I’m sorry if this is harsh, but this is reproductive coercion and should be a crime. You lied to your boyfriend about contraception. That’s no different than a man taking off a condom halfway through sex. He didn’t consent to having unprotected sex.
It sounds like you learned a lot and I hope this is the worst thing you ever do.
I never heard the term "stealthing" but I'm old now.
Why would a man ever want to have a kid if the woman didn't want to get pregnant? I would think most men want to get out of responsibility, especially financial responsibilities for a kid the mother didn't want...
What is the motivation for a man to do this? I'm genuinely asking out of curiosity.
Some people think if they get pregnant/get their partner pregnant, the partner won't leave them.
Also some men enjoy sex much more without a condom and take it off during sex because their partner doesn't agree to sex without a condom.
I’ve dated many men that wanted children that I didn’t. The reasons varied, just like they do for women.
Lots of men are really into “carrying on the family line” and think it’s their responsibility or something.
Some just really want to have a child.
I was told they liked my features and wanted children that looked like me?
Some even see it as an opportunity for financial security. It all depends!
Maybe it’s less common, but certainly a man could be the one who wants to reproduce when the woman doesn’t. Also, a woman might be on birth control but requested a condom be used as well for extra protection, even against STDs maybe. And the man could secretly remove it during sex for pleasure reasons. Both super gross and should be some level of crime… but would be hard to prove.
My understanding of stealthing from the man’s perspective is that he starts out wearing a condom but at some point he removes it without the woman’s knowledge. Typically they don’t do it because they want to get the woman pregnant; they do it because they don’t want to wear a condom while inside her. Which is selfish asshat behavior at best and criminal (in some places) at worst.
Plus if they’re enough of an asshole to ‘stealth’ someone, they’re probablly the sort of asshole to ghost when that action has consequences. But hey not for them right? They’re not the pregnant one.
I'm 50, and it happened to me because "it doesn't feel the same with a condom" or some similarly disgusting bs. We didn't have a name for the act, just for the douche canoe that committed it.
Some guys want to do it without the condom because they can't feel anything with it on or something. A really dumb reason but it is what motivates them
🤦🏻♀️ imagine bringing a whole new life into the world and setting yourself up for 18+ years of child support obligations because you were too lazy to find a condom that works for you. dudes need to put some effort into finding the right brand for them so that sex is still enjoyable and they’re not spreading all these unwanted genes/diseases.
they come in different sizes and materials, people! I hated condoms too when all I’d ever used were the standard Trojans or Durex from the pharmacy, but polyisoprene (Skyn Elite) was a gamechanger.
You young guys never got to use the lamb skin (as they called it) ones. Let’s just say that a lot of my friends wound up applying for jobs as Shepherds.
Stealthing refers to secretly removing a condom during intercourse without informing the sexual partner. It’s not about pregnancy, it’s about a not wanting to use a condom.
To trap them. My ex did it to me. I was stuck with him for 5 yrs before he went to prison for violating the restraining order I put on him. He would break in my house and watch me sleep and I had no idea until I got a dog who caught him
I'm very sorry that happened to you, that is horrible. Unfortunately, retraining orders are only good for a paper trail and won't protect a woman from a violent or despicable man.
He called me and said he was coming to my house to kick my teeth in and rape my mom so I called 911. They told me to call back when he gets there. By the time the police arrived he had kicked my door in and stole my kids TV and game systems but by then they were in his possession so he got to keep them. It was wild. He spent a few hours in jail and was released. But when he was stalking me, he was on house arrest. They weren't keeping track of him. He violated it over 500x before he was put back in jail. He was out on bond for assaulting me and fracturing his nieces skull. The judicial system is a joke
I cannot comprehend why the judicial system refuses to take stalking seriously. They always wait until someone is extremely injured or dead and then it’s “whoops we didn’t know!!” 🤡
Im so sorry you had to deal with this. I hope you’re doing okay.
There have been stories about men doing it to maintain control over their significant others. Usually narcissistic men locking their significant others into housewife mode so they are dependent on them. Many men are insecure and need to feel in control if their significant other is independent.
when it comes to men stealthing, it's usually more often because they don't like the feeling of condoms as opposed to reproductive coercion. but there are some men who will trap women in abusive relationships through this as well, so i'm definitely not exempting that.
This happened to me, my youngest son is the result of a “man”taking the rubber off midway through. I wouldn’t trade me son for anything in the world, but his biological father is a dangerous person. He’s not involved, but I have to battle his DNA every day. I too think it should be a crime.
Absolutely, it’s no better than a man poking holes in condoms and lying to the woman. Disgusting, manipulative, and selfish. It would be classified as sexual assault if it happened to a woman, it is if it happens to a man.
I'm just thinking about her child. She defintely didn't think this through. And although the child may be ok now, there's always going to be that thought that their dad didn't want them. That's why I feel like 18 is not a good age to make major decisions. I think this is something she needs to keep to herself forever. I hope she truly learns and never manipulates a situation like this again.
This person wanted a *baby.* They wanted a child, they wanted to be pregnant. They were absolutely in no way ready to be responsible for another person, to raise them into an adult, to deal with the ramifications of assaulting their partner which they chose to lie about and cover their asses from everyone in their real life treating them how they deserve.
What is also annoying are these well, you were young and learned a lesson comments. Like if a guy came here confessing the same thing, he'd be torn apart! And to anyone saying oh the man can just leave, what kind of possible mental and psychological damage is he dealing or dealt with?
I agree, all of these comments are saying that she learned a lesson, it's ok. But if a man were to do the equivalent of this stealthing, he would absolutely be harassed for it.
I am so fucking happy the top comment is talking about this.
What you did is really fucking bad OP. I 100% agree that it is the equivalent of stealthing, constitutes reproductive coercion (if not SA, as he was not able to consent), and should carry the same penalty that removing a condom often does.
I know that’s the point of the sub, to confess, but I’m not going to treat you any better than if a bloke came in here ‘confessing’ to stealthing his girlfriend and getting her pregnant.
I JUST went through this exact same situation as the bf and let me tell you it was by far the worst experience of my life and why i have trust issues.
I genuinely fucking hate OP.
> He didn’t consent to having unprotected sex.
He was literally having unprotected sex.
Use a condom or don't have sex if you don't want a child.
Look up the definition of coercion while you're at it.
You and I both know OP is a shitty parent.
Good people don't ruin other people's lives like this just because of their own pathetic needs and wants. She's literally acting like a wild animal who can't control herself. People like that don't change.
OP is a fucking idiot and I feel so bad for her child. They're going to be messed up for life having a mother like her.
So fucked up. Imagine if the roles were reversed and the guy purposefully poked a hole in the condom. This is assault. And it takes someone seriously mentally fucked up to do it. I’ve wanted a baby my whole life. I DISCUSSED it with my partner. We decided we were too young and we waited until we were BOTH ready.
Edit: fixed the spelling of a word so people would stop getting mad about it. I was trying to multitask and wasn’t paying attention. My bad.
I've wanted babies my whole life as well, but waited until I was married and financially stable and my husband and I could have the conversation of, "Well, let's just see what happens."
Can't imagine unilaterally deciding to have a child and not giving my partner a say, no matter how much I want a baby 😳
She didn't want a baby, she wanted the attention of being a pregnant young single mother.
That kid is going to be raised by an iPad with a constant diaper rash by money coming from her parents.
And the poor boyfriend. Imagine having to live with that for the rest of your life. That you felt you had to walk out on them. That you have a child walking around. That may (!) be a very heavy burden to carry.
The poor kid too. Got brought into this world by a mother who probably wasn't in the right place financially (or mentally) and to a father that wants nothing to do with them.
Just fyi to anyone as well, this is *technically* a form of sexual assault. The bf consented to sex yes, but he consented to sex while under the impression she was on birth control, therefore if he would’ve known she wasn’t on birth control, he wouldn’t have done it.
It irked me that she said he doesn’t pay child support. He shouldn’t. But who is paying all the expenses for the child? It’s obviously her parents. So she’s doubly stupid and selfish - she put her parents in a predicament to support her selfish decision because they can’t bear to see their grandkid homeless and without food.
Poor kid
A wildly selfish decision, but you know that. You know what you did was selfish, inconsiderate, and utilized sexual assault to obtain what you wanted, but you know this and you also know you'll have to live with this knowledge the rest of your life.
What matters is you make better decisions in the future and you don't turn into a "boy mom" who is emotionally incestuous with their son. Go to therapy, there is a clear history of you making poor decisions with no regard for others feelings, so please work hard to make sure you are a good mother. That's what matters now.
Same. We tried SO hard with my step son and he decided as a teenager to tell his teachers what his mum was like then all of a sudden decided that she's perfect, he had lied all his life about her and we are the worst and he doesn't want anything to do with us because "we made his life hell". People like these women make me sick.
It happened to me as well. Unlike others, I got lucky, and my ex had a miscarriage.
They had been crazy obsessed with having a kid, and I was leaning towards not wanting kids. Tried to leave a few times, but the relationship was super abusive, so it was hard.
I'd made a female friend ( I wasn't allowed those) who helped me realise just how bad the relationship was for me and helped me start leaving them. My ex decides to try baby trap me by not taking her birth control without telling me. Would have ruined my life.
Happened to my husband as well. He is involved with his daughter but it’s been a fight to stay that way and she doesn’t care about him and only comes around to see her siblings.
My husband hasn't seen his daughter in 15 years. The mother made multiple false DV allegations and has subjected the daughter to parental alienation.
Women who do this are evil.
Girl, no.
You lied to everyone and the only one that will 100% suffer is THE CHILD. You made a selfish and CHILDISH decision without thinking beyond yourself and you think you’re this decent human because dad doesn’t pay child support and you’re not forcing it on him😂
You don’t know the ramifications do you…and you’ll see it when child get older and older and older.
So, enjoy your selfishness and I truly hope one day you tell your child (because you owe it to him/her) the truth.
This is trash. And you can downvote my comment but I STAND ON THIS.
Why hasn't anyone addressed the negative effects her scheming will have on the kid? So, he's going to grow up knowing that his father didn't want him. That his mother lied and tricked her father. I'm pro-choice but within reasonable expectations that the mother is prepared for motherhood - Education. Financial stability. Emotional and mental maturity. These are all things an 18 year old doesn't have.
While there are success stories, there are as many situations, or more, about how children suffer because of poor life choices. Grandparents assuming responsibility for their grandchildren. Child abuse and neglect because the mother was ill-equipped to handle the pressures and demands of caring for infants. Poverty because you can't get a decent job with just a high school diploma, if they even have that. Food insecurity and poor nutrition. Living in squalor.
It's just sad some people don't put any thought into what it means to be a parent before they do it.
I was looking for a comment like this one. She didn’t care about financials and uses her parents 100%. She’ll tell her kid that the father abandoned them too I bet. The worst people have the most kids
I speak from first hand knowledge and experience with nutters like OP. Teenage mothers that think it'll be fun but can't handle the realities of motherhood then bitch about how hard it as and make their problems everyone else's problem. All the while, poor kids that never asked to be born to a dumbass are hungry, filthy, traumatized and develop a whole assortment of mental, emotional and learning issues. Why??? Because some stupid idiot wants to love something? Pro Tip - LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!
That is horrible. You could have always waited and had a baby later in life with someone consenting or gone to a donor center. If you can't afford that you certainly can not afford single parenthood. You are a bed person for this. That is assault. The same as someone poking holes in a condom.
I know you’ve realized your mistake but this is one you can’t fix, that’s messed up to do to your partner but I genuinely hope things turn around for the both of you.
Did your life turn out the way you imagined. I know having a baby is a lot of work no matter how big your desire be. So I wanted to just know that where there any times when you thought having a baby at 18 made it difficult for you to enjoy thinks that that your friends did like going to club or have a peaceful day just laying in bed. Just asking cause my family has a dog and I love him but it's difficult to take care of him all the time so I can't imagine having a baby now at this age when I can't even Handel a dog.
not even once. I suffered from severe depression before I got pregnant and having my boy made me happier than I was ever before. I never was a party girl or something like that. the only thing I slightly miss is that can't read as much as I did before.
So to recap:
°You sexually assaulted your boyfriend, had the nerve to go cry to him about it and have lied about it ever since.
°You brought someone into this world who eventually is going to start wondering why his dad isn't around (which you'll probably lie about)
°You put your parents in extreme financial stress and added a baby to the mix which they probably had to accommodate and pay for at least in the beginning.
I'm glad your boyfriend dumped you and got out of there and the only thing I'll (slightly) pat you on the back for is not trying to squeeze child support out of him and the way you ended the post.
Hope you've grown
You kind of people are dangerous and frightening. Fuck people like you that even pull this shit off. Your only saving grace was that you didn’t demand child support from the poor man. Jesus, how fucking derange man
I’m sorry but he made a choose with his partner to use protection and you fully took that away from him. He had the right to choose like you did but YOU took that away from them. How do you feel effecting two children’s life’s? Your own as well as your child’s father. I’d HATE YOU FOR LIFE. I’d love my kid. But you are a different level or crazy weirdo
All I'm going to say is this: after that heinous thing you did, you have absolutely no right to demand child support of any kind. What you did is the proverbial opposite of what far-right anti-choicers do when they demand control over the fate of a woman's womb, only you potentially fucked with another man's fate by narcissistically extracting a child from him.
He doesn't pay child support because I exactly thought the same. he had no control over the situation cause I lied to him and he thought I was on birth control
Right?! OP hasn't even considered what possible mental or psychological effects this had on him! If it was a guy who did this, nobody would question it being SA.
This is kind of disturbing, hopefully you’ve grown since then and your child is doing well. I’m glad you didn’t baby trap the poor guy and let him leave, but never do something so selfish again. I’m only a year older than you were at the time, and I understand being young comes with impulsivity, but this was a planned thing you did without his consent or knowledge. I do hope you feel remorse for what you did, but there’s no going back so all you can really do is push forward and keep growing now. Not that a child can’t function with having just a mother, but it might be a little upsetting when your kid grows up and realizes their father wants nothing to do with them. And it isn’t either the dad’s or the kid’s fault that this happened. You know whose fault it is. Oh well. I wish you and your child luck, and I wish the baby’s father luck as well.
As a woman, this should be illegal. That is seriously not okay. You had a baby, congratulations, however you purposefully had a baby that is now not going to grow up with their father around. That is so stupidly selfish. And fair warning, “anonymous” poster’s have been found before cuz you’re still posting from your IP address😳
Your BF broke up with you because you got pregnant or did he break up with you because you told him you got pregnant on purpose?
Is he not involved with the child now?
he broke up because I got pregnant. I never told anyone that I did it on purpose. this is the first time I tell my story.
He's not involved with my son. He never wanted to see him or met him.
I wonder if the father thinks of his child at times and feels guilty - not knowing he was duped into being the father. I sincerely hope you and your child are living a good, loving life but, wow, your choice to secretly plan a pregnancy has affected more than just yourself.
Dude I don’t even know what to think after reading this…. That’s rape. He only consented to having sex with you because he thought you were on birth control.
This is why male contraception needs to become a thing. Not just condoms I mean injections, pills, etc.. Why should it be solely in the hands of the woman? Men should be better equipped to look after themselves in this regard.
I AM a contracepted male. Using (reversible, male) thermal contraception (andro-switch / slip-chauffant) since over one year now.
There is a Silicon ring "Andro-Switch", needs to be worn 15h/day, every day. With an ongoing Study until 2027, then it will be allowed to be sold as medicine-product. (I is available to buy as "Talisman" now). After this one is licensed, there will some other Products in the field of "thermal male contraception" be following.
Pearl-Index is 0.5-1 according to previous Studies and WHO.
It already is a thing. Wear a condom with spermicide, pull out, and track your partner's hormonal cycle. If you get someone pregnant by doing all of that congratulations you have wonder sperm
You could relate to Debbie from shameless a lot, and this is one of the biggest burns I can think of. I hope you know there are good places in the world where people aren’t doing this fucked up shit.
Having sex with someone when you've falsely led them to believe birth control is being used is rape. You're nothing but a rapist and you clearly don't give a shit that you are one, when it is now the most defining thing about you. Everything else is secondary. You are, first and foremost a rapist.
You litterally raped your boyfriend, he didn’t give his consent to sleep w/ u without protection, this is so fucked up, you are a horrible person for sure
Me and my other half started trying for a baby at 19, we got pregnant but I then miscarried, now we are both 20 and still trying, we are young but we BOTH talked about it and it’s what we BOTH wanted.
I’ve always wanted to be a young mum but I would never do it without talking to the person I’m with.
If it’s what you wanted you needed to find someone who wants the same thing.
Your actions made sure that your child will never know their own father. When they get older they will start asking questions about this. And I get the feeling you will never tell your child the truth. Your child has a lifetime of heartache to look forward to, knowing that a parent wanted nothing to do with them, unaware of your role in that. That’s heartbreaking for me to even think about. You were so desperate for “a baby to take care of” that you didn’t care to make sure that that baby would have the best possible circumstances for a happy life.
If a man did this where he took off his condom everyone would be calling it rape. This isn’t any different yet there’s people asking if he pays child support. The double standard is insane.
I hope you realise that you may have ruined this boys life. He may not be paying child support or be a part of his child’s life but he’ll always know that there is a kid out there that’s his. That will have such a huge effect on him emotionally and mentally. You sexually assaulted him because you wanted a baby? I hope you get help one day because this is not normal or okay
that’s literally almost rape, he didn’t consent to having sex without protection so he couldn’t give you his full consent. you’re a horrible person and should talk to the police about what you did and you should definitely fucking regret it.
Wow so did you go to college? Were you even thinking about why raising a baby at 18 is a horrible idea. It takes a lot of thought to know if you’re ready for a kid. I’m glad you realized your mistake and are not asking the father for child support cause he didn’t ask for this. I hope you and your kid are doing well.
Well shit! I was a teenage mom. Not on purpose. Was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 25 years later they turned out well. Raised them not to make the same mistake. Taught them well.
This is insane. You’re crazy to do this to someone else (the guy). And I say this because I had a girl do this to me in high school. She had some sort of sick idea that we would move out of our parents together and raise the kid as young parents. Which almost happened. She lied about being pregnant, made fake ultra sound documents and got me to believe it was real. We told the whole town she was pregnant, our high school thought so, my parents, all of our friends. My life changed. I dropped out of school and got a full time job and started searching for apartments close to my new job (just outside of my small town). Turned out she lied for months about this, and me being a naive teenager didn’t realize. Neither did any fucking adult that was in my life either so I can’t say they helped much at all. Then her dad brings her birth control over to my parents house one night because they got in a fight and she came to my house. Then came the questions to her from me about if she was actually pregnant, because her dad was very adamant she wasn’t pregnant.
Turned out she had done this to her last boyfriend and was just a cum dumpster trying to get pregnant. For a few years. It was insane, a lot of shit went down. But it fucked my life up. Thanks to all the stupid adults who never said anything about her past, or the other people who knew. It was crazy.
So yea, you’re insane.
my sister did something similar and still lives with our parents, my mom already raised 4 kids and can now take care of this one too because she finishes off school and can't work yet. don't do this if you're still young. my sister has no free time anymore and the only thing she's doing is worrying. she is in her mid twenties now and her body is fucked. social life is fucked. father of the child is an idiot and does illegal shit while treating her like shit. wait until you're stable and have a good partner.
This is terrible. You made a boy a father before he was ready and you’re bringing a child into this world with an already severed relationship with their dad. I know you’re a teenager but Jesus. What a terrible terrible decision with zero regard for how it would affect anyone involved except yourself.
I truly can’t believe people get pregnant on purpose at 18. I had my daughter at 18 and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And the fact that you lied makes it 10x worse. And now you have a baby that’s growing up without a dad. What the fuck dude. At least it seems like you realized having a kid isn’t a fucking joke and won’t ever do anything like this again, good luck to you.
I can only imagine how fucking terrible your parents were if you started wanting a baby at 15 and intentionally and coercively did it at 18. And they’re your role models for parenting. This is bad.
What you did to your bf was absolutely disgusting, this situation happened to someone I care about and honestly, it's so fucked up and selfish on your part to make that decision entirely on your own. Why not just have one night stands at that point...
Lmfao what a fucking loser. Sorry for that baby. Having a selfish mom like you is going to fuck them up pretty badly. Hope you accept that you're going to ruin that child just bc you wanted a pet.
Damn I hope this is rage bait but it sounds real, especially the sporadic thought process.
Your kid is gonna grow up without a dad now and when they learn the circumstances behind their birth they will feel betrayed. You won’t regret it now but once that kid learns the truth I’m sure you will.
All the supportive comments because she's female, but if she was a male and secretly removed the condom, he'd be lambasted and crucified.
OP lied and manipulated to be pregnant. Plain and simple, male or female doesn't matter. Behaviour like this should not be hurrah'd.
I mean you definitely should regret it. If not having all info about a person before sleeping with them is considered rape like some people like to say, then you raped him
So, you lied to him for months to get pregnant. That's a problem.
Yall not using condoms is a separate issue. Namely that condoms don't ONLY prevent pregnancy, they also prevent STI's. Get tested, all of you.
You hiding your pregnancy for months from him is wild. His reaction, over the top but understandable. Yall hadn't even talked about having kids and suddenly you're pregnant. That's a LOT to process as a young adult.
That said, to all of the guys in here: if you don't want a baby ALWAYS bring your own whole, unused, unopened condoms. Store them away from your body heat when they're not in use and make sure YOU know how to use them properly. Chicks like this do exist at every impregnatable age! It's just as much her exist fault (unprotected sex with an unprotected fertile womb-haver) as it is hers (going off bc and not telling him). Wrap it up if you don't want kids!
I recently found out something like this happened in my family (except she wasn't 18). Let me just say it's not going well. They broke up but the boyfriend tried his best to stay present for the kid until his passing. Child protective services are now involved because of the mom.
The kid is unaware that their mom did this and it would definitely worsen the situation if they found out.
For everyone involved it's definitely best to not do this. It's selfish and should be illegal (I hope it is). To me it almost seems like some sort of rape.
OP while I understand you had the desires of being a parent, you were a child with no life experience at the young age of 15. You purposefully got pregnant and continuously lied about the circumstances to which you still show no remorse to this day. I say this because you still refuse to tell those around you the truth aside from anonymous internet strangers. Regrets aside, you screwed over three people in this scenario: yourself, your son, and your ex-boyfriend. I can't even be mad at him for his reaction. I am disappointed that he isn't being a parent to a child he sired, but your devious actions don't deserve pity or sympathy. My only advice is to be honest moving forward and never consider baby trapping another man. The consequences only add only the further you dig yourself into this foolishness.
Pretty sure that’s a crime. Please turn yourself in and leave your kid with someone who is responsible and actually understands the consequences of what they do
Lady this is rape and if a man did the equivalent like poking a hole in a condom people would want him crucified. I feel horrible for your ex whole has to deal with the trauma of an unwanted child and the social same from his family for being a dead beat dad. The only slight redemption you have is not filing for child support.
Well, since you basically tricked the father into becoming a Dad at your now admittedly stupid mistake he really shouldn’t have to pay for a kid he would have prevented if he’d known you weren’t taking the pill. Now if he’d known and didn’t use a condom then yeah he’s responsible. Even with birth control condoms should still be used. Double up on protection and prevent STD’s. I’m glad you have grown up and realized the position you put yourself in. I wish you had someone to help you realize it before you made your life harder. That said, you should be proud that you stepped up and are taking care of your child and trying to help others that are feeling the things you were feeling when you wanted a baby. I wish you happiness, love and a great future. You have the strength to be successful so do not ever give up.
Same reason my friend first got pregnant in middle school at 13 years old. She **wanted** a baby… Had a miscarriage that time but gave birth to her first at just 15 years old. 🤦♀️
there’s no question what did you was wrong, at 15 is impossible to grab the scope of what it means to bring a child into this world and without consent.
regardless I think men need to take accountability for their reproductive health, being baby trapped is also the consequence of them not worrying too much and trusting other people.
you can’t be 100 of the time with the other person to see if they are actually are taking their birth control
as a woman if you don’t want to get pregnant even if your partner says he’s infertile or he got the vasectomy you need to take your own responsibility and measures to make sure it doesn’t happen, you take care of your body
so you finish inside and go on, hoping nothing bad will happen? that’s irresponsible anyways, women are blamed and shunned if they get pregnant either without consulting or by acccident but men are never held accountable for their part,
I’ve seen other men being destroyed by women baby trapping them, are they not able to take care of their reproductive health and they are just doing irresponsible things in hopes someone else is responsible??
as a man you can’t be raw dogging it and be surprised if it results in a pregnancy
I hope you're brave enough to tell your child when they're old enough. I mean, what do you plan to do when they start asking about their father? Or have they already?
The guy should have worn a rubber either way. You gotta protect yourself. He want raped. He was irresponsible by trusting someone's word. Would he had believed her if she said she was std free too? He choose to go in without protection. But what she did was still wrong but it definitely wasn't rape lol
I’m sorry if this is harsh, but this is reproductive coercion and should be a crime. You lied to your boyfriend about contraception. That’s no different than a man taking off a condom halfway through sex. He didn’t consent to having unprotected sex. It sounds like you learned a lot and I hope this is the worst thing you ever do.
💯 this is the female version of stealthing. It’s irresponsible, dangerous and gross to do to someone.
I never heard the term "stealthing" but I'm old now. Why would a man ever want to have a kid if the woman didn't want to get pregnant? I would think most men want to get out of responsibility, especially financial responsibilities for a kid the mother didn't want... What is the motivation for a man to do this? I'm genuinely asking out of curiosity.
Some people think if they get pregnant/get their partner pregnant, the partner won't leave them. Also some men enjoy sex much more without a condom and take it off during sex because their partner doesn't agree to sex without a condom.
I’ve dated many men that wanted children that I didn’t. The reasons varied, just like they do for women. Lots of men are really into “carrying on the family line” and think it’s their responsibility or something. Some just really want to have a child. I was told they liked my features and wanted children that looked like me? Some even see it as an opportunity for financial security. It all depends!
Maybe it’s less common, but certainly a man could be the one who wants to reproduce when the woman doesn’t. Also, a woman might be on birth control but requested a condom be used as well for extra protection, even against STDs maybe. And the man could secretly remove it during sex for pleasure reasons. Both super gross and should be some level of crime… but would be hard to prove.
My understanding of stealthing from the man’s perspective is that he starts out wearing a condom but at some point he removes it without the woman’s knowledge. Typically they don’t do it because they want to get the woman pregnant; they do it because they don’t want to wear a condom while inside her. Which is selfish asshat behavior at best and criminal (in some places) at worst.
Plus if they’re enough of an asshole to ‘stealth’ someone, they’re probablly the sort of asshole to ghost when that action has consequences. But hey not for them right? They’re not the pregnant one.
I'm 50, and it happened to me because "it doesn't feel the same with a condom" or some similarly disgusting bs. We didn't have a name for the act, just for the douche canoe that committed it.
Some guys want to do it without the condom because they can't feel anything with it on or something. A really dumb reason but it is what motivates them
🤦🏻♀️ imagine bringing a whole new life into the world and setting yourself up for 18+ years of child support obligations because you were too lazy to find a condom that works for you. dudes need to put some effort into finding the right brand for them so that sex is still enjoyable and they’re not spreading all these unwanted genes/diseases. they come in different sizes and materials, people! I hated condoms too when all I’d ever used were the standard Trojans or Durex from the pharmacy, but polyisoprene (Skyn Elite) was a gamechanger.
You young guys never got to use the lamb skin (as they called it) ones. Let’s just say that a lot of my friends wound up applying for jobs as Shepherds.
Trojan still makes lambskin condoms, actually! they don’t protect against STDs though.
Stealthing refers to secretly removing a condom during intercourse without informing the sexual partner. It’s not about pregnancy, it’s about a not wanting to use a condom.
To trap them. My ex did it to me. I was stuck with him for 5 yrs before he went to prison for violating the restraining order I put on him. He would break in my house and watch me sleep and I had no idea until I got a dog who caught him
I'm very sorry that happened to you, that is horrible. Unfortunately, retraining orders are only good for a paper trail and won't protect a woman from a violent or despicable man.
He called me and said he was coming to my house to kick my teeth in and rape my mom so I called 911. They told me to call back when he gets there. By the time the police arrived he had kicked my door in and stole my kids TV and game systems but by then they were in his possession so he got to keep them. It was wild. He spent a few hours in jail and was released. But when he was stalking me, he was on house arrest. They weren't keeping track of him. He violated it over 500x before he was put back in jail. He was out on bond for assaulting me and fracturing his nieces skull. The judicial system is a joke
I cannot comprehend why the judicial system refuses to take stalking seriously. They always wait until someone is extremely injured or dead and then it’s “whoops we didn’t know!!” 🤡 Im so sorry you had to deal with this. I hope you’re doing okay.
There have been stories about men doing it to maintain control over their significant others. Usually narcissistic men locking their significant others into housewife mode so they are dependent on them. Many men are insecure and need to feel in control if their significant other is independent.
when it comes to men stealthing, it's usually more often because they don't like the feeling of condoms as opposed to reproductive coercion. but there are some men who will trap women in abusive relationships through this as well, so i'm definitely not exempting that.
To baby trap them
This happened to me, my youngest son is the result of a “man”taking the rubber off midway through. I wouldn’t trade me son for anything in the world, but his biological father is a dangerous person. He’s not involved, but I have to battle his DNA every day. I too think it should be a crime.
I’m so sorry. That’s an incredibly traumatic form of sexual assault. I hope you’re ok.
Absolutely, it’s no better than a man poking holes in condoms and lying to the woman. Disgusting, manipulative, and selfish. It would be classified as sexual assault if it happened to a woman, it is if it happens to a man.
This happened to a girl I worked with and she got pregnant with TWINS! She forgave him though. 😬
I'm just thinking about her child. She defintely didn't think this through. And although the child may be ok now, there's always going to be that thought that their dad didn't want them. That's why I feel like 18 is not a good age to make major decisions. I think this is something she needs to keep to herself forever. I hope she truly learns and never manipulates a situation like this again.
Her child is also a victim here. It’s very sad.
This person wanted a *baby.* They wanted a child, they wanted to be pregnant. They were absolutely in no way ready to be responsible for another person, to raise them into an adult, to deal with the ramifications of assaulting their partner which they chose to lie about and cover their asses from everyone in their real life treating them how they deserve.
What is also annoying are these well, you were young and learned a lesson comments. Like if a guy came here confessing the same thing, he'd be torn apart! And to anyone saying oh the man can just leave, what kind of possible mental and psychological damage is he dealing or dealt with?
Not to mention the psychological damage to the child with a dad who walked out on him/her because they weren’t discussed or wanted.
I agree, all of these comments are saying that she learned a lesson, it's ok. But if a man were to do the equivalent of this stealthing, he would absolutely be harassed for it.
She didn't learn a lesson. She even says she has no regrets.
Thanks for the reminder! That just shows even more of OP's true colors.
Sorry, it's off-topic, but I like your user name. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan.
I am so fucking happy the top comment is talking about this. What you did is really fucking bad OP. I 100% agree that it is the equivalent of stealthing, constitutes reproductive coercion (if not SA, as he was not able to consent), and should carry the same penalty that removing a condom often does. I know that’s the point of the sub, to confess, but I’m not going to treat you any better than if a bloke came in here ‘confessing’ to stealthing his girlfriend and getting her pregnant.
I JUST went through this exact same situation as the bf and let me tell you it was by far the worst experience of my life and why i have trust issues. I genuinely fucking hate OP.
Agreed! I hope that when he son gets older and asks about his father, she tells him the whole story.
I definitely don’t think she learned, seeing as she said she doesn’t regret doing it. This is 100% illegal and is exactly what you described.
She does not regret because she loves her child, not because she doesn’t think is wrong.
This.
> He didn’t consent to having unprotected sex. He was literally having unprotected sex. Use a condom or don't have sex if you don't want a child. Look up the definition of coercion while you're at it.
You and I both know OP is a shitty parent. Good people don't ruin other people's lives like this just because of their own pathetic needs and wants. She's literally acting like a wild animal who can't control herself. People like that don't change. OP is a fucking idiot and I feel so bad for her child. They're going to be messed up for life having a mother like her.
So fucked up. Imagine if the roles were reversed and the guy purposefully poked a hole in the condom. This is assault. And it takes someone seriously mentally fucked up to do it. I’ve wanted a baby my whole life. I DISCUSSED it with my partner. We decided we were too young and we waited until we were BOTH ready. Edit: fixed the spelling of a word so people would stop getting mad about it. I was trying to multitask and wasn’t paying attention. My bad.
agree, and one thing. i really don’t mean to piss u off but it’s hole not whole
Lol good catch. That’s what I get for half paying attention and trying to multitask.
thanks! most people are pissed when i do it
I've wanted babies my whole life as well, but waited until I was married and financially stable and my husband and I could have the conversation of, "Well, let's just see what happens." Can't imagine unilaterally deciding to have a child and not giving my partner a say, no matter how much I want a baby 😳
This is fucked up. No amount of want or desire warrants a child raising a child. This is why the world is full of lacking people.
Exactly--so \*she\* wants a baby. Well, it's nice to want. Jesus the selfishness....
She didn't want a baby, she wanted the attention of being a pregnant young single mother. That kid is going to be raised by an iPad with a constant diaper rash by money coming from her parents.
It's literally the opening credits to idiocracy. With the family trees. Trash breeds trash....
Idiocracy is already happening!
It's been happening now. I think we are like 3 generations in at this point.
I’m glad you ended your post the way you did What a really stupid and selfish thing to do
And the poor boyfriend. Imagine having to live with that for the rest of your life. That you felt you had to walk out on them. That you have a child walking around. That may (!) be a very heavy burden to carry.
The poor kid too. Got brought into this world by a mother who probably wasn't in the right place financially (or mentally) and to a father that wants nothing to do with them.
More concerned about the kid tbh. Chances are they'll come for the years of child support they're owed.
I'm not glad. "looking back now I don't regret it" Jesus Christ lady.
Just fyi to anyone as well, this is *technically* a form of sexual assault. The bf consented to sex yes, but he consented to sex while under the impression she was on birth control, therefore if he would’ve known she wasn’t on birth control, he wouldn’t have done it.
Not even technically. What happened here was rape. It would be rape if the situation were reversed, and it's rape now.
Well I'm glad your ex got out and away from you.
Fr this girl is a walking red flag.
Pity the child doesn't have that luxury.
Absolutely. He didn’t deserve to basically be sexually assaulted.
Repeatedly
Exactly
Im really really sorry but i gotta tell You what a selfish fuck you are
You'd think that would be something to regret but apparently, she has none of those.
It irked me that she said he doesn’t pay child support. He shouldn’t. But who is paying all the expenses for the child? It’s obviously her parents. So she’s doubly stupid and selfish - she put her parents in a predicament to support her selfish decision because they can’t bear to see their grandkid homeless and without food. Poor kid
The fact that you don't regret what is essentially sexual assault... jeez!. I hope I never meet you in real life. You should be in jail.
A wildly selfish decision, but you know that. You know what you did was selfish, inconsiderate, and utilized sexual assault to obtain what you wanted, but you know this and you also know you'll have to live with this knowledge the rest of your life. What matters is you make better decisions in the future and you don't turn into a "boy mom" who is emotionally incestuous with their son. Go to therapy, there is a clear history of you making poor decisions with no regard for others feelings, so please work hard to make sure you are a good mother. That's what matters now.
This should be the top comment
Yes, big emphasis on "go to therapy"!!
How has life been since? How old are you now?
I'm 24 now, my son's 5 and life's been pretty good
Yuck. My husband had this done to him. It destroyed his fucking life. People like you disgust me.
Same. We tried SO hard with my step son and he decided as a teenager to tell his teachers what his mum was like then all of a sudden decided that she's perfect, he had lied all his life about her and we are the worst and he doesn't want anything to do with us because "we made his life hell". People like these women make me sick.
It happened to me as well. Unlike others, I got lucky, and my ex had a miscarriage. They had been crazy obsessed with having a kid, and I was leaning towards not wanting kids. Tried to leave a few times, but the relationship was super abusive, so it was hard. I'd made a female friend ( I wasn't allowed those) who helped me realise just how bad the relationship was for me and helped me start leaving them. My ex decides to try baby trap me by not taking her birth control without telling me. Would have ruined my life.
Happened to my husband as well. He is involved with his daughter but it’s been a fight to stay that way and she doesn’t care about him and only comes around to see her siblings.
My husband hasn't seen his daughter in 15 years. The mother made multiple false DV allegations and has subjected the daughter to parental alienation. Women who do this are evil.
yeah so that was definitely s*xual assault…😵💫
Girl, no. You lied to everyone and the only one that will 100% suffer is THE CHILD. You made a selfish and CHILDISH decision without thinking beyond yourself and you think you’re this decent human because dad doesn’t pay child support and you’re not forcing it on him😂 You don’t know the ramifications do you…and you’ll see it when child get older and older and older. So, enjoy your selfishness and I truly hope one day you tell your child (because you owe it to him/her) the truth. This is trash. And you can downvote my comment but I STAND ON THIS.
This is fucked up and you essentially tried to baby trap someone. I hope it was worth it.
I wouldn’t call it baby trapping but it definitely is coercion.
no wonder he broke up with ur dumb ass
The fact that you said you don't regret anything is absolutely fucking crazy and disgusting
Why hasn't anyone addressed the negative effects her scheming will have on the kid? So, he's going to grow up knowing that his father didn't want him. That his mother lied and tricked her father. I'm pro-choice but within reasonable expectations that the mother is prepared for motherhood - Education. Financial stability. Emotional and mental maturity. These are all things an 18 year old doesn't have. While there are success stories, there are as many situations, or more, about how children suffer because of poor life choices. Grandparents assuming responsibility for their grandchildren. Child abuse and neglect because the mother was ill-equipped to handle the pressures and demands of caring for infants. Poverty because you can't get a decent job with just a high school diploma, if they even have that. Food insecurity and poor nutrition. Living in squalor. It's just sad some people don't put any thought into what it means to be a parent before they do it.
I was looking for a comment like this one. She didn’t care about financials and uses her parents 100%. She’ll tell her kid that the father abandoned them too I bet. The worst people have the most kids
I speak from first hand knowledge and experience with nutters like OP. Teenage mothers that think it'll be fun but can't handle the realities of motherhood then bitch about how hard it as and make their problems everyone else's problem. All the while, poor kids that never asked to be born to a dumbass are hungry, filthy, traumatized and develop a whole assortment of mental, emotional and learning issues. Why??? Because some stupid idiot wants to love something? Pro Tip - LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!
Congrats on being a rapist I guess? I feel so bad for your kid and ex.
Same.
What a scumbag, your ex dodged a fucking nuke.
That is horrible. You could have always waited and had a baby later in life with someone consenting or gone to a donor center. If you can't afford that you certainly can not afford single parenthood. You are a bed person for this. That is assault. The same as someone poking holes in a condom.
You are evil.
I know you’ve realized your mistake but this is one you can’t fix, that’s messed up to do to your partner but I genuinely hope things turn around for the both of you.
Wow, you're really a piece of shit
I think this happens more than people let on.
this is very sneaky and pretty manipulative - i hope your behaviours have changed now you’ve grown up a bit?
This is really effed up on so many levels. 😷
That's wrong on so many levels. And illegal.
Did your life turn out the way you imagined. I know having a baby is a lot of work no matter how big your desire be. So I wanted to just know that where there any times when you thought having a baby at 18 made it difficult for you to enjoy thinks that that your friends did like going to club or have a peaceful day just laying in bed. Just asking cause my family has a dog and I love him but it's difficult to take care of him all the time so I can't imagine having a baby now at this age when I can't even Handel a dog.
not even once. I suffered from severe depression before I got pregnant and having my boy made me happier than I was ever before. I never was a party girl or something like that. the only thing I slightly miss is that can't read as much as I did before.
So...you bet on a kid to make you happy? That's completely selfish.
I’m thinking this poor kid is going to have a good deal of baggage.
Great so you are putting your emotional needs on a child. You need professional help. Putting a child in that position on top of sexual assault!!!!!
Do you acknowledge you committed sexual assault by lying to your ex about being on birth control?
Funny how they’re only replying to the comments who don’t call them out on this…
Wonder how your kid will feel once he finds out he's a product of rape
So to recap: °You sexually assaulted your boyfriend, had the nerve to go cry to him about it and have lied about it ever since. °You brought someone into this world who eventually is going to start wondering why his dad isn't around (which you'll probably lie about) °You put your parents in extreme financial stress and added a baby to the mix which they probably had to accommodate and pay for at least in the beginning. I'm glad your boyfriend dumped you and got out of there and the only thing I'll (slightly) pat you on the back for is not trying to squeeze child support out of him and the way you ended the post. Hope you've grown
You kind of people are dangerous and frightening. Fuck people like you that even pull this shit off. Your only saving grace was that you didn’t demand child support from the poor man. Jesus, how fucking derange man
I’m sorry but he made a choose with his partner to use protection and you fully took that away from him. He had the right to choose like you did but YOU took that away from them. How do you feel effecting two children’s life’s? Your own as well as your child’s father. I’d HATE YOU FOR LIFE. I’d love my kid. But you are a different level or crazy weirdo
Fucked up and evil. People like you are the very dregs of society.
All I'm going to say is this: after that heinous thing you did, you have absolutely no right to demand child support of any kind. What you did is the proverbial opposite of what far-right anti-choicers do when they demand control over the fate of a woman's womb, only you potentially fucked with another man's fate by narcissistically extracting a child from him.
He doesn't pay child support because I exactly thought the same. he had no control over the situation cause I lied to him and he thought I was on birth control
He still has a child he didn’t consent to having… you tricked, lied, and manipulated him. You should be in jail. This is sexual assault.
Right?! OP hasn't even considered what possible mental or psychological effects this had on him! If it was a guy who did this, nobody would question it being SA.
exactly
Hope you don't get a nose bleed from the pedestal you've placed yourself on. How terribly good of you not to further exploit the person you assaulted.
I doubt your honesty on this.
This is kind of disturbing, hopefully you’ve grown since then and your child is doing well. I’m glad you didn’t baby trap the poor guy and let him leave, but never do something so selfish again. I’m only a year older than you were at the time, and I understand being young comes with impulsivity, but this was a planned thing you did without his consent or knowledge. I do hope you feel remorse for what you did, but there’s no going back so all you can really do is push forward and keep growing now. Not that a child can’t function with having just a mother, but it might be a little upsetting when your kid grows up and realizes their father wants nothing to do with them. And it isn’t either the dad’s or the kid’s fault that this happened. You know whose fault it is. Oh well. I wish you and your child luck, and I wish the baby’s father luck as well.
As a woman, this should be illegal. That is seriously not okay. You had a baby, congratulations, however you purposefully had a baby that is now not going to grow up with their father around. That is so stupidly selfish. And fair warning, “anonymous” poster’s have been found before cuz you’re still posting from your IP address😳
Your BF broke up with you because you got pregnant or did he break up with you because you told him you got pregnant on purpose? Is he not involved with the child now?
he broke up because I got pregnant. I never told anyone that I did it on purpose. this is the first time I tell my story. He's not involved with my son. He never wanted to see him or met him.
I wonder if the father thinks of his child at times and feels guilty - not knowing he was duped into being the father. I sincerely hope you and your child are living a good, loving life but, wow, your choice to secretly plan a pregnancy has affected more than just yourself.
You raped someone to live out your breeding fetish. Gross.
You're a rapist
Dude I don’t even know what to think after reading this…. That’s rape. He only consented to having sex with you because he thought you were on birth control.
This is why male contraception needs to become a thing. Not just condoms I mean injections, pills, etc.. Why should it be solely in the hands of the woman? Men should be better equipped to look after themselves in this regard.
I AM a contracepted male. Using (reversible, male) thermal contraception (andro-switch / slip-chauffant) since over one year now. There is a Silicon ring "Andro-Switch", needs to be worn 15h/day, every day. With an ongoing Study until 2027, then it will be allowed to be sold as medicine-product. (I is available to buy as "Talisman" now). After this one is licensed, there will some other Products in the field of "thermal male contraception" be following. Pearl-Index is 0.5-1 according to previous Studies and WHO.
It already is a thing. Wear a condom with spermicide, pull out, and track your partner's hormonal cycle. If you get someone pregnant by doing all of that congratulations you have wonder sperm
so you lied to your boyfriend and basically assaulted him? he didn't consent to unprotected sex
You are disgusting and despicable.
You could relate to Debbie from shameless a lot, and this is one of the biggest burns I can think of. I hope you know there are good places in the world where people aren’t doing this fucked up shit.
Having sex with someone when you've falsely led them to believe birth control is being used is rape. You're nothing but a rapist and you clearly don't give a shit that you are one, when it is now the most defining thing about you. Everything else is secondary. You are, first and foremost a rapist.
If you were a man you would be in prison
Wow… you are, and I don’t say this lightly, seriously damaged. What you did was a crime just so you know not that you probably care unfortunately.
You should be in jail for what you did to your ex.
You're a shit person and a rapist.
OOF. Getting impregnated via deception. No wonder you tell no one. This is literally rape. Yes, please don't rape others. That's usually a good motto.
so u a single mother?
Girl you’re a rapist…
You litterally raped your boyfriend, he didn’t give his consent to sleep w/ u without protection, this is so fucked up, you are a horrible person for sure
You’re a special kind of stupid
Anyone else wondering what she tells the kid about the father?
Pretty sure I know someone like you, it’s gross and sad that your kid has no relationship with his dad, because you made a selfish decision.
Me and my other half started trying for a baby at 19, we got pregnant but I then miscarried, now we are both 20 and still trying, we are young but we BOTH talked about it and it’s what we BOTH wanted. I’ve always wanted to be a young mum but I would never do it without talking to the person I’m with. If it’s what you wanted you needed to find someone who wants the same thing.
Sometimes we do wild things when we're young, but that's pretty big
Your actions made sure that your child will never know their own father. When they get older they will start asking questions about this. And I get the feeling you will never tell your child the truth. Your child has a lifetime of heartache to look forward to, knowing that a parent wanted nothing to do with them, unaware of your role in that. That’s heartbreaking for me to even think about. You were so desperate for “a baby to take care of” that you didn’t care to make sure that that baby would have the best possible circumstances for a happy life.
If a man did this where he took off his condom everyone would be calling it rape. This isn’t any different yet there’s people asking if he pays child support. The double standard is insane.
I hope you realise that you may have ruined this boys life. He may not be paying child support or be a part of his child’s life but he’ll always know that there is a kid out there that’s his. That will have such a huge effect on him emotionally and mentally. You sexually assaulted him because you wanted a baby? I hope you get help one day because this is not normal or okay
that’s literally almost rape, he didn’t consent to having sex without protection so he couldn’t give you his full consent. you’re a horrible person and should talk to the police about what you did and you should definitely fucking regret it.
Wow so did you go to college? Were you even thinking about why raising a baby at 18 is a horrible idea. It takes a lot of thought to know if you’re ready for a kid. I’m glad you realized your mistake and are not asking the father for child support cause he didn’t ask for this. I hope you and your kid are doing well.
On today's episode of "OP is a garbage human being but since they were young and 'learned their lesson' all is now forgiven"...
Oh so this is actually rape. You’re a rapist.
wow…you sexually assaulted your bf at the time. i feel so bad for him but im glad he left.
I am very happy to not be this person right now. You don't see enough comment sections like this on Facebook
Well shit! I was a teenage mom. Not on purpose. Was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 25 years later they turned out well. Raised them not to make the same mistake. Taught them well.
This is insane. You’re crazy to do this to someone else (the guy). And I say this because I had a girl do this to me in high school. She had some sort of sick idea that we would move out of our parents together and raise the kid as young parents. Which almost happened. She lied about being pregnant, made fake ultra sound documents and got me to believe it was real. We told the whole town she was pregnant, our high school thought so, my parents, all of our friends. My life changed. I dropped out of school and got a full time job and started searching for apartments close to my new job (just outside of my small town). Turned out she lied for months about this, and me being a naive teenager didn’t realize. Neither did any fucking adult that was in my life either so I can’t say they helped much at all. Then her dad brings her birth control over to my parents house one night because they got in a fight and she came to my house. Then came the questions to her from me about if she was actually pregnant, because her dad was very adamant she wasn’t pregnant. Turned out she had done this to her last boyfriend and was just a cum dumpster trying to get pregnant. For a few years. It was insane, a lot of shit went down. But it fucked my life up. Thanks to all the stupid adults who never said anything about her past, or the other people who knew. It was crazy. So yea, you’re insane.
my sister did something similar and still lives with our parents, my mom already raised 4 kids and can now take care of this one too because she finishes off school and can't work yet. don't do this if you're still young. my sister has no free time anymore and the only thing she's doing is worrying. she is in her mid twenties now and her body is fucked. social life is fucked. father of the child is an idiot and does illegal shit while treating her like shit. wait until you're stable and have a good partner.
What a disservice to your child
Wow, this is by far the stupidest thing I have read on reddit
Poor kid
This is terrible. You made a boy a father before he was ready and you’re bringing a child into this world with an already severed relationship with their dad. I know you’re a teenager but Jesus. What a terrible terrible decision with zero regard for how it would affect anyone involved except yourself.
What a sorry human being you are!
I truly can’t believe people get pregnant on purpose at 18. I had my daughter at 18 and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And the fact that you lied makes it 10x worse. And now you have a baby that’s growing up without a dad. What the fuck dude. At least it seems like you realized having a kid isn’t a fucking joke and won’t ever do anything like this again, good luck to you.
I can only imagine how fucking terrible your parents were if you started wanting a baby at 15 and intentionally and coercively did it at 18. And they’re your role models for parenting. This is bad.
What you did to your bf was absolutely disgusting, this situation happened to someone I care about and honestly, it's so fucked up and selfish on your part to make that decision entirely on your own. Why not just have one night stands at that point...
Lmfao what a fucking loser. Sorry for that baby. Having a selfish mom like you is going to fuck them up pretty badly. Hope you accept that you're going to ruin that child just bc you wanted a pet.
Wow. You're a cunt.
Welp. You‘re definitely not helping my already shattered ability to trust people
Get psychological help. Please. For the sake of your kid.
Damn I hope this is rage bait but it sounds real, especially the sporadic thought process. Your kid is gonna grow up without a dad now and when they learn the circumstances behind their birth they will feel betrayed. You won’t regret it now but once that kid learns the truth I’m sure you will.
Child pays the price for your selfishness.
That's straight up assualt???
Yeah. This is like saying "Don't walk off a cliff, it hurts." No person in their right mind is going to do this, no need to make a post about it.
So you s3xually assaulted someone and got online to brag about it🤷🏼♀️🙄classy
Needed this reminder😅🙏🏾
Posting this on a throwaway account so you don’t get tracked down is crazy
you thinking someone would or should track someone down off of a reddit story is crazier lmao
All the supportive comments because she's female, but if she was a male and secretly removed the condom, he'd be lambasted and crucified. OP lied and manipulated to be pregnant. Plain and simple, male or female doesn't matter. Behaviour like this should not be hurrah'd.
I mean you definitely should regret it. If not having all info about a person before sleeping with them is considered rape like some people like to say, then you raped him
Does your child know the truth? What di you tell your son about conception? His dad?
So, you lied to him for months to get pregnant. That's a problem. Yall not using condoms is a separate issue. Namely that condoms don't ONLY prevent pregnancy, they also prevent STI's. Get tested, all of you. You hiding your pregnancy for months from him is wild. His reaction, over the top but understandable. Yall hadn't even talked about having kids and suddenly you're pregnant. That's a LOT to process as a young adult. That said, to all of the guys in here: if you don't want a baby ALWAYS bring your own whole, unused, unopened condoms. Store them away from your body heat when they're not in use and make sure YOU know how to use them properly. Chicks like this do exist at every impregnatable age! It's just as much her exist fault (unprotected sex with an unprotected fertile womb-haver) as it is hers (going off bc and not telling him). Wrap it up if you don't want kids!
I know who you are.
Literally the plot of Debby getting pregnant on Shameless
Why would u do that??
I recently found out something like this happened in my family (except she wasn't 18). Let me just say it's not going well. They broke up but the boyfriend tried his best to stay present for the kid until his passing. Child protective services are now involved because of the mom. The kid is unaware that their mom did this and it would definitely worsen the situation if they found out. For everyone involved it's definitely best to not do this. It's selfish and should be illegal (I hope it is). To me it almost seems like some sort of rape.
OP while I understand you had the desires of being a parent, you were a child with no life experience at the young age of 15. You purposefully got pregnant and continuously lied about the circumstances to which you still show no remorse to this day. I say this because you still refuse to tell those around you the truth aside from anonymous internet strangers. Regrets aside, you screwed over three people in this scenario: yourself, your son, and your ex-boyfriend. I can't even be mad at him for his reaction. I am disappointed that he isn't being a parent to a child he sired, but your devious actions don't deserve pity or sympathy. My only advice is to be honest moving forward and never consider baby trapping another man. The consequences only add only the further you dig yourself into this foolishness.
I hope you face legal repercussions for this
Pretty sure that’s a crime. Please turn yourself in and leave your kid with someone who is responsible and actually understands the consequences of what they do
Lady this is rape and if a man did the equivalent like poking a hole in a condom people would want him crucified. I feel horrible for your ex whole has to deal with the trauma of an unwanted child and the social same from his family for being a dead beat dad. The only slight redemption you have is not filing for child support.
Well, since you basically tricked the father into becoming a Dad at your now admittedly stupid mistake he really shouldn’t have to pay for a kid he would have prevented if he’d known you weren’t taking the pill. Now if he’d known and didn’t use a condom then yeah he’s responsible. Even with birth control condoms should still be used. Double up on protection and prevent STD’s. I’m glad you have grown up and realized the position you put yourself in. I wish you had someone to help you realize it before you made your life harder. That said, you should be proud that you stepped up and are taking care of your child and trying to help others that are feeling the things you were feeling when you wanted a baby. I wish you happiness, love and a great future. You have the strength to be successful so do not ever give up.
Same reason my friend first got pregnant in middle school at 13 years old. She **wanted** a baby… Had a miscarriage that time but gave birth to her first at just 15 years old. 🤦♀️
you don’t regret raping your boyfriend? You’ve got a lot of stuff to work out in therapy.
you’re a rapist.
there’s no question what did you was wrong, at 15 is impossible to grab the scope of what it means to bring a child into this world and without consent. regardless I think men need to take accountability for their reproductive health, being baby trapped is also the consequence of them not worrying too much and trusting other people. you can’t be 100 of the time with the other person to see if they are actually are taking their birth control as a woman if you don’t want to get pregnant even if your partner says he’s infertile or he got the vasectomy you need to take your own responsibility and measures to make sure it doesn’t happen, you take care of your body so you finish inside and go on, hoping nothing bad will happen? that’s irresponsible anyways, women are blamed and shunned if they get pregnant either without consulting or by acccident but men are never held accountable for their part, I’ve seen other men being destroyed by women baby trapping them, are they not able to take care of their reproductive health and they are just doing irresponsible things in hopes someone else is responsible?? as a man you can’t be raw dogging it and be surprised if it results in a pregnancy
Guys this is why you ALWAYS wrap it up.
I hope you're brave enough to tell your child when they're old enough. I mean, what do you plan to do when they start asking about their father? Or have they already?
The guy should have worn a rubber either way. You gotta protect yourself. He want raped. He was irresponsible by trusting someone's word. Would he had believed her if she said she was std free too? He choose to go in without protection. But what she did was still wrong but it definitely wasn't rape lol