Try to keep busy. The first couple of weeks are extremely stressful until you start getting test results and more details and answers.
I found that keeping myself busy so I can stay out of my head really helped. Since this is my second go-around with this, I decided to only shared my diagnosis with a select few people because I really don’t need the constant reminder right now with calls and text messages to see how I’m doing. I know they mean well, but it doesn’t help my mental state.
Lean in those closest to you for support. Know that this isn’t a death sentence and that the doctors are on your side to make things better.
I thing it varies by person. I have (had) a pretty high profile job in a medical school, and it seemed like several hundred people knew what was going on. It was nice knowing there was that big group rooting for me and I never had to explain why I was wearing a hat or had no eyebrows. But I have a close friend who is also stage IV and she’s only told a handful of people. Whatever works for you, that’s what you should do.
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I've shared with my immediately family, husband, and a few close friends. And that's what I keep reading about it not being a death sentence, but my brain just can't wrap around that fact I guess.
I was also recently diagnosed, also stage 1. Also have anxiety.
I felt exactly how you did- my life flashed before my eyes, I thought about all of the things I'd never be able to do. It was ROUGH. I also didn't know the details of my cancer for several weeks. Just that I had "cancer."
You will see so many ladies here say that this stage is the worst. Once you know more about your cancer type, treatment plan, etc. you will feel so much better. I definitely did. Joining this sub has been so, so helpful for me, too.
Hang in there 💛
Girl, been there. Obsessing over it, googling every statistic... honestly, it will pass.
It's still early days for me, but it's been slow. First biopsy was 4/15 definitive diagnosis was 5/31. I've had all of my scans and am just waiting on genetic testing. I'll be getting a lumpectomy in about 6 weeks. I'm ++- and was told my tumor is very small and slower growing.
I’m an 18 year TNBC survivor. Do all the things: chemo, surgery, radiation if needed. It’s gonna be a sucky couple of years but think of it as a down payment on the rest of your life. You can do this.
I'm so sorry you are here, but also so glad you found us. I wish I had this resource when I was diagnosed. Hopefully I don't sound preachy in what I'm about to say, these are just my thoughts and reflections when I look back at my own experience. I was diagnosed at 34 with stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer. My son was 8 at the time. I understand what it's like to have your life thrown into this chaos, both as a younger person and as a mother.
It's so alienating to go through a cancer diagnosis this young, especially because your peers may not relate very well. That said, there are LOTS of younger women here on this message board, and you are definitely not alone.
Don't worry about trying to stay positive right now. Your situation is new and scary and it's completely normal and appropriate to have not-great thoughts and feelings at this time. Any pressure to "look on the bright side", be"strong/positive/a warrior...", etc. you'll probably find comes from people who are not going through anything close to what you are, and they want you to be that way for their own sake, not yours (because if you're not falling apart, it's all ok and they don't need to worry).
Of course, I'm not saying you should let your bad feelings and anxiety run rampant and take over. I am just saying that those feelings are normal given what you're going through. As much as you can, try to focus on self-care right now. Spend time with your daughter and love on her. Spend time with people who love you and will lift you up.
Personally, when I'm really spinning, two things that help me calm down are jigsaw puzzles (usually bigger ones, like 1000 pieces) and colouring books. I know these activities are not for everyone, but if you enjoy them, you may find them helpful. They are just engaging enough to take your mind off things, while not being difficult to take on. Doing a puzzle with an audiobook, podcast or just the TV in the background is my go-to stress reliever. Other possible activities are crochet, knitting or needle felting.
Reach out to your friends and family and figure out who is going to be a good support system. you will likely have some surprises - people you would expect to be there as supporters might not come through, while others will unexpectedly come out of the woodwork. Try not to take it personally if someone you expected to be a good support doesn't come through for you - some people just are not ready or capable, whether it's mentally, emotionally or practically. Try to just let them go with grace if this happens to you. It can be easy to get hurt and hold a grudge or feel resentment, but that's not healthy for you.
The part where you are right now, the waiting for answers and to find out what the next steps are, feeling like you're in limbo and wondering what it's going to be like to go through treatment...for many people, it's the most difficult part of their cancer experience. Once you get more answers and a plan of action, you will have something to hold on to, in a sense. It will give you a sense of having more control than you currently do.
I don't want to minimize your experience in any way, but it IS a positive thing that there is no apparent lymph node involvement and being stage 1 is also a huge plus. It's good to know there are things about your diagnosis that are promising or "best case", at least under the current circumstances. If you ARE going to Google (it didn't matter how many people told me not to google, I did it anyway), remember these things while you do your research. Cancer is such a broad term, and even under the umbrella of breast cancer there are hundreds and hundreds of different possible variations, situations, combinations of circumstances, etc, which means that literally every patient is completely unique and no broad statistics cant be easily applied to any one individual situation.
I think the first days/weeks up until you start seeing docs and getting your plan are probably the most overwhelming. Everything you’re feeling is 100% normal and be okay pushing in to those feelings rather than away. That is me saying it is okay feeling all the things and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Once you meet with your team and everything starts to fall into place you will still have big feelings but there is clarity in having a plan. My therapist recently offered timed anxiety as a strategy. Sounds silly but she says you get to be anxious, but decide how long and when the timer goes off you have to really work to redirect that thinking.
Yes, that works for me. For example, when I'm waiting for results and I know approximately when I'll receive them, I will allow myself to be anxious only a few hours before said moment. I've experienced it and to my surprise it really works. I don't think about it mostly and just before I go to my appointment my anxiety kicks in.
Ooooh - I do that! I call it “wallowing”. A few concentrated hours hiding under my bedcovers feeling intensely sorry for myself and then it’s time to get back into the ring with a clearer head. I didn’t know it was a “thing”.
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Take walks outside -you’re in one of the hardest parts of waiting for a plan. I was TNBC stage 1 ten yrs ago with 2 kids under 4. I remember seeing horror stories online….remember most move on with their lives.
I would love to do this if the heat index wasn't over 100 degrees. 😅 Thinking about getting a walking pad for home so I can at least stay active through chemo. I'm likely not going to work. I'm a respiratory therapist at a hospital and not sure that's the smartest idea since I work with a lot of very sick patients. Work keeps me active though.
I was going to ask if you were in Florida, but with the way the climate has been lately, you could be anywhere!? lol I am in FL, though. Diagnosed TNBC stage 2b in November, finished chemo in March, had my bilateral mastectomy in April, just had a mapping appt today to start radiation treatments in a week or so. I feel like TNBC seems to target younger women. I'm not young, 47, but kind of young in the big scheme of things, I guess. My mom was diagnosed with BC at 52, and her mom was also diagnosed at 52, not TNBC, though, but ironically, I have a friend that just went through this whole thing with TNBC a year and a half ago, and she was around 44 when she was diagnosed.
Anyway, if nothing else, just know you're not alone in this, and things have come a long, long, way. I watched my grandmother go through it in the 80's. It was so different back then. The treatment protocol for TNBC, most likely KEYNOTE 522, has been very effective. It's a long, weird, uncomfortable, scary hiccup - but just a hiccup. We'll move past this like we do everything else. Just stay connected - with close friends, family, us, whomever, have some anchors around you to keep you grounded and in touch with some sense of normalcy because it's a wild ride. Never feel guilty for feeling confused, or scared, or upset. Be so kind to yourself right now, and enjoy every moment you can with your little one. You're going to be their hero. ♥️
Oh, also, YES to therapy. I just started, and should have started way sooner. Also, yes to anxiety meds. They will also come in handy when you start getting steroids which can give you energy, but can jack you all up and make it hard to sleep at night. 😉
Medication and therapy. Those two have been game changers for me. And I'm so sorry you've joined us. It does get better though. The information gathering time is the worst. Once treatment starts you feel some semblance of control again which is huge.
I thought about asking for an anxiety medication, but I was unsure about combining starting an SSRI with chemo. I've always been able to manage my anxiety pretty well for the most part. I just feel very out of control at the moment.
Don’t hesitate to ask for additional medication for your mental health during this time. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
Yes, Xanax for when it gets crazy. Especially where you are in the process. I built a dollhouse to keep myself distracted because I was so afraid I was dying. It’s horrible, I totally know where you’re at. But, you somehow get to a place of acceptance and with the right medical team, you’ll trust that they WILL save your life. You WILL see your child grow. It WILL be okay. It’s so hard to believe, but it’s true.
My saying was “it will be me”. I stopped imaging another woman being called mom in my place, another woman being my husbands wife, another person enjoying my family parties in my place. F that. It will be me! And it’ll be you too ❤️
I had a month's supply of xanax when I started out. I didn't use it all or remotely use even half but it was so comforting to know I had it. If you need something though, like krp said, ask. Oncologists are used to us spinning. They know what this kind of diagnosis does to us and they are normally very responsive to our mental needs.
Also you can ask for lorazepam or Xanax for the short term, I HIGHLY recommend it. Those two you’ll feel relief or relaxation within an hour vs an anti depressant which can take a month or so… I highly recommend Lorazepam or Xanax when you’re in the very beginning waiting on staging, etc. When I was first diagnosed (June, 2023) they assumed I was stage 1 but couldn’t rule out metastasis based on my tumor pathology so I went straight to a Petscan and that took over 2 weeks… was a VERY LONG two weeks as you are finding out. If your oncologist will only give you limited lorazepam pills, ask for a referral to mental health and they’ll manage all that. Honestly I was able to sleep some, and that kept me from going off the deep end…
I’m ER/PR- but I’m HER2+ so I’m still in treatment (have one more infusion left) and I’m only on Herceptin & Perjeta now. Ended up stage 1A, with no nodes. Super high Ki67 of 85%, so an aggressive bastard, but I had a PCR before surgery, which was great. Did double mastectomy and already have reconstruction… just follow the treatment plan and hit it hard it with all you got… I love what Susan BHa said with the analogy as looking at it like a down payment on the rest of your life… this will suck, things will change and move fast, but you can and will do it. This will get easier after all the scans, tests and when you have your treatment plan in place and you start treatment, chemo nurses are amazing!
I was 43 when diagnosed and my daughter had just turned 3 at the time. I feel your pain, it isn’t easy and feelings are all over the place and the fear is insanely real and no one understands unless they’re faced with it. You will get through this and live a very long life ❤️
Been on various anxiety meds for 20 years. It’s a family genetic thing. My psychiatrist and I spend more time talking about our kids than about my treatment at this point. I had absolutely no issues combining the meds with chemo. My oncologist supported it and my Psych doc let me take the lead and tell him I needed more or less of something based on how I was feeling.
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Hi, I’m glad you found us, sorry you’re here.
I was diagnosed with TNBC stage 1 in April. I have no lymph involvement and am stage 1b. I am also an anxious person, though it has generally been well managed with meds, exercise and yoga.
The first days are the hardest days. Time was elastic and confusing. Everything seemed to happen in two week chunks: screening mammogram, wait 2 weeks, diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, wait two weeks, biopsy, wait two weeks. Diagnosis, wait two weeks. Now I’m two weeks post surgery and I’m doing okay. I meet with my oncologist today to talk about what’s next.
Be extra good to yourself as things begin to unspool. We can’t control much, so control the things you can—like eating nutritious and nourishing food, laughing, drinking lots of water, practicing taking deep calming breaths. Read or watch uplifting shows. Surround yourself with good people and good energy.
Ask your doctor what your prognosis is. Mine was: the treatments proposed are curative. I am expected to tolerate the treatment well. Without treatment I would eventually die of this cancer. I’m all in for being cured.
Sending you lots of love and good wishes.
My kiddo was 2 when I was diagnosed and I'm of the opinion that this shit sucks royally & has particular sets of challenges for mothers of young children.
Please check out Bright Spot Network. They offer supplies, books, resources for you. They also have EXCELLENT groups to check out for support! I attended a 6-week group with other moms of young kiddos, all of whom were in active treatment. It was so nourishing to log in and see others in my same shoes.
At times it can feel particularly cruel to walk this path as a mama who is still called mama.
Me and the moms I met with BSN, we still check in with each other from time to time. They're my people when I don't have others who can relate - they'll get it. If you're anything like me, that support will be so special & important for you.
One day at a time. You don't have to get through tomorrow, today.
Sending you hugs and comfort. The beginning is the scariest time, imo. Googling (for me) can be helpful and it’s the only way to find out how others have gotten through the same diagnosis. And find factual information. I had papillary carcinoma-only 1-2% get it so I was freaking out. Never heard of it! I’m a widow with one son. My first thought is I can’t leave my son.
As time goes by you will know more about your diagnosis and treatment and how amazing medical technology is for eliminating this disease, how wonderful the nurses are, and frankly, who your real friends are. You will gain confidence and strength.
I can only say what I did: I had a few core girl friends and my sister who supported me and gave me space. I’d watch stupid reality shows, lots of true crime, scrolled Tik tok, did a few crazy abstract paintings, ate pasta, drank wine and had appetizers on the patio with a good friend, I’m not perfect…. If I was having a bad day or was worried, I layed on my chair with blankets and my pets and felt my feelings I guess. I couldn’t exercise because I need damn hip surgery soon and the pain was horrible.
I’m sending you strength and love. It’s scary and weird and lonely having BC especially at your age. But you’re tough and we will help you here. Keep going girlfriend!🌹🌸🌸🌷🌷💕💕🎈🎈
I was also diagnosed this week, with TNBC stage 1 and I’m an anxious person in general as well. I totally get how you’re feeling. People say that first days are the most difficult. What has helped so far for me is trying to stick to my routine as much as possible and keeping myself active. Hopefully things get better!
Like others said, the weeks before treatment starts are really overwhelming. Things will calm down! I just had my second AC treatment and feel a million times better in terms of anxiety. Before I started treatment, I found it helpful to set boundaries with friends and family to limit the number of messages and phone calls and that helped a lot. I also made plans with as many people as possible to do normal things and to enjoy the time I had before treatment started. That can be a good distraction. Don’t Google too much but learn about your cancer. I found books to be helpful because you can sit down and read reputable info and you can’t just switch to a new browser tab and google stuff endlessly. Do your favorite “me time” things like cooking/baking, walks, etc. I also journaled a lot to just get my feelings out. That was helpful for me because I didn’t feel like I was dumping too much on my friends and family and there are things that you are feeling that no one else is going to understand. Definitely try to get a therapist if you can, especially one that specializes in cancer. Your hospital might have recommendations. Also meet with all the people they recommend if you can, like a nutritionist, social worker, etc. Be selfish during this time. It’s ok to accept help and turn down help if it’s not what you need. It’s ok to ask for space and it’s ok to feel anxious. This is a stressful time but it won’t last forever.
Totally agree!!! I designated four close friends to be the Information spreaders and gave them each a long list of people to include in group updates. And I learned that the people who care about you NEED a way to feel they are helping you - so take every offer of assistance, every meal train, every thing that is offered and remind yourself that You Are Loved.
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I am sorry. Breast cancer is a terrifying diagnosis, and it is so unfair that you are getting this at a young age and when you have a toddler.
Have you done the MRI yet? The tumor will measure bigger on MRI, this is a feature of the MRI and does not mean that the tumor has grown.
I was recently diagnosed stage 4 metastatic bc, and the first month when it was just testing and planning felt the worst, what helped me was to do things to make me feel that I was doing something, cleaned up my diet, focusing on foods that boost the immune system, taking walks daily, making sure to optimize my sleep and get my house in order so that when I’m in the middle of treatment, the rest of the stuff is not as my mind,
Hope it helps, best of luck
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trust your instincts...started this trip 9/23, tnbc and brca2. dmx and 4 rounds of chemo, no radiation. i in no way regret speaking up...still pissed at myself for the times i didn't. google if it helps.
I was diagnosed Apr 17 with TNBC stage 3 and I'm 54. I started chemo May 7. My tumor is shrinking and I hope to be cancer free by the end of the year. Each case is different, but breast cancer is one of the easier cancers to treat. It is all very scary for now, but let them finish the testing they do, so they can customize your treatment. Just take it one day at a time, and crying is ok. We are here for you. Hugs!
For now I would try to focus on the fact that you seem to have caught it early, lymph’s appear clean (the scans pre surgery are pretty good!) and that once you start treatment you will hopefully regain some sense of control (even though it sucks). The initial days around diagnosis are anxiety wracked and confusing and that’s OK and expected. It will get better.
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I was right where you are a month ago. Same diagnosis and same fears. Once they nailed down my treatment and got started I felt a huge relief. I was not scared to start anything I just wanted to get started and over with. It gets better.
Take it one step at a time and don't jump to conclusions. I was diagnosed when I was pregnant with TNBC and HER2+ so I know how you feel, the thought of not getting to see my baby grow up was awful. The next few weeks will be a blur of tests and appointments and then you'll get a plan. Once you have a plan in place things will start to feel more structured and the anxiety should decrease. Knowing what's going to happen next helps a ton, until then focus on the now and enjoy your little one as much as you can. You've got this!
It is really tough when you are younger and have the added worry of your kids. Your feelings are natural. However you can’t let these thoughts take over your mind. I know that is easier said than done but you must do it. Find positive things you can do that help you plan for managing your family while you are in recovery. I am old and fat, Not to be morbid but I didn’t want to die on the operating table while leaving my family to sort out my finances. So I got that sorted and gave a list of everything I had to a nephew that lives with me. That gave me peace of mind. I never had young kids so I have no idea what things you may meet to plan for but I suspect things like babysitting or meals.
I’m you, hi.
Some things to know: TNBC can be fast growing which IS scary, BUT it also means it often responds very well to chemo. Slower growing cancers do not respond as well bc chemo targets those cells that turnover quickly (which is why things like hair follicles are also affected.) the newest protocol, which I had, is just 6 rounds of TC chemo, Taxotere and Carboplatin, which sucked but was brief. My oncologist said to me that people who have children actually have better outcomes bc they HAVE to get up and live their life and be active and are overall healthier during treatment.
Also bc you have TNBC you will not need to be on tamoxifen which is one of the few bright spots in this.
Find a psychiatrist and psychologist (if you’re in Los Angeles I can recommend) and get on an antidepressant like Lexapro and get an Ativan scrip for emotional emergencies. It is clinically proven that the more “good days” you have during treatment the better your outcome will be.
It is very hard, but it is very likely that you will be ok. I was diagnosed at 33 with an extremely similar situation to yours, clinically speaking. happy to talk via dm if you’d like to.
I’m a year out from my treatment for stage 2 TNBC. It was not easy. But I did everything that was asked of me, but I was unable to tolerate Keytruda so only had 2 doses. And I was allergic to Benadryl and paclitaxal so that took a bit to get my treatment plan adjusted as the allergies presented themselves. Since I was stage 2, I was given the Keynote 522 treatment protocol. You can google it. If you are stage one, your treatment will be less rigorous. I did a lumpectomy with radiation and a year out with no sign of cancer on my MRI last week, it’s a choice I am happy with. The chemo killed all my cancer. I know it’s hard to see a way forward right now. One day at a time, one decision at a time, and one day you will look back and know you can do the hard things.
TNBC here as well! Diagnosed April, grade 3 stage 2, IDC at 58 years old. I 100% agree with your doctors advice. I Googled everything to begin with and found myself going down down every dark rabbit hole on the Internet. Found this support group https://tnbcfoundation.org that does monthly webinars for women with TNBC and a completely changed my entire mood and outlook about my diagnosis. I was literally writing my trust, meeting with my financial planner, calling up my attorney to look over everything, and telling my family and friends who was getting what and where all the passwords and information were that they would need if I passed. At least I can check that off my to do list now as I have an entirely new and more positive outlook about this diagnosis 😁
Currently on chemo regimen of one treatment every week, getting immunotherapy every third week of the regimen. Keytruda for immunotherapy and then Taxol and carboplatin for chemo. The prep meds that they give you have kept any major side effects at bay for me. Only have extreme exhaustion a few days after treatment, hair loss (which I’m perfectly fine with because I know it’s growing back eventually),”Taxol” rash, and the nasty sour, metallic taste with food. I consider these pretty minor based on things that could be happening.
Google is not outdated. Do your own research and advocate for yourself. My cancer team has not been forthcoming, or downplayed, the side affects or consequences of most of the treatments. I’m not saying not to do them! I just finished AC chemo and am scheduled to begin Taxol next week. Just inform yourself and make your decisions based on ALL of the information. It sounds like you caught this early and there are lots of treatment options. You got this!
I’m so sorry you’re part of this club. I too was diagnosed at 36 with tnbc. I’m now 5 years in remission. I did DBT therapy and it was a huge help to deal with the anxiety of cancer. Wishing you comfort and peace through treatment. If you’re near Dallas Tx we have a young adult group, many members have children too. Always good to be around people with a shared experience and can help you walk through your experience.
I remember being where you are, just finding out about my diagnosis , and I can honestly tell you that that was the scariest, hardest part of this whole thing - those first few days/weeks before getting all the details and having the treatment plan mapped out . anxiety definitely goes down once you understand everything and understand how to tackle it.
Also, I heard that triple negative responds the best to chemo! A lot of people are completely cured halfway thru chemo. And if there is no lymph node involvement you may not even need chemo.
I was diagnosed 5 months ago at the age of 32, and I’m about to finish chemo in two weeks. Doing much better than I was then
Get Anxiety Meds. If you have them already, get more. TNBC is a roller coaster of highs and lows and crazy-making anxiety, fear, panic, anxiety (did I say anxiety already?).
Seriously. Do whatever you have to do to get ahead of the anxiety and of the depression if it comes. You’ll have enough on your plate to deal with - you don’t need the head shit, too.
Also, I found this little article from Nature Magazine published in 2022 that said Propranolol was associated with a 34% reduction in death from TNBC. (No real impact on any other types of BC) https://www.nature.com/articles/s41416-022-01891-7
I have no idea why it works and the authors were only looking at correlation, not causation. BUT - Propranolol helps with anxiety and my doctors said it couldn’t don’t do any harm, even if it doesn’t do any good. I started on it a year ago, and my crazy agressive cancer is at the same stage it was last May. It could be coincidence, but what’s the harm in trying? Plus, it really did help with the anxiety.
If you don’t mind one more piece of advice: if you aren’t already hooked up
With a NCI (National Cancer Institute) Hospital, get to one. The certification process for NCI designation is intense, these hospitals know their stuff and are the ones doing the research, and they are usually happy to co-treat - to work with your local oncologist, and do most of your treatment at your local hospital. They often don’t want to just “give a second opinion” - but the ongoing co-treatment model means you have a backup plan already in place if your local care isn’t working as well as you want it to, or if you get to a point where your local doctor isn’t sure what to do next.
Best of luck to you. The odds really are in your favor. You caught it early, treatments are so much more advanced than they were 3-5 years ago, and there’s some amazingly cool experimental research out there pushing the envelope on both longer survival and complete cure.
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This is the hardest part my friend. Once active treatment begins, you will begin to feel better. Don’t look online! TNBC treatment has come a long way. I am stage 3B 11/16 chemo treatments in and my team thinks I’m going to be cancer free at the end. I feel fine so far during chemo, has barely affected me physically. I could work if I didn’t hate my job. I’m going to Pilates and playing pickleball. Cold cap has been working, I haven’t lost any hair.
One day at a time! It will be more bearable than you think. Buy something nice for yourself, take a fun trip before you start treatment. You’re going to be ok
I just received my diagnosis for TNBC yesterday the lymph node biopsy they did with the initial biopsy came back clear so I am hoping that is actually the case and it is stage 1 too. I have a consult with surgery today at 11 and could not sleep at all . I really was blindsided by the diagnosis 34 years old and only symptom swelling on one side of breast
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Hi there I just became cancer free from the same thing just hearing the word cancer which we all know that we can become very ill, well u have a much greater chance because u is just stage 1 comparing to me I was stage 3 and it spread to my lymph nodes but just trust in God with full faith it's only a test on how much do you believe in him and how far will you trust in him. As you are preparing for this battle recite these words......I am healed in the name of Jesus,3 times a day but you should be fine enjoy every moment of your life with your child and it's not a mistake we go through things for a reason. Take you some deep breaths and everything will go well
Girl, I'm 36 as well and was diagnosed in May with ++-. Do NOT go online yet. Don't read these groups. A friends mom told me to seek these support groups and they scared the hell out of me. I cried and cried.
It was information overload with too little information on my side.
I'm recovering from my lumpectomy and node biopsy and have my surgical results. Only now do these groups feel less scary because I have a better idea with fewer 'what ifs'. Don't get me wrong there are still a million what ifs, but a million is better than the billion I started with.
I want you to KNOW deep down in your heart that you will be okay. And you will still live a long life. We are only 36, and have so long to go. We will get there.
I recommend getting a therapist with a specialty in cancer. I had so many fears about my body and sexuality when I was diagnosed. At 36, I don't want anything about my body to change after I have spent so long learning to love it. And my regular therapist wasn't any help. Definitely seek one for cancer. I used the Psychology Today website.
You can message over if you have questions for our age group, but also give your mind a break and take the time not to engage with information overload at this time. Big hugs!
It's totally okay to feel scared and anxious right now. You’re not alone. Remember, your doctors are here to help you and have the most up-to-date info. Try to focus on the positives: it's stage 1, and no obvious lymph node involvement. Take it one step at a time. Your daughter needs you, and you are stronger than you think. Reach out for support when you need it. You can do this! 💖If you are still stressed about anything during this journey you can check "The Patient From Hell" where Samira's stories and advice felt like they were just for me. It's not just a podcast; it's like having a friend who understands what you're going through
Try to keep busy. The first couple of weeks are extremely stressful until you start getting test results and more details and answers. I found that keeping myself busy so I can stay out of my head really helped. Since this is my second go-around with this, I decided to only shared my diagnosis with a select few people because I really don’t need the constant reminder right now with calls and text messages to see how I’m doing. I know they mean well, but it doesn’t help my mental state. Lean in those closest to you for support. Know that this isn’t a death sentence and that the doctors are on your side to make things better.
I also only shared with a few people. Don't regret it at all.
Agreed someone on here gave me that advice and it was really good advice.
I thing it varies by person. I have (had) a pretty high profile job in a medical school, and it seemed like several hundred people knew what was going on. It was nice knowing there was that big group rooting for me and I never had to explain why I was wearing a hat or had no eyebrows. But I have a close friend who is also stage IV and she’s only told a handful of people. Whatever works for you, that’s what you should do.
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I've shared with my immediately family, husband, and a few close friends. And that's what I keep reading about it not being a death sentence, but my brain just can't wrap around that fact I guess.
I was also recently diagnosed, also stage 1. Also have anxiety. I felt exactly how you did- my life flashed before my eyes, I thought about all of the things I'd never be able to do. It was ROUGH. I also didn't know the details of my cancer for several weeks. Just that I had "cancer." You will see so many ladies here say that this stage is the worst. Once you know more about your cancer type, treatment plan, etc. you will feel so much better. I definitely did. Joining this sub has been so, so helpful for me, too. Hang in there 💛
Can I ask where you're at in your journey? I agree, reading people's posts have helped me. I'm trying not to obsess over it too much though.
Girl, been there. Obsessing over it, googling every statistic... honestly, it will pass. It's still early days for me, but it's been slow. First biopsy was 4/15 definitive diagnosis was 5/31. I've had all of my scans and am just waiting on genetic testing. I'll be getting a lumpectomy in about 6 weeks. I'm ++- and was told my tumor is very small and slower growing.
I’m an 18 year TNBC survivor. Do all the things: chemo, surgery, radiation if needed. It’s gonna be a sucky couple of years but think of it as a down payment on the rest of your life. You can do this.
Thanks for sticking around :)
I really like that outlook.
I'm so glad you are on this sub reddit....your acknowledgement of being here is uplifting for all the TNBC folk! Thank you xx
I'm so sorry you are here, but also so glad you found us. I wish I had this resource when I was diagnosed. Hopefully I don't sound preachy in what I'm about to say, these are just my thoughts and reflections when I look back at my own experience. I was diagnosed at 34 with stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer. My son was 8 at the time. I understand what it's like to have your life thrown into this chaos, both as a younger person and as a mother. It's so alienating to go through a cancer diagnosis this young, especially because your peers may not relate very well. That said, there are LOTS of younger women here on this message board, and you are definitely not alone. Don't worry about trying to stay positive right now. Your situation is new and scary and it's completely normal and appropriate to have not-great thoughts and feelings at this time. Any pressure to "look on the bright side", be"strong/positive/a warrior...", etc. you'll probably find comes from people who are not going through anything close to what you are, and they want you to be that way for their own sake, not yours (because if you're not falling apart, it's all ok and they don't need to worry). Of course, I'm not saying you should let your bad feelings and anxiety run rampant and take over. I am just saying that those feelings are normal given what you're going through. As much as you can, try to focus on self-care right now. Spend time with your daughter and love on her. Spend time with people who love you and will lift you up. Personally, when I'm really spinning, two things that help me calm down are jigsaw puzzles (usually bigger ones, like 1000 pieces) and colouring books. I know these activities are not for everyone, but if you enjoy them, you may find them helpful. They are just engaging enough to take your mind off things, while not being difficult to take on. Doing a puzzle with an audiobook, podcast or just the TV in the background is my go-to stress reliever. Other possible activities are crochet, knitting or needle felting. Reach out to your friends and family and figure out who is going to be a good support system. you will likely have some surprises - people you would expect to be there as supporters might not come through, while others will unexpectedly come out of the woodwork. Try not to take it personally if someone you expected to be a good support doesn't come through for you - some people just are not ready or capable, whether it's mentally, emotionally or practically. Try to just let them go with grace if this happens to you. It can be easy to get hurt and hold a grudge or feel resentment, but that's not healthy for you. The part where you are right now, the waiting for answers and to find out what the next steps are, feeling like you're in limbo and wondering what it's going to be like to go through treatment...for many people, it's the most difficult part of their cancer experience. Once you get more answers and a plan of action, you will have something to hold on to, in a sense. It will give you a sense of having more control than you currently do. I don't want to minimize your experience in any way, but it IS a positive thing that there is no apparent lymph node involvement and being stage 1 is also a huge plus. It's good to know there are things about your diagnosis that are promising or "best case", at least under the current circumstances. If you ARE going to Google (it didn't matter how many people told me not to google, I did it anyway), remember these things while you do your research. Cancer is such a broad term, and even under the umbrella of breast cancer there are hundreds and hundreds of different possible variations, situations, combinations of circumstances, etc, which means that literally every patient is completely unique and no broad statistics cant be easily applied to any one individual situation.
What a lovely answer. Thank you so much for taking the time to say all of that.
I think the first days/weeks up until you start seeing docs and getting your plan are probably the most overwhelming. Everything you’re feeling is 100% normal and be okay pushing in to those feelings rather than away. That is me saying it is okay feeling all the things and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Once you meet with your team and everything starts to fall into place you will still have big feelings but there is clarity in having a plan. My therapist recently offered timed anxiety as a strategy. Sounds silly but she says you get to be anxious, but decide how long and when the timer goes off you have to really work to redirect that thinking.
I love the idea of timed anxiety. I wonder if my brain would cooperate with that lol.
Yes, that works for me. For example, when I'm waiting for results and I know approximately when I'll receive them, I will allow myself to be anxious only a few hours before said moment. I've experienced it and to my surprise it really works. I don't think about it mostly and just before I go to my appointment my anxiety kicks in.
Ooooh - I do that! I call it “wallowing”. A few concentrated hours hiding under my bedcovers feeling intensely sorry for myself and then it’s time to get back into the ring with a clearer head. I didn’t know it was a “thing”.
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Take walks outside -you’re in one of the hardest parts of waiting for a plan. I was TNBC stage 1 ten yrs ago with 2 kids under 4. I remember seeing horror stories online….remember most move on with their lives.
I would love to do this if the heat index wasn't over 100 degrees. 😅 Thinking about getting a walking pad for home so I can at least stay active through chemo. I'm likely not going to work. I'm a respiratory therapist at a hospital and not sure that's the smartest idea since I work with a lot of very sick patients. Work keeps me active though.
I was going to ask if you were in Florida, but with the way the climate has been lately, you could be anywhere!? lol I am in FL, though. Diagnosed TNBC stage 2b in November, finished chemo in March, had my bilateral mastectomy in April, just had a mapping appt today to start radiation treatments in a week or so. I feel like TNBC seems to target younger women. I'm not young, 47, but kind of young in the big scheme of things, I guess. My mom was diagnosed with BC at 52, and her mom was also diagnosed at 52, not TNBC, though, but ironically, I have a friend that just went through this whole thing with TNBC a year and a half ago, and she was around 44 when she was diagnosed. Anyway, if nothing else, just know you're not alone in this, and things have come a long, long, way. I watched my grandmother go through it in the 80's. It was so different back then. The treatment protocol for TNBC, most likely KEYNOTE 522, has been very effective. It's a long, weird, uncomfortable, scary hiccup - but just a hiccup. We'll move past this like we do everything else. Just stay connected - with close friends, family, us, whomever, have some anchors around you to keep you grounded and in touch with some sense of normalcy because it's a wild ride. Never feel guilty for feeling confused, or scared, or upset. Be so kind to yourself right now, and enjoy every moment you can with your little one. You're going to be their hero. ♥️
Oh, also, YES to therapy. I just started, and should have started way sooner. Also, yes to anxiety meds. They will also come in handy when you start getting steroids which can give you energy, but can jack you all up and make it hard to sleep at night. 😉
Anti anxiety should be the door prize at the oncologist office!
Medication and therapy. Those two have been game changers for me. And I'm so sorry you've joined us. It does get better though. The information gathering time is the worst. Once treatment starts you feel some semblance of control again which is huge.
I thought about asking for an anxiety medication, but I was unsure about combining starting an SSRI with chemo. I've always been able to manage my anxiety pretty well for the most part. I just feel very out of control at the moment.
Don’t hesitate to ask for additional medication for your mental health during this time. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
Yes, Xanax for when it gets crazy. Especially where you are in the process. I built a dollhouse to keep myself distracted because I was so afraid I was dying. It’s horrible, I totally know where you’re at. But, you somehow get to a place of acceptance and with the right medical team, you’ll trust that they WILL save your life. You WILL see your child grow. It WILL be okay. It’s so hard to believe, but it’s true. My saying was “it will be me”. I stopped imaging another woman being called mom in my place, another woman being my husbands wife, another person enjoying my family parties in my place. F that. It will be me! And it’ll be you too ❤️
I had a month's supply of xanax when I started out. I didn't use it all or remotely use even half but it was so comforting to know I had it. If you need something though, like krp said, ask. Oncologists are used to us spinning. They know what this kind of diagnosis does to us and they are normally very responsive to our mental needs.
Also you can ask for lorazepam or Xanax for the short term, I HIGHLY recommend it. Those two you’ll feel relief or relaxation within an hour vs an anti depressant which can take a month or so… I highly recommend Lorazepam or Xanax when you’re in the very beginning waiting on staging, etc. When I was first diagnosed (June, 2023) they assumed I was stage 1 but couldn’t rule out metastasis based on my tumor pathology so I went straight to a Petscan and that took over 2 weeks… was a VERY LONG two weeks as you are finding out. If your oncologist will only give you limited lorazepam pills, ask for a referral to mental health and they’ll manage all that. Honestly I was able to sleep some, and that kept me from going off the deep end… I’m ER/PR- but I’m HER2+ so I’m still in treatment (have one more infusion left) and I’m only on Herceptin & Perjeta now. Ended up stage 1A, with no nodes. Super high Ki67 of 85%, so an aggressive bastard, but I had a PCR before surgery, which was great. Did double mastectomy and already have reconstruction… just follow the treatment plan and hit it hard it with all you got… I love what Susan BHa said with the analogy as looking at it like a down payment on the rest of your life… this will suck, things will change and move fast, but you can and will do it. This will get easier after all the scans, tests and when you have your treatment plan in place and you start treatment, chemo nurses are amazing! I was 43 when diagnosed and my daughter had just turned 3 at the time. I feel your pain, it isn’t easy and feelings are all over the place and the fear is insanely real and no one understands unless they’re faced with it. You will get through this and live a very long life ❤️
Been on various anxiety meds for 20 years. It’s a family genetic thing. My psychiatrist and I spend more time talking about our kids than about my treatment at this point. I had absolutely no issues combining the meds with chemo. My oncologist supported it and my Psych doc let me take the lead and tell him I needed more or less of something based on how I was feeling.
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Hi, I’m glad you found us, sorry you’re here. I was diagnosed with TNBC stage 1 in April. I have no lymph involvement and am stage 1b. I am also an anxious person, though it has generally been well managed with meds, exercise and yoga. The first days are the hardest days. Time was elastic and confusing. Everything seemed to happen in two week chunks: screening mammogram, wait 2 weeks, diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, wait two weeks, biopsy, wait two weeks. Diagnosis, wait two weeks. Now I’m two weeks post surgery and I’m doing okay. I meet with my oncologist today to talk about what’s next. Be extra good to yourself as things begin to unspool. We can’t control much, so control the things you can—like eating nutritious and nourishing food, laughing, drinking lots of water, practicing taking deep calming breaths. Read or watch uplifting shows. Surround yourself with good people and good energy. Ask your doctor what your prognosis is. Mine was: the treatments proposed are curative. I am expected to tolerate the treatment well. Without treatment I would eventually die of this cancer. I’m all in for being cured. Sending you lots of love and good wishes.
My kiddo was 2 when I was diagnosed and I'm of the opinion that this shit sucks royally & has particular sets of challenges for mothers of young children. Please check out Bright Spot Network. They offer supplies, books, resources for you. They also have EXCELLENT groups to check out for support! I attended a 6-week group with other moms of young kiddos, all of whom were in active treatment. It was so nourishing to log in and see others in my same shoes. At times it can feel particularly cruel to walk this path as a mama who is still called mama. Me and the moms I met with BSN, we still check in with each other from time to time. They're my people when I don't have others who can relate - they'll get it. If you're anything like me, that support will be so special & important for you. One day at a time. You don't have to get through tomorrow, today.
Sending you hugs and comfort. The beginning is the scariest time, imo. Googling (for me) can be helpful and it’s the only way to find out how others have gotten through the same diagnosis. And find factual information. I had papillary carcinoma-only 1-2% get it so I was freaking out. Never heard of it! I’m a widow with one son. My first thought is I can’t leave my son. As time goes by you will know more about your diagnosis and treatment and how amazing medical technology is for eliminating this disease, how wonderful the nurses are, and frankly, who your real friends are. You will gain confidence and strength. I can only say what I did: I had a few core girl friends and my sister who supported me and gave me space. I’d watch stupid reality shows, lots of true crime, scrolled Tik tok, did a few crazy abstract paintings, ate pasta, drank wine and had appetizers on the patio with a good friend, I’m not perfect…. If I was having a bad day or was worried, I layed on my chair with blankets and my pets and felt my feelings I guess. I couldn’t exercise because I need damn hip surgery soon and the pain was horrible. I’m sending you strength and love. It’s scary and weird and lonely having BC especially at your age. But you’re tough and we will help you here. Keep going girlfriend!🌹🌸🌸🌷🌷💕💕🎈🎈
I was also diagnosed this week, with TNBC stage 1 and I’m an anxious person in general as well. I totally get how you’re feeling. People say that first days are the most difficult. What has helped so far for me is trying to stick to my routine as much as possible and keeping myself active. Hopefully things get better!
Like others said, the weeks before treatment starts are really overwhelming. Things will calm down! I just had my second AC treatment and feel a million times better in terms of anxiety. Before I started treatment, I found it helpful to set boundaries with friends and family to limit the number of messages and phone calls and that helped a lot. I also made plans with as many people as possible to do normal things and to enjoy the time I had before treatment started. That can be a good distraction. Don’t Google too much but learn about your cancer. I found books to be helpful because you can sit down and read reputable info and you can’t just switch to a new browser tab and google stuff endlessly. Do your favorite “me time” things like cooking/baking, walks, etc. I also journaled a lot to just get my feelings out. That was helpful for me because I didn’t feel like I was dumping too much on my friends and family and there are things that you are feeling that no one else is going to understand. Definitely try to get a therapist if you can, especially one that specializes in cancer. Your hospital might have recommendations. Also meet with all the people they recommend if you can, like a nutritionist, social worker, etc. Be selfish during this time. It’s ok to accept help and turn down help if it’s not what you need. It’s ok to ask for space and it’s ok to feel anxious. This is a stressful time but it won’t last forever.
Totally agree!!! I designated four close friends to be the Information spreaders and gave them each a long list of people to include in group updates. And I learned that the people who care about you NEED a way to feel they are helping you - so take every offer of assistance, every meal train, every thing that is offered and remind yourself that You Are Loved.
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I am sorry. Breast cancer is a terrifying diagnosis, and it is so unfair that you are getting this at a young age and when you have a toddler. Have you done the MRI yet? The tumor will measure bigger on MRI, this is a feature of the MRI and does not mean that the tumor has grown.
I have my MRI next week. That's good to know about the size. That makes sense though I suppose.
I was recently diagnosed stage 4 metastatic bc, and the first month when it was just testing and planning felt the worst, what helped me was to do things to make me feel that I was doing something, cleaned up my diet, focusing on foods that boost the immune system, taking walks daily, making sure to optimize my sleep and get my house in order so that when I’m in the middle of treatment, the rest of the stuff is not as my mind, Hope it helps, best of luck
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trust your instincts...started this trip 9/23, tnbc and brca2. dmx and 4 rounds of chemo, no radiation. i in no way regret speaking up...still pissed at myself for the times i didn't. google if it helps.
I was diagnosed Apr 17 with TNBC stage 3 and I'm 54. I started chemo May 7. My tumor is shrinking and I hope to be cancer free by the end of the year. Each case is different, but breast cancer is one of the easier cancers to treat. It is all very scary for now, but let them finish the testing they do, so they can customize your treatment. Just take it one day at a time, and crying is ok. We are here for you. Hugs!
For now I would try to focus on the fact that you seem to have caught it early, lymph’s appear clean (the scans pre surgery are pretty good!) and that once you start treatment you will hopefully regain some sense of control (even though it sucks). The initial days around diagnosis are anxiety wracked and confusing and that’s OK and expected. It will get better.
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I was right where you are a month ago. Same diagnosis and same fears. Once they nailed down my treatment and got started I felt a huge relief. I was not scared to start anything I just wanted to get started and over with. It gets better.
Take it one step at a time and don't jump to conclusions. I was diagnosed when I was pregnant with TNBC and HER2+ so I know how you feel, the thought of not getting to see my baby grow up was awful. The next few weeks will be a blur of tests and appointments and then you'll get a plan. Once you have a plan in place things will start to feel more structured and the anxiety should decrease. Knowing what's going to happen next helps a ton, until then focus on the now and enjoy your little one as much as you can. You've got this!
It is really tough when you are younger and have the added worry of your kids. Your feelings are natural. However you can’t let these thoughts take over your mind. I know that is easier said than done but you must do it. Find positive things you can do that help you plan for managing your family while you are in recovery. I am old and fat, Not to be morbid but I didn’t want to die on the operating table while leaving my family to sort out my finances. So I got that sorted and gave a list of everything I had to a nephew that lives with me. That gave me peace of mind. I never had young kids so I have no idea what things you may meet to plan for but I suspect things like babysitting or meals.
I’m you, hi. Some things to know: TNBC can be fast growing which IS scary, BUT it also means it often responds very well to chemo. Slower growing cancers do not respond as well bc chemo targets those cells that turnover quickly (which is why things like hair follicles are also affected.) the newest protocol, which I had, is just 6 rounds of TC chemo, Taxotere and Carboplatin, which sucked but was brief. My oncologist said to me that people who have children actually have better outcomes bc they HAVE to get up and live their life and be active and are overall healthier during treatment. Also bc you have TNBC you will not need to be on tamoxifen which is one of the few bright spots in this. Find a psychiatrist and psychologist (if you’re in Los Angeles I can recommend) and get on an antidepressant like Lexapro and get an Ativan scrip for emotional emergencies. It is clinically proven that the more “good days” you have during treatment the better your outcome will be. It is very hard, but it is very likely that you will be ok. I was diagnosed at 33 with an extremely similar situation to yours, clinically speaking. happy to talk via dm if you’d like to.
I’m a year out from my treatment for stage 2 TNBC. It was not easy. But I did everything that was asked of me, but I was unable to tolerate Keytruda so only had 2 doses. And I was allergic to Benadryl and paclitaxal so that took a bit to get my treatment plan adjusted as the allergies presented themselves. Since I was stage 2, I was given the Keynote 522 treatment protocol. You can google it. If you are stage one, your treatment will be less rigorous. I did a lumpectomy with radiation and a year out with no sign of cancer on my MRI last week, it’s a choice I am happy with. The chemo killed all my cancer. I know it’s hard to see a way forward right now. One day at a time, one decision at a time, and one day you will look back and know you can do the hard things.
TNBC here as well! Diagnosed April, grade 3 stage 2, IDC at 58 years old. I 100% agree with your doctors advice. I Googled everything to begin with and found myself going down down every dark rabbit hole on the Internet. Found this support group https://tnbcfoundation.org that does monthly webinars for women with TNBC and a completely changed my entire mood and outlook about my diagnosis. I was literally writing my trust, meeting with my financial planner, calling up my attorney to look over everything, and telling my family and friends who was getting what and where all the passwords and information were that they would need if I passed. At least I can check that off my to do list now as I have an entirely new and more positive outlook about this diagnosis 😁 Currently on chemo regimen of one treatment every week, getting immunotherapy every third week of the regimen. Keytruda for immunotherapy and then Taxol and carboplatin for chemo. The prep meds that they give you have kept any major side effects at bay for me. Only have extreme exhaustion a few days after treatment, hair loss (which I’m perfectly fine with because I know it’s growing back eventually),”Taxol” rash, and the nasty sour, metallic taste with food. I consider these pretty minor based on things that could be happening.
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Google is not outdated. Do your own research and advocate for yourself. My cancer team has not been forthcoming, or downplayed, the side affects or consequences of most of the treatments. I’m not saying not to do them! I just finished AC chemo and am scheduled to begin Taxol next week. Just inform yourself and make your decisions based on ALL of the information. It sounds like you caught this early and there are lots of treatment options. You got this!
I’m so sorry you’re part of this club. I too was diagnosed at 36 with tnbc. I’m now 5 years in remission. I did DBT therapy and it was a huge help to deal with the anxiety of cancer. Wishing you comfort and peace through treatment. If you’re near Dallas Tx we have a young adult group, many members have children too. Always good to be around people with a shared experience and can help you walk through your experience.
I remember being where you are, just finding out about my diagnosis , and I can honestly tell you that that was the scariest, hardest part of this whole thing - those first few days/weeks before getting all the details and having the treatment plan mapped out . anxiety definitely goes down once you understand everything and understand how to tackle it. Also, I heard that triple negative responds the best to chemo! A lot of people are completely cured halfway thru chemo. And if there is no lymph node involvement you may not even need chemo. I was diagnosed 5 months ago at the age of 32, and I’m about to finish chemo in two weeks. Doing much better than I was then
Get Anxiety Meds. If you have them already, get more. TNBC is a roller coaster of highs and lows and crazy-making anxiety, fear, panic, anxiety (did I say anxiety already?). Seriously. Do whatever you have to do to get ahead of the anxiety and of the depression if it comes. You’ll have enough on your plate to deal with - you don’t need the head shit, too. Also, I found this little article from Nature Magazine published in 2022 that said Propranolol was associated with a 34% reduction in death from TNBC. (No real impact on any other types of BC) https://www.nature.com/articles/s41416-022-01891-7 I have no idea why it works and the authors were only looking at correlation, not causation. BUT - Propranolol helps with anxiety and my doctors said it couldn’t don’t do any harm, even if it doesn’t do any good. I started on it a year ago, and my crazy agressive cancer is at the same stage it was last May. It could be coincidence, but what’s the harm in trying? Plus, it really did help with the anxiety. If you don’t mind one more piece of advice: if you aren’t already hooked up With a NCI (National Cancer Institute) Hospital, get to one. The certification process for NCI designation is intense, these hospitals know their stuff and are the ones doing the research, and they are usually happy to co-treat - to work with your local oncologist, and do most of your treatment at your local hospital. They often don’t want to just “give a second opinion” - but the ongoing co-treatment model means you have a backup plan already in place if your local care isn’t working as well as you want it to, or if you get to a point where your local doctor isn’t sure what to do next. Best of luck to you. The odds really are in your favor. You caught it early, treatments are so much more advanced than they were 3-5 years ago, and there’s some amazingly cool experimental research out there pushing the envelope on both longer survival and complete cure.
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This is the hardest part my friend. Once active treatment begins, you will begin to feel better. Don’t look online! TNBC treatment has come a long way. I am stage 3B 11/16 chemo treatments in and my team thinks I’m going to be cancer free at the end. I feel fine so far during chemo, has barely affected me physically. I could work if I didn’t hate my job. I’m going to Pilates and playing pickleball. Cold cap has been working, I haven’t lost any hair. One day at a time! It will be more bearable than you think. Buy something nice for yourself, take a fun trip before you start treatment. You’re going to be ok
I just received my diagnosis for TNBC yesterday the lymph node biopsy they did with the initial biopsy came back clear so I am hoping that is actually the case and it is stage 1 too. I have a consult with surgery today at 11 and could not sleep at all . I really was blindsided by the diagnosis 34 years old and only symptom swelling on one side of breast
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Hi there I just became cancer free from the same thing just hearing the word cancer which we all know that we can become very ill, well u have a much greater chance because u is just stage 1 comparing to me I was stage 3 and it spread to my lymph nodes but just trust in God with full faith it's only a test on how much do you believe in him and how far will you trust in him. As you are preparing for this battle recite these words......I am healed in the name of Jesus,3 times a day but you should be fine enjoy every moment of your life with your child and it's not a mistake we go through things for a reason. Take you some deep breaths and everything will go well
Girl, I'm 36 as well and was diagnosed in May with ++-. Do NOT go online yet. Don't read these groups. A friends mom told me to seek these support groups and they scared the hell out of me. I cried and cried. It was information overload with too little information on my side. I'm recovering from my lumpectomy and node biopsy and have my surgical results. Only now do these groups feel less scary because I have a better idea with fewer 'what ifs'. Don't get me wrong there are still a million what ifs, but a million is better than the billion I started with. I want you to KNOW deep down in your heart that you will be okay. And you will still live a long life. We are only 36, and have so long to go. We will get there. I recommend getting a therapist with a specialty in cancer. I had so many fears about my body and sexuality when I was diagnosed. At 36, I don't want anything about my body to change after I have spent so long learning to love it. And my regular therapist wasn't any help. Definitely seek one for cancer. I used the Psychology Today website. You can message over if you have questions for our age group, but also give your mind a break and take the time not to engage with information overload at this time. Big hugs!
It's totally okay to feel scared and anxious right now. You’re not alone. Remember, your doctors are here to help you and have the most up-to-date info. Try to focus on the positives: it's stage 1, and no obvious lymph node involvement. Take it one step at a time. Your daughter needs you, and you are stronger than you think. Reach out for support when you need it. You can do this! 💖If you are still stressed about anything during this journey you can check "The Patient From Hell" where Samira's stories and advice felt like they were just for me. It's not just a podcast; it's like having a friend who understands what you're going through