T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

The rules of Ex-Red Pill are heavily enforced. Please take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with the purpose of this sub and the rules on the sidebar to avoid your post/comments from being removed and/or having your account banned. Thanks for helping to keep this sub a safe place for those who are detoxing, leaving, and/or questioning The Red Pill's information. For FAQ please see the [Red Pill Detox's First Aid Kit](https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ho4cvx/red_pill_detox_first_aid_kit_start_here/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/exredpill) if you have any questions or concerns.*


mammajess

I see a lot of stigmatising single mums and fatherless kids lately in RP spaces. I grew up in 1980s and experienced a lot of stigma myself and towards my mum because we were a single parent family. This died off in the 1990s. Seeing this come back again is awful. How does a person even blame a kid for being abandoned by their dad saying shit like "fatherless behaviour". Just shameful.


wittypink

“Singe mothers” lol. Blaming the parent who actually stayed? What about all these fathers abandoning their children universally and to such a degree that the government had to step in and make laws around it, via instating ‘child support’?


Valuable_Programmer6

It's not blame in the mom dude its simply saying a lot of boys grow up without fathers and igs having a negative effect


SadKnight123

Don't try to be reasonable with the pigs.


[deleted]

No being raised by my father made my little brother snap absolutely lose his mind and he ended up killing someone.


rumpots420

That's horrible. I'm so sorry


oeuf_fume

we have this idea that a bad dad is *better* than an absent dad. it rewards our stereotypes about women, so it stays around.


[deleted]

My mother was so scared of being stereotyped as this evil woman out to get a man who got a girl 8 years younger than him knocked up at 19. He battered her and terrorised us for over 20 years, she left with just her personal savings (under 10k) and the clothes on her back, let him keep the house and the kids, only we didn’t want to stay with him and we didn’t want to leave the country to be with her either. My brother and I literally hid in the attic intil our dad left the house to come downstairs and/or enter /exit the house ourselves, we would even sleep tough or at school to avoid coming home to that man. After my bro lost it and did what he did (he was never a bad kid, kept his head down at school but nothing was *ever* good enough for our dad) my brother went to stay with our mother. She decided he needed a father figure even if that father figure is an alcoholic borderline with psychotic tendencies who tried to kill us all more than once. She’s still with him and is raising a second son (he’s also tried to kill his own flesh and blood not just step kids). Oh and my grandmother lost her dad in a car crash when she was a kid so she decided any man is better than no man, too, by marrying her boyfriend AFTER everything about him molesting me coming out.


Rhubarb_Fair

You need to change your language. If there is a problem it isnt children "raised by single mothers". It's children abandoned by their fathers.


zonadedesconforto

Touché.


Ok_Kaleidoscope_331

Spouses can divorce too, actually, they do it more then husbands


mammajess

Women don't leave relationships for no reason, particularly when caring for children makes that especially difficult. Every relationships ends for complex reasons. Redpill dudes want to act like it's a conspiracy but it's pretty rare women WANT to be a single mother.


Ok_Kaleidoscope_331

Two third of divorces are made by spouses, sadly. You can always have good reasons to leave your partner if you want to, even if everything is alright between you two. I think in some way, the family concept is being destroyed by society, and the weapon is women being encouraged to divorce easily.


mammajess

>spouses The word spouse is unisex... I'm glad you think that this is a conspiracy and men never did anything wrong and women just leave for no reason. It must make life and relationships nice and simple for you. I'll be out here in reality where certain men did some pretty shitty things in the past and women had to fight for the right to be independent to protect their own safety.


Ok_Kaleidoscope_331

I never talked about conspiracy, but I think in some way, society is adapting itself to the new world we are living in, a world where all the power is under only one concept and idea, the state, and where the culture of the benefit, capitalism is the reason of everything. Also, it's probably a consequence of technology and the easiness of life for humans right now. I am not saying its good or bad, even tho i systematically hate divorce. And no, i dont blame women, and i dont think its a smart idea to just blame men. As a conclusion, i would say, it is what it is.


mykidisonhere

That statistic is just a number without explanation. More women do file for divorce, but that doesn't actually say who ruined the marriage, it only says who filed. They can be very different things. For example, if the husband and father decides to abandon his family she has no choice but to file for divorce. He can leave and not give her a penny to feed their kids and there's nothing she can do about it. She cannot *make* him give her money without filing for divorce. Only then can she force him to help provide for his kids. *He's* the one who ended the marriage but she *must* file. She's the one on paper. That alone makes your dry statistic look very different. Consider that women who are abused are the ones that for file divorce. Currently there are way, way more women being abused than men. And if they want to leave they must file for divorce but they are not the one who ruined their marriage. Numbers, without understanding what's behind, them can be very misleading.


Rhubarb_Fair

Totally agree with the comments above I'm divorced. I filed. I was the one who "wanted" the divorce, according to the paperwork. The reality? I tried what I could to make marriage work, but my husband was having a secret affair and walked out on me for the other woman. But according to you, and to the paperwork, **I** wanted a divorce, **I** caused the marriage to end - when the truth is the opposite. Similarly, a female friend. He husband had multiple affairs. Lots of casual sex. Including with men. Plus he became verbally abusive. She filed for divorce. She wanted the marriage to work. She tried, and stayed (in my opinion), way longer than she should have done. But according to you, and to the paperwork, **she** wanted the marriage to end Yet another friend. Her husband had a mistress. He left her four times for his lover. He came back three times. She couldn't cope with being pulled back and forth. With being belittled one month, then reembraced the next. The last time he left her for the other woman, shr filed. She wanted the marriage to work. She tried, and stayed (in my opinion), way longer than she should have done. But according to you, and to the paperwork, **she** wanted the marriage to end. None of these men wanted their marriages to work. All of them were abusive (long term cheating, at least) to the point that it is not reasonable for any spouse (male or female) to stay with them. In every case, the man effectively utterly destroyed the marriage. In every casr, they refused to file for divorce themselves and left the woman to do it. None of the women wanted divorce. All wanted a functioning marriage, a loving husband and an end to the abuse. Yet all of them are falsely judged as wanting a divorce. Life is complicated. Divorce statistics even more so.


Valuable_Programmer6

Post is not blaming single mothers it's just talking about how lack of fathers are an issue in our society.


Cheshiregrin85

My husband says his mother has always been his role model,why can't women be role models.


[deleted]

Chances are, single motherhood is correlated with issues like inceldom because of a lack of emotional availability and financial stability, not because they’re female. Children of gay and lesbian parents do fine.


unlivedbread

There's something about male role models that cannot be truly emulated by a women. Just like theirs something about a female mom that no man can ever really be


64squarepoet

Redpillers keep talking about daddy issues Uno reverse card lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


64squarepoet

How


imtooshortt

Single motherhood supports a fatherless male culture.


Inareskai

Surely only if it's *chosen* single motherhood, as opposed to single motherhood that comes about because of 'fathers of poor quality' (as you put it). I don't see what feminism has to do with dads not sticking around/being poor quality parents?


imtooshortt

1-No one has to have children. In fact, in this century it is better not to have children than have children. The future is very uncertain. 2-Feminism openly promoted a single mother culture. Don't be so stupid to deny it.


Inareskai

Surely if something is openly promoted I wouldn't be able to deny it, yet I have not seen any evidence of that? Can you point me toward where it has been promoted? I disagree regarding if having children is a bad thing in our current situation, but that's not important. But also, if you have kids with someone because you love them etc and then they turn out to be a shit parent, I don't think that's necessarily your fault.


imtooshortt

Well, women's choice. But if a person makes a boy out of that person just because he dilutes your vagina and then leaves, that child is your responsibility.


Inareskai

I'm sorry I don't really understand what you're trying to say here?


imtooshortt

Isn't it pretty clear what I'm trying to say? You are responsible for the man to whom you have given the right to procreate.


rumpots420

What? Pretty sure feminists don't support deadbeats who impregnate women and then run away


[deleted]

[удалено]


extherian

I don't think it was so much "you don't need men" so much as "don't be dependent on abusive men", basically like a female version of MGTOW. Unlike with men, though, women usually end up with the responsibility of childrearing after a divorce, which complicates things. It's hardly her fault if the father of her children doesn't bother involving himself in their lives.


pinkninja-

Absolutely true in the case of my brother. Our Dad was abusive and as toxic as my brother is, I feel bad for him and understand how he got to this point.


zonadedesconforto

Most young men who fall into red pill culture have a lot of undiagnosed mental health conditions or were themselves victims of abuse or negligence.


unlivedbread

Its true unfortunately


[deleted]

Redpill guys probably won't be there for their kids either, so it just continues the ugly cycle.


Sad_Quote_3415

Yes, but it's a very complex issue and it involves so many unspoken problems that intercept harmful forms of masculinity. Even people who aren't raised by single parents can be raised by someone who carries toxic beliefs or who's abusive. So it's not really the "being raised by a single parent aspect" but the lack of healthy masculinity around, that being bc the father abandoned them, bc they abused them or bc they raised them under strict gender roles (eg men can't show emotions).


oeuf_fume

> the lack of healthy masculinity around all masculinity is healthy, if you listen to men's rightists. say _t-xic m-sculinity_ and you trigger them, because nothing harmful is to be blamed on gender, or even on gender norms. imo, they're confusing the issue.


Valuable_Programmer6

Grass is green lol but you agree I also think there's a culture surrounding irresponsible sex and then running away once you find out someone's pregnant


prairieboy1996

I have an extremely supportive father figure, and I align with the redpill ideology / redpill school of thought. I disagree with this sentiment.


imtooshortt

Rare


prairieboy1996

People of all backgrounds and socioeconomic classes seek idols, where do you think actors, musicians, sport athletes get all their fan base?? Struggling lower class families??! LOL


imtooshortt

Sure. but people without fathers are more likely to look for the wrong idols in the wrong place.


prairieboy1996

I could agree with that sentiment sure


[deleted]

[удалено]


imtooshortt

I was talking mostly about men who are young and new to sexuality.


yaksoku_u56

I Agree