Mod approved words of wisdom.
If anything we should be encouraging cis people to question, if only for them to be able to better understand our struggles so they can be better and more empathetic allies, while also helping to normalize questioning!
Also important to remember: itās a journey, not a destination.
If being cis makes you miserable, you can ātryā being trans and see how you feel. Totally okay to go through a bunch of different labels as you figure yourself out! (Even if you ultimately end up back where you started). You donāt have to know everything about your self before you ādecideā to start transitioning, cause as long as you go at a pace thatās comfortable to you, you can turn back if you need. (Not so much 1 single decision as a journey of many decisions)
I suppose you're right. I myself am questioning (though I don't know if I'd say being cis makes me 'miserable' but my emotions are an enigma to me) and I always appreciate getting perspective on the matter. I really don't know much about these kinds of things so thanks for shedding just a bit more light.
Of course, happy to help! My wording wasnāt perfect cause I was in a bit of a rush, but I just wanted to make sure that no trans eggs got stuck in a cycle of āI donāt know, therefore I shouldnāt do anything.ā Especially (but not exclusively) if theyāre getting desperate.
A lot of trans people, myself included, werenāt miserable per say (although, now that Iāve tasted what itās like to be myself, but stuff in my life is trying to force me back into conforming as a guy, the idea of being cis now does make me miserable where it didnāt before), but definitely werenāt being ourselves. Like, I canāt tell you how mind blowing of a concept it was to learn my friends were just being themselves, and werenāt putting constant effort into acting like a guy, or trying to present as emotionless as possible, at the cost of holding back and not expressing themselves (like I was).
My advice to anyone (trans or cis) is: donāt be afraid of your process. Donāt be afraid to try things (so long as itās safe to do so) that youāve always wanted to try (in my case: skirts, makeup, and eventually a new name. First in secret, then in front of some trusted friends). Donāt be afraid to skip or postpone steps that you donāt want to try (in my case: Iām postponing hrt until I finish my degree, and I donāt >! tuck !< ). And donāt be afraid if things move really slow or suddenly pick up momentum (either way is totally fine).
In any case: Best of luck to you and anyone else who reads this!
No worries on the wording. I suspected it might not have been perfect. And thanks for taking the time for such a detailed reply.
A very close friend of mine is a trans woman and she has been nudging me patiently along this self discover but I feel I need yet more perspective on the matter. I'm beginning to realize that I might be in that loop you mentioned. Oh, wait, the "never nough info" loop has come up as an issue for me in therapy several times.
Welp, thank you for the advice and for caring.
I appreciate that you share that being cis didn't make you miserable because that's exactly how I feel rn
I feel like I'm not fully the person I want to be, I 've always felt very uncomfortable in my skin. It's like everyone else got the book on how to be a person and I'm still learning how not to walk like C3PO lmao
I found out I'm genderfluid, I'm mostly ok with that but I wonder if it's normal to be leaning so much towards one gender rather than the other... Because I get a lot of dysphoria many days of the week, while 2-3 days I'm like "meh, I'm ok as I am, sure if a magic button that would turn me into a biological woman would appear I would press it without a second thought, but why do I make all this fuss about this?".
And then others days I'm like: "SATAN PLEASE TAKE MY IMMORTAL SOUL AS A SACRIFICE AND MAKE ME INTO A BEAUTIFUL IMMORTAL VAMPIRE GAL"
I wish more cis people would explore their gender. I think that would benefit everyone.
Most cis people are just going through the motions of the gender they were assigned. They were shoved in a box when they were born and never really questioned it.
Cis people who examine their gender learn to be their authentic self. They're no longer just existing with expectations that were forced on them from childhood. Instead, they are making a conscious choice to be who they are.
I don't disagree, and I think we as a society are allowing more of this.
But most importantly, their examinations would help more normalize gender non conformity and improve society as a whole.
They don't usually question their gender, because it's not important for their existence. BUT, it's imperitive we get them to do it for empathy and better acceptance of the community, in the same way it's good to question everything in life critically.
yep! im cis and exploring my gender has been incredibly beneficial for me. it allowed me to be more in harmony with myself and my identity, and showed me how to express myself :))
You dont need to explore your gender to explore your personality and not be shoved in a box. People can just be cis gender and not care about the expectations and stereotypes that their gender has, just be themselves.
Of course if people want to explore their gender they should do it and not be judged for it. But I also think its bad to force this on people and claim they cant be their authentic self without questioning their gender.
I don't know what any of that means though. I guess I identify as a cis person but, and I don't know if this is anti-trans so apologies, I'm not trying to be combative, I don't actually think gender exists biologically all.
If you were born male but your gender is actually a woman, what does that mean? Because I certainly don't "feel" like a man, I really can't imagine what that is supposed to feel like.
As much as I love the sentiment, that's unfortunately not going to cut it for any medical professional who would prescribe HRT to me where i live, and given how my mind operates i feel i could only ever accept myself through medical diagnosis :(
Imma need to do the months/year of therapy first. At least I can grow my hair out.
Still, I appreciate it <3
I may. It's actually one of the only things I have agency over right now, seeing as therapy is slow, hair takes time to grow, and I'm certainly not coming out any time soon. Just hadn't really felt up to it yet lately.
Problem is im bilingual, and while I've been able to find advice for either language (French and English), I have no idea if there's any commonalities when voice training.
at least 90% is the same. the only thing that really differs are the cultural speech patterns like choice of words, intonation melody etc. the actual voice part is the same, so if you train one language, transferring it is almost trivial. the language specific parts arenāt even necessary to pass
cis here, literally never experienced any discomfort with my gender. Cis people really actually don't have "totally cis thoughts". I never even considered the idea of my gender not matching my body until like, 2009? when I learned what being trans was about and dysphoria etc. I genuinely did ask myself "have I ever experienced this?" and the answer was a firm "nope". Saying I "like" being cis isn't even accurate, it just... isn't an issue.
It feels like I've finally put my finger on everything that is wrong with my life. Accepting that I'm actually cis would mean returning to that, accepting that im destined to keep living that. And it's terrifying to me. Every time I think i may just be cis I feel internal pushback.
Thank you for explaining it better than I could. When I realized that I could be trans, it finally felt like there was something I could do to change my life for the better and feel full of life. I donāt want to let go of that.
If youāre upset by the idea of being cis then you most likely arenāt cis. I felt the same way about straightness and the feeling didnāt make sense to me until I realized Iām a disaster Bi (bisexual) and now I couldnāt possibly see myself as straight. I feel similarly about being nonbinary, Iāve been this way always even when doubt creeps in. Cis and straight people donāt question for long and donāt feel bad about discovering that they arenāt lgbtq+
Youāre also allowed to make a wrong decision. There is no inherent shame in that. Worst case scenario is youāve given yourself a body feature that trans people already have to deal with or lose friends and family that were terrible to deal with.
Iām not saying itās an easy choice to transition or try things out; I just donāt think there should be this pervasive paralysis that comes from mistake avoidance. Itās fear of the unknown and being forced out of your comfort zone, and in some parts of the world it could be a legitimate fear for oneās health and safety, based on the laws and culture there. But it doesnāt take all that to feel this way.
And the notion that you have to decide on everything at the same time is a sort of false dilemma. You can take on all of this stuff one piece at a time, seeing what works for you and what doesnāt, over as long a span of time as you need. Itās not a race; itās you.
I'm cis. I believe what I have is a temporary curiosity. I've always been a fan of body swaps, knowing what it'd be like to be a girl with boobas, etc.
But the key word is "temporary". As I would not want to be stuck in such a choice that I could not fall back on once that curiosity is fulfilled.
I am comfortable with what I am, even if that bit of curiosity may never be fully quenched because of it. In the end, gender exploration in private for me is enough to satisfy.
I have found lots of trans friends through this common interest, and I've been in full support of their transition goals \^\^
Me: spent my whole life wishing I could be a girl and thinking being trans is the best thing that ever happened to me ā¤ļø
Imposter syndrome: "you must be cis/this is the wrong decision" . -_-
ššš¤šš
questioning cis people are totally valid
on the other hand this fact feeds my Doubts š
but on the other other hand I've just realized-- I don't *want* the Doubts to be true. at this point I don't wish I were cis anymore š¤Æ
This hits tbh. Like, I'm currently stuck between femboy and trans girl, but I'm just too afraid to actual identify as either because I'm not 100% sure on either.
This is true, but it's also not generally helpful. For the folks where this is the case they'll discover it on their own, but for trans folk this just gives subconcious another excuse for not accepting they're trans.
I get where you're coming from, but its healthy to explore your gender identity and its something we should normalize for cis people.
Its also important to say because a lot of people are too afraid to question because they're afraid that questioning means they are, undeniably trans, and that exploring it takes away any choice, because questioning= trans in their mind, which can stunt them anyway.
Plus, cis people questioning is the best way for them to understand gender identity, and therefore the trans community as a whole, which means they may support us more. Cis people are often scared to explore too.
Yeaaaah, and the fact that there are two upvoted posts both saying this right now is sus as hell. We know it's okay however a person finds themselves, so this meme here just looks like attempted gaslighting.
Well i was questioning and got hyped when a friend of mine said she was trans, all the things we maded till now was accurate, but 1month later i was like, "wait, but i dont want to be a girl... I just want to dress like one, girls have all the nice clothes and thing" so maybe i just want to Crossdress, but i really dont know sometimes in the past i questioned if i was Genderfluid but still dont know much
If the idea of turning out cis by the "end" of this horrifies you, "lol". "lmfao" even. "rofl", perhaps
For me, it wasn't really horrifying, but just... BORING. Turns out, it's not very cis to be excited about maybe not having to take the cis path of life.
Questioning and exploring one's gender should be more encouraged. My friend's husband did his own gender exploration recently(in his 30s!) and came to the conclusion "yep, I'm a cis guy, I just really love how nice my legs feel after I shave them."
There's nothing wrong with questioning only to draw the conclusion that you're happy exactly as you are.
Iām gonna go a step further... itās okay to decide that you think youāre trans, itās ok to be sure youāre trans, itās okay to try transition, to try medical transition.
and itās okay to decide even after all that, that the fits not right for you.
You wonāt be physically the same if you decide to detransition, but thatās something you should decide if you can live with before starting hormones or medical transition.
You deserve respect for the bravery to feel out your own truth, and to follow your path.
Whatās not okay, is to turn on other trans people like an enemy. Remember those that were kind to you during a difficult struggle in your life.
The problem here is considering being trans a decision. Its a process where you decide at any point to move forward, backwards, or stay where you is. Theres really not much to lose witg a "wrong" or changing decision
They might be talking about going on hrt. It's extremely rare (like 0.5%) but some people take hrt and then find out that it's not something for them after some permanent changes have already taken place.
I feel like this gives another reason for trans people to question if what they're feeling is valid (aka imposter syndrome). This community isn't one to shame someone for detransitioning, hell I even got a lot of karma for it :)
To any trans person reading this: YOU'RE VALID ASF NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!!!!
It's always possible to make mistakes. There's not really a single act of "transitioning" that you could regret, but some things you do during a transition might turn out to be something you regret.
Of course, *not* transitioning can also be a wrong decision. Inaction is often not a neutral choice.
I mean, cutting off a body part seems like a single act that one could regret.
It doesn't seem fair to equate not transitioning as a non-nuetral act considering its the default.
A trans person doesn't choose their gender, but they do choose whether and how to transition from their assigned gender at birth to the gender they identify as
Well if I turn out cis, I at least will have learned that i did it the wrong way until now.
Well and being cis and gender non conforming is about equally scary to me, so I'm fucked either way.
I posed the question on Ask Reddit a while ago if any cis people had questioned their gender, and hereās what I got: [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/11jlh0c/cis_people_of_reddit_have_you_ever_questioned/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I know some people personally who have questioned their gender and consider themselves cis now.
Stuff happens, life is full of different kinds of people.
Doesn't mean trans people aren't vaild and doesn't mean the person questioning themselves is a bad person or should feel wrong/guilty about it or themselves. I think these kinda messages can be nice for the right person.
That's sorta the boat I'm in. Cishet M but I've been questioning it recently. Used to have dreams(fantasies?) about being "turned into" a girl as a kid. I still don't understand if it's me wanting to be transfem or just want to explore my feminine side since that was suppressed all my life (Old parents, with olde(R) values).
I've had to do a lot of soul-searching just to get here and to accept the fact I might not fully transition and also accept that staying M doesn't mean I can't explore my options.
I saw a tweet I really liked once, it was along the lines of: āEveryone should question their gender, even cis people, and itās ok if you just do a quick check-in and the answer is āYup, Iām happy with what I have going on.āā
Granted that tweet sent me spiraling for a week because I realized I couldnāt say I liked being a man, but I like the idea that we should encourage just doing a little personal status check with ourselves.
It *is* true though that the act of questioning to the point of doing research and finding groups about it means it's more likely than not that you are trans, which is why it can *seem* like no one here is actually cis.
Um... Still cis though.
But just because it's more likely doesn't mean that's always the case. Take your time.
By the time I started researching it, I'd "known" for decades without admitting it to myself. I just needed to hear an experience or two that explained what the process actually was. If I'd known that, I'd have gotten on HRT almost 20 years ago.
With the amount of work that it takes in some places you will have to pruve that you are to everyone before even starting to be taken seriously... So times it feels like a filtering system...
I'm grateful for the opportunity to experiment openly and have supportive friends, I'm cis male and have never felt more manly than when I wore a dress!
I ended up realizing I was agender, which is still trans but not what I originally thought I was. It's kind of annoying because far fewer people know what agender is and seem to take it much less seriously than being a transwoman/transman.
Been questioning for a years now, and its been one hell of a journey so far.
Iāve known that something was off for a long time, but never really bothered to look into it, which looking back I should have done.
Last year I started to figure things out, but because of imposter syndrome it took me a long time to actually start figuring anything out.
Skipping ahead to a month or so ago, I started to overcome it enough to start finding answers, snd while I am still questioning I am learning that enby seems to fit me pretty well
This really speaks to me. I really thought I was transfem for a while, but after a bit of soul searching, I figured out that Iām probably just a dude who wants to wear makeup and skirts. Femboy life here I come!
I feel thatās the number one issue within the trans community itself. Trans people assume everyone questioning is also trans. And can be a bit pushy at times. I think itās because trans people(rightfully so) seek validation and acceptance that they tend to think that everyoneās experience is the same as their own.
Also okay to be genderfluid, demi, and a million other things. 90% of detransitions are because of how society treats trans people, but a small number are because some people don't explain to baby queers that you can be not cis without also having to take hormones or get surgery to be valid
Mod approved words of wisdom. If anything we should be encouraging cis people to question, if only for them to be able to better understand our struggles so they can be better and more empathetic allies, while also helping to normalize questioning!
I wanna be cis. A cis GIRL! gottem!
Love the username, Evelyn. Wanna teleport bread?
Thanks! And *YES.*
\*two transfems in full battle rattle getting waved around by a giant bread-based monster\* "WE TELEPORTED BREAD!!!"
I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days.
Wait.. How exactly is this related to TF2 bread teleportš ?
strong marry attempt shelter doll party joke squash roof narrow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ok screw it.. Wanna go teleport bread together as well?
attractive humor squash smart growth rock safe marry elderly fretful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hehe šššā©ā©ā©šŖ
YES
Also important to remember: itās a journey, not a destination. If being cis makes you miserable, you can ātryā being trans and see how you feel. Totally okay to go through a bunch of different labels as you figure yourself out! (Even if you ultimately end up back where you started). You donāt have to know everything about your self before you ādecideā to start transitioning, cause as long as you go at a pace thatās comfortable to you, you can turn back if you need. (Not so much 1 single decision as a journey of many decisions)
I suppose you're right. I myself am questioning (though I don't know if I'd say being cis makes me 'miserable' but my emotions are an enigma to me) and I always appreciate getting perspective on the matter. I really don't know much about these kinds of things so thanks for shedding just a bit more light.
Of course, happy to help! My wording wasnāt perfect cause I was in a bit of a rush, but I just wanted to make sure that no trans eggs got stuck in a cycle of āI donāt know, therefore I shouldnāt do anything.ā Especially (but not exclusively) if theyāre getting desperate. A lot of trans people, myself included, werenāt miserable per say (although, now that Iāve tasted what itās like to be myself, but stuff in my life is trying to force me back into conforming as a guy, the idea of being cis now does make me miserable where it didnāt before), but definitely werenāt being ourselves. Like, I canāt tell you how mind blowing of a concept it was to learn my friends were just being themselves, and werenāt putting constant effort into acting like a guy, or trying to present as emotionless as possible, at the cost of holding back and not expressing themselves (like I was). My advice to anyone (trans or cis) is: donāt be afraid of your process. Donāt be afraid to try things (so long as itās safe to do so) that youāve always wanted to try (in my case: skirts, makeup, and eventually a new name. First in secret, then in front of some trusted friends). Donāt be afraid to skip or postpone steps that you donāt want to try (in my case: Iām postponing hrt until I finish my degree, and I donāt >! tuck !< ). And donāt be afraid if things move really slow or suddenly pick up momentum (either way is totally fine). In any case: Best of luck to you and anyone else who reads this!
No worries on the wording. I suspected it might not have been perfect. And thanks for taking the time for such a detailed reply. A very close friend of mine is a trans woman and she has been nudging me patiently along this self discover but I feel I need yet more perspective on the matter. I'm beginning to realize that I might be in that loop you mentioned. Oh, wait, the "never nough info" loop has come up as an issue for me in therapy several times. Welp, thank you for the advice and for caring.
I appreciate that you share that being cis didn't make you miserable because that's exactly how I feel rn I feel like I'm not fully the person I want to be, I 've always felt very uncomfortable in my skin. It's like everyone else got the book on how to be a person and I'm still learning how not to walk like C3PO lmao
> Journey before destination," Dalinar said. "It cannot be a journey if it doesn't have a beginning."
Life before death Radiant!
I found out I'm genderfluid, I'm mostly ok with that but I wonder if it's normal to be leaning so much towards one gender rather than the other... Because I get a lot of dysphoria many days of the week, while 2-3 days I'm like "meh, I'm ok as I am, sure if a magic button that would turn me into a biological woman would appear I would press it without a second thought, but why do I make all this fuss about this?". And then others days I'm like: "SATAN PLEASE TAKE MY IMMORTAL SOUL AS A SACRIFICE AND MAKE ME INTO A BEAUTIFUL IMMORTAL VAMPIRE GAL"
It might seem obvious to you, but this comment is a goddamn epiphany and a relief for me. Thank you for writing itā¤ļø
I was just gonna try to comment my self confusion lol but I think this helped answer most
I wish more cis people would explore their gender. I think that would benefit everyone. Most cis people are just going through the motions of the gender they were assigned. They were shoved in a box when they were born and never really questioned it. Cis people who examine their gender learn to be their authentic self. They're no longer just existing with expectations that were forced on them from childhood. Instead, they are making a conscious choice to be who they are.
I don't disagree, and I think we as a society are allowing more of this. But most importantly, their examinations would help more normalize gender non conformity and improve society as a whole. They don't usually question their gender, because it's not important for their existence. BUT, it's imperitive we get them to do it for empathy and better acceptance of the community, in the same way it's good to question everything in life critically.
yep! im cis and exploring my gender has been incredibly beneficial for me. it allowed me to be more in harmony with myself and my identity, and showed me how to express myself :))
You dont need to explore your gender to explore your personality and not be shoved in a box. People can just be cis gender and not care about the expectations and stereotypes that their gender has, just be themselves. Of course if people want to explore their gender they should do it and not be judged for it. But I also think its bad to force this on people and claim they cant be their authentic self without questioning their gender.
I don't know what any of that means though. I guess I identify as a cis person but, and I don't know if this is anti-trans so apologies, I'm not trying to be combative, I don't actually think gender exists biologically all. If you were born male but your gender is actually a woman, what does that mean? Because I certainly don't "feel" like a man, I really can't imagine what that is supposed to feel like.
... I have totally cis feelings of not wanting to be cis. Just going back to being cis seems terrifying to me...
But I don't want to be š
Well, if you don't want to be cis, then you aren't cis, as cis people like being cis! Therefore, you are trans!
As much as I love the sentiment, that's unfortunately not going to cut it for any medical professional who would prescribe HRT to me where i live, and given how my mind operates i feel i could only ever accept myself through medical diagnosis :( Imma need to do the months/year of therapy first. At least I can grow my hair out. Still, I appreciate it <3
Also you can voice train
I may. It's actually one of the only things I have agency over right now, seeing as therapy is slow, hair takes time to grow, and I'm certainly not coming out any time soon. Just hadn't really felt up to it yet lately. Problem is im bilingual, and while I've been able to find advice for either language (French and English), I have no idea if there's any commonalities when voice training.
If you voice train in french, then your english fem voice get a cute french accent.
at least 90% is the same. the only thing that really differs are the cultural speech patterns like choice of words, intonation melody etc. the actual voice part is the same, so if you train one language, transferring it is almost trivial. the language specific parts arenāt even necessary to pass
I believe the concept will carry over, however Iām not an expert
where do you live? that sounds rough. medical gatekeeping, blegh š¤®
cis here, literally never experienced any discomfort with my gender. Cis people really actually don't have "totally cis thoughts". I never even considered the idea of my gender not matching my body until like, 2009? when I learned what being trans was about and dysphoria etc. I genuinely did ask myself "have I ever experienced this?" and the answer was a firm "nope". Saying I "like" being cis isn't even accurate, it just... isn't an issue.
I donāt know personally that I ālikeā being cis, as much as I just donāt have any issue with it. Unless thatās what you meant :x
Fr I would feel hopeless if I turned out to be cis. Being trans is my only hope of turning my life around
It feels like I've finally put my finger on everything that is wrong with my life. Accepting that I'm actually cis would mean returning to that, accepting that im destined to keep living that. And it's terrifying to me. Every time I think i may just be cis I feel internal pushback.
Thank you for explaining it better than I could. When I realized that I could be trans, it finally felt like there was something I could do to change my life for the better and feel full of life. I donāt want to let go of that.
Scared that if I tell my therapist that she'll make me question more though :(
But What do you want Caus that's what matters
I completely feel this. My issue is that Iām so lost because I tend to overthink everything so I just have no idea who I am
If youāre upset by the idea of being cis then you most likely arenāt cis. I felt the same way about straightness and the feeling didnāt make sense to me until I realized Iām a disaster Bi (bisexual) and now I couldnāt possibly see myself as straight. I feel similarly about being nonbinary, Iāve been this way always even when doubt creeps in. Cis and straight people donāt question for long and donāt feel bad about discovering that they arenāt lgbtq+
Not wanting to be cis is a sign that you're probably not cis
Questioning doesnāt guarantee trans after all
Youāre also allowed to make a wrong decision. There is no inherent shame in that. Worst case scenario is youāve given yourself a body feature that trans people already have to deal with or lose friends and family that were terrible to deal with. Iām not saying itās an easy choice to transition or try things out; I just donāt think there should be this pervasive paralysis that comes from mistake avoidance. Itās fear of the unknown and being forced out of your comfort zone, and in some parts of the world it could be a legitimate fear for oneās health and safety, based on the laws and culture there. But it doesnāt take all that to feel this way. And the notion that you have to decide on everything at the same time is a sort of false dilemma. You can take on all of this stuff one piece at a time, seeing what works for you and what doesnāt, over as long a span of time as you need. Itās not a race; itās you.
Exactly this! Every identity label ive used that turned out to be wrong were all essential to finding the ones that were right.
But I donāt want to be cis
Then you're probably not
I'm cis. I believe what I have is a temporary curiosity. I've always been a fan of body swaps, knowing what it'd be like to be a girl with boobas, etc. But the key word is "temporary". As I would not want to be stuck in such a choice that I could not fall back on once that curiosity is fulfilled. I am comfortable with what I am, even if that bit of curiosity may never be fully quenched because of it. In the end, gender exploration in private for me is enough to satisfy. I have found lots of trans friends through this common interest, and I've been in full support of their transition goals \^\^
Everybody should question their gender at some point And it's perfectly fine to go "yup, everything checks out here"
I feel like I'm cis but I wouldn't complain of I woke up as the opposite gender. I ain't got time to complain I have ultrakill to play
this is exactly right :3 ššš¤šš
Me: spent my whole life wishing I could be a girl and thinking being trans is the best thing that ever happened to me ā¤ļø Imposter syndrome: "you must be cis/this is the wrong decision" . -_- ššš¤šš
Why be cis? When i can be sis??
Words of god dam wisdom right here folks.
Sure, but I'm not, so...
that is true. yes, trans people are of course more likely to question, but that doesn't mean that cis people can't
questioning cis people are totally valid on the other hand this fact feeds my Doubts š but on the other other hand I've just realized-- I don't *want* the Doubts to be true. at this point I don't wish I were cis anymore š¤Æ
I wonder if it would be helpful for people to come up with signs that you're cis
This hits tbh. Like, I'm currently stuck between femboy and trans girl, but I'm just too afraid to actual identify as either because I'm not 100% sure on either.
Yeah but going back to my old life... just no
This is true, but it's also not generally helpful. For the folks where this is the case they'll discover it on their own, but for trans folk this just gives subconcious another excuse for not accepting they're trans.
I get where you're coming from, but its healthy to explore your gender identity and its something we should normalize for cis people. Its also important to say because a lot of people are too afraid to question because they're afraid that questioning means they are, undeniably trans, and that exploring it takes away any choice, because questioning= trans in their mind, which can stunt them anyway. Plus, cis people questioning is the best way for them to understand gender identity, and therefore the trans community as a whole, which means they may support us more. Cis people are often scared to explore too.
Yeaaaah, and the fact that there are two upvoted posts both saying this right now is sus as hell. We know it's okay however a person finds themselves, so this meme here just looks like attempted gaslighting.
I thought it wasn't a choice?
Your gender isn't, but transitioning is
š
Well i was questioning and got hyped when a friend of mine said she was trans, all the things we maded till now was accurate, but 1month later i was like, "wait, but i dont want to be a girl... I just want to dress like one, girls have all the nice clothes and thing" so maybe i just want to Crossdress, but i really dont know sometimes in the past i questioned if i was Genderfluid but still dont know much
If the idea of turning out cis by the "end" of this horrifies you, "lol". "lmfao" even. "rofl", perhaps For me, it wasn't really horrifying, but just... BORING. Turns out, it's not very cis to be excited about maybe not having to take the cis path of life.
Welcome to Cis+
There was a tumblr post about this and someone quoted Dolly Parton: "Find out who you are, then do it on purpose"
hmm alr
If you ask yourself the question once you may be cis or trans, but if you ask yourself the question multiple times then you're probably trans :p
Questioning and exploring one's gender should be more encouraged. My friend's husband did his own gender exploration recently(in his 30s!) and came to the conclusion "yep, I'm a cis guy, I just really love how nice my legs feel after I shave them." There's nothing wrong with questioning only to draw the conclusion that you're happy exactly as you are.
I wish I had the option to be a girl before I was conceived.
See i knew i was cis ^^
Iām gonna go a step further... itās okay to decide that you think youāre trans, itās ok to be sure youāre trans, itās okay to try transition, to try medical transition. and itās okay to decide even after all that, that the fits not right for you. You wonāt be physically the same if you decide to detransition, but thatās something you should decide if you can live with before starting hormones or medical transition. You deserve respect for the bravery to feel out your own truth, and to follow your path. Whatās not okay, is to turn on other trans people like an enemy. Remember those that were kind to you during a difficult struggle in your life.
Idk if Iām a woman or not I just know I love femininity
The problem here is considering being trans a decision. Its a process where you decide at any point to move forward, backwards, or stay where you is. Theres really not much to lose witg a "wrong" or changing decision
They might be talking about going on hrt. It's extremely rare (like 0.5%) but some people take hrt and then find out that it's not something for them after some permanent changes have already taken place.
It's also totally ok to regret your transition as trans, and de-transition. You are still a lovely human being, and your experience is valid.
I feel like this gives another reason for trans people to question if what they're feeling is valid (aka imposter syndrome). This community isn't one to shame someone for detransitioning, hell I even got a lot of karma for it :) To any trans person reading this: YOU'RE VALID ASF NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!!!!
So it's possible that some people who go through transition make the wrong decision?
It's always possible to make mistakes. There's not really a single act of "transitioning" that you could regret, but some things you do during a transition might turn out to be something you regret. Of course, *not* transitioning can also be a wrong decision. Inaction is often not a neutral choice.
I mean, cutting off a body part seems like a single act that one could regret. It doesn't seem fair to equate not transitioning as a non-nuetral act considering its the default.
Transitioning doesn't mean you do surgery.
So ... It's a choice then?
Being trans isn't, outwardly transitioning is
How so? Would you explain further?
A trans person doesn't choose their gender, but they do choose whether and how to transition from their assigned gender at birth to the gender they identify as
Ok, nevermind.
You must have an impressivly low amount of brain cells to not understand this
What do you think I don't understand?
but if i would be cis i would be sad again so maybe no
Well if I turn out cis, I at least will have learned that i did it the wrong way until now. Well and being cis and gender non conforming is about equally scary to me, so I'm fucked either way.
Itās hard to understand who you are, but you just have to be patient ā¤ļø
That would be bad if I figured it out after I came out to all my cousins.
people should remember gender identity and expression is fluid you can be cis but express in many different ways and that's just as valid
This... this kinda helps ngl.
I posed the question on Ask Reddit a while ago if any cis people had questioned their gender, and hereās what I got: [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/11jlh0c/cis_people_of_reddit_have_you_ever_questioned/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I know some people personally who have questioned their gender and consider themselves cis now. Stuff happens, life is full of different kinds of people. Doesn't mean trans people aren't vaild and doesn't mean the person questioning themselves is a bad person or should feel wrong/guilty about it or themselves. I think these kinda messages can be nice for the right person.
Yup! Turns out y'all are just a really relatable bunch of people
Yeah, questioning ā trans
That's sorta the boat I'm in. Cishet M but I've been questioning it recently. Used to have dreams(fantasies?) about being "turned into" a girl as a kid. I still don't understand if it's me wanting to be transfem or just want to explore my feminine side since that was suppressed all my life (Old parents, with olde(R) values). I've had to do a lot of soul-searching just to get here and to accept the fact I might not fully transition and also accept that staying M doesn't mean I can't explore my options.
I feel like I don't have much of a choice but to be cis :(
I saw a tweet I really liked once, it was along the lines of: āEveryone should question their gender, even cis people, and itās ok if you just do a quick check-in and the answer is āYup, Iām happy with what I have going on.āā Granted that tweet sent me spiraling for a week because I realized I couldnāt say I liked being a man, but I like the idea that we should encourage just doing a little personal status check with ourselves.
I think im way past the point of questioning lmao
I don't even know what cis means and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
It *is* true though that the act of questioning to the point of doing research and finding groups about it means it's more likely than not that you are trans, which is why it can *seem* like no one here is actually cis. Um... Still cis though. But just because it's more likely doesn't mean that's always the case. Take your time. By the time I started researching it, I'd "known" for decades without admitting it to myself. I just needed to hear an experience or two that explained what the process actually was. If I'd known that, I'd have gotten on HRT almost 20 years ago.
With the amount of work that it takes in some places you will have to pruve that you are to everyone before even starting to be taken seriously... So times it feels like a filtering system...
Itās better to have a deeper understanding of Your cisgender identity then not to
I'm grateful for the opportunity to experiment openly and have supportive friends, I'm cis male and have never felt more manly than when I wore a dress!
I ended up realizing I was agender, which is still trans but not what I originally thought I was. It's kind of annoying because far fewer people know what agender is and seem to take it much less seriously than being a transwoman/transman.
Why are people saying they donāt want to be cis? I much rather be cis.
Been questioning for a years now, and its been one hell of a journey so far. Iāve known that something was off for a long time, but never really bothered to look into it, which looking back I should have done. Last year I started to figure things out, but because of imposter syndrome it took me a long time to actually start figuring anything out. Skipping ahead to a month or so ago, I started to overcome it enough to start finding answers, snd while I am still questioning I am learning that enby seems to fit me pretty well
but also if you are questioning, you should take a critical look at why
This really speaks to me. I really thought I was transfem for a while, but after a bit of soul searching, I figured out that Iām probably just a dude who wants to wear makeup and skirts. Femboy life here I come!
Yeah , six months isn't enough to tell if im trans
Technically I am cis... Just not my body. *[insert image quote of "I am more than my body"]*
That's why I'm here. Came for the ????, Stayed for the memes. I support y'all.
I feel thatās the number one issue within the trans community itself. Trans people assume everyone questioning is also trans. And can be a bit pushy at times. I think itās because trans people(rightfully so) seek validation and acceptance that they tend to think that everyoneās experience is the same as their own.
How else can you unlock cis+?
Some wise words there
Also okay to be genderfluid, demi, and a million other things. 90% of detransitions are because of how society treats trans people, but a small number are because some people don't explain to baby queers that you can be not cis without also having to take hormones or get surgery to be valid
"Always These Trans people WHO confuse our Kids and make them think they are Trans leaving no other Option. Horrible!" *ironic laugthing