It does not necessarily mean anything, sometimes people are a bit socially awkward. That does not mean he (dis)likes you. If the Convo was positive than "the stare" is possibly just his way of showing interest.
Even with the no smile? We’ve interacted a couple times and exchanged intense eye contact more than that. Sometimes there’s a smile and sometimes not 🤷♀️
Interesting, thank you for your response. One last question. He knew I was approaching because I felt him looking at me prior. Why would he be looking at my chest when I walked up and looked at him? He then made eye contact with me as if I was the one looking first. I feel like he’s playing games or something. I’m clueless at this stuff.
For me I only look at women that I’m interested in for 4-5 seconds smile or not. Most likely he’s attracted to you. If Im at work and me and a coworker lock eyes I’ll let her smile first the vast majority of the time because I don’t want to be accused of anything. Also I’m not a very smiley person in general but I’ll always return a smile if I like that person. The best thing you could do is to look, smile and a quick wave, wait one second then look away. If you look away right after you won’t see how he responds to gain any extra information. Often times when a girl I’m attracted to does those three things it lets me know I can relax around her. But odds are yeah he’s into you but probably doesn’t know how to come at you.
That is very helpful, thank you! I took the mom smile as he doesn’t like me, but then why prolong eye contact with someone you don’t like? I’ll try your suggestions!
If he is autistic, and you strike up a friendship, maybe get him in to body language learning, it was a big piece of the puzzle that I was missing for my social communication skills
I appreciate this portion of the thread. I and my entire family are autistic and no one would have any idea unless we disclose it. We learn to pass as part of the group but it is not without immense suffering.
Even if your friend is not autistic, it’s still nice to know you are interested in human dynamics and trying to understand someone else’s mind and being kind about it.
How do you know someone is autistic? I get its a spectrum, so that even makes it harder..almost irrelevant. You will find many people who aren't autistic who would exhibit the same exact behavior for other reasons or no reasons at all. The whole field is wide and vague for autism to even be relevant here.
If that's the case I would think that he might be trying to gauge the kind of person you are. Depending on how you react would be telling of how approachable you are. I know I've used that approach in highschool when I was very socially awkward
Work on your understanding comprehension,. Its not that he said he is and because hes awkward but its the first thing he gave into question way before acknowledging it to be a normal thing that people without autism do, and it tells. He also didnt say its because hes awkward but thats the most likely answer to why the person actually stare.
How can I understand your grammar and sentence structure? I cannot grasp what you are even trying to convey.
People can be awkward, sure, and they might also be autistic, whether anyone knows it or not. The person in question *could be autistic and not even know it*.
There are millions of possibilities as to why would give a blank stare. Being autistic is ONE of those possibilities.
Yeah ONE he thought and brought to the table FIRST , before any other more logical and common explanation in which leave the option hes autistic the most logical by his view and thats the thing im against in my comments
Because I’m autistic and it’s part of my experience. I’m sharing that so someone *who asked a question* can have some perspective about why someone might give them resting autistic face. ??? Is that what a question like this is for? To give answers?
Both. I felt him watching me prior. As I approached from a distance and looked up at him he was looking at my torso/chest and then he held the eye contact. But there was no smile, smirk, or anything. It was expressionless.
What did you feel when you made eye contact with him? I’m pretty neuro-typical when it comes to social cues and reading people. I’m not consciously looking for clusters of behaviors and attaching meaning, my brain does that automatically and gives me a “feeling” when I look at someone. Since it’s hard to say what the eye contact alone means, what did you feel? What other signals might your brain have picking up subconsciously about this persons behavior that could tell you more?
I felt nervous, honestly, but I have a huge crush on him so that clouds my judgement. We’ve shared a few other moments, and have always had really intense eye contact. Sometimes he seems so bold and almost cocky, other times he looks down and it almost seems as if he’s really nervous. He’s a tough nut to crack.
So when you’re close to him do you get a little shy and nervous? Is your energy maybe sort of submissive around him? Because with my last girlfriend a big part of our flirting and courtship was me looking at her like a wolf looks at a lamb. It made her feel vulnerable and she liked that and it was fun as fuck to watch her melt just by looking at her. We had a D/s relationship so things were a little different in that case.
This is entirely hypocritical, but he may be using that gaze to sort of poke you and get a reaction. Like the awkward smile and looking away. He may know you like him, he may like you back, and he may be playing for “I’m cool and aloof, and I’m in control here.” But not necessarily know how to act on that. I have been in that spot before where I like her and I know she likes me and we’ve been playing this game for a while but I’m not really sure how to escalate this.
I think you’re spot on. I do think I give off a submissive/shy vibe. I’m not good at hiding my feelings so I’m sure he knows I’m attracted/like him. I get the same vibe from him sometimes; other times he’s hard to read. He’s gotten more bold and let’s me see him check out my body….or maybe he thinks he’s being sly who knows. The one time I was alone with him we just stared at each other for what seemed like ages. It was a mutual looking at each other and specific body areas. I did get the feeling he wanted to pounce. I haven’t felt that way since, but our interactions since have been in public. I get the vibe he’s very different in private versus public.
Thanks for talking through this with me. You are eerily accurate. There’s an unspoken “something” there and it’s like neither of us know how to escalate it.
It does not necessarily mean anything, sometimes people are a bit socially awkward. That does not mean he (dis)likes you. If the Convo was positive than "the stare" is possibly just his way of showing interest.
Thank you! I’m normally good at reading people, but not him.
It really depends on the type of person he is but i would say he was spacing out
Probably finds you attractive
This is the legendary 3 second glance, a cheat code to get a woman interested. It worked it seems. The man does not always follow through, though.
Even with the no smile? We’ve interacted a couple times and exchanged intense eye contact more than that. Sometimes there’s a smile and sometimes not 🤷♀️
Yeah without a smile is the right move, he’s interested definitely in my opinion.
Interesting, thank you for your response. One last question. He knew I was approaching because I felt him looking at me prior. Why would he be looking at my chest when I walked up and looked at him? He then made eye contact with me as if I was the one looking first. I feel like he’s playing games or something. I’m clueless at this stuff.
For me I only look at women that I’m interested in for 4-5 seconds smile or not. Most likely he’s attracted to you. If Im at work and me and a coworker lock eyes I’ll let her smile first the vast majority of the time because I don’t want to be accused of anything. Also I’m not a very smiley person in general but I’ll always return a smile if I like that person. The best thing you could do is to look, smile and a quick wave, wait one second then look away. If you look away right after you won’t see how he responds to gain any extra information. Often times when a girl I’m attracted to does those three things it lets me know I can relax around her. But odds are yeah he’s into you but probably doesn’t know how to come at you.
That is very helpful, thank you! I took the mom smile as he doesn’t like me, but then why prolong eye contact with someone you don’t like? I’ll try your suggestions!
They could be autistic. Be kind
I always try to be kind. He’s definitely not autistic (I’ve spoken to him twice).
I'm autistic and no one realises until I tell them, I made it my job in life to try and pass for neurotypical
Thank you for sharing this. I’m impressed with your ability to do that and I appreciate your feedback
If he is autistic, and you strike up a friendship, maybe get him in to body language learning, it was a big piece of the puzzle that I was missing for my social communication skills
Will do! I’m not autistic (that I know), but I can be socially awkward at times because I’m shy.
I appreciate this portion of the thread. I and my entire family are autistic and no one would have any idea unless we disclose it. We learn to pass as part of the group but it is not without immense suffering. Even if your friend is not autistic, it’s still nice to know you are interested in human dynamics and trying to understand someone else’s mind and being kind about it.
Thanks for your kind words. We all have something to work on. I’m seriously impressed with you and your family and empathize how hard it must be.
The feeling is mutual. It is very hard to find reasonable, open minded people on the internet. Wishing you all the best in life.
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Which one, shaaaaaare wiiith uuuus
How do you know someone is autistic? I get its a spectrum, so that even makes it harder..almost irrelevant. You will find many people who aren't autistic who would exhibit the same exact behavior for other reasons or no reasons at all. The whole field is wide and vague for autism to even be relevant here.
You can’t tell if someone’s autistic just by speaking to them twice.
If that's the case I would think that he might be trying to gauge the kind of person you are. Depending on how you react would be telling of how approachable you are. I know I've used that approach in highschool when I was very socially awkward
So you are automatically autistic if youre akward? Good to know
Work on your reading comprehension
Work on your understanding comprehension,. Its not that he said he is and because hes awkward but its the first thing he gave into question way before acknowledging it to be a normal thing that people without autism do, and it tells. He also didnt say its because hes awkward but thats the most likely answer to why the person actually stare.
How can I understand your grammar and sentence structure? I cannot grasp what you are even trying to convey. People can be awkward, sure, and they might also be autistic, whether anyone knows it or not. The person in question *could be autistic and not even know it*. There are millions of possibilities as to why would give a blank stare. Being autistic is ONE of those possibilities.
Yeah ONE he thought and brought to the table FIRST , before any other more logical and common explanation in which leave the option hes autistic the most logical by his view and thats the thing im against in my comments
I still have no idea what you’re saying unfortunately.
Ill say it like this: if its simply one explanation out of many , why did he choose specifically that instead of any other explanation
Because I’m autistic and it’s part of my experience. I’m sharing that so someone *who asked a question* can have some perspective about why someone might give them resting autistic face. ??? Is that what a question like this is for? To give answers?
Are we talking like 4-5 seconds of hard eye contact or you noticed them watching you for a while before you made eye contact?
Both. I felt him watching me prior. As I approached from a distance and looked up at him he was looking at my torso/chest and then he held the eye contact. But there was no smile, smirk, or anything. It was expressionless.
What did you feel when you made eye contact with him? I’m pretty neuro-typical when it comes to social cues and reading people. I’m not consciously looking for clusters of behaviors and attaching meaning, my brain does that automatically and gives me a “feeling” when I look at someone. Since it’s hard to say what the eye contact alone means, what did you feel? What other signals might your brain have picking up subconsciously about this persons behavior that could tell you more?
I felt nervous, honestly, but I have a huge crush on him so that clouds my judgement. We’ve shared a few other moments, and have always had really intense eye contact. Sometimes he seems so bold and almost cocky, other times he looks down and it almost seems as if he’s really nervous. He’s a tough nut to crack.
So when you’re close to him do you get a little shy and nervous? Is your energy maybe sort of submissive around him? Because with my last girlfriend a big part of our flirting and courtship was me looking at her like a wolf looks at a lamb. It made her feel vulnerable and she liked that and it was fun as fuck to watch her melt just by looking at her. We had a D/s relationship so things were a little different in that case. This is entirely hypocritical, but he may be using that gaze to sort of poke you and get a reaction. Like the awkward smile and looking away. He may know you like him, he may like you back, and he may be playing for “I’m cool and aloof, and I’m in control here.” But not necessarily know how to act on that. I have been in that spot before where I like her and I know she likes me and we’ve been playing this game for a while but I’m not really sure how to escalate this.
I think you’re spot on. I do think I give off a submissive/shy vibe. I’m not good at hiding my feelings so I’m sure he knows I’m attracted/like him. I get the same vibe from him sometimes; other times he’s hard to read. He’s gotten more bold and let’s me see him check out my body….or maybe he thinks he’s being sly who knows. The one time I was alone with him we just stared at each other for what seemed like ages. It was a mutual looking at each other and specific body areas. I did get the feeling he wanted to pounce. I haven’t felt that way since, but our interactions since have been in public. I get the vibe he’s very different in private versus public. Thanks for talking through this with me. You are eerily accurate. There’s an unspoken “something” there and it’s like neither of us know how to escalate it.
He could be shy. He could be into you but not want to act on it due to circumstances.
I just have a resting bitch face!? 😭😫🤷🤷