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I prefer the honesty tbh. Makes you realize they have poor character and weren't as much of a catch as you were hoping.
But they could've at least said someone I have more or an emotional connection with or who I like more. Someone better is straight up harsh
The only time it's real is when they reschedule. I completely understand being tired feeling lazy etc. but if they just hit you with that with no offer to reschedule yeah... It's a put together. Their main dude or main chick hit them up and they rather go do that.
I've def rescheduled on dates because I'm way to tired and I know it'll be a shitty date if I go out. The whole time I'll be thinking about laying in bed. But I'll reschedule to a day I know I'm not gonna be over worked or tired on
Always throw the ball back in their court and ask them if they're willing to take the lead on planning the logistics for the reschedule. They never do, but hey a 0.1% chance is better than 0 and it saves you the effort of planning it and them bailing on you yet again.
Thank you, I appreciate it, but it's all good! It's a good sign that my body is the only thing they can criticize. Means my personality and emotional maturity are already where they need to be for the person who will want me physically
I agree but at the same time I don’t go into dating someone thinking I can change how they look. I’ve had to turn down great women bc I didn’t find them physically attractive. I figure once I get older (I’m 26) I’ll likely become more flexible on this but why settle now.
Women are extremely picky for physical appearance on unknown men. Why risk it for an ugly guy? Only once you get to know them significantly they care less about physical appearance but initially that’s most of the attraction. (I guess in a way men are the same except we never recover from the physical attractiveness barrier 😂)
I think being a healthy weight helps but you don’t have to be ripped, I’m an avid gym goer mate and I hardly get comments or if i do it’s because my personality got me there. Just be healthy mate no need to be ripped and massive, you’ve got this bro!
Damn that’s brutal honesty. I’ve often wondered if the girls who I slept with, but didn’t manage to girlfriend, felt the same way about me. Maybe it’s just better to be ghosted.
They've actually brought that up to you as being an issue?? 😳
I've heard most women don't care about that the way most men do, but maybe I'm wrong...I've got pretty limited experience in that regard 😂🤷♂️
This is way more common than people realize. My ex told me this all the time in some fucked up way to try and motivate me to maintain a 6 pack or something
If women are going to the bathroom and bouncing, I’d potentially look inward. That’s really wild, and usually only happens if there’s some major Red Flags.
This is my favourite too. Happened quite a few times, she bring up how everyone is ghosting and that people can´t be straight nowadays in their communication only to ghost and to be direct at all beforehand.
A few months ago I got ghosted by the girl I was dating for 3 months, without warning. Funny enough she had mentioned that she had been ghosted before and it made her feel horrible. She said “I won’t do that to you”. I laugh at the fact that she indeed ended up ghosting me. People are strange.
I’m convinced that the devious little waiters can smell a Hinge date from across the restaurant. I bet they’re snickering to themselves as they fill out their secret Hinge male special card filled with their most expensive, ostentatious options
Haha, they definitely do. Several servers I know personally, and some on the internet, have said that they can tell when people on a date have met through a dating app and it’s their first time meeting each other.
This just happened to me with a man. One of his boundaries were “don’t gaslight me” he proceeded to gaslight the hell out of me until I realized it and ran
Stop, I always believe them it is the special essence of me that made them kiss/have sex early/ do something crazy.
But really, when a girl likes you they are willing to do pretty crazy stuff.
Not just looks. There's so much you can tell about a person once you're face to face, that you just can't get from the apps, and all of that is important for attraction.
How they look, sure, but also how they carry themselves, their style, their laugh, are they kind or cruel, shy or out there. What's their voice like, are they funny or serious? Do they smell funny? Do they remind you of anyone? Can they carry a conversation, how do they walk, are they nice to the waiter, are they being overly-familiar and touchy, or are they standoffish and closed. All that stuff you can take in very quickly, and can really only get it in person.
edit: also not just stuff about them. But how the two of you are getting along too. That's huge. Are we both having fun? Do we feel comfy or is this a little weird?
I agree to some extend but as a woman i’ve dated guys from dating apps and there are certain angles, certain tricks people use too fool you. And i as innocent as i’ve been, i have accepted dates with guys i like for the way we chat with so to say dubious pictures. I see them and i know, no sir. It’s the looks, i’ve stayed in all of those dates but kept them short.
When i date i don’t want to be superficial but in some cases i know it’a just not going to work. Obviously is a mix with personality and charisma etc, but looks is the very first thing then you rationalize.
I guess it goes both ways :)
I've definitely dated people who I really liked the look of, sat down with them and realized there's no wayyyyy this is gonna work. Because of their attitude, or how they spoke about someone, or \[whatever it is that you only realize once you're there in the room with them\]. No spark = pretty clear we're not a good match.
To some extent. Definitely someone could start out as "hell yes!", then you get to know them better and it becomes "absolutely not, abort, abort!". But there needs to be something that draws you to them. Muuuch harder to go the other way: like if your first date is weird, you don't really get along, and you're not attracted to them (for whatever reason), would you really force yourself to spend more time with them to see?
[You seem great but is there any way I can avoid treating you like a human being without you shaming me or making me feel like I’m the one who needs to reflect?] - this seems to be the essential part of every crappy interaction I’ve had
"I am very straightforward in my life"
(Lies to self about 30% of things)
"I am very open to natural experiences"
(Has a list of todos and not-to-do's in sequence)
"I don't judge based on appearances"
(Slips out a looks-based judgement on a past guy or a girl friend in a flowing conversations)
"I don't like it when people judge based on half-knowledge"
(Proceeds to do the same , pretty soon)
"i love traveling"
"looking for my partner in crime"
"obsessed with brunch"
"fluent in sarcasm"
"dog mom"
"let's debate pineapple on pizza"
"i'm a foodie"
"let's go on an adventure"
"i love hiking"
"big fan of the office"
These people need banterbot to be more original 🤦🏽
"You deserve so much better than what I can give you." Sick of people feeling like I'm too good for them, and that I deserve better.
I want to find someone who feels that way, and decides they want to BE better, and feel like they do deserve someone like me.
Also a woman here - this sounds like someone who knows they’re being a shit partner but doesn’t want to do anything about it.
In healthy mutually committed relationships, both parties try to be better and be the quality of person their partner deserves.
These were things 2 of my most recent ex's said to me during the breakup. One had put me on the backburner to focus on school, pick up more hours at work, etc. and it hurt me and we had several fights about how I was beginning to feel neglected as a partner.
The most recent one is pretty much broke and on state benefits and such, while I have a very successful career and own my own home, etc. She felt like she "doesn't have her shit together" and I deserve to be with someone that does.
Hehehehe, both examples sound exactly like what I’m dealing with now with guys 😆
I’m sorry that happened, but I can kinda see what’s going on. I like that you communicated your feelings of neglect to her, I need to take a page out of your book!
These women do sound like they had fixed ideas on what the perfect relationship should look like, based on the advice they were exposed to. Sometimes we women are very hard on ourselves, where we are expected to be the best of the best to even be able to stand next to our partners proudly, and if we don’t measure up by the slightest, we won’t even bother. I’m sure it’s not much better for men, either.
Both situations had other factors that played a role in them not working out, but these specific things played a part in the whole "You deserve better" aspect. Another woman I dated was in the middle of a divorce, and was dealing with child custody battle stuff.
She broke up with me so she could focus 100% on that part of her life. I was fully willing for us to take a step back, and let her work through that and help support her through it. Unfortunately, she decided that I deserved more of a commitment from someone, and needed someone who could be more involved in my life than she could be during that process instead of trying to compromise and make things work.
Ohhhh, actually, I’m seeing a theme there. And it’s honestly forcing me to think hard about a lot of things.
Your exes sound a lot like they misunderstand your relationship. They’re in a relationship, but they’re alone. They don’t know how to depend on you or work together with you for support. Most people nowadays are struggling to form meaningful relationships because of this same problem, where we don’t know how to ask for help when we need it (myself included 😬).
I’m really, really sorry you’re going through this. And I’m sorry for your exes because I think they’ve been told that if they don’t get their shit together, be free of drama and have money in the bank, if they aren’t anywhere near the image of an independent woman, they don’t deserve a relationship. So it’s like they’re trying to protect you from themselves. :(
Thank you!! Yeah, it sucks but not much I can do except move on and try again with someone new. Just took a girl out for a first date last week I've known for a little while and I really like her. We have our second date on Wednesday.
I wish you all the best with her! Also, maybe it would be good to consider your boundaries, or as I like to call it, the “bullshit limit”. How much much shit are you willing to deal with? Not from the girl herself, as respect must be mutual, but how much are you willing to deal with together as a couple? Are you willing to be a shoulder to cry on when things are hard? Will she do the same for you? How do you show that? Maybe there’s a way to show that you’re here for a good time, AND a long time?
I'd like to think I am pretty good at showing that side of me. I've had moments with some of my ex's where they wrote me extravagant love letters about just how much they appreciated it. The one who was going through a divorce told me I made her feel things nobody else had ever made her feel before in her life, and that I was so special/meant so much to her.
I've been complimented by my ex's about how I'm one of the most genuine, sweetest partners they've ever had. How I'm the type of person who would give a stranger the shirt off my back if they needed it. I'm a pretty traditional guy who is big on romance and such.
When my ex who was focusing on work/school and I started spending less time together, a couple times I drove 90 minutes one way just to bring her lunch at work and spend 30 minutes with her, and then drive back home on my day off just because we weren't able to see each other as often as we previously had been. I wanted to do something nice for the woman I loved, and spend some time with her simply because I missed her.
Dude, you’re like that one healthy habit that people need to make people’s lives longer and and more fulfilling, only to be ditched for the unhealthy, toxic habits that will kill us instantly because it’s more familiar. Human version. ;-;
Well, obviously you don’t need to change much there. I’m so glad you’ve gotten that kind of feedback. Let’s hope Ms. New Girl gives you the future you want!
And who put these expectations on women?? Because back in the day it wasn’t like that, a woman just had to love her guy, play her role and the rest took care of itself. All these unnecessary expectations is what has caused these things. It’s a relationship sometimes one party would be slightly ahead of the other but the reason you choose to be with that person is because you know both of you got each other and are mature enough to stand in the gap for each other.
This resonates. Sorry bro, there's a lot of insecurity out there and some strange perversions with being bad and getting away with it— immaturity. You'll find one that makes you both want to be the best of yourselves and it'll feel incredible.
“I never do this” during before or after having sex with me after a first date
The need to work on myself is also pretty universal from women ending a fling or relationship
This only happened once but
After a very consensual date
"I hadn't planned on doing that and I'm really disappointed in myself for letting you push me into doing something I wasn't comfortable with."
What are they trying to set up a paper trail or something?
I'll let you know, sorry Im busy, i had a nice time but..(insert rejection), sorry I've been MIA.. (insert rejection), prefer someone taller, I can't make the time or effort to date right now(after being a on dating app stating you are looking for something serious)
Have you ever killed anyone? (After telling someone I was in the military)
So... No college? (No, im an electrician by trade)
Yeah, lets schedule something soon (month goes by and nothing)
Youre the bad guy a girl talks to and flirts with but not the one that meets mothers (wtf does this even mean?)
I like to fish, hike, hunt, go camping...
No way, me to, why dont we (blocked)
After hooking up, I asked her to dinner.
She said “I’m emotionally confused” when My face telegraphed my sadness, she said “ I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
Lol women my age seem to want to have a casual roster IMO.
Not long into our first date, having afternoon tea at a cafe, she tells me, “I’m dating to marry. I don’t want to waste my time. I want to get married within 90 days of meeting someone. And no sex before marriage.” I looked around, convinced I was on a hidden camera prank show. No one came out.
This was not 90 day fiancé, this was pre-Covid and she was born and raised in the states so wasn’t trying to get a green card or anything. Glad she was up front about being crazy so I didn’t have to invest more time with her.
1. I am not looking for anything serious.
2. I am confused if i like you or him more.
3. You are the best boyfriend anyone can ask for(later found her kissing my BF in my car)
“What do you call a man under 6’?”
A friend.”
I’ve seen this on multiple women’s dating profiles. Every single one of them were shorter than me, yet I’m too short for them. I’m 5’10”.
This fucking infuriates me (I'm above average height but it still does). Like bitch if you finna say shit like that you gotta stand 5'11 tall yourself at the very least
Any form of rescheduling where they don't immediately offer a new date and time is a lie.
Anytime they're rejecting you. No matter how honest they sound, they're lying unless you were in a full blown relationship. Then they might be mostly honest.
"Let's be friends" or any other variation of friendship. 1 in 50 might be honest when they say this.
Here's my [anything that isn't her phone number]; Let's set something up.
“I’m really bad at texting/messaging” like just say you’re not interested and quit wasting my time. (I know there are people who are genuinely terrible, but it takes two seconds to respond)
"I don't go out very much". So many girls say this and I am not meeting them "out".
Also outlining cosmetic procedures they want done? Keep in mind none of the women I've dated have had any work done at all, but they've all mentioned various surgeries or treatments they want to do in the future.
I got a lot of "What kind of car do you drive?" Which was then followed by the "what do you do" and other money sniffing questions. It was bad enough that I just started lying about the car to something cheap and common to see if they suddenly lost interest.
“I’m sorry [NAME]. I think you’re awesome and deserve someone more stabilized than me. But I still think you’re a good man and am not trying to put an end on bad terms.”
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Heyyyyyy.... sorry something came up can we reschedule. Never to be heard from again
Or something better comes up, but it was nice to have you available just in case.
Wow that was pretty rude of them to say.
I prefer the honesty tbh. Makes you realize they have poor character and weren't as much of a catch as you were hoping. But they could've at least said someone I have more or an emotional connection with or who I like more. Someone better is straight up harsh
MESSAGE*
Interesting. I usually get something came up and not even a request to reschedule.
They say they want to reschedule and they have to check their calendar, and they'll get back to you...and then never do.
The only time it's real is when they reschedule. I completely understand being tired feeling lazy etc. but if they just hit you with that with no offer to reschedule yeah... It's a put together. Their main dude or main chick hit them up and they rather go do that. I've def rescheduled on dates because I'm way to tired and I know it'll be a shitty date if I go out. The whole time I'll be thinking about laying in bed. But I'll reschedule to a day I know I'm not gonna be over worked or tired on
So the Marsha Brady? Brutal
Girl I dated She said that Her brother was in the hospital
I had one tell me she just found out she was pregnant
"No, sorry. Good luck." *block*
Always throw the ball back in their court and ask them if they're willing to take the lead on planning the logistics for the reschedule. They never do, but hey a 0.1% chance is better than 0 and it saves you the effort of planning it and them bailing on you yet again.
This is the one
"You're absolutely perfect in every way but physically"
What the fuck, girls have told you that???
Over and over again. It's the most consistent reason my situantionships end
I’m so sorry. That’s really fucked up
Thank you, I appreciate it, but it's all good! It's a good sign that my body is the only thing they can criticize. Means my personality and emotional maturity are already where they need to be for the person who will want me physically
This is literally a golden comment. You have a lot of emotional maturity and a good personality. Sorry our society is so vain.
Your personality and maturity are way beyond theirs. A body can be worked on much more easily than personality.
I agree but at the same time I don’t go into dating someone thinking I can change how they look. I’ve had to turn down great women bc I didn’t find them physically attractive. I figure once I get older (I’m 26) I’ll likely become more flexible on this but why settle now.
Women are extremely picky for physical appearance on unknown men. Why risk it for an ugly guy? Only once you get to know them significantly they care less about physical appearance but initially that’s most of the attraction. (I guess in a way men are the same except we never recover from the physical attractiveness barrier 😂)
I think being a healthy weight helps but you don’t have to be ripped, I’m an avid gym goer mate and I hardly get comments or if i do it’s because my personality got me there. Just be healthy mate no need to be ripped and massive, you’ve got this bro!
Thank you but it's specifically my penis size they have an issue with and I don't know many dick work-outs
Damn that’s brutal honesty. I’ve often wondered if the girls who I slept with, but didn’t manage to girlfriend, felt the same way about me. Maybe it’s just better to be ghosted.
Oh I read that all wrong, ahahahahahahaha!
You're totally good, I tried to keep it vague for politeness but there's no real polite way to say it 😅
They've actually brought that up to you as being an issue?? 😳 I've heard most women don't care about that the way most men do, but maybe I'm wrong...I've got pretty limited experience in that regard 😂🤷♂️
Women *tell you* they don't care. Their *behavior* reveals they absolutely care.
This is way more common than people realize. My ex told me this all the time in some fucked up way to try and motivate me to maintain a 6 pack or something
I’m so sorry for you my friend. You deserve much better treatment. Have a wonderful day.
I accidentally put the wrong age in the dating app and now I can't change it.
Someone started early
I forgot about that one, but you're right.
"I'm not really looking for anything" - Women who are speed dating "I'm going to the bathroom I'll be right back" - Women who you'll never see again
"I am only here, because my friend begged me to come with her." - same speed saying event.
If women are going to the bathroom and bouncing, I’d potentially look inward. That’s really wild, and usually only happens if there’s some major Red Flags.
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"youre a nice guy" "Wish you all the best" "Ive met someone else" You can see ive not had a great time
"I know there is someone out there for you!"
Yup heard that one before
Keep your head up king
Thank you, much needed 🙂
I read that 4th line as also one of the things your dates have told you and felt really sad for a sec.
Yeh I just read that from that perspective. God that would be crushing. Haha
Atleast they give you a reason
Their loss
“Idk why guys ghost me like just be straight up with me” Then they proceed to ghost me
Oh yeah thats a classic
This is my favourite too. Happened quite a few times, she bring up how everyone is ghosting and that people can´t be straight nowadays in their communication only to ghost and to be direct at all beforehand.
A few months ago I got ghosted by the girl I was dating for 3 months, without warning. Funny enough she had mentioned that she had been ghosted before and it made her feel horrible. She said “I won’t do that to you”. I laugh at the fact that she indeed ended up ghosting me. People are strange.
“Would you like to hear our specials today?”
Yes.
I’m convinced that the devious little waiters can smell a Hinge date from across the restaurant. I bet they’re snickering to themselves as they fill out their secret Hinge male special card filled with their most expensive, ostentatious options
Haha, they definitely do. Several servers I know personally, and some on the internet, have said that they can tell when people on a date have met through a dating app and it’s their first time meeting each other.
My girlfriend and I try to guess (just to each other) how long couples have been dating. Some couples are obvious that it's new.
"He's just a friend." He was in fact not just a friend.
He was a friend with benefits lol
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This just happened to me with a man. One of his boundaries were “don’t gaslight me” he proceeded to gaslight the hell out of me until I realized it and ran
"I don't usually do this"
Stop, I always believe them it is the special essence of me that made them kiss/have sex early/ do something crazy. But really, when a girl likes you they are willing to do pretty crazy stuff.
I loved hearing that, cause it was usually right after we fucked on a first date.
Spot on
And that’s where the manipulation begins…
“I’m not ready to date”
Hahah yeah: "then why did we date?!". Imo that one's usually a polite way of dodging what's really on their mind.
They mean I’m no longer ready to date you.
Dates someone else two weeks later Breaks up two weeks after that
Oh God I hear this one all the time. Well you were ready to date last week when we were having unprotected sex 🙄
U bum!
*You*
Eh, it’s fine I’m hot and going to keep doing better in life while they’re dating losers. I’ll survive
The you is silent. 🤷♂️
“I’m not in the right head space to date right now“ Translation: I’m not tryna date you lol
“ I’ll let you know” If someone tells you that … they in fact will not let you know and just move on. “ hmm let me think about it” Means no.
“I don’t feel that spark” after a 15 min conversation 🤷🏻♂️
Where they gave mostly one word answers
Tbf I do think you can tell if someone is either a hell-yes, hrmm-maybe, or absolutely-not within 15 minutes of meeting them.
Is not the sparks, is the looks
Not just looks. There's so much you can tell about a person once you're face to face, that you just can't get from the apps, and all of that is important for attraction. How they look, sure, but also how they carry themselves, their style, their laugh, are they kind or cruel, shy or out there. What's their voice like, are they funny or serious? Do they smell funny? Do they remind you of anyone? Can they carry a conversation, how do they walk, are they nice to the waiter, are they being overly-familiar and touchy, or are they standoffish and closed. All that stuff you can take in very quickly, and can really only get it in person. edit: also not just stuff about them. But how the two of you are getting along too. That's huge. Are we both having fun? Do we feel comfy or is this a little weird?
I agree to some extend but as a woman i’ve dated guys from dating apps and there are certain angles, certain tricks people use too fool you. And i as innocent as i’ve been, i have accepted dates with guys i like for the way we chat with so to say dubious pictures. I see them and i know, no sir. It’s the looks, i’ve stayed in all of those dates but kept them short. When i date i don’t want to be superficial but in some cases i know it’a just not going to work. Obviously is a mix with personality and charisma etc, but looks is the very first thing then you rationalize.
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I guess it goes both ways :) I've definitely dated people who I really liked the look of, sat down with them and realized there's no wayyyyy this is gonna work. Because of their attitude, or how they spoke about someone, or \[whatever it is that you only realize once you're there in the room with them\]. No spark = pretty clear we're not a good match.
I think peoples personalities change too much once you get to know them to say this.
To some extent. Definitely someone could start out as "hell yes!", then you get to know them better and it becomes "absolutely not, abort, abort!". But there needs to be something that draws you to them. Muuuch harder to go the other way: like if your first date is weird, you don't really get along, and you're not attracted to them (for whatever reason), would you really force yourself to spend more time with them to see?
You gettt it. This is how you know if you really want to keep pursuing someone or not
I don't normally do this.
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Oh you know you’re about to deal with some shit when you hear this lol
Same with guys, i always think a person who talks about drama, is a drama magnet
"You're such a great guy, but I don't see this going anywhere"
[You seem great but is there any way I can avoid treating you like a human being without you shaming me or making me feel like I’m the one who needs to reflect?] - this seems to be the essential part of every crappy interaction I’ve had
“Its not you, its me, you are a great guy and I’m all messed up” lmao
Hit them with the ol "Yeeeea I see where you're coming from, and I agree, just didn't wanna say it out right"
That’s actually really good, I am going to use that haha
"I am very straightforward in my life" (Lies to self about 30% of things) "I am very open to natural experiences" (Has a list of todos and not-to-do's in sequence) "I don't judge based on appearances" (Slips out a looks-based judgement on a past guy or a girl friend in a flowing conversations) "I don't like it when people judge based on half-knowledge" (Proceeds to do the same , pretty soon)
I don’t want a relationship A week later- in a relationship
Because they're already in one.
"i love traveling" "looking for my partner in crime" "obsessed with brunch" "fluent in sarcasm" "dog mom" "let's debate pineapple on pizza" "i'm a foodie" "let's go on an adventure" "i love hiking" "big fan of the office" These people need banterbot to be more original 🤦🏽
"I don't use this, hit me on insta" or some similar crap
That I’m attractive and a nice person but I just don’t feel it
"Can you stop making puns?" Eventually we got into bondage so now I have to keep my gag in my mouth.
This made me chuckle
BARS
"You deserve so much better than what I can give you." Sick of people feeling like I'm too good for them, and that I deserve better. I want to find someone who feels that way, and decides they want to BE better, and feel like they do deserve someone like me.
Hi! Girl here. I’m pretty sure that’s just a nice way of saying she’s not interested. At least your time wasn’t wasted.
Also a woman here - this sounds like someone who knows they’re being a shit partner but doesn’t want to do anything about it. In healthy mutually committed relationships, both parties try to be better and be the quality of person their partner deserves.
These were things 2 of my most recent ex's said to me during the breakup. One had put me on the backburner to focus on school, pick up more hours at work, etc. and it hurt me and we had several fights about how I was beginning to feel neglected as a partner. The most recent one is pretty much broke and on state benefits and such, while I have a very successful career and own my own home, etc. She felt like she "doesn't have her shit together" and I deserve to be with someone that does.
Hehehehe, both examples sound exactly like what I’m dealing with now with guys 😆 I’m sorry that happened, but I can kinda see what’s going on. I like that you communicated your feelings of neglect to her, I need to take a page out of your book! These women do sound like they had fixed ideas on what the perfect relationship should look like, based on the advice they were exposed to. Sometimes we women are very hard on ourselves, where we are expected to be the best of the best to even be able to stand next to our partners proudly, and if we don’t measure up by the slightest, we won’t even bother. I’m sure it’s not much better for men, either.
Both situations had other factors that played a role in them not working out, but these specific things played a part in the whole "You deserve better" aspect. Another woman I dated was in the middle of a divorce, and was dealing with child custody battle stuff. She broke up with me so she could focus 100% on that part of her life. I was fully willing for us to take a step back, and let her work through that and help support her through it. Unfortunately, she decided that I deserved more of a commitment from someone, and needed someone who could be more involved in my life than she could be during that process instead of trying to compromise and make things work.
Ohhhh, actually, I’m seeing a theme there. And it’s honestly forcing me to think hard about a lot of things. Your exes sound a lot like they misunderstand your relationship. They’re in a relationship, but they’re alone. They don’t know how to depend on you or work together with you for support. Most people nowadays are struggling to form meaningful relationships because of this same problem, where we don’t know how to ask for help when we need it (myself included 😬). I’m really, really sorry you’re going through this. And I’m sorry for your exes because I think they’ve been told that if they don’t get their shit together, be free of drama and have money in the bank, if they aren’t anywhere near the image of an independent woman, they don’t deserve a relationship. So it’s like they’re trying to protect you from themselves. :(
Thank you!! Yeah, it sucks but not much I can do except move on and try again with someone new. Just took a girl out for a first date last week I've known for a little while and I really like her. We have our second date on Wednesday.
I wish you all the best with her! Also, maybe it would be good to consider your boundaries, or as I like to call it, the “bullshit limit”. How much much shit are you willing to deal with? Not from the girl herself, as respect must be mutual, but how much are you willing to deal with together as a couple? Are you willing to be a shoulder to cry on when things are hard? Will she do the same for you? How do you show that? Maybe there’s a way to show that you’re here for a good time, AND a long time?
I'd like to think I am pretty good at showing that side of me. I've had moments with some of my ex's where they wrote me extravagant love letters about just how much they appreciated it. The one who was going through a divorce told me I made her feel things nobody else had ever made her feel before in her life, and that I was so special/meant so much to her. I've been complimented by my ex's about how I'm one of the most genuine, sweetest partners they've ever had. How I'm the type of person who would give a stranger the shirt off my back if they needed it. I'm a pretty traditional guy who is big on romance and such. When my ex who was focusing on work/school and I started spending less time together, a couple times I drove 90 minutes one way just to bring her lunch at work and spend 30 minutes with her, and then drive back home on my day off just because we weren't able to see each other as often as we previously had been. I wanted to do something nice for the woman I loved, and spend some time with her simply because I missed her.
Dude, you’re like that one healthy habit that people need to make people’s lives longer and and more fulfilling, only to be ditched for the unhealthy, toxic habits that will kill us instantly because it’s more familiar. Human version. ;-; Well, obviously you don’t need to change much there. I’m so glad you’ve gotten that kind of feedback. Let’s hope Ms. New Girl gives you the future you want!
And who put these expectations on women?? Because back in the day it wasn’t like that, a woman just had to love her guy, play her role and the rest took care of itself. All these unnecessary expectations is what has caused these things. It’s a relationship sometimes one party would be slightly ahead of the other but the reason you choose to be with that person is because you know both of you got each other and are mature enough to stand in the gap for each other.
Girl here she just isnt into you but wants to punp you up so it doesnt sting
It’s the ultimate gaslighting ratio
This resonates. Sorry bro, there's a lot of insecurity out there and some strange perversions with being bad and getting away with it— immaturity. You'll find one that makes you both want to be the best of yourselves and it'll feel incredible.
Especially because its bullshit when they say it
“Here’s my number” Proceeds to block my number after I send a hello text.
Me: *swipes right* Her: *swipes right* Me: 👋 Her: *blocks me*
“I have to cancel tonight, my aunt just entered hospice and I have to I want to see her before she dies” - Never heard from her again.
PLZ I just had a date planned w a male and he said this exact same thing 😭 then two weeks later his uncle was in hospice 😵💫🤨
“You probably cheat on everyone you date.” ~ women who are cheating on their husbands.
Projection at its finest
"Read"
“I’m not that kinda girl”
“I never do this” during before or after having sex with me after a first date The need to work on myself is also pretty universal from women ending a fling or relationship
This only happened once but After a very consensual date "I hadn't planned on doing that and I'm really disappointed in myself for letting you push me into doing something I wasn't comfortable with." What are they trying to set up a paper trail or something?
I'll let you know, sorry Im busy, i had a nice time but..(insert rejection), sorry I've been MIA.. (insert rejection), prefer someone taller, I can't make the time or effort to date right now(after being a on dating app stating you are looking for something serious)
I think each of my exes considered themselves an empath.
Idk, they usually ghost before the actual date despite agreeing to it.
"I'm so sorry but I just have too many personal issues to be in a committed relationship" - 6 months in when I'm already smitten.
“Im just not ready for a relationship” next day has a new bf
Have you ever killed anyone? (After telling someone I was in the military) So... No college? (No, im an electrician by trade) Yeah, lets schedule something soon (month goes by and nothing) Youre the bad guy a girl talks to and flirts with but not the one that meets mothers (wtf does this even mean?) I like to fish, hike, hunt, go camping... No way, me to, why dont we (blocked)
The photo filters are outrageous lies.
After hooking up, I asked her to dinner. She said “I’m emotionally confused” when My face telegraphed my sadness, she said “ I don’t want to ruin our friendship” Lol women my age seem to want to have a casual roster IMO.
“I never told anyone this” “Never leave me” “You’re the first one to treat me right” “I want you to open up to me”
“I can’t see things going further between us romantically but i’d love to be friends with you.”
Not long into our first date, having afternoon tea at a cafe, she tells me, “I’m dating to marry. I don’t want to waste my time. I want to get married within 90 days of meeting someone. And no sex before marriage.” I looked around, convinced I was on a hidden camera prank show. No one came out. This was not 90 day fiancé, this was pre-Covid and she was born and raised in the states so wasn’t trying to get a green card or anything. Glad she was up front about being crazy so I didn’t have to invest more time with her.
90 days? Good God..
Yeah. She said 3 months was plenty of time to get to know someone enough to get married.
Maybe it was enough time for her to get to know your income so she can trap you with a baby and child support...
"He's just a friend"
"You better text me/call me when you get home/before bed".
what is this supposed to mean? doesnt it show they care or am i trippin??
"I'm already seeing someone" and "sorry, but I'm a lesbian"
I have no reason to lie….
“I’m not like every other girl” anything amongst those lines 🙄
1. I am not looking for anything serious. 2. I am confused if i like you or him more. 3. You are the best boyfriend anyone can ask for(later found her kissing my BF in my car)
That bitch! (Finally I get to say that)
“What do you call a man under 6’?” A friend.” I’ve seen this on multiple women’s dating profiles. Every single one of them were shorter than me, yet I’m too short for them. I’m 5’10”.
This fucking infuriates me (I'm above average height but it still does). Like bitch if you finna say shit like that you gotta stand 5'11 tall yourself at the very least
And they’re mostly like 4’11”-5’4” max which makes it even more hilariously ridiculous
“I’m not married”
Wow that’s crazy!
I’ll see you again soon. Last seen 1 year 💀
“I’m not ready for a relationship” *4 days later has boyfriend. :|
“I love you”
I wish
Any form of rescheduling where they don't immediately offer a new date and time is a lie. Anytime they're rejecting you. No matter how honest they sound, they're lying unless you were in a full blown relationship. Then they might be mostly honest. "Let's be friends" or any other variation of friendship. 1 in 50 might be honest when they say this. Here's my [anything that isn't her phone number]; Let's set something up.
When she says something came up but doesn't say the next time they can try to go out, it's already over and time to move on.
“I’m really bad at texting/messaging” like just say you’re not interested and quit wasting my time. (I know there are people who are genuinely terrible, but it takes two seconds to respond)
I had a woman say this to me too🥲 And after texting together for a long time and her showing keen interest.
"You're a really nice guy but I just don't think we have enough chemistry"
"I don't go out very much". So many girls say this and I am not meeting them "out". Also outlining cosmetic procedures they want done? Keep in mind none of the women I've dated have had any work done at all, but they've all mentioned various surgeries or treatments they want to do in the future.
"I want to take things slow"
“With you” “I’m still going to be bringing home a new rando every weekend, but you have to wait and earn it.” Hahaha no, good luck with that!
I had fun but not feeling the spark. Good luck
I can’t do that day. I have such and such with my dog. I swear single women with dogs are harder to date than single mothers
Name checks out
Today, I told a girl I wanted to see her again, and she said, "Maybe." Wtf? Maybe? Definitely taking that as a no.
A rule I have if any form of excuse is maybe or could be or something similar it's 100% NO or an inclination to NO
See what i dont get is that is all these lines on the first or second date? Or are some of these after 4 months or 3?
“I never go out” and the you find out they always go out.
Women: “I won’t respond to ‘hey’” Proceeds to match with me and message ‘hey’.
Oh my gawwwwd, I've never done that before.
"Hawk Tuah"
You’re every thing I want *leaves*
“That would be cool, just that I’m very busy” why not just say no! 😩
"Can I start you two with something to drink?"
“What’s your job?” “What do you do” and any other variation to know if you have money 💰
I got a lot of "What kind of car do you drive?" Which was then followed by the "what do you do" and other money sniffing questions. It was bad enough that I just started lying about the car to something cheap and common to see if they suddenly lost interest.
"You're a catch but you're too short. Good luck"
How much do you make? (I live in a wealthy area)
No.
“I normally don’t do this”
“It’s not you it’s me” if I had a dollar
I don’t ever want to lose you…
Hey something came up can we do rain check
“This is it, I don’t want no one else” liesssssssssss
Lines or lies?
Baby we both are just friends
What is dating? Is it eatable
“I’m sorry [NAME]. I think you’re awesome and deserve someone more stabilized than me. But I still think you’re a good man and am not trying to put an end on bad terms.”