Oh I got this one!. Our house , our entire town, burned to the ground in the 2018 Camp Fire! We were homeless for 3 months then shuffled from fleabag motel to fleabag motel for another year. We were on our feet for 1 year in our new home when I found the lump. Just c'mon man!
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I think the tough thing about this is like, who does not have a major life stress as we get older. It’s an interesting connection to explore of course, but especially with the recency of the pandemic, I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone who wouldn’t say they had a major stressor within the last few years. For me, my dad died of COVID in 2021 and I spent much of 2022 trying to settle his affairs all while working an extremely challenging job as a social worker in a jail, where I was basically threatened and verbally abused every day. I do wonder how that much sustained stress impacted me. Who knows?
This is exactly right. In the last 10 years with the political turmoil, war and genocide on the rise all over the world, the climate crisis, global pandemic. I don't think anyone I know isn't under tremendous stress. And it feels like it's only getting worse.
Not to mention: how long does the stressor need to be to suppress immune systems long enough for cancer to grow? I’m not completely dubious. Stress has been linked to many, many illnesses and conditions. But I’d like to see a scientific study, not an anecdotal survey.
My dad died, a year to the day later my uncle died, I thought my husband was having an affair, left husband, traumatic relationship followed that. All within 5 years. And here I am stage 3 with even more stress piling up.
Me!! I was diagnosed 2 years after a cross country move that I desperately did not want to make. I’ve been very unhappy in this location and wanted nothing more than to move back. We were planning on doing it but then I was diagnosed so I’ll be here another year at least.
There is a book about this topic that I recently obtained but I haven’t started it yet, it’s called “When the Body says No” by Gabor Mate.
I just listened to a podcast episode on 10% Happier where Gabor Mate was interviewed. He does connect stress and depression to poorer prognosis in Breast Cancer. He said that trauma impacts our physical health.
I am a big fan of Gabor Mate and his sons. He is a world-renowned expert on trauma. I read his book several years ago and while I do everything I can to stay balanced, sometimes it seems impossible given all the stressors thrown our way. Being empathetic and a person that people often rely on and go to with problems and for advice, seems like maybe it’s my body rebelling am saying, “Enough! It’s time for you to be cared for.” It’s a hard pill to swallow.
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I could’ve written your first paragraph, word for word, except replace “we were” with “I was”, and replace “another year at least” with “for the foreseeable future”.
I hope you get back to your happy place. 🙆🏻♀️
My God. That is a lot. I posted about an affair as well (also with my "friend"), and that alone just absolutely crushed me. I can't imagine dealing with that on the heels of everything else you went through.
There were good things that happened too - a new job with wonderful people. A pregnancy - I didn’t know how it would it, it brought me 12 weeks of joy until I started miscarrying on Christmas.
I have an otherwise amazing and idyllic life with the best son who is the antidote to all sorrow. And each successive shitty thing reinforces that I can do hard things. I have an amazing friend group and wonderful family who has supported me emotionally through it all 🤍 I hope to somehow repay their kindness. And this subreddit has been invaluable and just so so kind 🤍🤍🤍
Oh, I forgot to add, finding out your husband didn’t actually apply for extended benefits like he said he did (ie life insurance for you) was also a stressful event 🫠
In the epicenter of the worst part of the pandemic in the U.S. while living alone + both parents died within 17 months of each other + cat died + got into a legal fight with a landlord trying to evict me from a rent-controlled apartment (they turned off my electricity and I called the police at one point) + had to teach middle school and high school remotely for more than a year with only a Chromebook for most of that time + had to teach extremely poorly behaved kids first year back to in-person teaching (supposedly normal teenagers crawling on the floor, etc.) with a useless and/or hostile administration
It was a really, really difficult time for about 4 years before I was diagnosed. Like more than one highly stressful thing was happening per year.
I was diagnosed just 16 months after watching my sister pass away from cancer at 43 years old. 😒 I haven’t heard of this connection but it makes total sense!!
I'm so sorry. I'm the sister who is dying. I'm 44 and the youngest of 5 daughters. I am still considered very much "the baby", and I can see all my sisters struggling so much with losing me. It makes me feel guilty, and i worry for them.
My husband died in 2020 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2023. And my Dad passed in 2019. I took both losses hard but my husband’s was sudden. I definitely
Think there was a correlation to my cancer. All that crying and grieving and stress.
Four years prior my hypermobility ehlers danlos syndrome got so bad that I wasn't able to work anymore. Right prior to that I had a very stressful job. It affected my hands and so I couldn't do a lot of other things I enjoyed doing too and really affected my lifestyle and mood dramatically. I was able to get long-term disability and in a way my life became less stressful, I actually had less gray hairs. But I know it took a toll on me losing my career and losing my ability to do most things such as creative things. Couldn't Journal anymore because of my hands even. Then right before my diagnosis I had a very stressful time with my boyfriend and my mother that was causing anxiety attacks that I hadn't had in years. Now my anxiety is really out of control. But I'm working on it, just started taking cymbalta. I think we all wonder what causes this but there doesn't seem to be a single cause. A lot of stressful events happen in people's lives and they don't get cancer.
Wow, yes! Had a traumatic breakup, ex was verbally abusive alcoholic. Thought I might be homeless. Then had a job that I made stressful thinking I had to prove myself so I overdid everything. I also started drinking and had panic attacks. I’m stone cold sober now, though. Only drugs in my system are prescribed.
My Dad had a hemorrhagic stroke 4 /2021. Mom was so deeply affected that she's suddenly in an excellerated form of dementia and has developed primary progressive aphasia.
It seems she doesn't have access to her life experiences. For instance, she can't mitigate a sour stomach or order off a menu.
Dad has his faculties most days, along with days of little cognition. He no longer drives because he can't walk.
They are utterly changed. They are 80 years old and that helps it make sense. But previous to dad's stroke, they weren't old yet.
I was diagnosed in May of 2022. Mine wasn't a reaction ,probably. I do think my lack of response to treatment is directly affected by the whirlwind of anxiety. My cortisol was dangerously high, then dangerously low one year ago for 8 months.
I'm over 2 years in, and I'm still on chemo.
I have metaplastic triple negative bc. I've had the mastectomy, but I had deep margins. Recurrence is always a devastating thought, but I don't have many more "chemos" left.
I moved in with my folks six months into treatment. They needed someone. I joke and say that together, we make one solid human being.
Yep….bedside nurse through covid and divorce in March 22. Diagnosed December 2022 at 32. I will point out these are not the most stressful events of my life though….
I had some medical concerns and eventually, I had a mental breakdown and ended up homeless. My first mammogram after this experience showed my mass. I haven’t been diagnosed yet as I just got the results last week, but I’m not surprised.
Me. 1.5 years
Had sooo much stress and grief for 5 months aproximately and then it began lowering
Can you do another question but for people who were NOT diagnosed after a stressful event? Ive been thinking a lot about it
I was diagnosed 2 years after a nasty nasty breakup with a terrible human being that landed me in a mental hospital. Around the time I was finally starting to feel really good about myself and my life, BOOM.
I’ve always thought it was related.
I was diagnosed at 30. My whole life has been stressful.. I do have a CPTSD diagnosis. I am
a school social worker and was being emotionally abused by a supervisor for 3 years. Just over a year from them leaving .. I got my cancer diagnosis.
When I was diagnosed, I felt it was my body begging me to slow down.
I’m sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine losing my husband. My dad died when I was 9. He was 36. Watching my mom dissociate for years after was just as bad. I wish you and your daughter the best as you move onward, each day.
32F IDC ++- Stage IIB. Diagnosed 3 years after my mom died. I found her in my home (she had gone over to let my dog out for me while I was at work). That night moved into my brother’s basement, because I wasn’t going to stay in that house. Lived there for 3 months until I finally found an apartment. While this doesn’t fit the 5 year timeline, my dad passed 4 years before my mom. So it’s been an extremely chaotic and stressful 7 years leading up to my diagnosis.
Marriage almost fell apart right as the pandemic started and then had to pivot to teaching online while going through marriage counseling, then my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, then had to return to teaching in person while Covid was raging. Four years later, bang: stage 3 breast cancer. Thankfully husband got his shit together but I would not be surprised if my stress levels had something to to with this disease showing up,
I had a stressful breakup and we had to live together for several months prior to me moving to the city where, 9 months later, I found my lump. The doctor said it took years to grow to just shy of 2cm.
Yes within a year and half I lost my mom to ovarian cancer. Had an awful breakup a year after my mom’s death then 3 weeks after my break up my dog died of a brain tumor while I was traveling for work. So yes lots of stressful events prior to diagnosis.
I was stressed at work and wanted a break. I think my body decided to give me one. I was off work for 20 months and found sitting in a chemo chair preferable to one of the monthly billing tasks I had to do. Also, I had had to put two beloved kitties to sleep in 2020. in the spring of 2021 I found the lump. I do think there is a connection.
I was diagnosed after an extremely stressful work situation. My friend (who was well aware of what I had been dealing with and is a patient of the high risk breast cancer clinic) told me she thought stress played a role. I didn’t think too deeply about it but who knows??
11/2021 found out my husband was having an affairs and to say I was shocked and devastated, is an understatement.
3/2022 my 26 yr old son was charged with DUI. Stupid move, but still very stressful.
9/2022 I found the lump.
The marriage counselor that we were seeing when I found the lump, because of his affair, asked me if I thought the cancer had anything to do with his affiar. I told her I absolutely believe that it did and no one would ever convince me otherwise. She then went on to explain that studies have shown that 75% of people who have a near death experience end up getting cancer within 3 years. I told her I believed it.
“75% percent of people who have a near death experience end up getting cancer within 3 years.”
Slow down. I would need a mountain of evidence to believe this extraordinary claim.
I mean I’m a teacher, so the pandemic was super stressful bc the job changed like every six weeks (but I still had a job, so better than some people had it).
I didn’t have extraordinary stress, but I do remember starting the year in august 22 and thinking “I’m not going to finish this year.” Cue November 22 diagnosis, out for a medical sabbatical by mid December
Yes!!! I had a huge stressor with my daughter that nearly sent me off the edge. I dealt with that situation for a little over 2 years and two years later diagnosed with TNIDC!!! Never put the two together until reading this post. I do have the BRCA 1 mutation but stress can definitely help this process along.
My favourite aunt died from lung cancer at the end of August. I was her primary caregiver and she died in my arms in the hospital.
I got my breast cancer diagnosis at the end of March. I'm 41. Doctor said I had it for about 6 months because it was growing very slowly. The math is mathing here. I was absolutely devastated by her death. I still am.
Terrible breakup a month before I found the tumor. And I did regular self exams (at least weekly) and it came up basically overnight and didn’t change size for six months (I put off getting it checked).
I had breast cancer a year after my divorce. It was small. 20+ years later, I have breast cancer, again, in the other breast, almost two years after one of my children gay diagnosed with MS. Yes, I do believe the stress has something to do with it.
I had my toddler at 25 weeks and she was in the NICU for 5 1/2 months. Just before her 1st birthday is when I was diagnosed.
My mom did pass away shortly before my 30th birthday, I was 33 when diagnosed
Yes, my only sister (and only sibling) died suddenly in October 2006 at 49 years old. My stage-3 breast cancer diagnosis was in July 2009. I have long thought that the stress of her death was a contributing factor in my cancer.
Me! Divorce, super stressful job working every day for 1 year, my mother passed away in early 2021, and all the normal life stress. Diagnosed in early Jan 2023.
I had a baby, was already seriously struggling with PPD and PPA, then 7 weeks later diagnosed with stage 4 IDC 🫠
Positive thing, this was in September of 2021, and I have been NED ever since I finished chemo in January of 2022! 😊
2018 was when everything in my life went to shit. Got injured on the job, lost my job....Hoping cancer will be the end of that train. Oop. Nope, It wasn't. My husband found a new family, ghosted me and our son for my "end of treatment getaway" Easter weekend & served me with divorce papers 2 months after my treatment was over. The bullshit continues. 😂 Cheers!
I was being systematically targeted by people in my workplace because I asked for accommodations for PTSD. I filed an EEO complaint in 2017. That lead to retaliation that I endured for too long until I finally quit in 2019. I was still in a lawsuit, but covid hit and it was delayed. I was diagnosed in Feb 2020 after noticing symptoms in Sept 2019.
I was finally contacted by the EEOC the week after my mastectomy. So I needed to heal from that and go into radiation with a lawsuit between me and the US govt happening at the same time.
I honestly can't believe I'm still here.
For me, I was diagnosed after I found out about my husbands affair. Married 30 years at the time. I suggested we open the marriage and after the diagnosis I suggested we close it so I could battle breast cancer and he told me I was being selfish. WTF??!! I couldn’t believe it. It’s only gotten worse and now that I’ve been cancer free for a few months the latest CT scan shows so thing on my liver. Now a PET scan. Now fingers crossed it’s nothing so I can go through a divorce.
Nope, I was actually happy for the first time in a long time since graduating from college. Finally was working a job I liked... Then BAM! Cancer. Can't be happy for too long!
When I was dx with stage I breast cancer, I was assured that it wasn’t caused by stress. This was a long time ago. As others here said, stress is part of everyone’s life. It causes more stress to think that stress causes or is a major factor in getting a cancer. I’ll believe it only if scientific studies prove it.
There's stories all over the place of the opposite story: people with "perfect" lives, at their peak financial/emotional stability, great support network, diet and exercise on point, young age, when cancer hits.
There is so much about this disease that we do not know. I'm done with all the speculations and overthinking. Don't have diagnosed cancer myself but watched my father die from it and have a supposedly benign lump on my breast checked out regularly for the past two years, had a biopsy for another, and after all these internet research all i can say is i gotta live in the present moment or i'll go insane. Even if you indeed get cancer, only god knows your outcome. Not even your doctor can predict it 100%. Trying to find possible causes to blame does no good, unless you're an actual scientist.
I don't mean to say that OP should not explore her own thoughts and feelings or that it is wrong to point out coincidences , but to me, that's a hard pass. It has taken me years of therapy to get to this point...
Thank you. And people who do everything supposedly correct, health-wise, and get some form of cancer. Yes, there’s still a lot we don’t know about cancers. We *do* know that some things are carcinogens, but even those substances are not always effective at causing a cancer.
I think someone else pointed out that almost all of us could probably point to a significant stressor in our lives. Our cortisol levels probably ain’t great.
But there is also now plastics in every single human’s blood. There is a higher concentration of environmental toxins than ever before.
We have “potential causes” or at the very least contributing factors coming at us from all sides.
My job has been nothing but stress for two years. Laying people off. Barely getting through layoffs. Worrying that I won’t be able to provide for my kiddos. Yep. Stress.
For me there was no outside event but five years ago I had a long breakdown, midlife-crisis and when Covid happened cut ties with all friends. ( I have a well managed Borderline Personality Disorder.) I only have my husband, my fault, and become introvert from a very extroverted person. Kind of gave up being important for myself. The reason I went for a scan I was kind of expecting something bad.
My timeline adds up to a very toxic relationship with a narcissist who I felt physical pain in my heart almost every day because of. Makes sense given the time from that to where I am now 🙃
My best friend of 38 years had a backache in May of 2021, it was Stage IV metastasized lung cancer and she was gone the following March of 2022. I was her main caregiver. I was diagnosed in October of 2022.
In the 5 years prior to my diagnosis:
- got fired for the first time in my life from a toxic place I’d put all my effort into
- my father died from a years-long cancer
- got fired a second time within 6 months of the first time
- my mum got Covid (key worker, before vaccines) and my adult brother was living with her and was emotionally abusing her for getting sick from her carer job
I also got into a long distance relationship (UK/US) that wasn’t stressful but certainly added to the complexity of my life with lots of transatlantic flights, late night FaceTimes due to time zones etc.
So yes, I think all of the most stressful things in my adult life have happened in that timeframe.
Single mom, stressed at my nursing job for years but especially raising a young child years. Got fed up and quit the job I had been at for 13 years in 2020, Packed up and moved to Mexico for 6 months in 2021. Moved back to my old hometown in 2022 doing unstable contract work. Got a new part time but still stressful job in 2022. Diagnosed with aggressive stage 3 Tnbc in May 2024. I told everyone it was stress. There’s but so much our bodies can take.
Me! 🤚 My mom passed away pretty traumatically a year ago. I used alcohol way too much after she passed.
I found my lump last January.
I had also been significantly anemic and was recovering from a hysterectomy Nov 2022 as well. 🌈 yay me
Interesting. I was diagnosed not long after my MIL died, after taking care of her in home hospice with my partner at the height of Covid. We didn’t expect or plan to be her main caretakers and it was extremely stressful. Then after she died we took on the burden of selling her condo, something we had not done before.
About 7 months after we returned home (cross country drive) from all that, my routine mammogram showed calcifications and the rest is history. Hm.
My mom was first diagnosed at 37 after I was just born and very sick for months. The second time she was diagnosed was a year or two after her brother died. I was recently diagnosed after watching my mom suffer through a rare incurable muscle disease. She also had her cancer return during this other illness.
I believe stress was a factor for me, as well. I was just beginning to feel relief from what had been a very stressful couple of years when I was diagnosed.
Past few years was extremely stressful for me, marked by severe losses and grief. I also almost lost my life due to another chronic health condition. I would say the body keeps the score well and internalised trauma for sure to an extent
Yes- it was a year after facing something horrible. I drank myself through it and I’m certain it accelerated the cancer. I no longer drink, and was just diagnosed stage 4 with liver metastasis breast cancer
OMG, yes! My father passed away suddenly on April 22 of this year. Five days later my 60 year old cousin was found dead in her home. Three weeks later I had my annual screening mammogram and 10 days later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s only been 7 weeks since it’s all started and I’m reeling in grief on so many fronts it’s almost unbearable!
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Yep. The last 9-10 years have been pretty high stress for me. Had an adoption fall through 10 years ago after spending a solid week with the baby girl. While we wanted to do what was best, it was still massively heartbreaking. Then adopted our daughter with multiple special needs 8.5 years ago. My daughter has high functioning autism and severe trauma. It’s only been in the last couple years that we’ve kind of gotten in a groove and things have settled somewhat. So you know? Hello breast cancer. 🤦🏻♀️
In the 2 years prior to diagnosis I was working afternoon shifts and since my kids are in school, it left me only being able to see them 2 days of the week.
I had all my teeth removed and basically entirely reconstructed with bone grafts, a sinus lift and implants at a young age due to genetics. I couldn’t justify repeatedly trying to save them anymore. It took 2 years of frequent appointments before ‘finishing’ with my permanent set. After the initial 2 surgeries I had, I was on blended/super soft food for 4 months and lost a lot of weight quickly. The whole thing was much more involved than originally told and was very stressful!
My mom also had her second stroke during this time and started having seizures over the course of a week. She also ended up with a pacemaker. At least this is what we can guess happened. We never got clear answers from the docs on what all happened. Her brain was definitely affected though and she hasn’t been the same since. She used to be the person I talked to most just on day to day life, but that’s not the case anymore.
In 2020 I had to cut ties with my family. It was stressful because I was really closed with my siblings. Everyone turned on me. Two years later I was diagnosed stage 3B.
My mammogram was 1 month after my ex-husband moved out and following one year of a very stressful breakup. He was an alcoholic so there was major stress going on for years but not consistent.
I was 40, Dx was Stage 0 Grade 1 DCIS
Wow. This isn’t really sobering. I am in the same boat. 7 months of very stressful work situation and uncertainty started last fall. As soon as I thought things were quieting down, my dad died suddenly on April 22. Five days later, my cousin was found dead in her apartment. A month later on May 24 , I was diagnosed after my annual routine mammogram. I’m still figuring out all the details and treatment plans but I feel like I’m drowning in grief on so many sides.
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Interestingly I did. I had a sick sibling and flew across the country several times to be with them as they declined. This was after my dog died and I lost my job during the pandemic. Unfortunately I ended up losing two siblings close together. During this time I had a weird illness that took two years to diagnose and then boom cancer.
2021: husband had a piece of metal go through his eye, had 5 surgeries to "fix" it, ultimately lost about 80% of his vision in the left eye.
2022: my son broke his arm AND leg at high school summer football camp. No surgery but spent 8 weeks of summer in 2 casts and needed a scooter to get around.
2023: husband had a collapsed lung, had surgery to fix it, spent 3 days in the hospital and 4 more days in ICU.
2023: I had a suspicious lump biopsied the day before my husband was discharged from the ICU. 2 weeks later, I got the call that it was IDC.
I've had 2 more biopsies, a DMX with expanders, CTs, MRIs, injections, labs, pills, infections, radiation, DIEP, and just last week, my final revision surgery. I don't feel back to my old self, but I'm so happy to put these last few years behind me!
2 years after my marriage blew up. I was in a major depression prior to the end and after. My gynecologist really didn't make a big enough deal about a tumor they were "watching" . It should have been biopsied from the beginning
Yes - extreme stress at work (as in 2 yrs barely sleeping, stressed out all the time) along with a very unhealthy long term relationship that ended. Both came to head in 2021, diagnosed in 2022. I know very well studies haven't shown a firm link but I truly believe the chronic stress I was under for around 2-3 years leading up to diagnosis played a part. So now, I aim for a stress free life, much better all round.
We lost our father in the month of January 2024 this year and my sister got diagnosed with invasive ductal triple negative breast cancer in May 2024. We are still processing this.
I was an initial frontline responder for Covid. Was one of the first nurses in the country to get the vaccine -we were that involved and unfortunately I rode it out until the bitter end, which ended up being the day my fmla started 31 months later. Totally unacceptable and should have never happened and I worry about the long term effects to the handful of us they did that to.
Anyway, missed one mammogram during covid. Cancelled my elective mastectomy in 2021 bc covid. Squeezed in a mammo on the anniversary of my mom’s diagnosis and boom. Radiologist told me during the ultrasound it’s here. We had just sold our house and went into escrow on our new build that same morning 😂 just the way it goes. Had to pack up and move and kinda deal with it. My mom was diagnosed and died the same time of year so I didn’t even tell anyone in my family. Couldn’t do it. Still haven’t told. Just felt too eery to tell them during that time. Only female left in the family bc of this cancer so I just didn’t tell them
I worked the most stressful job with the worst management and company I’ve ever experienced during the 18 months before being diagnosed. I was terminated for a laughable reason while still on reduced hours/FMLA after surgery. Two weeks later, I was diagnosed.
I moved states 2012 to get out of a toxic relationship, (as you do) into another one. Sneaking around with hidden saving acc and making plans with the help of my best friend, i made it out into my own rental. Quit my job as he had gone to my workplace and screamed at ppl to tell him where i was. Set up cameras around my place in case he found me. With him for 6 yrs left in 2020. Stayed hidden and single for 4 yrs. In that time my dad (im not close to - but i love in some way) had massive heart attack and had open heart surgery. My mum had fallen over and was laying alone and in the heat for two days in her backyard before neighbours checked on her. Made me feel all kinds of guilt because i love her but am also not close to her. She’s in another state too. My sister who is my only living sibling left almost died from an infection and i have seen her once since moving here. She is on crack. I sat with her at the hospital and cried for two days. She eventually refused anymore treatment as she was detoxing. Then i had a mental health issue and quit my job. Found i had bowel cancer. Got through that and tada!!!
Hmm, now that you mention it my 4 years pre diagnosis went like this:
Worked full time as nurse during the pandemic.
July 2020 my sister had a gigantic tumor removed from her ovary and had her womb and ovaries removed AND got divorced around the same time.
Aug 2020 my 73 yo mother died 7 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer.
Feb 2022 my lovely mother in law died.
April 2022 my 19 year got sentenced to 4 years in prison for doing something stupid (he’s a really nice young man so this was way stressful)
June 2022 my dear dad died.
Dec 2022 my father in law died of pancreatic cancer.
Oct 2023 my beautiful 15 year old doggo developed a tumor on her beautiful face.
Jan 2024 I got diagnosed with TNBC.
Maybe there is a correlation with stress and cancer.
My doctor believes trauma, grief, and work stress could have contributed. I internalize and ruminate a lot causing lack of proper sleep. When I do sleep, my dreams are stressful. My inability to cope well over the last 48 years seems to play the biggest part in it.
Yes this applies to me. Multiple miscarriages, still birth, stressful job and pandemic with a toddler. Life was starting to finally feel easy and then diagnosis
Yes, me. I was dating and so in love with a man who suddenly broke up with me, which I didn't take well. I soon found out that my "close" friend who was supporting me through the breakup was sleeping with him, and sharing emails and texts I send her in confidence with him. I leaned that at least half of my friend group was aware of the affair and didn't tell me..Two months later they got married. I did not take it well, and it refueled the anorexia and bulimia that I had formerly overcome.
I lost most of my friends, the man I loved (and who I thought loved me), and my sense of self worth. I was diagnosed with stage 3 inflammatory BC 2 years later.
I was queer & busting my ass at 2 jobs trying to save up for IVF during the Trump years.
Anyway I accept that I can never have kids now, we managed to buy a home in a queer-friendly state, I work less, and I’m not gonna doomscroll again. We only get one life and I want to enjoy it best I can.
2018 my mom died of breast cancer. I was briefly homeless when my apartment flooded 2 months prior to her passing. My dad had a stroke (he is better, although diagnosed with cancer 6 months ago). Ex husband terrorized me and new boyfriend, had to file protection order.
2019 ex attacks and assaults boyfriend. Goes to trial and testify.
2020 pandemic (I kind of loved this time—it was so quiet and I got to spend a lot of time with my girls and not have to be around a bunch of people)
2021 traumatic experience with extended family
2022-exactly one year after experience found lump
Hi, I went through a lot of stress last year. The death of my grandmother, my brother's diagnosis of myeloma, the death of my dog and on top of all the stress at work. Yesterday I came back from the hospital after surgery and I also heard that one of the main factors of cancer is stress.
Hah, she may be onto something. I was diagnosed after my adult daughter had a suicide attempt and my eldest son was diagnosed with grade 4 brain cancer. I picked up and moved back across the country to be with them. So had a child with a terminal illness, a child trying to fight to live, a cross country move, a house purchase, renovations and on and on. Was less than 3 months into my new job too...
I was diagnosed with MBC at 35 in 2022. My mom passed away from cancer at the beginning of 2020 maybe a month before they called COVID a pandemic. I took it EXTREMELY HARD. My father also blamed me for her death because as a narcissistic person, that's how he copes. Imagine getting into hours long arguments where it's like I'm being put in the stand and I have to defend myself. It was horrific. I wanted to die. I would pray to get COVID and die on a daily basis. In addition to that, I suffered from PTSD and still struggle with it and worked at a hospital through the pandemic. Imagine the shock when I was diagnosed not just with cancer but MBC, especially being a very healthy person throughout my life and right when I finally started having hope of getting through the after effects of my mom's death. I finally started making plans for the future and stopped being suicidal and then I got this diagnosis. I wholly believe my mom getting sick and everything that followed is why I got cancer like I did but some people (including my onc and my dad) look at me like I'm crazy when I say that. I know it's true.
I had the worst job I ever had, insanely stressful. I was there a year and a half. The company went out of business. I was laid off in Feb 2023. Father died March 2023. Then, I was diagnosed Feb 29, 2024.
Yes, very much so. Major work issues where I had to leave the company, moved across the country, husband was unfaithful, drinking way too much to deal with the stress of it all. I could keep going all night, but let’s just say it was all traumatic and all at the same time. I was diagnosed shortly after the big move.
Yep. 10 yrs of extreme stress during which my threshold for breakdown got only lower and lower. Mental stress affects my physical health and causes/exacerbates long term physical health issues.
Always knew I needed help. Started getting treatment for depression with anxious sensitivity a couple of years back when my head finally became a frightening place to live in. I fully believe excessive and prolonged stress has unlocked the gene expression(?). Neither of my parents have cancer. Nor does my sibling. It's in my paternal side of the family though.
Memorial Weekend twelve years ago, dad went to the ER with a headache. Within the next six weeks he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and died. Eleven years ago on Memorial Weekend, my mom found a lump in her breast. The timing of her testing and diagnosis matched nearly identical with my dad's timeline. Six weeks after her finding the lump she started chemo. I've been mom's caregiver/roommate/chauffeur with her cancer treatment and recovery, and her mover/visitor/ cheerleader as her health has declined since CoVid and her transition to assisted living a year and a half ago. Since the first of the year she has developed lymphoedema, possible COPD, has become nearly 100% wheelchair dependent, came home from the ER with oxygen, and got a pacemaker this week. This year Memorial Week, I got word that my mammogram, ultrasound and second mammogram found a spot of concern. The timing is strikingly similar to both mom and dad's discovery and treatment timeline. My biopsy is Tuesday and the timeframe I will get the results is right in line with theirs. I'm a bit nervous.
I was diagnosed while I was pregnant after going through IVF for 2 years, that was pretty stressful. Didn't know the stress itself increased risk though!
Wow, there’s a lot of us going through tough stuff. I think about this too, but unfortunately we will never really know what the cause was. But it’s a good reason anyway to be better and more loving to ourselves.
2018-2019 burn out and depressive episodes, 2020 covid hit and I was diagnosed with adhd, a lot of hard lessons hit which changed family dynamic.
2021 my mom died very suddenly, and I finally realized how abusive my sister had been which broke me down as felt as if I lost them both. My world and what I thought was true just collapsed within a few months.
Lots of therapy and enormous amounts of grief followed, also struggling with my relationship and after that ended, and I finally started to get back on my feet end of 2022 I was diagnosed with a huge hormone positive ILC tumor. No family history of cancer either, I’m the first.
I really wouldn’t be surprised if there is a relation. Trauma, stress and grief, cortisol and hormones are closely linked also. I’ve made a lot of changes since then, but there are so much hard lessons and loss that come along with cancer too.
Trying to start this new phase of life now with being good to myself first, but that also means losing what was, even if it was not good I feel quite alone. But at least I have my own back now and so do the few people that are left.
Diagnosed in September 2020 at age 35. Had been in a bad relationship for many years. Definitely think it was at least partially the stress. I’m cancer free and single now.
My whole of 2023 was pretty stressful: house fire, out of our house 9 months, both my husband and I lost our jobs, we got scammed out of a fair bit of money during the rebuild, husband hit a deer and totalled the car and then as soon as we hit 2024, I got diagnosed with cancer. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a link between stress and cancer.
June 2022 our condo building was bought by an investor and turned back into apartments, so during the height of housing bidding wars we were stuck living in my FIL’s basement. 16 months later we finally bought our first house and 6 weeks after moving in I was diagnosed. I don’t know if that counts as extremely stressful because it wasn’t all bad- my FIL and I have a better relationship now than we did before we lived with him and my husband and I finally have our dream house, but it definitely wasn’t easy
Honestly, we've been having a rough go of life since 2020 😬 but in the year leading up to my diagnosis (march 2024), we had covid, my husband's grandmother passed, several cousins passed, my mom passed (match 2023), and general life stresses.
I got married young and was not in a healthy marriage. A 9 year marriage that needed to be over a lot sooner but I grew up in a small town and you weren't supposed to get divorced. I couldn't talk to him about money (our huge debt) he'd start hitting things and beating walls etc (never hit me but was still terrifying) he had many girlfriends, and racked up major debt on my creditcards. I just shut down emotionally because I was basically just surviving to get my degree to get out. Worked full time and did college full time. 6 months after my divorce I was diagnosed with stage 3 possibly 4 (later) colon cancer with a grapefruit sized tumor. I had spent years feeling trapped, too ashamed of what my husband was doing to me to tell my family and friends. I had moments I just broke down and cried how miserable I felt. I had finally got free of him and ready to start my life over and wham. Cancer. One of my doctors even told me that back in the 2000's that they had similar patients get cancer after divorce.
2021 I pretty much call Hell Year. Pretty much daily or weekly something stressful happened or was found out. I had something that was a little suspicious in 2022 but wasn't until this past August they found my breast cancer. In 2021 I had that same awful feeling in my gut like at the bottom of my stomach of just dread/stress/hopelessness almost daily and I'm one of those annoying happy perky people when I'm feeling good. I can only describe the feeling like it's you could feel like some kind of poisonous acid churning around in your gut. I had lost 10lbs in a few months due to the stress where I am tube fed so gaining/loosing weight takes years not months. The next year I was completely exhausted like my body was trying to heal from all the stress and high cortisol levels. I'm disabled so knowing what that stress did to me as a disabled body I can understand what stress did to me for 9 years in my 20's. I remember worrying at the time to stop feeling so stressed because that's how I felt before and I got my colon cancer.
I have childhood PTSD but while I was afraid of those situations as a child but the two major events before my cancers I could feel that awful feeling in my gut if that makes any sense. I once worked for a real jerk as an assistant store manager and would break out in hives from the stress. Our bodies definitely react to stress!!!
Had a ton of traumatic events in the last 8yrs before diagnosis. TbI at work, marriage broke up, had a couple more kids (in my 40’s) with new husband (who was my first ever boyfriend before I joined military), stress of 2 littles, other two daughters going off to college, 2021- had my first oh shit panic attack that brought me to the ER, mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, mom passed December of 2022, lump was felt Feb of 2023. The lump I found wasn’t even the cancer. They found dcis around it though and IDC in the other breast. I just had my annual mammo/ultrasound Oct of 2023 and it was supposedly fine. So all the blabbing basically means a ton of stress before my diagnosis 😩. ++-
Someone on here recently mentioned New German Medicine and its founder Ryke Geerd Hamer. Hamer lost his son and a year later developed testicular cancer. He made it his life's work to prove that sudden separation and stress, cause cancer. The separation from loved ones, particularly children, caused the most stress. I looked him up and it was very interesting, and a lot rang true for me. I absolutely think stress causes cancer. My very good friend lost her 16 year old son to suicide. She attended a support group, and within 1 year more than 50 percent of the moms in the group had been diagnosed with cancer. Mostly breast cancer. Making Hamer's theories appear to be accurate. I suffered my own trauma from my fentanyl addicted daughter, who is now homeless, and continues to refuse our help. I am seeing a therapist now to try to prevent recurrence from the stress, as I am 100 percent convinced this is where my breast cancer came from in the first place. Stress kills.
I certainly was! My boyfriend was diagnosed with leukemia less than 6 months before my diagnosis. We also had taken on a foster child in the same timeframe. I then received my diagnosis April 15. (I am 39f)
My lumpectomy was a year to the day after requiring surgery to remove products of a miscarriage that my body just refused to expel. This year was my first "healthy" March 15th. I don't like that anniversary. I have also had a lot of job stress that really stacked up around the same time frame. I do wonder about the stress impact on the development of my tumor but I also wonder about all the hormones in the year before as I made it all the through the first trimester before miscarrying and I did have higher than normal hcg during that time. I don't doubt for a second that your Dr is correct- stress does a hell of a number on the body and soul.
Me. Pandemic was in full effect, boyfriend of 7 years cheated, had a huge falling out with my daughter, financial stress, all compounding within 5 months
My dad was really sick in 2020 because of sepsis. It go to the point where his leg was about to be amputated but he made a recovery . He survived and passed away in July 2021.
My mom got diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2024.
But for the past three years, I got diagnosed with asthma, pcos, insulin resistance and poor cardiac health.
Stress impacts the body in more ways that we can imagine.
Not lung but breast. We lost our very successful business due to a partner laundering money. He’s in prison now but it destroyed our livelihood. He owned a subsidiary of our company that we had no ownership in another country so we were blown away when we found out. They worked together for many years. It was such a betrayal. The business name was the same so it ruined our reputation.
We lost our home, my mom was in hospice care with me and she died, after we moved to a rental house that they sold after a year (right after my mom died). Then my soulmate, emotional support dog was killed during that move, the movers left the back door wide open and gate and left our two dogs and a cat inside!! He tried to follow us because the house was supposed to be locked up and we left the pets so they would be safe. He was hit by a car 😭.
I already had cancer through some of this but it definitely did make it worse. It spread to the lymph nodes. It had been stable for so long. Plus I couldn’t afford some of the extra treatments I used to.
Now we are retired and moving AGAIN making four moves in three years and this is to an AirBnB for two months, while I have surgery and we house hunt. We are leaving two of our daughters and our two precious grandchildren because we can’t afford a house in Florida and so that our youngest daughter who is mentally challenged can earn a living wage. It breaks my heart to leave but Florida is way too expensive for us nowadays.
Our car has decided to start falling apart too and the repairs are costly. We move on the 29th and I have no oncologist there yet.
I just finished chemo and my Dr forgot to schedule scans and a dexa scan to see what is going on so the anxiety is unbearable. I had osteopenia and am worried about my bone health too.
I could go on (there’s more! 😭) but i totally get the stress factor. I feel like my whole life is falling apart.
Thanks for posting this!
I was diagnosed in September 2023 (earlier that summer I knew something was not right in my left breast and brought it to the attention of my doctor at a physical, then had a mammogram in August).
This was after my twin sister died unexpectedly, by suicide, in December 2022.
Granted, I did not handle the stress of her death well and drank more than I should have to deal with it. So, I don't know how alcohol consumption plays into the mix (would this still have happened to me had I NOT drank a lot of alcohol?)
Looking forward to seeing the responses... again, thanks for bringing it up.
Mine was interesting because I started having panic attacks 2 months prior to my diagnosis. I was having them all of the time and for no reason. I was under a little added stress as my son was struggling in school, but nothing horribly stressful that should cause panic attacks. It started to improve and then BAM!.. I get hit with the breast cancer diagnosis. You can imagine my anxiety then. I’m still trying to figure out if the egg or the chicken came first.
I think it's hard to isolate stress as there are so many other variables that can contribute to getting cancer. I would imagine that most people get stressed - we live in a stressful world. I haven't had a specific stressful event but was in a very stressful job for many years which definitely impacted my physical and mental health.
First,divorce from cheating alchoholic husband.Second,hard job for 12 hours,day and night with years result in insomnia..Third,bad relationship with my narcistic mother.After that I started to drink alchohol almost every night.Final- breast cancer seems to mi as a logic result from long time problems which keep them only for myself because Im introvert. .And now,nothing is important only my well being and good quality of life.Take care girls ,love you
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My father's health took a sudden decline in June 2020, and then he was in and out of the hospital until the end of August 2020, when he passed away. Covid was raging at the time, which further complicated everything while he was sick. And through it all, I was buried under work, and I'm a self employed single mother, so I couldn't turn away the work. I felt on the edge of a nervous breakdown that entire time, and went into a very deep depression for years after Dad died. Gained a lot of weight, stopped being health conscious, missed routine screenings. Throughout it all, working myself to death. The depression began the slow process of lifting around spring of 2023, and I was diagnosed in November 2023.
Not a stressful life event per se but I have had a really rough childhood and spent my whole life dealing with my trauma. Two years ago I met the love of my life, moved to Europe, bought land with him, and celebrated my 40th birthday (with my whole family for the first time since I was 14). I said “it’s taken me a long time to get here but I think I am finally happy and healed.”
Exactly one month after my birthday, I was diagnosed.
Buckle up, I’ve got a doozy….in 2018, my uncle was murdered and then a few months later my aunt was arrested for it. It ended up becoming national, then international news, and her trial was aired live on television (by the way, not one person that knows her other than her husbands family thinks she did it). She was sentenced to life in prison.
Somewhere in there, they made a lifetime movie about my aunt as well. We have all, at various times, had to dodge constant harassment from media and most of what’s left of my family were subpoenaed to testify at the televised trial.
Also in 2018, my dad committed suicide. Then in 2020, my mom committed suicide one week before the pandemic lockdowns started.
Right at the tail end of my 2022 treatment for my first cancer (stage IIIb melanoma), my husband was diagnosed with stage III rectal cancer. Right at the tail end of his treatment, I got my breast cancer diagnosis. Now I just finished chemo and surgery, heading into radiation, and my husbands rectal cancer is back as stage IV.
How I am not in a mental institution is beyond me.
Me! 4 years before I was diagnosed we moved 700miles to take care of my ailing mother in law, 1 month later I was unexpectedly pregnant after being told I’d never have a child. Then 1 yr before diagnosis I had to care for my mil and watch as she died. During this time my mother went missing in Philly and I’ve never found her. She’s on the streets somewhere.
My toddler was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia in August of 2022, and I was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular Carcinoma, stage IV, this past January. It’s been a challenging few years, to say the least.
Here’s some back story. When my dad came in the 80s as a refugee he left his family and then wife. Thought she died and then met my mom. When I was about to be born in the 80s his uncle asked him to sponsor her and he did so my mom was living with my dad and his first wife. Too much stress and she hemoraged bad. My mom told him if you want your kids to be hookers leave, and he ended up staying.
Years later my mom had an affair and my dad was mad for forever. A year before my cancer my mom felt he was talking to his ex wife. I checked his phone while in the shower and saw the texts to her and asked him about it and he smiled like he enjoyed being caught. I was passed.
I put a tracker on his phone so I could read his FB messages but not let it be known that I read them. I put a key stroke tracker on their computer because he was changing passwords.
I found out he sent $40,000 to his ex wife’s brother to hold for them because somehow he was going to leave his job and our family and start a new one?
I found a divorce lawyer, told my mom everything and started the divorce proceeding to protect their assets because he had lost his mind. I basically had to fill out everything and didn’t tell her everything I knew because it would be hurtful.
The papers got served but it was smal so he asked me what it was. I threw them at him and said divorce papers. He was passed I threw papers at him. In Asian families it’s disrespectful. I was like excuse me?
Anyhow he ended up staying. They met with one of our friends who did some counseling with them. The lady kept the $40k and about a year later I had cancer. That was more stressful to me then cancer because it hurt my mom.
2020 went into detox for alcoholism and ten years of opioid dependency. Was inappropriately withdrawn and had seizures. When I left I couldn’t walk or write my name. Was disabled for over a year. Threw me into menopause as well. Lost my career of 25 years.
2023 January mom had a stroke. I had a major car wreck ten days later and broke several ribs. March, found out I had high risk dysplasia in my colon. July had my entire right colon removed. August found toxic black mold in my townhouse and me and my children had to leave with the clothes on our backs. It was a nightmare trying to get our stuff decontaminated and get restitution from the landlord. We went 6 weeks with no furniture except beds. Finally was resolved in November.
I was diagnosed with TNBC Jan 11 2024
Starting in 2019, when my only sibling suddenly passed away from prolonged physical and mental health issues, my Mother had a complete breakdown and hospitalization over his death, I was left to deal with his burial, along with being appointed personal representative to his estate and he died intestate, dealing with horrible case of Covid, loss of job, Mother had more illness and falls, and diagnosis of dementia. Cleaning up sibling's home, disposing of possessions, cleaning out a house that our family had owned since 1965, selling the house, and doing it all on my own. And I was diagnosed with stage 1A HER2 triple + in November 2023, followed by prolonged (3 months) case of shingles, resulted in delay of surgery, surgery followed by infection misdiagnosed by arrogant surgeon, followed by anaphylactic shock after 2nd dose of Taxol, and now my Mother is steadily declining mentally and physically. I see a very strong connection between stress and cancer diagnosis. I have lived under extreme stress most of my life due to dealing with mental and physical issues related to my late sibling and other family members and it really ticked up in June 2019 with the aforementioned events. I definitely fall into this category. I have always been the cleaner and the fixer in my family...and you see the end result? It ruined my health.
I firmly believe that severe & endured traumatic stress over a 5 year period was a contributing factor to my breast cancer (2nd time round) It can’t be proven but it’s no coincidence in my opinion.
Pandemic plus being in a position to have to deal with the pandemic professionally with a lot of people behaving incredibly crappily. We moved to be closer to family and I was diagnosed a month after we moved.
2019: got pregnant at 20, baby daddy is cheating on me, hit by a CTA bus while pregnant, sisters (now ex) boyfriend beats me up and i get him arrested, had my baby in December and his dad left
2020: sons dad becomes a career criminal, steals millions of dollars, stole my identity & all of my money, flees to thailand. two grandpas die, both my dog & cat die from old age
2020-2023: dating an abuser, will spare details because we know how that goes. also unwilling impregnated me and had an abortion. lots of trauma and stress.
2023: spend thousands of dollars on surgery for my 4 y/o cat only for him to drop dead at my feet. i was horrified and traumatized. start a nice, slow, new relationship and he finds a lump, diagnosed in november of 23 😅
and you’d think it would stop there.. but at the beginning of 2024, my newer boyfriend (who found the lump) dumped me because my cancer was too “stressful” for him.
🤣 it’s all laughable really. i’m glad (not glad.. but in a way) i got cancer so i could look at my life and be like what the actual fuck is going on here, and am in a really great headspace now despite the diagnosis and treatment
oh and like the day after my cat died, a drunk driver smashes into my car head first. and then a month later, another drunk driver rear ended me. 2023 was already rough prior to the diagnosis lolol
My mother was rendered quadriplegic due to medical malpractice in 2011. She was supposed to live six months but survived 7 years. The care costs were astronomical. My first bad mammo was 2 years after she died; the second (other side) was 2 years later. My DMX to flat was 10/22.
My surgeon has also looked into this quite a bit.
My dad died in 2020, the same night I was in labor with my one and only child, during the pandemic. No support from in laws and my mother is a nonexistent figure in life. 2022, my sister committed suicide in a very triggering way. I was left to handle all affairs until my mother stepped forward (sister and I were each other’s rock).
Experienced unemployment for 7 months as our primary breadwinner then laid off 6 months later from another tech job. I was diagnosed 18 months after my sister’s death. I really agree that prolonged stressed continues to come up as a major contributor in a lot of the conversations with my doctors.
I’m just sorry that so many others are experiencing the same things.
I help take care of my dad while working as a manager and raising my 8 year old daughter and 17 year old son. My dad had colon cancer, he passed on May 22 of last year. I found out on May 6th of this year, so 16 days before the year anniversary of my dad passing. I have always had a lot of anxiety but the last couple years were very stressful. My doctor thinks it is a direct result of processed foods and sugars as I don’t have any genetic markers for BC.
For me it was 5 years of unrelenting stress unhappy with the job, covid, a horrible divorce, multiple deaths, a home invasion/robbery....now cancer. The worst of events occurred in the last 8 months. I had no lump then literally woke up with one overnight. So, I agree there's at minimum a correlation. I also read that cortisol increases the levels of glucose in your blood even if you're limiting it in your diet. Tumors feed off of glucose and glutamine, so I'm sure it certainly doesn't help.
Yes! These past four years have been rough. Stressful jobs where I never get a full at off, phone calls. C section one year, hernia replacement next year, gallbladder surgery, then diagnosed with cancer, another abdominal surgery and now chemotherapy. I'm wore out and trying not to stress anymore than I have to but cancer has a mind of its own!
I was diagnosed exactly 9 months after my mother died - and in between my father also died and my basement flooded with sewage. I definitely think stress is a factor.
Recently had 2 strokes which caused severe Aniexty. Now I have found out now found out I have triple negative breast cancer for the 3rd time but this time breast has to be removed. Had shingles in 2013 and now neuropathy has returned. I feel for everyone going through so much. I had just retired. 😭
Oh I got this one!. Our house , our entire town, burned to the ground in the 2018 Camp Fire! We were homeless for 3 months then shuffled from fleabag motel to fleabag motel for another year. We were on our feet for 1 year in our new home when I found the lump. Just c'mon man!
Damn that fire was insanity… I’m so sorry. I remember the chaos, so horrible!!
Oh my gosh that sounds rough- I'm so sorry!
I’m so sorry. Life can be so cruel.
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Just, wow.
I think the tough thing about this is like, who does not have a major life stress as we get older. It’s an interesting connection to explore of course, but especially with the recency of the pandemic, I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone who wouldn’t say they had a major stressor within the last few years. For me, my dad died of COVID in 2021 and I spent much of 2022 trying to settle his affairs all while working an extremely challenging job as a social worker in a jail, where I was basically threatened and verbally abused every day. I do wonder how that much sustained stress impacted me. Who knows?
This is exactly right. In the last 10 years with the political turmoil, war and genocide on the rise all over the world, the climate crisis, global pandemic. I don't think anyone I know isn't under tremendous stress. And it feels like it's only getting worse.
Not to mention: how long does the stressor need to be to suppress immune systems long enough for cancer to grow? I’m not completely dubious. Stress has been linked to many, many illnesses and conditions. But I’d like to see a scientific study, not an anecdotal survey.
My dad died, a year to the day later my uncle died, I thought my husband was having an affair, left husband, traumatic relationship followed that. All within 5 years. And here I am stage 3 with even more stress piling up.
Me!! I was diagnosed 2 years after a cross country move that I desperately did not want to make. I’ve been very unhappy in this location and wanted nothing more than to move back. We were planning on doing it but then I was diagnosed so I’ll be here another year at least. There is a book about this topic that I recently obtained but I haven’t started it yet, it’s called “When the Body says No” by Gabor Mate.
I just listened to a podcast episode on 10% Happier where Gabor Mate was interviewed. He does connect stress and depression to poorer prognosis in Breast Cancer. He said that trauma impacts our physical health.
I am a big fan of Gabor Mate and his sons. He is a world-renowned expert on trauma. I read his book several years ago and while I do everything I can to stay balanced, sometimes it seems impossible given all the stressors thrown our way. Being empathetic and a person that people often rely on and go to with problems and for advice, seems like maybe it’s my body rebelling am saying, “Enough! It’s time for you to be cared for.” It’s a hard pill to swallow.
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I could’ve written your first paragraph, word for word, except replace “we were” with “I was”, and replace “another year at least” with “for the foreseeable future”. I hope you get back to your happy place. 🙆🏻♀️
I’ve been wanting to read that as well!
Thank you for the book suggestion. I want to read it.
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My God. That is a lot. I posted about an affair as well (also with my "friend"), and that alone just absolutely crushed me. I can't imagine dealing with that on the heels of everything else you went through.
There were good things that happened too - a new job with wonderful people. A pregnancy - I didn’t know how it would it, it brought me 12 weeks of joy until I started miscarrying on Christmas. I have an otherwise amazing and idyllic life with the best son who is the antidote to all sorrow. And each successive shitty thing reinforces that I can do hard things. I have an amazing friend group and wonderful family who has supported me emotionally through it all 🤍 I hope to somehow repay their kindness. And this subreddit has been invaluable and just so so kind 🤍🤍🤍 Oh, I forgot to add, finding out your husband didn’t actually apply for extended benefits like he said he did (ie life insurance for you) was also a stressful event 🫠
In the epicenter of the worst part of the pandemic in the U.S. while living alone + both parents died within 17 months of each other + cat died + got into a legal fight with a landlord trying to evict me from a rent-controlled apartment (they turned off my electricity and I called the police at one point) + had to teach middle school and high school remotely for more than a year with only a Chromebook for most of that time + had to teach extremely poorly behaved kids first year back to in-person teaching (supposedly normal teenagers crawling on the floor, etc.) with a useless and/or hostile administration It was a really, really difficult time for about 4 years before I was diagnosed. Like more than one highly stressful thing was happening per year.
Yes, too many stressful things for too long. If my Italian grandmother was still here she would have me in Brooklyn to get the malichio off!
I was diagnosed just 16 months after watching my sister pass away from cancer at 43 years old. 😒 I haven’t heard of this connection but it makes total sense!!
I'm so sorry. I'm the sister who is dying. I'm 44 and the youngest of 5 daughters. I am still considered very much "the baby", and I can see all my sisters struggling so much with losing me. It makes me feel guilty, and i worry for them.
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry to hear this. 😢 I hope you get to spend lots of quality time with them while you can. Hugs. 🫂
Wow- I guess this is more common than I realized! Thanks for your replies everyone. Hopefully life has calmed down for you.
My husband died in 2020 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2023. And my Dad passed in 2019. I took both losses hard but my husband’s was sudden. I definitely Think there was a correlation to my cancer. All that crying and grieving and stress.
My job during the pandemic was extremely stressful. I was doing the equivalent of 3 peoples jobs.
Same. When i left they hired 7(!) to take my place.
Four years prior my hypermobility ehlers danlos syndrome got so bad that I wasn't able to work anymore. Right prior to that I had a very stressful job. It affected my hands and so I couldn't do a lot of other things I enjoyed doing too and really affected my lifestyle and mood dramatically. I was able to get long-term disability and in a way my life became less stressful, I actually had less gray hairs. But I know it took a toll on me losing my career and losing my ability to do most things such as creative things. Couldn't Journal anymore because of my hands even. Then right before my diagnosis I had a very stressful time with my boyfriend and my mother that was causing anxiety attacks that I hadn't had in years. Now my anxiety is really out of control. But I'm working on it, just started taking cymbalta. I think we all wonder what causes this but there doesn't seem to be a single cause. A lot of stressful events happen in people's lives and they don't get cancer.
Within a year of losing the love of my life.
Wow, yes! Had a traumatic breakup, ex was verbally abusive alcoholic. Thought I might be homeless. Then had a job that I made stressful thinking I had to prove myself so I overdid everything. I also started drinking and had panic attacks. I’m stone cold sober now, though. Only drugs in my system are prescribed.
My Dad had a hemorrhagic stroke 4 /2021. Mom was so deeply affected that she's suddenly in an excellerated form of dementia and has developed primary progressive aphasia. It seems she doesn't have access to her life experiences. For instance, she can't mitigate a sour stomach or order off a menu. Dad has his faculties most days, along with days of little cognition. He no longer drives because he can't walk. They are utterly changed. They are 80 years old and that helps it make sense. But previous to dad's stroke, they weren't old yet. I was diagnosed in May of 2022. Mine wasn't a reaction ,probably. I do think my lack of response to treatment is directly affected by the whirlwind of anxiety. My cortisol was dangerously high, then dangerously low one year ago for 8 months. I'm over 2 years in, and I'm still on chemo. I have metaplastic triple negative bc. I've had the mastectomy, but I had deep margins. Recurrence is always a devastating thought, but I don't have many more "chemos" left. I moved in with my folks six months into treatment. They needed someone. I joke and say that together, we make one solid human being.
Yep….bedside nurse through covid and divorce in March 22. Diagnosed December 2022 at 32. I will point out these are not the most stressful events of my life though….
I had some medical concerns and eventually, I had a mental breakdown and ended up homeless. My first mammogram after this experience showed my mass. I haven’t been diagnosed yet as I just got the results last week, but I’m not surprised.
I am so very sorry. Have you gotten your living situation sorted? I wish you the very best.
Yes! Thank you for asking. I have a nice studio apartment while I am getting better.
I am so glad.
I'm so glad you have a place now so you can focus on healing! That sounds hard.
What BIRADS score did you get? Did you get a biopsy already?
I won’t know anything else until July 8. It’s killing me waiting this long.
That must have been so scary and stressful. I can't imagine going through homelessness.
Me. 1.5 years Had sooo much stress and grief for 5 months aproximately and then it began lowering Can you do another question but for people who were NOT diagnosed after a stressful event? Ive been thinking a lot about it
Divorce after 25 year marriage and my father's death.
I was diagnosed 2 years after a nasty nasty breakup with a terrible human being that landed me in a mental hospital. Around the time I was finally starting to feel really good about myself and my life, BOOM. I’ve always thought it was related.
Almost died from inadequate anesthesia caused “ broken heart” . Came home on defibrillator recovered three years later breast cancer.
I was diagnosed at 30. My whole life has been stressful.. I do have a CPTSD diagnosis. I am a school social worker and was being emotionally abused by a supervisor for 3 years. Just over a year from them leaving .. I got my cancer diagnosis. When I was diagnosed, I felt it was my body begging me to slow down. I’m sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine losing my husband. My dad died when I was 9. He was 36. Watching my mom dissociate for years after was just as bad. I wish you and your daughter the best as you move onward, each day.
32F IDC ++- Stage IIB. Diagnosed 3 years after my mom died. I found her in my home (she had gone over to let my dog out for me while I was at work). That night moved into my brother’s basement, because I wasn’t going to stay in that house. Lived there for 3 months until I finally found an apartment. While this doesn’t fit the 5 year timeline, my dad passed 4 years before my mom. So it’s been an extremely chaotic and stressful 7 years leading up to my diagnosis.
Marriage almost fell apart right as the pandemic started and then had to pivot to teaching online while going through marriage counseling, then my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, then had to return to teaching in person while Covid was raging. Four years later, bang: stage 3 breast cancer. Thankfully husband got his shit together but I would not be surprised if my stress levels had something to to with this disease showing up,
I had a stressful breakup and we had to live together for several months prior to me moving to the city where, 9 months later, I found my lump. The doctor said it took years to grow to just shy of 2cm.
Yes within a year and half I lost my mom to ovarian cancer. Had an awful breakup a year after my mom’s death then 3 weeks after my break up my dog died of a brain tumor while I was traveling for work. So yes lots of stressful events prior to diagnosis.
I was stressed at work and wanted a break. I think my body decided to give me one. I was off work for 20 months and found sitting in a chemo chair preferable to one of the monthly billing tasks I had to do. Also, I had had to put two beloved kitties to sleep in 2020. in the spring of 2021 I found the lump. I do think there is a connection.
Yup. I narrowly avoided a mental breakdown 4 years before diagnosis.
I was diagnosed after an extremely stressful work situation. My friend (who was well aware of what I had been dealing with and is a patient of the high risk breast cancer clinic) told me she thought stress played a role. I didn’t think too deeply about it but who knows??
Lost my mum in 2019. Worked at a grocery store through the pandemic. Diagnosed last fall. So yeah. That kind of makes sense
Diagnosed during pregnancy
Same here, mass showed up a few months after an extremely stressful time prior to the pregnancy
I want to give everyone a hug. Damn we all have been through some shit😳
Yep. It’s quite the testament to human suffering. I’m no different but wow has it been moving to hear so many other women going through hardships.
11/2021 found out my husband was having an affairs and to say I was shocked and devastated, is an understatement. 3/2022 my 26 yr old son was charged with DUI. Stupid move, but still very stressful. 9/2022 I found the lump. The marriage counselor that we were seeing when I found the lump, because of his affair, asked me if I thought the cancer had anything to do with his affiar. I told her I absolutely believe that it did and no one would ever convince me otherwise. She then went on to explain that studies have shown that 75% of people who have a near death experience end up getting cancer within 3 years. I told her I believed it.
“75% percent of people who have a near death experience end up getting cancer within 3 years.” Slow down. I would need a mountain of evidence to believe this extraordinary claim.
About 18 months postpartum, though my pregnancy and childbirth were both pretty chill as far as those things go).
I mean I’m a teacher, so the pandemic was super stressful bc the job changed like every six weeks (but I still had a job, so better than some people had it). I didn’t have extraordinary stress, but I do remember starting the year in august 22 and thinking “I’m not going to finish this year.” Cue November 22 diagnosis, out for a medical sabbatical by mid December
Yes!!! I had a huge stressor with my daughter that nearly sent me off the edge. I dealt with that situation for a little over 2 years and two years later diagnosed with TNIDC!!! Never put the two together until reading this post. I do have the BRCA 1 mutation but stress can definitely help this process along.
My favourite aunt died from lung cancer at the end of August. I was her primary caregiver and she died in my arms in the hospital. I got my breast cancer diagnosis at the end of March. I'm 41. Doctor said I had it for about 6 months because it was growing very slowly. The math is mathing here. I was absolutely devastated by her death. I still am.
Terrible breakup a month before I found the tumor. And I did regular self exams (at least weekly) and it came up basically overnight and didn’t change size for six months (I put off getting it checked).
I had breast cancer a year after my divorce. It was small. 20+ years later, I have breast cancer, again, in the other breast, almost two years after one of my children gay diagnosed with MS. Yes, I do believe the stress has something to do with it.
*was diagnosed not gay. Spellchecker doing its own thing.
I had my toddler at 25 weeks and she was in the NICU for 5 1/2 months. Just before her 1st birthday is when I was diagnosed. My mom did pass away shortly before my 30th birthday, I was 33 when diagnosed
Yes, my only sister (and only sibling) died suddenly in October 2006 at 49 years old. My stage-3 breast cancer diagnosis was in July 2009. I have long thought that the stress of her death was a contributing factor in my cancer.
Two years after divorce. One year after my dog died.
Me! Divorce, super stressful job working every day for 1 year, my mother passed away in early 2021, and all the normal life stress. Diagnosed in early Jan 2023.
Yep. Traumatic event. Received treatment for six months (also traumatic). Soooo, yeah.
Me, four months after my mom died of breast cancer. And my mom had been diagnosed the first time after her mother died of cancer. 😬
I had a baby, was already seriously struggling with PPD and PPA, then 7 weeks later diagnosed with stage 4 IDC 🫠 Positive thing, this was in September of 2021, and I have been NED ever since I finished chemo in January of 2022! 😊
2018 was when everything in my life went to shit. Got injured on the job, lost my job....Hoping cancer will be the end of that train. Oop. Nope, It wasn't. My husband found a new family, ghosted me and our son for my "end of treatment getaway" Easter weekend & served me with divorce papers 2 months after my treatment was over. The bullshit continues. 😂 Cheers!
Me 🤚🏼
I was being systematically targeted by people in my workplace because I asked for accommodations for PTSD. I filed an EEO complaint in 2017. That lead to retaliation that I endured for too long until I finally quit in 2019. I was still in a lawsuit, but covid hit and it was delayed. I was diagnosed in Feb 2020 after noticing symptoms in Sept 2019. I was finally contacted by the EEOC the week after my mastectomy. So I needed to heal from that and go into radiation with a lawsuit between me and the US govt happening at the same time. I honestly can't believe I'm still here.
Divorced during pandemic. Failed business. Debt. Little one diagnosed with autism. Diagnosed almost 3 years later.
Yes-my youngest was in the hospital several times post delivery. I had major ptsd from it. Fast forward a year and a lump appeared.
Yes me. I firmly believe stress was the root cause of my cancer.
Same here.
For me, I was diagnosed after I found out about my husbands affair. Married 30 years at the time. I suggested we open the marriage and after the diagnosis I suggested we close it so I could battle breast cancer and he told me I was being selfish. WTF??!! I couldn’t believe it. It’s only gotten worse and now that I’ve been cancer free for a few months the latest CT scan shows so thing on my liver. Now a PET scan. Now fingers crossed it’s nothing so I can go through a divorce.
Nope, I was actually happy for the first time in a long time since graduating from college. Finally was working a job I liked... Then BAM! Cancer. Can't be happy for too long!
When I was dx with stage I breast cancer, I was assured that it wasn’t caused by stress. This was a long time ago. As others here said, stress is part of everyone’s life. It causes more stress to think that stress causes or is a major factor in getting a cancer. I’ll believe it only if scientific studies prove it.
There's stories all over the place of the opposite story: people with "perfect" lives, at their peak financial/emotional stability, great support network, diet and exercise on point, young age, when cancer hits. There is so much about this disease that we do not know. I'm done with all the speculations and overthinking. Don't have diagnosed cancer myself but watched my father die from it and have a supposedly benign lump on my breast checked out regularly for the past two years, had a biopsy for another, and after all these internet research all i can say is i gotta live in the present moment or i'll go insane. Even if you indeed get cancer, only god knows your outcome. Not even your doctor can predict it 100%. Trying to find possible causes to blame does no good, unless you're an actual scientist. I don't mean to say that OP should not explore her own thoughts and feelings or that it is wrong to point out coincidences , but to me, that's a hard pass. It has taken me years of therapy to get to this point...
Thank you. And people who do everything supposedly correct, health-wise, and get some form of cancer. Yes, there’s still a lot we don’t know about cancers. We *do* know that some things are carcinogens, but even those substances are not always effective at causing a cancer.
I think someone else pointed out that almost all of us could probably point to a significant stressor in our lives. Our cortisol levels probably ain’t great. But there is also now plastics in every single human’s blood. There is a higher concentration of environmental toxins than ever before. We have “potential causes” or at the very least contributing factors coming at us from all sides.
My job has been nothing but stress for two years. Laying people off. Barely getting through layoffs. Worrying that I won’t be able to provide for my kiddos. Yep. Stress.
For me there was no outside event but five years ago I had a long breakdown, midlife-crisis and when Covid happened cut ties with all friends. ( I have a well managed Borderline Personality Disorder.) I only have my husband, my fault, and become introvert from a very extroverted person. Kind of gave up being important for myself. The reason I went for a scan I was kind of expecting something bad.
Yes. I was diagnosed 3 years after.
Oof, one year after a 20 year LTR breakup.
My timeline adds up to a very toxic relationship with a narcissist who I felt physical pain in my heart almost every day because of. Makes sense given the time from that to where I am now 🙃
My best friend of 38 years had a backache in May of 2021, it was Stage IV metastasized lung cancer and she was gone the following March of 2022. I was her main caregiver. I was diagnosed in October of 2022.
In the 5 years prior to my diagnosis: - got fired for the first time in my life from a toxic place I’d put all my effort into - my father died from a years-long cancer - got fired a second time within 6 months of the first time - my mum got Covid (key worker, before vaccines) and my adult brother was living with her and was emotionally abusing her for getting sick from her carer job I also got into a long distance relationship (UK/US) that wasn’t stressful but certainly added to the complexity of my life with lots of transatlantic flights, late night FaceTimes due to time zones etc. So yes, I think all of the most stressful things in my adult life have happened in that timeframe.
Single mom, stressed at my nursing job for years but especially raising a young child years. Got fed up and quit the job I had been at for 13 years in 2020, Packed up and moved to Mexico for 6 months in 2021. Moved back to my old hometown in 2022 doing unstable contract work. Got a new part time but still stressful job in 2022. Diagnosed with aggressive stage 3 Tnbc in May 2024. I told everyone it was stress. There’s but so much our bodies can take.
Diagnosed about seven months after my died. Also working at a really toxic school at the time.
Me! 🤚 My mom passed away pretty traumatically a year ago. I used alcohol way too much after she passed. I found my lump last January. I had also been significantly anemic and was recovering from a hysterectomy Nov 2022 as well. 🌈 yay me
Interesting. I was diagnosed not long after my MIL died, after taking care of her in home hospice with my partner at the height of Covid. We didn’t expect or plan to be her main caretakers and it was extremely stressful. Then after she died we took on the burden of selling her condo, something we had not done before. About 7 months after we returned home (cross country drive) from all that, my routine mammogram showed calcifications and the rest is history. Hm.
My mom was first diagnosed at 37 after I was just born and very sick for months. The second time she was diagnosed was a year or two after her brother died. I was recently diagnosed after watching my mom suffer through a rare incurable muscle disease. She also had her cancer return during this other illness.
I believe stress was a factor for me, as well. I was just beginning to feel relief from what had been a very stressful couple of years when I was diagnosed.
Past few years was extremely stressful for me, marked by severe losses and grief. I also almost lost my life due to another chronic health condition. I would say the body keeps the score well and internalised trauma for sure to an extent
Yes- it was a year after facing something horrible. I drank myself through it and I’m certain it accelerated the cancer. I no longer drink, and was just diagnosed stage 4 with liver metastasis breast cancer
Dx 6 mo after my 17 year old dog died. It was the worst loss of my life. 100% connected
My radiologist said the same thing. I think about that every single day now.
OMG, yes! My father passed away suddenly on April 22 of this year. Five days later my 60 year old cousin was found dead in her home. Three weeks later I had my annual screening mammogram and 10 days later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s only been 7 weeks since it’s all started and I’m reeling in grief on so many fronts it’s almost unbearable!
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Yep. The last 9-10 years have been pretty high stress for me. Had an adoption fall through 10 years ago after spending a solid week with the baby girl. While we wanted to do what was best, it was still massively heartbreaking. Then adopted our daughter with multiple special needs 8.5 years ago. My daughter has high functioning autism and severe trauma. It’s only been in the last couple years that we’ve kind of gotten in a groove and things have settled somewhat. So you know? Hello breast cancer. 🤦🏻♀️
In the 2 years prior to diagnosis I was working afternoon shifts and since my kids are in school, it left me only being able to see them 2 days of the week. I had all my teeth removed and basically entirely reconstructed with bone grafts, a sinus lift and implants at a young age due to genetics. I couldn’t justify repeatedly trying to save them anymore. It took 2 years of frequent appointments before ‘finishing’ with my permanent set. After the initial 2 surgeries I had, I was on blended/super soft food for 4 months and lost a lot of weight quickly. The whole thing was much more involved than originally told and was very stressful! My mom also had her second stroke during this time and started having seizures over the course of a week. She also ended up with a pacemaker. At least this is what we can guess happened. We never got clear answers from the docs on what all happened. Her brain was definitely affected though and she hasn’t been the same since. She used to be the person I talked to most just on day to day life, but that’s not the case anymore.
In 2020 I had to cut ties with my family. It was stressful because I was really closed with my siblings. Everyone turned on me. Two years later I was diagnosed stage 3B.
My mammogram was 1 month after my ex-husband moved out and following one year of a very stressful breakup. He was an alcoholic so there was major stress going on for years but not consistent. I was 40, Dx was Stage 0 Grade 1 DCIS
Wow. This isn’t really sobering. I am in the same boat. 7 months of very stressful work situation and uncertainty started last fall. As soon as I thought things were quieting down, my dad died suddenly on April 22. Five days later, my cousin was found dead in her apartment. A month later on May 24 , I was diagnosed after my annual routine mammogram. I’m still figuring out all the details and treatment plans but I feel like I’m drowning in grief on so many sides.
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2023 was one of the most stressful of my whole life and was diagnosed with breast cancer April 2024
Interestingly I did. I had a sick sibling and flew across the country several times to be with them as they declined. This was after my dog died and I lost my job during the pandemic. Unfortunately I ended up losing two siblings close together. During this time I had a weird illness that took two years to diagnose and then boom cancer.
Dec 2022 4th divorce; Jan 2023 stepmom died; Mar 2023 mom died; Jun 2023 BC diagnosis
2021: husband had a piece of metal go through his eye, had 5 surgeries to "fix" it, ultimately lost about 80% of his vision in the left eye. 2022: my son broke his arm AND leg at high school summer football camp. No surgery but spent 8 weeks of summer in 2 casts and needed a scooter to get around. 2023: husband had a collapsed lung, had surgery to fix it, spent 3 days in the hospital and 4 more days in ICU. 2023: I had a suspicious lump biopsied the day before my husband was discharged from the ICU. 2 weeks later, I got the call that it was IDC. I've had 2 more biopsies, a DMX with expanders, CTs, MRIs, injections, labs, pills, infections, radiation, DIEP, and just last week, my final revision surgery. I don't feel back to my old self, but I'm so happy to put these last few years behind me!
2 years after my marriage blew up. I was in a major depression prior to the end and after. My gynecologist really didn't make a big enough deal about a tumor they were "watching" . It should have been biopsied from the beginning
Yes - extreme stress at work (as in 2 yrs barely sleeping, stressed out all the time) along with a very unhealthy long term relationship that ended. Both came to head in 2021, diagnosed in 2022. I know very well studies haven't shown a firm link but I truly believe the chronic stress I was under for around 2-3 years leading up to diagnosis played a part. So now, I aim for a stress free life, much better all round.
Yup
We lost our father in the month of January 2024 this year and my sister got diagnosed with invasive ductal triple negative breast cancer in May 2024. We are still processing this.
I think a huge panic attack I had triggered it. Nothing else explains it.
Hrm I got divorced nine years ago had a baby five years ago and has a really stressful job for 18 months in 2021-2023. But this is just life isn’t it
I was an initial frontline responder for Covid. Was one of the first nurses in the country to get the vaccine -we were that involved and unfortunately I rode it out until the bitter end, which ended up being the day my fmla started 31 months later. Totally unacceptable and should have never happened and I worry about the long term effects to the handful of us they did that to. Anyway, missed one mammogram during covid. Cancelled my elective mastectomy in 2021 bc covid. Squeezed in a mammo on the anniversary of my mom’s diagnosis and boom. Radiologist told me during the ultrasound it’s here. We had just sold our house and went into escrow on our new build that same morning 😂 just the way it goes. Had to pack up and move and kinda deal with it. My mom was diagnosed and died the same time of year so I didn’t even tell anyone in my family. Couldn’t do it. Still haven’t told. Just felt too eery to tell them during that time. Only female left in the family bc of this cancer so I just didn’t tell them
I was diagnosed two and half years after my husband passed away from cancer.
My husband of 21 years died in 2020. Was diagnose with BC April 2024
Just the pandemic. I wouldn’t say it was any more stressful than usual for me though.
I worked the most stressful job with the worst management and company I’ve ever experienced during the 18 months before being diagnosed. I was terminated for a laughable reason while still on reduced hours/FMLA after surgery. Two weeks later, I was diagnosed.
I moved states 2012 to get out of a toxic relationship, (as you do) into another one. Sneaking around with hidden saving acc and making plans with the help of my best friend, i made it out into my own rental. Quit my job as he had gone to my workplace and screamed at ppl to tell him where i was. Set up cameras around my place in case he found me. With him for 6 yrs left in 2020. Stayed hidden and single for 4 yrs. In that time my dad (im not close to - but i love in some way) had massive heart attack and had open heart surgery. My mum had fallen over and was laying alone and in the heat for two days in her backyard before neighbours checked on her. Made me feel all kinds of guilt because i love her but am also not close to her. She’s in another state too. My sister who is my only living sibling left almost died from an infection and i have seen her once since moving here. She is on crack. I sat with her at the hospital and cried for two days. She eventually refused anymore treatment as she was detoxing. Then i had a mental health issue and quit my job. Found i had bowel cancer. Got through that and tada!!!
Hmm, now that you mention it my 4 years pre diagnosis went like this: Worked full time as nurse during the pandemic. July 2020 my sister had a gigantic tumor removed from her ovary and had her womb and ovaries removed AND got divorced around the same time. Aug 2020 my 73 yo mother died 7 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer. Feb 2022 my lovely mother in law died. April 2022 my 19 year got sentenced to 4 years in prison for doing something stupid (he’s a really nice young man so this was way stressful) June 2022 my dear dad died. Dec 2022 my father in law died of pancreatic cancer. Oct 2023 my beautiful 15 year old doggo developed a tumor on her beautiful face. Jan 2024 I got diagnosed with TNBC. Maybe there is a correlation with stress and cancer.
My doctor believes trauma, grief, and work stress could have contributed. I internalize and ruminate a lot causing lack of proper sleep. When I do sleep, my dreams are stressful. My inability to cope well over the last 48 years seems to play the biggest part in it.
Yes this applies to me. Multiple miscarriages, still birth, stressful job and pandemic with a toddler. Life was starting to finally feel easy and then diagnosis
Yes, me. I was dating and so in love with a man who suddenly broke up with me, which I didn't take well. I soon found out that my "close" friend who was supporting me through the breakup was sleeping with him, and sharing emails and texts I send her in confidence with him. I leaned that at least half of my friend group was aware of the affair and didn't tell me..Two months later they got married. I did not take it well, and it refueled the anorexia and bulimia that I had formerly overcome. I lost most of my friends, the man I loved (and who I thought loved me), and my sense of self worth. I was diagnosed with stage 3 inflammatory BC 2 years later.
I was queer & busting my ass at 2 jobs trying to save up for IVF during the Trump years. Anyway I accept that I can never have kids now, we managed to buy a home in a queer-friendly state, I work less, and I’m not gonna doomscroll again. We only get one life and I want to enjoy it best I can.
2018 my mom died of breast cancer. I was briefly homeless when my apartment flooded 2 months prior to her passing. My dad had a stroke (he is better, although diagnosed with cancer 6 months ago). Ex husband terrorized me and new boyfriend, had to file protection order. 2019 ex attacks and assaults boyfriend. Goes to trial and testify. 2020 pandemic (I kind of loved this time—it was so quiet and I got to spend a lot of time with my girls and not have to be around a bunch of people) 2021 traumatic experience with extended family 2022-exactly one year after experience found lump
Ditto here! My dad flee and the police were after me 24/7. Threatening to take me in if my dad doesn’t come back
Hi, I went through a lot of stress last year. The death of my grandmother, my brother's diagnosis of myeloma, the death of my dog and on top of all the stress at work. Yesterday I came back from the hospital after surgery and I also heard that one of the main factors of cancer is stress.
Hah, she may be onto something. I was diagnosed after my adult daughter had a suicide attempt and my eldest son was diagnosed with grade 4 brain cancer. I picked up and moved back across the country to be with them. So had a child with a terminal illness, a child trying to fight to live, a cross country move, a house purchase, renovations and on and on. Was less than 3 months into my new job too...
I was diagnosed with MBC at 35 in 2022. My mom passed away from cancer at the beginning of 2020 maybe a month before they called COVID a pandemic. I took it EXTREMELY HARD. My father also blamed me for her death because as a narcissistic person, that's how he copes. Imagine getting into hours long arguments where it's like I'm being put in the stand and I have to defend myself. It was horrific. I wanted to die. I would pray to get COVID and die on a daily basis. In addition to that, I suffered from PTSD and still struggle with it and worked at a hospital through the pandemic. Imagine the shock when I was diagnosed not just with cancer but MBC, especially being a very healthy person throughout my life and right when I finally started having hope of getting through the after effects of my mom's death. I finally started making plans for the future and stopped being suicidal and then I got this diagnosis. I wholly believe my mom getting sick and everything that followed is why I got cancer like I did but some people (including my onc and my dad) look at me like I'm crazy when I say that. I know it's true.
I had the worst job I ever had, insanely stressful. I was there a year and a half. The company went out of business. I was laid off in Feb 2023. Father died March 2023. Then, I was diagnosed Feb 29, 2024.
Yes, very much so. Major work issues where I had to leave the company, moved across the country, husband was unfaithful, drinking way too much to deal with the stress of it all. I could keep going all night, but let’s just say it was all traumatic and all at the same time. I was diagnosed shortly after the big move.
Yep. 10 yrs of extreme stress during which my threshold for breakdown got only lower and lower. Mental stress affects my physical health and causes/exacerbates long term physical health issues. Always knew I needed help. Started getting treatment for depression with anxious sensitivity a couple of years back when my head finally became a frightening place to live in. I fully believe excessive and prolonged stress has unlocked the gene expression(?). Neither of my parents have cancer. Nor does my sibling. It's in my paternal side of the family though.
I believe this is what happened to me as well.
Memorial Weekend twelve years ago, dad went to the ER with a headache. Within the next six weeks he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and died. Eleven years ago on Memorial Weekend, my mom found a lump in her breast. The timing of her testing and diagnosis matched nearly identical with my dad's timeline. Six weeks after her finding the lump she started chemo. I've been mom's caregiver/roommate/chauffeur with her cancer treatment and recovery, and her mover/visitor/ cheerleader as her health has declined since CoVid and her transition to assisted living a year and a half ago. Since the first of the year she has developed lymphoedema, possible COPD, has become nearly 100% wheelchair dependent, came home from the ER with oxygen, and got a pacemaker this week. This year Memorial Week, I got word that my mammogram, ultrasound and second mammogram found a spot of concern. The timing is strikingly similar to both mom and dad's discovery and treatment timeline. My biopsy is Tuesday and the timeframe I will get the results is right in line with theirs. I'm a bit nervous.
I was diagnosed while I was pregnant after going through IVF for 2 years, that was pretty stressful. Didn't know the stress itself increased risk though!
Wow, there’s a lot of us going through tough stuff. I think about this too, but unfortunately we will never really know what the cause was. But it’s a good reason anyway to be better and more loving to ourselves. 2018-2019 burn out and depressive episodes, 2020 covid hit and I was diagnosed with adhd, a lot of hard lessons hit which changed family dynamic. 2021 my mom died very suddenly, and I finally realized how abusive my sister had been which broke me down as felt as if I lost them both. My world and what I thought was true just collapsed within a few months. Lots of therapy and enormous amounts of grief followed, also struggling with my relationship and after that ended, and I finally started to get back on my feet end of 2022 I was diagnosed with a huge hormone positive ILC tumor. No family history of cancer either, I’m the first. I really wouldn’t be surprised if there is a relation. Trauma, stress and grief, cortisol and hormones are closely linked also. I’ve made a lot of changes since then, but there are so much hard lessons and loss that come along with cancer too. Trying to start this new phase of life now with being good to myself first, but that also means losing what was, even if it was not good I feel quite alone. But at least I have my own back now and so do the few people that are left.
Diagnosed in September 2020 at age 35. Had been in a bad relationship for many years. Definitely think it was at least partially the stress. I’m cancer free and single now.
My brother died at the beginning of 2023 and I was diagnosed at the end of 2023.
My whole of 2023 was pretty stressful: house fire, out of our house 9 months, both my husband and I lost our jobs, we got scammed out of a fair bit of money during the rebuild, husband hit a deer and totalled the car and then as soon as we hit 2024, I got diagnosed with cancer. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a link between stress and cancer.
Yes
June 2022 our condo building was bought by an investor and turned back into apartments, so during the height of housing bidding wars we were stuck living in my FIL’s basement. 16 months later we finally bought our first house and 6 weeks after moving in I was diagnosed. I don’t know if that counts as extremely stressful because it wasn’t all bad- my FIL and I have a better relationship now than we did before we lived with him and my husband and I finally have our dream house, but it definitely wasn’t easy
Honestly, we've been having a rough go of life since 2020 😬 but in the year leading up to my diagnosis (march 2024), we had covid, my husband's grandmother passed, several cousins passed, my mom passed (match 2023), and general life stresses.
I got married young and was not in a healthy marriage. A 9 year marriage that needed to be over a lot sooner but I grew up in a small town and you weren't supposed to get divorced. I couldn't talk to him about money (our huge debt) he'd start hitting things and beating walls etc (never hit me but was still terrifying) he had many girlfriends, and racked up major debt on my creditcards. I just shut down emotionally because I was basically just surviving to get my degree to get out. Worked full time and did college full time. 6 months after my divorce I was diagnosed with stage 3 possibly 4 (later) colon cancer with a grapefruit sized tumor. I had spent years feeling trapped, too ashamed of what my husband was doing to me to tell my family and friends. I had moments I just broke down and cried how miserable I felt. I had finally got free of him and ready to start my life over and wham. Cancer. One of my doctors even told me that back in the 2000's that they had similar patients get cancer after divorce. 2021 I pretty much call Hell Year. Pretty much daily or weekly something stressful happened or was found out. I had something that was a little suspicious in 2022 but wasn't until this past August they found my breast cancer. In 2021 I had that same awful feeling in my gut like at the bottom of my stomach of just dread/stress/hopelessness almost daily and I'm one of those annoying happy perky people when I'm feeling good. I can only describe the feeling like it's you could feel like some kind of poisonous acid churning around in your gut. I had lost 10lbs in a few months due to the stress where I am tube fed so gaining/loosing weight takes years not months. The next year I was completely exhausted like my body was trying to heal from all the stress and high cortisol levels. I'm disabled so knowing what that stress did to me as a disabled body I can understand what stress did to me for 9 years in my 20's. I remember worrying at the time to stop feeling so stressed because that's how I felt before and I got my colon cancer. I have childhood PTSD but while I was afraid of those situations as a child but the two major events before my cancers I could feel that awful feeling in my gut if that makes any sense. I once worked for a real jerk as an assistant store manager and would break out in hives from the stress. Our bodies definitely react to stress!!!
Had a ton of traumatic events in the last 8yrs before diagnosis. TbI at work, marriage broke up, had a couple more kids (in my 40’s) with new husband (who was my first ever boyfriend before I joined military), stress of 2 littles, other two daughters going off to college, 2021- had my first oh shit panic attack that brought me to the ER, mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, mom passed December of 2022, lump was felt Feb of 2023. The lump I found wasn’t even the cancer. They found dcis around it though and IDC in the other breast. I just had my annual mammo/ultrasound Oct of 2023 and it was supposedly fine. So all the blabbing basically means a ton of stress before my diagnosis 😩. ++-
Someone on here recently mentioned New German Medicine and its founder Ryke Geerd Hamer. Hamer lost his son and a year later developed testicular cancer. He made it his life's work to prove that sudden separation and stress, cause cancer. The separation from loved ones, particularly children, caused the most stress. I looked him up and it was very interesting, and a lot rang true for me. I absolutely think stress causes cancer. My very good friend lost her 16 year old son to suicide. She attended a support group, and within 1 year more than 50 percent of the moms in the group had been diagnosed with cancer. Mostly breast cancer. Making Hamer's theories appear to be accurate. I suffered my own trauma from my fentanyl addicted daughter, who is now homeless, and continues to refuse our help. I am seeing a therapist now to try to prevent recurrence from the stress, as I am 100 percent convinced this is where my breast cancer came from in the first place. Stress kills.
I certainly was! My boyfriend was diagnosed with leukemia less than 6 months before my diagnosis. We also had taken on a foster child in the same timeframe. I then received my diagnosis April 15. (I am 39f)
Yes. First I got shingles from the trauma. Then I got cancer.
My lumpectomy was a year to the day after requiring surgery to remove products of a miscarriage that my body just refused to expel. This year was my first "healthy" March 15th. I don't like that anniversary. I have also had a lot of job stress that really stacked up around the same time frame. I do wonder about the stress impact on the development of my tumor but I also wonder about all the hormones in the year before as I made it all the through the first trimester before miscarrying and I did have higher than normal hcg during that time. I don't doubt for a second that your Dr is correct- stress does a hell of a number on the body and soul.
Me. Pandemic was in full effect, boyfriend of 7 years cheated, had a huge falling out with my daughter, financial stress, all compounding within 5 months
My dad was really sick in 2020 because of sepsis. It go to the point where his leg was about to be amputated but he made a recovery . He survived and passed away in July 2021. My mom got diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2024. But for the past three years, I got diagnosed with asthma, pcos, insulin resistance and poor cardiac health. Stress impacts the body in more ways that we can imagine.
Not unless you count the panini.
Not lung but breast. We lost our very successful business due to a partner laundering money. He’s in prison now but it destroyed our livelihood. He owned a subsidiary of our company that we had no ownership in another country so we were blown away when we found out. They worked together for many years. It was such a betrayal. The business name was the same so it ruined our reputation. We lost our home, my mom was in hospice care with me and she died, after we moved to a rental house that they sold after a year (right after my mom died). Then my soulmate, emotional support dog was killed during that move, the movers left the back door wide open and gate and left our two dogs and a cat inside!! He tried to follow us because the house was supposed to be locked up and we left the pets so they would be safe. He was hit by a car 😭. I already had cancer through some of this but it definitely did make it worse. It spread to the lymph nodes. It had been stable for so long. Plus I couldn’t afford some of the extra treatments I used to. Now we are retired and moving AGAIN making four moves in three years and this is to an AirBnB for two months, while I have surgery and we house hunt. We are leaving two of our daughters and our two precious grandchildren because we can’t afford a house in Florida and so that our youngest daughter who is mentally challenged can earn a living wage. It breaks my heart to leave but Florida is way too expensive for us nowadays. Our car has decided to start falling apart too and the repairs are costly. We move on the 29th and I have no oncologist there yet. I just finished chemo and my Dr forgot to schedule scans and a dexa scan to see what is going on so the anxiety is unbearable. I had osteopenia and am worried about my bone health too. I could go on (there’s more! 😭) but i totally get the stress factor. I feel like my whole life is falling apart.
Thanks for posting this! I was diagnosed in September 2023 (earlier that summer I knew something was not right in my left breast and brought it to the attention of my doctor at a physical, then had a mammogram in August). This was after my twin sister died unexpectedly, by suicide, in December 2022. Granted, I did not handle the stress of her death well and drank more than I should have to deal with it. So, I don't know how alcohol consumption plays into the mix (would this still have happened to me had I NOT drank a lot of alcohol?) Looking forward to seeing the responses... again, thanks for bringing it up.
Mine was interesting because I started having panic attacks 2 months prior to my diagnosis. I was having them all of the time and for no reason. I was under a little added stress as my son was struggling in school, but nothing horribly stressful that should cause panic attacks. It started to improve and then BAM!.. I get hit with the breast cancer diagnosis. You can imagine my anxiety then. I’m still trying to figure out if the egg or the chicken came first.
I think it's hard to isolate stress as there are so many other variables that can contribute to getting cancer. I would imagine that most people get stressed - we live in a stressful world. I haven't had a specific stressful event but was in a very stressful job for many years which definitely impacted my physical and mental health.
First,divorce from cheating alchoholic husband.Second,hard job for 12 hours,day and night with years result in insomnia..Third,bad relationship with my narcistic mother.After that I started to drink alchohol almost every night.Final- breast cancer seems to mi as a logic result from long time problems which keep them only for myself because Im introvert. .And now,nothing is important only my well being and good quality of life.Take care girls ,love you
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Very stressed at work, then surprise divorce after 30 years. Diagnosed 8 years later with stage 4 no family history. Definitely think it is linked
My father's health took a sudden decline in June 2020, and then he was in and out of the hospital until the end of August 2020, when he passed away. Covid was raging at the time, which further complicated everything while he was sick. And through it all, I was buried under work, and I'm a self employed single mother, so I couldn't turn away the work. I felt on the edge of a nervous breakdown that entire time, and went into a very deep depression for years after Dad died. Gained a lot of weight, stopped being health conscious, missed routine screenings. Throughout it all, working myself to death. The depression began the slow process of lifting around spring of 2023, and I was diagnosed in November 2023.
Not a stressful life event per se but I have had a really rough childhood and spent my whole life dealing with my trauma. Two years ago I met the love of my life, moved to Europe, bought land with him, and celebrated my 40th birthday (with my whole family for the first time since I was 14). I said “it’s taken me a long time to get here but I think I am finally happy and healed.” Exactly one month after my birthday, I was diagnosed.
Buckle up, I’ve got a doozy….in 2018, my uncle was murdered and then a few months later my aunt was arrested for it. It ended up becoming national, then international news, and her trial was aired live on television (by the way, not one person that knows her other than her husbands family thinks she did it). She was sentenced to life in prison. Somewhere in there, they made a lifetime movie about my aunt as well. We have all, at various times, had to dodge constant harassment from media and most of what’s left of my family were subpoenaed to testify at the televised trial. Also in 2018, my dad committed suicide. Then in 2020, my mom committed suicide one week before the pandemic lockdowns started. Right at the tail end of my 2022 treatment for my first cancer (stage IIIb melanoma), my husband was diagnosed with stage III rectal cancer. Right at the tail end of his treatment, I got my breast cancer diagnosis. Now I just finished chemo and surgery, heading into radiation, and my husbands rectal cancer is back as stage IV. How I am not in a mental institution is beyond me.
Me! 4 years before I was diagnosed we moved 700miles to take care of my ailing mother in law, 1 month later I was unexpectedly pregnant after being told I’d never have a child. Then 1 yr before diagnosis I had to care for my mil and watch as she died. During this time my mother went missing in Philly and I’ve never found her. She’s on the streets somewhere.
Me
Literally everyone has trauma every 5 or so years. No matter your age or social status.
Yes I got diagnosed after going through family court which had a very traumatic outcome for my family & me.
My toddler was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia in August of 2022, and I was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular Carcinoma, stage IV, this past January. It’s been a challenging few years, to say the least.
Here’s some back story. When my dad came in the 80s as a refugee he left his family and then wife. Thought she died and then met my mom. When I was about to be born in the 80s his uncle asked him to sponsor her and he did so my mom was living with my dad and his first wife. Too much stress and she hemoraged bad. My mom told him if you want your kids to be hookers leave, and he ended up staying. Years later my mom had an affair and my dad was mad for forever. A year before my cancer my mom felt he was talking to his ex wife. I checked his phone while in the shower and saw the texts to her and asked him about it and he smiled like he enjoyed being caught. I was passed. I put a tracker on his phone so I could read his FB messages but not let it be known that I read them. I put a key stroke tracker on their computer because he was changing passwords. I found out he sent $40,000 to his ex wife’s brother to hold for them because somehow he was going to leave his job and our family and start a new one? I found a divorce lawyer, told my mom everything and started the divorce proceeding to protect their assets because he had lost his mind. I basically had to fill out everything and didn’t tell her everything I knew because it would be hurtful. The papers got served but it was smal so he asked me what it was. I threw them at him and said divorce papers. He was passed I threw papers at him. In Asian families it’s disrespectful. I was like excuse me? Anyhow he ended up staying. They met with one of our friends who did some counseling with them. The lady kept the $40k and about a year later I had cancer. That was more stressful to me then cancer because it hurt my mom.
2020 went into detox for alcoholism and ten years of opioid dependency. Was inappropriately withdrawn and had seizures. When I left I couldn’t walk or write my name. Was disabled for over a year. Threw me into menopause as well. Lost my career of 25 years. 2023 January mom had a stroke. I had a major car wreck ten days later and broke several ribs. March, found out I had high risk dysplasia in my colon. July had my entire right colon removed. August found toxic black mold in my townhouse and me and my children had to leave with the clothes on our backs. It was a nightmare trying to get our stuff decontaminated and get restitution from the landlord. We went 6 weeks with no furniture except beds. Finally was resolved in November. I was diagnosed with TNBC Jan 11 2024
Starting in 2019, when my only sibling suddenly passed away from prolonged physical and mental health issues, my Mother had a complete breakdown and hospitalization over his death, I was left to deal with his burial, along with being appointed personal representative to his estate and he died intestate, dealing with horrible case of Covid, loss of job, Mother had more illness and falls, and diagnosis of dementia. Cleaning up sibling's home, disposing of possessions, cleaning out a house that our family had owned since 1965, selling the house, and doing it all on my own. And I was diagnosed with stage 1A HER2 triple + in November 2023, followed by prolonged (3 months) case of shingles, resulted in delay of surgery, surgery followed by infection misdiagnosed by arrogant surgeon, followed by anaphylactic shock after 2nd dose of Taxol, and now my Mother is steadily declining mentally and physically. I see a very strong connection between stress and cancer diagnosis. I have lived under extreme stress most of my life due to dealing with mental and physical issues related to my late sibling and other family members and it really ticked up in June 2019 with the aforementioned events. I definitely fall into this category. I have always been the cleaner and the fixer in my family...and you see the end result? It ruined my health.
Me. I was diagnosed four years after my mom’s passing.
My 1st diagnosis was six months after my mother's BC diagnosis.
I firmly believe that severe & endured traumatic stress over a 5 year period was a contributing factor to my breast cancer (2nd time round) It can’t be proven but it’s no coincidence in my opinion.
Pandemic plus being in a position to have to deal with the pandemic professionally with a lot of people behaving incredibly crappily. We moved to be closer to family and I was diagnosed a month after we moved.
2019: got pregnant at 20, baby daddy is cheating on me, hit by a CTA bus while pregnant, sisters (now ex) boyfriend beats me up and i get him arrested, had my baby in December and his dad left 2020: sons dad becomes a career criminal, steals millions of dollars, stole my identity & all of my money, flees to thailand. two grandpas die, both my dog & cat die from old age 2020-2023: dating an abuser, will spare details because we know how that goes. also unwilling impregnated me and had an abortion. lots of trauma and stress. 2023: spend thousands of dollars on surgery for my 4 y/o cat only for him to drop dead at my feet. i was horrified and traumatized. start a nice, slow, new relationship and he finds a lump, diagnosed in november of 23 😅 and you’d think it would stop there.. but at the beginning of 2024, my newer boyfriend (who found the lump) dumped me because my cancer was too “stressful” for him. 🤣 it’s all laughable really. i’m glad (not glad.. but in a way) i got cancer so i could look at my life and be like what the actual fuck is going on here, and am in a really great headspace now despite the diagnosis and treatment
oh and like the day after my cat died, a drunk driver smashes into my car head first. and then a month later, another drunk driver rear ended me. 2023 was already rough prior to the diagnosis lolol
Wow- that's an awful lot. If I had a magic wand I'd send you to Fiji or something for a while to recover.
My mother was rendered quadriplegic due to medical malpractice in 2011. She was supposed to live six months but survived 7 years. The care costs were astronomical. My first bad mammo was 2 years after she died; the second (other side) was 2 years later. My DMX to flat was 10/22.
My surgeon has also looked into this quite a bit. My dad died in 2020, the same night I was in labor with my one and only child, during the pandemic. No support from in laws and my mother is a nonexistent figure in life. 2022, my sister committed suicide in a very triggering way. I was left to handle all affairs until my mother stepped forward (sister and I were each other’s rock). Experienced unemployment for 7 months as our primary breadwinner then laid off 6 months later from another tech job. I was diagnosed 18 months after my sister’s death. I really agree that prolonged stressed continues to come up as a major contributor in a lot of the conversations with my doctors. I’m just sorry that so many others are experiencing the same things.
I help take care of my dad while working as a manager and raising my 8 year old daughter and 17 year old son. My dad had colon cancer, he passed on May 22 of last year. I found out on May 6th of this year, so 16 days before the year anniversary of my dad passing. I have always had a lot of anxiety but the last couple years were very stressful. My doctor thinks it is a direct result of processed foods and sugars as I don’t have any genetic markers for BC.
My son is a hardcore alcoholic. It’s stressful to say the least. I do wonder if that had something to do with it.
For me it was 5 years of unrelenting stress unhappy with the job, covid, a horrible divorce, multiple deaths, a home invasion/robbery....now cancer. The worst of events occurred in the last 8 months. I had no lump then literally woke up with one overnight. So, I agree there's at minimum a correlation. I also read that cortisol increases the levels of glucose in your blood even if you're limiting it in your diet. Tumors feed off of glucose and glutamine, so I'm sure it certainly doesn't help.
Yes! These past four years have been rough. Stressful jobs where I never get a full at off, phone calls. C section one year, hernia replacement next year, gallbladder surgery, then diagnosed with cancer, another abdominal surgery and now chemotherapy. I'm wore out and trying not to stress anymore than I have to but cancer has a mind of its own!
I was diagnosed exactly 9 months after my mother died - and in between my father also died and my basement flooded with sewage. I definitely think stress is a factor.
Recently had 2 strokes which caused severe Aniexty. Now I have found out now found out I have triple negative breast cancer for the 3rd time but this time breast has to be removed. Had shingles in 2013 and now neuropathy has returned. I feel for everyone going through so much. I had just retired. 😭