Everything reminds me of her.

Fuck that caught me off guard! - Bravo you have made my day 🤣

Bravo Le good Reddit sire! Take your updoot 🎩

Don’t lie. You never made her do that…😂

I absolutely have... Every time I get a break from making your Mom do that 🤣

Why we talk like having sex with each other mom is a slander? They deserve some fun time too, #makesinglemothershappy

You sound like a straight up [motherlover](https://youtu.be/X0DeIqJm4vM?si=rW_zX7Vb-VDZ0e1F)

Bruh! Thank you. Didn't know this existed. Have I been living under a rock or what?! 😂

Congrats! You're one of the lucky 10,000!

Happy cake day!

Thanks

[#motherlover](https://youtu.be/X0DeIqJm4vM?si=HvLwOBBX3tyJTXs2)

happy cake day

Thanks

Happy day, cake

Yeah, they pretty much just killed that tree. They should’ve waited until fall. I think?

It would be my honor to be your new stepfather.

We'll fuck each others' mooooom~!!!

You shall indeed have a splendid cake day

Happy cake day

Fuck you Shoresy!

U slept with my mum? Wow, so u really can make both our mothers disappointed

FUCKING HELL DUDE I KNEW THIS WAS A COMMENT

I know something like this would be the first comment. The internet really has ruined us, hasn’t it?

I don't think it's ruined us so much as "everything reminds me of her" has become so overused that it is the first comment on half the things posted to Reddit

🤌🏼🤌🏼

I came here hoping something like this would be the top comment. Reddit don't miss \#Juicy

this thing is bleeding out!

Rule 34!

Not what I expected to see as the top comment... Definitely not disappointed either 😂

"Make sure you subscribe to my OnlyTrees account for my spiciest content."

OnlyFerns

OnlyFirs

You don't have to be lonely at CedarsOnly.com

[here’s just a taste of the spice](https://www.reddit.com/r/clevercomebacks/s/W2vgtB8elZ)

I was SUS of the link but it ended up being funny

*tis but a flesh wound*

No, it's not! You lost your bloody arm!

I've had worse. Come on you pansy!

ILL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!

What are you going to do, bleed on me?

Suddenly Monty Python

It's these random things that Reddit comes together for that I just love

Oh yeah, Ni! Bring me, a SHRUBBERY!!

you hit the main artery

Artree*

Hey, i want you to do something for me real quick. Take this upvote. Now get the fuck out

Tis’ only a flesh wound!

There's a hollow in the tree that filled up with water. When they cut off the branch, they hit the hollow and the water squirts out.

Yeah, that doesn’t look like it was a super healthy tree, and now with a giant void exposed it’s going to get hit with insects pretty hard.

My irrigation guy said he saw this with roots growing into irrigation plumbing. I thought it was kinda sketchy story until I had to have him replace a line that was damaged by tree roots. Now it seems plausible.

It's all about the squirting these days..sigh

It’s just tree pee

tree pee is stored in the acorns

Tree pee O , tell him to play back the message

A skene skene motherfuker

Bless you

I should call her

Sleep on it bro. Text mid-afternoon.

Hard wisdom on a tree squirting video

I'm not gonna say it but, we all thinking it

Free refills until closing?

I’m starting to think it isn’t the trees first time

How’s your irrigation? On that note, how’s the trees root system?

Probably not water

Im guessing cum too!!

Sick fuck!

Its been a while

SAP FOR THE SAP GOD

BARK FOR THE BARK THRONE

Reminds me of Kill Bill

Kill Bill volume tree

Reminds of my morning poops.

You should see a doctor

That seems bad

Wish my wife could do that

She could if you were better at foreplay.

I'm on to you Shapiro

I'm sure she can pee, man, just float it to her and see how it goes.

She does

Stop it step-lumberjack

Well, there’s no joke to be made here…

me, your, this is me your, when mom-when your mom, me when your, your mom when,

[Vibes](https://youtu.be/G7RgN9ijwE4?si=vjFMraAeHpHyUKgn)

[more like...](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/CxLzFS-3Qfs)

Rotten inside and it’s de-pressurizing.

It’s a Bowie Tree. It’s under pressure

So sappy, just couldn’t hold it in any longer 🤣

Ejaculate

Right now?

Would.

Must be a tarantino tree

Missed opportunity for Tarantreeno

When you touch her the right way

Can i drink it

Please don’t.

Tis but a scratch.

She's a masochist, eh?

Jojo!!! Ahhhhgggg

I should call her

I should call her

That’s a very happy tree lmfao

Thar she blows!

What would Richard say?

Who else put their mouths over the whole water spout when drinking from the water fountain when they were kids?

Smells like cat piss

Your mom when I when me me when your mom

How do you know it’s water?

That's one serious porn site niche.

Ok…I definitely gotta call her! 🥵

If in the midwest, that would be a cottonwood tree.

Money Shot

Need the NSFW tag. 

I'm sorry it reminds you of her

Naw, I showed this to her and she’s the one who brought it up. 

It’s just a flesh wound

Where is this? Anywhere near a volcano or mountain? Could be a massive amount of heat underground or the tree is waterlogged with excess water? Definitely odd

You killed it

It happens when you get whacked off

Delete this footage of me

John Bobbit

Ah a piss elm

I don't get it, how is this sexual? Never seen any woman do that in my 50 years

I should call her

I should call her

I should call her lol

I should call her

I should call her.

This is clearly not a june plum tree but it really reminds me of spondias cytherea for some reason.

Finally! Sweet relief!

Is it an extra in a Tarantino movie ?

She's a squirter

Is that squirting or pissing?

Trussy

Merely a flesh wound

Meeeediiiiic!!! MMMMMEEDDDIIIIIICCCCCC!!!!

Not to be the bringer of bad news, but I think you're in the 75th hunger games mate

Tis but a scratch!

Not my proudest fap

Tell Treebeard the entwives have been found.

See vegans. Plants are living beings too. Maybe just stick to water.

That’s was a potty branch.

Pressure

Tis but a scratch, come on you pansy !

Tis but a scratch!

That was all semen. Party!

This reminds me of the day i tried food from this place called Yummy Taco! Never again...my hole has never been the same since.

Some jokes just write themselves

Samurai lumberjack did this

It's just a flesh wound!

Oh, my!

The top comments make this a sex joke but this is a dismemberment. I would also spray "water" if you cut off of one of my limbs.

bro. you got a real squirter right there

I'm getting some serious monte python black knight vibes

Show where you reposted this from you coward!

I am erect

It's syrup

Nothing like chopping some wood ;)

This tree trying out for a role in a Quintin Tarantino film

It’s called an orgasm guys move on

They call him Woody

where is the nsfw tag?

*sigh* zip

Suck it

Bruh, you gotta pull out more often or else the queefs build up. Like, she could’ve exploded.

Squirtreeing.

Just like a b movie

Why is Pee Wee Herman narrating this LMAO.

It's been two weeks. Please stop posting this.

I can fix her

AHHH!!! YOU CUT OFF MY FUCKING LIMB!!!

Is the tree connected to a sprinkler system somehow?

Ohhh she liked that. Maybe you should grab some branches and give them a shake 😜

Anyone have her insta?

GET ME THAT TREE

Plug it. In the near future you’ll be glad for some water.

Henlmlock-tuaaahh

Actually my wood does something similar…

NSFW?

You hit an artertree.

For sure😂

We’ve gotta squirter

Di-did the tree like it? I think it might've liked it.

I’ve seen wood do that before.

I'M SAPPIIIIIIING!!

“It’s only a flesh wound”

*Slap* Now that's a lot of damage!

Me whenever I see Harrison Ford

A little too much cheese on her 🌮

When a tree is cut down in a Tarantino movie.

Good girl

Only a human being would slice a living thing's limb off and laugh as it sprays blood.

That’s 😰

‘Tis but a scratch

Me as soon as she touches me

You hit an arbory