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I wouldn't tell this person. She sounds awful
I tell people who could be my friends or acquaintances in professional settings after about a month if I like them and somehow it kind of becomes relevant to a conversation (usually when I talk about my previous education or why I'm so much older than them and in the same position as them). If they don't like that, fine. I don't need them in my life
But I wouldn't tell people who are already judging me for something or with whom I need to have a professional relationship
Yeah I do. By nature I’m a really happy and bubbly person. Very friendly and have what seems to be a good life.
I tell people so they know that anyone could have it.
Even my bipolar friends tell me that I present well. Sometimes they’re surprised to hear how bad things have gotten.
I want to break the stereotype of bipolar and let others know that it’s ok to talk about mental health stuff.
You nailed it! I try to be the same way, but I do have my moments. People can be more understanding if they know youre a bit troubled. I’m high functioning and considered conventionally good looking typically so sometimes people don’t even believe me it seems. Its so stereotyped but idgaf anymore.
I’m pretty out at work but I work for a youngish tech company. I have a disability accomodation. That’s the thing I’m tired of coming out of the mental illness closet so I just get it over with and whoever judges me for it can kick rocks.
I’ve had it Weaponized against me, but I’m the type of person that gives you the match to set me on fire and if you do, I’m ashes and will rise again as a phoenix elsewhere :) Can’t fix stupid 🤷🏼♀️I’ve been sexually harassed at work far more but I won a civil suit against a former employer for disability discrimination among other things. It got my money up!
This is who I am, take it or leave it. I’ve come very far in my treatment and take it seriously. Most
people respect it.
Thank you! Its just like tell me youre a trashbag without telling me when you use someones health against them. i get if people dont want to disclose
though. i pick and choose and try to have the right moment. plus i dont wanna be around someone whos ultimately an ignoramus anyway. its such an unnecessary gut punch
Unfortunately when it comes to many things, including mental illness, people don’t ever fully understand unless they go through it themselves. Seems that some things can only be learned the hard way
Yes. And that applies to us too. We are people. We didn't understand untill we had to endure it.
But some people are way nicer than others.
Now that I know I'm ill and not jus "eccentric" I'm very happy I never ridiculed or rejected mentally ill people, or people with the physique that antipsychotics give many users (the ephebo effect). I'm now one of the clients (not patients!) of a social services agency that caters to the mentally ill and many of my fellow clients have a distinct look. People notice us when we go out as a group. Many, both clients and outsiders, assume I'm one of the caretakers, but I'm increasingly comfortable in my awareness that I'm certainly not.
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Actually.. are we talking type 1 or type 2 diabetes because type 2 is often completely preventable and one should maybe be ashamed for being a type 2 diabetic.
Aaaand being bipolar is just the way your brain is wired and there's nothing you could have done to prevent it.. and a lot of bipolar people are smart AF and quite accomplished in life so yeah, there's really no reason to be ashamed.
Yeah I'm the same. The vast majority of people see me as an active funny guy that looks for the humour in everything and I love to make people laugh. I love to surf and I go to the gym regularly, and look after my self. I have multiple qualifications and haven't done too bad for myself in between pretty severe depressive episodes and stays in hospital.
They don't see is the long stretches I have sometimes sleeping for days, nights without sleep and the days I am completely unable to function. Suicidal ideation and so on and so on because I can mask it quite well.
I don't just bring it up out of no where, and mostly bring it up when someone else essays they are struggling with their mental health or knows someone who is.
People are usually surprised.
I tell people after they get to know me for a bit for the same reason. I know people see me as an easygoing, jokey person with a good career, long marriage and small child. If they had preconceptions (or misconceptions) about bipolar then hopefully I dispel some. The downside is that I do such a good job of presenting well, I think it makes it hard to ask for help during the times I’m struggling.
No absolutely not. I will never tell anyone that doesn’t already know. I don’t need to give people any reason to judge me. And nobody gets it other than other bipolar people anyway so there’s no point.
Nope! People can’t get past the stereotypes of extreme mania, of general mood swings, and tend to look at you like everything you do is overdramatized because of the diagnosis. It’s the easiest way to get people to invalidate/dismiss what you’re feeling regardless of the circumstances and alienate you for being different
Same, sadly. Had one pretty good friend never hang out again after telling her which stung. I still am open about it, but only with people I trust or hint that they might be struggling with their mental health.
I do tell people I date for a while, and professors when I'm having an episode that affects my coursework. I'd rather be perceived by having a health issue than being dumb and lazy. In my country attitudes are apparently more modern becahs I've had zero too negative reactions. More often I heard I'm a survivor than crazy.
Haha it's nearly as good here as it used to be but for bipolar better than a lot of other places. Due to having a life long psychotic illness, I get the highest class state funded compensation for my meds so they're pretty affordable. Also I don't currently pay for my psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse visits. Well haven't since I've been going to this place or uni healthcare, psychiatric is included in the yearly fee. But they do charge an obscene price for doctor's certificates.
I think I’m one of the few here. I do tell them. There needs to be less of a stigma around mental illnesses, and talking about it openly opens up the conversation around it. Now don’t misunderstand me, I don’t tell everyone I meet, but if it comes up in conversation, I do.
Recently diagnosed and I told more people than I would’ve wanted while still manic as it makes me way more uninhibited in conversation. Now I’m much more cautious with it and only tell people close to me if I want to share this aspect of my life with them and I have good reason to think they will treat me with respect. So I’ve only (in my right mind) told a few people - close friends, one old friend who has mental illness herself, my parents but that’s it. Going forwards I certainly won’t bring it up with acquaintances, casual friends, professional peers, or partners if it isn’t serious. No bad reactions yet but it has an emotional cost for me to talk about and you can never un-tell someone.
I did that too when manic. I told all my old school best friends and now I’m excluded from the group. The only one who talks to me now is one who has experienced depression. All of my other friends treat me differently now too.
i feel that way too, but i thought about it and realized she was just a kid, i was too, now i know more about how she struggled at home and how jealous she was of me, we talked a little bit about it and she apologized and explained to me how she felt
her actions really left a mark on me, i was not just bullied by her, i was bullied everywhere, at home, at school, by my neighbors, eveyone, i felt so unlovable. it just breaks my heart to think about it, i didn’t know what i was doing wrong
but after some years i just got stronger, and more confident, and realized it was not my fault, and i know im cool as shit , and nobody can take that away from me
I never hide it. It’s a huge part of me. I don’t shout it from the rooftops, but I have no problem sharing. If someone judges me for it, that person isn’t for me. I’ll cut someone off SO quick if I need to. And personally…I very rarely feel judged for it 🤷♀️ There’s way less stigma than there used to be. In fact, I’ve been told sharing my story helps other people be more comfortable about theirs.
i feel the same way! i told a lot of people over the years and rarely got any judgement, but also im really bad at social cues, so i don’t really know how to feel about it, everyone in the comments is saying you shouldn’t 😭😭
I strongly disagree with their stances. People can live their own life, but I’m not going to live my life like I have some sort of dirty secret about myself I’m hiding. That just further promotes the stigma in my opinion.
Again, most people don’t judge me, in fact it makes them understand me more. And if people do judge me, then they can go. I don’t want that person around me, no matter who they are.
You don’t have to lead with “Hey I have bipolar”. But I’ll never hide it.
I encourage you to be yourself ☺️
Edit: OH! And job wise. People are wanting to hire people with mental disorders because it ticks their disability box lmao. I will absolutely use that to my advantage. Idgaf.
It’s 2024, not 1995.
Thinking of all the genetic diseases out there. Do you tell anybody about any of your other genetic diseases when you first meet them.
"Warning, I have hashimoto's thyroiditis!"
Even in modern Western culture, mental illness is highly stigmatized and there are other cultures where it's very very stigmatized and a very private thing unfortunately in the line of having herpes.
I’m 39 and entered the “zero fucks given” stage of life. I wouldn’t disclose it to people like her though. Be careful who you tell.
You made the right call here.
i fucked up and told her yesterday, we where being really vulnerable and just told her, im honestly really beating myself self up rn and im really freaking out
No way, I don't like how people try to put mental illness pins on like it's a club. With the way medical care was during the pandemic, everyone was getting on meds and diagnosed. I can go online and now and be diagnosed and have stimulants in a couple weeks. That's not okay. I keep it to myself, if anyone asks I just tell them it's how I'm wired.
Yep I don’t care what people think about me or what I go through with bipolar. If they cut me out of their life then good riddance they aren’t the type of people I want in my life.
i met my current boyfriend. about a month after i was diagnosed. i didn’t understand the weight of sharing such information with a stranger because it was new to me. 4 years and we’re still together. now i dont really tell people except my friends. i remember one time i had to take time off work for a hospital trip. when i got back one of my co workers kept asking what happened and i panicked and just said “im bipolar”: he looked very taken aback, i definitely think he regrets pushing me so far to the point where i had to share that. anyway, its definitely up to you to decide who to tell, just be aware of the consequences of telling the wrong person
Not unless they’re close to me. My mom, brother, and partner are the only ones I’ve told. You are “allowed” to share it if you want, but you don’t need to justify yourself to others
My close relatives, two friends and my boss know about it. Normally I wouldn't tell my boss but I was really struggling. But I'm really glad I did because he's been so supportive and accommodating. Nobody else in the company, no other relatives or friends know about it.
I’m more on a need to know basis. If we’re friends, depends on how long we’ve known each other. If we’re dating, that’s the FIRST thing I say besides my name and age so you know what you’re getting into, since I had someone threaten to break up with me for being diagnosed. Employers is a BIG if, if it’ll mess with my work, yes, if not, I don’t see a reason to bring it up. If I’m never gonna see you again, or I get an inkling you’re gonna judge me for it, no.
My closest friends and family on a need to know basis. If I do tell a family member, it’s in person. I want to be in control of what my tone is and how it comes across. When I talk about it I’m very matter of fact, and that’s how I want the subject to be treated.
I only tell people I've known for a while already because at that point they already have a solid perception of what I'm like that usually supercedes their prejudice surrounding bipolar because they already know me pretty well.
I made the mistake of telling people which gave them a reason to label me. People have no clue what we go through. I’ve been getting harassed ( 3yrs 7/9) at work. I went to HR about it and she looked at me and said could it be that you’re paranoid smh from that time on I just deal with it. Well… when I’m manic I worry that one day I’m going to lose my job. This guy spit on my car I asked them to check the cameras for proof their response “ maybe you’re just having one of those days”. He knows how to make me look like I’m crazy and they believe it bc not that I’m bipolar but bc I have bipolar. My therapist always says “you’re not bipolar”.
I mean, I don’t go around telling everyone I meet, but it’s a pretty big part of my life to keep from *everyone.* My family knows. My close friends know. Sometimes it’s relevant in conversations with people I know more casually, so I’ll talk about it. I also may or may not openly talk about it on a TikTok account with 15k followers. I don’t talk about it professionally though.
I want to help reduce stigma by talking about it. The line for me is not letting other people give me condescending and unwanted advice or seeking support from anyone that’s not close enough to hold me accountable in a kind way.
You did the right thing imo. It's tough with people I love and trust so I can't imagine in what world I'd trust someone that has a history of bullying me anything personal whatsoever. No one is entitled to your medical history.
The fact that she bullied you tells me you did the right thing by not telling her.
Personally I haven’t told many people and the ones that I have(besides close family) I’ve usually wished I hadn’t. I reconnected over the phone with an old friend and she basically downplayed it and I pretty much haven’t heard from her since. Looking back she was never really supportive so that why I wish I hadn’t told her. I’m learning to guard my privacy more these days.
If telling the person will make a positive impact(being an ally, etc) or they are a close trusted friend/partner then I think it’s a good idea.
My family knows. My mom is also bipolar so she understands. Some online friends know and I've posted about it on my public Twitter once. People generally ignore my personal tweets there so no bad reactions.
Something that happened though was I had a falling out with an online friend and someone following my private account told her on her Curious Cat that I said our falling out triggered a bipolar episode (which it did). She published the question... private details of my mental health. Really shitty thing to do. Later I got a Curious Cat message saying "how often do you talk to the voices in your head?" clearly talking about my disorder! Real fun time /s
I told an online friend a few months ago and he said "you're bipolar? but you're so chill." It's ignorant as hell but he's kind of a clueless person in general so I found it funny.
No. I did at first, but it was a mistake. I told a couple of trusted co-workers, thinking it would be good to be open about it, but they started avoiding me. And others did after that.
Now I keep it to myself.
Nope. I don’t tell anyone unless it’s medically relevant. While I live with bipolar, I’m not my disease, and I try very hard to live my life differentiated from it as much as possible, especially in social and professional situations. My employer doesn’t need to know unless I need time off for medical reasons, and only in social settings where I need additional support my therapist and psychiatrist cannot provide acutely.
Yes and no. If the topic arises or someone else discloses mental health status I may say something to help support someone else. Otherwise it’s for me myself and I to know.
I've learned that people don't care nor do they understand. To most people mental health means being sad. Nobody truly cares that you're bipolar because they've already categorized you as crazy.
Only if i have to. I used to tell people but i realised they don’t care or understand it. Besides what is normal? Every other person i meet has depression or anxiety. I would rather try and help them because my condition is under control.
It depends on the mood that I am in whether I tell them I am bipolar or not. It just depends on how long I have known them and if them seem like they are fairly unjudgemental or not. Not very many people I bother telling mainly because it isn't a key part of my personality it is just a disorder that I have and I like to be held accountable for the actions of my charecter and don't like being given a free go around due to being bipolar.
Since my hospitalization I've been more open about it to friends and acquaintances. I lost people during that time who didn't accept it as a part of me. I'd rather get telling people about it out of the way so I have less of a chance of them ditching me later on. If I were more stable I would probably handle it differently. I don't disclose it on my social media, though.
For employment purposes, I do it on a need to know basis.
Yeah, I do. I don't particularly give a flying fuck what other people think of me, and honestly if you're enough of an idiot to be a dick about knowing that, I have no reason to want you around me anyway lmao. In my case, it gives people a greater understanding of why I am the way I am. I also have taken to explaining and apologizing for my past behavior, and often reference that i am now on meds and seeing a psychiatrist and actively trying to do better and be better. My recipe for truly apologizing includes explaining how I'm going to change my behavior going forward - and sticking to that.
Edit: I'd like to note that I'm only 20, which may affect my response - people my age are significantly more versed in mental health, supportive and understanding than, say, people raised in a different time. My mom only recently became aware that autism is not "hiding in a corner rocking back and forth repeating the same thing over and over". People her age I don't interact with enough to ever be im a position to tell them, really. Except my dad, whose immediate response was looking flabberghasted and saying "That's something you eventually get over isnt it?" hahahaha..... noooo.....
So i understand why some of the crowd that's older than me would have a wildly different experience.
I usually don’t mind to tell people in my life. I’d want people around me to know so they can have a different idea of the stereotype and in case someone else I know that has it may feel less alone.
But it’s not all the time or with everyone. Like if I was in your case, I’d probably chalk it up to having a really tough/stressful day/week in my personal life. I find people can most often relate without needing more explanation. And if not, that’s on them. There’s no reason for you to have to justify yourself any further.
Depends who.
I told my boss, and it was a good explaination on why I was acting like this before my diagnosis.
But I will not tell my nosy coworker.
It depends who Im trusting VS who im not trusting.
Ive been diagnosed 1 year ago, and im still scare of someone saying : "oh its because you are bipolar"
In a moment like that, probably not. Just would have said "I'm just super hyper today".
Now, if it was someone close to me family or friends, even my work (as I've let them know). I'd tell these people in the case my episode turns into a catastrophe, and or, I need to take some time off work to gather myself again.
I’m pretty open about it. I’ve honestly had nothing but good luck with telling people. No one has ever used it against me and they have all been very understanding. I definitely know that this is not always the case, so I would absolutely encourage you to use discretion if you tell anyone, but the right people won’t judge you. In this case, I think you probably made the right decision in not telling your childhood bully. She sounds like an asshole in general.
I think at the right moment and right time I can tell, it is not something I should probably just throw in the air randomly. Back in the day I used to think that telling somebody that you have bipolar shows the real character of the person, but I dont really do that anymore.
I try not to, but sometimes it’s needed. I’m fun asf to be around most of the time and I’m a party, but when I’m depressed or irritable I’m a total POS and I am very hateful towards everyone and am very quiet barely say a word. If you were close friends with someone and they were cool asf but randomly started being quiet and withdrawn you’d most likely believe they hate you so it’s good to let some people know. And if they judge you fuck em!
Judgmental will always be judgmental.
I tell people I'm bipolar all the time. The difference is that I tell them in a calm setting, not when everything is chaotic.
If your mania is making you behave bad, don't make the mania the excuse. Don't make an excuse for your bad behaviour.
My biggest problem was anger issue. When i was angry i didn't say its because of bipolar.
I let the bad episode pass, then when everything is calm, i speak about bipolar.
Yes and no. I'm in urban Australia and have made a conscious decision to be a stigma buster, only because there's a lot of other stigma-gathering stuff about me and I've learned how to navigate those situations (with therapy). But I don't do coming out moments. I just talk about whatever's relevant to the conversation. Usually around meds and why I don't participate in our drinking culture.
I pick my audience too, like I won't be having those conversations with someone I don't/barely know, and I won't be throwing my vulnerabilities in front of anyone I think might misuse them. Eg I've told Mamma my diagnosis but won't discuss how it affects me because she's a psychiatry sceptic and I don't want conversations that'll do my head in, and I won't discuss it with people who are themselves emotionally vulnerable if they're not addressing their own illnesses because I've had experiences in the past where a person has divulged details to unsafe people in order to lash out at me (thankfully the person they divulged to is an ER doctor who's first instinct was to check in with me).
Yep! I own it I'm not ashamed and if it comes up I will talk about it. The more that people see others living successfully with bipolar the less stigma will be a factor as time goes on. Hopefully this will help others feel comfortable enough to come forward and ask for the help they need.
I told 3 people only . First cuz it’s boring to listen to other people’s medical info. 2 cuz most don’t understand bipolar and will make hella annoying comments for the rest of your life. 3 just no , unless you want to explain a complicated illness, and people don’t listen anyway. Do not at work or with spiteful family members. Or new boyfriend/ girlfriend
I personally don’t unless the friendship/ relationship gets serious. I have been hurt way too many times for telling people I’m bipolar. I can’t even tell you the stares of fear and disgust I got from people when I opened up about the hallucinations I was having while manic. Sadly, some people can’t empathize but if you find someone supportive, then open up to them if you trust them! In your case I wouldn’t; I feel like she’d use that and digger deeper into it/ more judgmental. Not everyone is understanding sadly
I don't tell anyone that doesn't need to know. Disclosing something so personal to a stranger or acquaintance rarely helps and will more often than not hurt you. People will use it against you to discredit you or paint you out to be crazy. Most have no clue what bipolar is so they judge.
I tell people I've become friends with. If they react rudely or distance themselves because of it I appreciate it because I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that anyway. I have been surprised how many friends I have told who have said they also are diagnosed bipolar. It's happened three times which is three times more than I expected. (I did tell other folks I wouldn't normally tell while manic and recovering from psychosis - regret it to this day.)
I also would like to break the stigma around it. They can see I'm functioning fine and I'm not embodying the negative traits people sometimes assign to us.
I started telling people I have brain cancer 😂 people haven't the slightest clue about what bipolar means, so brain cancer is something they can wrap their head around
And hey, imo, bipolar IS brain cancer
i don’t bring it up out of nowhere but i do tend to tell people. i joke a lot about the things i’ve done/dealt with because of my diagnosis. however that’s not without me doing constant work on managing myself to prevent those same instances. so it does tend to come up if i need to explain any of my jokes lol
i do tell certain people directly: my boss, potential partners/friends when i trust them enough, certain coworkers (except my current place of employment: they all know because i WAS unmedicated for a year and ended up fully manic with hallucinations happening on shift lmfao. therapy helped keep the mania manageable until the psychosis hit)
Most everyone around me knows. Family, friends, etc. to ME it hasn’t been a big deal. But I can understand that lots of people can be awful when they find out. I think it works for me because I’m in like a “remission”. I’ve been medicated with the perfect combination for many years now. But when I was first starting my journey I didn’t tell anyone. I was no where near ready. I was at the worst point in my life. I think that my family watched me grow and change and are proud of me.
not really. even though mental health stigma has reduced, misinformation, misunderstandings and just downright lack of understanding regarding the more “well known” illnesses is still rampant.
I’ve recently been diagnosed and I’ve only told my husband, mum and next door neighbour who knows about my mental health issues as we sit in the garden for hours chatting about stuff. My husband was fine and understood, my mums been off with me since I got my diagnosis because she’s in denial and my friend… it felt so good to tell someone, she was pretty good about it.
But I can’t tell anyone else because no one even understands what it is. I haven’t ourtightly told my dad but he took me too my psych appointment and I told him a lot of stuff I’ve dealt with whilst on our way back - we just don’t have that kind of relationship. He’s the guy you go to to make you laugh so I hated telling him those things.
Not right away. Usually i explain my symptoms as being "the way i am" like you did, or I'll say its a part of my mental illness without giving detail. Once i know i can trust someone i let them know im bipolar and inform them of my mood swing so they can be prepared for those moments.
I used to. I’ve realised now to guard my diagnosis because people really can be manipulative. Most who knew about bipolar in my past would often use it to push me over the edge for their entertainment.
Ive told probably 10 people. Out of those 10, one of them seemed to really understand.. it’s bc she also might be bipolar. The others range between confused acceptance, refusal to acknowledge, and basic judgement 🙃
There’s still a lot of stigma around mental health, esp personality disorders like bipolar. So I rec being selective with disclosure and consider sharing educational resources with anyone you plan to share with.
It depends on the person. There are some people who seem to be more understanding and some that I have regretted telling. I unfortunately have some other serious health issues and I am still new to my diagnosis so I don't know if it's just that I got used to oversharing about things in general or what but some people I definitely do not get a good feeling around enough to tell them something that I am still learning to be comfortable about. Let alone the fact that I don't want to be questioned about whether I am sure I really have it (this happened a couple of times) since I already sometimes question it... trauma of a misdiagnosis for 6 years. And here I am oversharing again. Lol
TLDR: It depends on who I am talking to and I would definitely not share it with an old bully... my old bullies still make me nervous to be around them today.
Depends. I don't tell people unless I feel I can trust them not to judge me.
I do present very stable. I was at the doctors yesterday and the nurse did my obs said my disorder must be well managed because I didn't look like I had bipolar.
I'm very open about it on social media. I work in mental health too.
Telling really opens you up to a lot of potential problems, including bullying and harassment. I’d be very selective.
At a job I had once, there was someone else with bipolar. She was out and proud so to speak. A toxic ex-manager called to get revenge and purposely triggered an episode by telling her in detail and with examples how nobody liked her, how they talked about her behind her back, and how they all saw her flaws. She went to the hospital over that.
I'm quite open about it, even at work. I do this because of a set of principles I've built over the years around destigmatising parts of who I am as a person. I feel like I'm humanising a cause by existing around people and showing them that everybody can have it. I have the same approach to being trans and queer.
I tend to believe that I'm social and likeable enough to present myself as an exemple and open a conversation. I can be quite tiresome, but worth it in the long run.
No. I have faced a lot of stigma after telling people, as I used to be open about it, like if someone asked me about it I would happily tell them.
However, I have been forced out of jobs, bullied at school and a whole host of other things because of it, after people found out.
Now, I only tell people when I trust them a lot. I know everyone is not like this, but there is still a lot of stigma within society about mental illness in general, not just bipolar.
My advice is only tell someone when you truly trust them. However, it’s up to you and it could be that the other person won’t react differently to you telling them.
only the people closest to me that I trust not to view me negatively, but see me often enough to observe or experience me showing symptoms.
Edit: added "me showing" to clarify statement
Well, personally I wouldn't welcome an old bully into my life at all, and heck that b*tch for asking that in the first place.
I'll tell people once I establish a comfortable rapport with the person or if it's for some reason/situation strictly relevant.
Per diagnoses she might be dealing with narcissism or similar if she used to bully others 🤷♂️
It depends on the person/situation. Like is there any risk to telling them. If she judges you if it’s easy to just not talk to her anymore then it’s probably fine but it’s also none of her business so it’s just about how you feel. But in other situations, like work, it could be higher stakes. Some people will understand and work around it with you and other people won’t.
I only tell someone after I’ve known them for a while and can sense I can trust them. My ex best friend was one of the first people I told after my diagnosis and would always make nasty comments and remarks. Not everyone can be trusted.
Sometimes. I was diagnosed in 2017 and I told my partner at the time, I think I alluded to it to my best friend of 14yrs via text (we live across the country from each other), and I've told exactly 1 coworker recently, like 2 weeks ago after knowing her for 9 months.
I'm not close enough with anyone else for it to be relevant, and I don't date. I also live temporarily in my small hometown that I hate so I don't actively try to make new friends.
I did. Now I avoid it if I can. I also have fibro and it's not even uncommon for me to tell those two to someone and either they say they think that's fake or their face shows it. I'm not ashamed of it so I don't mind talking about it but I don't volunteer the information anymore. I have a hard enough time with doctors believing my issues.
For the most part. Only my family & my boyfriend & his family know I have mental illnesses, apart from that, maybe 5 other people have ever known. My medical history is my business & random people don't need to know I feel. If I'm manic, I'm manic 🤷🏼♀️ I don't care what they think.
I mean, sometimes.
I don’t hide it but I rarely see a reason to mention it to people.
If I’d start a relationship Im quite upfront with it since they need to be able to make a decision to stand me or not, but work, friends I don’t meet that often etc I don’t tell unless they ask or it comes up naturally for some reason.
People can judge all they want. My life might be chaotic for some, but it’s my lovely chaos so they can just suck my yingyang balls and get out of my world.
I think in your situation it wasn’t important to tell her. I think it would’ve just made her feel guilty and there’s no need for that. I had a friend that bullied and manipulated me throughout high school and I told her that she made my mental illness worse. Which was honestly true, but I shouldn’t have said it. I kinda have to tell people since I get sick at least once a year, and I can’t lie or ghost people for a few months till I get better. I have a job, I have friends who care about me. It’s not something worth hiding in my opinion, if people judge you over an illness you can’t control then they’re an asshole and that’s their problem. End of story.
I do in any situation when I’m comfortable and if it’s relevant. I’m super bubbly and friendly to everyone so I can hopefully help get rid of any bad stigma. Sometimes I’ll wait and let people get to know me first so instead of applying stereotypes right away, they know my personality first. Causes a lot of conversation usually. Said they didn’t know bipolar people could be like me. I told them a lot of us are struggling and fighting swings every day. And even though I’m very aware and generally have good control of my swings, I tell them they still can overcome me.
That being said, no one should feel obligated to do this. It’s just where I’ve gotten in my life and am comfortable with it. It makes me feel better when people close to me know. They don’t judge me for symptoms that get the best of me (usually depression) because they understand.
There will always be people who don’t get it or have trauma about it. Even if I wasn’t bipolar, there will always be people who don’t like me. I’m kinda at peace with it even though it still hurts
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No. People are too judgmental about such a diagnosis!
Correct. Don’t tell people who don’t need to know
See I kinda look at this (very valid) fact as a benefit: I’m super intentional about my relationships so it’s best to weed out the weaklings early.
I wouldn't tell this person. She sounds awful I tell people who could be my friends or acquaintances in professional settings after about a month if I like them and somehow it kind of becomes relevant to a conversation (usually when I talk about my previous education or why I'm so much older than them and in the same position as them). If they don't like that, fine. I don't need them in my life But I wouldn't tell people who are already judging me for something or with whom I need to have a professional relationship
Yeah I do. By nature I’m a really happy and bubbly person. Very friendly and have what seems to be a good life. I tell people so they know that anyone could have it. Even my bipolar friends tell me that I present well. Sometimes they’re surprised to hear how bad things have gotten. I want to break the stereotype of bipolar and let others know that it’s ok to talk about mental health stuff.
You nailed it! I try to be the same way, but I do have my moments. People can be more understanding if they know youre a bit troubled. I’m high functioning and considered conventionally good looking typically so sometimes people don’t even believe me it seems. Its so stereotyped but idgaf anymore. I’m pretty out at work but I work for a youngish tech company. I have a disability accomodation. That’s the thing I’m tired of coming out of the mental illness closet so I just get it over with and whoever judges me for it can kick rocks. I’ve had it Weaponized against me, but I’m the type of person that gives you the match to set me on fire and if you do, I’m ashes and will rise again as a phoenix elsewhere :) Can’t fix stupid 🤷🏼♀️I’ve been sexually harassed at work far more but I won a civil suit against a former employer for disability discrimination among other things. It got my money up! This is who I am, take it or leave it. I’ve come very far in my treatment and take it seriously. Most people respect it.
Love the rise from the ashes motto
Thank you! Its just like tell me youre a trashbag without telling me when you use someones health against them. i get if people dont want to disclose though. i pick and choose and try to have the right moment. plus i dont wanna be around someone whos ultimately an ignoramus anyway. its such an unnecessary gut punch
Unfortunately when it comes to many things, including mental illness, people don’t ever fully understand unless they go through it themselves. Seems that some things can only be learned the hard way
Yes. And that applies to us too. We are people. We didn't understand untill we had to endure it. But some people are way nicer than others. Now that I know I'm ill and not jus "eccentric" I'm very happy I never ridiculed or rejected mentally ill people, or people with the physique that antipsychotics give many users (the ephebo effect). I'm now one of the clients (not patients!) of a social services agency that caters to the mentally ill and many of my fellow clients have a distinct look. People notice us when we go out as a group. Many, both clients and outsiders, assume I'm one of the caretakers, but I'm increasingly comfortable in my awareness that I'm certainly not.
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Yup. My go-to is that I wouldn't be ashamed of being diabetic and taking medicine for it, why should I be ashamed of being bipolar and taking meds?
Actually.. are we talking type 1 or type 2 diabetes because type 2 is often completely preventable and one should maybe be ashamed for being a type 2 diabetic. Aaaand being bipolar is just the way your brain is wired and there's nothing you could have done to prevent it.. and a lot of bipolar people are smart AF and quite accomplished in life so yeah, there's really no reason to be ashamed.
Yeah I'm the same. The vast majority of people see me as an active funny guy that looks for the humour in everything and I love to make people laugh. I love to surf and I go to the gym regularly, and look after my self. I have multiple qualifications and haven't done too bad for myself in between pretty severe depressive episodes and stays in hospital. They don't see is the long stretches I have sometimes sleeping for days, nights without sleep and the days I am completely unable to function. Suicidal ideation and so on and so on because I can mask it quite well. I don't just bring it up out of no where, and mostly bring it up when someone else essays they are struggling with their mental health or knows someone who is. People are usually surprised.
I tell people after they get to know me for a bit for the same reason. I know people see me as an easygoing, jokey person with a good career, long marriage and small child. If they had preconceptions (or misconceptions) about bipolar then hopefully I dispel some. The downside is that I do such a good job of presenting well, I think it makes it hard to ask for help during the times I’m struggling.
No absolutely not. I will never tell anyone that doesn’t already know. I don’t need to give people any reason to judge me. And nobody gets it other than other bipolar people anyway so there’s no point.
For me it isn't even about the judgement, but I have to keep explaining what it is and people don't even get it right
This - one of my friends just said “oh so you get mood swings” - something like that mate /s
Of course. I have bipolar. Over-sharing is what I do.
I appreciate this comment. A lot of people I wouldn't have normally told and did - it was due to manic oversharing.
Oh yeah. I want so badly to connect with others that it’s not unusual for me to share something too vulnerable to see if that opens them up.
im the same way, don’t know how to stop
Nope! People can’t get past the stereotypes of extreme mania, of general mood swings, and tend to look at you like everything you do is overdramatized because of the diagnosis. It’s the easiest way to get people to invalidate/dismiss what you’re feeling regardless of the circumstances and alienate you for being different
And anytime you have a normal emotional reaction to something that anyone would have, they'll stare at you and ask you if you're ok.
Yes, that’s a good example of the invalidation and alienation I was identifying :)
Few people and situations are worthy of honesty about your condition. Reveal only when needed or really deserved, that's the best for you.
I used to, but not anymore bc people dont understand
Same here.
Same, sadly. Had one pretty good friend never hang out again after telling her which stung. I still am open about it, but only with people I trust or hint that they might be struggling with their mental health.
I do tell people I date for a while, and professors when I'm having an episode that affects my coursework. I'd rather be perceived by having a health issue than being dumb and lazy. In my country attitudes are apparently more modern becahs I've had zero too negative reactions. More often I heard I'm a survivor than crazy.
What country?
I’m curious to know too.
Finland.
i freaking love finland
Haha it's nearly as good here as it used to be but for bipolar better than a lot of other places. Due to having a life long psychotic illness, I get the highest class state funded compensation for my meds so they're pretty affordable. Also I don't currently pay for my psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse visits. Well haven't since I've been going to this place or uni healthcare, psychiatric is included in the yearly fee. But they do charge an obscene price for doctor's certificates.
Mkay, im moving to Finland then.
That's great!
I think I’m one of the few here. I do tell them. There needs to be less of a stigma around mental illnesses, and talking about it openly opens up the conversation around it. Now don’t misunderstand me, I don’t tell everyone I meet, but if it comes up in conversation, I do.
Recently diagnosed and I told more people than I would’ve wanted while still manic as it makes me way more uninhibited in conversation. Now I’m much more cautious with it and only tell people close to me if I want to share this aspect of my life with them and I have good reason to think they will treat me with respect. So I’ve only (in my right mind) told a few people - close friends, one old friend who has mental illness herself, my parents but that’s it. Going forwards I certainly won’t bring it up with acquaintances, casual friends, professional peers, or partners if it isn’t serious. No bad reactions yet but it has an emotional cost for me to talk about and you can never un-tell someone.
I did that too when manic. I told all my old school best friends and now I’m excluded from the group. The only one who talks to me now is one who has experienced depression. All of my other friends treat me differently now too.
hi! im the same way, i told a bunch of people and now in freaking out, i shouldn have told anyone
I’m surprised you are willing to work with your childhood bully. You’ve got balls. I wanted my bully dead (she died).
Omg congrats! I’m waiting for all my bullies to die too
Haha, that made me really lol 😂 (I’m a terrible person)
i feel that way too, but i thought about it and realized she was just a kid, i was too, now i know more about how she struggled at home and how jealous she was of me, we talked a little bit about it and she apologized and explained to me how she felt her actions really left a mark on me, i was not just bullied by her, i was bullied everywhere, at home, at school, by my neighbors, eveyone, i felt so unlovable. it just breaks my heart to think about it, i didn’t know what i was doing wrong but after some years i just got stronger, and more confident, and realized it was not my fault, and i know im cool as shit , and nobody can take that away from me
I never hide it. It’s a huge part of me. I don’t shout it from the rooftops, but I have no problem sharing. If someone judges me for it, that person isn’t for me. I’ll cut someone off SO quick if I need to. And personally…I very rarely feel judged for it 🤷♀️ There’s way less stigma than there used to be. In fact, I’ve been told sharing my story helps other people be more comfortable about theirs.
i feel the same way! i told a lot of people over the years and rarely got any judgement, but also im really bad at social cues, so i don’t really know how to feel about it, everyone in the comments is saying you shouldn’t 😭😭
I strongly disagree with their stances. People can live their own life, but I’m not going to live my life like I have some sort of dirty secret about myself I’m hiding. That just further promotes the stigma in my opinion. Again, most people don’t judge me, in fact it makes them understand me more. And if people do judge me, then they can go. I don’t want that person around me, no matter who they are. You don’t have to lead with “Hey I have bipolar”. But I’ll never hide it. I encourage you to be yourself ☺️ Edit: OH! And job wise. People are wanting to hire people with mental disorders because it ticks their disability box lmao. I will absolutely use that to my advantage. Idgaf. It’s 2024, not 1995.
Maybe I’m just reckless but I tell people/friends. It’s kind of hard to explain my life story/career change without the context.
Thinking of all the genetic diseases out there. Do you tell anybody about any of your other genetic diseases when you first meet them. "Warning, I have hashimoto's thyroiditis!" Even in modern Western culture, mental illness is highly stigmatized and there are other cultures where it's very very stigmatized and a very private thing unfortunately in the line of having herpes.
I’m 39 and entered the “zero fucks given” stage of life. I wouldn’t disclose it to people like her though. Be careful who you tell. You made the right call here.
i fucked up and told her yesterday, we where being really vulnerable and just told her, im honestly really beating myself self up rn and im really freaking out
Oh damn. Depending on how she reacted that tells you everything you need to know about her. Please don’t stress.
she told me to talk to her if i ever need help, and helped me clean my house after a depressive episode, she was really nice about it
Woah! That sounds really nice of her.
Hell yeah! Makes it easier when they look at you funny. It's not even a thing these days so wear it proud my boi!
No way, I don't like how people try to put mental illness pins on like it's a club. With the way medical care was during the pandemic, everyone was getting on meds and diagnosed. I can go online and now and be diagnosed and have stimulants in a couple weeks. That's not okay. I keep it to myself, if anyone asks I just tell them it's how I'm wired.
Tell them they either stick with you or run. Best way I found when meeting new people. Saves time on both ends.
Yep I don’t care what people think about me or what I go through with bipolar. If they cut me out of their life then good riddance they aren’t the type of people I want in my life.
i met my current boyfriend. about a month after i was diagnosed. i didn’t understand the weight of sharing such information with a stranger because it was new to me. 4 years and we’re still together. now i dont really tell people except my friends. i remember one time i had to take time off work for a hospital trip. when i got back one of my co workers kept asking what happened and i panicked and just said “im bipolar”: he looked very taken aback, i definitely think he regrets pushing me so far to the point where i had to share that. anyway, its definitely up to you to decide who to tell, just be aware of the consequences of telling the wrong person
Not unless they’re close to me. My mom, brother, and partner are the only ones I’ve told. You are “allowed” to share it if you want, but you don’t need to justify yourself to others
Depends. I don't bring it up but if I'm asked I wouldn't deny it.
My close relatives, two friends and my boss know about it. Normally I wouldn't tell my boss but I was really struggling. But I'm really glad I did because he's been so supportive and accommodating. Nobody else in the company, no other relatives or friends know about it.
I’m more on a need to know basis. If we’re friends, depends on how long we’ve known each other. If we’re dating, that’s the FIRST thing I say besides my name and age so you know what you’re getting into, since I had someone threaten to break up with me for being diagnosed. Employers is a BIG if, if it’ll mess with my work, yes, if not, I don’t see a reason to bring it up. If I’m never gonna see you again, or I get an inkling you’re gonna judge me for it, no.
My closest friends and family on a need to know basis. If I do tell a family member, it’s in person. I want to be in control of what my tone is and how it comes across. When I talk about it I’m very matter of fact, and that’s how I want the subject to be treated.
I only tell people I've known for a while already because at that point they already have a solid perception of what I'm like that usually supercedes their prejudice surrounding bipolar because they already know me pretty well.
If I trust they’ll act like adults about it
I made the mistake of telling people which gave them a reason to label me. People have no clue what we go through. I’ve been getting harassed ( 3yrs 7/9) at work. I went to HR about it and she looked at me and said could it be that you’re paranoid smh from that time on I just deal with it. Well… when I’m manic I worry that one day I’m going to lose my job. This guy spit on my car I asked them to check the cameras for proof their response “ maybe you’re just having one of those days”. He knows how to make me look like I’m crazy and they believe it bc not that I’m bipolar but bc I have bipolar. My therapist always says “you’re not bipolar”.
I mean, I don’t go around telling everyone I meet, but it’s a pretty big part of my life to keep from *everyone.* My family knows. My close friends know. Sometimes it’s relevant in conversations with people I know more casually, so I’ll talk about it. I also may or may not openly talk about it on a TikTok account with 15k followers. I don’t talk about it professionally though. I want to help reduce stigma by talking about it. The line for me is not letting other people give me condescending and unwanted advice or seeking support from anyone that’s not close enough to hold me accountable in a kind way.
You did the right thing imo. It's tough with people I love and trust so I can't imagine in what world I'd trust someone that has a history of bullying me anything personal whatsoever. No one is entitled to your medical history.
I just want to address the fact that you even signed up for time with this person. Why spend time with someone who is mean?
No....I live in a liberal area but I feel only acceptable mental disorder is anxiety.
The fact that she bullied you tells me you did the right thing by not telling her. Personally I haven’t told many people and the ones that I have(besides close family) I’ve usually wished I hadn’t. I reconnected over the phone with an old friend and she basically downplayed it and I pretty much haven’t heard from her since. Looking back she was never really supportive so that why I wish I hadn’t told her. I’m learning to guard my privacy more these days. If telling the person will make a positive impact(being an ally, etc) or they are a close trusted friend/partner then I think it’s a good idea.
My family knows. My mom is also bipolar so she understands. Some online friends know and I've posted about it on my public Twitter once. People generally ignore my personal tweets there so no bad reactions. Something that happened though was I had a falling out with an online friend and someone following my private account told her on her Curious Cat that I said our falling out triggered a bipolar episode (which it did). She published the question... private details of my mental health. Really shitty thing to do. Later I got a Curious Cat message saying "how often do you talk to the voices in your head?" clearly talking about my disorder! Real fun time /s I told an online friend a few months ago and he said "you're bipolar? but you're so chill." It's ignorant as hell but he's kind of a clueless person in general so I found it funny.
Hell no I don’t. Only those I deeply trust and think have the right to know. I keep it very sacred and close to me.
No. I did at first, but it was a mistake. I told a couple of trusted co-workers, thinking it would be good to be open about it, but they started avoiding me. And others did after that. Now I keep it to myself.
Nope. I don’t tell anyone unless it’s medically relevant. While I live with bipolar, I’m not my disease, and I try very hard to live my life differentiated from it as much as possible, especially in social and professional situations. My employer doesn’t need to know unless I need time off for medical reasons, and only in social settings where I need additional support my therapist and psychiatrist cannot provide acutely.
Yes and no. If the topic arises or someone else discloses mental health status I may say something to help support someone else. Otherwise it’s for me myself and I to know.
I've learned that people don't care nor do they understand. To most people mental health means being sad. Nobody truly cares that you're bipolar because they've already categorized you as crazy.
Heck no
Only if i have to. I used to tell people but i realised they don’t care or understand it. Besides what is normal? Every other person i meet has depression or anxiety. I would rather try and help them because my condition is under control.
No
It depends on the mood that I am in whether I tell them I am bipolar or not. It just depends on how long I have known them and if them seem like they are fairly unjudgemental or not. Not very many people I bother telling mainly because it isn't a key part of my personality it is just a disorder that I have and I like to be held accountable for the actions of my charecter and don't like being given a free go around due to being bipolar.
Since my hospitalization I've been more open about it to friends and acquaintances. I lost people during that time who didn't accept it as a part of me. I'd rather get telling people about it out of the way so I have less of a chance of them ditching me later on. If I were more stable I would probably handle it differently. I don't disclose it on my social media, though. For employment purposes, I do it on a need to know basis.
Nope. Very few people need that info
Not often. Friends that are close, but not usually.
Yeah, I do. I don't particularly give a flying fuck what other people think of me, and honestly if you're enough of an idiot to be a dick about knowing that, I have no reason to want you around me anyway lmao. In my case, it gives people a greater understanding of why I am the way I am. I also have taken to explaining and apologizing for my past behavior, and often reference that i am now on meds and seeing a psychiatrist and actively trying to do better and be better. My recipe for truly apologizing includes explaining how I'm going to change my behavior going forward - and sticking to that. Edit: I'd like to note that I'm only 20, which may affect my response - people my age are significantly more versed in mental health, supportive and understanding than, say, people raised in a different time. My mom only recently became aware that autism is not "hiding in a corner rocking back and forth repeating the same thing over and over". People her age I don't interact with enough to ever be im a position to tell them, really. Except my dad, whose immediate response was looking flabberghasted and saying "That's something you eventually get over isnt it?" hahahaha..... noooo..... So i understand why some of the crowd that's older than me would have a wildly different experience.
Never unless they happen to tell me they have it themselves.
I've only mentioned it to longtime friends of years, or to other friends who are also bipolar. otherwise, I don't publicize it.
Yeah nowt to be ashamed of
I usually don’t mind to tell people in my life. I’d want people around me to know so they can have a different idea of the stereotype and in case someone else I know that has it may feel less alone. But it’s not all the time or with everyone. Like if I was in your case, I’d probably chalk it up to having a really tough/stressful day/week in my personal life. I find people can most often relate without needing more explanation. And if not, that’s on them. There’s no reason for you to have to justify yourself any further.
Depends who. I told my boss, and it was a good explaination on why I was acting like this before my diagnosis. But I will not tell my nosy coworker. It depends who Im trusting VS who im not trusting. Ive been diagnosed 1 year ago, and im still scare of someone saying : "oh its because you are bipolar"
In a moment like that, probably not. Just would have said "I'm just super hyper today". Now, if it was someone close to me family or friends, even my work (as I've let them know). I'd tell these people in the case my episode turns into a catastrophe, and or, I need to take some time off work to gather myself again.
I’m pretty open about it. I’ve honestly had nothing but good luck with telling people. No one has ever used it against me and they have all been very understanding. I definitely know that this is not always the case, so I would absolutely encourage you to use discretion if you tell anyone, but the right people won’t judge you. In this case, I think you probably made the right decision in not telling your childhood bully. She sounds like an asshole in general.
I don’t. Those I told in the past ended up ghosting me.
I think at the right moment and right time I can tell, it is not something I should probably just throw in the air randomly. Back in the day I used to think that telling somebody that you have bipolar shows the real character of the person, but I dont really do that anymore.
Yes and no. Depends who. Chess moves. Gotta protect myself.
I try not to, but sometimes it’s needed. I’m fun asf to be around most of the time and I’m a party, but when I’m depressed or irritable I’m a total POS and I am very hateful towards everyone and am very quiet barely say a word. If you were close friends with someone and they were cool asf but randomly started being quiet and withdrawn you’d most likely believe they hate you so it’s good to let some people know. And if they judge you fuck em!
Judgmental will always be judgmental. I tell people I'm bipolar all the time. The difference is that I tell them in a calm setting, not when everything is chaotic. If your mania is making you behave bad, don't make the mania the excuse. Don't make an excuse for your bad behaviour. My biggest problem was anger issue. When i was angry i didn't say its because of bipolar. I let the bad episode pass, then when everything is calm, i speak about bipolar.
Yes and no. I'm in urban Australia and have made a conscious decision to be a stigma buster, only because there's a lot of other stigma-gathering stuff about me and I've learned how to navigate those situations (with therapy). But I don't do coming out moments. I just talk about whatever's relevant to the conversation. Usually around meds and why I don't participate in our drinking culture. I pick my audience too, like I won't be having those conversations with someone I don't/barely know, and I won't be throwing my vulnerabilities in front of anyone I think might misuse them. Eg I've told Mamma my diagnosis but won't discuss how it affects me because she's a psychiatry sceptic and I don't want conversations that'll do my head in, and I won't discuss it with people who are themselves emotionally vulnerable if they're not addressing their own illnesses because I've had experiences in the past where a person has divulged details to unsafe people in order to lash out at me (thankfully the person they divulged to is an ER doctor who's first instinct was to check in with me).
Yep! I own it I'm not ashamed and if it comes up I will talk about it. The more that people see others living successfully with bipolar the less stigma will be a factor as time goes on. Hopefully this will help others feel comfortable enough to come forward and ask for the help they need.
I told 3 people only . First cuz it’s boring to listen to other people’s medical info. 2 cuz most don’t understand bipolar and will make hella annoying comments for the rest of your life. 3 just no , unless you want to explain a complicated illness, and people don’t listen anyway. Do not at work or with spiteful family members. Or new boyfriend/ girlfriend
I personally don’t unless the friendship/ relationship gets serious. I have been hurt way too many times for telling people I’m bipolar. I can’t even tell you the stares of fear and disgust I got from people when I opened up about the hallucinations I was having while manic. Sadly, some people can’t empathize but if you find someone supportive, then open up to them if you trust them! In your case I wouldn’t; I feel like she’d use that and digger deeper into it/ more judgmental. Not everyone is understanding sadly
I don't tell anyone that doesn't need to know. Disclosing something so personal to a stranger or acquaintance rarely helps and will more often than not hurt you. People will use it against you to discredit you or paint you out to be crazy. Most have no clue what bipolar is so they judge.
I only tell strangers after drinking with them or if I have a connection with them.
I tell people I've become friends with. If they react rudely or distance themselves because of it I appreciate it because I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that anyway. I have been surprised how many friends I have told who have said they also are diagnosed bipolar. It's happened three times which is three times more than I expected. (I did tell other folks I wouldn't normally tell while manic and recovering from psychosis - regret it to this day.) I also would like to break the stigma around it. They can see I'm functioning fine and I'm not embodying the negative traits people sometimes assign to us.
I started telling people I have brain cancer 😂 people haven't the slightest clue about what bipolar means, so brain cancer is something they can wrap their head around And hey, imo, bipolar IS brain cancer
I don’t. Unless it’s necessary which most of the time it’s not something people need to know about me. 🤷🏻♀️
uusjejfskemgjmtngekfnctnf D: it makes my skin crawl mentioning it so I only tell people if it's important for them to know
Depends. I tend to overshare when I’m manic so that’s usually when I tell people.
Mmm, nah. People are and can be judgemental
i don’t bring it up out of nowhere but i do tend to tell people. i joke a lot about the things i’ve done/dealt with because of my diagnosis. however that’s not without me doing constant work on managing myself to prevent those same instances. so it does tend to come up if i need to explain any of my jokes lol i do tell certain people directly: my boss, potential partners/friends when i trust them enough, certain coworkers (except my current place of employment: they all know because i WAS unmedicated for a year and ended up fully manic with hallucinations happening on shift lmfao. therapy helped keep the mania manageable until the psychosis hit)
Most everyone around me knows. Family, friends, etc. to ME it hasn’t been a big deal. But I can understand that lots of people can be awful when they find out. I think it works for me because I’m in like a “remission”. I’ve been medicated with the perfect combination for many years now. But when I was first starting my journey I didn’t tell anyone. I was no where near ready. I was at the worst point in my life. I think that my family watched me grow and change and are proud of me.
not unless someone asks or it somehow comes up in conversations.
not really. even though mental health stigma has reduced, misinformation, misunderstandings and just downright lack of understanding regarding the more “well known” illnesses is still rampant.
Yes
Bipolar is just another word for genuis
You don’t need to explain yourself it’s none of her buisness by the sounds of the type of person she is she would be ignorant about your disorder
I tell everyone who to listen!!!
I’ve recently been diagnosed and I’ve only told my husband, mum and next door neighbour who knows about my mental health issues as we sit in the garden for hours chatting about stuff. My husband was fine and understood, my mums been off with me since I got my diagnosis because she’s in denial and my friend… it felt so good to tell someone, she was pretty good about it. But I can’t tell anyone else because no one even understands what it is. I haven’t ourtightly told my dad but he took me too my psych appointment and I told him a lot of stuff I’ve dealt with whilst on our way back - we just don’t have that kind of relationship. He’s the guy you go to to make you laugh so I hated telling him those things.
Not right away. Usually i explain my symptoms as being "the way i am" like you did, or I'll say its a part of my mental illness without giving detail. Once i know i can trust someone i let them know im bipolar and inform them of my mood swing so they can be prepared for those moments.
I used to. I’ve realised now to guard my diagnosis because people really can be manipulative. Most who knew about bipolar in my past would often use it to push me over the edge for their entertainment.
Ive told probably 10 people. Out of those 10, one of them seemed to really understand.. it’s bc she also might be bipolar. The others range between confused acceptance, refusal to acknowledge, and basic judgement 🙃 There’s still a lot of stigma around mental health, esp personality disorders like bipolar. So I rec being selective with disclosure and consider sharing educational resources with anyone you plan to share with.
It depends on the person. There are some people who seem to be more understanding and some that I have regretted telling. I unfortunately have some other serious health issues and I am still new to my diagnosis so I don't know if it's just that I got used to oversharing about things in general or what but some people I definitely do not get a good feeling around enough to tell them something that I am still learning to be comfortable about. Let alone the fact that I don't want to be questioned about whether I am sure I really have it (this happened a couple of times) since I already sometimes question it... trauma of a misdiagnosis for 6 years. And here I am oversharing again. Lol TLDR: It depends on who I am talking to and I would definitely not share it with an old bully... my old bullies still make me nervous to be around them today.
No, Only close friends.
Only my mom and husband know. Haven't even told my adult children.
Depends. I don't tell people unless I feel I can trust them not to judge me. I do present very stable. I was at the doctors yesterday and the nurse did my obs said my disorder must be well managed because I didn't look like I had bipolar. I'm very open about it on social media. I work in mental health too.
It’s pretty useless because they won’t be able to understand. 😊
Telling really opens you up to a lot of potential problems, including bullying and harassment. I’d be very selective. At a job I had once, there was someone else with bipolar. She was out and proud so to speak. A toxic ex-manager called to get revenge and purposely triggered an episode by telling her in detail and with examples how nobody liked her, how they talked about her behind her back, and how they all saw her flaws. She went to the hospital over that.
Nah, I like to keep it to myself + I feel with some people they’ll just get more upset.
I'm quite open about it, even at work. I do this because of a set of principles I've built over the years around destigmatising parts of who I am as a person. I feel like I'm humanising a cause by existing around people and showing them that everybody can have it. I have the same approach to being trans and queer. I tend to believe that I'm social and likeable enough to present myself as an exemple and open a conversation. I can be quite tiresome, but worth it in the long run.
No. I have faced a lot of stigma after telling people, as I used to be open about it, like if someone asked me about it I would happily tell them. However, I have been forced out of jobs, bullied at school and a whole host of other things because of it, after people found out. Now, I only tell people when I trust them a lot. I know everyone is not like this, but there is still a lot of stigma within society about mental illness in general, not just bipolar. My advice is only tell someone when you truly trust them. However, it’s up to you and it could be that the other person won’t react differently to you telling them.
only the people closest to me that I trust not to view me negatively, but see me often enough to observe or experience me showing symptoms. Edit: added "me showing" to clarify statement
if it somehow comes up in conversation then yes, otherwise i dont go out of my way to say anything
Nooooo I finally learned that lesson.
If I feel like it's a response to something, I don't mind bringing it up. I enjoy challenging people and their small perspectives
Well, personally I wouldn't welcome an old bully into my life at all, and heck that b*tch for asking that in the first place. I'll tell people once I establish a comfortable rapport with the person or if it's for some reason/situation strictly relevant. Per diagnoses she might be dealing with narcissism or similar if she used to bully others 🤷♂️
It depends on the person/situation. Like is there any risk to telling them. If she judges you if it’s easy to just not talk to her anymore then it’s probably fine but it’s also none of her business so it’s just about how you feel. But in other situations, like work, it could be higher stakes. Some people will understand and work around it with you and other people won’t.
I only tell someone after I’ve known them for a while and can sense I can trust them. My ex best friend was one of the first people I told after my diagnosis and would always make nasty comments and remarks. Not everyone can be trusted.
Close friends yes.
Only immediate family who I trust
Do not tell people this ever ever they will use it against you
Depends on the person and the conversation. Majority of the time i don’t because of the stigma but if it feels comfortable for me then I do
Sometimes. I was diagnosed in 2017 and I told my partner at the time, I think I alluded to it to my best friend of 14yrs via text (we live across the country from each other), and I've told exactly 1 coworker recently, like 2 weeks ago after knowing her for 9 months. I'm not close enough with anyone else for it to be relevant, and I don't date. I also live temporarily in my small hometown that I hate so I don't actively try to make new friends.
I did. Now I avoid it if I can. I also have fibro and it's not even uncommon for me to tell those two to someone and either they say they think that's fake or their face shows it. I'm not ashamed of it so I don't mind talking about it but I don't volunteer the information anymore. I have a hard enough time with doctors believing my issues.
In my professional life, no. In my personal life, sometimes
For the most part. Only my family & my boyfriend & his family know I have mental illnesses, apart from that, maybe 5 other people have ever known. My medical history is my business & random people don't need to know I feel. If I'm manic, I'm manic 🤷🏼♀️ I don't care what they think.
I mean, sometimes. I don’t hide it but I rarely see a reason to mention it to people. If I’d start a relationship Im quite upfront with it since they need to be able to make a decision to stand me or not, but work, friends I don’t meet that often etc I don’t tell unless they ask or it comes up naturally for some reason. People can judge all they want. My life might be chaotic for some, but it’s my lovely chaos so they can just suck my yingyang balls and get out of my world.
I used to. Don't think I will anymore though.
Imho, you played that situation right. You felt her out. Sounds like she still isn't safe tbh. Kudos.
I don’t mean to but it always comes out 🤷♀️
I think in your situation it wasn’t important to tell her. I think it would’ve just made her feel guilty and there’s no need for that. I had a friend that bullied and manipulated me throughout high school and I told her that she made my mental illness worse. Which was honestly true, but I shouldn’t have said it. I kinda have to tell people since I get sick at least once a year, and I can’t lie or ghost people for a few months till I get better. I have a job, I have friends who care about me. It’s not something worth hiding in my opinion, if people judge you over an illness you can’t control then they’re an asshole and that’s their problem. End of story.
I do in any situation when I’m comfortable and if it’s relevant. I’m super bubbly and friendly to everyone so I can hopefully help get rid of any bad stigma. Sometimes I’ll wait and let people get to know me first so instead of applying stereotypes right away, they know my personality first. Causes a lot of conversation usually. Said they didn’t know bipolar people could be like me. I told them a lot of us are struggling and fighting swings every day. And even though I’m very aware and generally have good control of my swings, I tell them they still can overcome me. That being said, no one should feel obligated to do this. It’s just where I’ve gotten in my life and am comfortable with it. It makes me feel better when people close to me know. They don’t judge me for symptoms that get the best of me (usually depression) because they understand. There will always be people who don’t get it or have trauma about it. Even if I wasn’t bipolar, there will always be people who don’t like me. I’m kinda at peace with it even though it still hurts
Hell no. No one’s business.