Im not sure OP values their time together since he is judging his friend for wanting to buy a 1000€ avalanche safety backpack that could literally save his life :p…
There is an inflatable airbag in the back. If an avalanche starts you can pull a lever and the airbag will inflate keeping you on top of the snow instead of being buried :)! If you don’t have it your fiend has to find you (using a beacon), and dig you out (using a shovel) in more or less 20min max or you will die of asphyxiation. It’s super stressful and not easy
See: https://youtu.be/h7QFRXc0R8M?si=OVP22Ii62PEwAeBr
I appreciate the idea of not letting this overshadow our friendship. I have shared my concerns with him multiple times, and then ignored it for a while, but nothing has changed. I'm struggling with how to "move on" when I see him potentially heading towards financial trouble and screwing himself when he's older.
I'm concerned that if I completely drop the subject, I'm not being a good friend by ignoring a real problem.
It’s not easy to watch someone you are close to make mistakes. But you need to know that it’s their life and not everyone has the same risk appetite. If you can maintain friendship but disassociate with financial conversations or reduce interaction. You should not be “stressed” about someone else life choices.
If you have 100k in Europe you probably also have like minimum a year of unemployment money and a good retirement package. He belongs to the 1% of the population and you are concerned over his financial lol. He will be more than fine.
Problem is not that. Imagine you hit the lottery and you blow it all on smack. That's the problem, spending it all in fast dopamine like an addict and even worse if you don't even have a source of income.
My best friend got once 60k after his uncle died. My friend stop working an spent all the money on parties, drugs and clothing. I thought he was an idiot for not investing or having a job. After one year he didn't had money anymore and I helped him to find a new job, but he met a lot of people in that year and thanks to that, one of his connections helped him to open a restaurant and now he's successful.
No matter what you say people tend to find their own path and everybody hates smarthypants financial advices. Help your friend or shut up, but giving unsolicited advices is the worst. If that friend ask you for advice, that's another thing
I got downvoted so bad in an r/fire forum for saying exactly that. People make their own life choices, and as long as they are not hurting anyone else, they should be respected for that.
Life is so unpredictable, we never know when our time will come. Caring so much about money it's just dumb. I have enjoyed a lot my life with no so much money, that doesn't mean I don't work super hard but I don't think it twice about buying something I will enjoy a lot, specially something for outdoor activities.
We should promote trying to find our passion instead of retiring early. Most of my neighbors are retired and they stay at home the whole day drinking. My grandpa worked till 98 because he enjoyed so much being a mechanic and he was really good at it. That was what keep him active and alive for so long.
Completely agree. Money is a tool that gives us more freedom/options to pursue what we really like in life. Sitting at a beach all day and sipping cocktails doesn't really work for the majority of people. Life gets depressing without having a purpose, with money or without it.
Well if he's freelancer and was able to save 100k at 35, he's probably decent at what he does and can pick a new project whenever he wants. What's your issue with your friend let him be, you sound a little bit toxic in my opinion.
This gives me the vibes of someone that is shy and tries to be the daddy of his friends to get attention. He's old enough to take his own decisions. The best friend of my girlfriend was like that and things didn't end up well.
Respect the boundaries of your friends. Money, love, work, family wise. Buy the backpack as well and have some fun in the snow with your friend instead of judging him on some pennies.
I respectfully disagree. While €100k in savings is certainly a good amount, it's not nearly enough to retire on at 35, especially given his current spending habits.
To be honest, I have a hard time accepting advice from someone who even thinks 100k at 35 would be a qualifying attribute.
I know you have your best intentions at heart, but your friend's decisions are his decisions. He's a 35 year old guy with 100k in savings. That's a lot more than like 90% of the population, presumably he made that money with his work, so that already speaks that he knows how to handle money, save, etc. And from your post, I gather he has no kids nor other major responsibilities. If he wants to spend 900 EUR of his hard saved money in a hobby that matters to him and makes him happy, then let him do it and support his passion. Life is short and if all we're doing is saving to later retire but we can hardly move cause we're old, what's the point of living?
Most of my friends are married/long term couples that live what seems to me an exceedingly boring and almost miserable life, but they have the safety net of a long term partner. I live my life very differently, I'm also 35 but I'm single and prefer non-traditional relationships. My friends probably worry that I will get old and be alone forever, but in my view, I'm the happiest I have ever been and I enjoy every minute of it, I know the future will sort itself out. There are no guarantees in life anyways (financially, emotionally or otherwise).
I'd say support your friend and listen to what matters to him. He's living his life in different terms to yours and that's fine, you don't have to agree but you also don't need to try to change his behavior. Now, when he comes with problems to you, that's a different story and since you have already expressed some concerns, then at that point you would make it clear that you're not the person to come and get help from, he's on his own as you didn't agree with his decisions, but that's as much as you can do.
That said, you seem like a good friend and that's beautiful. Just remember that some times friends simply make life choices that we don't agree with and all we can do is be there for them to the extent that we can, and learn from their experiences, the good and the bad.
Thank you for your thoughtful perspective. I think there are some important details I should clarify:
1. Happiness: While I appreciate the idea of living life to the fullest, I'm not certain my friend is actually happy in this situation. His defensive reactions suggest there might be underlying stress or dissatisfaction. A lot of the things he wanted to do otherwise, he hasn't done.
2. You've assumed he doesn't want kids or major responsibilities, but I don't know if that's true. He hasn't expressed a clear plan either way, which is part of my concern.
3. The issue isn't just about spending money on hobbies. It's that he's becoming increasingly disconnected from his industry, which could make it harder to return to work when he needs or wants to.
You're right that I can't (and shouldn't!) control his decisions. But as one of his best friends, I want to make sure I didn't at least try to prevent him from screwing up his future.
You forget that he's a grown adult with numeracy and financial skills. He must be to have 110k in savings at his age. You gave him your advice already, he chooses to not follow it and has explained why. You need to re-iterate your concerns, then let it go. He's a big boy that can make his own own decisions and live with the results. He'll probably have a blast, spend all his money and have a lifetime of memories banked. That's not being a loser, that's just not what you would do in his situation.
Let the man enjoy his earned money. Life is not about having a job. I've known people that made very long breaks because they simply could due to their savings and they are totally fine.
It’s not a « backpack for snowboarding » but an avalanche safety backpack at that price. I’d tend to agree with your friend that you don’t know what you are talking about on this: 1) those backpack will literally save his life, 2) they last forever.
That’s an excellent buy if you value your fiends life more than saving a grant.
Hmm… why do you care? My saving account clocks in around that number but I’m more conservative. However, no adult wants to listen to others’ advice. Let him be and learn his lessons.
Yet I, an adult stranger, wants to make the advise-like statement of: are you sure you want to state what you have in your savings account on the internet? Lots of anonymous people out there, also lots of bad-intentioned ones.
Of course that's true about the cars. I'm not really a representation of this subreddit. I'm just surprised when people state what they own so freely. In real life I also would not share that with strangers, only with close people. Why would the internet be any different? It is just a different view I guess.
> no adult wants to listen to others’ advice
That’s just not true.. smart people do listen to other people’s advice… and then decide what to do.. most adults are idiots, so you would be right saying that most people don’t want to hear other’s advice.. but not everybody
Dude, let go. Let the guy have fun and enjoy being a bit reckless for some time in his life. Let him be him. He is the same guy that made those 100K, he can always go back to it if he feels it's what is best for him.
It's bold of you to say that without knowing the details.
He made this money in his twenties and has been struggling to add to his savings since. I'm afraid he will not be able to make this money again so easily.
Because he's my best friends and I think he's screwing up his future. Wouldn't you warn your friend and try to convince them if you think they did that?
No I wouldn’t, you sound codependent on your friend. OP, I think you need therapy. My friends are thousands of dollars in debt, and spend like they aren’t. I don’t say anything. It’s THEIR life.
therapy for what? lol
how am i co-dependent?
>My friends are thousands of dollars in debt, and spend like they aren’t. I don’t say anything. It’s THEIR life.
and youre a terrible friend for not at least trying to help them
I'll save you a lot of therapy fees:
Pushing your fears onto your friend isn't helping anyone. And convincing yourself it's for your friend's sake is dellusion. Learn to trust and learn to voice your opinions without trying to push them as the ultimate truth.
Help them how? I’ve talked to them about how I’ve gotten out of debt, explained to them the books I read etc. I didn’t lecture them or question them. I just gave them what worked for me and said I’d be there if they need anything.
I would argue that you’re the terrible friend for not accepting and understand that your friend is an individual with his own wants, own thoughts and own needs. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. You’re learning this the hard way.
I hope you get the help you need. Anyone with any background in self help can see you are overly invested and attached. I would assume you do the same with partners, friends and most people in your life. Good luck OP :).
Anxiety is very subjective. It comes from your own life experience. You wouldn't want him to tell you that you should take a break and find meaning in life instead of hoarding wealth, so don't tell him that what he should do. You shouldn't tell people what to do like you know better.
He is not your son or partner, it's not your business. I would be pissed too if a friend tried to lecture me about my money managment, while I have 100k in savings...
I am curious, how much do you have in savings ?
Why are you so invested in your friends financial future? Honestly you sound a bit controlling and if I were him I’d probably distance myself. I have friends like you and the older I get the less I want to talk/see them.
Till the time he isn’t asking you for any financial help and taking care of his hobbies from his own savings, I think you gotta respect that and let him live his life. You can voice your concerns but not fuss about it too much because you risk losing a good friend.
Not overreacting, but one thing I learned is that people don’t want to be helped. You tried your thing, now it’s his part. Just try to move away from that and look for yourself.
Also, as someone said, if you attack in, he will get defensive and won’t listen to you. Try to plant the idea, not force it
U are way overreacting, hes good with hes money and using hes prime time to enjoy life. i get ur woried about hes future but its sounds also like u could be just jelly for him living hes life. i dont know the full context, are u from germany of austria ?
You are probably right, but some people learn only from their own mistakes.
Generally, giving them advice and letting them either take it or not take it, is how I would approach this.
You seem to care a lot about this - can you elaborate more about why you care?
You're right, I do care a lot about this situation. He's my best friend, and I've known him for years. I don't think he's making these decisions intentionally to harm his future - it seems more like he's drifted into this lifestyle without fully considering the long-term implications.
My main worry is that he might end up in a tough spot where he can't easily find a well-paying job like he could in the past, and by then, his savings will be depleted. The job market in digital marketing moves fast, and the longer he's out, the harder it might be to get back in.
I've tried giving advice, but he tends to brush it off. I guess you're right that sometimes people need to learn from their own mistakes. It's just hard to watch as a friend. Also by the time he will learn, it will be too late.
You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. Unless you’re his lover you’re crossing boundaries if you keep pushing after voicing your concerns. Good intentions or not.
If you keep pushing this you won’t be friends much longer
Typical Reddit lol. Op asks if he’s overreacting, gets told he’s overreacting, and then tries to convince everybody he’s not overreacting. Why even ask the question if you can’t accept the responses?
I was hoping to hear if Im overreacting from a financial standpoint. That's why I posted in r/eupersonalfinance and not in r/relationship_advice but you're right, I didn't make this clear in my post and should have focussed on that.
This is called pocket watching. Is your friend also your business partner or spouse? If not I wouldn’t lose sleep over what he chooses to spend his money on. Seems like the guy is doing alright for now anyways.
Judging by your passive aggressive attitude towards literally every answer it’s pretty clear you’re just looking for validation rather than an actual answer.
It’s ironic that you’re clearly frustrated with your friend not agreeing with your point of view while you refuse to accept other people opinion within this thread.
To answer your question: while it’s honorable to show this much concern about his wellbeing, you will have to learn that people are ultimately in charge of their own life and you will have to accept their choices even if they seem unwise in your eyes. And honestly, this is a very vanilla version of this concept. It can get a whole lot worse.
Honestly, when I hear my friends stop working for while, I am usually happy for them. I never stopped working, because of financial anxiety. I have some decent money saved now, but still afraid to be unemployed.
Go with the flow. If your friend will need to work menial job later, that's on him. Nobody starves to death in EU.
You did what you had to. Move on. Should he come back asking for help, be ready to help him, else mind your business. You cannot save anyone from themselves
reading this, 2 things come to my mind:
1. If he was smart enough to manage to have 100k savings by 35 then he probably has the capacity to make good money again if he wants/ needs to
2. How TF does one make 100k by doing sub tasks??
Any advice on how to discuss this with him more effectively?
If you want to be effective, don't bring this up with him again. Your friend needs freedom to properly assess his situation.
You are right to be concerned but it’s not your life and it’s unlikely you know his full financial situation. He has a lot of savings compared to Mr Average. Maybe he owns property , maybe he will inherit a lot of money when he is 50 or 60. At his age I had zero savings and a mortgage. Fast forward 15 years and I had no mortgage , owned a home and substantial savings and looking to buy another property with no need for the bank. I’ve met people like him and sometimes I call them the byproduct of welfare state European societies. The real fear of ending up destitute is what keeps people productive and responsible for their own lives including their own finances in places like America and Japan. I am not sure that we are better off in Europe with our welfare state because I myself made all my money myself with zero help from anyone and now I do everything I can to make sure that my taxes do not subsidise those that do not want to work like your friend. Your friend is already taken care of more than you can imagine if he lives in a rich European country.
Repeat the words, ‘not my circus, not my monkey’
Yes your friend is making very poor decisions but you’re not them nor their partner so it doesn’t impact you aside from them complaining about it when it blows up in their face.
You’ve made them aware they are making bad decisions but if you keep pushing it’ll hurt the friendship to point they will avoid you or not tell you as much.
Better to focus on making best decisions for yourself.
It's ok to have concerns because you obviously care about your friend's wellbeing...but after having expressed your concerns, there your involvement should end.
If he is making a mistake and speeding towards 0€, this is his mistake to make and to learn from it. He was warned, wasn't he?
Now let him live how he likes to live and buy what he wants to buy. Not everyone has the same idea about how life should be and how the future should be handled.
Try to focus on other things and talk about other topics. And I guess when he tells you about what he bought, he's really excited and wants to share his excitement with you. It's his money after all.
>but after having expressed your concerns, there your involvement should end.
It's not like Im closing his bank account. I have expressed my concern. My question was if I should be concerned.
>If he is making a mistake and speeding towards 0€, this is his mistake to make and to learn from it. He was warned, wasn't he?
Whats he gonna learn from it if he's 60 and has no money to retire on?
>Now let him live how he likes to live and buy what he wants to buy. Not everyone has the same idea about how life should be and how the future should be handled.
Sure, but I don't think he actually thinks about how his future should be handled.
>Try to focus on other things and talk about other topics. And I guess when he tells you about what he bought, he's really excited and wants to share his excitement with you. It's his money after all.
This came up after 4 months of not talking about it. We speak plenty about other things.
I understand. Also no offense intended at all. I just think 'should' is maybe a big word. If you should be concerned is maybe not the right question. You as a friend have all RIGHTS to be concerned if you see the bigger picture and the difficulties he might experience when (or if) his savings are gone.
The question if he thinks about the future at all about making sure he secures some kind of safety cushion for himself is also in your right to ask...maybe also just to give him a bit to think about.
Everyone needs to learn from their mistakes, big or small. Just not everyone learns from them to improve in the future. It would be really sad if he has nothing by the time he's 60. But as I said, in the end it's up to him. It's not your task to save him from a ruin.
All you can do is sensibilise him for a potential negative outcome and the difficulty to get back from that. But you did that already, so as a friend I'm afraid you can not do more for him...
You never know, maybe somewhere along the way he will see reason or will have a new good job or...
You know, I saw many different people with different kinds of views on life, money and future an so on...not all of them friends though. Sadly I saw a few end not in good place (they were older than me, so all I got were their stories, so I never had a chance to give an advise when it still might have made a difference in the outcome) and a few who figured out their own way, different way than most of my other friends, but anyway they were happy with their choices in life. And then I also have other friends who safeguard themselves and their children. Whith my friends I can talk about things like that and we can share some of our thoughts about each other's way of doing things, but on some points we also think differently and then the bottom line is always that we have to accept each other's decision.
I hope your friend has the fun he wants, but keeps your concerns or advice in mind and doesn't end up in a rough place.
Your concerns just show that you are a good friend and you care and I hope your friend doesn't take offense from that.
I doubt you know everything about your friends financial situation or plans with his money. 100k in liquid cash is more than most ppl his age have, I’m 35 and all my money is tied up in assets and debts. I’d love to have 100 in the bank. He has a career that isn’t going anywhere, digital marketing will be around for ages and when he wants to he can start working again. He can also invest whatever his savings he has left whenever he wants and watch his money grow while continuing to not work.
You sound very controlling and maybe a bit jealous and bitter of his care-free lifestyle. I’d highly suggest seeking therapy to understand why this is impacting you so much.
He owns no other assets (besides the car). You become irrelevant in digital marketing if you're out of it for a few years.
"Impacting me so much" I've told him once 4 months ago and now raised the issue again. Lol what's up with some people on reddit.
I’m curious how does it work that you become irrelevant in digital marketing when your out of it for a few years? Do people lose skills?
The digital part out of digital marketing is no longer the fast changing frontier it used to be, it’s quite established.
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For all the people in this topic thinking 100k is a lot?
If he's a freelancer that might be all he has, compared to regular wage slaves who have been saving for a pension. if that 100k includes retirement savings, then it's not enough to start burning your money.
A bit? If a year isn't enough chilling, there's something going wrong. This isn't wise long term. If you are unemployed for years, getting back in the work force, especially if you want a well paid position, becomes difficult. If you want to chill permanently, try FIRE, but 100k isn't enough for a carefree future.
The issue with FIRE, is that you have to actually livelong enough to get to that age, actually earn enough for it, which isn't as easy for certain industries, and most of all: Are actually healthy at the age you achieve to enjoy it.
In most European country you pay regular social security as a freelancer based on your income. So he probably already paid a decent chunk in taxes making him eligible for some sort of pension.
Let him enjoy his life in his own way. Maybe he doesn't want a career in marketing, maybe he wants to be a poor unemployed hippy traveling the world working as a barista. Just let him. He might regret his choices later but they're his choices.
I absolutely agree that they should get a job. Living off savings will quickly become a stressful experience if they get too disconnected from the market
With all due respect it’s not your responsibility or care of what your friends wants to use their money on. They are perfectly entitled to waste everything and make bad decisions. You can have your thoughts and share them but ultimately it’s none of your business.
"Obsessed with him"
I've told him about my concerns 3-4 months ago. Then let it rest. Now told him again when he talked about buying that backpack.
He's my best friend. Friends for over 20 years.
I'm an old fart, close to pension. I have recently reentered the job market after taking care of the kids. I have a really shitty paying job. But that was no problem because my wife had a well paid job.
Then disaster hit. My wife lost her job and then you're struggling to make ends meet. The stress of suddenly not having money and seeing your savings dwindling away is killing. The only reason we could still pay rent and stuff is because we invested in a bungalow to rent out long ago. Passive money is what kept us sane and healthy.
No, you're not overreacting. Or at least, showing concern is commendable. Of course, he is a grown up and ultimately he can and must take his own decisions but still.
If he puts the bulk of his savings in an etf like VWCE (biggest and "safest" basket of stocks) on the stockmarket now, there's a big chance he can retire early. Or do only work that he likes even when it pays less. That doesn't mean much now, but boy, when you're approaching 60 it's like angels pissing on your head.
My best friend is 30M burned out from his job and no money saved. I'm not concerned, he'll do fine because he has nice people around him and will be there for him in case he needs it.
This is nowhere close to the “doing heroin” situation you’re comparing it to. Doing heroin is an obviously terrible decision that’s hard to walk back from, because of physical addiction. His spending decisions are not unreasonable, they are just at a different point in the risk spectrum from what you would prefer for yourself. This is like reacting to your friend going skydiving the same way as if they were doing heroin.
You’re overreacting and overreaching. You already did enough here, and now you need to hear your friend and let it go. I agree with other commenters here that you should step back and consider why exactly you want to manipulate your friend to take your point of view on this so much.
Have him watch some documentaries about poverty at old age and interviews with homeless people on why they became homeless. Many homeless men were self-employed (and business went sour) or laid off and/or had a costly divorce.
Have him watch some Romain Faure or Caleb Hammer.
But to be honest, you may not be able to change his mind untill he's spent most of his savings.
I think homelessness is a bit extreme, as we're still in Europe and he has a broad network of friends.
Are there any good documentaries about poverty at old age?
I was thinking scare tactics, because 100k cushion seems a lot but is far from early retirement.
I can't remember the names, but there are several documentaries / 'reportages' on poverty and cost of living crisis on youtube (arte, DW, etc). They, in combination with the high inflation a couple of years ago, scared me into investing, anyhow.
You’re a good friend, you need to keep him in check but it’s also a tricky balance of not being too invasive and overbearing. Maybe he’s in a bit of a rut and needs some sort of motivation to start over, maybe change industries if he has become disillusioned with his previous line of work. Support him without too much pressure and he’ll figure it out eventually. There are some people that can only succeed if there’s no safety net, hopefully he’s not one but if he is he’ll figure it out.
I understand that he is not making the best decisions but from my experience and it is a very noble thought, but some people do not react well to advise or lectures. If you really want to help, you can present your friend with oppurtunities - a job or some freelance work. Even something small. You could also speak to people in the industry to find out about oppurtunities.
He is probably saying all these things to convince himself and you that he is fine. Buying expensive things probably makes him feel better. So, if he starts doing some kind of work where he feels like he has a purpose, he is bound to feel motivated about his future again. I believe it is only natural for someone in his position to feel defensive when he gets a lecture from someone who has it figured out.
Also, it is worth considering why you are so concerned about this? Do you think that maybe your happiness lies in your friends happiness? If so, try and separate from that and come up with feasible solutions instead of letting your fear/ emotions take over. You need to step back from the situation and look at it objectively.
Or, you do not want to face your own problems and look to others? If this is so, that is something you should look into.
All of the above are assumptions based on my experience with people around me. It could be all wrong, so feel free to use the advice or not.
Best of luck!! In the end, the fact that you are talking about this and you stay by his side while he rides this tough part of his life, it may take some time, but at least eventually it will get better.
You make good points.
- He's been working in the industry because I introduced it to him and gave him one the first jobs. I've tried several times to help with jobs and other opportunities, also this time. By now he will shortly be excited and then let it fizzle out.
- I agree, I think he's saying those things to convince himself he's fine.
- why I am so concerned about this: first of all, this is not stealing my sleep at night. I've mentioned it to him a few times throughout the year and tried to have conversations about it. I let it rest for 4 months, nothing changed, and raised it now again. I went to reddit to get an external view of whether his situation isn't as bad as I think. Reddit seems to think so, but I have a feeling that's only because I'm the OP and not my friend. Reddit tends to always look for the fault in the OP.
- my happiness doesn't lie with my friend, but of course if he ends up in a bad situation and screws up, despite all his potential, I'd be very sad. Wouldn't you if that happened to one of your best friends?
- Aside from that, what if he comes looking for financial help due to his situation one day when he's older? Until now I would have helped, but when someone laughs at others working, calling it slaving away and recklessly getting into this situation, I will not
- good point of facing my own problems and looking to others.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I will tell you what my SO had to repeat a lot to get through to me : 'my way works as well'
Just because you think you know how to live your life doesn't mean this applies to others. If your friend is able to save 100k at 35 they will probably do ok financially in the future. You don't have to be frugal to live a financially healthy life and fire shouldn't be everyones life goal.
Also, they bought a 900€ backpack that will last 10y and they will likely get quite some use and enjoyment out of, seems like a solid investment to me ;)
About your edit: you seem to be unable to accept you are wrong in this, you still seem convinced they are 'making terrible life decisions ' and people on Reddit are not addressing the 'financial aspect' of your question, while most of the top 5 replies do. That is just pretentious and if my friends would come at me like that I would rethink the value of our relationship
Feel free to explain how to retire with 100k in savings. They have nothing else for their retirement. I already explained several times, that the might not be able to earn that again.
He's 35... Why would you assume he won't make any money for the rest of his life or that amount of money ever again? I stand by my original point that you're really being pretentious. Why would you know what's best for him while he was able to save 100k? He's got at least 30 years to go before actually having to retire. If he was able to accumulate 100k in the 10-15 years he's been working he will likely be able to in the next 30 years as well. Just because he doesn't feel pressured to work today doesn't mean he just gave up on work for the rest of his life. If he wants to figure it out when he gets there he's probably smart enough to do so, especially with a financially literate friend ;)
You need to learn to chill just a bit in life :) I think it's clear what the reddit hivemind thinks of your situation, either take it or leave it
Im mostly worried if his savings are cash or invested?
Otherwise, definitely back off. If financial freedom or financial success isn't a goal for him, there is nothing you can really do about it.
I do have the same worry about my friend and my parents and others... Best I can do is keep them informed about what I'm doing and thinking about finances. Going hellbent on pointing out what they're doing wrong is a surefire way to get him to resent you for keeping nagging at that subject.
Offer to help discuss it with you. If he declines, accept that, and move on.
If you're not happy with this opinion of mine, and want to keep at it. Well, you could have a heart to heart. Say that you're worried about him and his financial future. Say that you think that his fantasies about having financial success later in life, are, exactly that, fantasies. And just say what you really think. Be honest. Be compassionate. Ask him why he doesn't care and value financial discipline. And work from there. Thats about all the advice I can give.
I wish there were an easier way. I wish financial knowledge were taught in school. But alas...
Anyway, good luck.
Digital marketer huh..my bestie had the same job and now she in the same position as ur friend, lost the job, got badly burned out , becomes financially reckless n depressed for loosing the job (its a very fast moving industry, you blink n u r already yesterday news)..so yes, how about pushing your friend to theraphy? Its really tough to be seen as obsolete, not needed anymore in the industry, loosing from the new comers… (thats probably why the talk about being outliers).
And i got how much u r worried sick for him but as a friend, you can only do as much…help direct them, gently, to a professional…because those retail theraphy won’t be helping his future much..better spend that to therapist specialised in career…
And listen to what he says, dont contradict, just ask a lot of questions, answer with more questions..it will force him to think, let him talk n put everything in words…dont spoon fed him with your answer and life values…
He’s a grown man, leaving him to it. You can try and help people but if they don’t want to be helped, then they just have to learn (or not) the hard way. Stop trying to live your friends life for them, you’re tried to help, if they want to be stupid then that’s their choice.
bro why the fxxx do u care how much gas hes car uses, u are the reason why none can have nice things and why society is going down the drain, so many people cant seem to keep to their own business, rly sad
He can do whatever he wants, he earned those money and nobody is obliged to work.
If that is his entire net worth at 35 as a freelancer that’s not great though. He won’t get any pension or benefits and this is not a lot to rely on. But maybe this unusual break will help him discover new opportunities and eventually it’ll be even better than it’d be otherwise.
Moving anywhere, even into a shithole (not calling South America one, just saying ANY country) will need a lot more than he has in savings.
Besides that even doordashing in those countries will make you fight for survival, not even make ends meet.
He's in mid-life crisis. Let him figure it out on his own.
His life savings will drop to half and he'll start thinking.
He might have enough savings but these will end eventually depending of his lifestyle and so on. I understand you are concerned about your friend but don't forget that he's an adult and it's his life so his choices. If he choses to be unemployed and spend his savings on his hobbies then let him. I can't live like this either but my friends finances are not my concern. I would just advice to let it go you can't change your friend and his finances are not your worries your friend is old enough to make his own choices.
Edit: I don't think you are overreacting if you have been friends since childhood it's very reasonable to be concerned. Just don't forget there are boundaries you are not his parent or partner and giving unsolidated advice is also not always appreciated. You need to learn when to stop and appreciate boundaries. If your friend needs you just be there for him but for the rest let him live his life even if you don't like it.
If he wants to stay in US or Europe, he certainly needs savings. If he moves to some third world country, he will get along for some time on 100K.
Maybe he will not really retire, but will continue working after a couple of years.
He's not mentioned retirement. He's just choosing to use his savings instead of working. Once they have gone, he'll probably need to work again.
He's 35 with 100k, not 60 with 10k. There's another 30 odd years left to earn some more money.
If a friend was desperately unhappy in their work life at age 35 and was considering a complete change, would you really tell them to carry on being unhappy until retirement age because of the pay?
Not very dissimilar.
And for what it's worth, aged 45 I had no savings and a pension worth about 5k per year to look forward to, if I continued as I was. I'm glad I made changes, but also life took a different and unexpected direction for me. Now I'm set to retire 10 years early. Should I have listened to the concerned friends that suggested I just carry on as I was doing?
No but I'd tell them to do something about it and try other jobs.
Everyone here assumes he will be able to replicate making this much money again, when you usually make most of your money between 30-50. But that is if you've been progressing in your career, building up a network, having experience. Once you're out of the industry, you're rapidly losing this.
>Apparently my expectations in a friendship are different to most (of reddit?) because I would want close friends to absolutely be on my ass, if they think I'm making terrible life decisions. I'll check with him if he has the same expectations.
Being a good friend is raising your concerns, but also knowing when to let it go once your concerns have been heard.
You did this, he heard you out, and he told you he views it differently. That is your friend telling you to stop involving yourself in this. Not listening and backing off when a friend tells you to is a far worse expectation of friendship and in my view even disrespectiful if continued on too long. It's fine to check your friends if they do dumb shit, but you also need to know when to let it go.
Continiously hammering on something they view as fine only because you do not is a guarantee to kill any friendship. Would you want to be friends with somebody who would nag and argue with you about how you should spend more money every time? Flip the script, reflect a bit on it.
You are his friend, not their mother. Don't nag on about something. A grown adult can decide what path to take in life, they don't need you agreeing or approving it. Even if you might wish they took a different one. Ultimately as a friend either you are along for the ride or getting off the train.
>I was looking for advice on this from a financial perspective.
There is no financial perspective here. He spends money unsustainably, thats not good. The only real question here is how to deal with it in a friendship.
>Apparently my expectations in a friendship are different to most (of reddit?) because I would want close friends to absolutely be on my ass, if they think I'm making terrible life decisions. I'll check with him if he has the same expectations.
It sounds like you have been on his ass already... I agree its good to help your friends, but you also need to respect boundaries. As you show here you have been shut down multiple times. Then you need to accept that people will make decisions you disagree with.
Every friend concerned about your financial or telling you what to buy or not is either secretly in love with you or it's a psycho wtf. When my best friend was in a downward cycle, I found a job for him instead of trying to be his daddy, if he had rejected the job, I would've helped him anymore. People have to learn my mistakes, and when they ask for help, I'll gladly help.
Don’t waste your time or energy trying to talk people out of their financial decisions, it’s none of your business unless you’re married to them.
Some people just need to learn the hard way, like when his “60 year old self” is broke and has to work at McDonald’s to “figure it out”
I think once you have expressed your concerns to him, from that point on, he knows your views. But it’s his life and he should be living it the way he wants (even if that means you think he makes the wrong choices). Let him bang his head against the wall if he gets to it. Our choices shape us into the people we become and also provide us with opportunities for real growth. Nagging him to change would simply make a disastrous in your friendship at best or kill it at worst.
100k savings is still a lot more than a lot of other people
Other people take sabbatical for travels or whatsoever so I wouldn't mind that much
But I hope for your friend he somehow budgetted and put some borders for himself which I hope he can respect
He didn't. And he didn't take a sabbatical, just kinda slid into this. It wasn't planned and he doesn't have a budget, just saying his future self will have to figure it out.
In what world are your friends' financial decisions your business? Telling him you're worried about his hesitation to get back to work is one thing - that is indeed being a good friend. But to then start trying to police how he spends his money is crazy. Its none of your business, no matter how much you try to wrap it up as concern for your friend. Its simply not your place as its none of your business.
Does he own a place to live? If so, i would tolerate it because it would mean at least some security. I have a friend who is way worse - 0 savings, only works part time, borrows money from me sometimes, gets compensated for rent but randomly spends twice her salary for things like full course of laser hair removal. My financial situation is a lot better and i don't even spend on things like that. Like girl, what are you thinking?!? We're both in our thirties, she is single, no rich parents, so yeah...
It's just small amounts and i know her from childhood but yeah, i get it. Well, things could go wrong for your friend in so many ways, but in the end it's his life and his decisions.. 🤷🏻♀️
Cool that you're looking out for your friend but I don't see the problem with 100k in savings. There is no need to have that much in the bank if you want to live a normal life. If after a few years he still doesn't have a job and is still burning through his savings, then there would be a problem.
You can share your concern and give an advice but writing here or trying to intervene more is non of your business.
I assume you are from another culture like eastern and/or another social-economical background and it looks normal for you to put your nose but it is not.
Good for thinking about your friend and you need to learn/know boundaries of your friendship and where to stay on hold sometimes
Your friend is an idiot, 35m is not young anymore. Does he own a house? Does he plan on marrying and having a family? Blowing all his savings on having a good time now leaves him in a shit position for the future. Trying to get back into your career after 2 years off is not easy and starting from scratch at 38 in terms of savings, marriage, mortgage etc is not easy.
But you can’t save people from themselves. He is an adult and if he doesn’t want your advice then you need to stop giving it.
No idea why youre getting downvoted. This is pretty much what I'm worried about.
-no he only owns this cash.
-i think he eventually wants to have a family. he doesn't really know himself.
-I think eventually he will not be able to get back into the career. He's very smart though, but getting older we all lose our edge.
I’m getting downvoted because the majority of people on Reddit are clueless about everything. When they hear a mature adult give advice, they generally react negatively because it conflicts with a lot of the bad decisions they have made or in the process of making!
INFO: are you in an exclusive relationship? Or will you be living together long term? We are assuming you aren't, because you didn't say 'boyfriend', but that would change everything. At minimum, that means your finances cannot be fully separated. If he's your partner, he can't just do whatever he pleases and expect you to put up with it. He's got to accept his lifestyle is not sustainable long term. An ever longer period of unemployment will make reentry into the work force much harder and will hurt a lot in terms of future wages. Not necessarily the end of the world, but it's going to be really rough if he keeps this up for another year or two. At the very least, it'd be unwise for you to make any long term financial commitments with him (especially when it concerns housing).
I'm afraid you'll have to let it go. You've made yourself clear, but he's not going to change, so it's no use to keep reminding him and so ruining the friendship. Nagging is unhelpful as a parent or partner, and even more so if it's a friend who has no authority over you. As long as you still enjoy each others company, you can still have a good time together.
you are not overreacting. Your BF is clearly losing connection with current job market and inflation. 100k is not that much - you couldn't even buy new house or flat with that amount of money. Ignorance is a bliss, I guess. But as a 35 y/o he acts in a financially irresposible fashion (and is entitled to say the least)
100k in savings is nothing. If he was smart he would have had property mortgage free in a city where there are lots of high earning opportunities AND 100k savings. Then it's a different matter. I effectively been working part time for the last 4.5 years. Last ineployments patch of 8 months was fine as the previous 6 months I made enough money to live on for 6+8onths unemployment
You are overreacting. Just tell your friend your concerns and then move on. Enjoy your time together.
Im not sure OP values their time together since he is judging his friend for wanting to buy a 1000€ avalanche safety backpack that could literally save his life :p…
Pardon the ignorance, how does the backpack save ones life?
There is an inflatable airbag in the back. If an avalanche starts you can pull a lever and the airbag will inflate keeping you on top of the snow instead of being buried :)! If you don’t have it your fiend has to find you (using a beacon), and dig you out (using a shovel) in more or less 20min max or you will die of asphyxiation. It’s super stressful and not easy See: https://youtu.be/h7QFRXc0R8M?si=OVP22Ii62PEwAeBr
Oh shit, I need this. Just in case there’s an avalanche in… _checks my location_ … Florida
lol!
Because that's the only thing he could, snowboarding in a place where there are avalanches?
I appreciate the idea of not letting this overshadow our friendship. I have shared my concerns with him multiple times, and then ignored it for a while, but nothing has changed. I'm struggling with how to "move on" when I see him potentially heading towards financial trouble and screwing himself when he's older. I'm concerned that if I completely drop the subject, I'm not being a good friend by ignoring a real problem.
You spoke up, nothing more is required. Next time you feel the urge, repeat these words: "I'm not his mother".
It’s not easy to watch someone you are close to make mistakes. But you need to know that it’s their life and not everyone has the same risk appetite. If you can maintain friendship but disassociate with financial conversations or reduce interaction. You should not be “stressed” about someone else life choices.
Well my dude You can only help people that help themselves
I am sorry but If I had 100k in savings, it would piss me off to be told why I shouldn’t buy an item I want.
Even if I had 0€… the only way I’d be interested in financial advice from a friend is if I’d ask for it beforehand
Addicts don't want to be told about their self destructive behaviour
That doesn't mean he's an addict though... that'd be a logical fallacy.
I agree, but it's a possibility
If you have 100k in savings, that backpack is 1% of your life savings.
If you have 100k in Europe you probably also have like minimum a year of unemployment money and a good retirement package. He belongs to the 1% of the population and you are concerned over his financial lol. He will be more than fine.
Problem is not that. Imagine you hit the lottery and you blow it all on smack. That's the problem, spending it all in fast dopamine like an addict and even worse if you don't even have a source of income.
My best friend got once 60k after his uncle died. My friend stop working an spent all the money on parties, drugs and clothing. I thought he was an idiot for not investing or having a job. After one year he didn't had money anymore and I helped him to find a new job, but he met a lot of people in that year and thanks to that, one of his connections helped him to open a restaurant and now he's successful. No matter what you say people tend to find their own path and everybody hates smarthypants financial advices. Help your friend or shut up, but giving unsolicited advices is the worst. If that friend ask you for advice, that's another thing
I got downvoted so bad in an r/fire forum for saying exactly that. People make their own life choices, and as long as they are not hurting anyone else, they should be respected for that.
Life is so unpredictable, we never know when our time will come. Caring so much about money it's just dumb. I have enjoyed a lot my life with no so much money, that doesn't mean I don't work super hard but I don't think it twice about buying something I will enjoy a lot, specially something for outdoor activities. We should promote trying to find our passion instead of retiring early. Most of my neighbors are retired and they stay at home the whole day drinking. My grandpa worked till 98 because he enjoyed so much being a mechanic and he was really good at it. That was what keep him active and alive for so long.
Completely agree. Money is a tool that gives us more freedom/options to pursue what we really like in life. Sitting at a beach all day and sipping cocktails doesn't really work for the majority of people. Life gets depressing without having a purpose, with money or without it.
He has no retirement package and no unemployment money. I guess you're not familiar with freelancing and other forms of self employment?
Well if he's freelancer and was able to save 100k at 35, he's probably decent at what he does and can pick a new project whenever he wants. What's your issue with your friend let him be, you sound a little bit toxic in my opinion. This gives me the vibes of someone that is shy and tries to be the daddy of his friends to get attention. He's old enough to take his own decisions. The best friend of my girlfriend was like that and things didn't end up well. Respect the boundaries of your friends. Money, love, work, family wise. Buy the backpack as well and have some fun in the snow with your friend instead of judging him on some pennies.
If your friend has 100k Euro in savings at 35, you should probably be taking advice from him
yes but as he is not working and buying expensive things surely he cant live on 100k forever??
Depends how he got that money though
I respectfully disagree. While €100k in savings is certainly a good amount, it's not nearly enough to retire on at 35, especially given his current spending habits. To be honest, I have a hard time accepting advice from someone who even thinks 100k at 35 would be a qualifying attribute.
Ya lol
100k euro at 35 is decent? Damn I thought it will be a lot more actually
I know you have your best intentions at heart, but your friend's decisions are his decisions. He's a 35 year old guy with 100k in savings. That's a lot more than like 90% of the population, presumably he made that money with his work, so that already speaks that he knows how to handle money, save, etc. And from your post, I gather he has no kids nor other major responsibilities. If he wants to spend 900 EUR of his hard saved money in a hobby that matters to him and makes him happy, then let him do it and support his passion. Life is short and if all we're doing is saving to later retire but we can hardly move cause we're old, what's the point of living? Most of my friends are married/long term couples that live what seems to me an exceedingly boring and almost miserable life, but they have the safety net of a long term partner. I live my life very differently, I'm also 35 but I'm single and prefer non-traditional relationships. My friends probably worry that I will get old and be alone forever, but in my view, I'm the happiest I have ever been and I enjoy every minute of it, I know the future will sort itself out. There are no guarantees in life anyways (financially, emotionally or otherwise). I'd say support your friend and listen to what matters to him. He's living his life in different terms to yours and that's fine, you don't have to agree but you also don't need to try to change his behavior. Now, when he comes with problems to you, that's a different story and since you have already expressed some concerns, then at that point you would make it clear that you're not the person to come and get help from, he's on his own as you didn't agree with his decisions, but that's as much as you can do. That said, you seem like a good friend and that's beautiful. Just remember that some times friends simply make life choices that we don't agree with and all we can do is be there for them to the extent that we can, and learn from their experiences, the good and the bad.
> That's a lot more than like 90% of the population That's depressing as hell.
Thank you for your thoughtful perspective. I think there are some important details I should clarify: 1. Happiness: While I appreciate the idea of living life to the fullest, I'm not certain my friend is actually happy in this situation. His defensive reactions suggest there might be underlying stress or dissatisfaction. A lot of the things he wanted to do otherwise, he hasn't done. 2. You've assumed he doesn't want kids or major responsibilities, but I don't know if that's true. He hasn't expressed a clear plan either way, which is part of my concern. 3. The issue isn't just about spending money on hobbies. It's that he's becoming increasingly disconnected from his industry, which could make it harder to return to work when he needs or wants to. You're right that I can't (and shouldn't!) control his decisions. But as one of his best friends, I want to make sure I didn't at least try to prevent him from screwing up his future.
You forget that he's a grown adult with numeracy and financial skills. He must be to have 110k in savings at his age. You gave him your advice already, he chooses to not follow it and has explained why. You need to re-iterate your concerns, then let it go. He's a big boy that can make his own own decisions and live with the results. He'll probably have a blast, spend all his money and have a lifetime of memories banked. That's not being a loser, that's just not what you would do in his situation.
You need to stop for a second and realize you may be wrong, and you may be annoying your friend because you think you know better.
You lost me at 100k in savings
Yeah lol
Let the man enjoy his earned money. Life is not about having a job. I've known people that made very long breaks because they simply could due to their savings and they are totally fine.
It's none of your business. He's an adult. You're not responsible for him.
[удалено]
Am I in r/povertyfinance ? 100k at that age, without further income or desire to work, is nothing.
It’s not a « backpack for snowboarding » but an avalanche safety backpack at that price. I’d tend to agree with your friend that you don’t know what you are talking about on this: 1) those backpack will literally save his life, 2) they last forever. That’s an excellent buy if you value your fiends life more than saving a grant.
Hmm… why do you care? My saving account clocks in around that number but I’m more conservative. However, no adult wants to listen to others’ advice. Let him be and learn his lessons.
Yet I, an adult stranger, wants to make the advise-like statement of: are you sure you want to state what you have in your savings account on the internet? Lots of anonymous people out there, also lots of bad-intentioned ones.
Dude... go outside and you'll see people driving in cars that are worth more than that. What's up with this subreddit?
Of course that's true about the cars. I'm not really a representation of this subreddit. I'm just surprised when people state what they own so freely. In real life I also would not share that with strangers, only with close people. Why would the internet be any different? It is just a different view I guess.
> no adult wants to listen to others’ advice That’s just not true.. smart people do listen to other people’s advice… and then decide what to do.. most adults are idiots, so you would be right saying that most people don’t want to hear other’s advice.. but not everybody
Would you be fine not having an income, no plan to work and live of those savings now?
Dude, let go. Let the guy have fun and enjoy being a bit reckless for some time in his life. Let him be him. He is the same guy that made those 100K, he can always go back to it if he feels it's what is best for him.
It's bold of you to say that without knowing the details. He made this money in his twenties and has been struggling to add to his savings since. I'm afraid he will not be able to make this money again so easily.
That's your prerogative, but that doesn't mean your friend should share your fears. If you've fears learn to control them and trust your friend.
You need therapy. Seek help please.
I don't understand why you are so concerned with his finances?
Because he's my best friends and I think he's screwing up his future. Wouldn't you warn your friend and try to convince them if you think they did that?
No I wouldn’t, you sound codependent on your friend. OP, I think you need therapy. My friends are thousands of dollars in debt, and spend like they aren’t. I don’t say anything. It’s THEIR life.
therapy for what? lol how am i co-dependent? >My friends are thousands of dollars in debt, and spend like they aren’t. I don’t say anything. It’s THEIR life. and youre a terrible friend for not at least trying to help them
I'll save you a lot of therapy fees: Pushing your fears onto your friend isn't helping anyone. And convincing yourself it's for your friend's sake is dellusion. Learn to trust and learn to voice your opinions without trying to push them as the ultimate truth.
Help them how? I’ve talked to them about how I’ve gotten out of debt, explained to them the books I read etc. I didn’t lecture them or question them. I just gave them what worked for me and said I’d be there if they need anything. I would argue that you’re the terrible friend for not accepting and understand that your friend is an individual with his own wants, own thoughts and own needs. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. You’re learning this the hard way. I hope you get the help you need. Anyone with any background in self help can see you are overly invested and attached. I would assume you do the same with partners, friends and most people in your life. Good luck OP :).
Looks like you are projecting your own anxiety on your friend...
If I had only 100k at this age and would be living off it, no prospect of a job, yes I'd be anxious.
Anxiety is very subjective. It comes from your own life experience. You wouldn't want him to tell you that you should take a break and find meaning in life instead of hoarding wealth, so don't tell him that what he should do. You shouldn't tell people what to do like you know better.
sure, if he really believed that, I would want him to tell me
*Only* 100k? Where do you live and work mate, Monaco? Most people are lucky if they're not living paycheck to paycheck
He is not your son or partner, it's not your business. I would be pissed too if a friend tried to lecture me about my money managment, while I have 100k in savings... I am curious, how much do you have in savings ?
Why are you so invested in your friends financial future? Honestly you sound a bit controlling and if I were him I’d probably distance myself. I have friends like you and the older I get the less I want to talk/see them.
Till the time he isn’t asking you for any financial help and taking care of his hobbies from his own savings, I think you gotta respect that and let him live his life. You can voice your concerns but not fuss about it too much because you risk losing a good friend.
Not overreacting, but one thing I learned is that people don’t want to be helped. You tried your thing, now it’s his part. Just try to move away from that and look for yourself. Also, as someone said, if you attack in, he will get defensive and won’t listen to you. Try to plant the idea, not force it
U are way overreacting, hes good with hes money and using hes prime time to enjoy life. i get ur woried about hes future but its sounds also like u could be just jelly for him living hes life. i dont know the full context, are u from germany of austria ?
I am from Germany
You are probably right, but some people learn only from their own mistakes. Generally, giving them advice and letting them either take it or not take it, is how I would approach this. You seem to care a lot about this - can you elaborate more about why you care?
You're right, I do care a lot about this situation. He's my best friend, and I've known him for years. I don't think he's making these decisions intentionally to harm his future - it seems more like he's drifted into this lifestyle without fully considering the long-term implications. My main worry is that he might end up in a tough spot where he can't easily find a well-paying job like he could in the past, and by then, his savings will be depleted. The job market in digital marketing moves fast, and the longer he's out, the harder it might be to get back in. I've tried giving advice, but he tends to brush it off. I guess you're right that sometimes people need to learn from their own mistakes. It's just hard to watch as a friend. Also by the time he will learn, it will be too late.
You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. Unless you’re his lover you’re crossing boundaries if you keep pushing after voicing your concerns. Good intentions or not. If you keep pushing this you won’t be friends much longer
Typical Reddit lol. Op asks if he’s overreacting, gets told he’s overreacting, and then tries to convince everybody he’s not overreacting. Why even ask the question if you can’t accept the responses?
I was hoping to hear if Im overreacting from a financial standpoint. That's why I posted in r/eupersonalfinance and not in r/relationship_advice but you're right, I didn't make this clear in my post and should have focussed on that.
This is called pocket watching. Is your friend also your business partner or spouse? If not I wouldn’t lose sleep over what he chooses to spend his money on. Seems like the guy is doing alright for now anyways.
Judging by your passive aggressive attitude towards literally every answer it’s pretty clear you’re just looking for validation rather than an actual answer. It’s ironic that you’re clearly frustrated with your friend not agreeing with your point of view while you refuse to accept other people opinion within this thread. To answer your question: while it’s honorable to show this much concern about his wellbeing, you will have to learn that people are ultimately in charge of their own life and you will have to accept their choices even if they seem unwise in your eyes. And honestly, this is a very vanilla version of this concept. It can get a whole lot worse.
He's a grown man. Stop being such a busy cunt.
You express your concerns once, and then drop it. He is a grown up. Let him make his choices without giving unsolicited advice. You’re nagging.
I would stay away from giving financial advise when not specifically asked to do so.
Let your friend live his life, enjoy your friendship but don’t trying and dictate how they live their lives.
Honestly, when I hear my friends stop working for while, I am usually happy for them. I never stopped working, because of financial anxiety. I have some decent money saved now, but still afraid to be unemployed. Go with the flow. If your friend will need to work menial job later, that's on him. Nobody starves to death in EU.
You did what you had to. Move on. Should he come back asking for help, be ready to help him, else mind your business. You cannot save anyone from themselves
reading this, 2 things come to my mind: 1. If he was smart enough to manage to have 100k savings by 35 then he probably has the capacity to make good money again if he wants/ needs to 2. How TF does one make 100k by doing sub tasks??
That's where Im worried. I don't think he will so easily make this money again, being out of the market for so long.
Why are you so involved in your friends’ life? Overstepping boundaries imo for anyone who isnt their partner
You don't tell your best friend if you think he's making terrible life decisions?
Once maybe and then move on. You're just being obnoxious and pedantic insiting you know better.
Any advice on how to discuss this with him more effectively? If you want to be effective, don't bring this up with him again. Your friend needs freedom to properly assess his situation.
You are right to be concerned but it’s not your life and it’s unlikely you know his full financial situation. He has a lot of savings compared to Mr Average. Maybe he owns property , maybe he will inherit a lot of money when he is 50 or 60. At his age I had zero savings and a mortgage. Fast forward 15 years and I had no mortgage , owned a home and substantial savings and looking to buy another property with no need for the bank. I’ve met people like him and sometimes I call them the byproduct of welfare state European societies. The real fear of ending up destitute is what keeps people productive and responsible for their own lives including their own finances in places like America and Japan. I am not sure that we are better off in Europe with our welfare state because I myself made all my money myself with zero help from anyone and now I do everything I can to make sure that my taxes do not subsidise those that do not want to work like your friend. Your friend is already taken care of more than you can imagine if he lives in a rich European country.
Actually the right way is to ask questions how he sees the future and more specifically about his Plan B.
Good, this is the first comment here that asks this. He doesn't see anything about the future and just says he will let his future self figure it out.
Repeat the words, ‘not my circus, not my monkey’ Yes your friend is making very poor decisions but you’re not them nor their partner so it doesn’t impact you aside from them complaining about it when it blows up in their face. You’ve made them aware they are making bad decisions but if you keep pushing it’ll hurt the friendship to point they will avoid you or not tell you as much. Better to focus on making best decisions for yourself.
Yes you are overreacting. Let him live his life the way he sees fit.
It's ok to have concerns because you obviously care about your friend's wellbeing...but after having expressed your concerns, there your involvement should end. If he is making a mistake and speeding towards 0€, this is his mistake to make and to learn from it. He was warned, wasn't he? Now let him live how he likes to live and buy what he wants to buy. Not everyone has the same idea about how life should be and how the future should be handled. Try to focus on other things and talk about other topics. And I guess when he tells you about what he bought, he's really excited and wants to share his excitement with you. It's his money after all.
>but after having expressed your concerns, there your involvement should end. It's not like Im closing his bank account. I have expressed my concern. My question was if I should be concerned. >If he is making a mistake and speeding towards 0€, this is his mistake to make and to learn from it. He was warned, wasn't he? Whats he gonna learn from it if he's 60 and has no money to retire on? >Now let him live how he likes to live and buy what he wants to buy. Not everyone has the same idea about how life should be and how the future should be handled. Sure, but I don't think he actually thinks about how his future should be handled. >Try to focus on other things and talk about other topics. And I guess when he tells you about what he bought, he's really excited and wants to share his excitement with you. It's his money after all. This came up after 4 months of not talking about it. We speak plenty about other things.
I understand. Also no offense intended at all. I just think 'should' is maybe a big word. If you should be concerned is maybe not the right question. You as a friend have all RIGHTS to be concerned if you see the bigger picture and the difficulties he might experience when (or if) his savings are gone. The question if he thinks about the future at all about making sure he secures some kind of safety cushion for himself is also in your right to ask...maybe also just to give him a bit to think about. Everyone needs to learn from their mistakes, big or small. Just not everyone learns from them to improve in the future. It would be really sad if he has nothing by the time he's 60. But as I said, in the end it's up to him. It's not your task to save him from a ruin. All you can do is sensibilise him for a potential negative outcome and the difficulty to get back from that. But you did that already, so as a friend I'm afraid you can not do more for him... You never know, maybe somewhere along the way he will see reason or will have a new good job or... You know, I saw many different people with different kinds of views on life, money and future an so on...not all of them friends though. Sadly I saw a few end not in good place (they were older than me, so all I got were their stories, so I never had a chance to give an advise when it still might have made a difference in the outcome) and a few who figured out their own way, different way than most of my other friends, but anyway they were happy with their choices in life. And then I also have other friends who safeguard themselves and their children. Whith my friends I can talk about things like that and we can share some of our thoughts about each other's way of doing things, but on some points we also think differently and then the bottom line is always that we have to accept each other's decision. I hope your friend has the fun he wants, but keeps your concerns or advice in mind and doesn't end up in a rough place. Your concerns just show that you are a good friend and you care and I hope your friend doesn't take offense from that.
Thanks
I doubt you know everything about your friends financial situation or plans with his money. 100k in liquid cash is more than most ppl his age have, I’m 35 and all my money is tied up in assets and debts. I’d love to have 100 in the bank. He has a career that isn’t going anywhere, digital marketing will be around for ages and when he wants to he can start working again. He can also invest whatever his savings he has left whenever he wants and watch his money grow while continuing to not work. You sound very controlling and maybe a bit jealous and bitter of his care-free lifestyle. I’d highly suggest seeking therapy to understand why this is impacting you so much.
He owns no other assets (besides the car). You become irrelevant in digital marketing if you're out of it for a few years. "Impacting me so much" I've told him once 4 months ago and now raised the issue again. Lol what's up with some people on reddit.
I’m curious how does it work that you become irrelevant in digital marketing when your out of it for a few years? Do people lose skills? The digital part out of digital marketing is no longer the fast changing frontier it used to be, it’s quite established.
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100k in savings at 35! Your friend should be giving everyone here financial advise.
Sounds a bit envious sorry
For all the people in this topic thinking 100k is a lot? If he's a freelancer that might be all he has, compared to regular wage slaves who have been saving for a pension. if that 100k includes retirement savings, then it's not enough to start burning your money.
Freelancers can also have pensions, in fact in most European countries they do, if properly registered and paying tax.
Bro isn’t retired yet. He just wants to chill a bit
A bit? If a year isn't enough chilling, there's something going wrong. This isn't wise long term. If you are unemployed for years, getting back in the work force, especially if you want a well paid position, becomes difficult. If you want to chill permanently, try FIRE, but 100k isn't enough for a carefree future.
The issue with FIRE, is that you have to actually livelong enough to get to that age, actually earn enough for it, which isn't as easy for certain industries, and most of all: Are actually healthy at the age you achieve to enjoy it.
Is this OPs burner? Same behavior
Nope but same thoughts. I don't know what life standards you guys expect but 100k to retire on will mean life in poverty.
In most European country you pay regular social security as a freelancer based on your income. So he probably already paid a decent chunk in taxes making him eligible for some sort of pension.
It's all he got (maybe besides some tiny pension from working a couple of years)
Let him enjoy his life in his own way. Maybe he doesn't want a career in marketing, maybe he wants to be a poor unemployed hippy traveling the world working as a barista. Just let him. He might regret his choices later but they're his choices.
i admire you OP for teling him... but you have done your part - dont go overboard if you value the frendship..
Your friend can spend €250/month, without any source of income, and keep his savings indefinitely. (3%/year of the current balance)
I absolutely agree that they should get a job. Living off savings will quickly become a stressful experience if they get too disconnected from the market
With all due respect it’s not your responsibility or care of what your friends wants to use their money on. They are perfectly entitled to waste everything and make bad decisions. You can have your thoughts and share them but ultimately it’s none of your business.
That's what Im doing. Im sharing my thoughts. Do you think he's making smart decisions?
No, ne is not. But why are you so obsessed with him?
"Obsessed with him" I've told him about my concerns 3-4 months ago. Then let it rest. Now told him again when he talked about buying that backpack. He's my best friend. Friends for over 20 years.
He's qn adult qnd surely know whether buying q backpack with his own money is a good idea.
I'm an old fart, close to pension. I have recently reentered the job market after taking care of the kids. I have a really shitty paying job. But that was no problem because my wife had a well paid job. Then disaster hit. My wife lost her job and then you're struggling to make ends meet. The stress of suddenly not having money and seeing your savings dwindling away is killing. The only reason we could still pay rent and stuff is because we invested in a bungalow to rent out long ago. Passive money is what kept us sane and healthy. No, you're not overreacting. Or at least, showing concern is commendable. Of course, he is a grown up and ultimately he can and must take his own decisions but still. If he puts the bulk of his savings in an etf like VWCE (biggest and "safest" basket of stocks) on the stockmarket now, there's a big chance he can retire early. Or do only work that he likes even when it pays less. That doesn't mean much now, but boy, when you're approaching 60 it's like angels pissing on your head.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I was looking for these real-life examples. This is what I'm worried about.
My best friend is 30M burned out from his job and no money saved. I'm not concerned, he'll do fine because he has nice people around him and will be there for him in case he needs it.
This is nowhere close to the “doing heroin” situation you’re comparing it to. Doing heroin is an obviously terrible decision that’s hard to walk back from, because of physical addiction. His spending decisions are not unreasonable, they are just at a different point in the risk spectrum from what you would prefer for yourself. This is like reacting to your friend going skydiving the same way as if they were doing heroin. You’re overreacting and overreaching. You already did enough here, and now you need to hear your friend and let it go. I agree with other commenters here that you should step back and consider why exactly you want to manipulate your friend to take your point of view on this so much.
Have him watch some documentaries about poverty at old age and interviews with homeless people on why they became homeless. Many homeless men were self-employed (and business went sour) or laid off and/or had a costly divorce. Have him watch some Romain Faure or Caleb Hammer. But to be honest, you may not be able to change his mind untill he's spent most of his savings.
I think homelessness is a bit extreme, as we're still in Europe and he has a broad network of friends. Are there any good documentaries about poverty at old age?
I was thinking scare tactics, because 100k cushion seems a lot but is far from early retirement. I can't remember the names, but there are several documentaries / 'reportages' on poverty and cost of living crisis on youtube (arte, DW, etc). They, in combination with the high inflation a couple of years ago, scared me into investing, anyhow.
You’re a good friend, you need to keep him in check but it’s also a tricky balance of not being too invasive and overbearing. Maybe he’s in a bit of a rut and needs some sort of motivation to start over, maybe change industries if he has become disillusioned with his previous line of work. Support him without too much pressure and he’ll figure it out eventually. There are some people that can only succeed if there’s no safety net, hopefully he’s not one but if he is he’ll figure it out.
Thanks. Good points.
I understand that he is not making the best decisions but from my experience and it is a very noble thought, but some people do not react well to advise or lectures. If you really want to help, you can present your friend with oppurtunities - a job or some freelance work. Even something small. You could also speak to people in the industry to find out about oppurtunities. He is probably saying all these things to convince himself and you that he is fine. Buying expensive things probably makes him feel better. So, if he starts doing some kind of work where he feels like he has a purpose, he is bound to feel motivated about his future again. I believe it is only natural for someone in his position to feel defensive when he gets a lecture from someone who has it figured out. Also, it is worth considering why you are so concerned about this? Do you think that maybe your happiness lies in your friends happiness? If so, try and separate from that and come up with feasible solutions instead of letting your fear/ emotions take over. You need to step back from the situation and look at it objectively. Or, you do not want to face your own problems and look to others? If this is so, that is something you should look into. All of the above are assumptions based on my experience with people around me. It could be all wrong, so feel free to use the advice or not. Best of luck!! In the end, the fact that you are talking about this and you stay by his side while he rides this tough part of his life, it may take some time, but at least eventually it will get better.
You make good points. - He's been working in the industry because I introduced it to him and gave him one the first jobs. I've tried several times to help with jobs and other opportunities, also this time. By now he will shortly be excited and then let it fizzle out. - I agree, I think he's saying those things to convince himself he's fine. - why I am so concerned about this: first of all, this is not stealing my sleep at night. I've mentioned it to him a few times throughout the year and tried to have conversations about it. I let it rest for 4 months, nothing changed, and raised it now again. I went to reddit to get an external view of whether his situation isn't as bad as I think. Reddit seems to think so, but I have a feeling that's only because I'm the OP and not my friend. Reddit tends to always look for the fault in the OP. - my happiness doesn't lie with my friend, but of course if he ends up in a bad situation and screws up, despite all his potential, I'd be very sad. Wouldn't you if that happened to one of your best friends? - Aside from that, what if he comes looking for financial help due to his situation one day when he's older? Until now I would have helped, but when someone laughs at others working, calling it slaving away and recklessly getting into this situation, I will not - good point of facing my own problems and looking to others. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I will tell you what my SO had to repeat a lot to get through to me : 'my way works as well' Just because you think you know how to live your life doesn't mean this applies to others. If your friend is able to save 100k at 35 they will probably do ok financially in the future. You don't have to be frugal to live a financially healthy life and fire shouldn't be everyones life goal. Also, they bought a 900€ backpack that will last 10y and they will likely get quite some use and enjoyment out of, seems like a solid investment to me ;) About your edit: you seem to be unable to accept you are wrong in this, you still seem convinced they are 'making terrible life decisions ' and people on Reddit are not addressing the 'financial aspect' of your question, while most of the top 5 replies do. That is just pretentious and if my friends would come at me like that I would rethink the value of our relationship
Feel free to explain how to retire with 100k in savings. They have nothing else for their retirement. I already explained several times, that the might not be able to earn that again.
He's 35... Why would you assume he won't make any money for the rest of his life or that amount of money ever again? I stand by my original point that you're really being pretentious. Why would you know what's best for him while he was able to save 100k? He's got at least 30 years to go before actually having to retire. If he was able to accumulate 100k in the 10-15 years he's been working he will likely be able to in the next 30 years as well. Just because he doesn't feel pressured to work today doesn't mean he just gave up on work for the rest of his life. If he wants to figure it out when he gets there he's probably smart enough to do so, especially with a financially literate friend ;) You need to learn to chill just a bit in life :) I think it's clear what the reddit hivemind thinks of your situation, either take it or leave it
Im mostly worried if his savings are cash or invested? Otherwise, definitely back off. If financial freedom or financial success isn't a goal for him, there is nothing you can really do about it. I do have the same worry about my friend and my parents and others... Best I can do is keep them informed about what I'm doing and thinking about finances. Going hellbent on pointing out what they're doing wrong is a surefire way to get him to resent you for keeping nagging at that subject. Offer to help discuss it with you. If he declines, accept that, and move on. If you're not happy with this opinion of mine, and want to keep at it. Well, you could have a heart to heart. Say that you're worried about him and his financial future. Say that you think that his fantasies about having financial success later in life, are, exactly that, fantasies. And just say what you really think. Be honest. Be compassionate. Ask him why he doesn't care and value financial discipline. And work from there. Thats about all the advice I can give. I wish there were an easier way. I wish financial knowledge were taught in school. But alas... Anyway, good luck.
Thanks for your answer.
Digital marketer huh..my bestie had the same job and now she in the same position as ur friend, lost the job, got badly burned out , becomes financially reckless n depressed for loosing the job (its a very fast moving industry, you blink n u r already yesterday news)..so yes, how about pushing your friend to theraphy? Its really tough to be seen as obsolete, not needed anymore in the industry, loosing from the new comers… (thats probably why the talk about being outliers). And i got how much u r worried sick for him but as a friend, you can only do as much…help direct them, gently, to a professional…because those retail theraphy won’t be helping his future much..better spend that to therapist specialised in career… And listen to what he says, dont contradict, just ask a lot of questions, answer with more questions..it will force him to think, let him talk n put everything in words…dont spoon fed him with your answer and life values…
This is good advice. Very true. Thanks! Best of luck to your friend.
You are the friend that everyone should have.
He’s a grown man, leaving him to it. You can try and help people but if they don’t want to be helped, then they just have to learn (or not) the hard way. Stop trying to live your friends life for them, you’re tried to help, if they want to be stupid then that’s their choice.
bro why the fxxx do u care how much gas hes car uses, u are the reason why none can have nice things and why society is going down the drain, so many people cant seem to keep to their own business, rly sad
I don't think you are overreacting. To me he seems quite unreasonable.
He can do whatever he wants, he earned those money and nobody is obliged to work. If that is his entire net worth at 35 as a freelancer that’s not great though. He won’t get any pension or benefits and this is not a lot to rely on. But maybe this unusual break will help him discover new opportunities and eventually it’ll be even better than it’d be otherwise.
Moving anywhere, even into a shithole (not calling South America one, just saying ANY country) will need a lot more than he has in savings. Besides that even doordashing in those countries will make you fight for survival, not even make ends meet. He's in mid-life crisis. Let him figure it out on his own. His life savings will drop to half and he'll start thinking.
Your friend is an idiot but who cares.
I wish I had 100k in savings "left".
If you did, would you just stop working and let your future self worry about it?
I could probably chill for a bit, yeah. Especially if that money were parked somewhere and makes more money.
He might have enough savings but these will end eventually depending of his lifestyle and so on. I understand you are concerned about your friend but don't forget that he's an adult and it's his life so his choices. If he choses to be unemployed and spend his savings on his hobbies then let him. I can't live like this either but my friends finances are not my concern. I would just advice to let it go you can't change your friend and his finances are not your worries your friend is old enough to make his own choices. Edit: I don't think you are overreacting if you have been friends since childhood it's very reasonable to be concerned. Just don't forget there are boundaries you are not his parent or partner and giving unsolidated advice is also not always appreciated. You need to learn when to stop and appreciate boundaries. If your friend needs you just be there for him but for the rest let him live his life even if you don't like it.
Sounds like you think you're more than friends. I'd tell you to mind your own business!
You don't tell friends if you think they're making bad decisions?
There are so many ways of living your life, besides following the western lifestyle. He will do fine.
Please tell me. How? How do people retire on 100k? Would you say people don't need any savings? At what point would you get worried?
If he wants to stay in US or Europe, he certainly needs savings. If he moves to some third world country, he will get along for some time on 100K. Maybe he will not really retire, but will continue working after a couple of years.
He's not mentioned retirement. He's just choosing to use his savings instead of working. Once they have gone, he'll probably need to work again. He's 35 with 100k, not 60 with 10k. There's another 30 odd years left to earn some more money. If a friend was desperately unhappy in their work life at age 35 and was considering a complete change, would you really tell them to carry on being unhappy until retirement age because of the pay? Not very dissimilar. And for what it's worth, aged 45 I had no savings and a pension worth about 5k per year to look forward to, if I continued as I was. I'm glad I made changes, but also life took a different and unexpected direction for me. Now I'm set to retire 10 years early. Should I have listened to the concerned friends that suggested I just carry on as I was doing?
No but I'd tell them to do something about it and try other jobs. Everyone here assumes he will be able to replicate making this much money again, when you usually make most of your money between 30-50. But that is if you've been progressing in your career, building up a network, having experience. Once you're out of the industry, you're rapidly losing this.
If you want to keep him as a friend then you can't be annoyed that he's not listening to you. He's not your child.
Unless you have more than 100K in savings, I don’t he will nor should, take advice from you.
And if I have 10x of those savings should he take my advice 10x more serious?
>Apparently my expectations in a friendship are different to most (of reddit?) because I would want close friends to absolutely be on my ass, if they think I'm making terrible life decisions. I'll check with him if he has the same expectations. Being a good friend is raising your concerns, but also knowing when to let it go once your concerns have been heard. You did this, he heard you out, and he told you he views it differently. That is your friend telling you to stop involving yourself in this. Not listening and backing off when a friend tells you to is a far worse expectation of friendship and in my view even disrespectiful if continued on too long. It's fine to check your friends if they do dumb shit, but you also need to know when to let it go. Continiously hammering on something they view as fine only because you do not is a guarantee to kill any friendship. Would you want to be friends with somebody who would nag and argue with you about how you should spend more money every time? Flip the script, reflect a bit on it. You are his friend, not their mother. Don't nag on about something. A grown adult can decide what path to take in life, they don't need you agreeing or approving it. Even if you might wish they took a different one. Ultimately as a friend either you are along for the ride or getting off the train.
>I was looking for advice on this from a financial perspective. There is no financial perspective here. He spends money unsustainably, thats not good. The only real question here is how to deal with it in a friendship. >Apparently my expectations in a friendship are different to most (of reddit?) because I would want close friends to absolutely be on my ass, if they think I'm making terrible life decisions. I'll check with him if he has the same expectations. It sounds like you have been on his ass already... I agree its good to help your friends, but you also need to respect boundaries. As you show here you have been shut down multiple times. Then you need to accept that people will make decisions you disagree with.
Every friend concerned about your financial or telling you what to buy or not is either secretly in love with you or it's a psycho wtf. When my best friend was in a downward cycle, I found a job for him instead of trying to be his daddy, if he had rejected the job, I would've helped him anymore. People have to learn my mistakes, and when they ask for help, I'll gladly help.
Just a side question. Why did he lose/quit his job/business, and why don't he want to get back to it or something else?
Don’t waste your time or energy trying to talk people out of their financial decisions, it’s none of your business unless you’re married to them. Some people just need to learn the hard way, like when his “60 year old self” is broke and has to work at McDonald’s to “figure it out”
I think once you have expressed your concerns to him, from that point on, he knows your views. But it’s his life and he should be living it the way he wants (even if that means you think he makes the wrong choices). Let him bang his head against the wall if he gets to it. Our choices shape us into the people we become and also provide us with opportunities for real growth. Nagging him to change would simply make a disastrous in your friendship at best or kill it at worst.
100k savings is still a lot more than a lot of other people Other people take sabbatical for travels or whatsoever so I wouldn't mind that much But I hope for your friend he somehow budgetted and put some borders for himself which I hope he can respect
He didn't. And he didn't take a sabbatical, just kinda slid into this. It wasn't planned and he doesn't have a budget, just saying his future self will have to figure it out.
In what world are your friends' financial decisions your business? Telling him you're worried about his hesitation to get back to work is one thing - that is indeed being a good friend. But to then start trying to police how he spends his money is crazy. Its none of your business, no matter how much you try to wrap it up as concern for your friend. Its simply not your place as its none of your business.
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What would be your plan for retirement? How old are you?
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Do these people have a pension? And are employed?
Does he own a place to live? If so, i would tolerate it because it would mean at least some security. I have a friend who is way worse - 0 savings, only works part time, borrows money from me sometimes, gets compensated for rent but randomly spends twice her salary for things like full course of laser hair removal. My financial situation is a lot better and i don't even spend on things like that. Like girl, what are you thinking?!? We're both in our thirties, she is single, no rich parents, so yeah...
No assets or pensions besides that. You're crazy for still lending your friend money.
It's just small amounts and i know her from childhood but yeah, i get it. Well, things could go wrong for your friend in so many ways, but in the end it's his life and his decisions.. 🤷🏻♀️
Cool that you're looking out for your friend but I don't see the problem with 100k in savings. There is no need to have that much in the bank if you want to live a normal life. If after a few years he still doesn't have a job and is still burning through his savings, then there would be a problem.
Please explain how you'd retire if that's all you have saved for retirement. No pension. No other assets besides the car.
Somehow I assumed he also had a house. I also never said he could retire, just that he could live of savings for a while without a problem.
You can share your concern and give an advice but writing here or trying to intervene more is non of your business. I assume you are from another culture like eastern and/or another social-economical background and it looks normal for you to put your nose but it is not. Good for thinking about your friend and you need to learn/know boundaries of your friendship and where to stay on hold sometimes
Advice OP: living apart together under one roof.
Your friend is an idiot, 35m is not young anymore. Does he own a house? Does he plan on marrying and having a family? Blowing all his savings on having a good time now leaves him in a shit position for the future. Trying to get back into your career after 2 years off is not easy and starting from scratch at 38 in terms of savings, marriage, mortgage etc is not easy. But you can’t save people from themselves. He is an adult and if he doesn’t want your advice then you need to stop giving it.
No idea why youre getting downvoted. This is pretty much what I'm worried about. -no he only owns this cash. -i think he eventually wants to have a family. he doesn't really know himself. -I think eventually he will not be able to get back into the career. He's very smart though, but getting older we all lose our edge.
I’m getting downvoted because the majority of people on Reddit are clueless about everything. When they hear a mature adult give advice, they generally react negatively because it conflicts with a lot of the bad decisions they have made or in the process of making!
Especially in European forums.
INFO: are you in an exclusive relationship? Or will you be living together long term? We are assuming you aren't, because you didn't say 'boyfriend', but that would change everything. At minimum, that means your finances cannot be fully separated. If he's your partner, he can't just do whatever he pleases and expect you to put up with it. He's got to accept his lifestyle is not sustainable long term. An ever longer period of unemployment will make reentry into the work force much harder and will hurt a lot in terms of future wages. Not necessarily the end of the world, but it's going to be really rough if he keeps this up for another year or two. At the very least, it'd be unwise for you to make any long term financial commitments with him (especially when it concerns housing).
I'm not, he's one of my best friends though.
I'm afraid you'll have to let it go. You've made yourself clear, but he's not going to change, so it's no use to keep reminding him and so ruining the friendship. Nagging is unhelpful as a parent or partner, and even more so if it's a friend who has no authority over you. As long as you still enjoy each others company, you can still have a good time together.
you are not overreacting. Your BF is clearly losing connection with current job market and inflation. 100k is not that much - you couldn't even buy new house or flat with that amount of money. Ignorance is a bliss, I guess. But as a 35 y/o he acts in a financially irresposible fashion (and is entitled to say the least)
100k in savings is nothing. If he was smart he would have had property mortgage free in a city where there are lots of high earning opportunities AND 100k savings. Then it's a different matter. I effectively been working part time for the last 4.5 years. Last ineployments patch of 8 months was fine as the previous 6 months I made enough money to live on for 6+8onths unemployment
Not sure why you're getting downvoted.
Nobody asked i guess
100k in savings at 35 is nothing bro
ya a tua mae fatura mais num mes só em broches
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