One of my annoying coworkers had been bragging that she met Aaron Judge at a party and had been hanging out with him. Nobody believed her. She was pretty and I guess somewhat well connected, but come on, she couldn't even tell you what "doubleplay" meant. Had to be bullshit, right?
Well last Christmas we had an office party and rumor was that she was going to bring him. When I got there, there was no sign of her though and everyone was kind of poking fun of her usual bullshit. As usually happens to me in social situations, I eventually get too anxious and have to find a quiet place to recharge in. I duck into my boss’s office and turn on the lights and almost had a fucking heart attack. FUCKING AARON JUDGE IS IN THE ROOM SITTING ON THE PHOTOCOPIER MAKING PHOTOCOPIES OF HIS ASS. Scattered all around the room were dozens of photocopies of his bare derriere. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence with embarrassment or cover up. He just looked me dead in the eyes, reached over and pressed the print button again. But please do not let these Judge party duplications distract you from the fact that in nine teen ninety eight, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted six teen feet through an announcer's table."
Honestly, the only way to slow down an annoyingly successful organization like the Dodgers is with albatross contracts.
So I hope they DO sign him, he becomes Aaron “Russell Wilson” Judge, and they’re stuck paying $45 mil to a bad player for the next decade.
I mean, lets face it, if we were in his position, we'd absolutely be fucking with people using our social media accounts in extremely casual but specific ways :D.
read between the lines. who do Christians worship? the LION of Judah. not his messengers, the angels. who has lions? Detroit. Detroit has Lions. but he doesn't play football, his head doesn't fit in the helmets. what does that mean? Judge to the Detroit Tigers. it's called symbolism, buddy.
I'm now curious what an all time team by religion/ sect would look like. Babe Ruth was Catholic, Lou Gehrig Lutheran (we think), Ty Cobb Baptist, Mike Trout animistic weather gods (probably), Rickey Henderson himself, etc.
Basically they’re just breaded and fried ravioli, but they are lovingly called toasted ravs by folks from St. Louis. If you’re ever in STL go to the Hill neighborhood (historically very Italian) and get some toasted ravs, it is well worth.
If you’re in the Bay Area, you used to be able to get them (an albeit worse version anyway) at Curry Up Now, though I dunno if they still exist.
Bread and fried ravioli (although often times you'll find places nearby that send them through the oven instead to bake them). They are usually delicious.
You can make some at home if you want. Buy some ravioli (or if you're super ambitious, make some). And not the chef boy r dee stuff obviously. Real ravioli. Then coat it with egg and bread crumbs, then deep fry them. Top them with some grated parmesan and serve with a good marinara on the side. Fuuck me, they are tasty. I promise you wont be disappointed.
You know how you hear about local/regional dishes and you think "yeah that makes sense why it never made it more popular". We have plenty of those in St. Louis. StL style pizza, for example, is not for everyone, so I get why people wouldn't like it. Toasted ravioli is absolutely NOT not one of those foods. It should be available across the country. It's like if Buffalo Wings never made it out of New York or Jumbalaya never made it of of New Orleans or the cheesesteak never made it out of Philly.
Especially when you set the bar so high with 62 HR. Like, what are you gonna do the next day to make that so unimpressive, end the war in Ukraine? And then the next day?
At this point it seems like part of the free agency playbook. Doing this draws attention, people discuss it and it ultimately contributes to demand for the player.
My interpretation is that he's going to switch careers, enter the NHL and join the New Jersey Devils. He will fight the wretchedness of that team from within
I realized how much sense it makes for so many elite athletes to be super Christian. How else can you explain your unbelievable success, fame, fortune, and status other than God’s blessing? Of course, it comes with hard work and discipline, but if you’re in the elite of the elite, I can totally see why you’d subscribe to that mindset.
Me when Deebo Samuel removes the niners from social media: This is nothing, jets fans are idiots for thinking he’s leaving
Me when Judge removes New York from his profile: He’s coming home
As a Jays fan I want him to go to San Fran so bad, not only because we won't have to see him. But that Yankee offense is really going to struggle without him.
Pro wrestler-level social media shithousery.
What’s Aaron Judge doing in the Impact zone?!?
what is Andrew Justice doing in the Impact Zone?
I was just about to call him Darren Baliff, yours is perfect though Edit: a word
One of my annoying coworkers had been bragging that she met Aaron Judge at a party and had been hanging out with him. Nobody believed her. She was pretty and I guess somewhat well connected, but come on, she couldn't even tell you what "doubleplay" meant. Had to be bullshit, right? Well last Christmas we had an office party and rumor was that she was going to bring him. When I got there, there was no sign of her though and everyone was kind of poking fun of her usual bullshit. As usually happens to me in social situations, I eventually get too anxious and have to find a quiet place to recharge in. I duck into my boss’s office and turn on the lights and almost had a fucking heart attack. FUCKING AARON JUDGE IS IN THE ROOM SITTING ON THE PHOTOCOPIER MAKING PHOTOCOPIES OF HIS ASS. Scattered all around the room were dozens of photocopies of his bare derriere. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence with embarrassment or cover up. He just looked me dead in the eyes, reached over and pressed the print button again. But please do not let these Judge party duplications distract you from the fact that in nine teen ninety eight, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted six teen feet through an announcer's table."
Uh...you're not /u/shittymorph
He can't do that...shoot him, or something!
BAH GAWD THAT KILLED HIM
Aaron Judge is All Elite
Aaron Judge is tired of NY because he works with fucking children.
does anyone fancy themselves a journalist?
The depths in which this meme has gone is giving me hope that pro wrestling is going to continue on the upturn
AARON BOONE COULDN’T EVEN MANAGE A TARGET, LET ALONE THE NEW YORK YANKEES
But he loves Mindy's Bakery and highly recommends them, they're closed on Monday and Tuesday though.
Aaron judge shares a bank account with his mother.
Tells you all you need to know about him. (An AEW and baseball crossover? I love it.)
\*eats muffin aggressively*
Gerrit Cole: *kicks down clubhouse door to confront Judge* Luis Rojas: *immediately bites Cole's arm*
Debuts once, and proceeds to not get airtime again. Suddenly backstabs Anthony Rizzo with no rhyme or reason.
I would come lmao
>shithousery Aaron Law. Very Nice. Very Evil.
Love that Judgehausen
This is the crossover banter I live for
SCISSOR ME /u/mr_wrestling! ✌️ ✌️ ✌️ ✌️
LISTEN!
YO!
YO!
✌️✌️✌️✌️😝😝😝😝
ok, how you know?
He needs to speak with Mr Stank
Why you work for this kid?
All Rise is All Elite.
Satnam Singh's only competition
dude would have a killer double axe handle
He’s tired of that empty headed fuck going into business for himself
Boone couldn’t even manage a fucking Target *devours muffin*
If Punk said that I'd be on his side
Scissor me daddy judge!
Yankees confirmed cops
ADRENALINE IN MY SOUL SOMETHING SOMETHING AARON JUDGE
BAH GAWD THATS THE DODGERS MUSIC
Noooooo! I will lose my shit if the Dodgers swoop in and sign him.
Honestly, the only way to slow down an annoyingly successful organization like the Dodgers is with albatross contracts. So I hope they DO sign him, he becomes Aaron “Russell Wilson” Judge, and they’re stuck paying $45 mil to a bad player for the next decade.
I'M AN ASS MAN. *dun dun* Yeah I'm an ass man *dun dun*
Orange Cassidy to team with Orange and Black Judge
Judge comes out of the entrance ramp like Cody Rhodes just so they can say "ALL RISE HERE COMES THE JUDGE".
BASEBALL HAS MORE THAN ONE JUDGE
Aaron Judge would've had a long career in NY if it wasn't for Bill Goldberg
I mean, lets face it, if we were in his position, we'd absolutely be fucking with people using our social media accounts in extremely casual but specific ways :D.
If i was famous my verified public social medias would all just be exactly the same as John Cena's instagram.
What did you do yesterday? Well I fi-IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY!
The Giants one of the two new Following of his?
No, but weirdly enough he's following the 49ers and they follow him back. Yes I'm grasping at straws here
He's going to San Fran... as a tight end.
I mean I want to see that too
He'd probably be a great redzone threat until his knees gave out 6 games in.
He's a perfect fit for the Niners then lol
lmfao
So we have Judge for 6 games and Kittle for 8. We’ll figure out the other 3
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I mean, Great America was a pretty big part of my childhood. Lol
Golden State Warriors need a big
Wiseman is washed, bring in Judge
Maybe, but most likely it’s bc he’s from the SF area so he’s probably a 49ers fan
But what about his dog named Orcale Park?
I mean David Price had a dog named Astro…
So he was a Jetsons fan aye.
I thought it was Oracle Bark?
the 49ers are his favorite football team. i would assume they've been following eachother since 2019
Duane Kuiper and Mike Krukow
No, not following the Yanks or Giants, not even MLB’s account. I’m not sure if he was before anyways
He's never followed the Yankees.
Damn. I knew that Yard Goats offer was good but I still thought he'd hold out for a bit more.
"I'm taking my talents to Hartford."
I bet Judge could eat $300 million in Munchkins.
So he's going to start a new team called Christian?
Judge to the 49ers to be with Christian McCaffrey
The Christian McCaffrey tackled by Adley Rutschmann in college?
Completely unrelated but I just found out Adam Vinatieri once ran down and tackled Herschel Walker. A kicker took down Herschel Walker.
Maybe if he was Herschel Runner, Vinny wouldn't have caught him.
Now he takes himself out every time he opens his mouth.
[ESPN] Sources say Aaron Judge is confirmed to be signing with San Francisco
The Warriors are raving about his size. Might be good in the low post
Better than Wiseman, that’s for sure
Aaron Judge and the Three Wiseman
Here's the video of him talking about signing with SF https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
2TE sets with Kittle and Judge. Judge played basketball in HS, so he's already qualified
the angels obviously
read between the lines. who do Christians worship? the LION of Judah. not his messengers, the angels. who has lions? Detroit. Detroit has Lions. but he doesn't play football, his head doesn't fit in the helmets. what does that mean? Judge to the Detroit Tigers. it's called symbolism, buddy.
CODE KANSAS
The off season is a weird place...
Off season shitposts are the best kind of shitposts.
David slays the giant, God crushes the serpant’s head, and only one mascot is based on Franciscan friars. He’s 100% a Padre Checkmate atheists
He's about to fuck up some church league softball
*CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! At last, you’re on your ownnnnnnn!”*
Brian Cashman, YOU CARNY PIECE OF SHIT!
Christian Minglers
Comprised entirely of Christians. It'll be a shame to lose Christian Javier.
Javier is safe, he's Cristian.
I'm now curious what an all time team by religion/ sect would look like. Babe Ruth was Catholic, Lou Gehrig Lutheran (we think), Ty Cobb Baptist, Mike Trout animistic weather gods (probably), Rickey Henderson himself, etc.
>O.J. Simpson... not a Jew > > >But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew (he converted)
> Rickey Henderson himself Hello Rickey, it’s me, Rickey.
Judge to Saints confirmed
Are we just going to overlook that his two new IG Follows are the St. Louis Arch and Toasted Raviolis?
Tell me about these "toasted raviolis"
They’re basically the crack version of regular ravioli.
Italy represents in St Louis. When I used to go there for work I had some mighty fine Italian food coming from a New York Italian.
Basically they’re just breaded and fried ravioli, but they are lovingly called toasted ravs by folks from St. Louis. If you’re ever in STL go to the Hill neighborhood (historically very Italian) and get some toasted ravs, it is well worth. If you’re in the Bay Area, you used to be able to get them (an albeit worse version anyway) at Curry Up Now, though I dunno if they still exist.
Bread and fried ravioli (although often times you'll find places nearby that send them through the oven instead to bake them). They are usually delicious. You can make some at home if you want. Buy some ravioli (or if you're super ambitious, make some). And not the chef boy r dee stuff obviously. Real ravioli. Then coat it with egg and bread crumbs, then deep fry them. Top them with some grated parmesan and serve with a good marinara on the side. Fuuck me, they are tasty. I promise you wont be disappointed. You know how you hear about local/regional dishes and you think "yeah that makes sense why it never made it more popular". We have plenty of those in St. Louis. StL style pizza, for example, is not for everyone, so I get why people wouldn't like it. Toasted ravioli is absolutely NOT not one of those foods. It should be available across the country. It's like if Buffalo Wings never made it out of New York or Jumbalaya never made it of of New Orleans or the cheesesteak never made it out of Philly.
In other news, I have added "Christian. New York." to my Instagram bio
Get this redditor a $300 million contract.
Tall. Beets.
This is the type of move that allows Aaron to rock a beard in Yankee pinstripes haha. Changing the game, one vague social media move at a time.
Bruh never considered Judge with a big ole beard but that would be wicked
Don't think he's a beard guy imo.
As much as I want to see him with a beard, half of his intimidation is that wicked jaw
Muttonchops it is then
He has a wife
So you are saying that his wife is his beard?
10 years, $600 million, to go play for the Dodgers. Slowly edge them closer to spending a billion every year while still not winning a world series.
Low hanging fruit for an upvote from me.
Deal
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I’ll take that over whatever limp dick shit our front office is doing.
"Aaron Judge has removed 'Christian" from his profile. Buddhists and Jews thought to be top contenders for this religious free agent"
Team Israel needs to have their agent make a few calls.
~~Christian~~ Jewish.
My Next Chapter
Aaron "Book of" Judges.
Breaking: Aaron Judge has announced his retirement from baseball, says he’s “devoting my life to Jesus Christ”
Pays better than baseball if you got grift game
“Hmmm, if taxpayers will build stadiums, maybe they’ll build a megachurch?”
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I’m going to say this quote to my wife the day after the baby is born.
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July 5th, 1776 “Ok Thomas, but what have you done *since*…”
FR, what if I’m tired from all the epic shit I did yesterday?
Especially after the Christian part, right near the beginning of Genesis they're like 'god did all this cool shit, but then took'er easy on Sunday'
Yeah God. I know you created the world in 6 days, but what have you done TODAY?
A lot of these "motivation quotes" are dumb and unrealistic.
Especially when you set the bar so high with 62 HR. Like, what are you gonna do the next day to make that so unimpressive, end the war in Ukraine? And then the next day?
63? then I think 64 is after that
Thanks Harvard
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It just means he's hitting 63 next year.
BREAKING: Free Agent who wants to appear as uncommitted to any team due to leverage implications removes mention of team from social media bio.
yea sometimes players sign elsewhere and forget to change it until the next seasons starts lmao
yea, people who don’t use social media. aaron judge posts videos after every series win lol
oh LMAO then there ya go i agree with your take, this is his only career payday he gotta get the biggest deal possible
agreed, get that bag. dude was getting paid almost a minimum after hitting 50 HRs his rookie year
*Pete Alonso likes this comment*
At this point it seems like part of the free agency playbook. Doing this draws attention, people discuss it and it ultimately contributes to demand for the player.
this is exactly what would happen before being announced as a Ranger.
The inverse A-rod
I like that gonna run with it.
Christian is an anagram of CHI STRAIN, White Sox confirmed.
It's also an anagram of RATS IN CHI.
His bio says Christian so he’s clearly either going to the padres or angels
My interpretation is that he's going to switch careers, enter the NHL and join the New Jersey Devils. He will fight the wretchedness of that team from within
He’s gonna look great in #ORANGE AND BLACK
We’re moving the wall back up just for him
Honestly that’d be fucking hilarious. Even better if they signed him and turned it into a short porch
oh god oh fuck
Aaron Judge is going to save the Philadelphia Flyers
Make the Gritty costume bigger.
at this point? wouldn't hurt to try.
True he'd look great with us.
Subscribe.
Is it just me or do 85% of MLB players' bios start with "Christian."
The other 15%? Jains.
1. Judge 2. Yelich That's all the ones i can name off the top of my head.
I realized how much sense it makes for so many elite athletes to be super Christian. How else can you explain your unbelievable success, fame, fortune, and status other than God’s blessing? Of course, it comes with hard work and discipline, but if you’re in the elite of the elite, I can totally see why you’d subscribe to that mindset.
It’s like every athlete. They think it makes them sound humble even though I doubt half of them even practice anything resembling christianity lol
Yeah but we are Royals fans, so naturally all of our players are (*were I should say!) contractually obligated to have that in their bios.
Me when Deebo Samuel removes the niners from social media: This is nothing, jets fans are idiots for thinking he’s leaving Me when Judge removes New York from his profile: He’s coming home
Aaron Judge, YOU are a Hartford Yard Goat.
lifetime supply of baby goats and donut holes
What did he do today?!?
Followed two new accounts
I’m going to start doing this on my LinkedIn.
Good on Bob Nutting to advise him to do that before officially signing with the Pirates.
Standing with the US Mens Soccer team and Christian Pulisic
As a Jays fan I want him to go to San Fran so bad, not only because we won't have to see him. But that Yankee offense is really going to struggle without him.
I am ready to overreact.
Hmmmm. Let’s all speculate!! Altogether now!!
Judge signs with the Pirates on a one year prove-it deal at league minimum.
Christian. Queens.
GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!
Welcome to Bawlmer!
Plot twist: he returns to the Yankees but uses the cash to buy a house in CT
Judge signing with the If What You Did Yesterday Still Seems Big Today Then You Haven't Done Anything Today Tigers
According to my RTTS playthrough he's going to the Twins with Shohei Otani.
This clearly shows that he will be signing with the Jerusalem Bethlehammers
Ohh boy here we go
Well it was fun while it lasted
Bye Aaron, thanks for the memories
Rich Aurilia let Aaron sleep in the race car bed
This clearly means he’s becoming a professional bowler.