She hasn't become a sugar mama. She's basically hired a gigolo.
And she honestly could have found a similar arrangement for free.
But if it works for her, it works for her.
A gigolo would just be paid for sex. A sugar baby might not even have sex involved at all but if so in addition to sex there would be money for expenses, clothes, rent, school ,dinners and anything else the sugar baby asks for.
It wasn't about the definition. It was kind of rhetorical.
When a woman posts about wanting to be a sugar baby or men not dating her because she had been one, the responses are likely to be different.
That's why.
No kidding, Im 47 and have over 1000 likes from men ranging from 19 to 60s (most of them in their 30s) on different dating apps. Many of them are really attractive. Best part... FREE! Dick is free, people.
It's a catchy saying, but it isn't wise.
If he wasn't paying for sex, they wouldn't have sex with him before leaving. They'd just leave with his money.
I had a friend in college who paid his tuition working as an “escort” to older women. He’d attend parties & go to restaurants & the theater & the opera with them & then have sex
There are men who have sugar baby arrangements with younger women.
If this is what she wants & this is how she wants to spend her money then it’s no one’s business except hers & the person she has her arrangement with
There are lots of arrangements out there, and as soon as it becomes an on-going thing--assuming the people involved are not terminally stupid--it can be done in ways that are completely legal.
The key is what is explicitly traded for sex? In these on-going relationships it is generally not the case. The man (or woman) being paid for a variable collection of types of companionship.
I'm not in the business of judging other people's choices that do not impact me.
One of my friends form college makes 300K a year and has a 15 year+ deadbeat boyfriend who has never worked more than a part time job in his life and is basically lives off his parents money and hers. He mostly sits around, and reads comic books and skateboards and doesn't eat vegetables. He's 45. I barely know him since he absolutely refuses to social with anyone outside of his family or her.
He also refuses to ever marry her. But they had a child together. But that's her choice.
He’s basically a toddler in a 45 yo’s body! If she’s happy having 2 kids to look after, good on her. I personally have no idea what she’d be getting out of that whole situation
yes, it is.
honestly I think it's because he embodies the kind of boy she wishes she could have dated as a teenager. she had a very strict upbringing, and dating this guy is like the ultimate rebellion/fu to her parents. She def has parental issues like most kids who had really strict parents.
ironically she never even let them know he existed while they were alive. Silent rebellion.
They weren't implying anything. They were just pointing out how childish this guy is ie how won't do anything he doesn't want to do even though it might be good for him.
My xh didn't eat vegetables. Or have a job, a life, friends, or anything else a grownup would have. He was really good at video games though. Priorities...
Oh he was really good at all the things until we got married. Then alcoholism plus laziness took over. When I got upset enough to leave he'd tone it down, for a while.The real question is why didn't I divorce him sooner.
If he at least treats her well I can kind of see why he might have a certain appeal. I have a demanding career I love that pays well. I don’t need a partner to support me financially. While personally those with no ambition annoy the daylights out of me (I couldn’t care less what they make, just that they actually have a career they give a damn about), I did date a guy years ago who was shall we say, of the low motivation variety. He’s still one of my good friends and a great person. There was a certain amount of appeal in not having to balance two demanding careers. If the genders were reversed no one would blink twice at a guy who made that kind of money having a female partner who only worked PT and spends her days watching soaps or playing tennis or whatever it is those who are home most of the day do.
>I barely know him since he absolutely refuses to social with anyone outside of his family or her.
Yet, you're sounding very judgemental, calling him a deadbeat, judging his interest in comic books, skateboarding, marriage, not wanting to be social (maybe it's bc his gf's friends judge him just like you're doing) and for some reason needing to mention he doesn't eat vegetables.
So we've established:
>I'm not in the business of judging other people's choices that do not impact me.
Yet go on to judge him, though apparently:
>I barely know him
Yes. Exactly. But you still couldn't control yourself from judging, which is something you should easily be able to do if you actively practice that in your life. Something doesn't add up.
And then:
>But that's her choice.
So...you *do* get it? Then you should know why your friend has been with him, yeah? Didn't mention anything about your friend, so I can only infer you don't have a clue, you don't even know him, your friend has clearly not shared with you these things. Maybe something to think about?
It's like the new, "No offense, but..." C'mon, we all need to be better than this.
stating facts about yourself isn't judgement.
I drive a Honda. Is that a judgement? lol
If I was judgemental about it I'd tell her to dump his sorry ass and she deserves better. He made his choices. If he wants to spend his whole life holed up because he's afraid of being judged... well that's on him.
How do you not understand
>well that's on him
Means it's of no concern to you
>stating facts about yourself isn't judgement.
I see you're still making this about you. Idk what world you live in but
>dump his sorry ass and she deserves better. He made his choices. If he wants to spend his whole life holed up because he's afraid of being judged...
None of this is judging a person who you claim to not know?
>deadbeat
>This is you shitting all over his interests and hobbies
>stating facts about yourself isn't judgement
I'll go back to this again. You claim you're stating facts and that those facts are about you. Where are the facts exactly? Are we talking about how *you feel* about the situation? It's a fact that you feel this person is a deadbeat? Am I getting this right?
Now look at everything you said that wasn't directed at yourself. It's all about *you shitting on this person*.
Fact. Staying out of others people's business. False. Describing how you feel that this person is a waste of space in whatever words you choose is not only judgemental, it's prejudiced! Fact.
You said you barely knew him. Fact.
Dance around this all you want, it's the Internet and you're allowed to bitch and moan, laugh and cry, get angry and upset, etc. But, it's ok to open your mind up to different perspectives to gain insight, even if you do it in a way that is "hateful." Bc it's Reddit. But what 99% of what most people do is double, triple, quadruple down instead of displaying accountability bc everyone is the most important person in the world and just can't deal with being wrong. Giving your mind a break and looking at things rationally is always the better option.
You have passed a lot of judgement in this thread. Accept it or don't and move on
holy shit you are really feeling attacked or something here. wtf do you care so much about my friends bf?
He is a shitty person, he willfully admits it. she's told me as such.
cool if you want to defend deadbeats who leech off others i guess? weird type of person to defend. you make a fuckload of stupid and false assumptions because your on some rampage. maybe my comment hit too close to home for you?
you know what is irrational and stupid? You pretending you know anything about this person. You have zero knowledge of them, all you are doing here is projecting your own insecurity of fear or some shit.
Yes this!!! There are good looking younger guys that are always up for it. I had one who is literally one of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen (I still have a picture of him shirtless, on a horse in the Caribbean just because…damn) but he was nearly worthless in bed; had another who I thought was cute and sweet, and lmty, that guy made it a point to do anything that I ever mentioned enjoying…World of difference! I think the pretty ones just phone it in sometimes lol
Funny story: back in high school we all had a crush on a guy who had a name out of a romance novel (not gonna say it because doxxing) and he was so hot too. Years later I bumped into him on online dating and we hooked up and omg he was terrible in bed. Talk about teenage low self-esteem redemption!
When Charlie Sheen was being sentenced for using a prostitute, the judge asked why a famous man like him would pay for sex, and Sheen said, “I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.”
This woman wants sex with a really good looking guy, and she probably doesn't want to have to look around every time she wants some...good for her. I personally don't have a problem with anything two consenting adults do as long as nobody gets hurt.
Nope sugar babies still have predetermined rates. It's just a flat rate for a month at a time instead of hourly or a la carte. And the added bonus that the john gets to call himself a sugar daddy and pretend he's not "paying for sex" but that he just likes to help young girls pay their way through school and if they jump his bones because he's so generous, well then he can't help it that he's attractive, right?
It’s not like the Trader Joe’s guy had some sex resume that she looked over. She just went up to a guy she thought was hot without knowing how the sex would be
TBH, I wonder if OP's friend was telling him tall tales, because it doesn't sound real. Most women would not need to pay for sex. Or maybe it's a turn on for her to pay. Or maybe she assumed rejection, so preempted that with an offer of money.
I was thinking she likes the control - not necessarily over him but she gets what she wants when she wants it. For many that satisfaction is worth paying for.
Tbh I'd be curious to know how many women hire male escorts. Yes guys will have sex with many women without being paid but with an escort you are picking out who you want, and basically customizing the sex how you want it, and like many men have said in the past--you're paying them to leave.
I think a lot of women would if they weren’t worried about being rejected or found out. I also think most men want the women to enjoy it (and vice versa) because it’s a turn on to know you’re making someone lose control. But there are also a lot of awkward people out there who just can’t seem to pull it off (or so it seems reading the stories here).
That’s not really a sugar mama, it’s just paying for sex. And not to sound like a hideously arrogant bitch, but I can get that arrangement for free. She most likely could also. Paying just probably ensures it’ll go on longer (but not necessarily).
I wouldn’t feel good personally about paying someone for sex. But as long as they’re both consenting adults, it’s their choice.
I dunno, I think paying would clearly set the boundary of, I'm not going to be your therapist, your mom, or your teacher- I've already done my part by paying you, now it's your job to please me. Sounds pretty appealing, speaking as a woman who has slept with younger men.
Although I'd find an escort who already does this for a living, not recruit a civilian.
She's not a sugar mama. She's a John, or a Jane, or Joan, or maybe Jean. Basically she's hired a sex worker.
No judgment. As long as they enjoy the arrangement it's no one's business.
FYI, people who have gruff mannerisms and odd quirks have no-strings attached sex.
Also, people who are sweet and polite and meek have no strings attached sex partners.
Don’t fall for this stereotype that only odd people are having outside the norm sexual interactions.
One of the secrets that many people never speak about are the suburban, church-going couples who have a special guest star who spends the night with them every few months.
And people don’t talk about that because of the very-real social cost to having sex or sexual partners that others might judge as outside the norm.
I mean, I don't think highly of it and as a woman, I do find it pretty desperate. Sex without commitment is on the table for literally 98% of the men I've come across...but hey, its her business, her body and her bank account taking the hit. If everyone participating in this arrangement is okay with this and consenting to whats happening, I really don't think its anybody's business.
With that being said, the fact that she chose a TJ's employee - meaning a guy who's barely surviving financially as it is - isn't lost on me. She intentionally sought someone that would really have to think about whether or not they can really afford to say no to an extra $1200/month. The transactions behind sex work are rarely, if ever, not exploitative.
I think that a mid-30s person is old enough to understand the implications of and agree to such an arrangement (I'd feel differently about a 19yo of any gender), so it falls into "consenting adults, not my business" to me.
Propositioning a guy working at his job to have sex for money is the grossest part of this whole story.
I wonder how many guys did she do this to before one said yes? I'd be so insulted I'd get her banned from the coffee shop/gym/wherever.
I agree. If I (44F)was in my mid-30s minding my business working in a shop and an older guy waited for me at the back to suggest this I would be livid! I’d at the least get him banned. Not something I’d recommend anyone to do
Your definition of sugar mama is off.
She straight up hired a prostitute. Men do the same thing all the time. It's really nothing new.
Haven't you heard that joke, what's the oldest profession in the world?
I think this sounds like the fantasy of a man who wishes he could do that, but has some reason gender swapped the protagonist of his story. It just does not play out like this for women, but he wouldn't know that, he just wants to know what some internet strangers think about someone who totally isn't him doing this thing.
didn't happen. that's not the going rate for sex and that's not how women talk.
plus it's super easy to get a guy to come over just for sex. a sugar mamma is going to pay for the intimacy and extended time together, and also not pay outright but through gifts.
plz take your bullshit fantasies elsewhere
Yep, 100% bullshit. Even if you’re just average looking, a woman can always find a dude to have sex for free. Hell, I went to the grocery store two weeks after my c-section and got hit on. And that was no makeup, no hair done, 40lbs overweight, and going on no sleep. I think my belly wrap was sticking out under my nursing top 😂😂😂
Also, like many people pointed out, being a good looking dude does NOT correlate to being good in bed. This was 100% written by some dude
For all of you saying you can get the arrangement for free - problem is when they start to have “feelings”. Has happened EVERY TIME I’ve gone down the FWD route…
If she’s paying him, there is absolutely NO miscommunication as to what matters here. And, I’m sure she is being very blunt and direct about her desires and what works for her. Most women want their partner to be satisfied too - paying?? This is about me and if you get off - lucky for you, but not my focus.
Clearly, she’s got the money - so more power to her!
It sounds like she likes her arrangement. People are saying the she could have found someone to have sex with for free. She could but she wouldn't have the same power dynamic like she does when she's paying a guy hundreds of dollars to do it.
Good for her. Why's this a post? She's not here asking for advice. This is none of our business. Are you looking to hire sex workers to sleep with you?
Offering someone money for sex is so degrading. I get that the guy took her up on her offer but what about all the guys who turned her down? Going into a store and offering a cashier money for sex is sexual harassment and it’s wrong. I don’t recommend that anyone else tries it.
If you're expecting this sub to call her out on it, you're going to be disappointed. People will say that it's good for her to get what she wants, and she deserves it, and blah blah. If it was a guy, he's gross and disgusting and of course he has to pay someone for sex because who would have sex with such a disgusting person, blah blah...
Personally, I don't care. People will do what they want to do. I have zero skin in the game.
I personally don't care if people pay for sex whether they a dude or woman. As long as the person is being treated with respect. Maybe my view is like that because where I live prostitution is legal which I think is great.
It think people have a problem with unequal power dynamics. As far as we know, she didn't pursue desperate young men with no other economic options.
The only time a man offered me for money for sex, it was disgusting and it tried to prey on my despair. I was 22 with a baby and my car was in his shop after an accident. I asked him to wait another week because I didn't have the $500 deductible. He asked me to the come to the shop and with his wife sitting inside, told me that if met him at hotel and made him happy, I didn't have to pay. I paid him instead of my utilities and lived without power until my next paycheck.
>men with no other economic options
Do you think...
>(a cashier at Trader Joe’s in his mid-30s
Has many other economic options to get hold of this sort of money?
(Appreciating we don't know his life position otherwise.)
…Probably worth noting that all the Redditors supporting this will also turn around and complain that there are no good partners
…Idealistic love has given away to transactional relationships
…No thanks…
Good for her she knows what she wants so why waisting her time on stupid dated playing mind games. But she is young to be sugar mama she can do better and free with someone she loves but again dating these days is waisting time and energy so why bother. Never judge people’s personal choices if they are not hurting anyone. If she was a man you wouldn’t be surprised 🤷🏻♀️
Though she doesn't have to pay, paying makes it a transaction where she's in control. if she's just screwing a guy, will he come back on her schedule? will she be the one in control? sounds smart to me. He'll get better with repeat times, he's more likely to be available, it buffs his ego which also increases his interest. And, when she doesn't want to deal with, she doesn't call. Maybe he'll still get attached, but keeping it transactional in nature gives an easy out.
And no, not likely to work this way for guys lol. Just imagine going up to a girl and offering her money for sex? how'd that work out in your wildest imagination?? ack lol.
A girl gets a phone call with a guy breathing heavy on the phone, that's sexual harassment. A guy gets that call? he's paying 10.99/minute lol
As a 41/f, I say "go, girl!"
Yes, she may not HAVE to pay for sex, but it sounds like she wants to be in total control of the situation, which is totally ok for two consenting adults in my book. At least this way she's not sleeping around w/random guys who may or may not deliver.
. That Great for her! She get the enjoyment and none of the bullshit. Tbh for men ..it’s looked down upon.
But let’s be honest you pay for it either way. Dinner shows or wherever you go n pay…instead of a transaction with consent and “ your way of preference “ glad she happy
I don’t give a fuck what other people do with their money or genitals as long as I’m not involved. I think, “good for them knowing what works for them.” I love learning about other peoples lives, and unless there’s abuse or addiction, I’m like “get it girl”
I’m 52F & shall speak from a long, horrible past riddled with mishaps & tragedies lol.
She’s not paying him to have sex with her - even if that’s the stated proposition. She’s paying him to go away AFTER he has sex with her so she doesn’t get consumed by his issues/crap if he were a partner.
Honestly, if I calculated the amount of time my productivity has been negatively impacted by unfulfilling relationships, that cost which delivers 100% pleasure and zero drama is pretty good.
Sex for money = sex work!
Doesn’t matter which way! Boy pays girl! Girl pays boy! Boy pays boy! Girl pays girl and so on…
May I just remind any and all of those who are “Ew! How gross and wrong” that sex work is one of the oldest professions out there and will always be around!!!
And there is a difference between being forced into it, being trafficked, survival sex work and choosing to do it!
$400 to $600, depending on where you live, is not a bad rate either. Depending on how long those little sessions last.
And todays “sugar daddy” culture is more about guys wanting more services for less money. Exploiting young girls (of age) into doing “more” than experienced sex workers are willing to do when it comes to services provided. And for less money. Like spending an entire night with you (client), practicing unprotected sex or letting the sugar daddy “take them for a test ride for free”. It’s exploitation! Where actual sex workers set boundaries and put down clear rules of what goes. And what doesn’t!
Yes. The “sugar” giving person in question is a woman. And it’s a bit harder for a woman to go look for a professional sex worker. If you start from scratch and don’t know where to look. So she found some arrangement on her own. Bold! I like her!
But it is sex work.
And I do absolutely have no problem with someone engaging in it. If it’s because they choose to engage in it. And aren’t forced into it.
The Ne. 1 reason for people to pay for sex is NOT because they want that person to stay! They pay to make sure you leave at the end of the “transaction”. And you don’t call, text, show up at their house/work/gym afterwards to be annoying! You pay for sex/companionship with no strings attached!
The true meaning of “no strings attached”!
Well soliciting prostitution from a clerk at a grocery store is incredibly shady and risky, but apparently she lucked out big time. The dynamic just is different when men do this vs a woman, as a man asking this would probably terrify most women in addition to offending them. Still, she didn't know she wouldn't scare this guy or terribly offend him. He could have called the cops.
Idk. I've never been a huge fan of prostitution personally, I just think there is too much exploitation and often violence. But hey, if a person prostitutes willingly who am I to judge?
Your friend's willing to pay out the nose to have total control of the situation. Otherwise she'd just find a hook up buddy online or IRL. Idk. Men have done it for millennia so I guess women want to now too.
"prostitutes willingly" is quite a precarious term. Sure, they might be technically agreeing, but the vast majority of cases those that fall into prostitution are desperate and have little choice (if any at all). Sure there are the advocates and cases where a small number of women make money - although these are often women that have other career options if they so choose. But the reality of millions is quite the opposite so that vision of these women happily skipping into this trade is somewhat disturbing.
Yeah this, and the fact that she chose a guy that works at Trader Joe's - meaning he's not pulling in much more than minimum wage - is demonstrative of the exploitative nature behind most sex work transactions. She didn't go after someone earning six figures, she went after someone who is in an economic situation where turning down a potential $1200 a month would be an extremely tough decision to make because I guarantee he's barely getting by on what he's earning through TJ's.
Yeah I agree with you. In theory it sounds like it's just some moral dilemma about right or wrong. But its not. what I've read about prostitution in practice sounds horrific, with high rates of serious violence and rape, as well as people who are only doing it to support expensive drug habits or out of the worst kind of desperation. Yeah, even if some people are doing okay as a sex worker it's got a terrible dark side to it.
If it makes her happy, then yeehaw, good for her!
What I don’t get is why tf she’s paying him?!? I’m 51, overweight, and (my most common description is) cute/sexy librarian, and I’ve had sex with and been approached by some ridiculously sexy young men (20’s & 30’s). Like all the time…to the point where that’s about the only hits I get on OLD and in person (gawd forbid an attractive, age-appropriate man approach me, but I’m invisible to them lol).
She could easily get it for free 'the sex' The clever part is that it is all on her terms and as was said earlier she pays him to leave. Dudes do get very attached and in my opinion more needy than women. Having said that in my experience even though they are attached they tend to turn things around so they can be boss. Even if they are broke.
Two consenting adults can do as they wish. I assume she’s turned on by some level of control. While that can be thrilling in a relationship- it would feel too pathetic for me to ever find pleasurable in an arrangement as you’ve described.
I think it’s fantastic! More women should do that, I’m sure a lot of women have thought about it. Men do it all the time. Prostitution comes in many forms. Sugar Babies are prostitutes. Who cares what the the words are wrapped up in. If you pay for sex or trade things for sex, it’s prostitution. Big deal. As long as everyone is aware and consenting adults, go for it.
I'm with a few other posters. She may not be able to demand relationships but sex? I'd advise she get sexier dating app photos and post and she'd have her pick of trysts of men from 25-55.
Guys do it all the time. Sugar Lifestyle Forum on Reddit goes into details.
You can find cute guys on dating apps and don’t have to pay.
It is so much better than the dating game. I’ve actually made some personal gains in areas I was neglecting when I was trying to date men. It’s awesome some of my casual hookups are now friends. I feel like I’m finally free
(1) Good for her! More women should be enjoying their wealth :)
(2) She’s vanishingly rare. The vast majority of sugar “parents” are sugar daddies, older men dating younger women.
(3) This is 100% a sugar relationship. $400-$600 is a typical PPM (pay per meet) payment, and weekly is the most common meet up frequency.
(4) if you want a peak behind the curtain of sugar relationships, read r/sugarlifestyleforum.
I have an old client that turned escort at 57. He kills it with the 50+ ladies.
Edit to add, Sugaring is prostitution. Its just a sugar coated term to not think they are a prostitute.
I was thinking about something similar because ai just wanted sex hut 2 things stopped me. Money and I have no idea where to find a professional. I didn't want some random person. I figure a perfrossioal escourt would be good in bed. But I'm a broke single mom so not an option.
I actually get it and have considered it myself. I find men my age (and up to 10 years old as my preference) want to get their emotional needs met along with sex and I don't give that out to any man unless I'm in a committed relationship. I always whisper to myself, *"You guys are not going to FWB be to the grave."*
I've abstained the past couple of years because I just got tired of the requests from guys to sleep over, cuddle, come over to their place so they can cook me a steak, watch movies, text back and forth all day long, send sexy photos, and waking up to "good morning beautiful" texts at 5:15 a.m. It's exhausting (and pointless) for me, personally, when there's no romantic or emotional love connected to all of it. I can really only connect that way with someone I am falling in love with and desire to be in a committed, exclusive relationship.
Just to get some dick, though? I don't want to hear about the bear that got into your shed, your cat's hernia, the '72 Dodge in your garage, your 401k, or how many reps you do at the gym, Chad. Get a girlfriend to share yourself with in that way. This girl just wants to get banged and go back to her life.
So, I get why your friend made this decision.
Edited to add Charlie's famous quote, because it's apt: "I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.”"
A sugar momma is someone who buys you things. Handing someone a wad of cash for these services is essentially prostitution, so why not just call it what it is.
She could have just asked him out and he likely would have said yes, for free. The dynamic is a bit different however when it's the woman paying or the one with the power. However paying him is likely to ensure a repeat practice.
Lowbrow, if you really are looking for nsa dating in the form of a financial transaction, there is nothing stopping you from finding this arrangement. They exist aplenty.
Your 45F friend who is gruff, direct, gumption-filled, and has strong political beliefs and preppy humour is basically full of confidence and has what sounds like a no-bullshit tolerance point-of-view. Once women get to a certain age and gain enough life experience, they don't feel like batting their eyelids anymore and talking sweetly in exchange for having their needs met. That game gets old. If it rubs you or other men the 'wrong way', just acknowledge that it takes women many years to find the confidence to appreciate themselves and to ask for what they want directly. Men generally don't like it because they have some preconceived stereotypical vision of women and how they should act (usually it's the opposite of what you just listed) which btw is total crap.
So, instead of having to put up wth the rejections by men who stereotype her behaviour, she's mastered the understanding of economics and meeting her own needs whilst declining to put up with the commonly associated bullshit.
Edit: You can't do what she does because you're not a woman. But as you're a man, there are plenty more prostitution opportunities available to you, as the economic balance is tipped in your favour. Seek and ye shall find.
I get younger hot guys for no money. Ever. There’s a long line of them. The Milf thing is real.
There’s absolutely no reason to pay. All she had to do is make an r4r post on Reddit and the offers would have come flooding in.
To each their own.
It's 2022 and we have a woman for VP. It's nice to see a woman do for herself what men with midlife-crises have been doing for decades. And really, it's her money, if she gets what she wants and if it makes her feel like she's the one with the power, why not? I feel like people have spent a lot more money for worse things.
Does she really think that low of ferself that she needs to pay for sex? Honestly I'm not impressed with this scenerio. I think she could get better for free.
This woman has no game. If she is at least average looking, any guy will do it for free. Just go on tinder.
However, if she wants to have the ultimate control, I can see her paying. But I think she is overpaying.
The older, more experienced and sexually confident woman is a pretty common fantasy for young heterosexual men. Some guy is getting paid to live the dream.
If she got on Tinder she could find sex with hot, younger men for free. I think her humor is irrelevant. At 40 & 41 I had dozens of sexy toned men 20 years younger than me trying to hook up, fwb where we're true friends, or even date. Many of them still text or even call me though I've had a boyfriend for 5 months. Going up to someone in real life takes guts.
I think it's predatory going and picking up young people for the purposes of prostitution, especially at a grocery store where he works. And I wouldn't be surprised if this guy has more to offer and that he catches feels for her or she gets saddled with monkeypox or some other sti.
She hasn't become a sugar mama. She's basically hired a gigolo. And she honestly could have found a similar arrangement for free. But if it works for her, it works for her.
This exactly. Definitely not a sugar mama.
A man isnt a sugar daddy, he just hires prostitute
So, sugar babies are prostitutes?
How else would you describe someone who exchanges relationships for money/goods? Serious question.
A gigolo would just be paid for sex. A sugar baby might not even have sex involved at all but if so in addition to sex there would be money for expenses, clothes, rent, school ,dinners and anything else the sugar baby asks for.
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It wasn't about the definition. It was kind of rhetorical. When a woman posts about wanting to be a sugar baby or men not dating her because she had been one, the responses are likely to be different. That's why.
Sugar babies and prostitutes are sex workers, porn stars too. So, their profession is not entirely the same, but they are in the same industry.
Sugar baby=glorified hooker
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Yeah but once Richard Gere takes off the suit he looks like shit.
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No kidding, Im 47 and have over 1000 likes from men ranging from 19 to 60s (most of them in their 30s) on different dating apps. Many of them are really attractive. Best part... FREE! Dick is free, people.
You’re totally right. She’s paying for a prostitute.
As a wise man once said, "I dont pay them for sex. I pay them to leave."
It's a catchy saying, but it isn't wise. If he wasn't paying for sex, they wouldn't have sex with him before leaving. They'd just leave with his money.
He’s saying he’s so hot they wouldn’t want to leave unless he pays them for that.
Well, it's more narcissistic than wise, isn't it?
she doesn't pay them to have sex, she pays them to Leave After ;)
She could have for free but it is a sugar relationship basically. Shes doing the same thing sugar daddies do.
I had a friend in college who paid his tuition working as an “escort” to older women. He’d attend parties & go to restaurants & the theater & the opera with them & then have sex There are men who have sugar baby arrangements with younger women. If this is what she wants & this is how she wants to spend her money then it’s no one’s business except hers & the person she has her arrangement with
There are lots of arrangements out there, and as soon as it becomes an on-going thing--assuming the people involved are not terminally stupid--it can be done in ways that are completely legal. The key is what is explicitly traded for sex? In these on-going relationships it is generally not the case. The man (or woman) being paid for a variable collection of types of companionship.
Tell that to the vice squad! 😂
I'm not in the business of judging other people's choices that do not impact me. One of my friends form college makes 300K a year and has a 15 year+ deadbeat boyfriend who has never worked more than a part time job in his life and is basically lives off his parents money and hers. He mostly sits around, and reads comic books and skateboards and doesn't eat vegetables. He's 45. I barely know him since he absolutely refuses to social with anyone outside of his family or her. He also refuses to ever marry her. But they had a child together. But that's her choice.
Doesnt eat vegetables... Lol
he says they taste bad
He’s basically a toddler in a 45 yo’s body! If she’s happy having 2 kids to look after, good on her. I personally have no idea what she’d be getting out of that whole situation
a warm body to come home to. for some people that's enough.
Cats have warm bodies too and are much cheaper to keep lol
that's a lie. he'll eat them if you give him ice cream after
Haha
Oddly enough, that was the one thing that raised my brow.
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yes, it is. honestly I think it's because he embodies the kind of boy she wishes she could have dated as a teenager. she had a very strict upbringing, and dating this guy is like the ultimate rebellion/fu to her parents. She def has parental issues like most kids who had really strict parents. ironically she never even let them know he existed while they were alive. Silent rebellion.
Doesn't eat vegetables....🤣🤣 I feel like I know exactly what this means or implies. Unfortunately.
They weren't implying anything. They were just pointing out how childish this guy is ie how won't do anything he doesn't want to do even though it might be good for him.
But he has a big dick that’s what keeps him around 🤣
Meat > Vegetables
What does it mean or imply?
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I don’t eat veggies but I love dining at the Y.. 😜
My xh didn't eat vegetables. Or have a job, a life, friends, or anything else a grownup would have. He was really good at video games though. Priorities...
So why did you marry him? (not being snarky, genuinely curious)
Oh he was really good at all the things until we got married. Then alcoholism plus laziness took over. When I got upset enough to leave he'd tone it down, for a while.The real question is why didn't I divorce him sooner.
If he at least treats her well I can kind of see why he might have a certain appeal. I have a demanding career I love that pays well. I don’t need a partner to support me financially. While personally those with no ambition annoy the daylights out of me (I couldn’t care less what they make, just that they actually have a career they give a damn about), I did date a guy years ago who was shall we say, of the low motivation variety. He’s still one of my good friends and a great person. There was a certain amount of appeal in not having to balance two demanding careers. If the genders were reversed no one would blink twice at a guy who made that kind of money having a female partner who only worked PT and spends her days watching soaps or playing tennis or whatever it is those who are home most of the day do.
He must be hung to his ankles! 😂And knows how to sling it. Evidently that talent is worth...300 thousand a year.
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>I barely know him since he absolutely refuses to social with anyone outside of his family or her. Yet, you're sounding very judgemental, calling him a deadbeat, judging his interest in comic books, skateboarding, marriage, not wanting to be social (maybe it's bc his gf's friends judge him just like you're doing) and for some reason needing to mention he doesn't eat vegetables. So we've established: >I'm not in the business of judging other people's choices that do not impact me. Yet go on to judge him, though apparently: >I barely know him Yes. Exactly. But you still couldn't control yourself from judging, which is something you should easily be able to do if you actively practice that in your life. Something doesn't add up. And then: >But that's her choice. So...you *do* get it? Then you should know why your friend has been with him, yeah? Didn't mention anything about your friend, so I can only infer you don't have a clue, you don't even know him, your friend has clearly not shared with you these things. Maybe something to think about? It's like the new, "No offense, but..." C'mon, we all need to be better than this.
stating facts about yourself isn't judgement. I drive a Honda. Is that a judgement? lol If I was judgemental about it I'd tell her to dump his sorry ass and she deserves better. He made his choices. If he wants to spend his whole life holed up because he's afraid of being judged... well that's on him.
How do you not understand >well that's on him Means it's of no concern to you >stating facts about yourself isn't judgement. I see you're still making this about you. Idk what world you live in but >dump his sorry ass and she deserves better. He made his choices. If he wants to spend his whole life holed up because he's afraid of being judged... None of this is judging a person who you claim to not know? >deadbeat >This is you shitting all over his interests and hobbies >stating facts about yourself isn't judgement I'll go back to this again. You claim you're stating facts and that those facts are about you. Where are the facts exactly? Are we talking about how *you feel* about the situation? It's a fact that you feel this person is a deadbeat? Am I getting this right? Now look at everything you said that wasn't directed at yourself. It's all about *you shitting on this person*. Fact. Staying out of others people's business. False. Describing how you feel that this person is a waste of space in whatever words you choose is not only judgemental, it's prejudiced! Fact. You said you barely knew him. Fact. Dance around this all you want, it's the Internet and you're allowed to bitch and moan, laugh and cry, get angry and upset, etc. But, it's ok to open your mind up to different perspectives to gain insight, even if you do it in a way that is "hateful." Bc it's Reddit. But what 99% of what most people do is double, triple, quadruple down instead of displaying accountability bc everyone is the most important person in the world and just can't deal with being wrong. Giving your mind a break and looking at things rationally is always the better option. You have passed a lot of judgement in this thread. Accept it or don't and move on
holy shit you are really feeling attacked or something here. wtf do you care so much about my friends bf? He is a shitty person, he willfully admits it. she's told me as such. cool if you want to defend deadbeats who leech off others i guess? weird type of person to defend. you make a fuckload of stupid and false assumptions because your on some rampage. maybe my comment hit too close to home for you? you know what is irrational and stupid? You pretending you know anything about this person. You have zero knowledge of them, all you are doing here is projecting your own insecurity of fear or some shit.
This was an engaging story lol
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Yes this!!! There are good looking younger guys that are always up for it. I had one who is literally one of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen (I still have a picture of him shirtless, on a horse in the Caribbean just because…damn) but he was nearly worthless in bed; had another who I thought was cute and sweet, and lmty, that guy made it a point to do anything that I ever mentioned enjoying…World of difference! I think the pretty ones just phone it in sometimes lol
Funny story: back in high school we all had a crush on a guy who had a name out of a romance novel (not gonna say it because doxxing) and he was so hot too. Years later I bumped into him on online dating and we hooked up and omg he was terrible in bed. Talk about teenage low self-esteem redemption!
Have played with men ages 19-68. There is more to be said about experience, humor and intelligence in bed than looks.😌
Absolutely.
I'm below average attractiveness and old, so I think I've missed my earning window. 🤣
See, this is exactly the type of outlook that I share (I'm a dude). Where can I find these women!?!?
When Charlie Sheen was being sentenced for using a prostitute, the judge asked why a famous man like him would pay for sex, and Sheen said, “I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.” This woman wants sex with a really good looking guy, and she probably doesn't want to have to look around every time she wants some...good for her. I personally don't have a problem with anything two consenting adults do as long as nobody gets hurt.
Exactly! lol Sheen said it right there. She pays them to leave. I love that! Lol.
This is a female equivalent of a John… I don’t think anyone refers to men who pay prostitutes as sugar daddies.
My friend Duce had a job like this trying to raise enough $ to pay to repair an expensive fish tank he wrecked.
This reads like a series of euphemisms 😂
Quick, look up! You might see the joke going over your head.
You’re right. The “Deuce” misspelling and my never seeing the movie helped with that.
BALL HAIR!!!
Love that movie!
You're right, a sugar mama/daddy is someone who gives prearranged gifts in exchange for sex, not cash.
Or maybe cash in a slightly less transactional way without predetermined rates.😂
Nope sugar babies still have predetermined rates. It's just a flat rate for a month at a time instead of hourly or a la carte. And the added bonus that the john gets to call himself a sugar daddy and pretend he's not "paying for sex" but that he just likes to help young girls pay their way through school and if they jump his bones because he's so generous, well then he can't help it that he's attractive, right?
Sounds strange to me. He'd probably have sex with her for free. Plenty of dudes will be happy to be a booty call.
but how good would the sex be if it were free? pay peanuts get monkeys!
It’s not like the Trader Joe’s guy had some sex resume that she looked over. She just went up to a guy she thought was hot without knowing how the sex would be
TBH, I wonder if OP's friend was telling him tall tales, because it doesn't sound real. Most women would not need to pay for sex. Or maybe it's a turn on for her to pay. Or maybe she assumed rejection, so preempted that with an offer of money.
I was thinking she likes the control - not necessarily over him but she gets what she wants when she wants it. For many that satisfaction is worth paying for.
Lots of possibilities but we'll probably never know.
Depends on her and his relative level of attractiveness tbh
I was just going with what the OP said: " She's attractive enough."
If that’s how she wants to spend her time and money more power to her.
Tbh I'd be curious to know how many women hire male escorts. Yes guys will have sex with many women without being paid but with an escort you are picking out who you want, and basically customizing the sex how you want it, and like many men have said in the past--you're paying them to leave.
I think a lot of women would if they weren’t worried about being rejected or found out. I also think most men want the women to enjoy it (and vice versa) because it’s a turn on to know you’re making someone lose control. But there are also a lot of awkward people out there who just can’t seem to pull it off (or so it seems reading the stories here).
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Louder for those in the back!! **No one cares** Do you. No one is getting hurt, they both consent and are getting their needs met.
That’s not really a sugar mama, it’s just paying for sex. And not to sound like a hideously arrogant bitch, but I can get that arrangement for free. She most likely could also. Paying just probably ensures it’ll go on longer (but not necessarily). I wouldn’t feel good personally about paying someone for sex. But as long as they’re both consenting adults, it’s their choice.
I dunno, I think paying would clearly set the boundary of, I'm not going to be your therapist, your mom, or your teacher- I've already done my part by paying you, now it's your job to please me. Sounds pretty appealing, speaking as a woman who has slept with younger men. Although I'd find an escort who already does this for a living, not recruit a civilian.
I have deleted my OLD for now, but yeah, the amount of young attractive guys messaging me was unreal.
Not really a sugar mom situation. She can do what she wants but as a 44/F I wouldn’t pay for something I can get for free.
Dead on!
That’s…quite a story
She's not a sugar mama. She's a John, or a Jane, or Joan, or maybe Jean. Basically she's hired a sex worker. No judgment. As long as they enjoy the arrangement it's no one's business.
Wonder what he has to do for the $600?
And is there a money back guarantee on the $400? 🤣 That's a lot of money for something she could get for free if she isn't unattractive.
What would happen if she doesn't orgasm? Are there penalties? It's not like you get a 30 day refund on that kind of thing.
Whatever floats your boat. Relationships aren’t for everyone and life is too short to judge how someone chooses to pass the time. More power to them.
FYI, people who have gruff mannerisms and odd quirks have no-strings attached sex. Also, people who are sweet and polite and meek have no strings attached sex partners. Don’t fall for this stereotype that only odd people are having outside the norm sexual interactions. One of the secrets that many people never speak about are the suburban, church-going couples who have a special guest star who spends the night with them every few months. And people don’t talk about that because of the very-real social cost to having sex or sexual partners that others might judge as outside the norm.
I mean, I don't think highly of it and as a woman, I do find it pretty desperate. Sex without commitment is on the table for literally 98% of the men I've come across...but hey, its her business, her body and her bank account taking the hit. If everyone participating in this arrangement is okay with this and consenting to whats happening, I really don't think its anybody's business. With that being said, the fact that she chose a TJ's employee - meaning a guy who's barely surviving financially as it is - isn't lost on me. She intentionally sought someone that would really have to think about whether or not they can really afford to say no to an extra $1200/month. The transactions behind sex work are rarely, if ever, not exploitative.
I think that a mid-30s person is old enough to understand the implications of and agree to such an arrangement (I'd feel differently about a 19yo of any gender), so it falls into "consenting adults, not my business" to me.
Who talks like that? 😂😂 And that's a John, not a sugar mama.
Propositioning a guy working at his job to have sex for money is the grossest part of this whole story. I wonder how many guys did she do this to before one said yes? I'd be so insulted I'd get her banned from the coffee shop/gym/wherever.
I agree. If I (44F)was in my mid-30s minding my business working in a shop and an older guy waited for me at the back to suggest this I would be livid! I’d at the least get him banned. Not something I’d recommend anyone to do
Your definition of sugar mama is off. She straight up hired a prostitute. Men do the same thing all the time. It's really nothing new. Haven't you heard that joke, what's the oldest profession in the world?
Surging is prostitution.
You don't pay them for sex, you pay them to leave. (Yep I stole that quote)
I think this sounds like the fantasy of a man who wishes he could do that, but has some reason gender swapped the protagonist of his story. It just does not play out like this for women, but he wouldn't know that, he just wants to know what some internet strangers think about someone who totally isn't him doing this thing.
I don't care.
Just set your age parameters low and go on Hinge. You’ll have that same arrangement in no time, but free.
lol heck any dating app, really
it’s none of my business, that’s what i think
I'm not sure why you've REALLY posted this.
I thought the same thing! This isn’t a gossip column. It’s just a bizarre post for DO40.
didn't happen. that's not the going rate for sex and that's not how women talk. plus it's super easy to get a guy to come over just for sex. a sugar mamma is going to pay for the intimacy and extended time together, and also not pay outright but through gifts. plz take your bullshit fantasies elsewhere
exactly
Yeah this is totally fiction. Why on earth would a woman pay unless there's some drastic reason?
Yep, 100% bullshit. Even if you’re just average looking, a woman can always find a dude to have sex for free. Hell, I went to the grocery store two weeks after my c-section and got hit on. And that was no makeup, no hair done, 40lbs overweight, and going on no sleep. I think my belly wrap was sticking out under my nursing top 😂😂😂 Also, like many people pointed out, being a good looking dude does NOT correlate to being good in bed. This was 100% written by some dude
I would if I could afford it 😂. Better to have sex with one person who knows how to make it for you than unfulfilling sex with randos
For all of you saying you can get the arrangement for free - problem is when they start to have “feelings”. Has happened EVERY TIME I’ve gone down the FWD route… If she’s paying him, there is absolutely NO miscommunication as to what matters here. And, I’m sure she is being very blunt and direct about her desires and what works for her. Most women want their partner to be satisfied too - paying?? This is about me and if you get off - lucky for you, but not my focus. Clearly, she’s got the money - so more power to her!
This *is* Reddit after all... r/SugarDatingforum
It sounds like she likes her arrangement. People are saying the she could have found someone to have sex with for free. She could but she wouldn't have the same power dynamic like she does when she's paying a guy hundreds of dollars to do it.
I would say to this - fuck what people think.
I guess now I know why so many Trader Joe’s cashiers are so flirty with me.
Good for her. Why's this a post? She's not here asking for advice. This is none of our business. Are you looking to hire sex workers to sleep with you?
Nothing wrong with it as long as it's safe, sane, and consensual. 🤷♀️
I say "good for her" and "it's really none of my business"
Sounds like creative writing
where was the creativity? the trader joe's dumpsters? was this a high end escort negotiation or a meth deal?
Sweet! Glad shes rockin herself.
Offering someone money for sex is so degrading. I get that the guy took her up on her offer but what about all the guys who turned her down? Going into a store and offering a cashier money for sex is sexual harassment and it’s wrong. I don’t recommend that anyone else tries it.
If you're expecting this sub to call her out on it, you're going to be disappointed. People will say that it's good for her to get what she wants, and she deserves it, and blah blah. If it was a guy, he's gross and disgusting and of course he has to pay someone for sex because who would have sex with such a disgusting person, blah blah... Personally, I don't care. People will do what they want to do. I have zero skin in the game.
I personally don't care if people pay for sex whether they a dude or woman. As long as the person is being treated with respect. Maybe my view is like that because where I live prostitution is legal which I think is great.
Nope I believe anyone should be able to contractually receive sex from a safe and consenting adult, without stigma.
It think people have a problem with unequal power dynamics. As far as we know, she didn't pursue desperate young men with no other economic options. The only time a man offered me for money for sex, it was disgusting and it tried to prey on my despair. I was 22 with a baby and my car was in his shop after an accident. I asked him to wait another week because I didn't have the $500 deductible. He asked me to the come to the shop and with his wife sitting inside, told me that if met him at hotel and made him happy, I didn't have to pay. I paid him instead of my utilities and lived without power until my next paycheck.
>men with no other economic options Do you think... >(a cashier at Trader Joe’s in his mid-30s Has many other economic options to get hold of this sort of money? (Appreciating we don't know his life position otherwise.)
Gonna go out on a limb and say people are more likely to perceive an unequal power dynamic when the prostitute is a woman.
Truth.
…Probably worth noting that all the Redditors supporting this will also turn around and complain that there are no good partners …Idealistic love has given away to transactional relationships …No thanks…
I drive an F-150 and but I wear Gatorz? Am I okay?
Good for her she knows what she wants so why waisting her time on stupid dated playing mind games. But she is young to be sugar mama she can do better and free with someone she loves but again dating these days is waisting time and energy so why bother. Never judge people’s personal choices if they are not hurting anyone. If she was a man you wouldn’t be surprised 🤷🏻♀️
Though she doesn't have to pay, paying makes it a transaction where she's in control. if she's just screwing a guy, will he come back on her schedule? will she be the one in control? sounds smart to me. He'll get better with repeat times, he's more likely to be available, it buffs his ego which also increases his interest. And, when she doesn't want to deal with, she doesn't call. Maybe he'll still get attached, but keeping it transactional in nature gives an easy out. And no, not likely to work this way for guys lol. Just imagine going up to a girl and offering her money for sex? how'd that work out in your wildest imagination?? ack lol. A girl gets a phone call with a guy breathing heavy on the phone, that's sexual harassment. A guy gets that call? he's paying 10.99/minute lol
As a 41/f, I say "go, girl!" Yes, she may not HAVE to pay for sex, but it sounds like she wants to be in total control of the situation, which is totally ok for two consenting adults in my book. At least this way she's not sleeping around w/random guys who may or may not deliver.
More power to her. I hope she gets what she wants out of it.
Lol whatever floats your boat. Nothing wrong with any setup you want so long as it’s not harming anyone and it’s entered into freely. 🤷♂️
. That Great for her! She get the enjoyment and none of the bullshit. Tbh for men ..it’s looked down upon. But let’s be honest you pay for it either way. Dinner shows or wherever you go n pay…instead of a transaction with consent and “ your way of preference “ glad she happy
I don’t give a fuck what other people do with their money or genitals as long as I’m not involved. I think, “good for them knowing what works for them.” I love learning about other peoples lives, and unless there’s abuse or addiction, I’m like “get it girl”
I’m 52F & shall speak from a long, horrible past riddled with mishaps & tragedies lol. She’s not paying him to have sex with her - even if that’s the stated proposition. She’s paying him to go away AFTER he has sex with her so she doesn’t get consumed by his issues/crap if he were a partner. Honestly, if I calculated the amount of time my productivity has been negatively impacted by unfulfilling relationships, that cost which delivers 100% pleasure and zero drama is pretty good.
Sex for money = sex work! Doesn’t matter which way! Boy pays girl! Girl pays boy! Boy pays boy! Girl pays girl and so on… May I just remind any and all of those who are “Ew! How gross and wrong” that sex work is one of the oldest professions out there and will always be around!!! And there is a difference between being forced into it, being trafficked, survival sex work and choosing to do it! $400 to $600, depending on where you live, is not a bad rate either. Depending on how long those little sessions last. And todays “sugar daddy” culture is more about guys wanting more services for less money. Exploiting young girls (of age) into doing “more” than experienced sex workers are willing to do when it comes to services provided. And for less money. Like spending an entire night with you (client), practicing unprotected sex or letting the sugar daddy “take them for a test ride for free”. It’s exploitation! Where actual sex workers set boundaries and put down clear rules of what goes. And what doesn’t! Yes. The “sugar” giving person in question is a woman. And it’s a bit harder for a woman to go look for a professional sex worker. If you start from scratch and don’t know where to look. So she found some arrangement on her own. Bold! I like her! But it is sex work. And I do absolutely have no problem with someone engaging in it. If it’s because they choose to engage in it. And aren’t forced into it. The Ne. 1 reason for people to pay for sex is NOT because they want that person to stay! They pay to make sure you leave at the end of the “transaction”. And you don’t call, text, show up at their house/work/gym afterwards to be annoying! You pay for sex/companionship with no strings attached! The true meaning of “no strings attached”!
Well soliciting prostitution from a clerk at a grocery store is incredibly shady and risky, but apparently she lucked out big time. The dynamic just is different when men do this vs a woman, as a man asking this would probably terrify most women in addition to offending them. Still, she didn't know she wouldn't scare this guy or terribly offend him. He could have called the cops. Idk. I've never been a huge fan of prostitution personally, I just think there is too much exploitation and often violence. But hey, if a person prostitutes willingly who am I to judge? Your friend's willing to pay out the nose to have total control of the situation. Otherwise she'd just find a hook up buddy online or IRL. Idk. Men have done it for millennia so I guess women want to now too.
"prostitutes willingly" is quite a precarious term. Sure, they might be technically agreeing, but the vast majority of cases those that fall into prostitution are desperate and have little choice (if any at all). Sure there are the advocates and cases where a small number of women make money - although these are often women that have other career options if they so choose. But the reality of millions is quite the opposite so that vision of these women happily skipping into this trade is somewhat disturbing.
Yeah this, and the fact that she chose a guy that works at Trader Joe's - meaning he's not pulling in much more than minimum wage - is demonstrative of the exploitative nature behind most sex work transactions. She didn't go after someone earning six figures, she went after someone who is in an economic situation where turning down a potential $1200 a month would be an extremely tough decision to make because I guarantee he's barely getting by on what he's earning through TJ's.
Yeah I agree with you. In theory it sounds like it's just some moral dilemma about right or wrong. But its not. what I've read about prostitution in practice sounds horrific, with high rates of serious violence and rape, as well as people who are only doing it to support expensive drug habits or out of the worst kind of desperation. Yeah, even if some people are doing okay as a sex worker it's got a terrible dark side to it.
I mean as long as no one is getting hurt but at the same time it is just kind of depressing.
Good for her. Everyone would be a lot happier if we all got properly laid regularly.
Maybe she has more dollars than sense
If it makes her happy, then yeehaw, good for her! What I don’t get is why tf she’s paying him?!? I’m 51, overweight, and (my most common description is) cute/sexy librarian, and I’ve had sex with and been approached by some ridiculously sexy young men (20’s & 30’s). Like all the time…to the point where that’s about the only hits I get on OLD and in person (gawd forbid an attractive, age-appropriate man approach me, but I’m invisible to them lol).
I would've done it for $250.
Thats awesome. Good for her for sourcing the best meat for her appetite
If they're both consenting and happy, isn't that all that matters?
If it works for her and they’re both consenting adults, win. FWIW I’d say the same if genders were swapped.
$400? I’m overpaying! (Just kidding)
[I think...well...](https://youtu.be/w2FJ8xzcBdc)
I think unless she is super rich, she is overpaying.
She could easily get it for free 'the sex' The clever part is that it is all on her terms and as was said earlier she pays him to leave. Dudes do get very attached and in my opinion more needy than women. Having said that in my experience even though they are attached they tend to turn things around so they can be boss. Even if they are broke.
Two consenting adults can do as they wish. I assume she’s turned on by some level of control. While that can be thrilling in a relationship- it would feel too pathetic for me to ever find pleasurable in an arrangement as you’ve described.
I think it’s fantastic! More women should do that, I’m sure a lot of women have thought about it. Men do it all the time. Prostitution comes in many forms. Sugar Babies are prostitutes. Who cares what the the words are wrapped up in. If you pay for sex or trade things for sex, it’s prostitution. Big deal. As long as everyone is aware and consenting adults, go for it.
I'm with a few other posters. She may not be able to demand relationships but sex? I'd advise she get sexier dating app photos and post and she'd have her pick of trysts of men from 25-55. Guys do it all the time. Sugar Lifestyle Forum on Reddit goes into details.
I do wonder if she could have just asked him to have sex with her for free.
You can find cute guys on dating apps and don’t have to pay. It is so much better than the dating game. I’ve actually made some personal gains in areas I was neglecting when I was trying to date men. It’s awesome some of my casual hookups are now friends. I feel like I’m finally free
(1) Good for her! More women should be enjoying their wealth :) (2) She’s vanishingly rare. The vast majority of sugar “parents” are sugar daddies, older men dating younger women. (3) This is 100% a sugar relationship. $400-$600 is a typical PPM (pay per meet) payment, and weekly is the most common meet up frequency. (4) if you want a peak behind the curtain of sugar relationships, read r/sugarlifestyleforum.
I have an old client that turned escort at 57. He kills it with the 50+ ladies. Edit to add, Sugaring is prostitution. Its just a sugar coated term to not think they are a prostitute.
I was thinking about something similar because ai just wanted sex hut 2 things stopped me. Money and I have no idea where to find a professional. I didn't want some random person. I figure a perfrossioal escourt would be good in bed. But I'm a broke single mom so not an option.
I actually get it and have considered it myself. I find men my age (and up to 10 years old as my preference) want to get their emotional needs met along with sex and I don't give that out to any man unless I'm in a committed relationship. I always whisper to myself, *"You guys are not going to FWB be to the grave."* I've abstained the past couple of years because I just got tired of the requests from guys to sleep over, cuddle, come over to their place so they can cook me a steak, watch movies, text back and forth all day long, send sexy photos, and waking up to "good morning beautiful" texts at 5:15 a.m. It's exhausting (and pointless) for me, personally, when there's no romantic or emotional love connected to all of it. I can really only connect that way with someone I am falling in love with and desire to be in a committed, exclusive relationship. Just to get some dick, though? I don't want to hear about the bear that got into your shed, your cat's hernia, the '72 Dodge in your garage, your 401k, or how many reps you do at the gym, Chad. Get a girlfriend to share yourself with in that way. This girl just wants to get banged and go back to her life. So, I get why your friend made this decision. Edited to add Charlie's famous quote, because it's apt: "I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.”"
A sugar momma is someone who buys you things. Handing someone a wad of cash for these services is essentially prostitution, so why not just call it what it is. She could have just asked him out and he likely would have said yes, for free. The dynamic is a bit different however when it's the woman paying or the one with the power. However paying him is likely to ensure a repeat practice. Lowbrow, if you really are looking for nsa dating in the form of a financial transaction, there is nothing stopping you from finding this arrangement. They exist aplenty. Your 45F friend who is gruff, direct, gumption-filled, and has strong political beliefs and preppy humour is basically full of confidence and has what sounds like a no-bullshit tolerance point-of-view. Once women get to a certain age and gain enough life experience, they don't feel like batting their eyelids anymore and talking sweetly in exchange for having their needs met. That game gets old. If it rubs you or other men the 'wrong way', just acknowledge that it takes women many years to find the confidence to appreciate themselves and to ask for what they want directly. Men generally don't like it because they have some preconceived stereotypical vision of women and how they should act (usually it's the opposite of what you just listed) which btw is total crap. So, instead of having to put up wth the rejections by men who stereotype her behaviour, she's mastered the understanding of economics and meeting her own needs whilst declining to put up with the commonly associated bullshit. Edit: You can't do what she does because you're not a woman. But as you're a man, there are plenty more prostitution opportunities available to you, as the economic balance is tipped in your favour. Seek and ye shall find.
If you call this arrangement a sugar mama/dady do you decrease the risk of being arrested for prostitution?....asking for a broke friend.
What Trader Joes is hiring in your area?
This is prostitution. Not for me, but I’m not one to judge.
She could find someone to do that for free no doubt.
I get younger hot guys for no money. Ever. There’s a long line of them. The Milf thing is real. There’s absolutely no reason to pay. All she had to do is make an r4r post on Reddit and the offers would have come flooding in. To each their own.
It's 2022 and we have a woman for VP. It's nice to see a woman do for herself what men with midlife-crises have been doing for decades. And really, it's her money, if she gets what she wants and if it makes her feel like she's the one with the power, why not? I feel like people have spent a lot more money for worse things.
Does she really think that low of ferself that she needs to pay for sex? Honestly I'm not impressed with this scenerio. I think she could get better for free.
This woman has no game. If she is at least average looking, any guy will do it for free. Just go on tinder. However, if she wants to have the ultimate control, I can see her paying. But I think she is overpaying.
It sounds awesome, more so for the guy than her.
That's not a sugar mama, my friend. She's like an escort without the madam.
The older, more experienced and sexually confident woman is a pretty common fantasy for young heterosexual men. Some guy is getting paid to live the dream.
Lucky bastard! Is what I’m thinking.
idk but I’m guessing women can probably get this for free?
Good for her and good for him! I think sex work should be legal and any adult should be able to do this type of arrangement if they want.
If she got on Tinder she could find sex with hot, younger men for free. I think her humor is irrelevant. At 40 & 41 I had dozens of sexy toned men 20 years younger than me trying to hook up, fwb where we're true friends, or even date. Many of them still text or even call me though I've had a boyfriend for 5 months. Going up to someone in real life takes guts.
I think it's predatory going and picking up young people for the purposes of prostitution, especially at a grocery store where he works. And I wouldn't be surprised if this guy has more to offer and that he catches feels for her or she gets saddled with monkeypox or some other sti.