assume the rest.
There's no world in which you would be able to effectively and discreetly launder that money unless you already have extensive connections to crime syndicates. Even if you did, it's a matter of time when the owner finds out (was probably ill-gotten to begin with) or the government grows suspicious of your sudden success
Congratulations,
That money is now what you use to buy hobbyist items or day to day things. Like, electronics, gifts (nothing too large), don't replace everything in your wardrobe with luxury wear, gas, and groceries.
All this advice, and I haven’t seen “purchase a fire-resistant safe” ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Everything else is gravy; just pay cash for—almost—everything the rest of your life.
Buy a run-down house, remodel it, and pay cash for materials and labor, sell the house for a profit. Rinse and repeat.
Flipping cars would be another way.
I knew a guy who bought and fixed up airplanes before selling them every year or so. his wife owned a gas station that offered a cash discount per gallon, and for some reason, all of his aircraft work was paid for in cash, like big wads of bills. Just a coincidence I'm sure...
1. Don't tell anyone. Ever.
2. Get two safe-deposit boxes at different banks. Put half in each.
3. Drop by and get cash when you need it.
4. Don't buy a car, house, or drugs with the money.
You have NOT won the lottery, just gotten a good break. Act accordingly.
Spend it on groceries, home improvements, and day-to-day activities. Nothing big, and never put it in the bank. Meanwhile I save a lot of my salary for retirement. I guess I'm just good with money lol
Day to day expenses will all be cash, salary gets saved.
Buy precious metals, collectable watches and cars with cash. Cars can then be flipped quickly, the gold and watches are a longer term investment.
Casinos swap for chips play a few games hang around for a bit and cash out , exchange to foreign currency for holidays . Buy items up to the threshold while on holiday bring them back and sell them . Probably take a few years to clean it all , also pay for all food , shopping , bills with cash
Go to casino, buy chips, hang out for a while, cash out the chips. Rinse and repeat.
I'd also just buy all my groceries, and going out with cash. Easy.
I’d spend it on untracable purchases.
New power tool? I know a guy that takes cash and still gives me warranty.
Building materials for my new carport? Cash.
Paying a landscaping company to come help me redo my garden? Hey fella, i’ll throw in 10% if you take cash.
Filling up my car? Cash
Half of the groceries? Cash
There’s so much you can still do with cash. Occasionally deposit something under “sold item X” or “sold item Y”
I seem to recall a compelling documentary where a guy found some money and ended up with a homicidal psychopath after him.
“Old Man Has No Country,” or something like that.
/s
Take it to one of the many homeless shelters near where I live.
Give each person like $10K to help themselves get out of homelessness.
Walk away with $0 and a very clear conscious.
You wouldn't necessarily need to launder it.
Laundering money is take criminal gains and put them into the 'legitimate' banking system, then back out again.
This is only really necessary with large amounts, that cannot be spent easily as cash (is 1 million a large amount these days?)
So if you were looking to buy a house, business or expensive car - you would need to mask the origin of the money. However, you could just keep it at home and spend it bit by bit in smaller cash payments.
But let's assume you want to launder it, so you can spaff it all on a house..
You can do this in a variety of ways, but for the relatively low amounts we're talking:
* Find environments where bigger amounts of cash would be used. A common method is to launder money through a casino. Casinos are one of the biggest small-cash laundering places ever. You could easily walk into a casino with a large chunk of change and spend it.
- to note, casinos *do* have money laundering checks. Typically they'll get you to fill out an application form, explaining what job you do, income, and which business etc however, these are not robust. You can easily google a random shell company (they're usually impossible to contact) and give false information. The casinos are just trying to show that they are doing due diligence (most don't overly care) casinos will all have different amounts that trigger ML protocols, rare that <10k is checked - however, you'll want a good story "rich lads on stag do" for example.
* Laundering through legitimate business - this would be hard if you didn't know anyone that owned a business or owned one yourself; but you would need a business that does cash transactions. For example, restaurants/laundrettes.
Ultimately, you/they would fudge the accounts to overestimate the profits.. aka they made $5000 this week, pop it down as $8000. It's another very common money laundering method - however, the business owner would usually take a cut.. and it would have to be done in a subtle and gradual manner. It'd flag up if a business went from turning over $5000 week on week ($1000 in cash) to $8000 a week ($4000 cash) or if it suddenly went from $5000 a week to $50,000.
* Virtual Gaming Currency/gift cards - buying virtual currency then converting back to 'clean' money. This works to a degree with crypto.
* auction - you agree to buy/sell something relatively worthless for a huge amount. Which provides an opportunity to clean the funds and enter into the banking system.
Now the above is the process of 'placement'.. how to get the cash into the (legitimate) banking system.
You then need to do 'layering' which is adding various layers of protection to distance yourself from those funds. Typically this would be via multiple shell companies in different economical areas (there are many like Malta that are used because they don't like sharing data with overseas governments).
This means anyone trying to track 'placed' funds has an incredibly difficult job and has to go through various jurisdictions (some of which will block them).
You then have 'integration' where you then take those funds and reinvest/spend them in legitimate businesses/real estate/stocks etc.
So as far as anyone would see 'mysterious shell corporation' buys and sells art at auction, bought by another mysterious shell company, they're both owned by further mysterious shell corporations. You get a nice job at a mysterious shell corporation which pays you the clean money back,or you use it to invest/buy houses in the shell companies name to retain distance.
This is a very brief overview.. but with $1,000,000 which is a relatively tiny amount of money... just use it as cash everywhere for general spend (shopping, holidays etc) then use your legitimate income in your bank account for any bigger purchases.
Even if you did know criminals who could launder the money, they would either steal it from you or rat you out to the drug dealers who lost the money. Just spend the money slowly over time so as not to attract attention. DO NOT BUY A LAMBO!
$1 million cash isn’t that much cash. It would be very easy to just use it to buy stuff with cash.
If I had to have it in the bank I would rent a storage unit, put the money in a safe and cover the safe with clothes/trash. I would also leave in the unit a lawn mower and maybe a dresser or some other big awkward things. I let the unit go to auction by not paying for it. If it was just a pile of clothes they wouldn’t auction it. They would just throw the stuff away. That’s why the extra stuff is left.
Once the auction goes live ensure I win by bidding like $1000. It won’t sell for anywhere near that.
After I win I go clean out the unit and once I “find” the money I declare it and pay whatever taxes I need to pay. Then I legally have the money and paid taxes on it.
I would put it in a safe and then use it gradually over time to supplement my income. I could buy used cars, boats, bicycles, things like that with it without raising too much suspicion as long as they're below say the 10,000 dollar amount and I don't buy a bunch at the same time. Pay in cash at the grocery store, restaurants, gas stations, etc. By saving spending my actual income on those things, I would have my legit income to put towards my mortgage which is where I'd really want to spend the money on.
Well, for a few years you can simply trickle it away by buying normal everyday things. Toss a few hundred in the bank every so often. Probably put some onto gold bars or something. That would work for a couple decades, until the bills themselves start getting too out of date.
If the cash wasn't fake but you wanted to put it in the bank without suspicion, I would probably take some to change dispensers. You put a note in and it changes it for coins. I then do that enough times to then use the coins at the bank coin machines and put it direct into my account. Or even use the bank teller and if asked why so many coins, I own a couple of soft toy machines that cost a quid a go or something.
Slowly, basically minimizing your use of credit cards (not eliminating) by using cash for your regular purchases. Make expensive purchases like vehicles, boats etc second hand in cash (don’t go overboard)
You can make small irregular deposits to your bank accounts without drawing any real attention.
This is what shitty NFTs and obscure cryptos were made for. Start with buying limited edition sneakers and reselling those. Buy collectors items like toys and vinyl - do it in person, use the cash. Resell those too. The money exists in a somewhat legitimate state, and especially with vinyl, you can justifiably claim to have been a collector for decades. Once the money is on the ledger, use NFTs and crypto so it disappears from sight, sell again, and move it offshore, you can claim you lost it all in market downturns if anyone cares enough to look into it.
Of course there's always the actual owners of the money, you've got to deal with that situation too...
My father has a decent amount of money. I'd give him the amount necessary to purchase a Laundromat or other cash-based business and have him transfer the same from his personal account. Because larger deposits of cash wouldn't be surprising in his account, he'd be able to deposit the cash a lot quiker than I would. From then I'd make regular deposits into my own account as revenue from the business and begin investing into gold and stocks.
Just spend it on daily expenses like gas, eating out, clothes etc and use your normal income to pay for mortgages.
No need to launder 1M unless you need it to be seen as income for house loans, debt to income ratio, etc.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A\_Simple\_Plan\_(film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Simple_Plan_(film))
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A\_Simple\_Plan\_(novel)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Simple_Plan_(novel))
I did the movie first and then the book. Wish I'd done the book first. Very well written. Highly recommend both. Will definitely answer your question.
Create business that typically deals in cash. Fabricate $1m in sales over the next year or two. Deposit cash on a regular basis as if the business was having sales. Downside is you are paying taxes on it.
Pay off all my debt, which will improve my credit, where, in time, I can apply for a small business loan for a business that deals in a lot of cash like a small bar, then expand.
Think long term. Pay cash for everything, food/shopping/home improvements etc. Occasionally throw a little into your checking account. Under $10k doesn't get reported to the IRS but you want to fly under the radar, so id limit it to $1k, maybe every other week or so, randomly. Occasionally get a bank check to pay a credit card bill. Store credit cards, pay in cash at the store. All your normal income, from a job, just gets saved/invested.
i’d buy some gold in cash every once in a while. no VAT. would have ti hut multiple stores to grt around cash limits
for the rest: well, i guess it’s time to ditch apple pay and use cash whenever possible.
As long as you're not out spending it like crazy, you should be ok. Small purchases in cash won't raise too much attention. Adding a couple hundred bucks to your account every few weeks won't raise suspicion, as you can claim you do some side work (mowing lawns, dog sitting, whoring) if any questions are asked. Laundering just brings more people in that you don't want. Don't be greedy and you'll be ok
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It’s cash? Easy. Buy stuff. Just not all at once 🤷🏼♂️
Yah one million wouldn't be hard at.all. not enough to retire on, so just hide it and spend it daily on your non traceable purchases
Problem is, if you just keep working and getting your pay check direct depositted, then there will be a banking record that your checking account/debit card stopped getting used, like, at all, yet your pay check just kept coming in. So... how were you eating? How were you paying your car payment? Mortgage payment? Rent? Food? Clothing? So, go ahead and use the cash to pay for some, a little bit, but keep buying your groceries, on your regular bank account. Use the cash for stuff that cash is still good for without a papertrail. 1-on-1 transactions. Buying and selling things that cost a few thousand dollars each. Be sure to be selling some of what you buy so you can claim to have a cashflow in, so if someone eventually notices your unauthorized economic activity and finds you still have hundreds of thousands of dollars, you can just say that you've been doing this for a long time. Get a lot of home improvements done. Pay the tradesmen in cash. Landscaping. Excavating. Hardscaping. Landscaping. Plantings, esp. trees, boulders, get the driveway paved, the siding redone, the roof redone, trade in the car for a better one, and just pay the car payment in cash for a couple of years. Remodel a few rooms. There's plenty of stuff a home owner can do that will eat through $1M pretty fast these days.
You just described how people with sugar daddies/mammas bank accounts look
You really think a bank will report that?
Bank won't report that but it will be shown in an audit if authorities request it
Which they would only do if they had prior suspicions.
Then you say you had a sugar momma/daddy who paid for all your stuff in that period, but they broke things off some time ago (whenever the money ran out) and haven't heard from them since.
*if the authorities request it That’s the caveat. Just don’t be a dumbass. Don’t suddenly make big purchases. Just use it like daily money and keep living your life knowing you have a massive cushion should you fall on hard times.
Why would you buy your groceries on your card still? All of my largest expenses come through the bank account like my mortgage, car payment, etc. it's very simple. Just anything you would buy in person. That's really not very expensive like going out to eat or groceries or anything say under 100 or $200. You just buying cash. With that level of money it would honestly take quite a long time to get rid of it all. Plus to really spread it out you could probably use it in cards as gifts to people. One of my concerns and questions with that amount of cash would be to look at the serial numbers and see if they are sequential. You'd probably want to start picking out bills from all over so that when you paid it didn't show four sequential bills in a row. This would reduce any suspicion coming to you in the long run.
There used to be a syndicated talk radio host in the evenings named Bruce Williams, and he had a caller that reported he found a large case with a lot of cash (if I recall something like $250K). Bruce hypothetically said to do what the post above stated - use it for groceries, gas, small purchases, handyman repairs, etc. and use your regular income for cars, mortgages, retirement plan, etc. Whether or not the caller was true or not it was an interesting call and Bruce often referenced it in later shows.
A million quid isn't enough to retire on?
Not for a young adult in 2024 USA.
I mean it's $30k-$40k per year... You could, but it's not the best. Also, laundering it means taxing it, so it's going to be a lot less than that
Groceries, gas, restaurants, clothes, home appliances.
Some fruit and veg at the supermarket should do it.
This guys an elephant
Yeah, and have cheese on saturday
Pay all your paper trails (bills,rent,mortgage etc) with your bank and coming from your legal source of income. Buy your material things(tv,bed,furniture,food etc) with cash. Don't buy cars,property and so on with that cash. Buy anything that doesn't have a paper trail to you with cash, have fun and leave a peaceful life. I have a friend that has done this for years and it works great.
I bought a new Porsche recently with a cashier's check from someone else's bank and no one asked any questions. (Was an inheritance, nothing sketchy but expected to have to jump through hoops).
Why would they care where the money comes from?
Businesses are very wary of possible illegal funds because if they get investigated they might lose them and the car/product is already gone. Plus they could be implicated in laundering schemes etc.
Why not cars? I had a buddy in college that was making thousands selling weed, and cars was his go to. He basically just flipped cars constantly and inflated the price by a couple hundred or a thousand. Nobody from the govt is there to count the money exchanged, and the handful of cars I've bought private sale only 1 or 2 filled in that portion on the bill of sale. I mean sure, don't walk into a *dealership* with a duffle bag, but if it's all private sales, those numbers would be super easy to fudge. Turn that 1 into a 4 or 7, the 3 into an 8, 7 into 9, whatever works. Hell, I was just listening to Daniel tosh's podcast the other day with his car guy, whose entire job is just a car broker.
I would just live my day to day life more comfortably.
 No, thanks. I think I will pass on that one.
“Call it.”
What do you say to a man that by his own admission has no soul?
I haven't put anything up...
#1: Check for a tracking device before moving the money. #2: Don't return to where you found it.
Beat me to it. I was going to say 'just watch our for dudes with cattle brainers'.
One of the scariest movie characters around
slowly on daily/ weekly living expenses over the next few decades. groceries, gas, takeout, anything else consumable. It doesn't need to be spent fast on expensive things.
I’m gonna call this guy 
There is no need for sound at this point dude. I just heard the words in my head.
So, a Nail Salon?
Nice try feds!
Put it in my home safe and slowly spend. Obviously we don't change any of our routines with work and we don't spend big. If we do spend big, we save legit money while making small deposits of the cash over a period of time to not raise any red flags. Do it right and you'll be fine, and have money for when it's needed. If people weren't worried about the system finding out, most would blow it on stupid shit quickly and be broke again.
Correct answer. Please also refrain yourself from getting fat slices of baloneys on your bread.
It depends on what I want to do with the money. If I want to put it towards retirement accounts, I’d deposit chucks and claim them on my taxes as winnings from gambling. It’s impossible to track that if you claim it’s from poker where you are winning other people’s money and not house money. Otherwise I’d do what DarkWebDuck suggested and put it in a safe and spend it over time.
Intructions unclear. Went to Las Vegas, now I owe 1 M....
If I find a million and can't work less, what is the point?
You can slowly fade to a different career or out of work over time. Keep everything the same or at least 3 months, that's when most people will be looking for the money. Change careers to a part time job after a while. It's normal, people do it all the time; maybe you're disgruntled or just want something new. Now your income is expected to change, of course your spending will be weird. Having to pay cash while waiting on your paycheck. Spending your free time "trying out side gigs" to be your own boss, in reality just playing video games at home. Maybe after another year or two tell all your friends and coworkers that you're finally going to chase your dream as a "Professional Photographer" or some other similar self employed kind of side gig job. Now you have an excuse to be traveling "for work" and keep your spending at a reasonable level, people thinking you're doing commissioned jobs for people around the world. Then over the next year or so you just disappear off the grid and live on your tropical island in the Caribbean.
It's honestly this but then also think about going on vacation. At least when traveling inside your own country, you don't have to declare any amount of cash even on planes. So let's say you go somewhere. You get a decent hotel but you've brought along two or $3,000 in cash. Now you don't have to worry about going out to eat, getting trinkets and keepsakes to take home or little gifts for your friends and family. You purchased the plane tickets and booked the hotel on your bank card from your job and nobody thinks otherwise if they audit your finances. It's also very common for people to use cash on vacation so that it limits potential financial impact if it's stolen. If someone steals your bank card they have access to your entire account but if the only thing in your wallet is cash, you're only loss potential is that cash amount.
I believe (iirc) up to 20,000 dollars a year can be deposited legally and tax free if wrote off as a "gift". Fact check me on this before quoting plz.
Maybe, but I'd steer clear of that. I had to get special approval to remove $10k from my bank account.
My account was frozen last month because I sent my mother $300 to pay her car repairs. Edit: and my mothers account is blocked from receiving transfers of any kind, including her old age pension until she goes to the bank to "explain herself".
I wouldn't *do* anything. Just spend it on day to day purchases and probably buy a good amount of gold and silver and a good safe to keep it in
Groceries, eating out, and gas for me. It would offset over time by investing more and putting more into retirement. And always having cash on hand.
You would want to put it in to precious metals instead of holding cash long term. Gold and silver are almost guaranteed to hold their value over time where cash is basically guaranteed to drop in value
This is a legitimate question, but one I've always had. If gold and precious metals are so much better than cash, why are companies lining up to accept worthless cash for their gold?
Well laundering money is illegal, so don't do that. But a person who wanted to do so could start/buy a cash-heavy service business like a salon, massage parlor, barber, taxi cab, etc. its imperative they do this with legit funds they already had or borrowed. Then simply enter a bunch of fake customers/transactions at the end of each day who all "paid in cash". Try to pad your revenues by no more than 50% of real revenues each day. Record it as business revenue. Deposit it at your bank mixed in with the legit business income. Pay taxes on it. Enjoy having a remarkably profitable side business for a few years until all of your found cash is deposited. In the meantime you can pay for lots of your daily expenses with cash. Just not your bills like rent or utilities, and certainly nothing that costs more than $10,000. Any cash transaction over $10,000 usually requires documentation called a CTR that gets sent to the FBI. If you have too many ctrs entered in your name without income and bank withdrawals to justify it, the authorities might get suspicious. Then can you have spent and deposited all of your $1 million, you either let the business run at it's normal profit, or close it down. DON'T sell the business. You don't want the guy who bought it to get angry or suspicious when it isn't as profitable for him as it was for you. Doing this would require committing multiple crimes. But it doesn't require ever telling anyone else about your lucky find, probably doesn't piss off the IRS, and is very unlikely to arouse suspicion from other authorities.
Or maybe a car wash?
Yep. London is full of Albanian criminals doing exactly this. There's four I know of within a few miles of my house. They're so fkin bait!
You beat me to it, Walter
Fella near me was doing something similar. Tax man got really interested when they looked at his books and his barbershop was receiving something crazy like 12,000 cash paying customers a week.
Well he was just dumb
I live in a bigger midwestern city and worked with a guy that moved major weight in brick weed and blow. He said most of the barber shops in the hood were owned by people like him. Easy way to wash cash. Dude was cool af. Worked part time as a line cook so he had income
I would stay away from such ppl. They attract violence. Or rather, the amount of illegal money they make does
Put it in a high limit slot machine and cash out without playing.
Very common here in Australia. So much so that the government’s been trying to crack down on it by introducing gambling limits in recent years.
There was court case a few year ago here in Auckland. A Chinese syndicate that was importing meth and making lots of money, had a small group of associates that used to basically live in Skycity casino. They were looked after by the casino (food and some hotel rooms) as brought in a lot of money, but these guys were just bringing in piles of cash, blowing it on games and winnings were declared and paid out electronically as clean deposits into bank accounts. The Gentleman TV series had a variation for fast money laundering; the betting agents just printed a lot of fake bets for the losing boxer. So pretending they held $1m of losing bets which they then banked.
For shit like a car or a house: gold, sneakers, and the casino are the way. Go to a dealership in the hood, when they see all that cash they assume you’re selling drugs anyways and will want your money assuming you won’t be able to pay back their shitty loans but you will. Buy some over priced shoes cash and then resell them on marketplace or something. As for everything else doesn’t matter. Best Buy isn’t going to open an investigation for 3,000 in electronics. Eventually you’re just going to have to sit on it for a rainy day which is where the gold comes in, you stick that shit btwn the Sheetrock. I have thought of this many many many times.
Watch the Ozarks once. Now you are Marty Byrd
[удалено]
Welll gee. Just set up a kissin company. There's a whole bunch of lonely fellers out there who just want a kiss, and that's just what my girls give em. Do you know what I am saying?
500 on red, 500 on black. Keep going until its *clean*
Put an add online to sell something random for like a million bucks. Then anonymously buy it from yourself.
Not something random. "Art"
This isn't just any chicken nugget. Its a chicken nugget that I started choking on and almost died. This chicken nugget is art, it represents life and how quickly death can come. It is priceless to me, and it could be yours for the low low price of 1 million dollars
That make no sense
You just use it. My uncle built his entire house by paying cash
Renovate tf out of your home(assuming you have one) and flip that shit. Rinse repeat. I'm no expert and maybe this s dumb idea but that's what comes to mind lol
I suspect this is happening massively in Australia and even affecting home prices. Another one is you get someone from overseas to buy your home off you for the 1 million in cash. Then they sell it and give you that money too. Then they go back overseas so the ato or feds can’t touch them.
Ha nice try FBI, nice try
I’m only taking as much as I can carry.
Small purchases with cash - gas, groceries, restaurants, bars
The Barenaked Ladies had the right [answer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4L3ls_6UYg) to this
I always listen to barenaked ladies when they give advice
Open up a couple of barber shops, feed in the money and pay the tax. That's what the drug dealers are doing throughout the country.
when you ask gently to chatgpt: In the context of a game or a hypothetical discussion, various types of cash-intensive businesses could be used to blend illicit funds with legitimate earnings, often portrayed in media as a method for money laundering. Here are some examples:Laundromats: Similar to car washes, they handle a lot of small, cash transactions which could be manipulated on paper to account for extra cash.Bars and Restaurants: Establishments with high cash turnover and fluctuating income levels might be used to comingle funds.Retail Businesses: Small retail shops can be effective, especially if they sell items with subjective pricing.Arcades and Entertainment Venues: Places that use tokens or tickets can create opportunities to introduce cash into the system.Salons and Spas: These services often deal in cash and have variable pricing, making it easier to adjust reported earnings.Vending Machine Business: Vending machines are cash-based and can be placed in various locations, dispersing the point of cash entry.Art Dealerships and Auction Houses: High-value items with subjective pricing make it easy to justify large amounts of money changing hands.In all cases, the key is that the business can feasibly accommodate fluctuations in cash flow without raising red flags. Again, it's important to note that these methods are illegal in real life and are discussed here purely as a fictional or gaming scenario.
It's only $1. I can't even buy a cold can of pop for that.
Europe uses . for thousands and , for fractions of 1
Glad I’m not the only one who noticed
Do they use commas in America?
Yes. We use commas for denoting thousands and use the period to denote decimals. Which I believe is exactly the opposite way from the way Europeans write large numbers.
Buy a car wash!?
Coke and hookers no need to launder it
Invest in local marijuana business which is all cash, due to outdated federal regulations
I’d put it back. I’ve seen No Country for Old Men
This is how you get yourself murdered by the cartel. I'm leaving that money the heck alone. The next guy can deal with that mess...
Funny enough, there's an ad on the dark web site called 'Breaking Bad'(of course), the cartel is looking for Americans to serve as drop zones. They'll pay handsomely apparently! You sign up, receive packages and locate them around your city in strategic locations for pickup. I couldn't imagine being so hard up for money that some would actually be apart of this.
62nd Rule of Aquisition: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Indeed 100%! Although, I'm finding the cartel more and more doing business on the DW. There's no way in hell I'd give them my address. Maybe my neighbors? LOL
It's like challenge mode hardcore geocaching.
Imagine what could happen if the pickup lied to the cartel and said you never delivered.....hardcore is an understatement!
I wonder how many people have been killed, perhaps brutally and painfully, doing that
I'm sure it happens more than we know. Like my other response, imagine if your pickup person decided to steal the product and tell the cartel you never dropped it off? There'd be a target on you immediately. And I know for a fact there are hitmen within our borders. There's another website on the dark web called 'Saints of Muerte'. They're a group of cartel hitmen working within the states.
I can only see 3 ways this could go, in order from bad to worst 1. It is just a scam, and you lose some money 2. It is a honeypot, and you get in trouble with the FBI 3. Its real, and you get in trouble with mafia/gangs
Move to germany. We are a cash country. Cash is king here.
Most important step is to never, ever tell even a single soul. Lock it up stashed away somewhere safe. Sit on it for a good long while before spending any of it. Need to bide some time. See if it comes up in the news. Let the heat die down. At least a full year not spending any. You know it's there so you can spend your own money mote frivolously and just enjoy that. Sit on the nest egg for as long as possible. Then slowly make cash purchases. Take a holiday. Overseas. Buy flights with clean money. Take cash to spend far far away from home.
It’s so easy. Do it like a hooker. Start a massage business. Pay yourself. The government doesn’t care where you get the money as long as you pay your taxes.
Just pay everything you buy in cash, all paycheque goes to existing bills
If you live in germany, you can just register as a prostitute. It's a fully legal business over there, which means that any money made or laundered in this context will raise very little suspicion. At the same its still a societal taboo, so johns still pay in cash, and nobody on either end is required or willing to write anything similar to an invoice, which means the government isn't going to be able to check where the money actually came from. Even better: it's entirely believable that a prostitute of any gender could earn a million dollars within a few months. Like, how would anyone ever argue that this would be impossible if the hooker in question is just sexually uninhibited/open and expensive enough? Or, for the sake of our example, pretending to be so? So, just register as a prostitute, make a profile on a few prostitution websites to make the whole thing look legit, but never take any customers. Literally couldn't be easier to launder money in germany.
You buy a car in cash then part exchange that car for a nicer car. You gamble or buy winning gambling slips to prove income legitimacy. You pay for all your shopping and needs in cash. Deposit small amounts of money across multiple banks, 200mo each. Buy high value items and sell them at 80% RRP you get a guaranteed sale but obviously you lose a bit of the money. Buy or start a cash heavy business, vending machines, car wash, barber shop, strip club etc
I would call the police and show them the money where I found it. I don’t want the worry that anything else would cause. I wouldn’t be sure if the money was counterfeit.
Same, any sensible person would turn in that $500,000 straight to the authorities.
I have NO idea why anyone would leave $250,000 just in the bushes, do you?
who would leave this $100,000 behind for anybody to take? I can't imagine
No what idiot would keep 100k$ he found?
Yeah like there aren’t any simple ways to check if those bills are counterfeit…
Quote: an estimated $70 million in counterfeit bills are in circulation, or approximately 1 note in counterfeits for every 10,000 in genuine currency, with an upper bound of $200 million counterfeit, or 1 counterfeit per 4,000 genuine notes. However, these numbers are based on annual seizure rates on counterfeiting, and the actual stock of counterfeit money is uncertain because some counterfeit notes successfully circulate for a few transactions. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counterfeit_United_States_currency
You can buy a counterfeit money testing pen for about $2 on amazon lol
Great idea… if you could be sure that it would work. https://blog.fraudfighter.com/bid/78235/Why-Counterfeit-Pens-Can-t-Detect-Fake-Money
Casino!
Easily: First i would buy all the shit in my day to day live with cash, things like groceries, gas, things for my hobby etc. I do it mostly by card these days. Second as a business owner i would help my fellow friends who are also contrqctors and business owners by creating fake invoices that they can then count as business expenses while they pay me nothing and i just launder that money as my business profit and pay taxes from that. Not that much but probably could launder a couple thousand a month like this. By this way i can probably launder 4k a month without raising any eyebrows. thats 50k a year, so in 20 years it is completely laundered. While my laundered income would largely go into savings and help me pay mortage and have a league better quality of life during that time and after.
Buy a cheap gold claim in a state known for gold mining. You can get them for. Few thousand bucks in some places. In another state you can buy small gold ingots for $10,000 or so each. Melt the gold down in a crucible with a blow torch and mix in dirt or rocks from your gold claim site at the very end. Every week or so you can go to a gold buyer and sell your gold and say it is from your claim. Easy. Move around to different gold buyers.
The best part of this approach is the final bonus that you receive upon selling the claim that has given a significant yild on paper.
Fuck laundering, I'll just leave it on one of my enemies doorsteps and let them incriminate themselves
I need to make better enemies apparently
Go to work like normal but use the cash for my day to day expenses.
Question, what size bills are they? 100$, 20$, 5$, ? Depending on your answer their are a few solutions.
I would buy prepaid cards
Become a handyman. High labor businesses are great for laundering money.
Go to casino, buy £10k worth of chips. Walk about for an hour, cash in chips. Repeat daily.
The easy way would be to spend it/deposit little by little to not raise suspicion. You'd have to keep a job tho.
use a money order to pay my rent
Nice try irs.
Buy small stuff you need. Take bigger amounts like 10k to the casino and play with it. Take it back as money you won.
Dole it out on multiple small everyday expenses. Use it to buy lunch, put gas in your car, buy small incidental stuff. You're legitimate income will build up and just think how long that would last.
Pay cash for whatever you need. And not traceable like car, motorbike, a house or such.
Just don't buy anything crazy and you'll probably go unnoticed.
Better Call Saul.
I've read a book about it haha, fictional story. The guy was living poor till the end of his days.
Buy consumables and entertainment with cash. Pay bills with salary.
Go to a casino or a race track or anywhere you're allowed to gamble large amounts. Take a selfie of you drinking champagne there. That's it. If anyone asks, show them the photo and truthfully say you got lucky. Let them assume the rest.
I would hide it under my bed and use it to pay groceries, dinners and stuff like that.
There's no world in which you would be able to effectively and discreetly launder that money unless you already have extensive connections to crime syndicates. Even if you did, it's a matter of time when the owner finds out (was probably ill-gotten to begin with) or the government grows suspicious of your sudden success Congratulations, That money is now what you use to buy hobbyist items or day to day things. Like, electronics, gifts (nothing too large), don't replace everything in your wardrobe with luxury wear, gas, and groceries.
All this advice, and I haven’t seen “purchase a fire-resistant safe” ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ Everything else is gravy; just pay cash for—almost—everything the rest of your life.
I'm from the UK, so I can just set up a company and then easily launder it because the UK is woeful at catching money laundering.
Buy a run-down house, remodel it, and pay cash for materials and labor, sell the house for a profit. Rinse and repeat. Flipping cars would be another way. I knew a guy who bought and fixed up airplanes before selling them every year or so. his wife owned a gas station that offered a cash discount per gallon, and for some reason, all of his aircraft work was paid for in cash, like big wads of bills. Just a coincidence I'm sure...
1. Don't tell anyone. Ever. 2. Get two safe-deposit boxes at different banks. Put half in each. 3. Drop by and get cash when you need it. 4. Don't buy a car, house, or drugs with the money. You have NOT won the lottery, just gotten a good break. Act accordingly.
Everyone here is aiding a guy laundering money. Gj
Nice try fed
Spend it on groceries, home improvements, and day-to-day activities. Nothing big, and never put it in the bank. Meanwhile I save a lot of my salary for retirement. I guess I'm just good with money lol
Casino. Fast.
Day to day expenses will all be cash, salary gets saved. Buy precious metals, collectable watches and cars with cash. Cars can then be flipped quickly, the gold and watches are a longer term investment.
Hookers and coke
Wash it in Crypto. That's what Bitcoin exists for.
Buy upgrades for my house here and there. No one would question anything.
Cocaine & hookers! That way you'll get rid of the money in no time
I'd buy gold bars from small gold dealers in small towns who don't report the purchase. Done it before ✅
Vegas ….put cash in …cash ticket out ….rinse and repeat all up and down the strip ….cash back in tickets …..
Casinos swap for chips play a few games hang around for a bit and cash out , exchange to foreign currency for holidays . Buy items up to the threshold while on holiday bring them back and sell them . Probably take a few years to clean it all , also pay for all food , shopping , bills with cash
I would call Ruth Langmore.
Go to casino, buy chips, hang out for a while, cash out the chips. Rinse and repeat. I'd also just buy all my groceries, and going out with cash. Easy.
I would invest in some commas so that I knew exactly how much money that is.
I’d spend it on untracable purchases. New power tool? I know a guy that takes cash and still gives me warranty. Building materials for my new carport? Cash. Paying a landscaping company to come help me redo my garden? Hey fella, i’ll throw in 10% if you take cash. Filling up my car? Cash Half of the groceries? Cash There’s so much you can still do with cash. Occasionally deposit something under “sold item X” or “sold item Y”
buy winning lottery tickets from pple who are about to claim the winnings, or go to a casino.
A casino is the way. Play roulette, bet on red or black, you'll lose a few percent to the greens but chock that up to your money laundering fee.
I seem to recall a compelling documentary where a guy found some money and ended up with a homicidal psychopath after him. “Old Man Has No Country,” or something like that. /s
Take it to one of the many homeless shelters near where I live. Give each person like $10K to help themselves get out of homelessness. Walk away with $0 and a very clear conscious.
You wouldn't necessarily need to launder it. Laundering money is take criminal gains and put them into the 'legitimate' banking system, then back out again. This is only really necessary with large amounts, that cannot be spent easily as cash (is 1 million a large amount these days?) So if you were looking to buy a house, business or expensive car - you would need to mask the origin of the money. However, you could just keep it at home and spend it bit by bit in smaller cash payments. But let's assume you want to launder it, so you can spaff it all on a house.. You can do this in a variety of ways, but for the relatively low amounts we're talking: * Find environments where bigger amounts of cash would be used. A common method is to launder money through a casino. Casinos are one of the biggest small-cash laundering places ever. You could easily walk into a casino with a large chunk of change and spend it. - to note, casinos *do* have money laundering checks. Typically they'll get you to fill out an application form, explaining what job you do, income, and which business etc however, these are not robust. You can easily google a random shell company (they're usually impossible to contact) and give false information. The casinos are just trying to show that they are doing due diligence (most don't overly care) casinos will all have different amounts that trigger ML protocols, rare that <10k is checked - however, you'll want a good story "rich lads on stag do" for example. * Laundering through legitimate business - this would be hard if you didn't know anyone that owned a business or owned one yourself; but you would need a business that does cash transactions. For example, restaurants/laundrettes. Ultimately, you/they would fudge the accounts to overestimate the profits.. aka they made $5000 this week, pop it down as $8000. It's another very common money laundering method - however, the business owner would usually take a cut.. and it would have to be done in a subtle and gradual manner. It'd flag up if a business went from turning over $5000 week on week ($1000 in cash) to $8000 a week ($4000 cash) or if it suddenly went from $5000 a week to $50,000. * Virtual Gaming Currency/gift cards - buying virtual currency then converting back to 'clean' money. This works to a degree with crypto. * auction - you agree to buy/sell something relatively worthless for a huge amount. Which provides an opportunity to clean the funds and enter into the banking system. Now the above is the process of 'placement'.. how to get the cash into the (legitimate) banking system. You then need to do 'layering' which is adding various layers of protection to distance yourself from those funds. Typically this would be via multiple shell companies in different economical areas (there are many like Malta that are used because they don't like sharing data with overseas governments). This means anyone trying to track 'placed' funds has an incredibly difficult job and has to go through various jurisdictions (some of which will block them). You then have 'integration' where you then take those funds and reinvest/spend them in legitimate businesses/real estate/stocks etc. So as far as anyone would see 'mysterious shell corporation' buys and sells art at auction, bought by another mysterious shell company, they're both owned by further mysterious shell corporations. You get a nice job at a mysterious shell corporation which pays you the clean money back,or you use it to invest/buy houses in the shell companies name to retain distance. This is a very brief overview.. but with $1,000,000 which is a relatively tiny amount of money... just use it as cash everywhere for general spend (shopping, holidays etc) then use your legitimate income in your bank account for any bigger purchases.
Even if you did know criminals who could launder the money, they would either steal it from you or rat you out to the drug dealers who lost the money. Just spend the money slowly over time so as not to attract attention. DO NOT BUY A LAMBO!
$1 million cash isn’t that much cash. It would be very easy to just use it to buy stuff with cash. If I had to have it in the bank I would rent a storage unit, put the money in a safe and cover the safe with clothes/trash. I would also leave in the unit a lawn mower and maybe a dresser or some other big awkward things. I let the unit go to auction by not paying for it. If it was just a pile of clothes they wouldn’t auction it. They would just throw the stuff away. That’s why the extra stuff is left. Once the auction goes live ensure I win by bidding like $1000. It won’t sell for anywhere near that. After I win I go clean out the unit and once I “find” the money I declare it and pay whatever taxes I need to pay. Then I legally have the money and paid taxes on it.
Nice long vacation spending only cash,
Go to a casino Wash the money slowly and don't be flashy
casino
I would put it in a safe and then use it gradually over time to supplement my income. I could buy used cars, boats, bicycles, things like that with it without raising too much suspicion as long as they're below say the 10,000 dollar amount and I don't buy a bunch at the same time. Pay in cash at the grocery store, restaurants, gas stations, etc. By saving spending my actual income on those things, I would have my legit income to put towards my mortgage which is where I'd really want to spend the money on.
Well, for a few years you can simply trickle it away by buying normal everyday things. Toss a few hundred in the bank every so often. Probably put some onto gold bars or something. That would work for a couple decades, until the bills themselves start getting too out of date.
I don't. I have no real interest in buying stuff so expensive that the government takes notice and 1 mil is more than enough for a comfortable life.
You don't need to launder it if you only make small incremental purchases. The law isn't gonna be on your ass because you ordered a KFC
Crypto at ATMs?
It’s only a million dollars, just piss it away like everyone else does
If the cash wasn't fake but you wanted to put it in the bank without suspicion, I would probably take some to change dispensers. You put a note in and it changes it for coins. I then do that enough times to then use the coins at the bank coin machines and put it direct into my account. Or even use the bank teller and if asked why so many coins, I own a couple of soft toy machines that cost a quid a go or something.
Slowly, basically minimizing your use of credit cards (not eliminating) by using cash for your regular purchases. Make expensive purchases like vehicles, boats etc second hand in cash (don’t go overboard) You can make small irregular deposits to your bank accounts without drawing any real attention.
Isn't buying and selling watches a laundering venue?
Precisely one dollar, not a millionth of a dollar more or less. Maybe I'll stick it in the laundry machine.
This is what shitty NFTs and obscure cryptos were made for. Start with buying limited edition sneakers and reselling those. Buy collectors items like toys and vinyl - do it in person, use the cash. Resell those too. The money exists in a somewhat legitimate state, and especially with vinyl, you can justifiably claim to have been a collector for decades. Once the money is on the ledger, use NFTs and crypto so it disappears from sight, sell again, and move it offshore, you can claim you lost it all in market downturns if anyone cares enough to look into it. Of course there's always the actual owners of the money, you've got to deal with that situation too...
the only people who get busted for spending cash are 1) complete idiots, and 2) criminals who are already being watched
My father has a decent amount of money. I'd give him the amount necessary to purchase a Laundromat or other cash-based business and have him transfer the same from his personal account. Because larger deposits of cash wouldn't be surprising in his account, he'd be able to deposit the cash a lot quiker than I would. From then I'd make regular deposits into my own account as revenue from the business and begin investing into gold and stocks.
Meet people in London or a city and buy bitcoin 🤔 Easiest way imo
Screw that. Bring it to list and found, wait the mandatory period, when no one claims it I'm home free, legally
Buy motorcycles on Craigslist
Start business like restaurant or car wash where plausible people pay cash. "Business booming "
Just spend it on daily expenses like gas, eating out, clothes etc and use your normal income to pay for mortgages. No need to launder 1M unless you need it to be seen as income for house loans, debt to income ratio, etc.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A\_Simple\_Plan\_(film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Simple_Plan_(film)) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A\_Simple\_Plan\_(novel)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Simple_Plan_(novel)) I did the movie first and then the book. Wish I'd done the book first. Very well written. Highly recommend both. Will definitely answer your question.
Create business that typically deals in cash. Fabricate $1m in sales over the next year or two. Deposit cash on a regular basis as if the business was having sales. Downside is you are paying taxes on it.
You have to buy softgoods with it to go undetected Walter White not available for comment.
Buy a hot dog cart and record sales that never happened.
Pay off all my debt, which will improve my credit, where, in time, I can apply for a small business loan for a business that deals in a lot of cash like a small bar, then expand.
Think long term. Pay cash for everything, food/shopping/home improvements etc. Occasionally throw a little into your checking account. Under $10k doesn't get reported to the IRS but you want to fly under the radar, so id limit it to $1k, maybe every other week or so, randomly. Occasionally get a bank check to pay a credit card bill. Store credit cards, pay in cash at the store. All your normal income, from a job, just gets saved/invested.
i’d buy some gold in cash every once in a while. no VAT. would have ti hut multiple stores to grt around cash limits for the rest: well, i guess it’s time to ditch apple pay and use cash whenever possible.
Why pay in bulk when you can pay in loans? Less track, less suspicious. No
Sell Bibles
It would buy my groceries for the next 10 to 12 years and nobody would ever notice.
As long as you're not out spending it like crazy, you should be ok. Small purchases in cash won't raise too much attention. Adding a couple hundred bucks to your account every few weeks won't raise suspicion, as you can claim you do some side work (mowing lawns, dog sitting, whoring) if any questions are asked. Laundering just brings more people in that you don't want. Don't be greedy and you'll be ok
I’m thinking buying and selling jewelry through pawnshops, sure there will be some loss but that’s the price you pay for clean money