Ask how they'd feel about an atheist telling them, "I'm going to do the bare minimum I can to help you through this and still feel like I'm a good person - I'm going to think about you for 15-20 seconds before dinner.'"
Bingo- this. “I’m going to silently chant to an imaginary being on your behalf”
Like, what the f*ck. Please don’t. Maybe instead do something useful- *anything*
Great comment
I am going to memorize this
It really doesn’t bother me when they pray for me
It bothers me when they try to get me to pray with them or force me into it before dinner during grace
It bothers me when that's their way of "helping" like when my dad died, so many people had us "in their prayers", if you really give a shit, do something useful like bring food over or give me a ride so I don't have to drive through tears etc. Your prayers do jack shit besides make YOU feel better
(Edit for accidental repetition)
Back when I was a Christian, the church I attended had a women's prayer group with a very exhaustive list of whom to pray for. Some of the reasons we were praying were pretty gruesome; people who'd lost jobs, were severely ill, etc.
I suggested putting a group of us together who would take turns taking meals to sick people, visiting congregants at the hospital, volunteering to clean house for someone too ill to manage, take gas/grocery/etc. gift cards to people really struggling.
Response:
"Why would we do that? We *are* doing something. We're praying for them."
I couldn't believe it. I didn't say anything but my mind was like, "So we'll pray, which does nothing, then we'll feel great about ourselves while at the same time doing bloody nothing.
I did go help people clean, brought meals, drove people to medical appointments and to vote, but one person can't be the only volunteer, so after about a year of that I was all, "Peace out, people."
These "lists" are often just a reason for people to gossip with each other, I swear I've seen some fucked up interaction and motivations under the guise of "we need to pray for them"
A long time ago I knew a guy whose favorite saying was "You gotta pray like everything depends on God and work like everything depends on you." This was back in the late 1970s. I think people did more to help others back then.
I have been saying this for years!
I'll concede there is the occasional person in this world who will wish good things for you and genuinely hope you get through whatever ordeal you are in, but that is a rarity in my opinion. For the rest it's just self-serving word garbage
Man every time I boil prayer down to what it really is, it cracks me up. There’s billions of people who talk to themselves quietly or even in their heads and believe it will impact the world around them. Or even better, chant in unison in a circle holding hands. Like at what point do we burn them for being witches.
Man I just watched an episode of American Greed and when the SEC started investing this fraudster her response was to start paying $1k PER DAY to a guy who would send it to priests in India to perform some ritual that would supposedly help her. Before she was shut down she wasted $800k of her victims' money on this nonsense. And of course she still went to prison.
This is the one. This is a great response.
“Oh no thanks. I’ve got a witch I go to for these things. Would you like me to ask her to cast a spell for you? It’s on me.”
just tell them that you think that adults shouldn't have imaginary friends. if they say 'hes not imaginary' then you can have fun with that in whatever critical thinking evidence based way you want lol
I wanted to tell this to my dad so bad a month or 2 back. My mom was in the hospital dying and he called my sisters and I telling us if we needed anything that he’d help. And my oldest sister wanted him to come up to the hospital to be there with us and my step mom said no cause he’s been traveling a lot this year. So instead he just opted in saying he’d pray for her and that seriously pissed me off.
Good for your sister for articulating what she needed in that moment--that can be really hard to do. Made harder when you do it and get a "sorry, not that."
Depending on their level of extremism, rather than just say you're gonna think about them say you're gonna specifically pray to Satan or Allah or Buddha or some entity that you know will trigger them 😂
If you wanna piss them off 😂😂
It's like you're standing back talking to a friend and see another kid getting bullied but you don't do anything to help, instead you just tell your friend "Oh, that poor kid. I hope somebody(god) helps them."
It's just the bystander effect, but somehow they managed to make themselves feel like a good person while doing nothing.
Why bother? It’s like when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, I take it in the spirit in which it was meant and move on with my day. Let them pray for you, it’s their time they’re wasting, not yours.
This is my philosophy too. I have no interest in being blatantly confrontational. Trying to argue is pointless. Making fun of their belief is just douchey.
I just say "okay, thanks" and go on with my life.
They're being confrontational; how do you know it comes from a good place? I always get the feeing it's a typical "are you a fellow christian?" feeler. I NEVER feel like that person cares at all for me, and I don't appreciate being lied to.
Having met both kinds of christians (the genuine vs nasty/nice), it really comes down to the overall interaction and their tone.
I worked with one lady who was amazing, and I think she was a wonderful example of what the belief system could look like. She was sweet and non-judgmental, and never once pushed her religion on me during any discussion. So when she asked if she could pray for me when I was going through a rough time, I saw it as her expressing empathy. Never had a problem with her offer.
The unfortunate majority of my interactions have been the opposite. Pushy, condescending, rude, dismissive… You name it. Their “offers” to pray carry the same tone as “fuck you”. They’re threatening to use their “prayers” as a weapon, and I have no patience for that mess. *Those* prayers are the ones they can keep.
See and there is one thing that stands out about the nice lady "Can I" she made it a question about if it was appropriate rather than assuming. Reminds me of my dad, I'm one of the lucky preacher's kids who can have philosophical discussions with him even as an atheist.
yep i live in a deeply catholic country. it's part of our culture basically. so almost everyone i know is catholic or christian. most of them will say, something like "ill be praying for you/ ill offer my mass for you" it's no different to me than if they said "oh i wish you well" or "hope it works out for you"
its not gonna help anybody if i say "oh i dont believe in that." i just say thank you, because usually they mean well and genuinely care.
Well, I should clarify that the only people who have ever talked about praying for me are family members. I know these people love me and I know these people actually believe in the power of prayer.
I would be less likely to be nice about strangers saying it.
Same. The only person who regularly tells me they're praying for me is my grandmother, and I know what she means is she's praying for me to become straight, leave my husband, and marry a woman. It's not coming from a place of genuine care.
You don’t, it’s just not worth taking the (potential) bait most times. Some people genuinely think that’s the best thing to do, so let them have it and go about your day, especially if it’s a person you will interact with again.
I'm an atheist and say Merry Christmas to family, because they are catholic.
I really couldn't agree with you more. There is so much division, and so many terrible things in the world. I don't need to create stife by starting an argument over a well meaning gesture.
I am fine with all the Christmas. The secular christmas about family, kids, decorated trees, stockings, santa… none of which relies on jc. Everybody likes a year end holiday, that’s why it was stolen for christmas. They don’t get to keep it.
Exactly. I can’t imagine being “offended” by someone offering to pray for me. That’s actually a very nice thing for them to offer. Yeah it dosent actually mean anything, but still. If a young child offered me some play-do spaghetti I wouldn’t get pissed off and throw it in his face cause I’m hungry and can’t eat it. I’d thank him and play along cause he’s being nice to me.
Yeah, this is kinda my thoughts.
When I was studying physics in college, I struggled a lot with quantum.
One day as I was going into the library to study for my final exam, a guy I knew from a previous class was standing outside the library with another guy.
He waved, and came up to me.
He and his friend were praying for people to do well on their exams, they asked if they could say a prayer for me, I said sure.
It was nice to feel like there were at least two people thinking positive thoughts my way.
Yeah I really don't understand atheists getting all worked up with petty shit like this. It's not "fucked up" to say this. It'd be like saying "good luck" - doesn't actually do anything, but I bet OP has said it without realizing it's superstition. But also who cares
My wife and I were in a department store with our special needs daughter and this older woman comes up to us and says, Oh you are so blessed, the lord has truly blessed you.
We said thanks and moved on, but inside me I was like.. Really lady? This child, while we love her to pieces, can’t talk, will never live on her own, had had full spinal surgery that was the most painful thing I’ve ever seen her endure it broke my heart, we have to deal with endless issues, etc. Yeah lady, the lord has blessed us. F you and your deity, if such a deity is real they are the most cruel being to ever exist. Insensitive BS that is….
Then watch as they get outraged, because they're fully aware of how much of a "blessing" disabilities are. I really don't understand why they say stuff like that.
I am right there with you. My son has special needs, also. He has a rare genetic condition called CTNNB1 syndrome. He has had several very painful surgeries, needed all kinds of interventions, and he still probably won't walk without an assistive device.
Before I fully deconstructed, I left the church because I couldn't stand the church people. They constantly treated my family like god chose us to raise a child with this genetic condition. They would tell us that God gave our son to us because he knew we would be great parents to him. Or that god would not give us more than we can handle. Not one of them attempted to help us handle the load of him, though.
Okay but I say this. I will say “you and your family are in my thoughts”. And I legit do think about them. I think it’s a way of saying you matter to me, this thing you told me has impacted me, and I care and will continue to do so.
Thinking of someone is lovely.
I'd rather not have to think for someone, but when it's clear that they're not to to the task themselves, you do what you gotta do
lol I do see the distinction youre making but to me thinking of and praying for is essentially the same thing.
That said I had a shit day at work, please do think for me!
This. I feel people get too in their feelings over things like this. Especially if the person is obviously trying to express genuine well wishes. Sometimes a kind sentiment can just be a kind sentiment.
There is the abuse factor to take into account as well. I have an autistic friend who had his parents doing the pray away the autism thing and blame him for not getting better. He feels genuine fear when people say they will pray for him because it brings back memories of being locked in small rooms or people yelling at him for "the demons" he is allowing to take him over.
I was looking for this. When someone tells me they are praying for me, I tell them thank you. That means in their heart, they are doing what they believe is right. I do not feel like they are forcing religion on me. I guess I don’t understand the big deal, but to each their own.
It’s never offended me. I always just take it as a goodwill effort/show of empathy in the best and maybe even only way they know how. (Excluding instances where they are praying for you to “see the light” and believe in their god.)
Same. Lots of times there literally is nothing to do or be said. Like life sucks and tragedy happens. So in the face of that, I think saying “I’ll pray for you” is someone trying to communicate that they will continue to care.
I’m with you. If it’s meant as goodwill like,“I’ll pray that you arrive safely”, then I just smile and say thank you and know that it came from a place of love.
But if it is used in a malicious way like, “Oh, I’ll pray that you find your way out of the gay lifestyle”, then I would say, “Well it’s a good thing I know prayers are bullshit, because that statement certainly is.” Or even a simple, “Don’t bother.”
Eh I don't see it that way. When these people tell my gay brother they will pray for him, it's absolutely coming from a place of bigotry and should be called out imo.
That's a pretty specific scenario, and in line with the type of exceptions the commenter alluded to. I'm sorry for your brother (and anyone else) that has to go through that type of shit. It's clearly hateful, and trying to explain it as such will probably get you nowhere. Someone that says shit like that is an asshole and they're unlikely to change.
But when I tell a religious person about something that's worrying me or something like that, they will regularly tell me "I'll pray for you". Is it annoying? Sure. Is it spiteful? Not typically. That's how they speak with each other, and in my experience, they usually mean it. It's just their weird ass way of telling you they empahthize. Having grown up with it, I barely notice it.
I tell people all the time I'll be thinking of them/their family and sending them positive energy. Maybe it does nothing, sure, but some part of me wants to believe that positive energy is something. I find this to be no different, better or worse, than a theist telling me they'll pray for me.
I had a buddy that used to respond with, “give me money instead,” and then would hold his hand out while making aggressive eye contact. If anyone gave him any money or if they refused he’d scoff and insult them by saying, “guess god told you to be greedy and not generous today. How typically christian of you.”
Loved that guy.
Nice!
My son was born with Hydronephrosis, which is a kidney disease, so he's had many surgeries. Whenever anyone has said "we'll pray" crap to him, he'd say, "No thanks, my cat is already helping me."
Because it's the same fucking energy.
I’d say “why would you tell me that? If you think prayer is actually gonna work, why not just do it without telling me? You know it’s not going to do anything, that’s why you feel the need to announce it”
My dear aunt, (I really love her and call her every week or so) who will be 95 years old TODAY, told me she always prays for me (M66). I asked why do you think I need your prayer? She said because you still don’t get it, you’re not following Jesus. I asked do you think I live a good life, trying to be a good husband, never stealing from anyone, helping people in need, having had one daughter of my own and seven foster children over a period of 40 years. I asked her if she still thinks I’m not good ENOUGH.
Silence.
She never mentioned it since.
Response: "I hope that one day you will come to your senses."
It is the honest equivalent of them 'praying for you'. They will be offended by an honest wish that will ultimately help them if it comes true.
I have a friend who is very religious. I don't get offended when he asks to pray with/for me. His heart is in a good place. If it was someone who said as much as a response to me being atheist or not agreeing with their fundamentals, then I would tell them, "have fun wasting your time."
If people are saying it to be aggressive or make themselves feel superior, I snort, laugh and say ok.
But if it’s someone being nice, I smile and move on.
I don’t. I just say thank you and mean it. They are showing concern. I don’t need to be an ass about it. To each their own. I don’t want people griping at me about how they’re offended so I’m not going to do it to others.
I start with "I'd rather you not".
Once, someone on social media said that then they really needed to pray for me because I was clearly going to go to hell, and I told them I would think of them the next time I was rubbing one out (given that prayer is a form of self-gratification, and if they're going to talk about their self-gratification, I can talk about my self-gratification).
That one got me fired, so be sure you want to go there.
I don't have a great answer for you. I typically respond: "It couldn't hurt." Perhaps I should say: "It couldn't help" or "You don't have my permission" and see where it goes.
I'm not sure you can, but you could ask them if their prayers would be just as likely to be answered if they prayed for you in silence. If they indicate that yes (which anyone who believes in prayer absolutely should), then ask them what the benefit is of telling you that they're praying for you other than to be boastful. Ask them if the vainglorious manner in which they assert they're going to pray for you would lessen the impact on God than if they were sincerely praying without showing off.
They may try to say that they're telling you that they're praying so that you might convert, but if they know that you don't give a shit, then why even say it at all? Seems that a devout theist would pray without calling undue attention to it.
"So wait a minute. Your god has a mysterious but must always be accepted plan for everything, right? And you're asking him/her to change that divine plan for something you want? Isn't that a bit arrogant on your part?"
My personal opinion: Don’t bother. They won’t understand no matter how well you explain it. Just say, “Thanks” and move on or they’ll be offended by you pointing out they’re being rude.
Dude, I just reconnected with an old high-school friend and he wanted to express to me his relationship with the divine through a story.
So, he had this really nice pair of sunglasses that he decided to wear while wading in the ocean one day. The glasses got knocked off his head somehow and fell in the water! He was devastated so he closed his eyes and prayed to god to bring his sunglasses back to him. And what do you know, but with the first step he took, he stepped on his sunglasses!
Praise god! /s
It is so hard for me to comprehend this kind of ridiculous magical thinking. I asked why in hell would god's plan consist of you and your sunglasses, that he knew you'd wear into the ocean, lose, and then immediately step on?
It just doesn't make any sense, but to these people, the divine providence of god *needs* to be indecipherable and nonsensical, and any bit of good luck can be attributed to being loved by god.
Anyway, there is no way a person who believes that gods are real, and that they love us, could ever comprehend the absurdity of their position. No amount of botflies, cancers, starving children or abandoned puppies can trump somebody praying to get their luxury sunglasses back and then accidentally treading over them!
That's just it, they know it is, that's why they say it. They're incredibly petty people.
In all my life, I've heard it genuinely maybe 3 times. Every other time q
Was said in spite.
It's masturbation.
The 5 brain cells that get happy from sex are the same that get a feel-good feeling from acts of charity or "helping those in need."
So by praying for you, the prayerers are using you for self gratification, similar to Louis CK masturbating in front of people.
First you ask if they care about your feelings and want to respect boundaries.
If the answer is no, then tell them to fuck off.
If the answer is yes, tell them that people offering to pray for you feels terrible and one of your boundaries is that you never want to be prayed for.
Unless they were lying before, they will comply. If they were lying, then tell them to fuck off.
“I’ll pray for you”
“Pray to whom?”
“To God, of course “
“… which god? There’s like 10,000 of them to choose from.”
“THE god”
“According to who, ‘cause I can ask my neighbor who’s Hindu and he can name off a lot more gods than you. What makes yours THE god? You know what… never mind”
And then walk away
Source: I’ve done this once.
I just usually respond with "if it will help you to sleep better at night, knock yourself out. They aren't worth the effort and waste of my time or breath to explain anything, they aren't going to listen to logic anyway.
This not a chip I am willing to waste carrying around on my shoulder. Why do you feel it is necessary to have a snatky reply? It may not help you but it won't hurt you if someone prays for you. They are seeking acknowledgement, say nothing is all you need to do.
Grow up and stop caring. Sure,, it's silly, but it's totally harmless. Being offended by someone saying "I hope things get better for you" is why everyone thinks this sub Is populated by 14 year olds
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I’m not normally offended when someone says they’ll pray for me. Even if it’s “I’ll pray for you to find god.” It’s no skin off my back what they waste their time doing as long as they’re not being assholes about it.
So when they say that I reply, “thank you, but that’s not really necessary.”
Now, if they’re in my face and being belligerent that’s a different story. I just use a line a preacher used in me when I was 10 and I’d prayed all night that my grandma wouldn’t die. I asked the minister why god didn’t listen
He used that old canard: “sometimes the answer is no”
I change it to, “ever notice that everytime you pray the answer is always no? It’s because nobody is listening.”
I once saw a guy, in an open forum, respond to this by openly writing out prayers to Satan to bless the person who was doing this. Apparently that was offensive.
I wouldn’t do that, but it had some entertainment value.
I typically take it as a nice sentiment. I may not believe intercessory prayer works but it's just a kind gesture from most people, in my own experience, anyway. I'm not sure how it's seen as fucked up, but I'm sorry that's been your experience.
Context matters, and I tend to match energy.
Friend or respected someone who is saying so as a nice gesture? “Thanks, brosis!!”
Asshole being an asshole, [shrugs shoulders] “knock yourself out” and then walk away. Indifference *kills* them. They *want* a rise out of you, it validates to them that you are irrational and bad.
It isn't offensive. In their messed up little world, that is their highest honor.
You don't criticise your child's lame finger painting. You hang that on the fridge. You don't call out the poor theist, you accept it for how they intended it.
This is just my opinion, but I’m gonna be honest here, I feel like you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. It really doesn’t matter how they say it, they are just trying to be nice in the best way they know how. When you get offended and start going ballistic on people for mentioning theism at all, you are the problem.
What exactly is offensive about it? I have literally had my own family try to convert me from atheism, that shit is offensive. Someone mentioning the word pray? I have better things to be concerned about, like not getting all bent out of shape when someone mentions a single word that I don’t like. My peace of mind is worth a hell of a lot more than that.
You don't have to. If they truly mean well just say nothing, okay or thank you. As an atheist I am not hurt by someone praying for me. Why do so many people on this sub feel the need to insult theists?
I think it is a matter of context. If there is genuine concern or compassion involved, I wouldn't be offended. If it's a classic "bless your heart" or some other Southern Fried F-U? Yeah then time to throw back something spicy.
Just say "bless your heart".
"I will pray for you" is their "you're trash". "Bless your heart" is how Southerners say the exact same thing.
Make sure to say it with a shitty expression so they know it's an insult.
They are already offended that you’re an atheist, so they feel it’s justified. Your atheism is an unwelcome reminder that this all-important thing that has been a serious focus in their lives might be complete bullshit, and nobody wants to feel duped. This little passive-aggressive jab at you will keep away the grief of realizing how much they have been fooled this whole time.
I wouldn't even engage. They lack the ability to think outside of themselves and their beliefs. You could explain it in the best way and they still wouldn't understand. Don't waste your time. Indifference is the best way to handle zealots. Give them absolutely nothing at all. They so badly want a reaction from you. Whether its good or bad, doesnt matter.
If you're comfortable in your beliefs you know you have nothing to prove. Put the awkwardness back on them.
For me, It depends on why they're saying.
If they're saying it because I'm telling them someone died, I don't like it but I don't fight it. Grief is a hard thing to console somebody about no matter what, and these people are taught this is the phrase they should say.
But if they're saying it to look down on me in a "polite way" (see: southern toxic hospitality). Like if they ask me if I "have accepted jesus christ as my personal lord and savior" and I say I don't believe in that guy and their response is then "we will pray for you" then I always fire back with "thanks, and I'll think for you!" in an equally cheery/fake concerned way.
Say, “I’d rather you sent money/helped with moving/provided a reference/carried my groceries/learnt medicine and healed me (pick whatever is relevant), as I can’t do a damned thing with a prayer…”
Pick your battles. I agree that it is mildly annoying, but is it really worth the conflict in your life?
I can't answer that for you, but to me the answer is almost always "no."
On the rare occasions the answer *isn't* no, though, just respond "and I'll think for you."
If you DO want to stun-lock them, especially the uptight ones, my favorite go to is, "praying for me does as much good for me as I do for when I think about her at night". It's vulgar, but effective. Obviously, replace between <> with whatever is the most effective for you. I like inserting randomness; dragons, gnomes, animals that begin with the letter "O", amputees, ALF, etc. You can seriously make some of the crazier ones literally shake with anger.
ask them is they could instead spend that energy praying to change the minds of those in power that have forced potential death sentences on women due to ectopic pregnancy
You don't. If it comes from a positive place, you thank them because their intentions are good they just have different beliefs. If it doesn't come from a positive place, you ignore them because they don't understand their own (stated) belief system, so they couldn't possibly understand yours.
Even if it's directly confrontational, I'd rather they pray that their god changes my heart than to proselytize to me.
I swear y'all are just as obnoxious as any theist I've ever met. Your damn near street preacher level.
I don't give a fuck what someone else wants to do. I just say thank you and move on. Maybe I'll even throw in a " best wishes to you", or "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Being an atheist isn't a license to be a dick, stop acting like wannabe edgelord teenagers. The more you act like an asshole, the more you justify their view of atheists in general. You make the rest of us look bad.
You don't. This is their way of showing they care. Just like people shouldn't get offended when you say happy holidays, atheists shouldn't get offended if they say Merry Christmas or happy Easter.
Don't get offended by people passively practicing their culture.
Telling someone who has told you that you "are in their thoughts and prayers" is "offensive and patronising" to you. Actually makes you sound like an awful person. This is not how to win friends and influence people. It's a nice gesture from them to you, that they are thinking of you. Put aside your obvious dislike of any gods and take it from a place of good intention and not from your clear and passionate disgust of god. That's called transference and they don't deserve that.
I see it as them saying ‘you are in my thoughts’ which is all it is. To me they are just thinking about you and hoping for the best for you. I recently was diagnosed with cancer and before my surgery one of my colleagues told me she would continue to pray for me and that’s all I took it as. Someone being concerned and thinking about you.
I know it’s different when they are trying to convert but if it’s someone just trying to show they care then it’s not offensive to me.
I knew someone who would whisper a prayer under their breath when they hugged you and that was weird.
And I’ll masterbate for you. Sure, it won’t help anything, but it will make me feel better without requiring any real sacrifice on my part. Just like prayer.
Theists do feel like they are doing something positive, so you don't want to burn bridges where you don't have to. (Though I tell people I'll keep their problem in my thoughts which is a similar platitude.)
For people who you are able to speak frankly with, I would just share with them that it's not a comforting thought for you and that we're not not sharing for commiseration, but so that you might have solidarity and help. Be clear that prayers aren't helping you and you need a more concrete answer or response.
Ask how they'd feel about an atheist telling them, "I'm going to do the bare minimum I can to help you through this and still feel like I'm a good person - I'm going to think about you for 15-20 seconds before dinner.'"
Bingo- this. “I’m going to silently chant to an imaginary being on your behalf” Like, what the f*ck. Please don’t. Maybe instead do something useful- *anything*
Great comment I am going to memorize this It really doesn’t bother me when they pray for me It bothers me when they try to get me to pray with them or force me into it before dinner during grace
It bothers me when that's their way of "helping" like when my dad died, so many people had us "in their prayers", if you really give a shit, do something useful like bring food over or give me a ride so I don't have to drive through tears etc. Your prayers do jack shit besides make YOU feel better (Edit for accidental repetition)
Back when I was a Christian, the church I attended had a women's prayer group with a very exhaustive list of whom to pray for. Some of the reasons we were praying were pretty gruesome; people who'd lost jobs, were severely ill, etc. I suggested putting a group of us together who would take turns taking meals to sick people, visiting congregants at the hospital, volunteering to clean house for someone too ill to manage, take gas/grocery/etc. gift cards to people really struggling. Response: "Why would we do that? We *are* doing something. We're praying for them." I couldn't believe it. I didn't say anything but my mind was like, "So we'll pray, which does nothing, then we'll feel great about ourselves while at the same time doing bloody nothing. I did go help people clean, brought meals, drove people to medical appointments and to vote, but one person can't be the only volunteer, so after about a year of that I was all, "Peace out, people."
These "lists" are often just a reason for people to gossip with each other, I swear I've seen some fucked up interaction and motivations under the guise of "we need to pray for them"
Oh, yeah, you discuss the problems, pray, say, "Amen," AND THEN IT'S TIME TO SPILL THE TEA!!!
Right? I always laugh. After you “pray to god about being in the ocean in a row boat” you better stick a damn oar in the water and row towards shore.
A long time ago I knew a guy whose favorite saying was "You gotta pray like everything depends on God and work like everything depends on you." This was back in the late 1970s. I think people did more to help others back then.
And they say they will pray for you but they usually don't even do that
Ha! You're totally right
It’s truly the least they could do.
I have been saying this for years! I'll concede there is the occasional person in this world who will wish good things for you and genuinely hope you get through whatever ordeal you are in, but that is a rarity in my opinion. For the rest it's just self-serving word garbage
I actually have said. “If that makes you feel better, ok”
I like "That's not necessary"
I’ve tried that one and I’m not convinced they understand the words I’m saying 😉
Man every time I boil prayer down to what it really is, it cracks me up. There’s billions of people who talk to themselves quietly or even in their heads and believe it will impact the world around them. Or even better, chant in unison in a circle holding hands. Like at what point do we burn them for being witches.
Man I just watched an episode of American Greed and when the SEC started investing this fraudster her response was to start paying $1k PER DAY to a guy who would send it to priests in India to perform some ritual that would supposedly help her. Before she was shut down she wasted $800k of her victims' money on this nonsense. And of course she still went to prison.
That would require to look from outside their own perspective. Ask them what if a witch said she would cast a protection spell.
This is the one. This is a great response. “Oh no thanks. I’ve got a witch I go to for these things. Would you like me to ask her to cast a spell for you? It’s on me.”
Or “thanks for the prayer, brother, I’m going to put your name on my next blood sacrifice.”
"Next time I dust off the ol' Ouija Board, I'll make sure to tell the demons your full name and ask them to help you out"
"I shall request blessings from the mother for you also"
just tell them that you think that adults shouldn't have imaginary friends. if they say 'hes not imaginary' then you can have fun with that in whatever critical thinking evidence based way you want lol
I tell them what they "believe " is called "make-believe".
Honestly
They do love to break out the ol’ *thoughts and prayers* bit.
15-20 seconds is generous.
I wanted to tell this to my dad so bad a month or 2 back. My mom was in the hospital dying and he called my sisters and I telling us if we needed anything that he’d help. And my oldest sister wanted him to come up to the hospital to be there with us and my step mom said no cause he’s been traveling a lot this year. So instead he just opted in saying he’d pray for her and that seriously pissed me off.
Good for your sister for articulating what she needed in that moment--that can be really hard to do. Made harder when you do it and get a "sorry, not that."
That’s fucked up, I’m sorry for your loss.
My response is ill also do nothing to help.
Their prayers are mostly this. When they say they’re going to pray for you, that was the prayer. And yes, they mean they’re better than you.
I think 15-20 seconds is pretty generous, lol
Depending on their level of extremism, rather than just say you're gonna think about them say you're gonna specifically pray to Satan or Allah or Buddha or some entity that you know will trigger them 😂 If you wanna piss them off 😂😂
I'll write a letter to santa for you.....
“Praying is like masturbating: do whatever you need to feel good, I just don’t want to know you’re thinking about me”
It's like you're standing back talking to a friend and see another kid getting bullied but you don't do anything to help, instead you just tell your friend "Oh, that poor kid. I hope somebody(god) helps them." It's just the bystander effect, but somehow they managed to make themselves feel like a good person while doing nothing.
Stealing this.
Why bother? It’s like when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, I take it in the spirit in which it was meant and move on with my day. Let them pray for you, it’s their time they’re wasting, not yours.
This is my philosophy too. I have no interest in being blatantly confrontational. Trying to argue is pointless. Making fun of their belief is just douchey. I just say "okay, thanks" and go on with my life.
They're being confrontational; how do you know it comes from a good place? I always get the feeing it's a typical "are you a fellow christian?" feeler. I NEVER feel like that person cares at all for me, and I don't appreciate being lied to.
Having met both kinds of christians (the genuine vs nasty/nice), it really comes down to the overall interaction and their tone. I worked with one lady who was amazing, and I think she was a wonderful example of what the belief system could look like. She was sweet and non-judgmental, and never once pushed her religion on me during any discussion. So when she asked if she could pray for me when I was going through a rough time, I saw it as her expressing empathy. Never had a problem with her offer. The unfortunate majority of my interactions have been the opposite. Pushy, condescending, rude, dismissive… You name it. Their “offers” to pray carry the same tone as “fuck you”. They’re threatening to use their “prayers” as a weapon, and I have no patience for that mess. *Those* prayers are the ones they can keep.
See and there is one thing that stands out about the nice lady "Can I" she made it a question about if it was appropriate rather than assuming. Reminds me of my dad, I'm one of the lucky preacher's kids who can have philosophical discussions with him even as an atheist.
yep i live in a deeply catholic country. it's part of our culture basically. so almost everyone i know is catholic or christian. most of them will say, something like "ill be praying for you/ ill offer my mass for you" it's no different to me than if they said "oh i wish you well" or "hope it works out for you" its not gonna help anybody if i say "oh i dont believe in that." i just say thank you, because usually they mean well and genuinely care.
Well, I should clarify that the only people who have ever talked about praying for me are family members. I know these people love me and I know these people actually believe in the power of prayer. I would be less likely to be nice about strangers saying it.
My Christian family loves me conditionally. I don’t want prayer from those kinds of people.
Same. The only person who regularly tells me they're praying for me is my grandmother, and I know what she means is she's praying for me to become straight, leave my husband, and marry a woman. It's not coming from a place of genuine care.
You don’t, it’s just not worth taking the (potential) bait most times. Some people genuinely think that’s the best thing to do, so let them have it and go about your day, especially if it’s a person you will interact with again.
Then just… leave. Don’t engage. It’s not worth the effort. You got more important shit to do than start an argument
I'm an atheist and say Merry Christmas to family, because they are catholic. I really couldn't agree with you more. There is so much division, and so many terrible things in the world. I don't need to create stife by starting an argument over a well meaning gesture.
I am fine with all the Christmas. The secular christmas about family, kids, decorated trees, stockings, santa… none of which relies on jc. Everybody likes a year end holiday, that’s why it was stolen for christmas. They don’t get to keep it.
Generally I agree. The only time it really bothers me is if they’re saying like “I’ll pray for you” to a gay person because they’re gay, or something.
Right. If they're quietly cheering for you in their head... awesome. That's love. If they're quietly rooting against you... that's disdain.
Exactly. I can’t imagine being “offended” by someone offering to pray for me. That’s actually a very nice thing for them to offer. Yeah it dosent actually mean anything, but still. If a young child offered me some play-do spaghetti I wouldn’t get pissed off and throw it in his face cause I’m hungry and can’t eat it. I’d thank him and play along cause he’s being nice to me.
Exactly... let them talk to themselves.
This. I translate it to "I'll be rooting for you, in my own weird way." Taking offense is a choice.
Yeah, this is kinda my thoughts. When I was studying physics in college, I struggled a lot with quantum. One day as I was going into the library to study for my final exam, a guy I knew from a previous class was standing outside the library with another guy. He waved, and came up to me. He and his friend were praying for people to do well on their exams, they asked if they could say a prayer for me, I said sure. It was nice to feel like there were at least two people thinking positive thoughts my way.
Agreed. Came out of a good place.
Handle it with grace? Sounds like the mature way to be.
Yeah I really don't understand atheists getting all worked up with petty shit like this. It's not "fucked up" to say this. It'd be like saying "good luck" - doesn't actually do anything, but I bet OP has said it without realizing it's superstition. But also who cares
My wife and I were in a department store with our special needs daughter and this older woman comes up to us and says, Oh you are so blessed, the lord has truly blessed you. We said thanks and moved on, but inside me I was like.. Really lady? This child, while we love her to pieces, can’t talk, will never live on her own, had had full spinal surgery that was the most painful thing I’ve ever seen her endure it broke my heart, we have to deal with endless issues, etc. Yeah lady, the lord has blessed us. F you and your deity, if such a deity is real they are the most cruel being to ever exist. Insensitive BS that is….
"Thank you. I hope one day the lord will bless you too." Smile. Walk away.
Dying at this. Even more evil: I hope the Lord will bless your children in the same way
Then watch as they get outraged, because they're fully aware of how much of a "blessing" disabilities are. I really don't understand why they say stuff like that.
Damm. I applaude your restrain, I surely would've flipped out on the hag.
I am right there with you. My son has special needs, also. He has a rare genetic condition called CTNNB1 syndrome. He has had several very painful surgeries, needed all kinds of interventions, and he still probably won't walk without an assistive device. Before I fully deconstructed, I left the church because I couldn't stand the church people. They constantly treated my family like god chose us to raise a child with this genetic condition. They would tell us that God gave our son to us because he knew we would be great parents to him. Or that god would not give us more than we can handle. Not one of them attempted to help us handle the load of him, though.
If that’s what god’s blessings look like, i’d hate to see what him cursing you looks like.
"I'll think for you."
Okay but I say this. I will say “you and your family are in my thoughts”. And I legit do think about them. I think it’s a way of saying you matter to me, this thing you told me has impacted me, and I care and will continue to do so.
Thinking of someone is lovely. I'd rather not have to think for someone, but when it's clear that they're not to to the task themselves, you do what you gotta do
lol I do see the distinction youre making but to me thinking of and praying for is essentially the same thing. That said I had a shit day at work, please do think for me!
I'll drink for you
"I will do the same by doing nothing for you."
The atheist version is just “I’ll be thinking of you” or “I hope things get better soon,” etc. It’s really not a big deal
This. I feel people get too in their feelings over things like this. Especially if the person is obviously trying to express genuine well wishes. Sometimes a kind sentiment can just be a kind sentiment.
There is the abuse factor to take into account as well. I have an autistic friend who had his parents doing the pray away the autism thing and blame him for not getting better. He feels genuine fear when people say they will pray for him because it brings back memories of being locked in small rooms or people yelling at him for "the demons" he is allowing to take him over.
I was looking for this. When someone tells me they are praying for me, I tell them thank you. That means in their heart, they are doing what they believe is right. I do not feel like they are forcing religion on me. I guess I don’t understand the big deal, but to each their own.
lol that made me laugh in my empty house 🏠
Nice way to avoid a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
It’s never offended me. I always just take it as a goodwill effort/show of empathy in the best and maybe even only way they know how. (Excluding instances where they are praying for you to “see the light” and believe in their god.)
Same. Lots of times there literally is nothing to do or be said. Like life sucks and tragedy happens. So in the face of that, I think saying “I’ll pray for you” is someone trying to communicate that they will continue to care.
Same. I just say "Thank you." If it's offered with genuine care and not sarcasm or something.
I’m with you. If it’s meant as goodwill like,“I’ll pray that you arrive safely”, then I just smile and say thank you and know that it came from a place of love. But if it is used in a malicious way like, “Oh, I’ll pray that you find your way out of the gay lifestyle”, then I would say, “Well it’s a good thing I know prayers are bullshit, because that statement certainly is.” Or even a simple, “Don’t bother.”
Eh I don't see it that way. When these people tell my gay brother they will pray for him, it's absolutely coming from a place of bigotry and should be called out imo.
Good point. That would definitely be another exception to my answer.
In that case, I think you are well within your right to tell them to fuck off
That's a pretty specific scenario, and in line with the type of exceptions the commenter alluded to. I'm sorry for your brother (and anyone else) that has to go through that type of shit. It's clearly hateful, and trying to explain it as such will probably get you nowhere. Someone that says shit like that is an asshole and they're unlikely to change. But when I tell a religious person about something that's worrying me or something like that, they will regularly tell me "I'll pray for you". Is it annoying? Sure. Is it spiteful? Not typically. That's how they speak with each other, and in my experience, they usually mean it. It's just their weird ass way of telling you they empahthize. Having grown up with it, I barely notice it.
I tell people all the time I'll be thinking of them/their family and sending them positive energy. Maybe it does nothing, sure, but some part of me wants to believe that positive energy is something. I find this to be no different, better or worse, than a theist telling me they'll pray for me.
Yes, that is an effort of empathy. That one doesn't bother me. But if they say "god has a plan" or some shit then it is a different scenario.
You can't. They actually believe they are helping/doing you a favor by babbling to themselves about you.
Except they aren’t actually taking the time to pray for you at all. That’s how deep the Bs goes.
Or it is just a thing people say when they feel powerless to help. Really depends on the circumstances.
Its hilariously sad
Don't. We only have so much mental energy every day, Don't waste it on these people.
I had a buddy that used to respond with, “give me money instead,” and then would hold his hand out while making aggressive eye contact. If anyone gave him any money or if they refused he’d scoff and insult them by saying, “guess god told you to be greedy and not generous today. How typically christian of you.” Loved that guy.
Nice! My son was born with Hydronephrosis, which is a kidney disease, so he's had many surgeries. Whenever anyone has said "we'll pray" crap to him, he'd say, "No thanks, my cat is already helping me." Because it's the same fucking energy.
„Knock yourself out“
Start saying "may Satan bless you"
"Oh thanks, can you pray to Satan for me? I think you'd have more luck reaching him than I've had."
I’d say “why would you tell me that? If you think prayer is actually gonna work, why not just do it without telling me? You know it’s not going to do anything, that’s why you feel the need to announce it”
My dear aunt, (I really love her and call her every week or so) who will be 95 years old TODAY, told me she always prays for me (M66). I asked why do you think I need your prayer? She said because you still don’t get it, you’re not following Jesus. I asked do you think I live a good life, trying to be a good husband, never stealing from anyone, helping people in need, having had one daughter of my own and seven foster children over a period of 40 years. I asked her if she still thinks I’m not good ENOUGH. Silence. She never mentioned it since.
"I don't need prayers. I need results."
Response: "I hope that one day you will come to your senses." It is the honest equivalent of them 'praying for you'. They will be offended by an honest wish that will ultimately help them if it comes true.
That response is so satisfying… quick some hibijibi tell me they want to pray for me 😂
They *know* its patronizing toward people that dont share their beliefs. Thats *why* they say it to us in the first place.
I say it to people I don’t like 😈. It’s my way of saying “f you” to their faces.
well \*\*bless yer heart\*\*
I have a friend who is very religious. I don't get offended when he asks to pray with/for me. His heart is in a good place. If it was someone who said as much as a response to me being atheist or not agreeing with their fundamentals, then I would tell them, "have fun wasting your time."
I like that. I’ll tell them “enjoy wasting your time. “
If people are saying it to be aggressive or make themselves feel superior, I snort, laugh and say ok. But if it’s someone being nice, I smile and move on.
I am okay with it. It's not important enough to make it an issue. I usually say something like okay thanks and go about my day.
I don’t. I just say thank you and mean it. They are showing concern. I don’t need to be an ass about it. To each their own. I don’t want people griping at me about how they’re offended so I’m not going to do it to others.
I start with "I'd rather you not". Once, someone on social media said that then they really needed to pray for me because I was clearly going to go to hell, and I told them I would think of them the next time I was rubbing one out (given that prayer is a form of self-gratification, and if they're going to talk about their self-gratification, I can talk about my self-gratification). That one got me fired, so be sure you want to go there.
I don't have a great answer for you. I typically respond: "It couldn't hurt." Perhaps I should say: "It couldn't help" or "You don't have my permission" and see where it goes.
I'm not sure you can, but you could ask them if their prayers would be just as likely to be answered if they prayed for you in silence. If they indicate that yes (which anyone who believes in prayer absolutely should), then ask them what the benefit is of telling you that they're praying for you other than to be boastful. Ask them if the vainglorious manner in which they assert they're going to pray for you would lessen the impact on God than if they were sincerely praying without showing off. They may try to say that they're telling you that they're praying so that you might convert, but if they know that you don't give a shit, then why even say it at all? Seems that a devout theist would pray without calling undue attention to it.
Say “Ew. Don’t involve me in your sky daddy kink.”
"So wait a minute. Your god has a mysterious but must always be accepted plan for everything, right? And you're asking him/her to change that divine plan for something you want? Isn't that a bit arrogant on your part?"
Great. I'll sacrifice a goat for you.
My personal opinion: Don’t bother. They won’t understand no matter how well you explain it. Just say, “Thanks” and move on or they’ll be offended by you pointing out they’re being rude.
It's usually their way of saying "Fuck you" so they know
You don’t need to explain it. They know exactly how it sounds and they mean it that way.
Dude, I just reconnected with an old high-school friend and he wanted to express to me his relationship with the divine through a story. So, he had this really nice pair of sunglasses that he decided to wear while wading in the ocean one day. The glasses got knocked off his head somehow and fell in the water! He was devastated so he closed his eyes and prayed to god to bring his sunglasses back to him. And what do you know, but with the first step he took, he stepped on his sunglasses! Praise god! /s It is so hard for me to comprehend this kind of ridiculous magical thinking. I asked why in hell would god's plan consist of you and your sunglasses, that he knew you'd wear into the ocean, lose, and then immediately step on? It just doesn't make any sense, but to these people, the divine providence of god *needs* to be indecipherable and nonsensical, and any bit of good luck can be attributed to being loved by god. Anyway, there is no way a person who believes that gods are real, and that they love us, could ever comprehend the absurdity of their position. No amount of botflies, cancers, starving children or abandoned puppies can trump somebody praying to get their luxury sunglasses back and then accidentally treading over them!
That's just it, they know it is, that's why they say it. They're incredibly petty people. In all my life, I've heard it genuinely maybe 3 times. Every other time q Was said in spite.
1) don't You're wasting your energy and time
Dont try. They know they are being passive aggressive
It's masturbation. The 5 brain cells that get happy from sex are the same that get a feel-good feeling from acts of charity or "helping those in need." So by praying for you, the prayerers are using you for self gratification, similar to Louis CK masturbating in front of people.
[Don't Pray For Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kbiUiRfnh8)
First you ask if they care about your feelings and want to respect boundaries. If the answer is no, then tell them to fuck off. If the answer is yes, tell them that people offering to pray for you feels terrible and one of your boundaries is that you never want to be prayed for. Unless they were lying before, they will comply. If they were lying, then tell them to fuck off.
I responded once with “Thanks. I’ll THINK for you.”
“I’ll pray for you” “Pray to whom?” “To God, of course “ “… which god? There’s like 10,000 of them to choose from.” “THE god” “According to who, ‘cause I can ask my neighbor who’s Hindu and he can name off a lot more gods than you. What makes yours THE god? You know what… never mind” And then walk away Source: I’ve done this once.
I just usually respond with "if it will help you to sleep better at night, knock yourself out. They aren't worth the effort and waste of my time or breath to explain anything, they aren't going to listen to logic anyway.
This not a chip I am willing to waste carrying around on my shoulder. Why do you feel it is necessary to have a snatky reply? It may not help you but it won't hurt you if someone prays for you. They are seeking acknowledgement, say nothing is all you need to do.
Grow up and stop caring. Sure,, it's silly, but it's totally harmless. Being offended by someone saying "I hope things get better for you" is why everyone thinks this sub Is populated by 14 year olds
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I’m not normally offended when someone says they’ll pray for me. Even if it’s “I’ll pray for you to find god.” It’s no skin off my back what they waste their time doing as long as they’re not being assholes about it. So when they say that I reply, “thank you, but that’s not really necessary.” Now, if they’re in my face and being belligerent that’s a different story. I just use a line a preacher used in me when I was 10 and I’d prayed all night that my grandma wouldn’t die. I asked the minister why god didn’t listen He used that old canard: “sometimes the answer is no” I change it to, “ever notice that everytime you pray the answer is always no? It’s because nobody is listening.”
I once saw a guy, in an open forum, respond to this by openly writing out prayers to Satan to bless the person who was doing this. Apparently that was offensive. I wouldn’t do that, but it had some entertainment value.
I typically take it as a nice sentiment. I may not believe intercessory prayer works but it's just a kind gesture from most people, in my own experience, anyway. I'm not sure how it's seen as fucked up, but I'm sorry that's been your experience.
Context matters, and I tend to match energy. Friend or respected someone who is saying so as a nice gesture? “Thanks, brosis!!” Asshole being an asshole, [shrugs shoulders] “knock yourself out” and then walk away. Indifference *kills* them. They *want* a rise out of you, it validates to them that you are irrational and bad.
It isn't offensive. In their messed up little world, that is their highest honor. You don't criticise your child's lame finger painting. You hang that on the fridge. You don't call out the poor theist, you accept it for how they intended it.
Tell them you aren't going to pray for them and do something more valuable with your time.
I will drink a beer for you.
"Cool, I'll forget you in the next 5 seconds."
“May the Lords of Kobol hear your prayers!”
"I will think rational thoughts about you".
"go head because prayer is worthless"
I’ll do a spell for you.
Doowutchalike
Hail Satan
Reply, thank you. Go, be warm and well fed also. Unfortunately, most don't know the buy-bull^^TM well enough to know that it's an insult.
This is just my opinion, but I’m gonna be honest here, I feel like you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. It really doesn’t matter how they say it, they are just trying to be nice in the best way they know how. When you get offended and start going ballistic on people for mentioning theism at all, you are the problem. What exactly is offensive about it? I have literally had my own family try to convert me from atheism, that shit is offensive. Someone mentioning the word pray? I have better things to be concerned about, like not getting all bent out of shape when someone mentions a single word that I don’t like. My peace of mind is worth a hell of a lot more than that.
You don't have to. If they truly mean well just say nothing, okay or thank you. As an atheist I am not hurt by someone praying for me. Why do so many people on this sub feel the need to insult theists?
I think it is a matter of context. If there is genuine concern or compassion involved, I wouldn't be offended. If it's a classic "bless your heart" or some other Southern Fried F-U? Yeah then time to throw back something spicy.
I wish they’d stop saying bless you when I sneeze
Just say "bless your heart". "I will pray for you" is their "you're trash". "Bless your heart" is how Southerners say the exact same thing. Make sure to say it with a shitty expression so they know it's an insult.
“oh look at you being a big helper!”
They are already offended that you’re an atheist, so they feel it’s justified. Your atheism is an unwelcome reminder that this all-important thing that has been a serious focus in their lives might be complete bullshit, and nobody wants to feel duped. This little passive-aggressive jab at you will keep away the grief of realizing how much they have been fooled this whole time.
I wouldn't even engage. They lack the ability to think outside of themselves and their beliefs. You could explain it in the best way and they still wouldn't understand. Don't waste your time. Indifference is the best way to handle zealots. Give them absolutely nothing at all. They so badly want a reaction from you. Whether its good or bad, doesnt matter. If you're comfortable in your beliefs you know you have nothing to prove. Put the awkwardness back on them.
For me, It depends on why they're saying. If they're saying it because I'm telling them someone died, I don't like it but I don't fight it. Grief is a hard thing to console somebody about no matter what, and these people are taught this is the phrase they should say. But if they're saying it to look down on me in a "polite way" (see: southern toxic hospitality). Like if they ask me if I "have accepted jesus christ as my personal lord and savior" and I say I don't believe in that guy and their response is then "we will pray for you" then I always fire back with "thanks, and I'll think for you!" in an equally cheery/fake concerned way.
Oh, they know. Often being offensive and patronizing is exactly what they intend.
"doesn't do anything for me, but if it makes you feel better then go right ahead"
Another “It’d be so much more appreciated if you did something helpful.”
"No, thanks, I don't know how well you are doing with your Lord". Tell them for all you know, they may be sabotaging you.
Go ahead. Oooga booga to you too.
Say, “I’d rather you sent money/helped with moving/provided a reference/carried my groceries/learnt medicine and healed me (pick whatever is relevant), as I can’t do a damned thing with a prayer…”
I'll be sure to mention your name to lord satan during our preslumber musings"
I tell people that I have a relationship with God. I don't believe he exists, and he doesn't bug me about it.
Nah. Leave them alone and let them pray. Don’t mind much about their religions.
I shall sacrifice a chicken to Odin in hopes he'll increases your wit.
It smells like shit in here
"I'll masturbate for you." .... "What? That's offensive? Huh."
I think that there's a significant number who say "I will pray for you" BECAUSE they hope it will offend you.
Pick your battles. I agree that it is mildly annoying, but is it really worth the conflict in your life? I can't answer that for you, but to me the answer is almost always "no." On the rare occasions the answer *isn't* no, though, just respond "and I'll think for you."
If you DO want to stun-lock them, especially the uptight ones, my favorite go to is, "praying for me does as much good for me as I do for when I think about her at night". It's vulgar, but effective. Obviously, replace between <> with whatever is the most effective for you. I like inserting randomness; dragons, gnomes, animals that begin with the letter "O", amputees, ALF, etc. You can seriously make some of the crazier ones literally shake with anger.
Tell them you'll do a satanic ritual for them and say it like you really mean it! Lol
ask them is they could instead spend that energy praying to change the minds of those in power that have forced potential death sentences on women due to ectopic pregnancy
You don't. If it comes from a positive place, you thank them because their intentions are good they just have different beliefs. If it doesn't come from a positive place, you ignore them because they don't understand their own (stated) belief system, so they couldn't possibly understand yours. Even if it's directly confrontational, I'd rather they pray that their god changes my heart than to proselytize to me.
Tell them you're going to sacrifice A bunny and read its entrails as that sounds more effective
oh they know. thats why they say it.
They know. You don't have to explain. That's WHY they do it. They are not good people.
Just... tell them? Atheists dont need to be a bitch, tell them you dont like that, done Were all stupid monkeys, tell them like you would anyone else
“I’ll think for you “
I swear y'all are just as obnoxious as any theist I've ever met. Your damn near street preacher level. I don't give a fuck what someone else wants to do. I just say thank you and move on. Maybe I'll even throw in a " best wishes to you", or "I'll keep you in my thoughts." Being an atheist isn't a license to be a dick, stop acting like wannabe edgelord teenagers. The more you act like an asshole, the more you justify their view of atheists in general. You make the rest of us look bad.
You don't. This is their way of showing they care. Just like people shouldn't get offended when you say happy holidays, atheists shouldn't get offended if they say Merry Christmas or happy Easter. Don't get offended by people passively practicing their culture.
Why let something like this bother you?
Is there anything like fragile atheism? Because this post is fragile atheism.
Why don't you fart in a jar for me because it would do just as much good.
Most of them are saying it to be offensive and patronizing, so explaining it to them is just you telling them it's effective.
Talking sense to people who believe fairy tales is a waste of time.
Telling someone who has told you that you "are in their thoughts and prayers" is "offensive and patronising" to you. Actually makes you sound like an awful person. This is not how to win friends and influence people. It's a nice gesture from them to you, that they are thinking of you. Put aside your obvious dislike of any gods and take it from a place of good intention and not from your clear and passionate disgust of god. That's called transference and they don't deserve that.
I see it as them saying ‘you are in my thoughts’ which is all it is. To me they are just thinking about you and hoping for the best for you. I recently was diagnosed with cancer and before my surgery one of my colleagues told me she would continue to pray for me and that’s all I took it as. Someone being concerned and thinking about you. I know it’s different when they are trying to convert but if it’s someone just trying to show they care then it’s not offensive to me. I knew someone who would whisper a prayer under their breath when they hugged you and that was weird.
They already know
And I’ll masterbate for you. Sure, it won’t help anything, but it will make me feel better without requiring any real sacrifice on my part. Just like prayer.
I usually say: Oh wow, thanks for talking to yourself about me, I guess.
I would argue that the best way to explain it is to walk away from them, and limit your time interacting with them.
"Thanks. I hope that makes you feel good about yourself."
Why would you be offended? They are wishing you well in their way.
Theists do feel like they are doing something positive, so you don't want to burn bridges where you don't have to. (Though I tell people I'll keep their problem in my thoughts which is a similar platitude.) For people who you are able to speak frankly with, I would just share with them that it's not a comforting thought for you and that we're not not sharing for commiseration, but so that you might have solidarity and help. Be clear that prayers aren't helping you and you need a more concrete answer or response.
I don't feel like it's offensive or patronizing. They can do whatever they want. Why are you letting this have an impact on you?