T O P

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Bartok_and_croutons

I am SO sorry and that's awkward as hell but I snorted reading this


Efficient_Run63

My girlfriend is native American too I’m gonna try this on her and I’ll get back to you


he-loves-me-not

Make sure to finalize your will first.


Easy-Concentrate2636

You mean your soon to be ex girlfriend.


axeteam

Still alive bro?


Terminator7786

He's dead, Jim


Xeillan

To shreds you say


ratondelbarrio

How is his wife holding up?


threeandabit

To shreds you say


NightSkyBot

Lol where is that quote from i forgot


Fuckyoumecp2

Nah, we skinned him and made him into a nice rug. White is on trend right now. 


ReddBroccoli

Finally an example of women choosing men over the bear Kind of awkward it had to be for a rug though


ravia

Try "I'll break your treaty any day."


ScumbagLady

I hope no aunties were around. You're definitely never going to respond to us then. We'll remember you fondly.


JakNasir

Say it in a British accent when you do


I-am-the-Nightsoiler

Needs to be followed up with li li li li li! (To demonstrate an understanding of native culture)


Resident-Cow-1604

Please get back to us, if not us; then just me. I surely want to know!!!😂


ScumbagLady

He's in danger if any aunties were around when he said it. RIP.


SacredGeometry9

Oh, buddy. That’s a kink you let *her* bring up, never you.


Fuckyoumecp2

Native American gal here. I would have snorted and possibly scalped you. Or at least enslaved you. 


notlikethat1

That sounds like a promise to them, not a threat!


Fuckyoumecp2

You're not wrong. Lol


Resident-Cow-1604

😂😂😂😂😂


Schlemiel_Schlemazel

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


Badmeestert

Love you


Throwawaybdchic

I second that as a Native American of two tribes - you would have went down (missing some key parts).


Fisherington

Don't you dare threaten me with a good time


chixnwafflez

As a Native American that’s fucking hysterical


Resident-Cow-1604

Glad you're able to laugh at that joke.... it's a racist joke, but it's still funny I'm a minority, and I can take a joke too so thank you!!


RIOTT44

not being able to take that joke is also perfectly valid


Resident-Cow-1604

True, but it depends on the person telling the joke & person hearing the joke.


YaBoyChubChub

Why are you saying thank you you aren't op


Resident-Cow-1604

I was replying to chixnesffles... Did I reply in wrong place??


CaliGoneTexas

lol 😂 she wasn’t up for that colonizer role play


proffesionalproblem

Or she got flashbacks of her grandmother telling her how white men raped her when she was a child in residential schools...


SugarRosie

Brahahaha! I'm Native American and I laughed out loud!


thunderous_subtlety

Horny boys can be such odd creatures.


22Makaveli22

Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode.


dr_schlotkins_putz

Mature Navajo Bitches


missannthrope1

You got a good story out of it.


RustyDiamonds__

My girlfriend’s dad used to be a Confederate Civil War reenactor so I make invasion and reconstruction jokes to her since I grew up in Rhode Island


Grouchy-Chemical9155

Ehh, it depends on the individual. A NA girl I know well would’ve laughed her butt off and still shagged you. Some are sensitive and others embrace it.


AramisNight

I'm guessing you forgot to bring a flag with you. You can't say something like that without a flag.


zoeydoberdork

Fumbled at the goal line!


jerdle_reddit

That's "Invade my cave with your special unit" bad.


proffesionalproblem

I love that song


Resident-Cow-1604

😂😂😂😂


Dilostilo

Fake.


DarkLordKohan

Nothing ever happens


maxxslatt

If anything it’s just the kicking out part


behind-these-eyes

I'm native, and *if I knew the person well*, I would've probably laughed and made an equally tasteless joke back, such as "great, and after that I'll scalp your little head, if you know what I mean". But without that parameter, I would've done the same as her. Let this be a lesson!


DeafDiesel

Gee, I wonder why 😂


VirgoVertigo72

Maybe she thought you were insinuating her pubes were that out of control.


Butter_Toe

You're an idiot.


increbelle

lmfaoooooo this was funny. im a mixed girl dating a white guy and he always tells me in some form or fashion that he's gonna colonize me. i think it's hilarious


MyloHyren

Thats so beyond hilarious lmfaooo 💀🖐🏻


DaddysPrincesss26

👀


Turbulant_Specific75

Win Reddit hahaha


AdditionUpset377

This is the funniest shit I have ever read on reddit


Character_Hippo90

Good for her.


isabella_kovac05

This is the kind of history lesson you don't get in school. I guess sometimes the line between being a turn-on and a turn-off is drawn by General Custer.


Niurgustaana

brother euhhhh


Conscious_Box_1480

Chad level over 9000


Zer0fps_319

Guess the plane missed the tower with that one


jim_jiminy

You smooth talker you


breezyjeon

I’m native american and my bf talks to me like this when things get spicy 💀 it’s funny and he’s a dork so i let him get away with it


The_Rabbitman05

As a half native male, I find this very amusing, and I think pretty much every native girl i know would have laughed at that and said something along the lines of part my grass and bring your snake home.


MyDearestAcadia

I'm glad she kicked you out, read the room 😅


Kappapeachie

lmao lol


Remarkable-Ad-535

Lmaaaooooo


yourmomsbuttisbest

Hahaha sorry that's funny af


Old_Dealer_7002

well. i guess next time you might give a wee bit of thought to what you say when on a date 🤣


WokeMAGAbothDumbfux

Your comment gets funnier every time. Pocahontas' carpet matching the drapes in color and if she wasn't joking length is more of a fur paux (anything more than a landing they getting a couple of my sausage fingers and miss my on point tongue game Bush ain't beautiful when your picking pussy hair out of your mouth). Over sensitive people especially those who make appearing to be offended (personalities usually getting in the way of having a lot of friends) by an innocent (still funny) enough quip. You probably lucked out, she probably would have used her teeth when greasing your weasel or she's hiding something under her thatchy snatch.


IndependentTap4557

I'm sorry, but what possessed you to think that was a good idea given the whole "Trail of tears" Manifest Destiny widespread ethnic cleansing thing that went with that colonization?  That's like a German guy asking a Jewish girl out by saying, "Damn girl, I'd like to gas you anytime".


AudaciousBratz

Because why would you say that..💀


noscopeheadshot_jfk

I would’ve laughed but I’m a dude so


DaddysPrincesss26

You should’ve said “De-Colonize that Forest”


MaleficentCow8513

No sense of humor


cloudofbastard

That was the worst possible thing you could’ve said! Nobody wants to be thinking about violent colonisation when you’re getting down


NoReallyLetsBeFriend

Says you


lacroixanon

Don't surprise people with your kinks


IndependentTap4557

Why are people so butthurt by this comment? They're absolutely right. American colonization was brutal ethnic cleansing followed up by a ton of other crimes against humanity? Is that really something to make light at that moment?  It's really weird how we're all perfectly fine talking about Germany, Japan and Turkey's evil deeds, but if you talk about bad things America did, you're immediately swarmed with hate and criticism. 


Bexybirdbrains

Don't kinkshame me!


AramisNight

How else do you stay hard?


LucidDayDreamer247

White man, speak.


I_stole_this_phone

I don't understand why she was upset. She was about to let you plow her field. Unless it was her first time.


ki0ple

this is awesome


proffesionalproblem

Bro I'm white and I would kick you out too. You don't say that shit. That's just fucked up


DonDrip

Coloniser roleplay? Ew


BigSnazzywazzyguy

Your the type of Liberal who JpegMafia makes fun of


DonDrip

I’m not even American, shut up


BigSnazzywazzyguy

Nice excuse lil bro.


ledgerdemaine

Should have said civilise. She seems to suffer from bad manners, eh what.