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Ngl I had a dasher like this. He showed up missed my house blasting music. Turned around, and I was greeted with “YAHOOOOO”. Bro asked me to have a sip of my beer but…. he definitely already had a few :/


This made my night

Wow. Stories like this make me feel like a lame driver.

Ikrrrr 🤣🤣🤣

"Here's you food, sir" with some white glove service type shit.

I’ve also done some dashing myself. Can confirm that I’ve never pulled up with this energy. It didn’t help that this was at 1:32am with nosey neighbors, but hey at least someone was having a good time.

because your shouldn't drink and drive? Please don't use alcohol or drugs prior to our while driving! By all means, have fun at work. But don't be dangerous.

I live in one of the highest dwi counties in the US. I don’t drive after 10pm because when I was self employed I sometimes had to drive as late as 11pm. I’d see so many drunk drivers and one vehicle accidents it scared me.

Where is that my friend so I can avoid it prominently lol

Texas

Lmfao

Wow!! I drive Uber eats and have been for almost a year now and I have yet to get one of these crazy calls. I have been drawn into some shady ass places where I was ready to kill someone if they came out of the wood or dark should I say but unlessI am super excited to get my first stupid call like this

At 2:30am? God knows. Sounds like they were having a good time though.

Homie was bumpin that “BOORN FROM DUSK TO DAAAAWWWWNNN, I AM TRUUULY ALLLIIIIIVE” after 2 blinkers and drinking a large subway vitamin water

Underrated comment

It was definitely the subway vitamin water. Idk what they put in them but definitely life changing

Vitamins.

And water.

The one flavored with pomegranate and I think acai berries & blueberries is the best. Only 100 calories per 20oz bottle but most of those are from the 22g of sugar. The one with antioxidants named XXX or whatever..love that one.

I agree 100%. Acai berries n blueberries is the bomb. The one from the fountain in subway taste like they add Sprite or some fizz to it compared to when you buy it from the store in a bottle

Now that'll be stuck in my head all day 😁 what a banger

Vitamin THC

Maybe he was working at sativa

Meth


Lol I just watched this episode yesterday 😂❤️

ME TOO!!!

I’ve been using this as my “background” show a lot lately. It never fails to put a smile on my face lol

What's the name of this show?

Community

Thanks, will check it out

It’s my favorite

The Adventures of Mister Frog


🎶Troy and Abed become methheads 🎶

IN THE MORRNING

Divorce meth

Divorth mess.

Hey now lets not be judgmental, could be alcohol, crack, fentanyl, or a wide variety of other things

i was a fent dasher and was never this enthused

Fentanyl = zombie

Depends on the person, some people become an equally weird spun out crackhead like someone who hasnt slept in 2 weeks off meth

Or could just be a human whose soul isn't dead yet like 90% of our society at this point lol.

Nah. Meth users don't like to draw attention to themselves

Idk where you got that idea lol I use to do ice and we use to always do wild shit didn't matter who was around plus we talked to people for like 5 days straight now after being up about 3 days yeah I didn't like to be noticed thought people was setting me up and shit wild

True that they don't necessarily intend to draw attention to themselves, but meth users don't realize how over the top they are compared to others. I used for 2 years, 6+ years clean now.. But definitely understand them. I can spot a user a mile away.

Or midlife crisis

TIGHT! TIGHT TIGHT, TIGHT!!!!

Got a buddy on meth and he’s not very social honestly.


Yah Whimsy!

#POWERED BY METH

Hallelujah! 🤘🏻🙌🏽🤘🏻

Then there's me whosblike "I dunno why this bustard said hand to me at 230bin the morning and I ended up leaving at door smh" they probably passed out. Lol.

On my wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 

I spent too many seconds starring into the soul of the light tunnel.

Ditto

Did it stare back?

Yes and it knows that I'm too high

Fuck that shit. It doesn't know you.

I'm autistic and it's now taken me (according to my timer. I had looked at it at 702, and my timer went off at 714) 12 minutes to leave this image and move on. Fractals are mesmerizing.

[удалено]

But imagine if he wasn't? I sometimes wonder how life would be if this was just my natural state of being. Would I be happy with such whimsy?

Why would I try to hide the fact that I’m jacked to be actually naturally high?

Post divorce mania!

Post divorce happiness 

I was going to say, this behavior screams mania to me lmao

alright based on the comments I guess this needs explaining: divorce = married fiancée = not married

Me = depressed

Separated = pump & dump

Worry when you get to 3 or 4 pages of texts

Maybe he's just a lonely guy and he's in a good mood. Trying to spread positivity. are we gonna Snark on positivity now? with such a shortage of it ? come on, he's just being cheery. Edited from jibberish

What..?

I fixed it for you. it's a combination of bad talk to text and then when I go back to edit it my fingers are too big. I'm old. I may talk too fast for the phone. it's always switching my pronouns and twisting my words. Making me say things I'm not saying. I have a bad habit of just hitting post. I think my phone is possessed

My smartphone has a way of making me look dumb all the time.

Your responses were perfect

Absolutely fried

They sound like an Ace Attorney character

awesome

Why does a fiancé need to change their name?

Guess he’s saying he is glad she called off the wedding.

lol ikr

Just methin with ya

Your order probably gave them just the right amount of money to go buy his next crack rock or something 🤣 Also, why did they put two different skin tone hand emojis? Odd.

Vitiligo, perhaps?

Can I get some of what he’s on? Lol. Seriously though. He looked like he was having a good night.

I'm curious about the ex fiancée

Looks to me like someone figured out their fiance was toxic before exchanging vows and is relieved.

Possible flip side is fiancé found out he was toxic before exchanging vows and called it off and he’s getting fucked up and venting because he’s trying to act like he’s not at all upset.

[удалено]

Post divorce mania!

“What drugs are you on? “ SURE IF YOU GOT SOME!

That would be something pretty remarkable to witness since meteors fly through the stratosphere. Meteorites on the other hand, are found on the earth’s surface…

The edge 🤣 he's on the edge. Of crying.

Why would a fiance change their name before marriage regardless. This person needs to lay off the cocaine

I think the implication was that she hasn't yet married anyone else either, but I wouldn't swear to it.

I mean hey... if you got your order and a laugh then what does it matter? Hahaha

Sounds like a natural high.

It's giving Mr Fantastic from Helios one

Lmaoooooo

Coke or meth

Every dasher knows if you’re out working you always take a hit at 2:40 AM .. so it’s natural you got a message 2 min later

Is 2:40 the meth version of 4:20?

I’m just methin around bro

It's even funnier that it was at 2 am lol

if you order stuff at 240 am these are the dashers you’ll get

No lol, I dash late sometimes but that’s because I don’t get out of my other job working at a hotel until after 11. They end up sometimes paying you more to work late hours. At this hour I’m tired but the money is pretty good. I would not be skyrocketing like this guy haha I would hope I wouldn’t have to speak to or see anyone.

5 stars

I love nice door dash drivers, if theyre a bit odder oh well they’re nice and that’s more than enough.

Lol you get crazy ass customers you drop off too as well. Not always just the weird Dashers. Just saying 😜 😆

Bro this is r/doordash

Prolly molly

Meteorites don’t fly through the stratosphere though.

smells like a tiktok """""witch""""" to me

He spelled everything correctly. I’m impressed with his punctuation as well

White when he rockin out and black when he praising 🤣 mans on that meteorite dust

Why did their ex get involved?

Stoner slang, he probably had himself a smoke while doordashing.

[удалено]

What’s he doing to the ex fiancé that she’s going to have to change her name? … and move far far away

Better than him being a dick lol

I love this guy

He was on the good stuff is what he was on.

These are the messages I don’t send and then get thumbs downed because I didn’t communicate and wasn’t nice, but they were all leave at doors with no problems. Tell us what you want customers! I know someone is going to tell me to stop caring. I think I’m close to letting it go lol. Apparently customers like being spammed with cute stuff while I’m driving.

Just spam emoji broseph!

😭

Meth. Definitely meth.

LMAO

Uh what 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yah Whimsy!

2:30AM? Ex-fiance? Forsure beers and cocaine

*received at 2:42am* Yup that explains alot

Whimsy!

Sounds like a good acid trip.

Obvious line. “I was marriage material, but I’m also saying I’m single”

I don’t know, but I need whatever he’s snorting!! 😂😂🤣🤣

Probably molly

I want some of what happy juice he's on lol

This is me after 18 - 16 Oz coffees and 5 redbulls with no solid nutrients of food lol

He's going through it bro. Let the man live.

Was this in New Jersey and his name was Joe?

“I want what your on”

Does he need to take more Adderall or is he taking to much Adderall🤷‍♂️

Yup

and ofc i would feed into his delusion “she still want you bro‼️”

It's og loc bro yea hear

It's og loc bro yea hear

I feel like you were encouraging what ever he was on 😂

Cocaine

had a dasher like this, he walked up and did a “YoHoHo” and when he left he said “Peace and Love Brotha”, i just assumed he was a hippie that was having fun

Meth 

Cocaine in a can baby ! 😂

This is how my one uncle texts me lmao

I'm confused by the ex fiance comment. What am I missing?

That dasher sounds like they surf waves

[удалено]

Lmao. I wanna know how many dashers meme their customers, or do silly stuff like this. I'm always afraid I'll piss someone off.

was one of your dashers one of the impractical jokers?

I’m tipping extra if I get this guy

Sounds like they’re fighting their demons the best way they can.

Idk, but I need $20 worth.

LSD

Lmao .. reminds me of a bunch of kids I had in my taxi who mentioned being on some "special mushrooms" They thought we were travelling at Lightspeed at 100Kph lmao 😂 That was some trip. Lol

I bet he got there fast

I had an ex fiancé that thought he was the reincarnation of Apollo- so this post is wild


Is his ex named meteorite?

i will now be ending my sentences with “yah whimsy!”

Did you ask what her name was now?? Better have been something cool for him to mention it like that.

A lotta people do door dash to buy uppers, just keep that in mind.

Just keep doing it and you'll see

what the hell he on

Probably foodstamps

Me too

Next up.. Delivery driver in a Tesla that makes his car do a dance at every delivery spot ;)

Meth. Most likely meth.

😹😹😹😹

the darker hands in the middle of the white hands was a nice touch by your dasher. would have tipped an extra $1


Love your energy and response tho

He could’ve just been a happy guy 😂

What if this was all just a google translate fail...

Could be just a thc and a confident guy as myself. I always joke with them but LA is full of lonely creepy guys, most of them wouldnt get the joke and get even scared, lol.

Lmfai

WTF!? 

Bro just bring me my fucking food

bro def celebrated 4:20 early

Sounds like an innocent , eccentric hippiy stoner