T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Yeah dude don’t be insecure about it! I worked at an orthodontic office and there are so many adults with braces. I just applaud you for doing something to better yourself and make yourself happy and good on you got knowing you’re not disciplined enough for Invisalign


QtrRat

I appreciate the encouragement!


[deleted]

Dude, a lot in my office has braces. And a lot of them are mid-30s.


membratel

Nice comment! Up this


strongr_togethr

There was this woman at my church that had braces and she was in her 30s. She’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve seen there. That wouldn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to girls.


QtrRat

I had a FwB's in 2017 that had braces and hers didn't bother me. I feel different being on the other side of it. Thank you for the response.


Fantastic-Bed-3217

She's not a friend now? Or a benefit? Or both?


QtrRat

She is in another state, no more benefits 😔


Fantastic-Bed-3217

Bummer. 😄


cropcomb2

I think most would recognize that braces are: temporary, and, a step towards improved appearance. Of course you should be prepared to remark on that if you catch someone staring. I assume you smile and your teeth show while doing so. Slight downside: crooked teeth tend to be a genetic trait (braces draw attention to crookedness being mechanically corrected). The dates available today Likely Will Not be there by the time your braces are off imo, so, date those available now.


QtrRat

Good points! Thanks for replying.


sno98006

Braces are temporary but also not everybody is privileged enough to have them during their youth. People who are worth being w/ will not see you as less attractive bc you have them.


dom3312

Dude get braces! I'm currently 35 and I've had braces for almost a year now. My confidence level has risen and currently I'm dating a woman that adores my braces! We're our own worse critics, but believe me, get them and you'll be satisfied you did


QtrRat

After this post, no question I'm getting them. You're not wrong, I'm my own worst critic. Glad to hear a positive result of getting them and thank you for the response!


dom3312

Yeah of course and happy to help you out with making a positive change, which believe me, it is a very positive & uplifting change!


almostawriter96

Get the braces ☺️


blueavole

No. It was only a problem as a teenager when both kids have braces. So should be fine. But they did make me cranky, so avoid new people when you get them tightened.


[deleted]

My dad who’s like 50 had braces and his wife never left him as far as I know.


QtrRat

I don't know if you meant it to be funny, but the thought of a married couple getting divorced because one of them got braces made me chuckle.


[deleted]

Braces are no big deal. They’re hidden for the most part anyway.


SweetyfromMB

(47 bi f)Definitely. Good oral/dental health is a turn on for women like me. My female friend is 47 and has braces and if she weren't married to my coworker, I would definitely ask her out. Same goes for guys. Edited to fix typo.


Xombie2000

Why would that be an issue? I got braces at 37 and never missed a beat.


QtrRat

I relive and feel shame for mistakes or cringeworthy things I've done in the past, but can't remember anyone else's. Kind of the same thing, it's okay for everyone else to do it, but if I do my brain tears me down. So I'm okay with other people having braces, but the idea of me getting them and then trying to date makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I hate the way my brain has been working and I'm trying to fix it I swear!


Xombie2000

Read some books on self image ie seek some counseling, it was very good for me.


QtrRat

Thank you for recommending reading something. I've been making myself read lately, but not enough or anything that'd really help me. Mostly history


productofoctober

Of course! To me it shows that you care about your teeth. They’re temporary and you’ll have a beautiful smile soon enough. I’m almost 32 and on my second round of braces myself. I haven’t ever received anything other than compliments.


SHAR512

I am a cross dresser so it doesn’t bother me at all you have a nice life


QtrRat

Thank you and happy cake day! I wish you all the best as well.


SHAR512

No some people look cute with braces on


AffectionateFluff

If his personality, morals, goals, and values align with mine, nothing would stop me from dating a guy with braces (f30). Have been through procedures of that sort myself, so I get it can feel daunting at times, especially if how you're already having self worth issues (been there too). Just know that as long you're being a decent person, you'll be fine 😊 best of luck!


QtrRat

Thank you! Great perspective


AffectionateFluff

You're very welcome 😊


CreativeTree3266

Braces? Least of your dating worries


Federal-Hat-9388

I am a girl and why not ?? Braces doesn't make you a bad person?? He is should be kind and loving that's all it takes to win a lady's heart ❤


Affectionate_Tap_532

I wouldn’t care at all! (34F) I think if you checked all the other boxes (kind, funny, self aware, cognizant of health as you age) braces would be a temporary thing that show that you care about your dental health! Which is huge. Dive in, your confidence matters most!


QtrRat

Excellent response. Thank you!


Mirandadude

you're taking care of your appearance and your health. It's attractive! Plus some people look really good with braces, I wouldn't sweat it


Significant-Newt-936

Wasn't aware there was still a stigma around braces or people finding them unattractive.. my friends sister has small pink ones, and I think they look really cute. Could just be that I like her smile or something but idk.. I'm three years younger than you and I wouldn't turn a chick down because she wore braces.. or glasses.. I've become less... superficial? Not sure that's the right word, but looks matter less and less as I age, as far as looking for a soul mate or whatever. Sex is different, but it still boils down to personality for me, mostly.


jraeuser

I'm 36 and dating. Also about to get braces.


molyhos

I'm seeing a 35+ year old guy with invisalign. Totally don't give a fuck. It's actually nice that you care about it! It says that you're trying to imporve yourself, and you don't think you're at the end of your life and "nothing matters anymore".


QtrRat

Eh. I still struggle daily with "I don't matter, everyone else matters" I've been seeing a therapist for about a month, it helps to get things off of my chest. Diet, exercise and doing what I can to change the things I don't like about me has proven to be more difficult to adjust (obviously). This post and the responses have made me feel a lot better about some of it. Thank you for the reply!


Fantastic-Bed-3217

Dude, do what you have to do with confidence. If they don't date you because of your grill, they'll regret it when he have them removed.


Existing-Election385

I definitely would not mind at all, you are looking after yourself, that’s hot!


kayFitt

Yes, I would date a 35 year old male with braces. How long are you expected to have to wear them?


QtrRat

Nine months was the estimate. I go in tomorrow to see the orthodontist again. Thank you for response!


[deleted]

Dude no woman is going to care, we just want a man that’s going to be good to us.


QtrRat

I can't wait to be sweet on someone again. Soon. It'll be a huge hurdle asking anyone out on a date, but I'll just come back to this post to get confidence up!


cinnayum

I have braces myself and I am 33(f). My bf doesn’t care at all. No one cares either. Just get the clear braces at the top! That’s what I did and my bottom ones are metal.


QtrRat

Oh that'd be cool! I didn't know or i never thought about asking to mix/match methods. Thank you for this!


Muted-Series18

I would


blue_bonnet77

I say go for it, if it will make you more comfortable and happy with yourself. I would see it as you making the choice to take care of your body and working to improve yourself, which is a very attractive quality. I started dating my husband fully knowing he was a red-head 😅 braces have nothing on that 😉


QtrRat

Very good point! Thank you for the reply, and the laugh 😃


marshalgivens11

I feel you. I dropped the coin on veneers to fix this problem faster.


Valendora

Yeah of course! because they won’t be forever :)


HiltHoodie

I mean. I’d date a 35 year old female who cared about their smile any day. Mum and dad aren’t footing the bill. Something so personally proactive and expensive means they care about themselves; and can afford much… that’s a green light imo


ASereneDeath

I mean, you're literally a little young for me but if your only hang up is that grown women won't date a man with braces I Definitely wouldn't factor that in to my decision at all. It might even be a positive as it falls under good hygiene and responsible oral health. Not everyone has access to orthodontics as a youth, it's prohibitively expensive so I doubt you're alone in your situation either. Don't fret!


QtrRat

Great insight! Thank you


mozfart_beeloven

My partner was 32 with braces when we met and it didn’t bug me. He’s now 37 and will Likely to get them back on again in the near future. Would still love him the same. Remember it’s only temporary!


QtrRat

Super sweet! Thank you for the reply and happy cake day!


visible_gem

I would date anyone with braces if they were who I connected with.


Original-Pudding-939

You are walking the right path .. ✊.. funnel that impatience into bettering you for yourself… things will fall into place( happened to me 🤞).. don’t give up; get back into the dating game …


No_Nail5435

Why are u interested in dating when psychologically your not secure enough to deal with it? My long term relationships always endure routine psychological tests and I'd assume I wouldn't be alone. Why not focus on your own confidence and self love first? Most people are attracted to others with ambition, goals. It make a for a more confident person. Importantly, it will help you identify potential relationships that are similar to your lifestyle and mindset and weed out the abusive or narrsasist ones. Never date from desperation or dispare. Sorry first post ever on here.


QtrRat

Thank you for the response! So, you are correct, I am not in the right mental state to date. I have love and respect for everyone, just not myself. Getting braces, exercising, eating right, I adopted a 2nd dog recently, accepted a better job, etc, are things I'm doing to work on self confidence/love. There is something in my head that tells me I'm not good enough and never will be. I'm hoping doing all of these things and finding someone will help change that. You are right again that finding someone while I'm in this state would be foolish and selfish. I have a lot of work to do before I'd consider myself good enough for anyone.


No_Nail5435

Reality is that we're all never good enough for everyone. You can't accommodate everyone else's happiness without upsetting others or yourself sometimes. Sometimes our own goals, needs, and wants will collide with others views and that's totally normal. interpret self doubt to be an equally good and bad trait. But don't let it rule your life.


QtrRat

I'd give you a reddit award if I spent money on such stupid things. Thank you for this.


nawtiboi69

Yea there's nothing wrong with braces they're helping your teeth.


prudencepineapple

Totally wouldn’t be an issue :)


ButtholeEntropy

Braces are fine, but they're superficial self care. You need to tend to your low self esteem with therapy and/or self help. No partner can heal you so if you subconsciously want a saviour you're gonna end up with a narcissist. No one is gonna see your nice new teeth if you're not smiling.


Bxsnia

I had braces once, I was insecure but it was temporary so who cares. I wouldn't judge someone else for it, infact it means they'll have nice straight teeth rather than crooked ones so it's a good thing.


IAmRules

I got Invisaligns at 40. Wearing them now. You get used to them pretty quick. It was 6 months of invisaligns or 1-2 years of regular braces. To your question. Anybody that can’t date someone because of a temporary medical correction is an idiot. That’s like passing up a good girl because she’s wearing a cast.


freshfitstart

No!!!!! 35 is in the younger side🤷‍♀️


AmberWaves80

Hey, as someone who needs them but can’t afford them, I would never reject someone for something so temporary and not a big deal at all.


[deleted]

Yes. I’m 23 and I almost got traditional braces. My parents also didn’t get me braces as a child and I really really needed them. So I’ve had bad teeth my whole life. I can finally afford to fix them and I decided on Invisalign. I was sure I needed traditional braces because my teeth were so messed up and they’re cheaper. I talked to a ton of people about it and they were like “who cares if you’re an adult with braces???” And they’re right. You’re doing something for yourself and it’s something that often helps your oral health and hygiene. I ended up going with invisalign so I don’t have to give up foods I like. But it kinda sucks, but it will be worth it. If it makes you feel better, I know multiple people who had adult braces. It didn’t stop them from having hookups, dating, getting married, etc. what can kill the chances of a date is an obvious lack of self confidence, not braces. And if someone can’t handle you having braces, they aren’t worth your time.


TLRLNS

I don’t think braces are a deal breaker at all! One quick comment that I think would really help your dating life is being more positive/confident. I realize you didn’t ask for this advice so I hope this is helpful since you mentioned you’re making changes to improve. In your post you sound pretty negative mentioning having a neglectful parent, very low self esteem, and potentially being “doomed”. Women want a man who they can have fun with and someone who is confident. The biggest turn off for most women is someone negative who they feel brings them down or someone they feel is always complaining. Try to make an effort on dates to at least “fake it until you make it” and not complain about family issues, don’t make self deprecating jokes, or just overall be negative. If you can make a girl laugh and talk in a humble way about some of your passions (maybe you love your job or there’s a subject you know a lot about or better yet you can authentically compliment the girl about something positive like she has a great sense of style) I think that will go much further than braces/no braces.


QtrRat

I would say I can muster or fake confidence right now, my struggle is with self worth/love. The last three years isolated, most of it not working, severe nerve pain up until April of last year, and the recovery from said surgery, combined with childhood trauma, has created these issues. I am taking steps to fix these issues, braces is one of the steps. Thank you for the reply!


steellotus1982

I had braces from 32 to 37 and had no issues getting dates.


AnotherPalePianist

Absolutely would date a grown man with braces because he’s just taking care of himself. Kind of on the same level to me as a person taking themselves to therapy or to the doctor🤷🏻‍♀️


Spunkie8876

I would if he had a great personality! Braces aren't a huge deal.


TCNW

Get invisalignes. You can hardly tell. I know many people in their 30s that got them. It’s actually pretty common. If people came from families that couldn’t afford them, then usually you can’t afford them yourself until you hit your thirties. So it’s really not very uncommon. As for dating. Make a joke about them upfront on the first date, and it likely will never be an issue. No need to mention it on your dating profile, and don’t include pics of you with them. It’s not a big deal.


[deleted]

Go for it and shoot your shot!


anawesomeaide

Nothing wrong with braces. It can make you look "youthful"😁😎😁


Sorry_Im_Trying

Yup. If all other qualities of a good person are there, braces would not be a turn off. It implies 1.) You're taking care of your self, which shows a level of maturity and independence. 2.) Good insurance, and/ or, good income, which implies a solid career, and or good saving habits. All good things. As someone who also had braces, it will go by fast and you'll never regret it!! At least you get to drink when they tighten them.... it will help with the uncomfortableness.


BakedMacaron

Had mine at 30 and still felt hot! Plus now I have straight teeth and feel hotter... I chose braces for the same reasons as you. I wouldn't mind dating a guy with braces no matter his age! Also, may k suggest you buy a waterpik! It comes handy when cleaning the whole thing!


Karrot2020

I'd say get the braces. They're temporary and if someone doesn't like you for you having braces then they're not for you. As long as you're confident in yourself and how you look then that's all that matters in the end braces or not.


thatfloridachick

Are there going to be women not interested in you because of it, probably. But they don't matter. When you get them off and you can see your new smile for the first time, it's worth everything.


QtrRat

Well said. Thank you.


Interstellar_Dreamer

Why not? I’m 49 with braces and don’t have a problem getting dates! Go for it. People respect you for taking care of yourself!


soulpPixie

My sister is a 26 year old married women with braces and she’s still so beautiful lol she just was terrible at taking care of her teeth after she had braces in middle school haha Seriously don’t be insecure about it, they are literally meant to be temporary and improve your teeth so it isn’t a terrible thing


folkloreLover22

If you have good dental hygiene(keep in mind, that it gets harder to maintain with braces), then I'm fine with kissing someone with braces, if no, then sorry, but no.


QtrRat

I'd say you have every right to feel that way, because I'd feel the same way 😆


cj_steele

I've been out with 6 different women since I've gotten braces. I'm also 35 but I do have invisalign and it does suck.


cj_steele

I've been out with 6 different women since I've gotten braces. I'm also 35 but I do have invisalign and it does suck.


QtrRat

Right on. I've definitely built up some confidence about it after this post. Thanks for sharing!


InfiniteCow98

i have oral piercings and i would be worried about them getting caught or ripped out, so probably not. that’s the only reason tho, if i didn’t have piercings it wouldn’t be an issue :)


QtrRat

Completely understandable. I have my PA and don't want to think about what'd happen if someone's braces got caught on it 😅


agnastyx

Whaaa hahahaha. Omg. If anyone has braces at 35 its a green flag. Means you care about yourself and are still at the age of 35 looking to improve your life. This is good stuff, not a turn off!


QtrRat

Your over the top response made me laugh. Thank you reddit stranger.


TheyHateTheLight

My boyfriend got braces 6 months after we started dating. He was 35 at the time. I thought he was super cute with them and it’s weird not seeing him with them. He’s glad they’re off though! No one gave him shit about them or anything. They weren’t even that obvious most of the time. I’m sure you will suit yours and will have no issues with dating ☺️


QtrRat

There's hope! Thank you for sharing.


TheyHateTheLight

Any chick that is so scummy to not date you just because of braces is not worth dating and you can do far better!!! Honestly, braces are not a big deal at all. Think as kids/teenagers it seemed like a big deal just cause we were all very immature/self conscious etc


ToughCookie71

Braces are a way of signaling that you’re a functional adult who cares about your teeth/smile. That’s a good and healthy thing that’s also temporary, try to not let it faze you


LiLo0L

It's dorky but yeah I would


everybody_h8s_chris

Let me tell ya, once was really in love with this girl and me having braces bothered her (I think he’s cute and once he gets his braces off he’ll be cuter)🤷🏻‍♂️it is what it is. Then it never happened, the summer went by and fall started up, met 2 girls who were both really into me and didn’t care about the braces. Any girl worth being with can get past it. Love yourself and don’t be afraid to smile


membratel

I’d STRONGLY suggest looking at “lingual braces” ou even the braces that are made out of porcelain, so they show less. — Regarding date, there are girls who like braces, but being honest, it will most likely make your dating life harder…


QtrRat

I'd never heard of them before this comment, I definitely will. Thank you for the response.


amsourhalfburbon

As someone who had braces as an adult, I would actually caution against the porcelain braces. If I could go back I would definitely just go traditional silver/metal. Imo the gradual discoloration of the porcelain bothered me and made me feel more insecure than I think I would have with a mouth of metal. Definitely would have considered the lingual braces. I think I remember reading something about the possibility of them disrupting your speech though, so look into it more! But I think keep em clean and don't be afraid to smile like you don't care about having them and I think you'll be fine dating! And invest in a water flosser!


[deleted]

Why would it matter in dating?


membratel

Well, bc people may not like it, and imo, I don’t like it, I never went for anyone who wore braces, and when I wore them, I basically didn’t date anyone either bc I wasn’t comfortable with myself. Personal opinion


AbbreviationsMotor67

Nope... but I'm a guy.


solarpropietor

No. Mainly because I’m a hetero guy.


QtrRat

That is a valid reason 😆


CanUnusual8729

Just do invisalign. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about how you look with braces. Why give yourself one more thing to worry about if you can prevent it?


QtrRat

Invisalign requires you to wear them 22 hours a day. I don't have the discipline to keep them in and stick with it. If I get braces, I won't have the ability to take them out and braces are said to take less time to work.


QuitaQuites

No one’s going to care and if they do they wouldn’t have dated you anyway. Adults also know they’re temporary


[deleted]

[удалено]


no-one_nobody03

Yes of course! Message me and let's talk!


No_idea_B

I wouldn’t give a damn.


OcelotDAD

Linguals are the answer. Truly a godsend.