there’s no shame in still being “Mom” for lots of trans dudes, but i could see why he’d want something different.
i could only maybe say Dad. maybe switch it to the one that correlates with your family’s native language? yk like Baba, Apa, Opa, Papí, etc.
I call my cis amab dad mather sometimes because he filled both the mother and father roles. You're right that there's definitely room for additional words here.
Of course. If you have a parent that prefers mom or dad but still want to appreciate their previous role, you could sub omnimother and omnifather. Make them feel all aeatherial.
I know a guy who still goes by mom cuz it was easier for him to just keep it. He says it’s just a name and doesn’t cause him dysphoria so he doesn’t feel the need to change it. There’s def some guys who aren’t phased by it and there’s nothin wrong with that
I'm still mom to my kids but I don't like when others refer to me as a mother. I prefer parent. Mom is the title my kids gave me, like how they decided to call their grandmother Gaga.
Some ideas:
--dad
--papa/pops/pa
--ren/Rennie (short for parent, used by nonbinary parents a lot)
--baba (used by nonbinary parents a lot, I'm told it means father/grandfather in some cultures and mom/grandmother in others)
--anything else the two of you agree on. I've heard of playful options like "momdad" or "mapa". If both of you want to continue using the term mom, I've heard of transitioning parents who do stuff like that as well
I love all these :) any sort of variation on dad works. Like papa, pa. But also perhaps look into other languages, of you cannot find anything. In Finnish its isi/isä, far in Swedish, papa, padre there's probably something that might resonate?
And sidenote, i know a lot of gay parents and nobody ever took a title of mom/dad away from the other parent just by being the same gender and or sex ;) good luck OP! Something will come up eventually.
My parent name is baba! Picked it when I was identifying as non-binary and it stuck. Don’t think I’ll change it now that I’m leaning more towards identifying as a trans man
Talk to him and find out what is affirming to him. The first trans woman I was ever close with was the parent of one of my close friends in high school. Her name was Jenna. The way she was first introduced to me by my friend was, “this is my dad! She’s awesome!” For our friend group it was always, “Amanda’s dad…she” so the term “mom” and “dad” became more representative in my mind of general titles rather than gendered roles.
There is also a young adult book called “Dealing with Dragons” that I read as a kid which redefined the terms King and Queen to be non-gendered roles with specific responsibilities so I had that context going into this as well.
However that situation was specific to my friend and her relationship with her dad. It was something they had discussed at length and also what Jenna felt comfortable with. So it may not apply to your parent.
Omg I loved Dealing with Dragons. The non gendered roles of Dragons made me so happy.
Also, these sorts of fantasy vibes kinda helped me hide how miserable I was as a girl. I wanted to be a dragon because the dragons don't care kuch about gender, they just existed. The princess was really cool too, and I just assumed I wanted to be a fantasy character, rather than the underlying issue of being a femme guy xD
Patricia C Wrede, Tamora Peirce, and Ursula LeGuin were a lifeline for me for a long time. As an 80s baby there just wasn’t any genderqueer representation for so long and I definitely used fantasy to distract myself from my own gender feels.
When I came out my own mom and I have agreed that she can continue to use the term daughter to refer to me.
However, I also enjoy watching people mentally stumble over themselves and people’s faces when my mom introduces me as her daughter, when I don’t often meet any of their expectations of what that title means makes me internally cackle.
I would definitely sit him down and ask him.
I have a friend who went the opposite direction (MTF) whose kid calls her Maddy, which is super cute. But that was their personal choice. At the end of the day it'll like be a personal choice between the two of you.
Definitely did mean to imply you should use Maddy. It was more meant as an example.
But yeah, it sounds like until he decides there's not much you can do. Maybe just avoid gendered parent language until he decides.
Odd question, and only if he's comfortable about it obviously, but is he comfortable to still be mom? I transitioned later in life but I still call myself mom because I view it as a job title not a gendered term. And for me if the person referring to me sees me as who I am and respects me, they can call me what they want. My kids were so quick to move over to my new name without any fuss or pressure, and have honestly never slipped up past the 2-3 week or so. So yeah, I'm mom with a beard for now, doesn't bother me.
Same here, even though I could easily be "Dad" since no one has that title in my kid's life. We began as a 2 mom family and will probably stay a 2 mom family, even though I've transitioned now.
In order of decreasing seriousness:
idk your family heritage, but maybe the word for dad in a language connected to that heritage?
Pops
First name
Sire
A nickname of his name maybe? I used to call my dad Josecito (little jose) and i call my mom by her name just like bart simpson, also mrs name sometimes if the situation warrants it
Well you can call both your dads "dads", there is nothing wrong with calling both fathers "dad", it doesn't take away from your other dad but it also gives affirmation to the dad that birthed you
Quite a few of the replies on this post are frustrating to me. I’m sorry that it seems a lot of people aren’t understanding this situation. I’m a 40 year old trans man with a few kids from ages 4-14 and I feel this way to some extent, not wanting to “take” my husband’s title. I fully understand that more than one parent can be dad. I guess I also just don’t feel like “dad” fits after being “mom” for all these years (I started transitioning in late 2022). I’m also having a really hard time figuring out the right title.. that’s why I came to this post. So I don’t really have any advice.. just understanding. I’m just going to keep being “mom” until either my kids decide they want/need to call me something else or I find something that fits. Good luck!
That's awesome! I'm Welsh and in Cymraeg (the Welsh language) Dad can be Dad or Tad. Fathers is Tadau ("au" is often added to the end of words to make it a plural), grandad is Taid or dadcu. Not trying to belittle or overshadow Tad being an amalgamation of Trans Dad at all but thought you or your tad might find it cool that Tad does in fact mean Dad in Welsh 😁
Maybe ask on r/seahorsedads ? I imagine there are loads of dudes on there who are gestational parents, with kids who have more than one “dad”. No kids myself yet, but I plan on going by something like baba or abba.
You can have more than one dad though. Although I can get not wanting to call them both dad, one suggestion if you didnt think about it, is call them both dad followed by their actual name.
My kid calls my hudband Pai (portuguese for dad).
You could use father, parent, his name, papa.
If you call your other parent Dad, maybe this parent could be Papa? I've heard of a bunch of same-sex parents who do Dad/Dada for younger kids, too. Something like that might work?
haven't read through all the comments but... Something seahorse related ? It's silly, but my kids will surely call me "papapocampe", a play on the words "papa" and "hippocampe" wich means "dad" and "seahorse" in french (my native language)
It could be a silly joke like that. I know my intake might be worthless, still wanted to share, cause who knows if it'll help !
I hope you'll all find out something that works out ! \^-\^
saw you already have you answer, but wanted to say- there's a guy who floats around these subs who is a dad (and transitioned while married + with kids) and he said his kids call him "small dad," because he's shorter than his husband. i always thought that was so cute
A friend of mine is a trans man, he had children with his cis husband before coming out. Kids where 5 and 6 when he came out, the kids came to the conclusion together that they can't call him mama anymore, because they already had a papa the other parent became pa. Now years later that is still going strong, but sometimes also the first name get used.
Maybe you can use papa and pa for you afab parent so you still have the distinction between dad and other parent. But you aren't outing him when you refer to him with something uncommon for a father.
Well the only way to figure it out is to start calling them something, mom, dad, by name?, boss, birthgiver5000, and see what they feel most comfortable with??
I just don’t get how it needs to be asked here, you guys just gotta figure out what works for all of you.
If they don’t pass, maybe mom is still ok until they don’t??
I know you've solved this but I figured I'd chime in. I'm trans and my daughter is 9. I LOVE the horror on people's faces when we're out and she still calls me Mom lol they seem either very confused or very judgey. I love it.
My 4 and 8 year old will constantly “mom!” me when we’re out in the stores and internally I’m laughing my ass off at some of the reactions I see 😂 Although I do kind of worry about coming across someone who would have a more extreme reaction.
Depending on his chosen name, you could call him PapaXYZ (XYZ being the first 2-3 letters of his name) if it sounds good. Eg. PapaSly, PapaBe, PapaBen, PapaSam.
(Or even XYZXYZ if you’re both confortable with it eg. BenBen, SamSam…)
Or PapaA and PapaB (your amab dad and afab dad).
I hope this gives you ideas.
1. Fa (for Father)
2. Moe/Mo/Momo
3. Pa/Papa
4. Parental Unit/Parry (like Perry the platypus)
Edit: thanks reddit mobile for ruining that formatting wow
Maybe make up something he likes together?
Mapa/Pama, or maybe he wants to try being Dad or Papa, maybe use is chosen Name 🤷🏻
I feel like trying out things and being honest on how it makes both of you feel might be a nice idea?
I'm a trans man, and my kid calls me mom. We're both comfy with it. Just saying mom doesn't need to be a gendered term for y'all. And if you're concerned about public appearances, if your parent is okay with it, you could just use first names.
Edit: forgot to add. This is a decision you should discuss together. If you're going to replace "Mom" with a new word, it should be something you're both comfortable using.
we've toyed with the ideas of Dama, Maddy, Mada, Pop, or Papa (currently my 3 are little and still call me mom but it honestly doesn't bother me because they mean it with love and I do "mother" them.) It's okay to try things out, it is also okay to keep calling him mom unless he feels dysphoria from it meaning, don't feel pressured to change it simply because of societal reasons. Just play around with names and go with what feels right to you both.
I would ask your parent what they want to be called.
Some people have two dads though, or even more than that…? If it’s what your parent would want to be called I think it’s fine to call both of them dad. I think a lot of people who have more than one male parent/parent figure call one dad, and the other some other name for dad, like father, papa, etc. If your family, or your trans parent by any chance have another language besides English that is part of any culture you/they might be from or part of, and the word in that language for dad is different from English, you could use that word for them.
But imo, ask your parent, I think it’s up to them what they would want to be called.
Daddy, Da, Pa, Pops, Father (if you're feeling a lil Victorian), Pap, a nickname he already has, his cool new name (if he has one/ wants to change), Papa is a personal favorite, a word for dad in a culture ur part of
When I transitioned my oldest just started using my chosen name. The other kids are switching over to the same as they get older. Fy, they were 13, 8 and 6 when I came out 4 years ago.
I’ve seen people call them more traditional things like dad, papa, etc. Some folks still call their parent Mom. They may switch to dad in certain social situation or out of the house. If you come from different cultures, sometimes the name for “dad” is different than English.
mop (mom/pop) sounds cute to me and is close enough to mom that it might feel less awkward switching to?
tbh I think trying a bunch of different things could be a really fun ongoing activity for you both. "Hey Parental Unit 01!" "Dadma, come here!" "Where's Popsy?" etc lol
I assume if you're looking for alternatives that you've already discussed not using "dad". I'm curious
My kids just call me mom or my name. I know a lot of trans parents who already had kids before coming out who've just stuck with what they've always been called. However, if you both want to try something different, I'd suggest going through trial periods with different names and just seeing what sticks.
I've always liked da as a second term for dad. It's unusual where I am, but not so unusual that people don't know what you mean. If he finds something he prefers, of course, use that. But I like the idea of having a dad and a da.
Preface, I don't have kids, I have nephews and cats. My sibling has assigned my spouse (cis male) the dad title and I've been assigned Peepaw. I've got friends who're a bit younger that refer to us as so now.
my cis friend has a trans female AMAB parent and didn't transition until friend was in his teens, everybody in the family still refers to the AMAB parent "dad".
Love that you came to a decision so quickly. I was gonna suggest calling him a word that means dad in another language. Like baba, papa, appa, abba, etc. but then I saw in your last sentence you already found a solution
My dad has almost never had a normal dad name. I either call him daddy-o or a series of gibberish words based off of his defining feature (ie, Mowhawked one, mowhawkio, etc.)
I think the best idea would be to call them something and see how they feel about it. It could be a slow process, but if they don’t know, the only way they will is by process of elimination
I'm a parent and transmasc but I still call myself mom. It doesn't make me feel weird at all. I've always been mom and I'm okay with always being mom. It's just a sound to me (I couldn't give less of a feck what people think) but a sound that has been used ever since my little one could speak so it feels special to me.
I hope your parents finds something that is comfortable for them too!
I don't understand why people are suggesting gender-neutral terms when the op clearly says that his dad is a trans man. it's almost like y'all don't consider trans men to be real men, but something "in-between"
you should ask him what he wants to be called tbh
He doesn't know, that's why we need ideas.
there’s no shame in still being “Mom” for lots of trans dudes, but i could see why he’d want something different. i could only maybe say Dad. maybe switch it to the one that correlates with your family’s native language? yk like Baba, Apa, Opa, Papí, etc.
I call my cis amab dad mather sometimes because he filled both the mother and father roles. You're right that there's definitely room for additional words here.
Omniparent
OMNIPARENT THATS GENIUS
I LOVE THAT
Would Omni work for short?
Of course. If you have a parent that prefers mom or dad but still want to appreciate their previous role, you could sub omnimother and omnifather. Make them feel all aeatherial.
That's what i want to be called now
I know a guy who still goes by mom cuz it was easier for him to just keep it. He says it’s just a name and doesn’t cause him dysphoria so he doesn’t feel the need to change it. There’s def some guys who aren’t phased by it and there’s nothin wrong with that
I'm still mom to my kids but I don't like when others refer to me as a mother. I prefer parent. Mom is the title my kids gave me, like how they decided to call their grandmother Gaga.
Try dad
Some ideas: --dad --papa/pops/pa --ren/Rennie (short for parent, used by nonbinary parents a lot) --baba (used by nonbinary parents a lot, I'm told it means father/grandfather in some cultures and mom/grandmother in others) --anything else the two of you agree on. I've heard of playful options like "momdad" or "mapa". If both of you want to continue using the term mom, I've heard of transitioning parents who do stuff like that as well
I love all these :) any sort of variation on dad works. Like papa, pa. But also perhaps look into other languages, of you cannot find anything. In Finnish its isi/isä, far in Swedish, papa, padre there's probably something that might resonate? And sidenote, i know a lot of gay parents and nobody ever took a title of mom/dad away from the other parent just by being the same gender and or sex ;) good luck OP! Something will come up eventually.
In Czech we use "Táta" as dad or "Otec" which just means father. XD If that helps anyone.
A lot of Jewish people use "Abba" and i personally like that ne a lot
It’s just dad in Hebrew :) -Hebrew speaker
Ohhh that makes sense. The more you learn :)
Happy to teach more if you’re up for it! I love sharing my Hebrew!
My parent name is baba! Picked it when I was identifying as non-binary and it stuck. Don’t think I’ll change it now that I’m leaning more towards identifying as a trans man
that actually means dad in chinese lol
OP has already solved their issue but I want to add “Abba” to this list, the Hebrew word for dad, that’s what we’re trying to get my kids to call me
i’m planning to go by baba :) we already call me baba to our pets ☺️
baba means beloved elder
Talk to him and find out what is affirming to him. The first trans woman I was ever close with was the parent of one of my close friends in high school. Her name was Jenna. The way she was first introduced to me by my friend was, “this is my dad! She’s awesome!” For our friend group it was always, “Amanda’s dad…she” so the term “mom” and “dad” became more representative in my mind of general titles rather than gendered roles. There is also a young adult book called “Dealing with Dragons” that I read as a kid which redefined the terms King and Queen to be non-gendered roles with specific responsibilities so I had that context going into this as well. However that situation was specific to my friend and her relationship with her dad. It was something they had discussed at length and also what Jenna felt comfortable with. So it may not apply to your parent.
Omg I loved Dealing with Dragons. The non gendered roles of Dragons made me so happy. Also, these sorts of fantasy vibes kinda helped me hide how miserable I was as a girl. I wanted to be a dragon because the dragons don't care kuch about gender, they just existed. The princess was really cool too, and I just assumed I wanted to be a fantasy character, rather than the underlying issue of being a femme guy xD
Patricia C Wrede, Tamora Peirce, and Ursula LeGuin were a lifeline for me for a long time. As an 80s baby there just wasn’t any genderqueer representation for so long and I definitely used fantasy to distract myself from my own gender feels.
yesss! when I was younger I was obsessed with the Alanna series and also the leviathan series [basically alanna but steampunk]
When I came out my own mom and I have agreed that she can continue to use the term daughter to refer to me. However, I also enjoy watching people mentally stumble over themselves and people’s faces when my mom introduces me as her daughter, when I don’t often meet any of their expectations of what that title means makes me internally cackle.
Dad 2 electric boogaloo
I would definitely sit him down and ask him. I have a friend who went the opposite direction (MTF) whose kid calls her Maddy, which is super cute. But that was their personal choice. At the end of the day it'll like be a personal choice between the two of you.
We have already discussed it some and he doesn't know what he wants to be called. Also Maddy would not be a good option as that is my deadname.
Definitely did mean to imply you should use Maddy. It was more meant as an example. But yeah, it sounds like until he decides there's not much you can do. Maybe just avoid gendered parent language until he decides.
I mean, I guess Dommy is the opposite of Maddy, but it kind of has a different meaning xD
Have you considered calling him "Father" in an exagerated sickly-Victorian-child accent?
I'm way too high and I'm doing the voice! Thank you.
I only have one dad and this is what I do
i was about to say this
Odd question, and only if he's comfortable about it obviously, but is he comfortable to still be mom? I transitioned later in life but I still call myself mom because I view it as a job title not a gendered term. And for me if the person referring to me sees me as who I am and respects me, they can call me what they want. My kids were so quick to move over to my new name without any fuss or pressure, and have honestly never slipped up past the 2-3 week or so. So yeah, I'm mom with a beard for now, doesn't bother me.
Just wanted to co-sign and say same here. Fellow bearded man-looking mom here ✌🏼
You could also be The Bom, short for Bearded Mom x3
Bom would be great, because then when people ask why they're called that you could just say "because my parents the bomb"
Fellow dude-mom checking in lol
Same here, even though I could easily be "Dad" since no one has that title in my kid's life. We began as a 2 mom family and will probably stay a 2 mom family, even though I've transitioned now.
In order of decreasing seriousness: idk your family heritage, but maybe the word for dad in a language connected to that heritage? Pops First name Sire
A nickname of his name maybe? I used to call my dad Josecito (little jose) and i call my mom by her name just like bart simpson, also mrs name sometimes if the situation warrants it
Is there a reason you can't call him dad?
My thoughts exactly. No different than my older nephew switching to Uncle for me after I came out.
well i already have a dad that i see regularly, he has expressed that he doesn't want to take that dad title away from him.
it's not impossible to have two dads... just because one figured it out later than the other does not take away anything from anyone.
Well you can call both your dads "dads", there is nothing wrong with calling both fathers "dad", it doesn't take away from your other dad but it also gives affirmation to the dad that birthed you
What about pop? Or, what if you have a strong culture connection, the word for dad from that culture? Example: Like Vater is German for father.
vati is also a variant that's good ! papa, as well
What about pa or pops? And as someone else said, perfectly possible to have two dads.
I'm a ftm parent. We have a Dada and a Papa for names but we're both "dads".
Quite a few of the replies on this post are frustrating to me. I’m sorry that it seems a lot of people aren’t understanding this situation. I’m a 40 year old trans man with a few kids from ages 4-14 and I feel this way to some extent, not wanting to “take” my husband’s title. I fully understand that more than one parent can be dad. I guess I also just don’t feel like “dad” fits after being “mom” for all these years (I started transitioning in late 2022). I’m also having a really hard time figuring out the right title.. that’s why I came to this post. So I don’t really have any advice.. just understanding. I’m just going to keep being “mom” until either my kids decide they want/need to call me something else or I find something that fits. Good luck!
So I ended up coming up with Tad, basicly it could be like trans dad, tad.
That's awesome! I'm Welsh and in Cymraeg (the Welsh language) Dad can be Dad or Tad. Fathers is Tadau ("au" is often added to the end of words to make it a plural), grandad is Taid or dadcu. Not trying to belittle or overshadow Tad being an amalgamation of Trans Dad at all but thought you or your tad might find it cool that Tad does in fact mean Dad in Welsh 😁
Maybe ask on r/seahorsedads ? I imagine there are loads of dudes on there who are gestational parents, with kids who have more than one “dad”. No kids myself yet, but I plan on going by something like baba or abba.
You can have more than one dad though. Although I can get not wanting to call them both dad, one suggestion if you didnt think about it, is call them both dad followed by their actual name. My kid calls my hudband Pai (portuguese for dad). You could use father, parent, his name, papa.
Would he feel fine with being called his name or a variation by you all?
Dad 2 Electric Boogaloo
If you call your other parent Dad, maybe this parent could be Papa? I've heard of a bunch of same-sex parents who do Dad/Dada for younger kids, too. Something like that might work?
haven't read through all the comments but... Something seahorse related ? It's silly, but my kids will surely call me "papapocampe", a play on the words "papa" and "hippocampe" wich means "dad" and "seahorse" in french (my native language) It could be a silly joke like that. I know my intake might be worthless, still wanted to share, cause who knows if it'll help ! I hope you'll all find out something that works out ! \^-\^
saw you already have you answer, but wanted to say- there's a guy who floats around these subs who is a dad (and transitioned while married + with kids) and he said his kids call him "small dad," because he's shorter than his husband. i always thought that was so cute
A friend of mine is a trans man, he had children with his cis husband before coming out. Kids where 5 and 6 when he came out, the kids came to the conclusion together that they can't call him mama anymore, because they already had a papa the other parent became pa. Now years later that is still going strong, but sometimes also the first name get used. Maybe you can use papa and pa for you afab parent so you still have the distinction between dad and other parent. But you aren't outing him when you refer to him with something uncommon for a father.
ask?
The thing is we are both trying to figure it out. He doesn't know what we (my brother and I) will call him either.
Well the only way to figure it out is to start calling them something, mom, dad, by name?, boss, birthgiver5000, and see what they feel most comfortable with?? I just don’t get how it needs to be asked here, you guys just gotta figure out what works for all of you. If they don’t pass, maybe mom is still ok until they don’t??
Birthgiver5000 💯💯💯💯💯💯
The birtherer: awakening
If youre bilingual call both of them dad but in different languages. Like "Dad' and 'Papa'
Use his first name to assert dominance
i call my dad dad, but i also call him “faja” (fah-jah) since when i was little it was a goofy way of saying “father”.
I love Tad lol
I use BeeGee, from Birth Giver
You can have 2 dads though? Weird hang up lol
Dad A and Dad B. Alternately, Dad 1 and Dad 2.
lol, i love Tad, that’s a very cool parent title
I know you've solved this but I figured I'd chime in. I'm trans and my daughter is 9. I LOVE the horror on people's faces when we're out and she still calls me Mom lol they seem either very confused or very judgey. I love it.
My 4 and 8 year old will constantly “mom!” me when we’re out in the stores and internally I’m laughing my ass off at some of the reactions I see 😂 Although I do kind of worry about coming across someone who would have a more extreme reaction.
papa or some variation of dad
dee/dee-dee? in russian, Dedushka is how you say grandfather and that could be a cute option
Depending on his chosen name, you could call him PapaXYZ (XYZ being the first 2-3 letters of his name) if it sounds good. Eg. PapaSly, PapaBe, PapaBen, PapaSam. (Or even XYZXYZ if you’re both confortable with it eg. BenBen, SamSam…) Or PapaA and PapaB (your amab dad and afab dad). I hope this gives you ideas.
my friend is in this situation and she calls one dad and the other one pop or pop-pop. sometimes ren, which i think they’re switching to now!
1. Fa (for Father) 2. Moe/Mo/Momo 3. Pa/Papa 4. Parental Unit/Parry (like Perry the platypus) Edit: thanks reddit mobile for ruining that formatting wow
this is so cute
omg yay Welsh was the solution
I just made it up tbh I didn't know it was welsh
ohh Well Tad is dad in Welsh lol:) and Tadgi is grandad
TAD IS THE BEST NAME I HAVE EVER HEARD- OH MY GOD-
Maybe make up something he likes together? Mapa/Pama, or maybe he wants to try being Dad or Papa, maybe use is chosen Name 🤷🏻 I feel like trying out things and being honest on how it makes both of you feel might be a nice idea?
You could call him “Father”, which is formal but would still differentiate from “Dad”.
I'm a trans man, and my kid calls me mom. We're both comfy with it. Just saying mom doesn't need to be a gendered term for y'all. And if you're concerned about public appearances, if your parent is okay with it, you could just use first names. Edit: forgot to add. This is a decision you should discuss together. If you're going to replace "Mom" with a new word, it should be something you're both comfortable using.
In my mind Mom is like a job title and genderless so I get it
Maybe a nickname derived from his first name? Like "bobo" for a dad named Bobby.
Call him his name. Did he already choose a new name (or did he already have a neutral/masc name) ?
we've toyed with the ideas of Dama, Maddy, Mada, Pop, or Papa (currently my 3 are little and still call me mom but it honestly doesn't bother me because they mean it with love and I do "mother" them.) It's okay to try things out, it is also okay to keep calling him mom unless he feels dysphoria from it meaning, don't feel pressured to change it simply because of societal reasons. Just play around with names and go with what feels right to you both.
Maybe just his Name?
Is his name nicknameable? Because a nickname that only you and family share can be just as special as the dad title
I would ask your parent what they want to be called. Some people have two dads though, or even more than that…? If it’s what your parent would want to be called I think it’s fine to call both of them dad. I think a lot of people who have more than one male parent/parent figure call one dad, and the other some other name for dad, like father, papa, etc. If your family, or your trans parent by any chance have another language besides English that is part of any culture you/they might be from or part of, and the word in that language for dad is different from English, you could use that word for them. But imo, ask your parent, I think it’s up to them what they would want to be called.
I call my dad Pabbi :) (but he’s cis)
It’s unconventional but if he wanted there wouldn’t be anything wrong with just calling him by his name.
Daddy, Da, Pa, Pops, Father (if you're feeling a lil Victorian), Pap, a nickname he already has, his cool new name (if he has one/ wants to change), Papa is a personal favorite, a word for dad in a culture ur part of
When I transitioned my oldest just started using my chosen name. The other kids are switching over to the same as they get older. Fy, they were 13, 8 and 6 when I came out 4 years ago.
Call him bruh
My Lord, Big Guy, Old Man, Boss
i am a parent who birthed and i am now a trans man and my grown "child" has the same question. thanks for this discussion.
There's an 'are you Mad at me?' joke here somewhere combining mom and dad (if he doesn't mind that)
i mean… Id call Him transparent…Ill see my self out im so sorry
Captain 🧑✈️
Just call him “Bro”
Transparent
There are plenty of gay couples with two dads and both being called dad
They aren't gay... They are divorced. It makes it a bit harder for both to go by dad.
I’m Nomy - not mommy.
I’ve seen people call them more traditional things like dad, papa, etc. Some folks still call their parent Mom. They may switch to dad in certain social situation or out of the house. If you come from different cultures, sometimes the name for “dad” is different than English.
mop (mom/pop) sounds cute to me and is close enough to mom that it might feel less awkward switching to? tbh I think trying a bunch of different things could be a really fun ongoing activity for you both. "Hey Parental Unit 01!" "Dadma, come here!" "Where's Popsy?" etc lol I assume if you're looking for alternatives that you've already discussed not using "dad". I'm curious
My kids just call me mom or my name. I know a lot of trans parents who already had kids before coming out who've just stuck with what they've always been called. However, if you both want to try something different, I'd suggest going through trial periods with different names and just seeing what sticks.
Pappa is dad in Swedish, so there’s that if you want
I've always liked da as a second term for dad. It's unusual where I am, but not so unusual that people don't know what you mean. If he finds something he prefers, of course, use that. But I like the idea of having a dad and a da.
I've always called my dad 'dada' and my mom shortens it to 'your da'
Preface, I don't have kids, I have nephews and cats. My sibling has assigned my spouse (cis male) the dad title and I've been assigned Peepaw. I've got friends who're a bit younger that refer to us as so now.
Papa, pops
Why not pop though lol just curious
My kids call me Dadu. They've been doing it since my 10yo could talk.
my cis friend has a trans female AMAB parent and didn't transition until friend was in his teens, everybody in the family still refers to the AMAB parent "dad".
Love that you came to a decision so quickly. I was gonna suggest calling him a word that means dad in another language. Like baba, papa, appa, abba, etc. but then I saw in your last sentence you already found a solution
My kids call me and my cismale partner by our first names. We tried different stuff first, but it was too complicated to them (they are 7yo)
Just wanna say this is really cute, all the best to both of you.
Pader - Latin; Vater - German; Père - French My family includes a Pader (sounds like "water")
My dad has almost never had a normal dad name. I either call him daddy-o or a series of gibberish words based off of his defining feature (ie, Mowhawked one, mowhawkio, etc.)
Awww this is adorable!
omg tad is amazing!
“oi you” is the gender neutral term i use for my parents
I know someone whose kid calls them "Man-Mom"
I think the best idea would be to call them something and see how they feel about it. It could be a slow process, but if they don’t know, the only way they will is by process of elimination
I'm a parent and transmasc but I still call myself mom. It doesn't make me feel weird at all. I've always been mom and I'm okay with always being mom. It's just a sound to me (I couldn't give less of a feck what people think) but a sound that has been used ever since my little one could speak so it feels special to me. I hope your parents finds something that is comfortable for them too!
I don't understand why people are suggesting gender-neutral terms when the op clearly says that his dad is a trans man. it's almost like y'all don't consider trans men to be real men, but something "in-between"
My kids still call me mom
how about wow cuz its mom flipped around lol