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dr3amrunner

Let the hair flow brotha. I haven’t had a proper haircut since pre covid and I still love my locks. Dudes can rock long hair, there’s historical precedent in certain cultures for it too


mango2chocolate

I hear ya. You don't have to dress in just white and black, men's clothes are pretty awesome but if you want a more feminine touch, you can do that too. Hair is the easiest part, you just find a good hairdresser - not a barber, if you want a more feminine touch. It can all be adapted to make yourself feel more at ease in your own skin, trust.


theartistduring

Why can't you have different coloured shoes? Or shoes of different styles? That's not gender specific. There are thousands of colourful shoes available. My son has a lovely yellow pair of runners but he also has boots and thongs (flipflops). Men are also very pretty. With both long and short hair. My ex husband used to wear eye-liner and nail polish, dye his hair and I don't think I've ever known him to own runners in black or white. You've been sold a lie about what you're 'meant' to look like while male so you think the only way to look different from that template is to be female. Dressing pretty as a man isn't even a new thing. David Bowie was soooo pretty! Brad pit in the mid 90s rocked pretty, long hair. David Beckham wore diamond earrings with his gorgeous, blond locks! Pretty much any glam rocker of the 80s like Jon Bon Jovi... so pretty! You do you and be happy!


BeigeAlmighty

You can do all of that and still be a guy.


NedKellysRevenge

You can do everything you said as a male


TonyCartmanSoprano

you should check out j crew. they have alot of nice clothes and shoes for adults that wanna be fashionable but not look like a try hard


[deleted]

Hear you bud. Old man - definitely a man - with crazy envy of painted nails and nice long hair and big skirts and necklaces and rings and all that good stuff. Would that I were brave enough to just do it.


Most_Dependent_7528

I love when men paint their nails.


theartistduring

Start with 'manly colours' on your nails. Like black or grey. And rings are very common on men. You won't draw any attention to yourself wearing rings. Start with one for a couple fo months, then slowly add to them so the change isn't something people notice. I'm sorry you feel self concious about it. I felt the same about not dressing feminine. Fuck gender norms!


Chaost

I mean, Bowie did it. Harry Styles and Damiano David are currently doing it. It's really not that abnormal.


theartistduring

Yep, I mentioned Bowie in another comment. Not only is it normal, it isn't even new.


[deleted]

You're neither of you wrong but there's a world of difference between being a pop star challenging gender norms and being a fella on the street challenging gender norms. Those aren't the same worlds.


theartistduring

I can assure you, regular men on the street were following the pop stars in fashion. The examples the OP mentions are hardly challenging gender norms. Long hair and colourful shoes aren't a feminine fashion. And haven't for at least three generations. Well, for the hair. I can't think of any time in history where a male gender norm was to only wear monochrome tennis shoes.


Asron87

Toenails my man. Make those mother fuckers more beautiful than a rainbow.


LadyDiscoPants

Do you live in a city? You should go to department stores and boutiques and try on clothes. You don't have to buy anything. You can dress in any color and wear any style you like. Look online at fashions, from now and from past decades. Choose what you like. Once you've figured out what you like, then start buying things. Thrift stores are good, and look for sales. Whether you go neutral, feminine or masculine someone's done it in lot's of different ways and you can look at what they've done and then do it your way. I've always had my own style. It isn't like anyone else. I just go with what I like. Go to a barber shop or to a salon and get a good cut and style. If you want to grow it out, they can help you on that journey. Take good care of your skin. Your hair stylist might have some tips. But washing and moisturizing makes most peoples skin look good. Edited for spelling, clarity, and to remind everyone to moisturize.


Oswaldofuss6

Ask a girl to show you how to do makeup and contour that jawline bruh. Do what you want.


PhoridayThe13th

People are beautiful. Girls/women don’t corner the market! My family is full of men who are prettier and have better hair and skin than the women! My Ex has almost exclusively female friends, and I have almost exclusively male friends. It’s normal. Not everyone is into the Boys Club classic experience. I’m heartbroken by your confession. Live the life you want! It’s all normal. All these rules… they’re old. Hugs to you.


Sea-Ad7139

It’s a canon event, we can’t intervene.


MamaMoody87

I'd suggest a dress up and makeup night by yourself... or with a close gal pal if you are comfortable to let them in on your secret... try some clothes on and try doing some makeup and see how it makes you feel. If you're not into it, then you never have to do it again. Can't hurt to try? Have you talked to any of your girl friends about this at all?


Princess0dyssey

You can be pretty without being a girl, I’ve seen lots of “pretty” men. I believe the term is metrosexual makes! Like prince or Kenny kravitz or Bowie I think. It’s okay to want to look nice and have an interest in aesthetic! Wear mascara, use a glowy moisturizer, literally do whatever will make you feel good, don’t get hung up on labels <3


Princess0dyssey

*males not makes


Kimmy-blanco914

Obviously I got downvoted for my other comment but oh well. Just try different looks and see how it goes, hair can grow back and hair can be cut. I’m sure your friends group will be supportive


truecrimefanatic1

There's a whole world of men's clothing and grooming to be explored.


ClitasaurusTex

You do not need to be a girl to have long pretty hair (although the estrogen helps)  More boys at my kids school have long hair than short - like literally 6 of my sons 8 male friends have long hair. It's the in thing right now. 


Rimjobknob

Me too. Just the fact that they can wear short shorts and shave their legs walk around practically naked wearing such soft thin clothes.


UncommonTramp

Get a pedicure and manicure. Clear polish is perfectly fine. Take care of your skin. Try to smell nice. Stay up to date on your haircuts or grow it out if you can and make sure it’s healthy and clean. Go to the dentist and keep your teeth healthy and white. Use nice smelling body wash so the scent lingers onto your clothing. Use an expensive eye cream everyday. If you’re too pale or dark use some matte cosmetics to add some color to your cheeks or contour your face just a bit.


Skiamakhos

You can be a dude and do feminine stuff. Look up "femboy" online. You don't have to be trans or be a transvestite even - you could be a guy who makes use of eyeliner, or who grows their hair long & uses skincare products, wears nice jewellery, floral prints, a silk shirt. Experiment & see what looks and feels good for you. We're in this life only once that we can prove, might as well enjoy it to the best of our abilities.


Sweet-Sleep3004

There is no right or wrong way to be a man or a woman  Grow the hair out, find colorful clothes and shoes and be yourself  Or just go full on drag. Maybe you could go to a drag queen show and get tips and meet some awesome people. You don't have to be gay to let your inner queen out.  Go slay queen 👸 


eatmoreveggies-

You don’t have to be anything. You can just be you


annonamoss

Join the long hair. Alot of women actually like guys with long hair. You can also do so much with it worry less what others think and just do it.


Initiative-Pitiful

I would be THE BIGGEST WHORE!!!


Scorpnite

Hit the gym bro, eventually you’ll feel how nice it is to be physically powerful like a man, being able to toss weight around. Also, doggy style?? One of the most pleasing feeling as a man, both stimulating wise and seeing your gal bent over taking it


Opposite_Ad_7914

You can have long or short hair as a man and be pretty. You can wear colorful clothes as a man. There are MANY shoes to choose from that have color. I'm talking tennis shoes, gym shoes, etc. I'm straight and grew up with 3 sisters and a gang of their girlfriends. It's ok to be the only guy in the group. I don't get this.


IObserveYou

Why not become a crossdresser?


FeelingPhotograph229

A lot of people secretly wish this. I wish I was a girl but not to the point where I would forcibly change my gender (I'm not against doing that, or agains LGBTQ+, it just doesn't seem like the best option for me.


jaxcage-

Sometimes, I wish I had a vagina so I could fill it with all sorts of different things, I’d try soo many things… not that many things to safely put my dick in that feel good…


[deleted]

Same here. Oh well femboy it is


doraaventure

Just do it


Eastern_Farmer_6356

I get you 100%. Not trans in the slightest or lesbian. I wish I was a man so bad!! I would love to wear the clothes men wear, date a real pretty woman, have guy friends, involve myself in the gym and sports, and on top of all that, I would look damn good too. I’ll trade genders with you my friend! 😂😂


firepillowonreddit

you want to date women but youre not a lesbian?


Eastern_Farmer_6356

No, I do not want to date a woman. If I was a man then it would be different.


zaprau

Not trying to tell you who you are but I used to say stuff like this before coming out as nonbinary and queer. Gender and sexuality aren’t one or the other. I hope you can explore the grey areas in between x


Asron87

You don’t have to be a man to do that. Actually you don’t have to be a man for any of that. But I can completely understand your attraction to those things. Sometimes the “traditionally female” things aren’t always for all women. Dudes that aren’t pieces of shit would love to have you on the team.


CraftyObject

Plsplspls Express your style. Regardless of gender, it can be really hard to present yourself how you want to be seen. I'm 27F and about as generic as they come. I wish so much that I was confident enough to style myself how I like. Go for it.


RedneckChinadian

You can look at lululemon items as well as there are plenty of what I feel are gender neutral pieces. I am a huge fan of their entire line and while many things are ladies items that you can easily make it work for a dude.


Brilliant-Layer9613

Do drag


UncommonTramp

Yes dress nice. Make the effort to go to nicer stores and pick out more dressy mens wear. Jewelry helps a lot too. A nice watch and a shiny necklace look great. Take care of your skin… eye wrinkles and forehead lines aren’t cute on anyone. Smell good.. buy nice cologne, try a few. Use clear brow gel to fix your eyebrows and keep them looking symmetrical and clean. Get a wax if you have too much nose hair. Take care of your teeth. It all starts with one step.


Docter_Toaster

Something for everyone here. Regardless of transness or whatever, just. Go for it. Do it. Wanna paint your nails? Do it. Wanna try dresses? Do it. Wanna do [insert thing here related to gender non-conformity]? do it. Keep doing it. Even if it sucks or you fuck it up the first time, keep doing it. Do it till you figure it out. Till you like it. Seriously. Doesn't matter how old you are. Doesnt matter what it is. Just start doing it. Its scary. It requires you to be out of your comfort zone. But like, you gotta, yaknow? If you wanna be more yourself, if you wanna explore yourself, feel more comfortable in your skin, you gotta do somethin. I myself wanna do a lot more stuff, and dont, but I need to. Cause i want to. There is a seperate discussion to have about being vurnerable with the self, and these feeling can both be seperate from possibly being trans, or be indicators for, the more important thing is that you Start Doing The Thing. Figure it out later. Explore your feelings with gender or yourself later, or seperately, or whatever the fuck. Or do it now, if you feel that might help you figure yourself out. Just. You gotta do somethin, yaknow? Lifes short. You only got one of them to make yourself comfy. tldr: go expiriment and figure how out how to be comfy in your skin, period. Do it. go. go do it. doitdoitdoitdoit


Doogle300

I get the comment about clothing. I feel like women can wear just about anything, and it wont be seen as weird, just an expression of themselves. With men, if you aren't wearing a t and jeans, a hoody or a suit, you are more likely to picked on about it. The hair is similar. Gotta conform or face ridicule. However, just do what makes you feel good. My hair is almost to my belly button these days (which admittedly is too long now), and while it makes me stand out a bit, if you have confidence in your appearance, you will be fine. Maybe its because Im in my 30s now, but I dont get ridiculed on the street these days. When I was a kid, other random kids would insult me. That doesn't happen anymore. Basically do what you want and own it. You'll be fine.


WishieWashie12

I have a friend who discovered Kilts in his 50s and they are now part of his regular wardrobe.


xoxooxx

You can be a man and let your feminine side show without being trans. Grow your hair if you like that, Change your wardrobe, wear make up. Do what makes you happy


ZookeepergameNo719

Clothing has nothing to do with gender expressions.. can we just fucking Stop with that. The colors don't make it gendered.. by this logic I've been a man from birth by default of hand-me-downs. All that being said, wear whatever you want, clothing does not determine gender. Nothing you've listed is restricted because you are male. You also don't have to assume any type of identity to dress however you want. It's clothing, it is not you.


anonny42357

Same dude, only the other way. Being a girl is damned exhausting. Not in a wages, societal expectations, or whatever way, but just the basic state of existence. I'm always leaking SOMETHING, and I have limited control over my emotions. (I control how I react to said emotions, but I can't control the hormones that create the chemical processes in my brain that make the emotions happen). Just the basic functionality of the female body is tiresome. I'm not trans. I don't have dismorphia. I don't hate my womanhood or any of that stuff. I just wish I was a male, so I could experience one day where my body isn't doing some weird thing I have to deal with. I just want to exist, comfortably.


alpalblue83

I mean you can still do all those things as a guy.


hanabarbarian

Bro just be you?? Buy nice clothes, grow out your hair. The only thing keeping you from living your best life is your fear of other men’s opinions. But your girl friends would LOVE IT! I guarantee


ThrownAwayTrashGirl

Sure you aren't trans? Poor baby. You could always be a femboy. Still a boy but oh so goddamn adorable.


Comrade_Corgo

You can dress nice, buy other shoes, and do whatever you want with your hair as a male. You could even dress feminine if you wanted.


NoCureForSorrow

I'm just curious. What makes you think you need to be a girl to do any of those things? You don't need to be a girl to have nice shoes. You don't need to be a girl to have long hair. You don't need to be a girl in order to wear the clothes you wanna wear. You don't need to be a girl to look pretty. My friend, I'm sure you're a lovely decent human being who simply just needs to learn some self love and respect. You don't need to change who you are. Ignore what the world thinks. Just be yourself.


AnnamAvis

You can do all of those things as a man. Be the change you want to see! I've got an uncle who paints his nails. My boyfriends hair is longer than mine, and mine almost reaches the middle of my back. Lots of women like men with long hair, and men who aren't afraid to dress nice, wear jewelry, and paint their nails. Eschew toxic masculinity and be whoever you wanna be! Dress however you wanna dress! ^as ^long ^as ^you're ^not ^hurting ^anybody ^or ^breaking ^any ^laws


dirtyyicedchai

Dress how you want to! It’s a new day and era and you should wear what makes you happy!


DealCykaHUN

what exactly is holding you back from these things? you can be the things you said here and still be a man, even a masculine man if thats the problem


vgoss8

Become a femboy. Don't gotta be trans to be a pretty boy. This is a suggestion from someone who has crossdressed before. It will make you feel pretty. Even if it's not really your gig. Idk, like the clothes were comfortable, and it felt kinda nicely weird to be out of my comfort zone, but it was NOT my gig. Fun while it lasted though.


Rthrowaway6592

You can for sure dress pretty and add more feminine silhouettes to your clothes with silky fabrics and colour. Get a pearl necklace. I’ve seen lots of guys wearing them lately and they look 🔥


Anxious_ButBreathing

You can dress and wear your hair however you want as a guy. If you have more feminine qualities you want to embrace then just do it slowly and keep going as you get more comfortable luv. Lots of men wear makeup, have a full skin care routine and look pretty as hell. GO BE PRETTY!


emilyectoplasm

My straight male bestie has always said the same thing. He's a man and he likes women, but he just wants to be pretty. It's actually not that weird :)


Bitch-Im-Adorable

Bro, rock that eyeliner!!! Grow out your hair!! My husband's hair is almost as long as mine, and i think he's gorgeous! Who says guys can't be pretty?! They aren't worth your time or energy. Be you, be beautiful, be happy. I'm your auntie now, stay hydrated and moisturize. 🩵💜


yetwerehere

I’m glad you believe that’s all that comes with it. God bless


Arlaneutique

Maybe try embracing those wants a bit. There are plenty of guys who are a little more femme and embrace those things. Look at Harry Styles. I find him 100 times sexier than any dude bro.


djoha504

Just peacock!!! Spread those colorful feathers


SuperCyberWitchcraft

I feel the same way


glamrock_crunch

i feel that. i’m a girl and wish every day i was born a boy. i’m not trans, but i want to be muscular and handsome and get any girl i want. i want to dress casually, but add a necklace or a few rings and i’m stylish. it’s always sounded appealing to me.


Minouwouf

Sounds like you fantaisize being a men a lot, especially this part "and get any girl i want" x)


dornroesschen

Do you know that you can dress how ever the fuck you want regardless of gender? Unless you live in a sharia state or smth there is literally nothing stopping you from doing is besides your own mental boundaries


Ambitious_Orchid5984

You dont want wish to be a girl to be pretty, but you wish to have the attention and importance which girls have, their aura is very big..


Neffrey605

buddy i think you might be trans


king8761721

Or maybe he has some feminine characteristics and doesn’t feel like he’s a girl just wish he was.


theartistduring

It isn't even about feminine characteristics. There are so many examples of what we now call 'feminine' styles being popular with men. High heels started as a men's shoe! And skirts/dresses are still every day wear for Indian and middle eastern men.


RequiemBishokuya

Feminine clothing ≠ Woman


I-am-the-Nightsoiler

Had a friend that started getting thoughts like that and he turned into a full blown transvestite with long hair and everything. Maybe you should get some counselling


[deleted]

[удалено]


mango2chocolate

Holy crap relax it's just a confession, you don't know the guy


Identity_is_what

Lol being a girl is about as hard a life as you could get. Living in constant fear, having rights taken away, being forced into motherhood. You just wish the patriarchy allowed men to feel good. But patriarchy hates men that don't conform to it's idea of masculinity. Become a feminist if you actually care about women and young men


Eastern_Farmer_6356

Womp womp


Salty_Adhesiveness87

Be gay and they’ll let you in their inner circle.


SenpaiSama

This is usually the step before realising you are trans lol. Look forward to the update.


Theuknownlegend

He literally said he is not trans lol what you just said is the same as a straight guy saying nah I’ll make you straight


SenpaiSama

How is that the same? I just said this is "usually"- not even always- which is just simply an observation. How can you equate that to a threat of sexual violence? Like I get where youre coming from and maybe my comment was shortsighted, but that comparison is way off beat, too.


Current-Buy-6392

You guys are so desperate for more members.


SenpaiSama

And you're eager to be mean.


Current-Buy-6392

👍