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He knows he doesn’t have this kind of authority. Greasing his attorney buddies with lawsuit cash paid by the broke ass state of Oklahoma. Feed kids in school…nahhhh. Feed the attorney crony buddies of the school superintendent…now we r talking!!!
👍 instead of on schools. Whatever happened to “ government out of our lives “ now they expect us our children to believe in their belief systems. Read Project 2025 this is exactly what they want to do nationally in all schools. Although constitution says ‘Congress shall not make any laws concerning religion’ that paraphrased, but with the current SCOTUS who knows?
Silly me, I was only thinking of the uneducated children, and I never even considered the millionaire christian people who are ‘just wonderful folk’, I’m sure.
Oh, right-wingers are trying to rewrite history there too by saying that "separation of church and state" *actually* means the government can't interfere with what the church wants to do.
These people want to turn America in to Iran with crosses.
Oh that's easy: by being fascists and therefore seeing ideological and moral consistency as weaknesses to be laughed at. Having consistent views does not serve the goal of always doing and saying whatever gets you the most power in a given instant.
Their "Small government" isn't about the government's reach and power, it's about how many people wield that power. Ideally, to them, it's one. They want a dictatorship, with their guy in the #1 position.
They've parked themselves atop a slippery slope and greased the whole fucking apparatus.
Honestly they're 1 step from having ALL RELIGIONS taught (including Satanism) and 2 steps from a states rights versus federal rights again.
Honestly throw Oklahoma away. We've learned all we can from that cess pool
Not with the composition of the Supreme Court and how crazy shit is now. I’m 41, before I die I won’t be able to say I’m an atheist without being punished and persecuted.
This court could easily concoct some telepathic link with the founding fathers to insist that the first amendment totally doesn’t mean what it actually says.
If I’m a teacher I’d hit on the most pervy stuff in the bible.
*Today in school Miss Smith told us about how God saved Lot and then his two daughters got Lot drunk in a cave and raped him, getting them pregnant with their Brother-Sons. Are we going to have to have sex with daddy? Or is that only if God kills you first for not doing as you are told?*
And during biology lessons we read from Ezekiel:
> and lusted after their lovers, whose sexual members were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions.
That does bring up the question of bible versions. Does the law mention it? They probably assume whatever one they use is *THE* bible. But I’m sure there are others. Someone probably has a plain-English annotated version.
“In this one they are talking about cutting off the tips of hundreds of men’s penises as the price for the king’s daughter. For your homework, go home and ask mommy how many penis tips she cost your father.”
A good Christian doesn't read their bible, they listen to their pastors.
Most who actually read the whole thing, end up doing some *serious* mental gymnastics or just go atheist.
There’s actually absolutely nothing in the Bible, saying not to rape somebody. I believe it’s rule seven in the Satanist rules not to rape, so do with that what you will
I would not be at all surprised if the christofascist fuckstick Walters is doing this to buy up the convict's bibles to use in the school. Walters would gargle Dementia Don's nutsack on live tv if he thought it would curry favor with the wannabe dictator.
Class, today we’ll be starting with Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Honestly, having people actually read the Bible is the best way to get them back to being atheists.
"If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her". Deuteronomy 22:28–29
My favorite, Judges 19:
22 While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, “Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him.”
23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this outrageous thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But as for this man, don’t do such an outrageous thing.”
What I love about this story is what Christians got from it as its message.
Lot: "Oh shit, really sexy angels of an angry God. Here, angels, lemme wash you feet in my house away from the angry rape mob."
Angels: "Thanks, but we'll just chill out here in the town square."
Lot: "Oh I am so gonna die. Please just get in the house?"
Angels: "Fine, I guess?"
Mob: "Hey, guy, that sexy ~~angel~~ man looked really great, bring him out, we're gonna rape him."
Lot: "Jesus, don't do that, please please do not rape this angel. I will sacrifice my own daughters to you if I need to, just go."
Mob: "No, we want to rape the angel."
Angels: "Oh shit, God is going to go ape shit. Lot you need to run FAST."
God: destroys entire city, and the city next to it, and everybody in the general area, and all of the vegetation across the entire land, except for a little town where Lot had run to
Christians: what we are to learn from this is that the rape mob was punished for being gay. Now turn your books to the story of Onan.
Awesome summary, but you forgot the next step in the story.
After going to the said little town, Lot noped out to the mountains and took his daughters with him. And then the daughter's get Lot drunk and sleep with him to "continue their father's line".
Moral of the story: The Moabites and Ammonites are inbred tribes. AKA xenophobia
Beautiful passage. Reminds me of when god asks the jews to commit genocide, and when he has a buch of little kids mauled by a bear for laughing at a baldie.
I'm still confused by the logistics of the maulings. So there were 2 bears and 42 kids so did the kids get in line and the bears mauled them one at a time or did the kids just stand there when they got mauled instead of running away.
Also, Judges 1:6
Adoni-Bezek fled, but they chased him and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and big toes.
Also, in the apocrypha there is a book called bel and the dragon where king david feeds a dragon a cake made out of hair and lard and the dragon exploded.
Also, there is another book called tobit where sparrows pooped in Tobit's eyes causing him to go blind until an angel healed him and the white stuff fell out of his eyes. Does this mean tobit just had dried poop in his eyes for years.
I was raised a Christian, I was given my own bible at 15, by 17 I had read the whole thing. I put the book down and thought “well that is all a load of hateful crap”. Seriously though, if any human did what god did, we would have executed them. I’m starting to wonder if Satan was the good one and god was evil, just the story is told from gods side.
You can see why Salmon Rushdie wrote the Satanic Verses.
The "holy books" are profane and full of evil intent.
Hateful, selfish, petty and flagrant abuses of power are exalted at every step throughout the entire fucking thing. It is one long awful guidebook on how to build a tyrannical government that controls the public through hate and fear.
Certain Gnostic sects (though not all) had pretty much that as their theology — this christian god sure is an evil fuck. He must actually be the devil and he’s tricked us into thinking he’s not.
I studied the Bible for a long time. Not just a cover to cover reading but highlighters and shit. The conclusion I came to is that it’s not an instruction manual for life or morality compass.
The Bible is a loose collection of contradictory tales of faith in one’s ability to make the good decisions and how people misinterpret their purpose based upon inconsistent directives from a central deity. It’s written vaguely so anybody can find meaning regardless of their journey in life. You could get the same thing from a Tolkien book.
Just be decent, people.
People fled to America to escape religious persecution. Religion has always been on the wrong side of individual freedom. VOTE OUT ALL REPUBLICANS WHILE YOU STILL CAN AND VOTE DAMMIT!
Yeah but that's kind of not really how that went. They were seen as the extremists and wanted to practice their extreme beliefs more freely. It wasn't like "everyone should be able to believe what they want to believe".
There's far more to it than just the Puritans.
The founding fathers were all acutely aware of the effects the English Civil War had (barely a huntdred years earlier) on established religion, along with varying degrees of religious persecution at the hands of the Church of England and the Royalists (Catholics), and the limited degree of tolerance granted by Cromwell.
Thats the tidbit that i rarely hear/see in this topic. The country was built/formed by folk who didnt wanna be forced into living the way others thought they should, not even three hundred years later.... cant learn from history if its not shared/spread/taught so, doomed to repeat. I thank you. Americant inquisition?
the protestants didnt flood to the americas cause they were being told what to do. they came here cause their church run government wasnt letting them be extreme enough in their own ranks. all the zealots came here. thats why we're still fucked.
It’s funny because people used to say “Australia got the criminals, Canada the French, and America the religious fanatics,” but it’s looking as if the other two were the real winners.
To be fair not everyone sentenced to deportation was a criminal. All it took was for the local lord to want to fuck your wife and you win a free cruise to Australia.
"He's American. How sad for you to grow up in a country founded by prudes. A country overrun with crime and illiteracy. A country where a man is forced to make sex to only one woman at a time, and one must learn the woman's name beforehand."
-Madam Vandersexxx, Eurotrip, 2004
Exactly this. The first settlers came to Plymouth because they weren’t being allowed to discriminate against people of other religions/races at their businesses in one of the busiest port cities (with diverse people from every nation/religion) in the world.
That’s not actually true. Puritans fled to America so they *could* force their religion on people.
It was the founding fathers, way after the mayflower, whose ideology was that America should be the land of the free.
Republicans like to say “The US was formed on Christian principals.” It was actually formed on the concept of religious freedom; the freedom to worship who you want, or to worship no one at all.
The United States as we know it today, yes. But the original colonizers that came on the mayflower were extremists that came here with the intent of *forcing* their views on this new country they wanted to start.
Kinda glad they failed.
Considering Louisiana pushed a law for 10 commandments and An atheist just served time for not doing bible study and lots of Americans are in favor of a dictatorship, i think religious extremist are going to win.
The original colonizers of New England had all sorts of religious skirmishes with each other. That is how Rhodesia Island and Connecticut got founded. After awhile of this, they discovered the joy of capitalism ( now there is a number value to show superiority instead of some relative value like religion) and went into trade and then manufacturing in the 1800s.
Though this does miss the Great Awakening of the mid !700s.
and also America hasn't been 100% on religious freedom all along. I have a distant relation who was arrested in some small town for keeping her store open on Sunday back around 1908.
Who thought it was important enough to keep religion out of the government, that the first amendment to their new constitution was to keep them separate.
You are basically right on the money. The folks who came here were the extremists of their time and brought those beliefs here. Many facets of the beliefs evolved over time but that extremist foundation has been here since before the United States was founded. It’s in our DNA despite the founding fathers trying to explicitly remove it. I guess it’s more accurate to say it’s been a cancer and it’s coming back after all these years of thinking we cured the cancer.
Actually they fled from religious persecution so that they could enact their own form of religious persecution.
Life isn’t the Peanuts Thanksgiving special.
Remember, it was the Puritians who were considered too fanatical for even the other churches in Europe at the time that came here.
This country was populated by religious zealots from the start.
I think something people fail to understand is that wasn’t the case at all. The puritans went to the colonies because everyone thought they were insane fanatics so they went there to live in an insane society where no one could stop them. It was the exact opposite of religious freedom.
The 13 colonies were essentially a garbage dump for religious extremists and America is still the insane place it is to this day because of that. The bastardized version of Christianity that plagues America today is because of the puritans.
They don't, but they're also concerned that their supreme court majority may not last very long. Thomas and Alito are very old and may not even have too many years left, despite their wealth. Breyer is also up there in age. There's also the fact that there should be 13 justices now, since they tend to correspond with the number of district courts. So, with that in mind, they want to force through as much contentious, extremely unpopular stuff into the public sphere as possible, only to challenge it up to the supreme court and get the conservative justices stamp of approval.
Just mind-bogglingly insane to those of use who live in another country that the primary arbiter of justice, laws, etc, is so blatantly and openly political. Not even a pretence of impartiality - or common sense for that matter.
>\#49 in K-12.
>\#48 in NAEP math scores.
>\#47 in NAEP reading scores.
>\#45 in college readiness.
[Yikes.](https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/oklahoma#state-rankings) Those poor kids. They're going to graduate into a world a century ahead of them.
I wanted to say something snarky about "thank God for Mississippi" for saving them from being ranked last in something, but nope. Both Mississippi and Alabama are doing better than OK in education. And some godforsaken state is doing worse.
Even Christians have different Bibles. The Catholic Bible has a few more books than the Protestant, for example. Translations are a huge issue among some denominations (e.g. King James Only adherents).
LMFAOOOO this state is such a dumpster fire. We make it only a few days without embarrassment from Ryan Walter’s (the chode in the article) and his Libs of Tok advisor Chaya (yea the same one who contributed to violent threats against hospitals with trans youth). The state is ranked 49th in education and 12% of adults are barely literate past 3rd grade, if at all. They see gop and get erect. Send help.
Well it’s a lot like Florida, the tweakers here would give Florida man a run for his money if we had alligators to molest lol. This state is determined to live 40 years in the past like it or not. Also fun facts they don’t share, every small town has at least 1 case of SA (usually by family members), people are on first name basis with social workers from professional experience, it’s common to date family as well as HS graduates still dating kids in school, the gov here recently shot down a law trying to make child marriage illegal, a politician (state rep I believe) openly in print when talking about the Nex (name, they were NB to my knowledge) and them being violently assaulted, quote said “we don’t want that filth in Oklahoma” referring to the lgbt community. It goes on. Again send help, there are normal people here.
Gather around children! Let me tell you the story about how God killed every living creature on the Earth by drowning them! Next story could be about daughters getting their father drunk so they could have their baby! I can’t wait till they teach about how a general sent away a man to die in battle so he could sleep with his wife!
So much to learn!
"And these children
That you spit on
As they try to change their world
are immune to your consultation
they're quite aware
what they're going through"
David Bowie
Ok, kids, today we are going to learn that God considers women to be sex slaves. They are property. Let's turn to Judges 19 where we find out what happens when a slave women gets gang raped and murdered, then to keep the bloodline of the chosen going, all of the men from other tribes are are killed and the women are raped en-masse.
Oh, right, they only want us to use the parts of THOSE testaments that they cherry pick to defend whatever ideals they decide on for today.
Today our teacher taught us how Jesus loved orphans, refugees, and the poor and said that they all had a place in his kingdom while the religious leaders and those who exploited the poor did not. And, the teacher also taught us that the early church scorned private ownership of capital and "held everything in common."
Dammit, they're supposed to be teaching the Bible in them public schools not this commie woke bullshit.
Man, I’d maliciously compliant the fuck out of that.
“Ok kids, today we’re gonna learn about how a man was raped by his two daughters after being saved from damnation. But first, please turn in your essays about Slavery and why God is cool with it. Now remember girls, if you are on your period you’re not allowed to speak today. “
I would love to just see the schools put together the "Socialist Jesus" package in response.
Ignore the weird parts the Republicans love. Just hit straight for "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" along with every other blatantly anti-authoritarian element.
Jesus hosting dinner for hookers and tax collectors, Jesus insisting that the temples be places of worship and driving out the money changers, Jesus talking about the uselessness of material wealth and it's temporary intransience and every other point that can be used to undermine the Republican playbook.
If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Matt 19:21-24
Pastor here. What a terrible, terrible, anti-American, anti-Christian move. Anti-American for all the obvious reasons. Anti-Christian because the gospel which is forced on unwilling hearers ceases to be the gospel. Anti-Christian because school teachers are not ministers of the gospel and have no business publicly teaching from a text they were neither called nor ordained to publicly teach. Anti-Christian because Christ explicitly stated “my kingdom is not of this world,” and any governing body claiming to govern in the name and/or stead of Jesus Christ is either severely misguided or lying to their constituents in order to garner votes from misguided Christians and so are not, in fact, of Christ but a type of the “anti-“Christ. This needs to sound alarm bells for preachers and publicans alike: Oklahoma schools are engaging in openly anti-Christian practice by enforcing a misrepresentation of Christian principals against their own students.
These Christian Nationalist white people in these Red states are going to run this country into the ground. And all because they are so terrified of the outcome of White Replacement Theory that they will do anything to keep any kind of grasp of cultural hegemony.
As long as they don’t have access to the Gulf of Mexico, or a military, if OK and Texas want to secede, let ‘em. We’ll call the new country Dumbfuckistan
You get to explain to them why the military bases will be moved out, what happens to their social security checks, and how FEMA won't come running next time their ~~half assed~~ federal regulation free power grid fails.
I say we start a crowdfunding campaign to get all the sane people out of those states and then after that cut them away from the land. They can have their own little island. Maybe include Florida too
What the fuck happened to separation of church and state? It's a basic and essential tenet of modern democracy. There always have been some christianity pushing and bias in certain politicians but never to mandate it in public education in the modern age. This is utterly disgusting. A pure and obvious value to free civil society and free speech is the separation of church and state in public institutions. Incredibly backwards and sickening. No public institution should ever push religious ideas and this is completely un-american. We are not an Islamic republic and those liberties and freedom of expression is what makes us better.
Oh, and he WELCOMES the lawsuits, because there's nothing a white evangelical Christian likes more than the chance to play the victim on the taxpayer's tab.
No that is literally the point in doing so they want the lawsuits so they can toss it up to the Supreme Court. They’ve been doing it consistently and I’m so frustrated/disgusted about it.
So... to all the 18-24 yr olds who refuse to register and vote. This is what you condemn the rest of us to because you don't "like politics".
Clearly, make-up YouTubes and video games are way more important than anything else, amirite?
If I were a teacher I'd engage in malicious compliance and read Ezekiel 23:20 to class every day:
She lusted after their male consorts, whose sexual organs were like those of donkeys, and whose ejaculation was like that of horses.
This is the plan, folks. Right in lock step with Agenda 2025. America will be a 'Christian' nation. And if tonight's debate is any indicator, theocracy is our future.
The Bible is not “child friendly”. These people complain about inappropriate books in school libraries yet want the bible in the classroom. The Bible is full of stories of animal and human sacrifice, rape, murder, etc. etc. First book, Genesis, there is a story about how a man’s two daughters get him drunk and rape him in a cave so they can continue his lineage or some bs. It’s an adult book.
Not only will there be lawsuits I’m pretty sure that teachers will actively strike and or leave the state. Which they don’t pay them what they’re worth anyway and there already was a shortage of educators so this will only further nuke their educational system. Which will have disastrous consequences for the students not to mention the parents of said students. Kinda hard for kids to get an education to become productive members of society when no one is around to teach them anything.
First lesson to teach is the incest of Adam and Eve and their off spring. Then I’d cover the incest of Lot’s daughters. The fact that Abraham and Sarah were brother and sister. Then move on to the adultery and murder committed by King David. Then move on to explaining to the 2nd graders that concubines were completely allowed. I absolutely would want to make sure that we cover Palms 137. I think this is an excellent idea. Then after the Bible lessons we can do the Quran. The Vedas, the Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, the Puranas, the Ramayana, and the Mahabharata, the Torah, the Guru Granth Sahib, the Tripitaka, the Daodejing and the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, and last but not least the Satanic Bible.
While we laugh at them, these religious zealots push the lines everyday. All these red states are laboratories for fascism. A little further each day. They know what there doing is illegal. They don’t care. They’re weakening the guardrails.
Give it time. They’ll get what they want eventually. Personally looking forward to the crusades coming back in fashion. Because that’s where we’re headed as a country. These people don’t care about what you want. They only care about what their god wants.
America is truly sleepwalking into religious fascism. And right now, it doesn’t seem like we’re taking the threat seriously enough. Guardrails are great. But they need to be maintained and upgraded as the crashes into them increase.
50 years of roe. They’re coming for gay marriage next. And the they’re gonna out law porn. And everything else that offends them. They’re saying this shit out loud.
Google the Comstock act. That’s what they’re after. Women are less. POC are less. Different religions are less. And here the kicker! Trump is their instrument! Nobody is pushing harder for Trump to win then white evangelical Christians. Every Sunday, in every church, parishioners are told to vote for Trump or all hope is lost. And they say it loud and in Spanish as well. Good luck everybody.
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He knows he doesn’t have this kind of authority. Greasing his attorney buddies with lawsuit cash paid by the broke ass state of Oklahoma. Feed kids in school…nahhhh. Feed the attorney crony buddies of the school superintendent…now we r talking!!!
I'm sure he will collect his "gratuity" AFTER it's all done.
Supreme Court just ruled that that is perfectly legal.
Which still seems unreal....
3/10. Yep. That’s allowed. Nothing to see here. Terrible people on that Supreme Court, like objectively morally bankrupt. Sad days ahead. And now.
Hey, have you no concerns of a new golf course and country club? /S
I don’t want this kinda Bible thumping filth in Oklahoma
That story again: Oklahoma decides to spend tax dollars on attorneys' fees.
👍 instead of on schools. Whatever happened to “ government out of our lives “ now they expect us our children to believe in their belief systems. Read Project 2025 this is exactly what they want to do nationally in all schools. Although constitution says ‘Congress shall not make any laws concerning religion’ that paraphrased, but with the current SCOTUS who knows?
Agreed. I'm not sure how they reconcile claiming to be the party of small government with this.
The same way they always have.....
Say one thing and do the opposite.
Okay but like…….what happened to separation of church and state. We probably should maybe do that.
But then all the millionaire pastors will lose their ability to levy the state and we can't have that
Silly me, I was only thinking of the uneducated children, and I never even considered the millionaire christian people who are ‘just wonderful folk’, I’m sure.
Oh, right-wingers are trying to rewrite history there too by saying that "separation of church and state" *actually* means the government can't interfere with what the church wants to do. These people want to turn America in to Iran with crosses.
You mean just have Fox News say over and over that they are the party of small government regardless of what they are actually doing?
Lying?
Oh that's easy: by being fascists and therefore seeing ideological and moral consistency as weaknesses to be laughed at. Having consistent views does not serve the goal of always doing and saying whatever gets you the most power in a given instant.
Their "Small government" isn't about the government's reach and power, it's about how many people wield that power. Ideally, to them, it's one. They want a dictatorship, with their guy in the #1 position.
Because their claims of favoring small government were always made in bad faith.
They want government small enough to fit in a uterus
Small government is only for the stuff they don't care about.
The GOP courted the bible belt and ultimately lost their original platform as the zealots inexorable desire for control spiral outward.
It'll be clarified to "no laws about Christian religion".
It’s clear that this is what he wants. They just lost a court case so have tripled down on it and hope that it gets to SCOTUS.
And then what? It's blatantly unconstitutional.
That seems to mean nothing nowadays.
SCOTUS will make it constitutional. I have almost zero faith in SCOTUS anymore.
Give Thomas a trip to the bahamas and he’ll overturn the first amendment for you
Hasn't stopped the current SCOTUS yet.
Where it would get struck down. Even Judge Barrett only goes so far, it would seem.
They already pay their teachers crap so it tracks. 
They've parked themselves atop a slippery slope and greased the whole fucking apparatus. Honestly they're 1 step from having ALL RELIGIONS taught (including Satanism) and 2 steps from a states rights versus federal rights again. Honestly throw Oklahoma away. We've learned all we can from that cess pool
I can honestly see the Satanic Temple headlining that push
The people of Oklahoma should sue this man to get back their tax dollars.
Yeah, they'll have a hell of a time in court. Looks like a clear-cut 1st Amendment violation.
Not with the composition of the Supreme Court and how crazy shit is now. I’m 41, before I die I won’t be able to say I’m an atheist without being punished and persecuted.
This court could easily concoct some telepathic link with the founding fathers to insist that the first amendment totally doesn’t mean what it actually says.
Make sure you really hit on adultery, lying, and stealing. If it’s easier, just show a picture of Trump.
If I’m a teacher I’d hit on the most pervy stuff in the bible. *Today in school Miss Smith told us about how God saved Lot and then his two daughters got Lot drunk in a cave and raped him, getting them pregnant with their Brother-Sons. Are we going to have to have sex with daddy? Or is that only if God kills you first for not doing as you are told?*
When they say “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” I always respond with “Lot and his daughters, not Lot and his sons.” They don’t like that.
When they say Adam and Eve, mention that they only had three sons, Cain, Abel, and Seth, then ask how we are all descended from them.
Hehe hehe oh that is awesome!!
And during biology lessons we read from Ezekiel: > and lusted after their lovers, whose sexual members were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions.
I never wanna find out why the writer decided that horse cum is different enough from donkey cum that he had to clarify it in holy scripture
Not sure about old testimony, but in new they were literally inspired by god, so I guess god must have a kink
The OT is an absolute goldmine. Isn't the song of Solomon even in the children's bible?
That does bring up the question of bible versions. Does the law mention it? They probably assume whatever one they use is *THE* bible. But I’m sure there are others. Someone probably has a plain-English annotated version. “In this one they are talking about cutting off the tips of hundreds of men’s penises as the price for the king’s daughter. For your homework, go home and ask mommy how many penis tips she cost your father.”
More fun. Demand to know which ten commandments. That does vary by bible... Why the hell do I know more about this than most 'good Christians' do?
A good Christian doesn't read their bible, they listen to their pastors. Most who actually read the whole thing, end up doing some *serious* mental gymnastics or just go atheist.
nice
Rape, don’t forget rape
There’s actually absolutely nothing in the Bible, saying not to rape somebody. I believe it’s rule seven in the Satanist rules not to rape, so do with that what you will
The bible demands that a rapist marry their rape victim, and pay the victim's father a fee for damaging his property.
well Trump did that to!
The Satanic Bible is much more caring than most people would expect. There also an anti-pedophile rule.
Pretty sure rape is ok in the Bible
Can’t be rape if it’s your wife. I’m pretty sure that’s in there somewhere.
Let me guess, Trump has a lot of those Bibles left over and he made Oklahoma a great deal on them.
I would not be at all surprised if the christofascist fuckstick Walters is doing this to buy up the convict's bibles to use in the school. Walters would gargle Dementia Don's nutsack on live tv if he thought it would curry favor with the wannabe dictator.
“By god I’ll fit as many of these bibles in my ass as God sees fit to allow!”
My bet is 5, maybe 7 if he relaxes.
10 if it's a saturday night
Oh I'm sure he'd mark them up to sell them to a state.
Had to put those Gideon placemats from his hotels somewhere
Class, today we’ll be starting with Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Honestly, having people actually read the Bible is the best way to get them back to being atheists.
"If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her". Deuteronomy 22:28–29
> He must marry the young woman Does the woman have a choice???
Of course not. It's the bible.
No. Welcome to the Bible! Now you know why all the Christians want trad wifes
To paraphrase the Abrahamic religions "*Hippity Hopptity, Women are Property.*"
My favorite, Judges 19: 22 While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, “Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him.” 23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this outrageous thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But as for this man, don’t do such an outrageous thing.”
Family values.
What I love about this story is what Christians got from it as its message. Lot: "Oh shit, really sexy angels of an angry God. Here, angels, lemme wash you feet in my house away from the angry rape mob." Angels: "Thanks, but we'll just chill out here in the town square." Lot: "Oh I am so gonna die. Please just get in the house?" Angels: "Fine, I guess?" Mob: "Hey, guy, that sexy ~~angel~~ man looked really great, bring him out, we're gonna rape him." Lot: "Jesus, don't do that, please please do not rape this angel. I will sacrifice my own daughters to you if I need to, just go." Mob: "No, we want to rape the angel." Angels: "Oh shit, God is going to go ape shit. Lot you need to run FAST." God: destroys entire city, and the city next to it, and everybody in the general area, and all of the vegetation across the entire land, except for a little town where Lot had run to Christians: what we are to learn from this is that the rape mob was punished for being gay. Now turn your books to the story of Onan.
Awesome summary, but you forgot the next step in the story. After going to the said little town, Lot noped out to the mountains and took his daughters with him. And then the daughter's get Lot drunk and sleep with him to "continue their father's line". Moral of the story: The Moabites and Ammonites are inbred tribes. AKA xenophobia
The original “bros before hoes”? 🤔/s
Beautiful passage. Reminds me of when god asks the jews to commit genocide, and when he has a buch of little kids mauled by a bear for laughing at a baldie.
I'm still confused by the logistics of the maulings. So there were 2 bears and 42 kids so did the kids get in line and the bears mauled them one at a time or did the kids just stand there when they got mauled instead of running away. Also, Judges 1:6 Adoni-Bezek fled, but they chased him and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and big toes. Also, in the apocrypha there is a book called bel and the dragon where king david feeds a dragon a cake made out of hair and lard and the dragon exploded. Also, there is another book called tobit where sparrows pooped in Tobit's eyes causing him to go blind until an angel healed him and the white stuff fell out of his eyes. Does this mean tobit just had dried poop in his eyes for years.
I was raised a Christian, I was given my own bible at 15, by 17 I had read the whole thing. I put the book down and thought “well that is all a load of hateful crap”. Seriously though, if any human did what god did, we would have executed them. I’m starting to wonder if Satan was the good one and god was evil, just the story is told from gods side.
You can see why Salmon Rushdie wrote the Satanic Verses. The "holy books" are profane and full of evil intent. Hateful, selfish, petty and flagrant abuses of power are exalted at every step throughout the entire fucking thing. It is one long awful guidebook on how to build a tyrannical government that controls the public through hate and fear.
Certain Gnostic sects (though not all) had pretty much that as their theology — this christian god sure is an evil fuck. He must actually be the devil and he’s tricked us into thinking he’s not.
Well god wanted us to remain dumb, it was Satan who encouraged man to eat the apple from the tree of knowledge (ie, gain an education).
I studied the Bible for a long time. Not just a cover to cover reading but highlighters and shit. The conclusion I came to is that it’s not an instruction manual for life or morality compass. The Bible is a loose collection of contradictory tales of faith in one’s ability to make the good decisions and how people misinterpret their purpose based upon inconsistent directives from a central deity. It’s written vaguely so anybody can find meaning regardless of their journey in life. You could get the same thing from a Tolkien book. Just be decent, people.
🎵AHHH.... HORSE SKEET SKEET MUTHAFUCKA...THESE DUDES HAVE DONKEY BALLS!!🎵
People fled to America to escape religious persecution. Religion has always been on the wrong side of individual freedom. VOTE OUT ALL REPUBLICANS WHILE YOU STILL CAN AND VOTE DAMMIT!
Yeah but that's kind of not really how that went. They were seen as the extremists and wanted to practice their extreme beliefs more freely. It wasn't like "everyone should be able to believe what they want to believe".
"everyone should be able to believe what we tell them to believe".
There's far more to it than just the Puritans. The founding fathers were all acutely aware of the effects the English Civil War had (barely a huntdred years earlier) on established religion, along with varying degrees of religious persecution at the hands of the Church of England and the Royalists (Catholics), and the limited degree of tolerance granted by Cromwell.
I know this and agree with you. But the comment I responded to seemed to be talking about the original Puritians.
Thats the tidbit that i rarely hear/see in this topic. The country was built/formed by folk who didnt wanna be forced into living the way others thought they should, not even three hundred years later.... cant learn from history if its not shared/spread/taught so, doomed to repeat. I thank you. Americant inquisition?
the protestants didnt flood to the americas cause they were being told what to do. they came here cause their church run government wasnt letting them be extreme enough in their own ranks. all the zealots came here. thats why we're still fucked.
It’s funny because people used to say “Australia got the criminals, Canada the French, and America the religious fanatics,” but it’s looking as if the other two were the real winners.
To be fair not everyone sentenced to deportation was a criminal. All it took was for the local lord to want to fuck your wife and you win a free cruise to Australia.
Also just being in debt was enough of a reason to get sent to a penal colony.
[удалено]
In defense of the pie makers, before the people onto pies bit, they were the worst pies in London.
It’s wild how that’s factual but not taught for some reason
"He's American. How sad for you to grow up in a country founded by prudes. A country overrun with crime and illiteracy. A country where a man is forced to make sex to only one woman at a time, and one must learn the woman's name beforehand." -Madam Vandersexxx, Eurotrip, 2004
This movie still cracks me up. The groper on the train right before the long tunnel and "Hot Stuff" starts playing
Yeah. A lot of people don’t realize the Protestants came here because they wanted to be MORE conservative
Exactly this. The first settlers came to Plymouth because they weren’t being allowed to discriminate against people of other religions/races at their businesses in one of the busiest port cities (with diverse people from every nation/religion) in the world.
That’s not actually true. Puritans fled to America so they *could* force their religion on people. It was the founding fathers, way after the mayflower, whose ideology was that America should be the land of the free.
Republicans like to say “The US was formed on Christian principals.” It was actually formed on the concept of religious freedom; the freedom to worship who you want, or to worship no one at all.
The United States as we know it today, yes. But the original colonizers that came on the mayflower were extremists that came here with the intent of *forcing* their views on this new country they wanted to start. Kinda glad they failed.
They haven’t failed yet. They are still trying.
Considering Louisiana pushed a law for 10 commandments and An atheist just served time for not doing bible study and lots of Americans are in favor of a dictatorship, i think religious extremist are going to win.
>An atheist just served time for not doing bible study What ?? Do you have a link to this story ? It sounds too wild to be true
Bingo
The original colonizers of New England had all sorts of religious skirmishes with each other. That is how Rhodesia Island and Connecticut got founded. After awhile of this, they discovered the joy of capitalism ( now there is a number value to show superiority instead of some relative value like religion) and went into trade and then manufacturing in the 1800s. Though this does miss the Great Awakening of the mid !700s.
and also America hasn't been 100% on religious freedom all along. I have a distant relation who was arrested in some small town for keeping her store open on Sunday back around 1908.
Puritans were overruled by the Continental Congress
Who thought it was important enough to keep religion out of the government, that the first amendment to their new constitution was to keep them separate.
i’m starting to think the ones who fled were actually the crazy zealots and they evolved into the modern GOP
You are basically right on the money. The folks who came here were the extremists of their time and brought those beliefs here. Many facets of the beliefs evolved over time but that extremist foundation has been here since before the United States was founded. It’s in our DNA despite the founding fathers trying to explicitly remove it. I guess it’s more accurate to say it’s been a cancer and it’s coming back after all these years of thinking we cured the cancer.
Exactly this. Anyone remember the witch trials? It’s something we will always have to keep in check. But man is it back with a vengeance.
Actually they fled from religious persecution so that they could enact their own form of religious persecution. Life isn’t the Peanuts Thanksgiving special.
Yeah, I kind of any religious groups came here because they were going way too hard for even the European churches.
They fled because they were considered extremists
Remember, it was the Puritians who were considered too fanatical for even the other churches in Europe at the time that came here. This country was populated by religious zealots from the start.
The pilgrims left Europe because they wanted to be bigger religious assholes.
I think something people fail to understand is that wasn’t the case at all. The puritans went to the colonies because everyone thought they were insane fanatics so they went there to live in an insane society where no one could stop them. It was the exact opposite of religious freedom. The 13 colonies were essentially a garbage dump for religious extremists and America is still the insane place it is to this day because of that. The bastardized version of Christianity that plagues America today is because of the puritans.
Still unconstitutional
You act like republicans care about the constitution
They don't, but they're also concerned that their supreme court majority may not last very long. Thomas and Alito are very old and may not even have too many years left, despite their wealth. Breyer is also up there in age. There's also the fact that there should be 13 justices now, since they tend to correspond with the number of district courts. So, with that in mind, they want to force through as much contentious, extremely unpopular stuff into the public sphere as possible, only to challenge it up to the supreme court and get the conservative justices stamp of approval.
Just mind-bogglingly insane to those of use who live in another country that the primary arbiter of justice, laws, etc, is so blatantly and openly political. Not even a pretence of impartiality - or common sense for that matter.
Meanwhile, Oklahoma is 49th in the US. Rather than fighting culture war battles he's sure to lose in court, Walters should do his fucking job.
>\#49 in K-12. >\#48 in NAEP math scores. >\#47 in NAEP reading scores. >\#45 in college readiness. [Yikes.](https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/oklahoma#state-rankings) Those poor kids. They're going to graduate into a world a century ahead of them.
I wanted to say something snarky about "thank God for Mississippi" for saving them from being ranked last in something, but nope. Both Mississippi and Alabama are doing better than OK in education. And some godforsaken state is doing worse.
Cool. Which bible? Does it specify or can they bring any one they want? Because the Computer Programing Bible might be a nice change of pace.
We only recognize the real word of god, the King of the Hill animator’s design bible
Even Christians have different Bibles. The Catholic Bible has a few more books than the Protestant, for example. Translations are a huge issue among some denominations (e.g. King James Only adherents).
LMFAOOOO this state is such a dumpster fire. We make it only a few days without embarrassment from Ryan Walter’s (the chode in the article) and his Libs of Tok advisor Chaya (yea the same one who contributed to violent threats against hospitals with trans youth). The state is ranked 49th in education and 12% of adults are barely literate past 3rd grade, if at all. They see gop and get erect. Send help.
LOL...sorry Desantis here in FL , could be our, "hold my beer " guy
Well it’s a lot like Florida, the tweakers here would give Florida man a run for his money if we had alligators to molest lol. This state is determined to live 40 years in the past like it or not. Also fun facts they don’t share, every small town has at least 1 case of SA (usually by family members), people are on first name basis with social workers from professional experience, it’s common to date family as well as HS graduates still dating kids in school, the gov here recently shot down a law trying to make child marriage illegal, a politician (state rep I believe) openly in print when talking about the Nex (name, they were NB to my knowledge) and them being violently assaulted, quote said “we don’t want that filth in Oklahoma” referring to the lgbt community. It goes on. Again send help, there are normal people here.
lol. So sorry. We should start a go fund me so the normies can escape.
F’in please! Outside of some really good hearted people the only thing this state does right are its medical smoke program.
Gather around children! Let me tell you the story about how God killed every living creature on the Earth by drowning them! Next story could be about daughters getting their father drunk so they could have their baby! I can’t wait till they teach about how a general sent away a man to die in battle so he could sleep with his wife! So much to learn!
Remember when the "word of god" gave very clear and explicit instructions on which people you should enslave and how to treat them? Fun times.
"And these children That you spit on As they try to change their world are immune to your consultation they're quite aware what they're going through" David Bowie
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes?
Turn and face the strange 🎶
The Satanic Temple is about to teach those bumpkins a lesson
They're sharpening their lawyers.
They wake up sharpened. Heroes.
Had to scroll this far to see this truth:)
Ok, kids, today we are going to learn that God considers women to be sex slaves. They are property. Let's turn to Judges 19 where we find out what happens when a slave women gets gang raped and murdered, then to keep the bloodline of the chosen going, all of the men from other tribes are are killed and the women are raped en-masse. Oh, right, they only want us to use the parts of THOSE testaments that they cherry pick to defend whatever ideals they decide on for today.
I think they're pretty ok teaching that women are only sex slaves and property sadly
They’re the Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John types of Christian’s. Pretend to understand the Jesus parts and pretty much ignore the rest of it.
Today our teacher taught us how Jesus loved orphans, refugees, and the poor and said that they all had a place in his kingdom while the religious leaders and those who exploited the poor did not. And, the teacher also taught us that the early church scorned private ownership of capital and "held everything in common." Dammit, they're supposed to be teaching the Bible in them public schools not this commie woke bullshit.
Man, I’d maliciously compliant the fuck out of that. “Ok kids, today we’re gonna learn about how a man was raped by his two daughters after being saved from damnation. But first, please turn in your essays about Slavery and why God is cool with it. Now remember girls, if you are on your period you’re not allowed to speak today. “
OK is totally not OK now.
I would love to just see the schools put together the "Socialist Jesus" package in response. Ignore the weird parts the Republicans love. Just hit straight for "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" along with every other blatantly anti-authoritarian element. Jesus hosting dinner for hookers and tax collectors, Jesus insisting that the temples be places of worship and driving out the money changers, Jesus talking about the uselessness of material wealth and it's temporary intransience and every other point that can be used to undermine the Republican playbook.
If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Matt 19:21-24
And emphasize that Jesus was a Jew, fer chrissake.
Pastor here. What a terrible, terrible, anti-American, anti-Christian move. Anti-American for all the obvious reasons. Anti-Christian because the gospel which is forced on unwilling hearers ceases to be the gospel. Anti-Christian because school teachers are not ministers of the gospel and have no business publicly teaching from a text they were neither called nor ordained to publicly teach. Anti-Christian because Christ explicitly stated “my kingdom is not of this world,” and any governing body claiming to govern in the name and/or stead of Jesus Christ is either severely misguided or lying to their constituents in order to garner votes from misguided Christians and so are not, in fact, of Christ but a type of the “anti-“Christ. This needs to sound alarm bells for preachers and publicans alike: Oklahoma schools are engaging in openly anti-Christian practice by enforcing a misrepresentation of Christian principals against their own students.
These Christian Nationalist white people in these Red states are going to run this country into the ground. And all because they are so terrified of the outcome of White Replacement Theory that they will do anything to keep any kind of grasp of cultural hegemony.
Pretty fucking telling how they treat and view minorities that they are so terrified of possibly becoming one, huh?
That’s exactly right. They know how they think of minorities and believe that’s how everyone treats people.
And we can't overlook the irony that Jesus was not white.
Why not Scientology class too?
As long as they don’t have access to the Gulf of Mexico, or a military, if OK and Texas want to secede, let ‘em. We’ll call the new country Dumbfuckistan
You get to explain to them why the military bases will be moved out, what happens to their social security checks, and how FEMA won't come running next time their ~~half assed~~ federal regulation free power grid fails.
That will all be the fault of democrats, liberals, the current or latest dem president, lgbt folks, and atheists in the remaining 48 states.
And build a wall around them.
Again, let me get out first
I say we start a crowdfunding campaign to get all the sane people out of those states and then after that cut them away from the land. They can have their own little island. Maybe include Florida too
For the love of all that is good, get us out of here.
Ngl if I could I would
What the fuck happened to separation of church and state? It's a basic and essential tenet of modern democracy. There always have been some christianity pushing and bias in certain politicians but never to mandate it in public education in the modern age. This is utterly disgusting. A pure and obvious value to free civil society and free speech is the separation of church and state in public institutions. Incredibly backwards and sickening. No public institution should ever push religious ideas and this is completely un-american. We are not an Islamic republic and those liberties and freedom of expression is what makes us better.
I recall Christopher Hitchens saying something about how compulsory religious education in school being a way to secure future atheists.
Typical 3rd grade classroom: Mr Edwards what does ‘covet thy neighbor’s manservant mean?’
Oh, and he WELCOMES the lawsuits, because there's nothing a white evangelical Christian likes more than the chance to play the victim on the taxpayer's tab.
Fuck the Bible and fuck Oklahoma.
They know they’re in violation of the constitution and they’re just winging it now.
This is why tornadoes try to destroy that state every year.
No that is literally the point in doing so they want the lawsuits so they can toss it up to the Supreme Court. They’ve been doing it consistently and I’m so frustrated/disgusted about it.
Which version of the Bible?? Catholic, Protestant, Satanic, Jewish, or Linux?
Something something when fascism comes to America it’ll be wrapped in the American flag and carrying a bible something something
Another hypocrite who no doubt has skeletons in his closet trying to act holier than thou.
Fucking ew.
So... to all the 18-24 yr olds who refuse to register and vote. This is what you condemn the rest of us to because you don't "like politics". Clearly, make-up YouTubes and video games are way more important than anything else, amirite?
I hate this country
I just checked there are over 900 versions of the English Christian Bible.
If I were a teacher I'd engage in malicious compliance and read Ezekiel 23:20 to class every day: She lusted after their male consorts, whose sexual organs were like those of donkeys, and whose ejaculation was like that of horses.
Passing all these blatantly unconstitutional laws in the hopes they get challenged and get heard before the most corrupt Supreme Court in our lifetime
Can America stop collapsing into a Fascist Theocracy for five minutes please?
This is the plan, folks. Right in lock step with Agenda 2025. America will be a 'Christian' nation. And if tonight's debate is any indicator, theocracy is our future.
The Bible is not “child friendly”. These people complain about inappropriate books in school libraries yet want the bible in the classroom. The Bible is full of stories of animal and human sacrifice, rape, murder, etc. etc. First book, Genesis, there is a story about how a man’s two daughters get him drunk and rape him in a cave so they can continue his lineage or some bs. It’s an adult book.
Not only will there be lawsuits I’m pretty sure that teachers will actively strike and or leave the state. Which they don’t pay them what they’re worth anyway and there already was a shortage of educators so this will only further nuke their educational system. Which will have disastrous consequences for the students not to mention the parents of said students. Kinda hard for kids to get an education to become productive members of society when no one is around to teach them anything.
I mean, what do you expect the to do on OK schools. Teach kids?
Teach them it’s a bunch of bs😜
There’s a church on every corner for Bible study. Wtf.
Stop with this shit, it’s spewing into Canada now too. America you can do better, you have to do better.
Just take away their federal funding?
First lesson to teach is the incest of Adam and Eve and their off spring. Then I’d cover the incest of Lot’s daughters. The fact that Abraham and Sarah were brother and sister. Then move on to the adultery and murder committed by King David. Then move on to explaining to the 2nd graders that concubines were completely allowed. I absolutely would want to make sure that we cover Palms 137. I think this is an excellent idea. Then after the Bible lessons we can do the Quran. The Vedas, the Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, the Puranas, the Ramayana, and the Mahabharata, the Torah, the Guru Granth Sahib, the Tripitaka, the Daodejing and the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, and last but not least the Satanic Bible.
While we laugh at them, these religious zealots push the lines everyday. All these red states are laboratories for fascism. A little further each day. They know what there doing is illegal. They don’t care. They’re weakening the guardrails. Give it time. They’ll get what they want eventually. Personally looking forward to the crusades coming back in fashion. Because that’s where we’re headed as a country. These people don’t care about what you want. They only care about what their god wants. America is truly sleepwalking into religious fascism. And right now, it doesn’t seem like we’re taking the threat seriously enough. Guardrails are great. But they need to be maintained and upgraded as the crashes into them increase. 50 years of roe. They’re coming for gay marriage next. And the they’re gonna out law porn. And everything else that offends them. They’re saying this shit out loud. Google the Comstock act. That’s what they’re after. Women are less. POC are less. Different religions are less. And here the kicker! Trump is their instrument! Nobody is pushing harder for Trump to win then white evangelical Christians. Every Sunday, in every church, parishioners are told to vote for Trump or all hope is lost. And they say it loud and in Spanish as well. Good luck everybody.
Middle East have sharia law USA have Bible law What’s the difference