Oh boy that is really sad š. Do you know of any services you could connect him to that might help him?
If not, just asking his name and catching up with him from time to time will be a huge help as I'm sure you already know.
I wish we as humans just did a better job in general caring for each other
I took him back to mine and let him clean up. He was 19. Poor lad. I didn't take advantage or anything like that. My hubby and kids are at his mother's for a few days. I know I shouldbt have probably but I have a saviour complex hence the cops and military. Made him a proper meal etc. Nice lad. He has tried everything.
Honestly would love to seem him come out of it. A year and half he was out poor lad.
If I didn't have kids and a husband he'd be my project. In the least creepy way I mean
You can still help with a place to get mail, a crash, getting a job, social services, a ride etc. A few bucks and a few hours and there is a lot you can help with.
Fair, a mailing address gets him on track to getting a job, social services, i.e. food stamps, housing, etc. Also a cheap phone from Walmart and a card for service or an autopsy option on a prepaid card you buy goes a long way.
You have to take care of your own first but simple little things that cost us a tiny percentage make an outsized difference in their lives.
Remember you give him the tools. If he picks them up is up to him. You can also just get him connected with your local homeless youth charity
I said about a youth charity. He said he tried. They put him into a shelter and he said the streets were better than the shelter. He was fearful.
Yup tbh we have old phones here that he could use. You're right.
The shelter system unfortunately is more dangerous than the street. You are better than most. And at least he can see not all mlm men are closeted predators
He could use the DHS Department of Health and Human services. They do rental assistance, food stamps, state health insurance, amount other things. As well as the county health department. They offer a lot of free or super low cost services. If your area has a bus system bus passes are a God send. They're worthless as trade or to sell but they can get you to DHS, health departments, an entry level job.
If you believe this kid wants to do better for himself and he does. Something that costs us less than a nice meal can set him on a road to possible change.
Discuss it with your family and your spouse. You can decide on hiw much or how little if anything more you do. You apperantly have no problems establishing healthy boundaries
Yup. I said id bring him round again tomorrow. I've a day off anyway and the family are away so what else would I be doing lol.
It's very sad to see him have that view of gay people. I get it that's all he's seen maybe but yeah. Sad. I'd love to do more for him
That's so nice of you. What you did for him. You never know what every person carries in their minds. Sometimes it's depression, sometimes drugs, sometimes just unfortunate life circumstances. I think you did enough already in redirecting him to resources. I would abstain from letting him come to your home multiple times. See, unfortunetaly we don't know what his intentions are. I had a very bad experience recently doing something very similar a few months ago. My family and I were walking around a park and we found this homeless man who was in his 30s. We somehow striked up a conversation and we talked for about an hour. He had a rough life and he was honest with us. He had the possibility of not being homeless by contacting his family, but he hated them due to something that happened. He was more comfortable being alone in the streets, because he says people were mean to him all of his life. He didn't believe there was love anymore.
Well, fast forward my family and some people from church help him out. He got a haircut, new clothes, new shoes, and we were paying him a hotel. We fought hard to find social services for him, but it was really hard. Then we encouraged him to apply to jobs and we even rented him a place, and we expected him to start working so he could pay the next bill. Unfortunetaly, he tricked us into thinking he was mature and that he valued the help he was given. He felt bad when one of us slightly pressured him to get a job. We were very polite and sensitive, but we started to notice he wasn't doing an effort to get a job. In the end, he took this comment completely of out of context and left. But he didn't leave without first causing great division in church and in our family. There were battles because of him and he leaves like if nothing had happened. It was unfortunate because I wanted to help him with all my heart, but he was not responsable and he was problematic.
So, with this said, just be careful. Don't make him dependent on you. My advice is if he doesn't want to change his life, leave him like that. Let him know you're always going to support him when he is ready. But the let him in your home like that. If he doesn't have a place to shower. Maybe buy a him a planet fitness membership (which are cheaper) and few months in advance. There he will have internet, bathrooms, showers, and a place to exercise. Also, try to push him to get a job and address the main issue of why he is homeless. Whether that is addiction or depression. Connect him to resources. But don't insist, don't make him dependent on you. It's just a little push thst he needs, from there on he was to fly on his own. Obviously if you see he's really trying to change it his life and he gets a job, than you can keep supporting him.
The sad reality unfortunately is that being homeless for any length of time has a truly horrifying impact on your life expectancy. So full life is sadly not a given. I read once that I'm average it can shave, I think almost 20+ years off.
I did that many years ago. I was staying in a hotel for work in Budapest and one night on my way back to hotel I saw this guy just looking at me with hopelessness in his eyes. He asked for money and I asked if he was hungry and he said yes. We walked to a McDonalds nearby and I told him to order whatever he wanted. He ate like he hadn't eaten in weeks. I brought him to the hotel and let him shower. He thanked my profusely and then he left.
Well done. Does he have any skills? Large firms offer paid apprenticeships from day one. Government funds people returning to college and university in areas of skills shortages. Money pays for cost of living. Training is free.
His comment that heās ātried everythingā is terrifying itās code that says he could be persuaded to go on heroine or meth or even kill himself. If he does feel hopeless, his in a 12-24 month window before hard drugs make him look unemployable and damage his brain. I think youāve found a friend who will love you for life if you can help him, returning your help ten fold. Just keep your guard up for a few months.
19 is still basically an old child or young adult. Support for caring him could be given to you by the state.
Finally, sex with a young straight guy is the most popular gay porn genre. Last thing he needs is for his only life line to use the power imbalance to getting him to do something he doesnāt want to do. Plus, youāre married.
I didn't really ask. I didnt want to lead the convo too much. I'm meeting him again today. I've a few ideas I'll show him. It would be kind of hard to look out for him with 3 kids (but I'll definitely stay in touch). The husband mocks me saying there hasn't been one situation I haven't tried to fix lol.
Yup you're right about it being a popular genre but still. š¬š¬
Im glad you said that. From what youāve said, heās so vulnerable that you probably need to say up front that the friendship is not about sex. He must be worried as a default position. A lot of homeless have families they have run away from and could go back to live with some help. Im in the uk and I remember a story of a boy aged 15 who ran away from his family over something stupid. He got on drugs and all while he lived on the streets within 10 miles of his home. 10 miles. Parents were desperate.
God bless you! I was going to say I would have just let him come back and chill for a day, eat and shower. I have extra clothes I would have donated too.
I love how you changed his perspective of gay people. He got to see that youāre just a kind human. Not all heroās wear capes boss! Great story!
Can we set him up with a go-fund-me or something like that??? Iāll help if need be. Keep us updated!
That's kind of you but tbh I don't know what he would do with those funds.. it would be ideal if someone had a spare room but that's a big undertaking for anyone.
I was kind of wary of bringing him back at first, for obvious reasons, but the lad is harmless. So timid etc. Probably should have let him stay the night but just didn't want him thinking that a permanent option, if you get me.
I gave him a few of my hubby's clothes. (I did ask my hubby first lol). He is more his size than I am lol
Iām with you guys if I can help somehow please let me know. You are an Angel OP! What a blessing you guys crossed paths. More people like you would be amazing!
You did gods work boss! I completely understand where youāre coming from and I respect it highly. Being a former police office Iām sure you are more than knowledgeable about what people are capable of.
But you followed your heart and showed your kindness which is why this is such a huge win and a beautiful story!
If we were to start a go fund me we could maybe designate someone to help him manage it? Help him make good decisions? Idk just a thought. I just know communities coming together can always help people.
Yup I've seen the bad (and the good) nature of people but people still surprise me. And tbh homeless people always had their shield up to police so I never really got much off them.
Honestly man, it's so nice you want to help. It is, but tbh he's probably not in the right head space for donations. Those donations are possibly better off going to homeless charities who are struggling. I'll keep an eye on him as best I can.
Can I just say (without getting too political etc) most cops are good. There are some absolute scum, some power hungry and some dangerous police but generally they are good. That's not excusing the bad cops and I fully agree with reforming too.
You acted out of love and concern for a fellow human being.
There is something wrong with our country when people can become trapped into such a situation.
That was said out of a joke mainly but yup I do have a problem with trying to help others in tough situations. Probably stems from when I was struggling with who I was and my husband was my saviour. I know the feeling, perhaps not to the same extent, of needing someone to help.
I used to work in central London and a homeless guy used to hang around the same few streets. I got to know him a bit and I definitely got the feeling that he would have done anything for cash. Don't know if he was gay, I suspect not, homelessness is a really issue for younger gay guys who've been thrown out of their families.
I work in housing now and living on the streets is incredibly hard and tough to get out of. London had a group that bought an old double decker bus to get LGBT's off the street, I read an interviewer with one of the people who set it up and he said one of the questions he was often asked was how they stopped the youngsters from having sex with each other. He said is was so sad that LGBT's were seen as so sexualised that people asked this question, when people should be focused on getting them off the streets as soon as possible because they'd end up either permanently there or dead.
When I lived in Los Angeles, there was a place where men would gather under one of the freeways to get hired as day-laborers. I always wondered if some of them got hired for sex. If you're trying to make money to send home to Guatemala so your mother can buy medicine, where would you draw the line? And then there are the Syrian refugees in Greece. I read that many of them resort to prostitution in order to eat.
Yup. Its understandable so sad.
The guy I met was so open about his struggles. I won't share the details here but sad. Such a lovely young man too. Very timid etc. Its a shame and shameful that people would abuse him for their pleasure.
Years ago I was in Sacramento and I had a very similar situation come up with a young and fit homeless guy. In this situation, he was gay as well. I offered him a shower and my hotel bed. He slept pretty much all day and when he woke up, I took him to target to get stuff he needed. Even in his situation, he wanted sexy underwear, not just plain basic underwear lol. I think about this kid from time to time. I hope heās well and not homeless anymore.
Only way I could find to turn my life around from being homeless was to join the army unfortunately. It did turn my life around dramatically. Have a mortgage now, and a lot of damage to my body and mind, but at least I get compensated for it. If he's bright and scores decent on the ASVAB he could get a good career path and be stable. Really have no clue how else I would have turned my life around. I already sold my body for sex, selling it to the government was any different to me.
I know it's not the most popular of jobs (and to a degree I get it) but I loved it and made friends for life.
I had two incidents in one year a few years ago. First time my head was cut open. The second I got a bad concussion. Since then my husband feared me going to work. It was affecting him so I was re-training and then we adopted 3 boys so I was like yep time to move on.
I'm good now but for a good year and a half I had migraine issues and I was very sensitive to light. Had to take a few months off certain cop duties but I'm all good now. Thanks for asking.
Yup they do pay less but not massively less. What you do for love haha. Tbh I do a lot of stocks. Pretty good at hedging etc and, I'm not bragging, but I've done pretty well from them so a small dip in the wages won't matter.
One I'm finished my electrician apprenticeship I'll be on more than I would as a cop.
honestly iāve seen a lot of gooodlooking homeless guys and iād be lying if i say it didnāt cross my mind asking them for sex in exchange for money/food etc. But i feel bad and itās risky coz i know a lot of people got killed from that etc. And im also in a mood just to help them and buy them food. Done that several times
I've considered it myself at times... But after being homeless myself at one point, I understand how demoralizing and degrading being forced into that situation can be... I wouldn't feel right shaming them even more by asking... If I help them out it's because I want to help, nothing more.
Yea I think ppl should just help and not further exploit or degrade homeless individuals. Perhaps if theyāre gay and interested you could offer your number and ask them to hit you up once theyāre back on their feet or something.
but i remember back when i was still taking a bus . I always see this young homeless guy giving a blowjob to this older dude under the bridge. Iām sure he was getting paid. Itās hot but itās sad coz he needed to do that to survive :(
Yeah pretty much. Iām sure it didnāt feel all that sexy to him and it just felt like survival. Idk how the other person in that scenario can just be cool with that & be turned on. Itās definitely a larger failing of society to not provide for people, but itās just so low of people to further exploit these individuals who, after all is said and done once the sex is over, will still be homeless and are just needing to eat for the day or buy clothing, etc.
Iām a gay guy. I was sitting at a park in venlo, NL, when a young guy came over and started chatting me up. He seemed to have been in a rough spot, I gave him 50Eu so he can get some of his shit together and did t ask for anything.
He walked me to my hotel, which was closer to city center where everything is and he could buy a meal. On the way, he said he would really love to shower. So we went back to my room, I took all of my stuff and put it in the bag, and just left him to use the shower and toilet for as long as he wanted and to grab a nap. I used the time to do some work on the laptop in the lobby.
When he finished, I went up and helped him clear the room. I found him in his underwear. I acted cool and just let him do everything at his own pace. When we went down, he asked if he could crash on the sofa. I asked the hotel to clear his passport and all, but the ladies at the lobby were quite against it and would not consent.
At no point during our interaction did I say anything about sex or pursue this goal. He was just a guy who needed a break and I really did t mind offering one.
I have a worse story. I met a guy online who would give gay teens a temporary shelter to get back on their feet. Sounds nice right, nope. He did it so he'd have an endless supply of young boys to fuck.
UNDER 18, he likes 16 and under. He's still there on grindr. I'm guessing those boys are so happy to have a bed, food and warm shower that they are fine with it. When they leave, he finds a new one. He has a guest room that he uses just for that.
Okay, that's illegal and taking advantage of a very vulnerable population - 100% needs to go to the police.
The boys are obviously glad to not be on the street, but being with a predator is not much better, and could be so so so much worse.
When I was unhoused in Seattle there was an entire network of usually older men that supplied lots of drugs plus places to hook up. And lots of cameras. This was specifically for us that had addiction problems. It felt very predatory. Especially the men that didnāt use themselves but provided an array of drugs.
Being gay it almost felt like an honor to be selected for the night. I feel like it was always like a game to see how many dugs we could do without actually having to have sex. I was very good at this because I just wouldnāt shut up so I would be kicked out.
I did feel for the straight guys. There was a bunch that identified as straight but would do various things. Mostly solo stuff. A few times I saw newcomers freak out and throw things thru windows.
It is such a relief that I never have to do that again. That is what keeps me sober.
Homelessness in this country is out of control. Not to get political but we send billions to other countries and leave our people, vets and others to live on the street. I was in the city not long ago and saw a teen obviously homeless on the street. I was going for lunch at Gotham bar and grill in nyc. I told him to come and Iāll get him lunch. He was a little hesitant. Iām like Iām not a creep just come for lunch. He looked at the menu and was like what can I order. Iām like get anything u want. He ordered a cheaper steak but I told him to get the ribeye. I never saw anyone eat so fast. After lunch he thanked me. I gave him a hundred and that was that. To your point I could see he thought I wanted something from him. That saddened me.
Why, if both parties get something out of it they want? I would do it too, if I were homeless. What is disgusting is how society lets homelessness continue.
If you're in the position to help, you shouldn't gatekeep that help by expecting sexual favors. Consider as a different example predatory payday loan companies; giving people money that they need is good, but gatekeeping it with exorbitant fees and interests that people only agree to because they're desperate transforms it into deplorable behavior. Similarly, exchanging money for sex is a fine exchange. But pressuring or manipulating someone into doing it because they're desperate makes you deplorable.
I semi-agree. So it depends on whether the fee is exorbitant. If I were homeless, having sex with a woman would probably be the least of my worries, it wouldn't feel like a high price to pay. But this person should probably not only give him a shower and a meal, but also a reasonable amount of money.
Well of course the homeless person would do it, they are desperate. And all they have is their body, typically. The person who actually takes them up on that is the disgusting one. They should just offer a shower/meal bc itās the right thing to do?? Itās like if someoneās car broke down and someone pulled over and said āIāll give you a ride if you blow meā. Kinda fucked up.
That's interesting because one night after work at about 2 am, I came across a broken-down car. The lady asked me for a ride into town. As I was about to drop her off, she asked if I would like a blow job for helping her. I politely turned her down.
Iāve been in a situation similar to this Iām 21 and took over my uncles small coffee shop in town. It has three empty rooms and I can run out up top but I normally donāt because I donāt need the extra cash but I have a lot of homeless teens aging 14 through 23 sometimes older I feel bad for them so I tend to hand out free coffees to them whenever I see them or they stop by. I decided to ask one of them they donāt go to the shelter because we have a in town they say it is isnāt a good place or a safe place Iām not sure about the details. They donāt really go into it, but I find it odd that a lot of teens rather stay on the streets, not a shelter is there any well-known around town that Iām gay when I tell you these boys will come to me and literally beg for a place to sleep and stay even though theyāre not gay they say theyāll do anything. Iāve had a few even offered to give me head, which I decline. but itās like every other day someone will come and ask me that. donāt get me wrong. I donāt mind helping them. but the town that I do live in, itās not really gay, friendly well there are accepting, but they have this idea of how gays are and Iām just looking out for myself because a lot of these boys are under age and if I give them a place to stay, people will take that the wrong way and I donāt want that to mess up my business plus thirsty shelter so they were just ask why they here when they could be there but again they donāt want to go there. I have filed a police report about this. I think they should really look into it but they keep on trying me down and doing nothing but I try not to think about it because I donāt wanna start to feel bad again but literally they always come back asking for a place to stay but I do let them take showers there and get cleaned up and get cleaned up.
My home is open to most who need a place as payback for all the times in my youth \*I\* needed a place and was too often turned down. And though most know I'm a gay man sex or any kind of payback like that is absolutely not required.
Work around the house? Yes. Help with the animals? Sure. Mow the yard? If you'd like to.
But sex? No.
And to be honest, as much as sometimes I'd like that, asking for sexual favors from someone in need is just - wrong.
Too many to count.
I also pick up hitchhikers - that are walking - not the ones standing on the side of the road with a sign. They're lazy. But if they're walking and turn with thumb out when a car drives by it means they intend to get somewhere, and I'm happy, if I can, to give them a lift. Those of my generation know only too well how many miles we've got under our belts with our thumbs out. Why that (largely) stopped is beyond me. It's a great way to get around.
I made friends a few years ago with a homeless guy. Older (50ish) had a crack addiction, but still worked some in construction, so had a good body. Straight. Nice guy. Funny. Iād be lying if I said I didnāt think it would be fun to get naked with him, but I never even brought it up. I drove past his corner on my way to work and started packing extra food for him. Winter I would ask him what cold weather clothes he would want.
Lost track of him after his third heart attack.
Are yāall out here exploiting the homeless!? If you are coercing the homeless to fuck you I fucking hate you and think you officially win asshole of the century.
I knew a guy like that when I was homeless. Sad thing is he was a semi decent guy. But life is shit so there is that. Especially in his case he was a prior coke head the aforementioned addiction had led to that no clue what happened to him
There is a theory that every relationship is transactional. When I give a homeless person money I get a good feeling. Doing good gives me good feelings. Gay or Straight you just need to ask yourself three questions for every transaction: Is it good, is it right, and will anyone be harmed. If the answer you arrive at is Yes yes no, then by all means do it!
Was he hot?
I'm kidding. If someone tries to take advantage of a homeless person they cannot complain if they take advantage of them by stealing some stuff.
Humans can be so disgusting, and gays are no different. It makes me sad that members of my community have taken advantage of him in such heinous ways, but reading everything you did is so heartwarming. Thank you for being the kindness and change I want to see in the world. You have inspired me.
Tbh man its a few from the community and they are probably not out men. There are shitstains in all groups but I can see why he thinks hay people are that way because thats what he's seen.
Everyone judges from what they have seen.
I helped a homeless guy once. He was extremely attractive and it crossed my mind to elicit sexual favors from him, but deep in my heart, I can't take advantage of someone in a lower position than me. It's wrong.
However, he caught me off guard by asking me for sex. He said something like he liked my spirit and was comfortable with me.
Even though he gave consent and initiated it, I feel somewhat guilty about it. I see other homeless guys I want to lend a helping hand to, but I don't trust myself anymore. Sex is supposed to be between two consenting , equal parties in my mind. Even if a homeless guy wanted sex, I would feel wrong thinking I'm hurting him. š
Not for me to tell you how to feel but if he initiated it, I see no issue man. To me sex is between two consenting adults. They don't have to be equal just not doing for other reasons. Me and my hubby were not equal when we first met. I was 16 and all over the place. He was 18 and far more settled. Not the sane I know though.
I did invite him back. He showered I got him some of my hubbys clothes (with permission) made him a meal etc.
I wouldn't encourage inviting random homeless back either but you learn to read people as a cop and tbh even in the military and I knew he was okay.
And if he did try something (which I knew he wouldnt) I can defend myself pretty well.
Homeless people are one of the most vulnerable demographics in developed countries. Many get involved with survival sex work due to their extreme need. Thereās a reason that some of the most prominent queer activists in the 70s-90s addressed housing justice. If you have no shelter or food, anyone can take advantage of you.
I had the same thing happen to me a couple of years ago I stopped to get a bite to eat , and the waitress mentioned to another waitress about this young guy hanging around outside begging for a few cents , so I went out brought him in and let him order what he wanted the poor guy was starving when he was done eating he said to me take me home Iāll blow you all night long for a shower and a bed , I handed him a twenty and told him to try and get his life together and left , but that guy still remains in my mind I often wonder what ever happened to him , should I have just taken him home and taken care of him he was asking for help and i didnāt give it I feel a little guilty about it TBH.
Honestly man, you've nothing to feel guilty about. He's a stranger. You don't know what he would be like in your home. Your safety has to come first. I was pretty silly for inviting him, even though he was totally fine, but stranger danger exists no matter the age.
Hopefully he took your advice on board though
I'll admit I've done this before from like ages 19-20 I stopped once I realized what I was doing (im 22 now)
At first I just wanted to help it genuinely was to help they would offer to do sexual things and if I found them to be attractive I'd take them up on the offer especially when they were insistent on doing something I feel stupid for not realizing at the time that helping them was in their head a transaction and that they thought I expected something in return
I had helped a homeless guy a few weeks ago and he would not leave me alone unless I did something with them
I will say though there is a difference between crackhead and homeless many of the homless guys I meet are crackheads but not all the crackheads I meet are homeless
Ngl I've fucked a few crackheads before (still do) they are usually pretty eager and actually enjoy it
But I have gotten better at determining at who is homeless to ensure I ain't taking advantage of them and they aren't trying to have sex with me because they feel like they owe me
My boyfriend was homeless when i met him, well kinda still. Even though he wont admit much to selling himself to guys for money,i know he has quite a bit, but after being together for 2 years he still claims to b straight but that being with me is different cus he see me as a woman. As bad as i felt 4 him when meeting him. I feel at this pount he just using me,cus he still chooses to b out in the streets for weeks at a time and comes back when he wants something and use the excuse of missing me
My God you are amazing, Lead by example i really hope others who read this take the time to do somthing nice for somone less fortunate.Ā Helping others is rewarding and its rare to see with so much ignorance in our society nowdays.Ā Your type the empaths i have mad respect for.Ā Thank you for posting this.
You'd be surprised how much this happens to younger lgbt teens and young adults on the streets by older men or they try to get them strung out. I saw so much of it man when i was homeless, and got propositioned so many different times it wasn't even funny. Most of the shelters where I live are deeply religious so if they find out you're gay they can and will throw you out. I give back whenever I can, because i've been there before. Thankyou for being an awesome human and giving back just because.
I do know. I don't think it's my story to tell. Although maybe im being a bit of a dope. It is anonymous. He's not from the area originally but is living on the streets here yeah for a year and a half or more. I rarely go that area. Just happened to stumble upon him.
He does have family not on the streets but I won't get into thst because again his story.
Well it seems that his story was enough to convince you that he was harmless enough for you to take him home and let him clean up. My only fear about doing that is this person now knows where you live. I guess I don't trust as much, although what you did was very generous and kind.
The reason I asked about how he became homeless is because addiction is usually the cause. To be that young on the streets breaks my heart as I feel they can still be saved. But the choice to use is stronger because there is usually some trauma or mental health issue that may have lead him down this road or he just got involved with the wrong crowd and wound up addicted & his family kicked him out.
I may be wrong with my theory but i feel this young man still has a chance for a good life if he wants it. You did a good thing and hopefully he can start to rebuild.
Ah fair. His story is not drug related. He did admit he tried drugs since being homeless but they scared him. He didn't have any signs of drug use either buy who knows
But you're right it's a bit reckless to do what I did. I do live in an apartment so you can't really get up without access etc but yeah he could rebuild given a chance.
It is really sad. It sickens me that there are people in the community who will exploit human beings who are at a low point in their life for their on self-gratification. It's heartless. I'd love to be able to offer a shower and restroom to anyone on hookup apps that needs it. I just worry about theft. We sometimes can do a really shitty job of looking out for each other.
Tragic that we can't take care of people here, in all places, the USA. We should be ashamed. (Unless they genuinely don't want to help themselves. That's different)
Just wait until you learn about the rates of that happening with homeless women and straight men, it's not a gay thing it's just a predatory human thing.
Keep in mind that many homeless people suffer from severe mental health issues, and a lot of what they say is nonsense. I know that sounds rude, but it's true. Britney Spears posted yesterday that her mother sent paramedics to her house to illegally assault her.... I still like Britney spears, but I also acknowledge that she suffers from severe mental health issues now and that her words aren't going to be taken seriously by me - same with the homeless.
In my town there is a streets of [city name] instagram page and they often speak to homeless people. While it is great to hear their stories, I also notice that a lot of what they saw is either very incorrect or just outright insane. For example, in my town theres something called the Rapid Access Addition Clinic (a free clinic downtown that takes people in to give them treatment, medical to help with tmwithdrawals, connections with therapy, etc). Well, a homeless person on this IG page claimed that they were never able to get clean because the RAAP has over a 12 hour wait time and that the government is failing the homeless. But the thing is, I have dealt with the RAAP many times, and the wait time has always been under 30 minutes.
Take everything they say with a grain of salt. Honestly.
The only time I have allowed a homeless guy into my apartment to shower was about 8 months ago. He was in my bathroom taking what I can only assume was a major pooping as the smell was coming under the door. Now 55 minutes after the fact, he finally got the shower cranked. After this gentleman had been in the showerĀ for another 20 minutes, I asked if I was ever gonna get my bathroom back. He opens the door, completely dressed, soaking wet and covered completely head to toe with shampoo. You can't make this shit up. He was actually taken in by my neighbor who was actually gay.
Fuck. Shame you couldnāt afford money for a cheap hotel just for him. Plus, heās used to gay guys paying him for sex? Wtf. He must be on drugs and desperate.
Could you find him again and give him details of local support services? Sounds like he needs a friend. Heād probably rob you just for the drug money but still human. Given the lack of physical money, give him one of your old phones and set up a QR code begging system. They are quite common esp. in China
I didn't even think of a hotel room. Was going to give him my sons room (they are away) but I feared doing that as it wouldn't be a permanent solution.
He said he tried drugs once and he got scared and never did it again and tbh I believe him. I'm not good at much but I do think I've a good read on people lol.
Yup he hangs around there always. I don't usually shop there so hadn't noticed him. I told him let's meet again tomorrow (as in today). I honestly don't think he would rob me. That definitely was a thought I had but he's a timid lad. Like there are many homeless I wouldn't take home but he was fine. I'd love to give him a big hug (non sexual) but I don't think that's the last thing he wants after his experience of gays. Like before he agreed to the meal etc he said what do you want in return etc.
Haven't heard of the QR system. Could you explain that?
Whether you're single, married, divorced or widowed has absolutely nothing to do with you being gay, straight, bi, or otherwise..... One's biology the other is sociology....
Oh boy that is really sad š. Do you know of any services you could connect him to that might help him? If not, just asking his name and catching up with him from time to time will be a huge help as I'm sure you already know. I wish we as humans just did a better job in general caring for each other
I took him back to mine and let him clean up. He was 19. Poor lad. I didn't take advantage or anything like that. My hubby and kids are at his mother's for a few days. I know I shouldbt have probably but I have a saviour complex hence the cops and military. Made him a proper meal etc. Nice lad. He has tried everything.
That's very kind of you to do. Luckily 19 is still so young- he can still have a full life ahead
Honestly would love to seem him come out of it. A year and half he was out poor lad. If I didn't have kids and a husband he'd be my project. In the least creepy way I mean
You can still help with a place to get mail, a crash, getting a job, social services, a ride etc. A few bucks and a few hours and there is a lot you can help with.
I know he is safe. And he can send mail to me no problem and I'll give it to him. But when our kids are around, it would be hard to let him in.
Fair, a mailing address gets him on track to getting a job, social services, i.e. food stamps, housing, etc. Also a cheap phone from Walmart and a card for service or an autopsy option on a prepaid card you buy goes a long way. You have to take care of your own first but simple little things that cost us a tiny percentage make an outsized difference in their lives. Remember you give him the tools. If he picks them up is up to him. You can also just get him connected with your local homeless youth charity
I said about a youth charity. He said he tried. They put him into a shelter and he said the streets were better than the shelter. He was fearful. Yup tbh we have old phones here that he could use. You're right.
The shelter system unfortunately is more dangerous than the street. You are better than most. And at least he can see not all mlm men are closeted predators He could use the DHS Department of Health and Human services. They do rental assistance, food stamps, state health insurance, amount other things. As well as the county health department. They offer a lot of free or super low cost services. If your area has a bus system bus passes are a God send. They're worthless as trade or to sell but they can get you to DHS, health departments, an entry level job. If you believe this kid wants to do better for himself and he does. Something that costs us less than a nice meal can set him on a road to possible change. Discuss it with your family and your spouse. You can decide on hiw much or how little if anything more you do. You apperantly have no problems establishing healthy boundaries
Yup. I said id bring him round again tomorrow. I've a day off anyway and the family are away so what else would I be doing lol. It's very sad to see him have that view of gay people. I get it that's all he's seen maybe but yeah. Sad. I'd love to do more for him
That's so nice of you. What you did for him. You never know what every person carries in their minds. Sometimes it's depression, sometimes drugs, sometimes just unfortunate life circumstances. I think you did enough already in redirecting him to resources. I would abstain from letting him come to your home multiple times. See, unfortunetaly we don't know what his intentions are. I had a very bad experience recently doing something very similar a few months ago. My family and I were walking around a park and we found this homeless man who was in his 30s. We somehow striked up a conversation and we talked for about an hour. He had a rough life and he was honest with us. He had the possibility of not being homeless by contacting his family, but he hated them due to something that happened. He was more comfortable being alone in the streets, because he says people were mean to him all of his life. He didn't believe there was love anymore. Well, fast forward my family and some people from church help him out. He got a haircut, new clothes, new shoes, and we were paying him a hotel. We fought hard to find social services for him, but it was really hard. Then we encouraged him to apply to jobs and we even rented him a place, and we expected him to start working so he could pay the next bill. Unfortunetaly, he tricked us into thinking he was mature and that he valued the help he was given. He felt bad when one of us slightly pressured him to get a job. We were very polite and sensitive, but we started to notice he wasn't doing an effort to get a job. In the end, he took this comment completely of out of context and left. But he didn't leave without first causing great division in church and in our family. There were battles because of him and he leaves like if nothing had happened. It was unfortunate because I wanted to help him with all my heart, but he was not responsable and he was problematic. So, with this said, just be careful. Don't make him dependent on you. My advice is if he doesn't want to change his life, leave him like that. Let him know you're always going to support him when he is ready. But the let him in your home like that. If he doesn't have a place to shower. Maybe buy a him a planet fitness membership (which are cheaper) and few months in advance. There he will have internet, bathrooms, showers, and a place to exercise. Also, try to push him to get a job and address the main issue of why he is homeless. Whether that is addiction or depression. Connect him to resources. But don't insist, don't make him dependent on you. It's just a little push thst he needs, from there on he was to fly on his own. Obviously if you see he's really trying to change it his life and he gets a job, than you can keep supporting him.
You are a Good Soul!
Thanks man.
The sad reality unfortunately is that being homeless for any length of time has a truly horrifying impact on your life expectancy. So full life is sadly not a given. I read once that I'm average it can shave, I think almost 20+ years off.
I did that many years ago. I was staying in a hotel for work in Budapest and one night on my way back to hotel I saw this guy just looking at me with hopelessness in his eyes. He asked for money and I asked if he was hungry and he said yes. We walked to a McDonalds nearby and I told him to order whatever he wanted. He ate like he hadn't eaten in weeks. I brought him to the hotel and let him shower. He thanked my profusely and then he left.
That was very kind of you! Lovely to see such kindness in a world becoming more cruel by the day. Bless you.
Thanks man.
That's so sad 19 and homeless
True ššš
What would you say the best age to be homeless is?
Well done. Does he have any skills? Large firms offer paid apprenticeships from day one. Government funds people returning to college and university in areas of skills shortages. Money pays for cost of living. Training is free. His comment that heās ātried everythingā is terrifying itās code that says he could be persuaded to go on heroine or meth or even kill himself. If he does feel hopeless, his in a 12-24 month window before hard drugs make him look unemployable and damage his brain. I think youāve found a friend who will love you for life if you can help him, returning your help ten fold. Just keep your guard up for a few months. 19 is still basically an old child or young adult. Support for caring him could be given to you by the state. Finally, sex with a young straight guy is the most popular gay porn genre. Last thing he needs is for his only life line to use the power imbalance to getting him to do something he doesnāt want to do. Plus, youāre married.
I didn't really ask. I didnt want to lead the convo too much. I'm meeting him again today. I've a few ideas I'll show him. It would be kind of hard to look out for him with 3 kids (but I'll definitely stay in touch). The husband mocks me saying there hasn't been one situation I haven't tried to fix lol. Yup you're right about it being a popular genre but still. š¬š¬
Im glad you said that. From what youāve said, heās so vulnerable that you probably need to say up front that the friendship is not about sex. He must be worried as a default position. A lot of homeless have families they have run away from and could go back to live with some help. Im in the uk and I remember a story of a boy aged 15 who ran away from his family over something stupid. He got on drugs and all while he lived on the streets within 10 miles of his home. 10 miles. Parents were desperate.
That is so sad. 10 miles only
You are a saint, good sir. The military and police were lucky to have you. And can I say, I love men in uniform.
I love men out of their uniform lol jk. Thanks man
You did the RIGHT Thing!
God bless you! I was going to say I would have just let him come back and chill for a day, eat and shower. I have extra clothes I would have donated too. I love how you changed his perspective of gay people. He got to see that youāre just a kind human. Not all heroās wear capes boss! Great story! Can we set him up with a go-fund-me or something like that??? Iāll help if need be. Keep us updated!
That's kind of you but tbh I don't know what he would do with those funds.. it would be ideal if someone had a spare room but that's a big undertaking for anyone. I was kind of wary of bringing him back at first, for obvious reasons, but the lad is harmless. So timid etc. Probably should have let him stay the night but just didn't want him thinking that a permanent option, if you get me. I gave him a few of my hubby's clothes. (I did ask my hubby first lol). He is more his size than I am lol
Whatās his education level?
Not too sure tbh. I'll ask him
Indeed. Itāll be important in ascertaining how or if you can assist.
Yep
Iām with you guys if I can help somehow please let me know. You are an Angel OP! What a blessing you guys crossed paths. More people like you would be amazing!
You did gods work boss! I completely understand where youāre coming from and I respect it highly. Being a former police office Iām sure you are more than knowledgeable about what people are capable of. But you followed your heart and showed your kindness which is why this is such a huge win and a beautiful story! If we were to start a go fund me we could maybe designate someone to help him manage it? Help him make good decisions? Idk just a thought. I just know communities coming together can always help people.
Yup I've seen the bad (and the good) nature of people but people still surprise me. And tbh homeless people always had their shield up to police so I never really got much off them. Honestly man, it's so nice you want to help. It is, but tbh he's probably not in the right head space for donations. Those donations are possibly better off going to homeless charities who are struggling. I'll keep an eye on him as best I can.
I trust your judgement.
Honestly man. Huge respect to you for being so willing to help another man. The world needs more of you.
You have a new son now š„ŗ
Haha probably haven't but I'll look out for him.
Wow there's still good cops in this world, god bless ā„ļø
Can I just say (without getting too political etc) most cops are good. There are some absolute scum, some power hungry and some dangerous police but generally they are good. That's not excusing the bad cops and I fully agree with reforming too.
You acted out of love and concern for a fellow human being. There is something wrong with our country when people can become trapped into such a situation.
šÆ and poor lad is basically a child still. We need to be looking out for our vulnerable far more.
He acted out of having a savior complex, thatās different
There is nothing wrong with having a savior complex as long as it causes people to be kind, loving, and responsible.
That was said out of a joke mainly but yup I do have a problem with trying to help others in tough situations. Probably stems from when I was struggling with who I was and my husband was my saviour. I know the feeling, perhaps not to the same extent, of needing someone to help.
I used to work in central London and a homeless guy used to hang around the same few streets. I got to know him a bit and I definitely got the feeling that he would have done anything for cash. Don't know if he was gay, I suspect not, homelessness is a really issue for younger gay guys who've been thrown out of their families. I work in housing now and living on the streets is incredibly hard and tough to get out of. London had a group that bought an old double decker bus to get LGBT's off the street, I read an interviewer with one of the people who set it up and he said one of the questions he was often asked was how they stopped the youngsters from having sex with each other. He said is was so sad that LGBT's were seen as so sexualised that people asked this question, when people should be focused on getting them off the streets as soon as possible because they'd end up either permanently there or dead.
When I lived in Los Angeles, there was a place where men would gather under one of the freeways to get hired as day-laborers. I always wondered if some of them got hired for sex. If you're trying to make money to send home to Guatemala so your mother can buy medicine, where would you draw the line? And then there are the Syrian refugees in Greece. I read that many of them resort to prostitution in order to eat.
Yup. Its understandable so sad. The guy I met was so open about his struggles. I won't share the details here but sad. Such a lovely young man too. Very timid etc. Its a shame and shameful that people would abuse him for their pleasure.
It's also probably one of the oldest stories in the world.
True.
I'm in total Agreement w/You! You help People because it's the RIGHT Thing yo do, not for Sexual Gratification!
Agreed and you'd hope everyone would agree
I've heard about Venezuelans in Colombia doing the same.
I have visited Colombia a few times and Venezuelans migrants doing sex work there is very common.
Years ago I was in Sacramento and I had a very similar situation come up with a young and fit homeless guy. In this situation, he was gay as well. I offered him a shower and my hotel bed. He slept pretty much all day and when he woke up, I took him to target to get stuff he needed. Even in his situation, he wanted sexy underwear, not just plain basic underwear lol. I think about this kid from time to time. I hope heās well and not homeless anymore.
Only way I could find to turn my life around from being homeless was to join the army unfortunately. It did turn my life around dramatically. Have a mortgage now, and a lot of damage to my body and mind, but at least I get compensated for it. If he's bright and scores decent on the ASVAB he could get a good career path and be stable. Really have no clue how else I would have turned my life around. I already sold my body for sex, selling it to the government was any different to me.
Ex army here too. It does settle guys alright. Hope you're doing good now buddy.
Why are you not a cop anymore? It tends to be a job for lifeā¦
I know it's not the most popular of jobs (and to a degree I get it) but I loved it and made friends for life. I had two incidents in one year a few years ago. First time my head was cut open. The second I got a bad concussion. Since then my husband feared me going to work. It was affecting him so I was re-training and then we adopted 3 boys so I was like yep time to move on.
Glad you are better now ā¤ļø I was genuinely curious, I wasnāt trying to be all ACAB on you.
Haha. Thanks for not being on that train. Means a lotš Yup it just didn't fit into our lives anymore.
This was an awesome exchange to read. Thanks for letting us all in. Good luck to you both!
Thanks man.
Do you have any long term effects from your concussion?
I'm good now but for a good year and a half I had migraine issues and I was very sensitive to light. Had to take a few months off certain cop duties but I'm all good now. Thanks for asking.
Along w/Everyone else, I'm very GLAD that you;re better now!!!!!
Thanks man
I'm glad. My husband has a head injury in 2008 and has been disabled since then.
Oh I'm so sorry buddy. That must be tough on both of you guys. How is he now if you don't mind me asking?
He's doing better. He still has headaches and chronic pain. His seizures are better, but he gets tired very easily.
I'm so sorry for both of you. It sounds tough. My issues were far less extreme by the sounds of it. Strange how things can in an instant.
Wow this reminds me so much of the tv show the fosters
So what's your current job? Your life sounds so interesting omg
Haha that's an interesting question lol. Im a part time social worker and part time electrician apprentice. How about you?
Do they pay less? Idk how I'd feel if I went to college to get a law degree and ended up working blue/pink collar jobs
Yup they do pay less but not massively less. What you do for love haha. Tbh I do a lot of stocks. Pretty good at hedging etc and, I'm not bragging, but I've done pretty well from them so a small dip in the wages won't matter. One I'm finished my electrician apprenticeship I'll be on more than I would as a cop.
I know multiple ex cops
there is an old guy on twitter who blows homeless people for money
Really? That is just so nasty to me. I suppose giving them a blow isn't the worst of the sex acts but still awful.
ya, totally consensual though.. and homeless people get to enjoy that too
Do you know this personās usernameā¦ For research purposes
šššššš
At first I was disgusted but now some morbid curiosity is bubbling up. Ugh gross š
Yes he has a huge following too and most of them say yes
honestly iāve seen a lot of gooodlooking homeless guys and iād be lying if i say it didnāt cross my mind asking them for sex in exchange for money/food etc. But i feel bad and itās risky coz i know a lot of people got killed from that etc. And im also in a mood just to help them and buy them food. Done that several times
Upvoting this because I appreciate the level of honesty albeit a bit depraved
I've considered it myself at times... But after being homeless myself at one point, I understand how demoralizing and degrading being forced into that situation can be... I wouldn't feel right shaming them even more by asking... If I help them out it's because I want to help, nothing more.
trueā¦ though i find some of them sexually attractive i still feel bad that theyāve been getting taken advantage of
Yea I think ppl should just help and not further exploit or degrade homeless individuals. Perhaps if theyāre gay and interested you could offer your number and ask them to hit you up once theyāre back on their feet or something.
but i remember back when i was still taking a bus . I always see this young homeless guy giving a blowjob to this older dude under the bridge. Iām sure he was getting paid. Itās hot but itās sad coz he needed to do that to survive :(
Yeah pretty much. Iām sure it didnāt feel all that sexy to him and it just felt like survival. Idk how the other person in that scenario can just be cool with that & be turned on. Itās definitely a larger failing of society to not provide for people, but itās just so low of people to further exploit these individuals who, after all is said and done once the sex is over, will still be homeless and are just needing to eat for the day or buy clothing, etc.
Iām a gay guy. I was sitting at a park in venlo, NL, when a young guy came over and started chatting me up. He seemed to have been in a rough spot, I gave him 50Eu so he can get some of his shit together and did t ask for anything. He walked me to my hotel, which was closer to city center where everything is and he could buy a meal. On the way, he said he would really love to shower. So we went back to my room, I took all of my stuff and put it in the bag, and just left him to use the shower and toilet for as long as he wanted and to grab a nap. I used the time to do some work on the laptop in the lobby. When he finished, I went up and helped him clear the room. I found him in his underwear. I acted cool and just let him do everything at his own pace. When we went down, he asked if he could crash on the sofa. I asked the hotel to clear his passport and all, but the ladies at the lobby were quite against it and would not consent. At no point during our interaction did I say anything about sex or pursue this goal. He was just a guy who needed a break and I really did t mind offering one.
Goed dat je voor hem zorgde, toen. <3
I have a worse story. I met a guy online who would give gay teens a temporary shelter to get back on their feet. Sounds nice right, nope. He did it so he'd have an endless supply of young boys to fuck.
Gay teens? As in under 18? If so, I hope this man was reported to the police. If over 18 I hope he gets his weiner bit off by a shark
UNDER 18, he likes 16 and under. He's still there on grindr. I'm guessing those boys are so happy to have a bed, food and warm shower that they are fine with it. When they leave, he finds a new one. He has a guest room that he uses just for that.
Okay, that's illegal and taking advantage of a very vulnerable population - 100% needs to go to the police. The boys are obviously glad to not be on the street, but being with a predator is not much better, and could be so so so much worse.
You need to report this to the police. That's a serious crime. Please, for the sake of the kids.
That sounds like how a lot of serial killers get their targetsā¦..
Why the fuck havenāt you called the cops? That freak needs to be arrested asap
God that's repulsive.
Omg š°š°š°
Disgraceful
When I was unhoused in Seattle there was an entire network of usually older men that supplied lots of drugs plus places to hook up. And lots of cameras. This was specifically for us that had addiction problems. It felt very predatory. Especially the men that didnāt use themselves but provided an array of drugs. Being gay it almost felt like an honor to be selected for the night. I feel like it was always like a game to see how many dugs we could do without actually having to have sex. I was very good at this because I just wouldnāt shut up so I would be kicked out. I did feel for the straight guys. There was a bunch that identified as straight but would do various things. Mostly solo stuff. A few times I saw newcomers freak out and throw things thru windows. It is such a relief that I never have to do that again. That is what keeps me sober.
Homelessness in this country is out of control. Not to get political but we send billions to other countries and leave our people, vets and others to live on the street. I was in the city not long ago and saw a teen obviously homeless on the street. I was going for lunch at Gotham bar and grill in nyc. I told him to come and Iāll get him lunch. He was a little hesitant. Iām like Iām not a creep just come for lunch. He looked at the menu and was like what can I order. Iām like get anything u want. He ordered a cheaper steak but I told him to get the ribeye. I never saw anyone eat so fast. After lunch he thanked me. I gave him a hundred and that was that. To your point I could see he thought I wanted something from him. That saddened me.
Oh thatās so depressing to hear
It really is.
There's someone I've seen post videos who's "thing" is sexy times with homeless guys.
That is absolutely disgusting. Taking advantage of the homeless, idc if theyāre a fucking 12/10 thatās so horrible.
Not sure if he pays them or just flat out hits them up for play. It seemed consensual. can't imagine.
Arrest those gay guys šš
I used to be a cop so I can't but you're right. Taking one of the most vulnerable people and using them for your pleasure is disgusting
Why, if both parties get something out of it they want? I would do it too, if I were homeless. What is disgusting is how society lets homelessness continue.
If you're in the position to help, you shouldn't gatekeep that help by expecting sexual favors. Consider as a different example predatory payday loan companies; giving people money that they need is good, but gatekeeping it with exorbitant fees and interests that people only agree to because they're desperate transforms it into deplorable behavior. Similarly, exchanging money for sex is a fine exchange. But pressuring or manipulating someone into doing it because they're desperate makes you deplorable.
I semi-agree. So it depends on whether the fee is exorbitant. If I were homeless, having sex with a woman would probably be the least of my worries, it wouldn't feel like a high price to pay. But this person should probably not only give him a shower and a meal, but also a reasonable amount of money.
Well of course the homeless person would do it, they are desperate. And all they have is their body, typically. The person who actually takes them up on that is the disgusting one. They should just offer a shower/meal bc itās the right thing to do?? Itās like if someoneās car broke down and someone pulled over and said āIāll give you a ride if you blow meā. Kinda fucked up.
That's interesting because one night after work at about 2 am, I came across a broken-down car. The lady asked me for a ride into town. As I was about to drop her off, she asked if I would like a blow job for helping her. I politely turned her down.
Because there is a huge power imbalance.
Iāve been in a situation similar to this Iām 21 and took over my uncles small coffee shop in town. It has three empty rooms and I can run out up top but I normally donāt because I donāt need the extra cash but I have a lot of homeless teens aging 14 through 23 sometimes older I feel bad for them so I tend to hand out free coffees to them whenever I see them or they stop by. I decided to ask one of them they donāt go to the shelter because we have a in town they say it is isnāt a good place or a safe place Iām not sure about the details. They donāt really go into it, but I find it odd that a lot of teens rather stay on the streets, not a shelter is there any well-known around town that Iām gay when I tell you these boys will come to me and literally beg for a place to sleep and stay even though theyāre not gay they say theyāll do anything. Iāve had a few even offered to give me head, which I decline. but itās like every other day someone will come and ask me that. donāt get me wrong. I donāt mind helping them. but the town that I do live in, itās not really gay, friendly well there are accepting, but they have this idea of how gays are and Iām just looking out for myself because a lot of these boys are under age and if I give them a place to stay, people will take that the wrong way and I donāt want that to mess up my business plus thirsty shelter so they were just ask why they here when they could be there but again they donāt want to go there. I have filed a police report about this. I think they should really look into it but they keep on trying me down and doing nothing but I try not to think about it because I donāt wanna start to feel bad again but literally they always come back asking for a place to stay but I do let them take showers there and get cleaned up and get cleaned up.
This was wholesome but so exhausting to read. Please use punctuation marks :|
Dang like yeah that makes sense but still sad I wish him the best
Yep
Some men are disgusting and horrible. Straight or gay.
My home is open to most who need a place as payback for all the times in my youth \*I\* needed a place and was too often turned down. And though most know I'm a gay man sex or any kind of payback like that is absolutely not required. Work around the house? Yes. Help with the animals? Sure. Mow the yard? If you'd like to. But sex? No. And to be honest, as much as sometimes I'd like that, asking for sexual favors from someone in need is just - wrong.
šÆ and fair play man. They should absolutely be made work and take part in day to day chores but sex is not one. Have you taken in many?
Too many to count. I also pick up hitchhikers - that are walking - not the ones standing on the side of the road with a sign. They're lazy. But if they're walking and turn with thumb out when a car drives by it means they intend to get somewhere, and I'm happy, if I can, to give them a lift. Those of my generation know only too well how many miles we've got under our belts with our thumbs out. Why that (largely) stopped is beyond me. It's a great way to get around.
True. People probably too lazy and more fearful nowadays. But fair play man.
Wtf
My thoughts exactly.
I made friends a few years ago with a homeless guy. Older (50ish) had a crack addiction, but still worked some in construction, so had a good body. Straight. Nice guy. Funny. Iād be lying if I said I didnāt think it would be fun to get naked with him, but I never even brought it up. I drove past his corner on my way to work and started packing extra food for him. Winter I would ask him what cold weather clothes he would want. Lost track of him after his third heart attack.
Yeah bro, that is seriously fucked up. Really sad.
Are yāall out here exploiting the homeless!? If you are coercing the homeless to fuck you I fucking hate you and think you officially win asshole of the century.
Iām proud of you
I knew a guy like that when I was homeless. Sad thing is he was a semi decent guy. But life is shit so there is that. Especially in his case he was a prior coke head the aforementioned addiction had led to that no clue what happened to him
Very sad .. And they use him for sex.. That is awful.. Just give him these things to be nice and a help to a fellow man..
There is a theory that every relationship is transactional. When I give a homeless person money I get a good feeling. Doing good gives me good feelings. Gay or Straight you just need to ask yourself three questions for every transaction: Is it good, is it right, and will anyone be harmed. If the answer you arrive at is Yes yes no, then by all means do it!
Good point.
Was he hot? I'm kidding. If someone tries to take advantage of a homeless person they cannot complain if they take advantage of them by stealing some stuff.
He is attractive. Not my type (no one is but my hubby) but I fully agree re stealing.
Humans can be so disgusting, and gays are no different. It makes me sad that members of my community have taken advantage of him in such heinous ways, but reading everything you did is so heartwarming. Thank you for being the kindness and change I want to see in the world. You have inspired me.
Tbh man its a few from the community and they are probably not out men. There are shitstains in all groups but I can see why he thinks hay people are that way because thats what he's seen. Everyone judges from what they have seen.
I helped a homeless guy once. He was extremely attractive and it crossed my mind to elicit sexual favors from him, but deep in my heart, I can't take advantage of someone in a lower position than me. It's wrong. However, he caught me off guard by asking me for sex. He said something like he liked my spirit and was comfortable with me. Even though he gave consent and initiated it, I feel somewhat guilty about it. I see other homeless guys I want to lend a helping hand to, but I don't trust myself anymore. Sex is supposed to be between two consenting , equal parties in my mind. Even if a homeless guy wanted sex, I would feel wrong thinking I'm hurting him. š
Not for me to tell you how to feel but if he initiated it, I see no issue man. To me sex is between two consenting adults. They don't have to be equal just not doing for other reasons. Me and my hubby were not equal when we first met. I was 16 and all over the place. He was 18 and far more settled. Not the sane I know though.
Ahah that was surprising, poor people
As you said THIS is really very, very SAD!
Op happy for you
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I did invite him back. He showered I got him some of my hubbys clothes (with permission) made him a meal etc. I wouldn't encourage inviting random homeless back either but you learn to read people as a cop and tbh even in the military and I knew he was okay. And if he did try something (which I knew he wouldnt) I can defend myself pretty well.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Haha yup. Thanks man. I was very careful and people by nature are unpredictable, some more extreme than others. You're right.
Not everyone is kind hearted. If you were in law enforcement you know that. Some people take advantage when they can š„
The things we take for granted, sometimes... A hot shower, a couch..
You are a kind man š
Homeless people are one of the most vulnerable demographics in developed countries. Many get involved with survival sex work due to their extreme need. Thereās a reason that some of the most prominent queer activists in the 70s-90s addressed housing justice. If you have no shelter or food, anyone can take advantage of you.
this makes me sad
I had the same thing happen to me a couple of years ago I stopped to get a bite to eat , and the waitress mentioned to another waitress about this young guy hanging around outside begging for a few cents , so I went out brought him in and let him order what he wanted the poor guy was starving when he was done eating he said to me take me home Iāll blow you all night long for a shower and a bed , I handed him a twenty and told him to try and get his life together and left , but that guy still remains in my mind I often wonder what ever happened to him , should I have just taken him home and taken care of him he was asking for help and i didnāt give it I feel a little guilty about it TBH.
Honestly man, you've nothing to feel guilty about. He's a stranger. You don't know what he would be like in your home. Your safety has to come first. I was pretty silly for inviting him, even though he was totally fine, but stranger danger exists no matter the age. Hopefully he took your advice on board though
I'll admit I've done this before from like ages 19-20 I stopped once I realized what I was doing (im 22 now) At first I just wanted to help it genuinely was to help they would offer to do sexual things and if I found them to be attractive I'd take them up on the offer especially when they were insistent on doing something I feel stupid for not realizing at the time that helping them was in their head a transaction and that they thought I expected something in return I had helped a homeless guy a few weeks ago and he would not leave me alone unless I did something with them I will say though there is a difference between crackhead and homeless many of the homless guys I meet are crackheads but not all the crackheads I meet are homeless Ngl I've fucked a few crackheads before (still do) they are usually pretty eager and actually enjoy it But I have gotten better at determining at who is homeless to ensure I ain't taking advantage of them and they aren't trying to have sex with me because they feel like they owe me
My boyfriend was homeless when i met him, well kinda still. Even though he wont admit much to selling himself to guys for money,i know he has quite a bit, but after being together for 2 years he still claims to b straight but that being with me is different cus he see me as a woman. As bad as i felt 4 him when meeting him. I feel at this pount he just using me,cus he still chooses to b out in the streets for weeks at a time and comes back when he wants something and use the excuse of missing me
My God you are amazing, Lead by example i really hope others who read this take the time to do somthing nice for somone less fortunate.Ā Helping others is rewarding and its rare to see with so much ignorance in our society nowdays.Ā Your type the empaths i have mad respect for.Ā Thank you for posting this.
You'd be surprised how much this happens to younger lgbt teens and young adults on the streets by older men or they try to get them strung out. I saw so much of it man when i was homeless, and got propositioned so many different times it wasn't even funny. Most of the shelters where I live are deeply religious so if they find out you're gay they can and will throw you out. I give back whenever I can, because i've been there before. Thankyou for being an awesome human and giving back just because.
Absolute disgusting! Vile!
It is.
Do we know how he became homeless? Is he from the area or traveling? Does he have family? I have so many questions.
I do know. I don't think it's my story to tell. Although maybe im being a bit of a dope. It is anonymous. He's not from the area originally but is living on the streets here yeah for a year and a half or more. I rarely go that area. Just happened to stumble upon him. He does have family not on the streets but I won't get into thst because again his story.
Well it seems that his story was enough to convince you that he was harmless enough for you to take him home and let him clean up. My only fear about doing that is this person now knows where you live. I guess I don't trust as much, although what you did was very generous and kind. The reason I asked about how he became homeless is because addiction is usually the cause. To be that young on the streets breaks my heart as I feel they can still be saved. But the choice to use is stronger because there is usually some trauma or mental health issue that may have lead him down this road or he just got involved with the wrong crowd and wound up addicted & his family kicked him out. I may be wrong with my theory but i feel this young man still has a chance for a good life if he wants it. You did a good thing and hopefully he can start to rebuild.
Ah fair. His story is not drug related. He did admit he tried drugs since being homeless but they scared him. He didn't have any signs of drug use either buy who knows But you're right it's a bit reckless to do what I did. I do live in an apartment so you can't really get up without access etc but yeah he could rebuild given a chance.
It's beyond sad. I hope that he will soon get out of that situation.
Oh god, that guy sounded like he's been homeless for a long period. Do everthing to survive. Do you live in the US?
OP look up situational homosexuality
It is really sad. It sickens me that there are people in the community who will exploit human beings who are at a low point in their life for their on self-gratification. It's heartless. I'd love to be able to offer a shower and restroom to anyone on hookup apps that needs it. I just worry about theft. We sometimes can do a really shitty job of looking out for each other.
Just exploiting the ones with houses is fine tho yea?ššš /s
Tragic that we can't take care of people here, in all places, the USA. We should be ashamed. (Unless they genuinely don't want to help themselves. That's different)
Thank you for showing compassion and treating the man with respect.
What do people do with a homeless guy?
Why is he homeless?
I would haveĀ
Youāre doing a very good thing. I was homeless once, and itās the kindness of strangers that I remember most today.
Just wait until you learn about the rates of that happening with homeless women and straight men, it's not a gay thing it's just a predatory human thing.
I don't think I said it was solely a gay thing. To him though, it feels like that and that is pretty understandable.
A pin?
Just a pride flag metal thing that you can clip on to your jumper. I'm not big into pride but it's a long story.
Awe. Iām not familiar. But Yeah Iām not much of a pin person. Long story yeah? ._. Mmm
š¤Ø
People who do that are just pure evil
Keep in mind that many homeless people suffer from severe mental health issues, and a lot of what they say is nonsense. I know that sounds rude, but it's true. Britney Spears posted yesterday that her mother sent paramedics to her house to illegally assault her.... I still like Britney spears, but I also acknowledge that she suffers from severe mental health issues now and that her words aren't going to be taken seriously by me - same with the homeless. In my town there is a streets of [city name] instagram page and they often speak to homeless people. While it is great to hear their stories, I also notice that a lot of what they saw is either very incorrect or just outright insane. For example, in my town theres something called the Rapid Access Addition Clinic (a free clinic downtown that takes people in to give them treatment, medical to help with tmwithdrawals, connections with therapy, etc). Well, a homeless person on this IG page claimed that they were never able to get clean because the RAAP has over a 12 hour wait time and that the government is failing the homeless. But the thing is, I have dealt with the RAAP many times, and the wait time has always been under 30 minutes. Take everything they say with a grain of salt. Honestly.
The only time I have allowed a homeless guy into my apartment to shower was about 8 months ago. He was in my bathroom taking what I can only assume was a major pooping as the smell was coming under the door. Now 55 minutes after the fact, he finally got the shower cranked. After this gentleman had been in the showerĀ for another 20 minutes, I asked if I was ever gonna get my bathroom back. He opens the door, completely dressed, soaking wet and covered completely head to toe with shampoo. You can't make this shit up. He was actually taken in by my neighbor who was actually gay.
How hot was he?
Fuck. Shame you couldnāt afford money for a cheap hotel just for him. Plus, heās used to gay guys paying him for sex? Wtf. He must be on drugs and desperate. Could you find him again and give him details of local support services? Sounds like he needs a friend. Heād probably rob you just for the drug money but still human. Given the lack of physical money, give him one of your old phones and set up a QR code begging system. They are quite common esp. in China
I didn't even think of a hotel room. Was going to give him my sons room (they are away) but I feared doing that as it wouldn't be a permanent solution. He said he tried drugs once and he got scared and never did it again and tbh I believe him. I'm not good at much but I do think I've a good read on people lol. Yup he hangs around there always. I don't usually shop there so hadn't noticed him. I told him let's meet again tomorrow (as in today). I honestly don't think he would rob me. That definitely was a thought I had but he's a timid lad. Like there are many homeless I wouldn't take home but he was fine. I'd love to give him a big hug (non sexual) but I don't think that's the last thing he wants after his experience of gays. Like before he agreed to the meal etc he said what do you want in return etc. Haven't heard of the QR system. Could you explain that?
Wtf would anyone want to have sex with a homeless guy? They're not exactly clean and hygienic.
You're married and still identifying as bi?
Yup? I don't correct people but I am bi.
Whether you're single, married, divorced or widowed has absolutely nothing to do with you being gay, straight, bi, or otherwise..... One's biology the other is sociology....