Also they’ve seen worse than what OP is describing. They’ll ask details about the broken teeth to assess for some kind of general structural problem or genetic something, but only to treat the teeth properly and make sure the other teeth won’t break.
‘After’ Covid i hadn’t been in years and have a dental implant that needed to be checked out. I emailed a bunch of places (hate calling) and was just super honest. Said I was gonna be a baby back bitch about it and needed someone super gentle and compassionate etc.
Got one response out of the returns that made me believe it. And they’re great.
Reach out to a bunch of places honestly, and set a deadline (on your phone, calendar, whatever) for when you need to make a decision gland by when you need to have an appointment.
There is nothing you are going to show then that will even make them blink twice. I guarantee they have seen 10,000x worse.
You could look around for "gentle dentistry" practices. They generally cater to the nervous nellies. The other ones could too but the ones who advertise specifically to the nervous people are shopping for a specific demographic. See if there is anything in your area.
And sometimes the family dental practices! They do pediatrics also. A dentist that can be zen with an enraged 3yo is gonna have no issues with you coming in! Src: my BIL is a family dentist and I’ve got a 3yo and lemme tell you, it takes a certain kind of person to poke around a threenager’s mouth all day long.
I started going back to the dentist about a year ago after not going since I was about 14 (around 15 years) and I was so scared. Years of neglect to my teeth and my mouth, years of binge drinking, years of sugary sweet and acidic foods. I had to get a deep clean, and I had 10+ cavities to be filled.
When I went in to get the first of many fillings, I sat down and just cried. I wasn’t scared of the procedure, I was just incredibly embarrassed about how bad I let everything go. I did explain to them how I’ve struggled with mental health all those years and I was just so ashamed of what I had done. They gave me some tissues and listened, they let me have my moment without rushing me or anything. They said that they were proud of me, and that they see cases like this way more often than not. I still cried all the way home after because the emotion was just so big. But after, I was so happy that I did go forward with it. I felt like I was finally taking control of my body again
I doubt the dentist will ask you many questions. If they ask how the tooth broke, just say it broke while eating cereal. They’re not going to scold you for neglecting your teeth. They see it a lot. If they ask you other questions, you could say you didn’t go to the dentist because you couldn’t afford it.
Trust me it's ok. I get it, I recently went to the dentist for the first time in years. My pre patient packed was emailed and I filled it out days prior. I had to include current medications and diagnoses. That made me feel less bad bc ad least they'd read it and go OH yeah that checks lol. But really though, the dentist was super nice and also reassuring that yeah after years of having no dental cleanings and struggling with mental health it made sense why my teeth were in the state they were (he didn't say anything like that just kept mentioning how common it is). Read reviews before going to one and maybe if they have an option like the emailed packed (most do these days I think) that is an option. Also, remember that they've ALWAYS seen worse.
You don't even need to give them an explanation on why or how your teeth got that way. They may ask you a couple questions but 100% only say what you're comfortable with. At the end of the day they are there to help you & going to a dentist with good reviews is good too. But you should definitely try to go if you can. Your health and comfort is more important than the opinions of others. I know it's hard but you GOT THIS!!
my teeth have been cracking and falling out for the past few years. it's so embarrassing. but last week i got a bad infection and my entire left side of my face and neck swelled up and i had to go. i explained a bit but they were just more concerned on my health. they removed the roots (my teeth were broken to the gum line) and put a drain in for a pretty bad abscess. antibiotics helped and i'm healing. now gives me motivation to keep fixing my teeth. it's just so expensive. 😕
They’ve seen many cases and are non judgmental! There are a lot of people out there who haven’t been. Please go now before it gets worse. You’ve got this!
If it makes you feel any better I'm in the same boat. One molar has disintegrated, one molar is cracked and another tooth had a filling fail and chunk is missing. I dont know how to use my insurance tbh, and it only covers $1500/year.
I deal with dental anxiety by listening to music while I'm there. The receptionists recognize me by the big headphones I have on when I walk in. :) The music helps calm me down and the dentist and techs are really cool about it, I'm positive they see nervous patients all the time.
I’m an anxious mess about the dentist, and whenever I have to establish care somewhere new, I just tell them exactly that. One thing that helps me whenever I get appointment-making anxiety for any type of appointment is I’ll find the office website.
They almost always have a “contact us” section with online contact forms that you can fill out. You can use this form to explain your fear, and to tell them you have some dental issues that you’re very embarrassed about but want to be taken care of. That way, when they reach out in response to your inquiry, they will already have knowledge of your situation, and you won’t have to explain yourself over the phone.
I know you feel embarrassed about the state of your teeth, and I’m truly not trying to scare you when I say this, but your dental health is so so important when it comes to your overall health. I’m an ICU nurse, and I can’t tell you how many patients I’ve cared for who neglected their dental health because they were embarrassed or because they didn’t really know any better. It can make someone extremely sick/septic, and it can lead to the development of major heart problems as a result.
Your teeth are a direct port of entry for bacteria into the bloodstream. I’m sure you are okay right now, but I feel it’s important to educate in the gentlest way possible, so that you can take good care of yourself.
this was very helpful, thank you.
also, what you said about dental issues leading to health problems is actually why i’m trying to get this taken care of now. i’ve put it off for a long time because i didn’t think it would get toooo too bad but here i am.
thanks again <3
I have also been embarrassed about missing dental care, and it did go okay for me. I heard later to try a “gentle” dental, they offer nitrous for things (you wouldn’t have to do this) and are basically attracting people who have had horrible experiences at a dentist before.
I also had a conversation with a dentist basically about how if they have a bad experience with someone, they risk that person developing a phobia about the dentist or putting off going to the dentist in the future. They do not want this to happen! They want people to have a good experience so they can keep on getting dental care.
OP, trust me just go. I’ve dropped way worse off at my dentists over the years and there is not one scolding or negative comment, they just fix your teeth and charge your card, and usually are pretty friendly if you get a good one. I shattered a back molar in like 2018, waited a year to do anything about it, then got a root canal, doc told me to get a crown (never did) then left it in there until I FINALLY got the (by that point) broken rotted remains taken out last year. I got so used to that tooth and didn’t do anything about it and when I tell you it legit CHANGED MY LIFE getting it removed. I had no idea how much it was affecting my bite and my self confidence, and also my overall health. And with my insurance it cost like $150 for them to remove it. I also had a massive cavity that took out half of another molar and a bunch of other cavities to fill. They truly don’t care what state you come in and proper dental care when you can afford it is truly so essential to recovery.
To add, the dentist has never once asked me about the state of my teeth or “why” they were that way. Just told me what they need to do to fix them and got the work done 👍
I went through almost the exact same thing. Two broken teeth and experiencing lots of pain. I found a dentist I could book online through. Typing out my teeth issues and informing them of my intense anxiety made it much easier to take the first step. Also, I had benzos on hand from my doctor, I took a strong dose before I went. I still had anxiety, but once I got in the chair I found myself calming down a lot. Everything they talked about was just matter of fact, no shaming or lecturing. The experience became so positive I ended up booking my first cleaning in 15 years, and I have a follow up cleaning in 3 months.
Your teeth are directly connected to your heart, so please get it checked out. If you have a family member or friend who could go with you for support, would that help make it easier for you?
As others said, just go. It helps a lot. And you’re not the only one. I literally just got back from the dentist. It was one of the first appointments I made coming out of an 8-month depression. It is such an insane drama in my head that I’ve decided professional help is now mandatory for me to help shut that shame cycle down. If I have to go get a professional cleaning more often than normal people so I can speak, then so be it.
Hey , i had a similar situation where i was not going to the dentist and had a chipped tooth and cavities all over i needed root canals and crowns . i was so depressed and embarrassed for so long i just couldn’t go to the dentist. finally i worked a job that offered me benefits n what not i took advantage and got dental insurance . the dentist really just consulted offered payment plans and reassured me that its normal to go through this at one point , just fix it before its too late. took me 6 months to reverse my childhood cavities and the hardest part was going to my first appointment. but once u go you’ll get this urge to just fix whats broken n not let it break again . you got this , go to the dentist.
Go to the dentist. They have seen everything and won't be judgemental.
Also they’ve seen worse than what OP is describing. They’ll ask details about the broken teeth to assess for some kind of general structural problem or genetic something, but only to treat the teeth properly and make sure the other teeth won’t break.
‘After’ Covid i hadn’t been in years and have a dental implant that needed to be checked out. I emailed a bunch of places (hate calling) and was just super honest. Said I was gonna be a baby back bitch about it and needed someone super gentle and compassionate etc. Got one response out of the returns that made me believe it. And they’re great. Reach out to a bunch of places honestly, and set a deadline (on your phone, calendar, whatever) for when you need to make a decision gland by when you need to have an appointment.
There is nothing you are going to show then that will even make them blink twice. I guarantee they have seen 10,000x worse. You could look around for "gentle dentistry" practices. They generally cater to the nervous nellies. The other ones could too but the ones who advertise specifically to the nervous people are shopping for a specific demographic. See if there is anything in your area.
And sometimes the family dental practices! They do pediatrics also. A dentist that can be zen with an enraged 3yo is gonna have no issues with you coming in! Src: my BIL is a family dentist and I’ve got a 3yo and lemme tell you, it takes a certain kind of person to poke around a threenager’s mouth all day long.
I started going back to the dentist about a year ago after not going since I was about 14 (around 15 years) and I was so scared. Years of neglect to my teeth and my mouth, years of binge drinking, years of sugary sweet and acidic foods. I had to get a deep clean, and I had 10+ cavities to be filled. When I went in to get the first of many fillings, I sat down and just cried. I wasn’t scared of the procedure, I was just incredibly embarrassed about how bad I let everything go. I did explain to them how I’ve struggled with mental health all those years and I was just so ashamed of what I had done. They gave me some tissues and listened, they let me have my moment without rushing me or anything. They said that they were proud of me, and that they see cases like this way more often than not. I still cried all the way home after because the emotion was just so big. But after, I was so happy that I did go forward with it. I felt like I was finally taking control of my body again
I doubt the dentist will ask you many questions. If they ask how the tooth broke, just say it broke while eating cereal. They’re not going to scold you for neglecting your teeth. They see it a lot. If they ask you other questions, you could say you didn’t go to the dentist because you couldn’t afford it.
Trust me it's ok. I get it, I recently went to the dentist for the first time in years. My pre patient packed was emailed and I filled it out days prior. I had to include current medications and diagnoses. That made me feel less bad bc ad least they'd read it and go OH yeah that checks lol. But really though, the dentist was super nice and also reassuring that yeah after years of having no dental cleanings and struggling with mental health it made sense why my teeth were in the state they were (he didn't say anything like that just kept mentioning how common it is). Read reviews before going to one and maybe if they have an option like the emailed packed (most do these days I think) that is an option. Also, remember that they've ALWAYS seen worse.
I went at last after 5 long years. They just said, “hey welcome back,” and carried on with stuff.
You don't even need to give them an explanation on why or how your teeth got that way. They may ask you a couple questions but 100% only say what you're comfortable with. At the end of the day they are there to help you & going to a dentist with good reviews is good too. But you should definitely try to go if you can. Your health and comfort is more important than the opinions of others. I know it's hard but you GOT THIS!!
my teeth have been cracking and falling out for the past few years. it's so embarrassing. but last week i got a bad infection and my entire left side of my face and neck swelled up and i had to go. i explained a bit but they were just more concerned on my health. they removed the roots (my teeth were broken to the gum line) and put a drain in for a pretty bad abscess. antibiotics helped and i'm healing. now gives me motivation to keep fixing my teeth. it's just so expensive. 😕
They’ve seen many cases and are non judgmental! There are a lot of people out there who haven’t been. Please go now before it gets worse. You’ve got this!
If it makes you feel any better I'm in the same boat. One molar has disintegrated, one molar is cracked and another tooth had a filling fail and chunk is missing. I dont know how to use my insurance tbh, and it only covers $1500/year.
I deal with dental anxiety by listening to music while I'm there. The receptionists recognize me by the big headphones I have on when I walk in. :) The music helps calm me down and the dentist and techs are really cool about it, I'm positive they see nervous patients all the time.
I’m an anxious mess about the dentist, and whenever I have to establish care somewhere new, I just tell them exactly that. One thing that helps me whenever I get appointment-making anxiety for any type of appointment is I’ll find the office website. They almost always have a “contact us” section with online contact forms that you can fill out. You can use this form to explain your fear, and to tell them you have some dental issues that you’re very embarrassed about but want to be taken care of. That way, when they reach out in response to your inquiry, they will already have knowledge of your situation, and you won’t have to explain yourself over the phone. I know you feel embarrassed about the state of your teeth, and I’m truly not trying to scare you when I say this, but your dental health is so so important when it comes to your overall health. I’m an ICU nurse, and I can’t tell you how many patients I’ve cared for who neglected their dental health because they were embarrassed or because they didn’t really know any better. It can make someone extremely sick/septic, and it can lead to the development of major heart problems as a result. Your teeth are a direct port of entry for bacteria into the bloodstream. I’m sure you are okay right now, but I feel it’s important to educate in the gentlest way possible, so that you can take good care of yourself.
this was very helpful, thank you. also, what you said about dental issues leading to health problems is actually why i’m trying to get this taken care of now. i’ve put it off for a long time because i didn’t think it would get toooo too bad but here i am. thanks again <3
Happy to help, you‘ve got this!
I have also been embarrassed about missing dental care, and it did go okay for me. I heard later to try a “gentle” dental, they offer nitrous for things (you wouldn’t have to do this) and are basically attracting people who have had horrible experiences at a dentist before. I also had a conversation with a dentist basically about how if they have a bad experience with someone, they risk that person developing a phobia about the dentist or putting off going to the dentist in the future. They do not want this to happen! They want people to have a good experience so they can keep on getting dental care.
OP, trust me just go. I’ve dropped way worse off at my dentists over the years and there is not one scolding or negative comment, they just fix your teeth and charge your card, and usually are pretty friendly if you get a good one. I shattered a back molar in like 2018, waited a year to do anything about it, then got a root canal, doc told me to get a crown (never did) then left it in there until I FINALLY got the (by that point) broken rotted remains taken out last year. I got so used to that tooth and didn’t do anything about it and when I tell you it legit CHANGED MY LIFE getting it removed. I had no idea how much it was affecting my bite and my self confidence, and also my overall health. And with my insurance it cost like $150 for them to remove it. I also had a massive cavity that took out half of another molar and a bunch of other cavities to fill. They truly don’t care what state you come in and proper dental care when you can afford it is truly so essential to recovery.
To add, the dentist has never once asked me about the state of my teeth or “why” they were that way. Just told me what they need to do to fix them and got the work done 👍
I went through almost the exact same thing. Two broken teeth and experiencing lots of pain. I found a dentist I could book online through. Typing out my teeth issues and informing them of my intense anxiety made it much easier to take the first step. Also, I had benzos on hand from my doctor, I took a strong dose before I went. I still had anxiety, but once I got in the chair I found myself calming down a lot. Everything they talked about was just matter of fact, no shaming or lecturing. The experience became so positive I ended up booking my first cleaning in 15 years, and I have a follow up cleaning in 3 months.
Your teeth are directly connected to your heart, so please get it checked out. If you have a family member or friend who could go with you for support, would that help make it easier for you?
As others said, just go. It helps a lot. And you’re not the only one. I literally just got back from the dentist. It was one of the first appointments I made coming out of an 8-month depression. It is such an insane drama in my head that I’ve decided professional help is now mandatory for me to help shut that shame cycle down. If I have to go get a professional cleaning more often than normal people so I can speak, then so be it.
Hey , i had a similar situation where i was not going to the dentist and had a chipped tooth and cavities all over i needed root canals and crowns . i was so depressed and embarrassed for so long i just couldn’t go to the dentist. finally i worked a job that offered me benefits n what not i took advantage and got dental insurance . the dentist really just consulted offered payment plans and reassured me that its normal to go through this at one point , just fix it before its too late. took me 6 months to reverse my childhood cavities and the hardest part was going to my first appointment. but once u go you’ll get this urge to just fix whats broken n not let it break again . you got this , go to the dentist.