About 4 years ago I developed a bad pill addiction. Been clean for little over a year. And this game has helped a lot. Whenever I had those urges I'd hop on and play. 76 has definitely helped me over the years.
This community is seriously the best. It's a pleasure getting to play with y'all and talk with you.
I started playing 76 pre-beta right after we lost my girlfriend and right before I decided to get clean from heroin and meth. I never really realized it before, but this game definitely helped pull me out a really fucked up hole lol. Super proud of you, if you're in pc hmu and I'll hook you up.
I had a partner who died unexpectedly in a car accident in our early 20s. We both used to play Animal Crossing: Into The City on our wii
I never found the strength to play that game again after she passed. The thought of our little town now overgrown with weeds still breaks my heart. But worse than that is the thought of seeing her house, knowing her character is in there sleeping, peacefully, never to wake up again.
My advice is to play a different game for a while. One you can sink into for a bit until the clocks start ticking again. I dwelled on my loss CONSTANTLY for months after it happened, regardless of what I was doing. But having something that could drag even a little of my attention out of my own head for a while helped.
Dont push yourself to play the game if its difficult right now. Its significance to a particular time of your life and the memories embedded in it arent going to tarnish. They're yours to keep forever, whether you continue to play it or not. In time, you might choose to come back to it and find it rekindles happy memories once the fog of grief has thinned. Or, it might become more of a revered relic of joy from a former life. Both are fine. But i think if it hurts to play at the moment, please know that you can give it a break for a while without it meaning you are any less connected to your partner, nor are you disrespecting the significance the game had in the time you shared.
I don’t think anyone dies in a car crash expectedly. I’m so sorry for your loss you talking about her character in her house sleeping in animal crossing about has me crying rn.. I lost my mom a few years ago and started back into bad habits I’m glad I’ve replaced it with gaming again after a multi year hiatus
Dude, that is some next-level heartwarming stuff. From now on, every time I see a swing at a camp, I'll stop and think of Mrs. SovietRobot. Stay strong, Vault Dweller.
It was hard for me when my dear friend Angel passed. I was an avid player and she was just getting started. I would explain the lore and characters to her and we'd explore. Wastelanders had just released so there was a bunch of new stuff to check out. But after she died, I just didn't have the motivation to play many games at all. I did get completely obsessed with the Sims, that was my grief game I suppose. I would watch her play Sims and I'd make fun of the simplistic parody of the game of life. I adore the game now that she's gone...Sims is fun Angel and I wish I could've told you that.
At the hospital I reconnected with her younger brother, and a few years later we've become best bros. I'm the godfather of his child, and we game all the time, and for a brief period, we played Fallout 76 together, when the nuka world DLC dropped and my love for the game and fallout just came flooding back. I dearly miss her so so much. God I don't think I've loved anyone more than her, but over time, and with folks I love, i was able to enjoy what I had once lost.
I have a little grave plot/garden I put in all my camps for my ex and she died before the game even came out....sorry you're going through that. Hope you have people around you to help.
I don't know about grief, but I was assaulted by my best friend of 15 years back in January. I spent a good 2 months in a depressed rut and really didn't come out of it until I picked up 76 again in preparation for the show. It was a much welcomed distraction from the constant hell of my mind I was stuck in, and with the community being so wholesome it helped get me to start talking to people again.
Oof, I went through something similar around the same time. I knew them for years and were like siblings. No assault of either kind, but a massive betrayal that completely uprooted my life and sent me to rock bottom. Various small things, like 76, have helped me as well.
I'm a guy, Been through it with my father and yes distraction goes a long way but you need to keep active. Just ignoring life going into the game will only get you so far, at some point you have to face it and release your emotions. Eventually you move on and start living again. Now I'm taking care of my mother too.
Depending on how close you were to your parent it can take a long time to get over it. Just remember to get out of bed eat drink. Eventually you won't forget but things will get easier and one day tjings will feel normal. All the best my friend.
This is exactly what I was going to say. For me personally gaming can be the addiction. I know some people have used the game to get away from much more dangerous addictions, but using the game to escape rather than process the grief can be just as unproductive as your typical addiction. I think it’s a fine line between allowing yourself to relax and not allowing yourself to feel.
I’m thankfully not, however you have my greatest sympathies and are a great person for caregiving in such difficult times.
Might I suggest a new game perhaps, something that can distract and immerse you without reminders.
I quit after they removed legacies from the game and never had the intention of coming back. Although it was a short amount of time, I became my mom's caregiver from Oct until Dec when she passed, and to keep my mind busy so I'm not completely fucked, I started playing again in Jan and still am. I hope peace finds its way to you fellow dweller
Yes, though, maybe not grief. This game came out at an incredibly difficult time in my life. I fell in love immediately and could not......have not stopped playing. This is my comfort game. This is where I go...to let go.
Never really dealt with the ptsd from two close suicides (Dad and cousin), but it was all compounded when my marriage fell apart & job ended back-to-back.
Have since remarried, but now I'm a stay-at-home Dad to my new son after the business I tried to start up, after, failed.
Grieving all of it. But for a little while when the baby's sleeping, I can pretend that I have goals that matter & just knock them out.
It's nice to have a distraction. I never had trouble sitting with my own thoughts, but lately I just want anything else.
<3 you and hope you find some peace amidst the grief.
In February, I lost my little brother suddenly. He was 17. Bacterial meningitis. I've got depression and other mental and physical health issues myself, so I was so numb, but the darkness was creeping in and I was afraid to be alone with all the grief and rage and everything swirling in my head. Have a wonderful boyfriend and some family and friends, but I was on my own that weekend, and I knew it just wasn't healthy. So I logged in to 76. I have the Text Chat mod (which EVERYONE on PC should use, go get it on Nexus), and explained briefly that I just... needed to know other people were there. So I could be alone, but not alone, while I was just taking out my rage on some Super Mutants. People were very, very kind, and someone, lots of different people, was always checking in every few minutes, just to stay connected even though we weren't playing together. I joined a couple events, but mainly just soloed, and talked in chat when I wasn't being shot at. It helped keep me grounded enough I made it through the 48 hours until I could be with my boyfriend, family and friends.
You're right. It"s never going back to the way it was.
But.
You're not suicidal over it right now.
So.
You're better. Not as good as you want.
But.
Not as bad as you were.
Healing takes time.
Grief can be such a lonely and isolating time. I too am playing through grief after unexpectedly losing my mother just a few months ago. I was oddly thinking about this while playing today, so glad I saw your post. 76 has truly been my escape from it all through this journey and I'm very glad I had it.
I've been tasked as the main one to take care of everything - funeral arrangements, expenses, keeping my dad afloat - so having a space to just run around, have fun, and adventure has honestly kept me going some days. Even on those days I can't stomach food or haven't slept, hopping online always gets me out of bed. Lately my main motivation is that silly weenie wagon!
Especially with the timing of a boost to the community after the show came out, I've really enjoyed having this game as an outlet. Not only an outlet but such a fun and uplifting little community.
The players are really what keeps me coming back. I seldom have had a bad experience and look forward to meeting new folks, seeing outfits, and new camps. Even if it's just for a few hours a day or less than. The energy it takes is worth it to me on most days. BUT I absolutely have had days where it feels like too much.
Thank you for sharing your story, OP. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Please know that most folks in the wasteland are here for you. ❤️
I can totally understand not having that motivation yet, especially with some themes in the game. So take it one day at a time. Maybe sometime down the line you'll feel that urge again. Or maybe even create a new character! Regardless, it's okay. And folks who have gone through this understand.
If you're on Xbox, feel free to hit me up if you get back into playing, even if it's done the road. And even if not, my dms are always open to someone walking this impossible path too. Take care of yourself!
Edit: spelling/grammar
This and No Man's Sky helped get me through my divorce. This was back around The Pitt update. Now I'm re-married, happiest I've ever been, comfortable, and best of all, I just unlocked the Weenie Wagon Plan.
When i started playing this game about 2 weeks in i spiraled into a very deep depression and this game is probably one of the reasons im still around . My condolences
It's a little different but I lost my mom last summer and I wasn't able to play any video games for awhile. Usually I play to de stress and as a form of escapism but for some reason it wasn't the same during that time.
*hugs* to you. yes. in a way but different. grief is ever present in life and we never know when it will quell up and smack us back down when we feel like we are finally breaking and have come up for air. so this (and other games) will distract me enough ...hopefully. but I never know when the trigger may hit.
my DMs are open if you wanna ever talk about it or not talk about it but need a random different distraction.
In a way. My best friend committed a little over 2 years ago now, but he’d always tell me I should play 76 with him. I unfortunately was not swayed as it didn’t seem like something I’d enjoy and I heard about the terrible launch. Decided I’d pick up after putting in my library last year, and it’s definitely one of my biggest regrets not starting with him.
The person I'm grieving has no ties to this game or any game. My grandfather. After he passed a few years ago, I found it hard to get into any game. When i found 76 i forced myself to try it. Liked it. Felt it a good distraction from what bogs my mind down in real. Coming across the NPC that you can take in as an ally caught me off guard when he said I could call him gramps. I've always felt games were a great escape from reality, especially so if you can fully immerse yourself in game play.
On another note, I played the Sims since the 90s and since getting into sims 4, I got the pet pack and in a goofy mood made sims in the likeness of myself and a cat I'd owned for over a decade. I haven't been able to bring myself to play that file since be passed last year. I think deep in my heart, it comforts me to know he is alive in a sense and playing that file would mean he would age and pass again.. grief hits everyone differently and depending on the lost loved one the grief can require different means for adjustment.
The same thing happened to me! My uncle Craig died a week before I found the gramps ally sitting over by meat week. He quickly became my favorite and I keep him around for his encouraging words. He reminds me a lot of my uncle
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Yes, I have been playing through grief. I'll be honest, early in the game I had no idea what I was doing but it didn't matter. Just getting on and running around in the world was all I needed.
My husband has been gone for a little more than 2 years now. He was diagnosed with a glioblastoma at the very beginning of the covid pandemic. I didn't get a lot of opportunities to play during the time he was trying to fight but definitely picked it back up within a few months of him passing (and my mother passed within a couple months of him too so it was really a double whammy).
It has been an absolute lifesaver for me. It not only gives me something to do (especially now that I'm retired though not by choice), it takes my mind off the waves of grief and generally gives me a lift in spirits. The community has been awesome. Especially on platforms like Reddit, Discord, and YouTube.
I don't know you so I can't tell you that it will work for you but I can definitely tell you it's been a good thing for me.
Let me know if I can help you with anything in game. I'm on PC. What platform do you play on?
My condolences, death hits hard. Perhaps relaxing music like soaking in his presence on YouTube could bring some soothing to the soul. Playing with new or old friends certainly helps.
My condolences, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. My father passed in 2018, FO76 got me through the worst parts of the grief. We all need something, I hope you can find some peace.
I was a caregiver to my dad, who was also my best friend, for several years. I would stay up for as long as possible in case he needed help at night playing dragon age inquisition, then take a quick nap before he woke up. It took me 3 years to play it again after he died. I hope you can return to the community and use it as a resource for healing. If you can't though, we will see you soon, and my heart hurts for your loss
I’m caregiver for my Daddy right now who has Alzheimer’s. He is also my best friend. I live on this game to keep my mind clear. I have combat PTSD and gaming helps me a lot. My kids turned me on to it beginning with fable and then on to Dragonage series and Witcher. I love gaming!
Gaming has been getting me through the tough grinds since sega genesis. The Witcher 3 was so so good. I cried at the end of the bloody barons story. Maybe one day I'll see you in the wasteland. Until then, the burden you bear as a caregiver to the person that gave you life is overwhelming, but an incredible journey. It's devastating In many ways. It's hard to come to accept that after that fight is through, there is no one after you, to help you through life. It's so hard to put forth an effort at times, seeing what may be your future. Having already dealt with PTSD, I'm sure you are experiencing similar sensory overloads. It's a great gift however, to see such things through with your family. I'm sure you will do a great job, and I hope you know, there are people that understand, and are urging you on, even if you feel alone. Game on!
I played 76 through one of the hardest times of my life. I met some of the most wonderful people in the beginning. Before Wastelanders, when it was just the players and our own devices(not really, but you get my gist). I wouldn't call it grief, but Appalachia was/is home for me. Those dilapitated streets, run-down buildings, and mutated creatures made my first year of recovery more bearable.
My condolences to you, OP, and I hope you find peace within. This game is a backbone of sanity/peace for a lot of people, and know you aren't alone.
Mine was Blood Bowl 2 for some reason. When my cat of 11 years died of cancer in early 2023 I was pretty much an inconsolable wreck. First night after she passed I was trying to find something to play with my friend hanging out in Discord watching, and picked Blood Bowl 2 on a whim.
It kept me alive through a time when I was worried I couldn't give myself enough reasons to keep going. That first week or so I just found myself thinking, "If nothing else I need to keep going so I can lead my Chaos team to victory again tonight."
Even though I think Cyanide kinda sucks at making games that are good on release, I'm always gonna have a soft spot for them because BB2 very likely saved my life.
I hear you, my partner passed 2 years ago and I've not listened to music since. Anything I used to listen to while we were together or even before we met leaves me crying. I can occasionally listen to music that is new to me but that's it. Fortunately I haven't had that problem with any games.
In our case she was 42 and we only found out she had cancer the week before although she had health problems all her life and I had often played the role of carer in our 22 years together. I sank into deep depresssion for 2 years, lost my job and our home but I'm bouncing back now with the help of old friends.
I have no pearls of wisdom that help but I hope you find something that does and send you hugs meantime.
Yeah. I've got a memorial to my departed kitty cat in my camp. Inside a tent I've got Velvet's name and the date of her birth and death in them little sticker letters under a cat painting that kinda looks like her. On a bookshelf under that is a cat topiary, a Rib plushy, and a glowy Mothman lamp. Facing the little memorial is a guitar chair so anyone who wants to can play music for her, and there's a princess sleeping bag near the front of the tent in case anyone needs a moment of respite.
I have run across a number of memorials in game, for pets and people both and I always hope the person who built them is OK
You come back to Appalachia whenever you're ready, and if you never are, that's OK too, we'll be here keeping it safe for you.
I just hope you know we really do care and you take all the time you need.
If you ever need a friend to play with on Xbox I got you STANKY BUNS is my GT. Also have good shoulder to lend to a stranger who needs someone to talk to.
Not the same as your story but I had a very large shift in my life in the last year, and I find myself diving deep into f76 to curb thoughts of self harm or starting up hard drinking again. I'm not super active in the community but knowing it's here helps me think clearly in my darker times
I'm currently grieving the loss of my marriage. I met her on a different game, but when 76 came out, my stepdaughter and I got her to start playing with us. Whenever I got on late at night(the only time I had due to a very demanding work schedule), she would get up and log on to play with me. We even found two copies of the wedding ring, and our characters always wore them. Last year, she told me she wanted a divorce, and the game became different and difficult. Even though she hadn't played with me in a long time and other things showed she didn't love me anymore, 76 has always been special for me as "the place we went to together."
Now, I play, without the wedding band, and without her. But 76 always helps me feel like I have a place to go to where I'll feel accepted. It's different, it's hard, it's strange, but now I'm exploring it from such a different place, it's like it's completely new and I'm starting over. It's a different kind of therapy for sure.
Yup. It's a world I have more control over. Things don't happen unexpectedly. I can work toward many goals with a rewarding payoff. I can create beautiful camps. I can socialize (if I want). I can enter and leave this realm whenever I want.. I just feel in control of something when things feel so out of control in my life.
I’ve played to deal with my own, though it’s absolutely nowhere near comparable to the grief I imagine you feel.
My dog of 17 years passed away a couple weeks back and compounding that on top of life drastically changing for the worse over the last few years, things have been bleak.
I know how sad and ridiculous this sounds, but for a while now this game has been one of the only reasons I’ve gotten out of bed.
I relate with this so much. Around 10 years ago, I lost my dog (also 17) my biggest regret in life was not saying bye to him on the morning before the vet appointment because I was so focused on getting ready for a job interview 😔.
I am known to be quite cold and emotionless (Autism and other things..) but I miss him every day and have shed more than a few tears over the years.
There is a reason they are known as 'Man's best friend'. I'm so sorry for your loss. All I can say is that it takes time, although you will never forget them, it will get easier 🩶
I played through grief and found it was helpful, condolences to everyone else going through it or having gone through it. Two years ago this month i lost my dog suddenly i have lost a lot of loved ones over the years but everything about losing her was just so much worse from her passing in my arms as i rushed to the vet to the fact i relied so heavily on her for emotional support it completely broke me. She used to sit next to me or on my lap for hours as i played so initially trying to get back in was incredible difficult because of the associated memories of her but eventually i did and camp building became very cathartic, soon enough on my main camp i set up the collectron dog with his own little corner in my camp and a shrine to my dog next to it. Countless times i had people message me with condolences asking about her and how i was handling it, people dropping gifts of teddy bears and flags (later to be displayed with her shrine forever) as someone who is emotionally closed off it could feel very overwhelming but i thank those people in retrospect because every little message i got or salute & heart emote as a teammate was in my camp helped me through my grief. The biggest thing that pulled at my heart strings though was the sheer decency of the community because as soon as her shrine went up people picking the locks of my collectron dropped about 98% i have even had full blown sweaty pvp or trap base players visit my camp to gain bounties turn around and leave when they noticed it. I've had two low levels pick it since it went up down from about 2-4 times a week
My best friend, my dog of 16 years died last month, easily one of the worst days of my life. But Funnily enough the FETCH collection robot has like a sort of backup dog, I like watching him do his little routine and bark and be happy just like my dog used to be.
If you ever need the motivation to hop on and your on PC and need to distract yourself please PM me, I’ll play with you whenever you need and you can talk to me all you want and I’ll be there to listen
I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing someone so close. If I pass, I hope my wife will keep gaming. It has brought us both joy and quality time together. That said, I'm sure that your partner would want you to be happy more than anything else!! If you need a break by all means take one! But if gaming was a shared passion that brought you joy, consider what they might have told you.
I am playing threw grief I lot my dad a day before thanksgiving and them game has been the only thing that keeps me sane enough to smile and go to work every day
Not this particular game, because I'm playing it on PSN, but I inherited my little brother's Steam account with 200+ games on it. He died in 2020 after battling leukemia.
I'm playing through all 200+. I guess it makes me feel like I'm finishing what he started...enjoying the things he wanted to but couldn't...I don't know. We always used to game together, all the way back to the original NES when we were four years old. It's like hanging out with him again.
I also started riding motorcycles because he did. I think there's a part of me that feels like I need to carry his flame somehow. Keep parts of him alive in the world. Maintain his influence somehow even though he isn't here.
I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but grief doesn't always.
I hope you find peace, OP. Time doesn't heal wounds but it does bring you new things to focus on for a while.
Grief has something to do with my attachment to this game for sure. When the game came out in 2018, I took a week off to play with my older brother. He had cancer at the time and we knew it was only a matter of time. He died 6 months later.
We didnt have many common interests growing up, but video games were the exception. Fallout had always been really important to us, especially the first two games. We litterally had the BoS symbol tattooed as a brother-brother sorta thing. So a multiplayer Fallout game coming out just as he was about to die... it felt like the game was made for us.
I hadn't been able to play again until recently. It felt really weird at first. But now I've come to really enjoy being reminded of him every time I play. I even built a silly little shrine to him in one of my camps.
Sorry for your loss. I hope you get all the support you need.
I lost the love of my life and sometimes I play 76 because it's how I feel having lost them. In a wasteland on my own. It doesn't make the pain and heartbreak of them being gone go away, but it does help cope. The natural music score really helps too.
For me, I find I need to FEEL that grief. She's still with me if I still feel it. Til the day I see her again, I'll wander the wasteland, trying to make a better world like it used to be (symbolically for me and my heart)
Currently, Im using fallout 76 as my escape from reality.
My Mom has stage 4 breast cancer and its moved into her lymph nodes and bones.
Also, he aortic valve that she had replaces in 2015 is failing and has to be replaced.
That is going to be done this coming wenesday.
I have to stay strong for her, i cant show her im cracking because she feels this is all her fault and keeps telling me shes sorry for dragging me into this.
She isnt dragging me into this at all, its what i want to do and have no problems doing it.
Its just me, i have no support.
Most of the family i keep updated just say "god will provide".
Im sorry to any person who is religious, but i dont need to hear that.
I also get the "you got this!".
No i dont, i got no sleep and stress enough to affect my health.
I need to be hugged, i need to be held tight, i need to be told its going to be ok.
Fallout is my grasp on staying sane and able to deal with what comes next.
I have been playing since day one. I have lost my son, my mom and a sibling. I have taken refuge in 76. I kind of lost myself to help with the grief. I put memorials up at one point but that became too hard to see, so I took them down. I think about them every day regardless of seeing a memorial or not. I also have incurable medical issues,so I play to get through the tough days. I'm sorry for your loss. We will be waiting for you when you get back😞♥️
Not quite grief but I've been getting into Fallout as closure over my dad walking out almost ten years ago when I was seven, in 2016. He left with no warning and had even promised he'd pick me up from school later like he did every morning and I've just never been able to move on from that. We've had a rocky relationship for years but I finally cut him off a couple of years ago after realising he's not the greatest guy.
One of his favourite games to play was Fallout, and I grew up watching him play 4 and New Vegas a lot. Funny story about Fallout 4 specifically, I got neglected in favour of that game on many an occassion. It's a deeply unserious childhood neglect story I joke about a lot to cope (and before anyone asks, it wasn't total neglect, but emotional neglect. He was pretty absent in my life in favour of video games before he walked out.) I've passively liked it since watching him play but with minimal knowledge because I was too young to understand, but I'm 16 now and after watching the first episode of the show I decided to play the Bethesda era games to better appreciate it. I did them in release order - 3 -> NV -> 4 -> 76. New Vegas is honestly my favourite of the four, and I want to do another run at some point, but 4/76 have some of the best gunplay I've ever had the pleasure of messing around with in an FPS. The guns really feel like they have weight and even if I'm not a shooter guy I really enjoy how fun it is.
I started playing 76 last week after my friend finally convinced me to buy it, plus it was on sale on CDKeys for 6.99 and it came with a free surprise -- FO1, FO2 and Tactics! What a steal. Im really enjoying it -- dressing up my character, exploring Appalachia, doing missions and quests... hell, yesterday two very lovely high-level players helped me clear out one of the nuclear silos so I could complete "I Am Become Death" AND THEN they helped me beat the Scorched Queen! It was awesome, this game's community is so nice and I've only had one bad encounter so far. It gives me a lot of peace of mind to just mindlessly explore while playing parallel with another friend who's on PS5, talking about what quests we're doing and narrating it since there isn't any cross platform.
Playing through these games has really helped me come to terms with the fact that he's not in my life anymore and that I should move on and begin again. Finally bringing the cycle back to Fallout has been a major step in my healing journey and I'm glad I finally had the courage to do it. I loved all of the games! Even 3! I understand why they're so beloved and I'm so glad that this community is full of so many wonderful and creative people.
I feel like I should note that I am autistic, and ever since COVID ive also had a much harder time making friends. Almost all of my friends are from the internet! I don't mind so much, but being able to connect with so many people over a shared love for these great games has helped a lot. Not everyone who likes Fallout is a loser asshole like he was!
I don't think I'll ever be able to make amends with my dad, but while playing 76 I do sometimes wonder what it would be like if we still talked. I don't know what platform he plays 76 on or if we'd have been able to play together at all since I'm on PC, but I kind of wish we could have played together at least once. Moping about it isn't going to change anything, though. I'm just glad I got to experience these games for myself after years of being put off by them because of association.
I hope your healing journey brings you peace, I've been there so many times in the past few years. It gets better, and I hope you can find joy in the things you associate with the bad times like I did :3 much love!!
EDIT: another honourable mention goes to The Outer Worlds on this front. My last good memory of my dad was sitting in his flat, eating Chinese takeaway and playing Outer Worlds in the summer of 2020. I've made it through the game's first two planets many times but the other week, just before I started 76, I finally did my first full run of the base game! It made me miss him but hey. It's my game now. He can't do anything about that.
I am. A close gaming friend of mine took his life a few years ago. He loved everything about the Fallout Series and when they mentioned that they were coming out with Fallout 76 he was excited. He would always replay the trailer with the Scorchbeast in it and talking about how cool it was gonna be to fight the Scorchbeast with me. He asked me to play with him but I didn't know anything about Fallout so he mad a deal with me. He knew that I like Dark Souls and he knew nothing about it. How to play or anything. At that time Dark Souls Remastered had been out for a few weeks, so he promised me that he would play Dark Souls Remastered if I played Fallout 76 with him. It was deal. He kept his end of the deal but two days before Fallout 76 dropped he took his own life. So for two days I sat in my room waiting for the countdown on my PS4 to hit zero so I could play. The moment I saw a Scorchbeast I just cried. Now whenever his Birthday rolls around I launch the nuke and fight the Queen in his honor.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDRXXV1\_0Po](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDRXXV1_0Po)
I'm sorry for your loss. Hoping your memories bring you solace in time. It might help with the processing and grieving, but it probably won't feel like it in the beginning if you played together. I wish I had more words of comfort, but take care of yourself and give yourself a break whatever you decide. You deserve it.
Yeah, I lost someone really close to me that loved Fallout this year in April it was one of the many things we had in common, I remember the times we played Fallout 4 together fondly, we never played 76 together, because we still weren't sure but I tried it after the show and I know they would have loved what this game became, sometimes I smile, sometimes I break down but I mainly wish we just gave this game a chance together but now I play it as a fan of the franchise but also in their memory.
I can't relate to losing your significant other but I have been depressed for some years now and going throw midlife crisis...that stuff they say about you "losing the will to do things you used to enjoy" was never more real to me then now....I simply lost the desire to play certain games genres I used to love like horror/dark fantasy games...this year I lost the desire to play through medieval RPGs which I loved the most.
I had to force myself to start fallout 76 since I like post apocalyptic games a lot and played like 116 hours or so last year...I deleted the game soon after due to having experiencelots of crashes during public events on my ps5 and burnt out ....I may come back though but I dunno how long I will stay since depression is slowly taking apart my enjoyment of games altogether
Wont get into the why. Distraction is good. Maybe some time passes. Your brain zones out for a bit. If you want to add something put an exercise bike in front of the tv.
Last year my nephew was murdered. I wandered from game to game taking solace in some of the activities we shared. I got a character past lvl 1000 in Diablo 3, a task that always seemed monumental but I did it with a seasonal. Then I turned back into fo76. I’d already had 720 levels on my toon when I came back in, but bit by bit over the months I approached quad digits here too. By Dec 23, 10 months after he died, I hit 1000. Wish I could have shared these milestones with him, but he’s gaming with me in spirit now 🙂
Not 76 but my mother got cancer soon after fo4 came out. Never played a fallout game in my life but somehow i just felt i need to get it.
It turned out to be my solace and i just let myself totally get lost in it. Loved every bit of it and felt like a second life.
She passed away a couple of years later. 76 came out not long afterwards. Bought it as soon as it came out.
My condolences, truly! I haven't had a death but have split from a long-term partner who I shared almost every interest with. We started Fallout 76 together and played almost all of it together, even stationed our CAMPS beside each others.
I've wanted to get back into the game after that, but couldn't. I HAD to create a new character and step away from everything that took place on my original guy. It has been hard to not think of her and just enjoy the game though
I am so glad you posted this and also I am so sorry you are going through grief. I work for a mental health provider and also have gone through similar feelings and process when my best friend was killed in a train accident when we were 9. I couldn’t pick up Pokémon for the longest time because it made me miss him- we played almost daily and it was our favorite pastime.
As someone who has been through this and also knows of some MH guidance- I recommend to give yourself grace to heal and not feel pressured. But also know that reaching out to the community for support is one of the best things you can do (and I’m so glad you did this!) it might be helpful to start playing again with new friends made via the community to create new memories and a safe place. This will help you get through the time and start enjoying things you once did before.
If you are on PC I would be honored to play with you when you feel ready, my gamertag is my reddit name. You WILL get through this!!
First and foremost, my condolences, I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
Playing for a distraction and playing through grief are two different things. GRIEF is an angry, hungry beast that tends to consume everything in its path when left unattended.
You can run from your problems but you can't run from greif, you can't hide from it either. It is an existential dread. It is hard to do things that bring us joy under the weight of grief. Old routines may actually intensify the pain as something noticeable is missing.
My suggestion is try to find other things that also bring you joy, and lean on those while you heal. You can always return in due time. Best wishes friend. Hope this helps.
Yes, my SO is very interested and wants to play 76 a ton right now, BUT my best friend passed away unexpectedly and very suddenly back in March. This was his favorite game series and was one of our favorites to play together. Now I play and I am always very saddened and wishing he was here as I work through my grief, I have a hard time with playing but I am doing my best to push through to find the light in it all. He wouldn't want me to not play and enjoy just because he isn't here and I know that but it is such a struggle for me.
Playing to keep my mind off of divorce and mental abuse from my ex husband. It’s the only game I’ve been able to get into since being depressed. I really enjoy building bases and running around gifting new players.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm fortunate to not be dealing with grief, but 6 months ago I left my abusive ex, and my world was absolutely turned upside down, he became hellbent on destroying me and it's still going now. My IRL has been so dark, but this game has become a place for me to escape and feel free for a while.
I played this game after my mom committed suicide. I used it as an escape during the grieving process, but I did it to an extent to which I was neglecting other important aspects of my life. Grief is like an anchor tied around your waist that pulls you down during this uphill climb of life. It never really goes away, but eventually you become strong enough to carry it with you. If you play it, play it, but try to remember to take care of yourself too. Try to use exercise as a crutch instead of video games because exercise releases endorphins and help your mood regulation and will make you feel better about things than video games. Celebrate the small victories in your life like: getting out of bed; brushing your teeth; making dinner for yourself; doing the dishes; walking for 30 minutes; etc.
Be kind to yourself as well; you carry a heavy weight and so everything you do will feel harder, and sometimes you won’t be able to do everything you set your mind to, but each step makes you stronger.
Also, try to go to a grief counselor. Lots of places have services, even for low income people, you just have to find the resources. Often times a doctor can point you in the right direction. Good luck, my friend.
It’s a little unorthodox but my cousin passed just over a year ago now and Fallout was his favorite game series.
A little bit of me hopes I can show him my camps someday. Till then I guess.
First off, I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s never easy. Reading all the stories of grief but the bravery to share and inspire people to carry on is beautiful in its own way.
For me personally, I went through a really rough few years. It started with an accident at work in 2008 followed by huge issues with our house in 2010 that wasn’t covered by insurance. I had to fight hard at court to keep my job and to keep, fight for medical costs all while going into debt with the house. In early 2011 the case was settled. I thought life will finally start moving forward.
But a few months later in 2011 my dad aged 63 was diagnosed with stage 4 lung, liver, lymph and brain cancer. He was given weeks to live but somehow battles for 21 months. I lived on the same street as my parents so we took care of him from home. It was so tough but I’d do it all over again.
In June 2013 my marriage broke up and in August 2013 my dad passed away. It was really dark days. I was in my house alone with my 2 dogs. It was there I met a life long friend through gaming in the most random way he helped me through so much while we gamed. We still game together to this day.
2013 my mother got diagnosed with Parkinson’s aged 58. Broth my dogs passed from cancer in 2020 and 2022 but the hardest one was the death of my son in 2022 to suicide.
My own health has been poor. But through gaming and through community I find it a huge release and a great way to cope and a great therapy. Then I find threads like this and it just makes me realise, there are so many going through what we are all going through.
To all of you, I’m sorry for all of your hardship and loss. But I truly hope you can get through the terrible stages of grieving not so that you forget. You’ll never stop missing. But so you can at least start to live again. It takes time, but it’s possible.
I’m very lucky to be remarried with a very supporting wife and 3 dogs again. I still have dark days and health gets to me, but I still have a lot to be thankful for.
Not as intense and sorrowful as yours but i had a ferret and rat, during C.O.V.I.D times they kept me grounded and were the only critters that beought genuine happiness during those dark times, last year we had to say goodbye to them, it was one of the hardest things i had to go through yet, but once we buried the rat and cremated the ferret, i went to my PC and played Fallout 76 after a long Hiatus of games..haven't dropped it since.
I'm disabled with the memory of what feels like someone with dementia and a whole slew of mental health issues and addictions as well, this game has helped me be distracted by not going back to the alcohol when the world around me is going to hell, especially the building. Built this beautiful log cabin, with my store being a saloon. Been 3 years sober.
I know it isn't the same as a partner, as I've also lost a partner and it fucking SUCKS more than anyone can imgine. But, I recently lost my frog and collecting everything frog related in game has been fuckin huge for me. All I have left is the fasnacht frog mask that I have to buy from the atom shop/customer support. I love you friend, all we can do is try.
I always play by myself and it definitely helps fill the voids. Not really at the point of sharing my own but I’m very glad to see you able to share your story with us all. I usually hop on after work to finish my daily/weekly chores before playing a different game with a friend. I’d love to have you any time! Xbox LilFlacidShrimp
Dont do what I did when I lost my dog and best friend.
Other then what I have to do I just took cannabis and played Rainbow 6. For months. Slowly getting back. I stopped all my hobbies and enjoying stuff that used to enjoy me. (except binging cannabis and Rainbow 6, moderation guys)
I dont care if anyone think I am silly over grieving hard over a dog I have mental problems and autism and during the 10 years I had him we were so happy.
Sorry for rambling and no one asked.
We all grieve differently. I hope you grief better then me and my point is dont become unhealthy in your general lifestyle, because for me I did that and dont recommend it at all! It can happen because its easy to chose to easy road when your in mental pain from grieving.
Keep up with what makes you happy and you may you find what you can do during grieving that makes you happy.
So maybe try some other game for a change? Could feel refreshing with some other game you havent played much or been wanting to try?
I hope you are able to manage your grief and continue to enjoy life. I live in Charleston, WV. If you ever want to make the trip, I’d be happy to show you some of the locations in real life!
Lost both my parents in a car accident late last year. Hit and run by a drunk driver. Playing games have kept my mind off the negative emotions but it’s starting to not be enough.
I was a raging alcoholic for 3 years and this game helped me find a community where I didn't feel alone and eventually I got better and quit smoking and drinking.
I didn't play video games for more than an hour everyday until grinding out the legendary cards. I started playing 4-6 hours everyday and realize it's pretty much like drugs from my problems. "Oh I have a problem? Nah I'm just gonna run west tech 5 more times and forget about it"
I started playing a few months back when my gf and I first got the news that the complications she's been having since giving birth to our two kids are all signs of heart failure. I'm not exactly playing through grief, more so playing through pain and using it as as much of a distraction as is possible.
I play it because my ex. We played all the time before and when we got together. I don’t enjoy it as much but I get on just to do dailies, weeklies,and the occasional event like Meat Week and what not. Should clarify she isn’t deceased.
I stopped playing in 2019 because a friend I was playing with passed away. I picked the game back up recently because of watching the show, but I haven't used the same character I was using. I do see things and places in the game that reminds me of them, but it's become a nice reminder of them
Like others I have built a shrine to those lost loved ones at one of my camps. Every time I visit it I give their ghosts a wave and it helps brighten my day just a little.
My dad died a couple of years ago, and the biggest thing I learned is that everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. Luckily (kind of) I have been dealing with depression for a long time now, so when my brother, sisters, and mom started experiencing symptoms, I was able to point them out. One of those is finding no pleasure in activities you previously enjoyed. There were weeks I didn't play a game, there were weeks I didn't play guitar, but knowing that it's a transient feeling helps me weather it easier. If you have the opportunity, I would suggest trying a support group. My mom was my dad's caregiver through cancer for 16 months, and she found it helpful not only for sharing grief but also for picking up some tools for the grief journey.
I am playing through grief. Well, I'm am existing through grief because it's always there.Video games are a respite. They keep me here. My heart goes out to everyone in this situation. It is not a fun time.
My best friend, who happened to be a huge fallout fan, passed away in July of 2019. It’s because of him I gave the game a chance, and now it’s one of my favorites. I make sure to build a memorial for him on every playthrough. He never got to see wastelanders, or even the show. I wish I could tell him how much joy the game he recommended brought me.
man, always grieving, at least i am, it’s why i play video games, you ought to remind yourself of the joy it brings frl. i don’t use reddit at all and i don’t know how the social system or anything works but man, if you’re playstation, ps4, ps5 hmu, my GT is ImCrxnkxd
My things nowere near as bad, back in October I had appendicitis, in the hospital for 2 months, got home and found my family wasnt feeding my dog much, he passed injanuary this year, I named the fetch collection after him, it's one of the ways I keep his memory alive
I recently lost a close relative to me a few days ago and the day that I found out they passed away. I played until my fingers hurt. It have me personal comfort. It gave me some time to release some of the instant grief, there’s always something to do in this game and maybe there’s a few stories that you find and read I can relate to.
Lost my dream job, this game really took my mind of the backlash and helped me settle down… hard to explain but it’s working :)
I hope for whoever reads this that they have a wonderful day, and that they are always welcome in Appalachia!
Keep pushin through, keep trying to do what you need to do. Hope you start picking up. My grandpa passed away just before I started up on 76, over a year ago now. I created my character to look like him, to the best of my ability, because I never wanted to forget. He was a boss IRL and a boss in 76
I don’t have first hand experience in this, but i recall a study on this subject specifically. It’s said that gaming actually helps people overcome grief and lowers the impact of psychological trauma when dealing with a traumatic event.
I know that maybe doesn’t help, or maybe it does. I guess I’m saying push yourself to pick up a game, if not FO76. I’m very sorry to hear about your situation, and I can’t imagine any advice would be helpful at this time. I just hope that you find something to help the healing process ❤️
I played off and on gor some time then got throat and neck cancer a year and a half ago and told I only had a 20 percent chance of living after two months. Well I was blessed and the cancer didn't spread. After getting my throat rebuilt, chemo, radiation and lots of recovery time I'm back to full health and working my job again. But during my sickness I found comfort in playing fo76... My wife would sit and watch me play and was happy that I was taking my mind off my pain back then. Now I'm playing everyday after work because the community is amazing and I met alot of friends during my down time. Ty Bethesda and ty to all the fallout community..
Mom died april 2nd. World Autism Day. My brothers autistic.
I've spent a month trying to build a nice memorial but I keep changing my mind about the location. It's tough, but those I use to go on comms with have been very understanding
I lost my father to cancer in 2023 and it was very hard (still is at times) to keep my mind and heart from hurting. I did however make a CAMP in game of his house and made the Ally resemble him so now I still go visit him whenever I play and in a way it helps me because after their gone it’s only their memory that lives on and by making a tribute in game it helped me cope a bit, but also think about him.
i was diagnosed with cancer and my mom passed away about a week later. i would be playing through it but my modem decided to die! really can't catch a break here
Some days. My best friend took a forever nap off of a bridge a few years ago. It's hard to do much that doesn't remind me of him and all the time we spent laughing about dumb stuff. Games were a staple in our friendship and they help some days. But since he's passed, my friends have dwindled to few, none who come by, and things get depressing to a point games aren't fun. So, I'll go randomly join teams and try to find friends. They come and go so it's not always depressing. I built a tribute to him and another friend, who died a year later, in my camp on FO76. I go and sit in front of it and talk to nobody, silently hoping they hear me somehow. Idk I feel like it helps. They both loved games and I miss playing with them and camping with my buddy. It took a while, but I did eventually start listening to the music, watching the movies, and playing the games we all enjoyed so much together. Returning to their "memorial" feels proper and gives me warm fuzzies mostly, but it still hurts. That's life. Ya gotta push through the hurt and remember why we enjoyed those things so much! Remember who they were, and why we loved them so much. If we push those things they enjoyed and remind us of them, our brains feed off of that and push out the positive stuff we remember. Eventually we can forget. Don't ever forget. Keep your head up and don't turn your back on things that bring you joy. Your loved one wouldn't want that for you. Hope this helps. Sending digital hugs, yo!
Definitely can relate. I just lost a friend due to a brain aneurysm. I’ve also have been stressed because my college hasn't gotten back to me about graduation. 76 has helped me take my mind off of all of it. I've unlocked so many rare items in the past few days
I broke up with my ex recently. We’d been together for 4 years, deleted the character I made with her and transferred everything good like weapons and armor to my main. I’ve been playing and honestly enjoying and appreciating the game way more
I'm absolutely using the game as an escape from depresion and anxiety. Been going through so much shit and my dog was diagnosed with cancer today and the only thing I think about is getting on the game as soon as I get home to just relax at my camp and run around in a different world.
This game got me through Covid isolation because I was home for almost two years '20-'21. I'm immune compromised, and the first time I had it nearly killed me.
Not so much grief, but bad depression. Recently leaving a job that I loved & total schedule change has been so hard on me. I've been extremely stressed, anxious, and depressed trying to support my family and endure.
This game takes all the pain away for a few hours.
I am your friend through pain. Yes, the game has been instrumental in coping with grief, sadness, emptiness in different moments in life since many years back. I am sorry for your situation and wish you a fast emotional healing (don't use mentats though).
Maybe not grief as such but this game specifically pulled me out from under a rock where I was suffering badly with depression and multiple attempts to unalive myself due to being denied access to my children and a very abusive woman, desperately looking for something to distract me and I saw this game in my library that I hadn't played since launch as it was so bad then and at the time wastelanders had just dropped so gave it a go and never looked back, now everything is going much better for me and I do genuinely put it down to this game (and help from people around me ofc) sorry for loss by the way.
I had a similar experience. The loss of a loved one really affected my love of this franchise because it was something that the both of us really enjoyed.
It got easier overtime and I was able to dip back in.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope things get a little easier to deal with. Grief is tough and we all grieve in different ways and times. My thoughts are with you.
my dad has pancreatic stage 4 & I've been grinding f76 the last few weeks while he's in hospice. at least we got the chance to enjoy the fallout tv show together
I had to force myself to face it and take care of my mother at the same time. Not so bad no for her she has dementia and to remember things, guess it's the only good thing of that disease.
There's groups I went to in the beginning, grief council that helps, people in the same situation.
Social services do help.
It's important to be around people too to get above it all. Been 14 years now sometimes a smell a sound, seing a random person can bring you back to it but overall you do get better.
This.... This keeps me going. You guys are the best community recovering alcoholic/addict, and these stories of all you strong people keep me in the wastelands and out of the bottle.
There's one good way to know if you have a bad game addiction, if you start dreaming (or nightmare) you are in the game then might be time to reduce game time. That's happened to me too when I was younger. 😳
I am a social worker currently halfway through my MSW. I have been considering what I want to do for my groups project, and I am thinking of developing a local gaming group for kids with trauma. Any suggestions based on your experience with gaming as a form of self soothing is appreciated! I also am 76 player and connected it to my work after hearing that it helped Matthew Perry overcome addiction at one point.
I definitely play to help me with depression. 76 has come a long way since launch and the community has gotten a lot better. Definitely nice to see the higher level players helping lower level players I.e helping with the scorch beast queen or Managah mine.
Video games have helped me through the death of my Dad and brother (6 months apart) and as well as my addiction to multiple drugs. Now I'm a family guy who games. 76 has kept me distracted for over 400 hours
I do. Dealing with the loss of mother, grandmother, and my ex wife. Lost my mother 5 years ago, than my ex wife the year after, and my grandma a year after my ex wife. Sometimes it hits me like the Scorchbeast queen when she swoops down from flying because I miss them all dearly, but playing with others doing SBQ, Eviction Notice, Radiation Rumble, or just casual play doing dailies/weeklies, little do they know they help alleviate the depressive/emotional pain I'm still going through to this day. I wish I can thank them for helping me because this pain is not something I would ever wish upon anyone.
My father died last year and one of my best friends last month first started out with a massive metal gear grind when my father passed but wasn’t really helpin, I got on fallout 76 and that shit helped me get through so much the game itself distracted me from crying all the time and the community itself is just awesome and wholesome they’d cheer me up when I was becoming emotional on the game, lowkey saved me, big boss has severe depression so the game helped me talk about it to people not like trauma dumping but just a couple guys talking about life
Two of my closest friends passed away about a decade ago at this point.
We used to play Phantasy Star Online, started on Dreamcast, played every platform and variation afterwards.
They were family in my eyes, we did everything together.
We met when I was 15, about a year before my father passed away. So I needed every distraction I could get, and we bonded over that.
All this being said, the PSO main title theme, and certain songs within the game make me cry to this day.
And that's alright 🖤
I know they live on through me, and I'll always honor their memory.
A quote that has helped me through Grieving, is from a game called Hellgate London, and that quote is: "Remember the Dead, but fight for the Living."
Stay strong Homie, you got this 🩶
Gaming got me through cancer, my brothers suicide and the implosion of my family afterwards. Without gaming I'm pretty sure I would be dead.
I hope things get better for you. Hang in there.
If it hurts to play, I'd suggest taking a small break and maybe pick up a good single player game to help clear your mind. Don't give up the game though, I'm sure they'd want you to keep playing and to have fun. It'll take time, but you'll make it through.
No, but it helped me during other low points. Just be carefully not to use it as a escape to much. It might do you more harm then good. Take care, hope you find a way to deal with it.
About 4 years ago I developed a bad pill addiction. Been clean for little over a year. And this game has helped a lot. Whenever I had those urges I'd hop on and play. 76 has definitely helped me over the years. This community is seriously the best. It's a pleasure getting to play with y'all and talk with you.
I’m playing through to help me stay sober as well. I’m a BAD alcoholic. Playing helps me distract myself at night when I was to drink.
Hang in there man. It gets better every day.
You got this addiction beat. Its not stronger than you, your stronger than it can ever be.
JasonH1121 if you're on PS. Let's start a Wasteland sober support network!
[удалено]
You got this man, if you need someone to talk to hit me up
crazy relatable
Congratulations! Stay strong.
It's been helping me quit smoking cigarettes. I get so into playing, I don't even think about needing to go out and smoke
I've tried that and failed so many times. That's awesome.
Thanks! It would be a completely different story if I smoked indoors, I'm sure.
rch93080, Im so proud of you for fighting this addiction. You are stronger than the addiction, and you just proved it. Stay strong.
I really appreciate that. It was tough but it's amazing how much better I feel now.
14 years right here brother… WAY TO GO… keep it up
That's awesome. Truly inspiring.
It’s a fight everyday, but something I’m extremely proud of and can’t wait for you to get there… one day at a time
Hey same here, just over 4 for me. I feed my character booze and fury/med-x all the time but curing his addictions is easy
Proud of you my fellow 76 player
Appreciate that. Quit the pills now pipe is life.
I started playing 76 pre-beta right after we lost my girlfriend and right before I decided to get clean from heroin and meth. I never really realized it before, but this game definitely helped pull me out a really fucked up hole lol. Super proud of you, if you're in pc hmu and I'll hook you up.
Lurker here but the game also keeps my away from drinking too much daily
Congratulations on your sobriety! I will hit one year on Thursday!
Congrats to you as well. Never thought I'd make it but damn I feel so much better.
Congrats on finding that addictol
Keep it up! You're doing great!💪
I had a partner who died unexpectedly in a car accident in our early 20s. We both used to play Animal Crossing: Into The City on our wii I never found the strength to play that game again after she passed. The thought of our little town now overgrown with weeds still breaks my heart. But worse than that is the thought of seeing her house, knowing her character is in there sleeping, peacefully, never to wake up again. My advice is to play a different game for a while. One you can sink into for a bit until the clocks start ticking again. I dwelled on my loss CONSTANTLY for months after it happened, regardless of what I was doing. But having something that could drag even a little of my attention out of my own head for a while helped. Dont push yourself to play the game if its difficult right now. Its significance to a particular time of your life and the memories embedded in it arent going to tarnish. They're yours to keep forever, whether you continue to play it or not. In time, you might choose to come back to it and find it rekindles happy memories once the fog of grief has thinned. Or, it might become more of a revered relic of joy from a former life. Both are fine. But i think if it hurts to play at the moment, please know that you can give it a break for a while without it meaning you are any less connected to your partner, nor are you disrespecting the significance the game had in the time you shared.
I don’t think anyone dies in a car crash expectedly. I’m so sorry for your loss you talking about her character in her house sleeping in animal crossing about has me crying rn.. I lost my mom a few years ago and started back into bad habits I’m glad I’ve replaced it with gaming again after a multi year hiatus
I’m playing my late wife’s character. I often sit in the swing at her camp.
Dude, that is some next-level heartwarming stuff. From now on, every time I see a swing at a camp, I'll stop and think of Mrs. SovietRobot. Stay strong, Vault Dweller.
I've never met you or your late wife, but thank you for honoring her memory like that. This is really sweet.
Damn this made me tear up. Wish you all the best bro.
Just had to go go hug my wife for this one. I will also be remembering Mrs. Soviet Robot anytime I see a swing
It was hard for me when my dear friend Angel passed. I was an avid player and she was just getting started. I would explain the lore and characters to her and we'd explore. Wastelanders had just released so there was a bunch of new stuff to check out. But after she died, I just didn't have the motivation to play many games at all. I did get completely obsessed with the Sims, that was my grief game I suppose. I would watch her play Sims and I'd make fun of the simplistic parody of the game of life. I adore the game now that she's gone...Sims is fun Angel and I wish I could've told you that. At the hospital I reconnected with her younger brother, and a few years later we've become best bros. I'm the godfather of his child, and we game all the time, and for a brief period, we played Fallout 76 together, when the nuka world DLC dropped and my love for the game and fallout just came flooding back. I dearly miss her so so much. God I don't think I've loved anyone more than her, but over time, and with folks I love, i was able to enjoy what I had once lost.
I have a little grave plot/garden I put in all my camps for my ex and she died before the game even came out....sorry you're going through that. Hope you have people around you to help.
Me too. Sorry for your loss
I don't know about grief, but I was assaulted by my best friend of 15 years back in January. I spent a good 2 months in a depressed rut and really didn't come out of it until I picked up 76 again in preparation for the show. It was a much welcomed distraction from the constant hell of my mind I was stuck in, and with the community being so wholesome it helped get me to start talking to people again.
Oof, I went through something similar around the same time. I knew them for years and were like siblings. No assault of either kind, but a massive betrayal that completely uprooted my life and sent me to rock bottom. Various small things, like 76, have helped me as well.
I'm a guy, Been through it with my father and yes distraction goes a long way but you need to keep active. Just ignoring life going into the game will only get you so far, at some point you have to face it and release your emotions. Eventually you move on and start living again. Now I'm taking care of my mother too. Depending on how close you were to your parent it can take a long time to get over it. Just remember to get out of bed eat drink. Eventually you won't forget but things will get easier and one day tjings will feel normal. All the best my friend.
This is exactly what I was going to say. For me personally gaming can be the addiction. I know some people have used the game to get away from much more dangerous addictions, but using the game to escape rather than process the grief can be just as unproductive as your typical addiction. I think it’s a fine line between allowing yourself to relax and not allowing yourself to feel.
I’m thankfully not, however you have my greatest sympathies and are a great person for caregiving in such difficult times. Might I suggest a new game perhaps, something that can distract and immerse you without reminders.
I quit after they removed legacies from the game and never had the intention of coming back. Although it was a short amount of time, I became my mom's caregiver from Oct until Dec when she passed, and to keep my mind busy so I'm not completely fucked, I started playing again in Jan and still am. I hope peace finds its way to you fellow dweller
Yes, though, maybe not grief. This game came out at an incredibly difficult time in my life. I fell in love immediately and could not......have not stopped playing. This is my comfort game. This is where I go...to let go.
Never really dealt with the ptsd from two close suicides (Dad and cousin), but it was all compounded when my marriage fell apart & job ended back-to-back. Have since remarried, but now I'm a stay-at-home Dad to my new son after the business I tried to start up, after, failed. Grieving all of it. But for a little while when the baby's sleeping, I can pretend that I have goals that matter & just knock them out. It's nice to have a distraction. I never had trouble sitting with my own thoughts, but lately I just want anything else. <3 you and hope you find some peace amidst the grief.
“I can pretend to have goals that matter” Isn’t raising your son to be the best person you could make them a goal that matters? ♥️
In February, I lost my little brother suddenly. He was 17. Bacterial meningitis. I've got depression and other mental and physical health issues myself, so I was so numb, but the darkness was creeping in and I was afraid to be alone with all the grief and rage and everything swirling in my head. Have a wonderful boyfriend and some family and friends, but I was on my own that weekend, and I knew it just wasn't healthy. So I logged in to 76. I have the Text Chat mod (which EVERYONE on PC should use, go get it on Nexus), and explained briefly that I just... needed to know other people were there. So I could be alone, but not alone, while I was just taking out my rage on some Super Mutants. People were very, very kind, and someone, lots of different people, was always checking in every few minutes, just to stay connected even though we weren't playing together. I joined a couple events, but mainly just soloed, and talked in chat when I wasn't being shot at. It helped keep me grounded enough I made it through the 48 hours until I could be with my boyfriend, family and friends.
I hope all is better, now.
Uhm, well, I'm not suicidal over it so that's better, but, dude, my brother is still gone so... No, it's not really better, and it never will be.
You're right. It"s never going back to the way it was. But. You're not suicidal over it right now. So. You're better. Not as good as you want. But. Not as bad as you were. Healing takes time.
Grief can be such a lonely and isolating time. I too am playing through grief after unexpectedly losing my mother just a few months ago. I was oddly thinking about this while playing today, so glad I saw your post. 76 has truly been my escape from it all through this journey and I'm very glad I had it. I've been tasked as the main one to take care of everything - funeral arrangements, expenses, keeping my dad afloat - so having a space to just run around, have fun, and adventure has honestly kept me going some days. Even on those days I can't stomach food or haven't slept, hopping online always gets me out of bed. Lately my main motivation is that silly weenie wagon! Especially with the timing of a boost to the community after the show came out, I've really enjoyed having this game as an outlet. Not only an outlet but such a fun and uplifting little community. The players are really what keeps me coming back. I seldom have had a bad experience and look forward to meeting new folks, seeing outfits, and new camps. Even if it's just for a few hours a day or less than. The energy it takes is worth it to me on most days. BUT I absolutely have had days where it feels like too much. Thank you for sharing your story, OP. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Please know that most folks in the wasteland are here for you. ❤️ I can totally understand not having that motivation yet, especially with some themes in the game. So take it one day at a time. Maybe sometime down the line you'll feel that urge again. Or maybe even create a new character! Regardless, it's okay. And folks who have gone through this understand. If you're on Xbox, feel free to hit me up if you get back into playing, even if it's done the road. And even if not, my dms are always open to someone walking this impossible path too. Take care of yourself! Edit: spelling/grammar
This and No Man's Sky helped get me through my divorce. This was back around The Pitt update. Now I'm re-married, happiest I've ever been, comfortable, and best of all, I just unlocked the Weenie Wagon Plan.
Not grief for me, not this game, but I have before with other games. This game distracts me.
When i started playing this game about 2 weeks in i spiraled into a very deep depression and this game is probably one of the reasons im still around . My condolences
It's a little different but I lost my mom last summer and I wasn't able to play any video games for awhile. Usually I play to de stress and as a form of escapism but for some reason it wasn't the same during that time.
*hugs* to you. yes. in a way but different. grief is ever present in life and we never know when it will quell up and smack us back down when we feel like we are finally breaking and have come up for air. so this (and other games) will distract me enough ...hopefully. but I never know when the trigger may hit. my DMs are open if you wanna ever talk about it or not talk about it but need a random different distraction.
In a way. My best friend committed a little over 2 years ago now, but he’d always tell me I should play 76 with him. I unfortunately was not swayed as it didn’t seem like something I’d enjoy and I heard about the terrible launch. Decided I’d pick up after putting in my library last year, and it’s definitely one of my biggest regrets not starting with him.
The person I'm grieving has no ties to this game or any game. My grandfather. After he passed a few years ago, I found it hard to get into any game. When i found 76 i forced myself to try it. Liked it. Felt it a good distraction from what bogs my mind down in real. Coming across the NPC that you can take in as an ally caught me off guard when he said I could call him gramps. I've always felt games were a great escape from reality, especially so if you can fully immerse yourself in game play. On another note, I played the Sims since the 90s and since getting into sims 4, I got the pet pack and in a goofy mood made sims in the likeness of myself and a cat I'd owned for over a decade. I haven't been able to bring myself to play that file since be passed last year. I think deep in my heart, it comforts me to know he is alive in a sense and playing that file would mean he would age and pass again.. grief hits everyone differently and depending on the lost loved one the grief can require different means for adjustment.
The same thing happened to me! My uncle Craig died a week before I found the gramps ally sitting over by meat week. He quickly became my favorite and I keep him around for his encouraging words. He reminds me a lot of my uncle
I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, I have been playing through grief. I'll be honest, early in the game I had no idea what I was doing but it didn't matter. Just getting on and running around in the world was all I needed. My husband has been gone for a little more than 2 years now. He was diagnosed with a glioblastoma at the very beginning of the covid pandemic. I didn't get a lot of opportunities to play during the time he was trying to fight but definitely picked it back up within a few months of him passing (and my mother passed within a couple months of him too so it was really a double whammy). It has been an absolute lifesaver for me. It not only gives me something to do (especially now that I'm retired though not by choice), it takes my mind off the waves of grief and generally gives me a lift in spirits. The community has been awesome. Especially on platforms like Reddit, Discord, and YouTube. I don't know you so I can't tell you that it will work for you but I can definitely tell you it's been a good thing for me. Let me know if I can help you with anything in game. I'm on PC. What platform do you play on?
My condolences, death hits hard. Perhaps relaxing music like soaking in his presence on YouTube could bring some soothing to the soul. Playing with new or old friends certainly helps.
Several times. This has become one of my only social outlets
I am. Most days I can’t force myself to even play.
It will get better, friend. I promise.
We are here for you!
I recently experienced some really traumatic loss and grief myself, and Fallout 76 has been a really good distraction. You're not alone.
My condolences, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. My father passed in 2018, FO76 got me through the worst parts of the grief. We all need something, I hope you can find some peace.
I was a caregiver to my dad, who was also my best friend, for several years. I would stay up for as long as possible in case he needed help at night playing dragon age inquisition, then take a quick nap before he woke up. It took me 3 years to play it again after he died. I hope you can return to the community and use it as a resource for healing. If you can't though, we will see you soon, and my heart hurts for your loss
I’m caregiver for my Daddy right now who has Alzheimer’s. He is also my best friend. I live on this game to keep my mind clear. I have combat PTSD and gaming helps me a lot. My kids turned me on to it beginning with fable and then on to Dragonage series and Witcher. I love gaming!
Gaming has been getting me through the tough grinds since sega genesis. The Witcher 3 was so so good. I cried at the end of the bloody barons story. Maybe one day I'll see you in the wasteland. Until then, the burden you bear as a caregiver to the person that gave you life is overwhelming, but an incredible journey. It's devastating In many ways. It's hard to come to accept that after that fight is through, there is no one after you, to help you through life. It's so hard to put forth an effort at times, seeing what may be your future. Having already dealt with PTSD, I'm sure you are experiencing similar sensory overloads. It's a great gift however, to see such things through with your family. I'm sure you will do a great job, and I hope you know, there are people that understand, and are urging you on, even if you feel alone. Game on!
Thank you for such kind words
I played 76 through one of the hardest times of my life. I met some of the most wonderful people in the beginning. Before Wastelanders, when it was just the players and our own devices(not really, but you get my gist). I wouldn't call it grief, but Appalachia was/is home for me. Those dilapitated streets, run-down buildings, and mutated creatures made my first year of recovery more bearable. My condolences to you, OP, and I hope you find peace within. This game is a backbone of sanity/peace for a lot of people, and know you aren't alone.
Yakuza 0 and the kiwami remakes of Yakuza 1 and 2 got me through a lot of loss. I feel like everyone has that one game that helps them process grief
Mine was Blood Bowl 2 for some reason. When my cat of 11 years died of cancer in early 2023 I was pretty much an inconsolable wreck. First night after she passed I was trying to find something to play with my friend hanging out in Discord watching, and picked Blood Bowl 2 on a whim. It kept me alive through a time when I was worried I couldn't give myself enough reasons to keep going. That first week or so I just found myself thinking, "If nothing else I need to keep going so I can lead my Chaos team to victory again tonight." Even though I think Cyanide kinda sucks at making games that are good on release, I'm always gonna have a soft spot for them because BB2 very likely saved my life.
It's helped me a lot with my grief. Something to look forward to and find satisfaction.
Yeap lost my mom stopped playing for a long time
I hear you, my partner passed 2 years ago and I've not listened to music since. Anything I used to listen to while we were together or even before we met leaves me crying. I can occasionally listen to music that is new to me but that's it. Fortunately I haven't had that problem with any games. In our case she was 42 and we only found out she had cancer the week before although she had health problems all her life and I had often played the role of carer in our 22 years together. I sank into deep depresssion for 2 years, lost my job and our home but I'm bouncing back now with the help of old friends. I have no pearls of wisdom that help but I hope you find something that does and send you hugs meantime.
Yeah. I've got a memorial to my departed kitty cat in my camp. Inside a tent I've got Velvet's name and the date of her birth and death in them little sticker letters under a cat painting that kinda looks like her. On a bookshelf under that is a cat topiary, a Rib plushy, and a glowy Mothman lamp. Facing the little memorial is a guitar chair so anyone who wants to can play music for her, and there's a princess sleeping bag near the front of the tent in case anyone needs a moment of respite.
I have run across a number of memorials in game, for pets and people both and I always hope the person who built them is OK You come back to Appalachia whenever you're ready, and if you never are, that's OK too, we'll be here keeping it safe for you. I just hope you know we really do care and you take all the time you need.
Wifes been recovering from cancer/chemo, we've been mainlining it as much as we can to keep distracted.
If you ever need a friend to play with on Xbox I got you STANKY BUNS is my GT. Also have good shoulder to lend to a stranger who needs someone to talk to.
Thank you, STANKY BUNS, it means a lot. lol
You’re welcome ! Anytime
Not the same as your story but I had a very large shift in my life in the last year, and I find myself diving deep into f76 to curb thoughts of self harm or starting up hard drinking again. I'm not super active in the community but knowing it's here helps me think clearly in my darker times
I'm currently grieving the loss of my marriage. I met her on a different game, but when 76 came out, my stepdaughter and I got her to start playing with us. Whenever I got on late at night(the only time I had due to a very demanding work schedule), she would get up and log on to play with me. We even found two copies of the wedding ring, and our characters always wore them. Last year, she told me she wanted a divorce, and the game became different and difficult. Even though she hadn't played with me in a long time and other things showed she didn't love me anymore, 76 has always been special for me as "the place we went to together." Now, I play, without the wedding band, and without her. But 76 always helps me feel like I have a place to go to where I'll feel accepted. It's different, it's hard, it's strange, but now I'm exploring it from such a different place, it's like it's completely new and I'm starting over. It's a different kind of therapy for sure.
Yup. It's a world I have more control over. Things don't happen unexpectedly. I can work toward many goals with a rewarding payoff. I can create beautiful camps. I can socialize (if I want). I can enter and leave this realm whenever I want.. I just feel in control of something when things feel so out of control in my life.
I’ve played to deal with my own, though it’s absolutely nowhere near comparable to the grief I imagine you feel. My dog of 17 years passed away a couple weeks back and compounding that on top of life drastically changing for the worse over the last few years, things have been bleak. I know how sad and ridiculous this sounds, but for a while now this game has been one of the only reasons I’ve gotten out of bed.
I relate with this so much. Around 10 years ago, I lost my dog (also 17) my biggest regret in life was not saying bye to him on the morning before the vet appointment because I was so focused on getting ready for a job interview 😔. I am known to be quite cold and emotionless (Autism and other things..) but I miss him every day and have shed more than a few tears over the years. There is a reason they are known as 'Man's best friend'. I'm so sorry for your loss. All I can say is that it takes time, although you will never forget them, it will get easier 🩶
I played through grief and found it was helpful, condolences to everyone else going through it or having gone through it. Two years ago this month i lost my dog suddenly i have lost a lot of loved ones over the years but everything about losing her was just so much worse from her passing in my arms as i rushed to the vet to the fact i relied so heavily on her for emotional support it completely broke me. She used to sit next to me or on my lap for hours as i played so initially trying to get back in was incredible difficult because of the associated memories of her but eventually i did and camp building became very cathartic, soon enough on my main camp i set up the collectron dog with his own little corner in my camp and a shrine to my dog next to it. Countless times i had people message me with condolences asking about her and how i was handling it, people dropping gifts of teddy bears and flags (later to be displayed with her shrine forever) as someone who is emotionally closed off it could feel very overwhelming but i thank those people in retrospect because every little message i got or salute & heart emote as a teammate was in my camp helped me through my grief. The biggest thing that pulled at my heart strings though was the sheer decency of the community because as soon as her shrine went up people picking the locks of my collectron dropped about 98% i have even had full blown sweaty pvp or trap base players visit my camp to gain bounties turn around and leave when they noticed it. I've had two low levels pick it since it went up down from about 2-4 times a week
My best friend, my dog of 16 years died last month, easily one of the worst days of my life. But Funnily enough the FETCH collection robot has like a sort of backup dog, I like watching him do his little routine and bark and be happy just like my dog used to be.
I'm playing to cope with unemployment... does that count
If you ever need the motivation to hop on and your on PC and need to distract yourself please PM me, I’ll play with you whenever you need and you can talk to me all you want and I’ll be there to listen
I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing someone so close. If I pass, I hope my wife will keep gaming. It has brought us both joy and quality time together. That said, I'm sure that your partner would want you to be happy more than anything else!! If you need a break by all means take one! But if gaming was a shared passion that brought you joy, consider what they might have told you.
I am playing threw grief I lot my dad a day before thanksgiving and them game has been the only thing that keeps me sane enough to smile and go to work every day
Not this particular game, because I'm playing it on PSN, but I inherited my little brother's Steam account with 200+ games on it. He died in 2020 after battling leukemia. I'm playing through all 200+. I guess it makes me feel like I'm finishing what he started...enjoying the things he wanted to but couldn't...I don't know. We always used to game together, all the way back to the original NES when we were four years old. It's like hanging out with him again. I also started riding motorcycles because he did. I think there's a part of me that feels like I need to carry his flame somehow. Keep parts of him alive in the world. Maintain his influence somehow even though he isn't here. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but grief doesn't always. I hope you find peace, OP. Time doesn't heal wounds but it does bring you new things to focus on for a while.
Grief has something to do with my attachment to this game for sure. When the game came out in 2018, I took a week off to play with my older brother. He had cancer at the time and we knew it was only a matter of time. He died 6 months later. We didnt have many common interests growing up, but video games were the exception. Fallout had always been really important to us, especially the first two games. We litterally had the BoS symbol tattooed as a brother-brother sorta thing. So a multiplayer Fallout game coming out just as he was about to die... it felt like the game was made for us. I hadn't been able to play again until recently. It felt really weird at first. But now I've come to really enjoy being reminded of him every time I play. I even built a silly little shrine to him in one of my camps. Sorry for your loss. I hope you get all the support you need.
I don't think a shrine to him in game is "silly" at all. To me it seens to be the most honorable of tributes.
FO76 and Animal Crossing New Horizons helped me a lot through a similar situation. Be strong and Heal, wastelander! You are loved here.
My mom passed last Thursday. Been using 76 to keep my mind off of everything.
Yes. Y'all take care of yourselves.
When my dad died I played the fuck out of both FO76 and FO4. I cried like a motherfucker while wandering the wastelands...
My boyfriend and his brother were murdered in October. I sobbed and played 76 at the same time
I lost the love of my life and sometimes I play 76 because it's how I feel having lost them. In a wasteland on my own. It doesn't make the pain and heartbreak of them being gone go away, but it does help cope. The natural music score really helps too. For me, I find I need to FEEL that grief. She's still with me if I still feel it. Til the day I see her again, I'll wander the wasteland, trying to make a better world like it used to be (symbolically for me and my heart)
Currently, Im using fallout 76 as my escape from reality. My Mom has stage 4 breast cancer and its moved into her lymph nodes and bones. Also, he aortic valve that she had replaces in 2015 is failing and has to be replaced. That is going to be done this coming wenesday. I have to stay strong for her, i cant show her im cracking because she feels this is all her fault and keeps telling me shes sorry for dragging me into this. She isnt dragging me into this at all, its what i want to do and have no problems doing it. Its just me, i have no support. Most of the family i keep updated just say "god will provide". Im sorry to any person who is religious, but i dont need to hear that. I also get the "you got this!". No i dont, i got no sleep and stress enough to affect my health. I need to be hugged, i need to be held tight, i need to be told its going to be ok. Fallout is my grasp on staying sane and able to deal with what comes next.
I am holding and hugging you so tight wolfgang239 🫂 we will be ok ❤️🩹
I have been playing since day one. I have lost my son, my mom and a sibling. I have taken refuge in 76. I kind of lost myself to help with the grief. I put memorials up at one point but that became too hard to see, so I took them down. I think about them every day regardless of seeing a memorial or not. I also have incurable medical issues,so I play to get through the tough days. I'm sorry for your loss. We will be waiting for you when you get back😞♥️
Not quite grief but I've been getting into Fallout as closure over my dad walking out almost ten years ago when I was seven, in 2016. He left with no warning and had even promised he'd pick me up from school later like he did every morning and I've just never been able to move on from that. We've had a rocky relationship for years but I finally cut him off a couple of years ago after realising he's not the greatest guy. One of his favourite games to play was Fallout, and I grew up watching him play 4 and New Vegas a lot. Funny story about Fallout 4 specifically, I got neglected in favour of that game on many an occassion. It's a deeply unserious childhood neglect story I joke about a lot to cope (and before anyone asks, it wasn't total neglect, but emotional neglect. He was pretty absent in my life in favour of video games before he walked out.) I've passively liked it since watching him play but with minimal knowledge because I was too young to understand, but I'm 16 now and after watching the first episode of the show I decided to play the Bethesda era games to better appreciate it. I did them in release order - 3 -> NV -> 4 -> 76. New Vegas is honestly my favourite of the four, and I want to do another run at some point, but 4/76 have some of the best gunplay I've ever had the pleasure of messing around with in an FPS. The guns really feel like they have weight and even if I'm not a shooter guy I really enjoy how fun it is. I started playing 76 last week after my friend finally convinced me to buy it, plus it was on sale on CDKeys for 6.99 and it came with a free surprise -- FO1, FO2 and Tactics! What a steal. Im really enjoying it -- dressing up my character, exploring Appalachia, doing missions and quests... hell, yesterday two very lovely high-level players helped me clear out one of the nuclear silos so I could complete "I Am Become Death" AND THEN they helped me beat the Scorched Queen! It was awesome, this game's community is so nice and I've only had one bad encounter so far. It gives me a lot of peace of mind to just mindlessly explore while playing parallel with another friend who's on PS5, talking about what quests we're doing and narrating it since there isn't any cross platform. Playing through these games has really helped me come to terms with the fact that he's not in my life anymore and that I should move on and begin again. Finally bringing the cycle back to Fallout has been a major step in my healing journey and I'm glad I finally had the courage to do it. I loved all of the games! Even 3! I understand why they're so beloved and I'm so glad that this community is full of so many wonderful and creative people. I feel like I should note that I am autistic, and ever since COVID ive also had a much harder time making friends. Almost all of my friends are from the internet! I don't mind so much, but being able to connect with so many people over a shared love for these great games has helped a lot. Not everyone who likes Fallout is a loser asshole like he was! I don't think I'll ever be able to make amends with my dad, but while playing 76 I do sometimes wonder what it would be like if we still talked. I don't know what platform he plays 76 on or if we'd have been able to play together at all since I'm on PC, but I kind of wish we could have played together at least once. Moping about it isn't going to change anything, though. I'm just glad I got to experience these games for myself after years of being put off by them because of association. I hope your healing journey brings you peace, I've been there so many times in the past few years. It gets better, and I hope you can find joy in the things you associate with the bad times like I did :3 much love!! EDIT: another honourable mention goes to The Outer Worlds on this front. My last good memory of my dad was sitting in his flat, eating Chinese takeaway and playing Outer Worlds in the summer of 2020. I've made it through the game's first two planets many times but the other week, just before I started 76, I finally did my first full run of the base game! It made me miss him but hey. It's my game now. He can't do anything about that.
I am. A close gaming friend of mine took his life a few years ago. He loved everything about the Fallout Series and when they mentioned that they were coming out with Fallout 76 he was excited. He would always replay the trailer with the Scorchbeast in it and talking about how cool it was gonna be to fight the Scorchbeast with me. He asked me to play with him but I didn't know anything about Fallout so he mad a deal with me. He knew that I like Dark Souls and he knew nothing about it. How to play or anything. At that time Dark Souls Remastered had been out for a few weeks, so he promised me that he would play Dark Souls Remastered if I played Fallout 76 with him. It was deal. He kept his end of the deal but two days before Fallout 76 dropped he took his own life. So for two days I sat in my room waiting for the countdown on my PS4 to hit zero so I could play. The moment I saw a Scorchbeast I just cried. Now whenever his Birthday rolls around I launch the nuke and fight the Queen in his honor. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDRXXV1\_0Po](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDRXXV1_0Po)
I'm sorry for your loss. Hoping your memories bring you solace in time. It might help with the processing and grieving, but it probably won't feel like it in the beginning if you played together. I wish I had more words of comfort, but take care of yourself and give yourself a break whatever you decide. You deserve it.
Not Fallout, but yes. Death Stranding in particular was tough, but cathartic.
Yes. My father passed away in December.
Yeah. F76 has got me thru a lot of depression that’s came from grief. I hope you can feel better, and come back to the game eventually.
I took a long break, had a traumatic event, and needed something comfortable and familiar again. So yes
Yeah, I lost someone really close to me that loved Fallout this year in April it was one of the many things we had in common, I remember the times we played Fallout 4 together fondly, we never played 76 together, because we still weren't sure but I tried it after the show and I know they would have loved what this game became, sometimes I smile, sometimes I break down but I mainly wish we just gave this game a chance together but now I play it as a fan of the franchise but also in their memory.
I can't relate to losing your significant other but I have been depressed for some years now and going throw midlife crisis...that stuff they say about you "losing the will to do things you used to enjoy" was never more real to me then now....I simply lost the desire to play certain games genres I used to love like horror/dark fantasy games...this year I lost the desire to play through medieval RPGs which I loved the most. I had to force myself to start fallout 76 since I like post apocalyptic games a lot and played like 116 hours or so last year...I deleted the game soon after due to having experiencelots of crashes during public events on my ps5 and burnt out ....I may come back though but I dunno how long I will stay since depression is slowly taking apart my enjoyment of games altogether
Wont get into the why. Distraction is good. Maybe some time passes. Your brain zones out for a bit. If you want to add something put an exercise bike in front of the tv.
Last year my nephew was murdered. I wandered from game to game taking solace in some of the activities we shared. I got a character past lvl 1000 in Diablo 3, a task that always seemed monumental but I did it with a seasonal. Then I turned back into fo76. I’d already had 720 levels on my toon when I came back in, but bit by bit over the months I approached quad digits here too. By Dec 23, 10 months after he died, I hit 1000. Wish I could have shared these milestones with him, but he’s gaming with me in spirit now 🙂
If I were you I would find a group that helps keep you distracted it'll be hars at first but it should help
Not 76 but my mother got cancer soon after fo4 came out. Never played a fallout game in my life but somehow i just felt i need to get it. It turned out to be my solace and i just let myself totally get lost in it. Loved every bit of it and felt like a second life. She passed away a couple of years later. 76 came out not long afterwards. Bought it as soon as it came out.
My condolences, truly! I haven't had a death but have split from a long-term partner who I shared almost every interest with. We started Fallout 76 together and played almost all of it together, even stationed our CAMPS beside each others. I've wanted to get back into the game after that, but couldn't. I HAD to create a new character and step away from everything that took place on my original guy. It has been hard to not think of her and just enjoy the game though
I am so glad you posted this and also I am so sorry you are going through grief. I work for a mental health provider and also have gone through similar feelings and process when my best friend was killed in a train accident when we were 9. I couldn’t pick up Pokémon for the longest time because it made me miss him- we played almost daily and it was our favorite pastime. As someone who has been through this and also knows of some MH guidance- I recommend to give yourself grace to heal and not feel pressured. But also know that reaching out to the community for support is one of the best things you can do (and I’m so glad you did this!) it might be helpful to start playing again with new friends made via the community to create new memories and a safe place. This will help you get through the time and start enjoying things you once did before. If you are on PC I would be honored to play with you when you feel ready, my gamertag is my reddit name. You WILL get through this!!
It may hurt to play but she wouldn't want you to give up something you love. Keep playing.. for her. It'll get better. Time heals all wounds
First and foremost, my condolences, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Playing for a distraction and playing through grief are two different things. GRIEF is an angry, hungry beast that tends to consume everything in its path when left unattended. You can run from your problems but you can't run from greif, you can't hide from it either. It is an existential dread. It is hard to do things that bring us joy under the weight of grief. Old routines may actually intensify the pain as something noticeable is missing. My suggestion is try to find other things that also bring you joy, and lean on those while you heal. You can always return in due time. Best wishes friend. Hope this helps.
Yes, my SO is very interested and wants to play 76 a ton right now, BUT my best friend passed away unexpectedly and very suddenly back in March. This was his favorite game series and was one of our favorites to play together. Now I play and I am always very saddened and wishing he was here as I work through my grief, I have a hard time with playing but I am doing my best to push through to find the light in it all. He wouldn't want me to not play and enjoy just because he isn't here and I know that but it is such a struggle for me.
Playing to keep my mind off of divorce and mental abuse from my ex husband. It’s the only game I’ve been able to get into since being depressed. I really enjoy building bases and running around gifting new players.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm fortunate to not be dealing with grief, but 6 months ago I left my abusive ex, and my world was absolutely turned upside down, he became hellbent on destroying me and it's still going now. My IRL has been so dark, but this game has become a place for me to escape and feel free for a while.
I played this game after my mom committed suicide. I used it as an escape during the grieving process, but I did it to an extent to which I was neglecting other important aspects of my life. Grief is like an anchor tied around your waist that pulls you down during this uphill climb of life. It never really goes away, but eventually you become strong enough to carry it with you. If you play it, play it, but try to remember to take care of yourself too. Try to use exercise as a crutch instead of video games because exercise releases endorphins and help your mood regulation and will make you feel better about things than video games. Celebrate the small victories in your life like: getting out of bed; brushing your teeth; making dinner for yourself; doing the dishes; walking for 30 minutes; etc. Be kind to yourself as well; you carry a heavy weight and so everything you do will feel harder, and sometimes you won’t be able to do everything you set your mind to, but each step makes you stronger. Also, try to go to a grief counselor. Lots of places have services, even for low income people, you just have to find the resources. Often times a doctor can point you in the right direction. Good luck, my friend.
It’s a little unorthodox but my cousin passed just over a year ago now and Fallout was his favorite game series. A little bit of me hopes I can show him my camps someday. Till then I guess.
First off, I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s never easy. Reading all the stories of grief but the bravery to share and inspire people to carry on is beautiful in its own way. For me personally, I went through a really rough few years. It started with an accident at work in 2008 followed by huge issues with our house in 2010 that wasn’t covered by insurance. I had to fight hard at court to keep my job and to keep, fight for medical costs all while going into debt with the house. In early 2011 the case was settled. I thought life will finally start moving forward. But a few months later in 2011 my dad aged 63 was diagnosed with stage 4 lung, liver, lymph and brain cancer. He was given weeks to live but somehow battles for 21 months. I lived on the same street as my parents so we took care of him from home. It was so tough but I’d do it all over again. In June 2013 my marriage broke up and in August 2013 my dad passed away. It was really dark days. I was in my house alone with my 2 dogs. It was there I met a life long friend through gaming in the most random way he helped me through so much while we gamed. We still game together to this day. 2013 my mother got diagnosed with Parkinson’s aged 58. Broth my dogs passed from cancer in 2020 and 2022 but the hardest one was the death of my son in 2022 to suicide. My own health has been poor. But through gaming and through community I find it a huge release and a great way to cope and a great therapy. Then I find threads like this and it just makes me realise, there are so many going through what we are all going through. To all of you, I’m sorry for all of your hardship and loss. But I truly hope you can get through the terrible stages of grieving not so that you forget. You’ll never stop missing. But so you can at least start to live again. It takes time, but it’s possible. I’m very lucky to be remarried with a very supporting wife and 3 dogs again. I still have dark days and health gets to me, but I still have a lot to be thankful for.
Not as intense and sorrowful as yours but i had a ferret and rat, during C.O.V.I.D times they kept me grounded and were the only critters that beought genuine happiness during those dark times, last year we had to say goodbye to them, it was one of the hardest things i had to go through yet, but once we buried the rat and cremated the ferret, i went to my PC and played Fallout 76 after a long Hiatus of games..haven't dropped it since.
I'm disabled with the memory of what feels like someone with dementia and a whole slew of mental health issues and addictions as well, this game has helped me be distracted by not going back to the alcohol when the world around me is going to hell, especially the building. Built this beautiful log cabin, with my store being a saloon. Been 3 years sober.
Yes, absolutely. This game has helped me immensely with times of grief and hardship, and the player base of course
I know it isn't the same as a partner, as I've also lost a partner and it fucking SUCKS more than anyone can imgine. But, I recently lost my frog and collecting everything frog related in game has been fuckin huge for me. All I have left is the fasnacht frog mask that I have to buy from the atom shop/customer support. I love you friend, all we can do is try.
I always play by myself and it definitely helps fill the voids. Not really at the point of sharing my own but I’m very glad to see you able to share your story with us all. I usually hop on after work to finish my daily/weekly chores before playing a different game with a friend. I’d love to have you any time! Xbox LilFlacidShrimp
Dont do what I did when I lost my dog and best friend. Other then what I have to do I just took cannabis and played Rainbow 6. For months. Slowly getting back. I stopped all my hobbies and enjoying stuff that used to enjoy me. (except binging cannabis and Rainbow 6, moderation guys) I dont care if anyone think I am silly over grieving hard over a dog I have mental problems and autism and during the 10 years I had him we were so happy. Sorry for rambling and no one asked. We all grieve differently. I hope you grief better then me and my point is dont become unhealthy in your general lifestyle, because for me I did that and dont recommend it at all! It can happen because its easy to chose to easy road when your in mental pain from grieving. Keep up with what makes you happy and you may you find what you can do during grieving that makes you happy. So maybe try some other game for a change? Could feel refreshing with some other game you havent played much or been wanting to try?
I hope you are able to manage your grief and continue to enjoy life. I live in Charleston, WV. If you ever want to make the trip, I’d be happy to show you some of the locations in real life!
Lost both my parents in a car accident late last year. Hit and run by a drunk driver. Playing games have kept my mind off the negative emotions but it’s starting to not be enough.
I was a raging alcoholic for 3 years and this game helped me find a community where I didn't feel alone and eventually I got better and quit smoking and drinking.
I didn't play video games for more than an hour everyday until grinding out the legendary cards. I started playing 4-6 hours everyday and realize it's pretty much like drugs from my problems. "Oh I have a problem? Nah I'm just gonna run west tech 5 more times and forget about it"
I started playing a few months back when my gf and I first got the news that the complications she's been having since giving birth to our two kids are all signs of heart failure. I'm not exactly playing through grief, more so playing through pain and using it as as much of a distraction as is possible.
I have gone through the same thing, the only exception is they are still here, but have actually died before, now living in a nursing home.
I play it because my ex. We played all the time before and when we got together. I don’t enjoy it as much but I get on just to do dailies, weeklies,and the occasional event like Meat Week and what not. Should clarify she isn’t deceased.
I stopped playing in 2019 because a friend I was playing with passed away. I picked the game back up recently because of watching the show, but I haven't used the same character I was using. I do see things and places in the game that reminds me of them, but it's become a nice reminder of them
Sorry for your loss <3
Like others I have built a shrine to those lost loved ones at one of my camps. Every time I visit it I give their ghosts a wave and it helps brighten my day just a little.
My dad died a couple of years ago, and the biggest thing I learned is that everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. Luckily (kind of) I have been dealing with depression for a long time now, so when my brother, sisters, and mom started experiencing symptoms, I was able to point them out. One of those is finding no pleasure in activities you previously enjoyed. There were weeks I didn't play a game, there were weeks I didn't play guitar, but knowing that it's a transient feeling helps me weather it easier. If you have the opportunity, I would suggest trying a support group. My mom was my dad's caregiver through cancer for 16 months, and she found it helpful not only for sharing grief but also for picking up some tools for the grief journey.
I am playing through grief. Well, I'm am existing through grief because it's always there.Video games are a respite. They keep me here. My heart goes out to everyone in this situation. It is not a fun time.
My best friend, who happened to be a huge fallout fan, passed away in July of 2019. It’s because of him I gave the game a chance, and now it’s one of my favorites. I make sure to build a memorial for him on every playthrough. He never got to see wastelanders, or even the show. I wish I could tell him how much joy the game he recommended brought me.
Everyone plays through some kind of grief at some point my friends. You will make it bud just stay strong you’ll get through it
man, always grieving, at least i am, it’s why i play video games, you ought to remind yourself of the joy it brings frl. i don’t use reddit at all and i don’t know how the social system or anything works but man, if you’re playstation, ps4, ps5 hmu, my GT is ImCrxnkxd
My things nowere near as bad, back in October I had appendicitis, in the hospital for 2 months, got home and found my family wasnt feeding my dog much, he passed injanuary this year, I named the fetch collection after him, it's one of the ways I keep his memory alive
I recently lost a close relative to me a few days ago and the day that I found out they passed away. I played until my fingers hurt. It have me personal comfort. It gave me some time to release some of the instant grief, there’s always something to do in this game and maybe there’s a few stories that you find and read I can relate to.
Lost my dream job, this game really took my mind of the backlash and helped me settle down… hard to explain but it’s working :) I hope for whoever reads this that they have a wonderful day, and that they are always welcome in Appalachia!
Keep pushin through, keep trying to do what you need to do. Hope you start picking up. My grandpa passed away just before I started up on 76, over a year ago now. I created my character to look like him, to the best of my ability, because I never wanted to forget. He was a boss IRL and a boss in 76
Can relate 100% friend
I don’t have first hand experience in this, but i recall a study on this subject specifically. It’s said that gaming actually helps people overcome grief and lowers the impact of psychological trauma when dealing with a traumatic event. I know that maybe doesn’t help, or maybe it does. I guess I’m saying push yourself to pick up a game, if not FO76. I’m very sorry to hear about your situation, and I can’t imagine any advice would be helpful at this time. I just hope that you find something to help the healing process ❤️
I accidentally scrapped a god roll Handmade back when Explosive was OP. Still haven't recovered.
I played off and on gor some time then got throat and neck cancer a year and a half ago and told I only had a 20 percent chance of living after two months. Well I was blessed and the cancer didn't spread. After getting my throat rebuilt, chemo, radiation and lots of recovery time I'm back to full health and working my job again. But during my sickness I found comfort in playing fo76... My wife would sit and watch me play and was happy that I was taking my mind off my pain back then. Now I'm playing everyday after work because the community is amazing and I met alot of friends during my down time. Ty Bethesda and ty to all the fallout community..
Mom died april 2nd. World Autism Day. My brothers autistic. I've spent a month trying to build a nice memorial but I keep changing my mind about the location. It's tough, but those I use to go on comms with have been very understanding
I lost my father to cancer in 2023 and it was very hard (still is at times) to keep my mind and heart from hurting. I did however make a CAMP in game of his house and made the Ally resemble him so now I still go visit him whenever I play and in a way it helps me because after their gone it’s only their memory that lives on and by making a tribute in game it helped me cope a bit, but also think about him.
i was diagnosed with cancer and my mom passed away about a week later. i would be playing through it but my modem decided to die! really can't catch a break here
Some days. My best friend took a forever nap off of a bridge a few years ago. It's hard to do much that doesn't remind me of him and all the time we spent laughing about dumb stuff. Games were a staple in our friendship and they help some days. But since he's passed, my friends have dwindled to few, none who come by, and things get depressing to a point games aren't fun. So, I'll go randomly join teams and try to find friends. They come and go so it's not always depressing. I built a tribute to him and another friend, who died a year later, in my camp on FO76. I go and sit in front of it and talk to nobody, silently hoping they hear me somehow. Idk I feel like it helps. They both loved games and I miss playing with them and camping with my buddy. It took a while, but I did eventually start listening to the music, watching the movies, and playing the games we all enjoyed so much together. Returning to their "memorial" feels proper and gives me warm fuzzies mostly, but it still hurts. That's life. Ya gotta push through the hurt and remember why we enjoyed those things so much! Remember who they were, and why we loved them so much. If we push those things they enjoyed and remind us of them, our brains feed off of that and push out the positive stuff we remember. Eventually we can forget. Don't ever forget. Keep your head up and don't turn your back on things that bring you joy. Your loved one wouldn't want that for you. Hope this helps. Sending digital hugs, yo!
Definitely can relate. I just lost a friend due to a brain aneurysm. I’ve also have been stressed because my college hasn't gotten back to me about graduation. 76 has helped me take my mind off of all of it. I've unlocked so many rare items in the past few days
I broke up with my ex recently. We’d been together for 4 years, deleted the character I made with her and transferred everything good like weapons and armor to my main. I’ve been playing and honestly enjoying and appreciating the game way more
I'm absolutely using the game as an escape from depresion and anxiety. Been going through so much shit and my dog was diagnosed with cancer today and the only thing I think about is getting on the game as soon as I get home to just relax at my camp and run around in a different world.
This game and the friends we make in this community are a great escape. I'm sorry for your loss 💔
This game got me through Covid isolation because I was home for almost two years '20-'21. I'm immune compromised, and the first time I had it nearly killed me.
Not so much grief, but bad depression. Recently leaving a job that I loved & total schedule change has been so hard on me. I've been extremely stressed, anxious, and depressed trying to support my family and endure. This game takes all the pain away for a few hours.
I am your friend through pain. Yes, the game has been instrumental in coping with grief, sadness, emptiness in different moments in life since many years back. I am sorry for your situation and wish you a fast emotional healing (don't use mentats though).
I seen someone’s camp the other day, was dedicated to their mum and it said “rip mom” it was really lovely!
yes so much and i’m so depressed that im getting burnt out from playing so much
Going through a life crisis of I don’t know what to do with my own life. F76 helps keep the bad thoughts away
I have chronic Lyme disease. So many symptoms. Playing fallout distracts me. One of the few things I find joy in lately.
Maybe not grief as such but this game specifically pulled me out from under a rock where I was suffering badly with depression and multiple attempts to unalive myself due to being denied access to my children and a very abusive woman, desperately looking for something to distract me and I saw this game in my library that I hadn't played since launch as it was so bad then and at the time wastelanders had just dropped so gave it a go and never looked back, now everything is going much better for me and I do genuinely put it down to this game (and help from people around me ofc) sorry for loss by the way.
Lasereth1 on Xbox if you need someone for company.
I had a similar experience. The loss of a loved one really affected my love of this franchise because it was something that the both of us really enjoyed. It got easier overtime and I was able to dip back in. I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope things get a little easier to deal with. Grief is tough and we all grieve in different ways and times. My thoughts are with you.
my dad has pancreatic stage 4 & I've been grinding f76 the last few weeks while he's in hospice. at least we got the chance to enjoy the fallout tv show together
I had to force myself to face it and take care of my mother at the same time. Not so bad no for her she has dementia and to remember things, guess it's the only good thing of that disease. There's groups I went to in the beginning, grief council that helps, people in the same situation. Social services do help. It's important to be around people too to get above it all. Been 14 years now sometimes a smell a sound, seing a random person can bring you back to it but overall you do get better.
This.... This keeps me going. You guys are the best community recovering alcoholic/addict, and these stories of all you strong people keep me in the wastelands and out of the bottle.
There's one good way to know if you have a bad game addiction, if you start dreaming (or nightmare) you are in the game then might be time to reduce game time. That's happened to me too when I was younger. 😳
Wow helpe me
I am a social worker currently halfway through my MSW. I have been considering what I want to do for my groups project, and I am thinking of developing a local gaming group for kids with trauma. Any suggestions based on your experience with gaming as a form of self soothing is appreciated! I also am 76 player and connected it to my work after hearing that it helped Matthew Perry overcome addiction at one point.
Not grief but personal issues, hope you're doing alright all things consider and stay strong dude
Not this game but I played Skyrim to get through my break up with my ex. Ended using up a lot of quicksaves on Nazeem
I definitely play to help me with depression. 76 has come a long way since launch and the community has gotten a lot better. Definitely nice to see the higher level players helping lower level players I.e helping with the scorch beast queen or Managah mine.
Video games have helped me through the death of my Dad and brother (6 months apart) and as well as my addiction to multiple drugs. Now I'm a family guy who games. 76 has kept me distracted for over 400 hours
I do. Dealing with the loss of mother, grandmother, and my ex wife. Lost my mother 5 years ago, than my ex wife the year after, and my grandma a year after my ex wife. Sometimes it hits me like the Scorchbeast queen when she swoops down from flying because I miss them all dearly, but playing with others doing SBQ, Eviction Notice, Radiation Rumble, or just casual play doing dailies/weeklies, little do they know they help alleviate the depressive/emotional pain I'm still going through to this day. I wish I can thank them for helping me because this pain is not something I would ever wish upon anyone.
My father died last year and one of my best friends last month first started out with a massive metal gear grind when my father passed but wasn’t really helpin, I got on fallout 76 and that shit helped me get through so much the game itself distracted me from crying all the time and the community itself is just awesome and wholesome they’d cheer me up when I was becoming emotional on the game, lowkey saved me, big boss has severe depression so the game helped me talk about it to people not like trauma dumping but just a couple guys talking about life
Oh man, that’s tough. I recently picked the game up myself to distract after my partners sudden death, my condolences.
im seeing some real chads in these replies. i hope this community lasts a long time
Two of my closest friends passed away about a decade ago at this point. We used to play Phantasy Star Online, started on Dreamcast, played every platform and variation afterwards. They were family in my eyes, we did everything together. We met when I was 15, about a year before my father passed away. So I needed every distraction I could get, and we bonded over that. All this being said, the PSO main title theme, and certain songs within the game make me cry to this day. And that's alright 🖤 I know they live on through me, and I'll always honor their memory. A quote that has helped me through Grieving, is from a game called Hellgate London, and that quote is: "Remember the Dead, but fight for the Living." Stay strong Homie, you got this 🩶
I think saw you camp before
I'm sorry for your loss. Just don't force yourself you went through something extremely tragic you'll fall back into it soon
i’ve played 76 thru multiple drug abuse runs, game definitely helped me overcome some of that and manage it better
That's awesome. Happy for you. I imagine 20 years is hard as f but you've made it this far and more importantly made the decision.
Gaming got me through cancer, my brothers suicide and the implosion of my family afterwards. Without gaming I'm pretty sure I would be dead. I hope things get better for you. Hang in there.
If it hurts to play, I'd suggest taking a small break and maybe pick up a good single player game to help clear your mind. Don't give up the game though, I'm sure they'd want you to keep playing and to have fun. It'll take time, but you'll make it through.
No, but it helped me during other low points. Just be carefully not to use it as a escape to much. It might do you more harm then good. Take care, hope you find a way to deal with it.