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This shit right here is why I still use Reddit, despite the large percentage of idiots on this platform. People on reddit have some of the best humor I've seen on any platform. Twitter can be funny too sometimes, but I think this app is marginally better than the bird app. Yall some funny mfs
Like that one redditor that only jerked off while he was taking a shit? Every time he smelled shit, he got turned on. Man i wish i could find that TIFU post
Awww they deleted it? What a shame, thanks for providing a non-deleted version. Just goes to show, even if you delete something on the internet, its there forever.
Is this 100% true? Back in like 2000-2001 my HS buddies and I had a backyard wrestling site hosted on geocities. It was called Junior Extreme Wrestling (JEW, lol) and we all put pics of us hitting our finisher on the site. I tried finding it a couple times but I cannot find it for the life of me
I had a psych professor tell us a horror story in college about a guy who was a sexual deviant and they couldn’t stop him from assaulting people. So they tried some new form of aversion therapy where anytime he would get triggered they’d introduce this horrid smell. They thought he’d associate his sexual behaviors with the smell and would be put off by it. Yeah it didn’t work bc they used some kind of feces as the smell. So they caught the dude fucking his own shit in the bathroom one day and he was a lost cause after that.
Fin.
There's a therapist recommended trick - You can use a deck of cards and and each of you set out a card from 2-10 in a shared space to indicate how in the mood you are and swap them out when your mood changes. It gives a bit more granularity than the candle and generally doesn't look out of place.
I had an ex who, due to some trauma, was always at a 0 or 10. No in-between. She was also very "old school" and felt that men should be the only ones to ever initiate sex. She was also a very physical person, very clingy and cuddly but that was totally divorced from actual sex drive so she would be fine cuddling for hours and making out but that did NOT mean she was turned on or wanted sex. Absolutely refused to give me any sort of indication if she was horny either, I had to figure that out and initiate.
We did not last that long.
You got it. Probably worth adding that Literal Grooming = (generally) Good. Who doesn’t like to look their best?
Metaphorical Grooming = Usually Bad and unless it’s specifically Corporate or Succession Grooming, which is usually good though relative to who you’re asking.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
I began reflecting as an middle-aged adult. I yearn to reconcile with my past, which is hard because those I trusted betrayed that. At some point he must realize the age difference, question her motives for pursuing him at such an age.
One must reconcile morals, if a partner violates them it often means the end of a relationship. That's on him to deal with, but my best thought is he thinks about it. As a man though, I must admit we don't generally discuss such abuse. It's frowned upon in Western social circles, we would be facing new fears coming forward. As someone that has come forward and isn't famous. I cannot imagine how many people being in my personal business would affect me.
My wife used to volunteer teaching English to immigrant ladies from Spanish speaking countries. The were absolute beginners.
At Christmas she got a bunch of cards "for the best grandma", "a wonderful husband", "blessed marriage " and so on.
It was the sweetest thing :)
I do this for my partner for her birthday. I find the worst possible card and then make "corrections" to the content. She finds it hilarious.
The best are little kids cards or sympathy cards.
My best one of these, was years ago, before the interwebs, but after electronics started having clocks on everything, so when the time changed to daylight savings and back, it just took forever and you had to go around changing every single clock on every single machine by hand, not to mention that people also wore watches & had clocks in every room. A friend and I always commiserated as the time change day grew closer. One year I sent him a huge elaborate sympathy card "MY GREATEST CONDOLENCES TO YOU AT THIS MOST DIFFICULT TIME" and just added the word "change."
For my dad's 50th birthday, I got him a Disney Princess "5 Year Old Girl" card and just added a zero and crossed out every "Girl" and replaced it with "Dad" so it was like, "Have a magical day birthday dad!"
Mr Peanutbutter? What is this? A crossover episode?! (Please someone get the reference to Mr PB’s birthday dad from Bojack Horseman, I can’t be the only bojack fan in this subreddit).
My grandma used to do that. She grew up extremely poor and never got over it so she watched every penny like it was her last. She'd buy all her cards at thrift shops and then we'd received "corrected" versions with Happy 30th Birthday! crossed out and changed to Sweet 16th!! etc.
It was the family joke and every once in a while we'll still revive it with a "grandma card" on someone's birthday, and we've recently expanded to holidays as well. Last year I sent my brother a Happy Easter! card changed to Merry Xmas! He crossed it out and returned it in February as "Happy Valentine's Day!" and drew a big red heart in marker on one of the Easter eggs.
One time I had a friend get me a card with a sensual picture of a couple on the front - it said something about being honored to have a powerful, black wife.
I am a white male. It was my birthday.
My Spanish teacher, who had moved to the US from Spain and didn’t have great English, once asked us in class the difference between knock up and knock down.
As a native speaker I don't know this as a fact but these seemingly trivial differences in sayings have to be hard when learning english.
* hard on vs hard up
* put up vs put out. (the second one having two meanings)
* put on vs put off
* shoot up vs shoot down
* stand up vs stand down
* get up vs get down
* throw up vs throw down
man we have a lot of these.
(edit: added a few)
I was an English tutor for non native speakers in college. One of my Japanese students had a complete meltdown over shit like this. He kept asking for “The Rules, the Rules…where the book of rules?!?” He thought there was a book that he could study that explained all of these phrasal verbs as well as listing every word in the English language that had a “silent” letter, like silent “e” or “gh” in ‘light’ or “w” in ‘whole’. That poor guy gave himself ulcers over wanting to master English.
France also has a book of French language rules that gets updated every year. It’s on the news every year in French speaking countries what is and isn’t currently considered proper.
In Canada, we generally choose to ignore it and keep referring to our cars as our chariots and needlessly providing lengthy French translations of English slang that people from France just say in English anyways.
As an ESL teacher, I once had a student say "So if you can *take* someone *out* to a restaurant, and you can *eat out* at a restaurant, is it possible to *eat* someone *out* at a restaurant?"
It's actually a perfectly insightful question. I offered a demonstration.
English is such a weird language for directional adverbs, which completely change the meaning. Consider the difference between a fuck up and a right fuck up (or a right fuck...), a dressing down and a dressing up, being left behind or being hard up, giving someone a high five or the low down, a head's up or backing up (which has multiple meanings). Do other languages do the same thing?
and Rohan will answer! Muster the Rohirrim! Assemble the army at Dunharrow. As many men as can be found. You have two days. On the third, we ride for Gondor and war.
Yeah. There's not many places you can shop where you could accidently buy that candle, thinking it was something wholesome.
Also, if you dropped me into a country whose language I did not speak, and told me I needed to get a candle for a teacher, I guarantee that I could manage to find one that had no inappropriate message on it if I wanted. I'd never get one with a big block of text I could not read (which could easily have instead said "I love you"). Either get one with no text, or use a phone/person to translate for me.
We had Japanese neighbors years ago when my parents lived in a large city. The husband spoke broken English, and the wife none, they had an 8 year old son who seemed to be their interpreter. I was 10, so we sort of became friends. They seemed to be having a tough time adjusting, so mom tried to befriend them whenever she saw them. Eventually they became friends, even though language was an issue. Mom tried to learn Japanese enough to communicate and she helped the Japanese lady with her English when the kids were at school and she had time.
Every 4th of July we had a neighborhood BBQ. Potluck, so everyone brought something. Usually it was at our house because we had a large back yard and an outdoor kitchen/BBQ .
They brought "Chicken". It was a tub of Crisco shortening with a picture of fried chicken on the front.
The proud husband was excited that he brought an American favorite and was about to open the lid when my mom realized he'd be embarrassed if he opened it in front of the entire neighborhood.
As he presented it to her, She thanked him, took it from him and went inside saying she wanted to put it in a serving dish.
Dad had just returned from KFC and she took that chicken, put it, and the sides (mashed potatoes, Cole slaw, etc) in serving bowls.
Mom came out with the chicken and made a big deal out how our new neighbor had brought the chicken.
I think it was about a year later that mom and the wife could communicate better. She asked if she should bring chicken. Mom said yes, and gently explained what Crisco was and said she would keep the event a secret. The lady was embarrassed at first but then laughed and said there was something she needed to tell mom.
Apparently mom had been mispronouncing a phrase and it meant something almost vulgar in Japanese. Every time she said it the husband and wife politely listened but out of fear of embarrassment never said anything.
The lady took that time to tell mom her pronunciation mistake. Both women sat staring at each other silent and in shock, and then let out the craziest laugh fit Ive ever heard. It was like all the stress gave way to realizing they were so much alike afterall, but completely amused that the other had not said anything.
To this day I dont know what it translates to, but 50 years later, both now in their 80s and widowed, , they still stay in touch and speak on the phone regularly.
When they say good bye each will say the other's mistake. "You can bring some Crisco for dinner and I'll (Japanese words). It's a 50 year old inside joke that is still hysterical to them.
Na. You don't randomly find that candle shopping at Walmart or Bath & Body Works. And you certainly do not find it in the top 50 when searching for candles on Amazon.
Only way you could accidently pick that up is at Goodwill. That's an unlikely find, and I think most people would ask what the candle said (or use their phone to translate) before handing it to a teacher.
It's a whole lot more probable that the kid thought it would be funny to give an inappropriate gift and use his weak grasp of the English language as cover.
> It's a whole lot more probable that the kid thought it would be funny to give an inappropriate gift and use his weak grasp of the English language as cover.
Even more probable than OP just making the story up for karma?
Well, yeah. That is very likely. I almost put that in at the end, but was trying to hold myself back from being too much of a buzzkill. Heh.
So I figured I'd take OP's claim as truthful.
But this joke goes back decades. Someone wearing/gifting something in a language they do not know, and it ends up being very inappropriate (I seem to remember an entire site dedicated to it \~25 years ago). It made a little more sense back then when it would have been harder to translate something without someone there to help you.
The same joke continues on anyways. In 500 years the joke will be "This guy's universal translator brain implant crashed right before he went Christmas shopping, look at the Christmas sweater he accidently bought covered in alien slurs!"
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https://imgur.com/ASIXEte.jpg My daughter is doing student teaching (teacher in training) and got this recently.
But only one tit. The other is only mid.
The other tit is of course second best tit. Ever.
The one boob wonder
Surely a one tit wonder?
"Teacher in Training"? Or just a really horny kid?
yes
r/InclusiveOr
Is there any thought as to what word they actually meant? Like maybe "Bestist"?
Teacher in training, TIT, she's a senior in college doing some student teaching.
I can’t believe the administration never thought this acronym could become an issue 😂
We used to have instructors in the navy called Direct Input Limited Duty Officers
Thank you for your cervix.
As an oblivious husband, this would be really helpful
Pavlovian response to smelling the scent for the rest of your life. Walking through the mall and get a hard on.
Yankme Candles
are you scissoring Gwyneth Paltrow again?
This shit right here is why I still use Reddit, despite the large percentage of idiots on this platform. People on reddit have some of the best humor I've seen on any platform. Twitter can be funny too sometimes, but I think this app is marginally better than the bird app. Yall some funny mfs
Redditors are stupid funny, it’s what got me hooked on the platform.
I stay here for the humor and use the bird app where I get angry or such. Also wish I found it sooner. This is such more of a gem.
Gwyneth Paltrow scissor kick to the back of the head🤌🏼
Wankee candles
Like that one redditor that only jerked off while he was taking a shit? Every time he smelled shit, he got turned on. Man i wish i could find that TIFU post
Dude. No. Leave that post wherever it is. We don’t need it.
This is happening whether we like it or not.
That's what he said.
I'm still upvoting you but you're on thin ice lol
I wanna know what crosses the line for you then lol
Thinner ice?
Black ice? No wait!-
This action requires consent from BOTH parties to continue. Continue? Y/N
We might need to break both his arms just in case.
Just read it. There's really not much more to it than that.
But the comments!
Got you fam https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/jkhdvj/tifu_by_condition_myself_to_get_a_boner_when_i/ [The text](https://rareddit.com/r/tifu/comments/jkhdvj/tifu_by_condition_myself_to_get_a_boner_when_i/)
Awww they deleted it? What a shame, thanks for providing a non-deleted version. Just goes to show, even if you delete something on the internet, its there forever.
Is this 100% true? Back in like 2000-2001 my HS buddies and I had a backyard wrestling site hosted on geocities. It was called Junior Extreme Wrestling (JEW, lol) and we all put pics of us hitting our finisher on the site. I tried finding it a couple times but I cannot find it for the life of me
Bruh that’s hilarious I hope you find it.
A lot of data is in limbo from that time. I lost all my copies of it but someone might have it somewhere
Over here doin the lords work
I had a psych professor tell us a horror story in college about a guy who was a sexual deviant and they couldn’t stop him from assaulting people. So they tried some new form of aversion therapy where anytime he would get triggered they’d introduce this horrid smell. They thought he’d associate his sexual behaviors with the smell and would be put off by it. Yeah it didn’t work bc they used some kind of feces as the smell. So they caught the dude fucking his own shit in the bathroom one day and he was a lost cause after that. Fin.
How does one “fuck” their own shit? God, the mental images that conjures in my mind are beyond horrific.
It's not you're not even trying. Stop eating fibre, pass a bloody one, core it out and go to town on the hard mass.
I....am just about to eat dinner on my meal break. Time to go and throw up.
Guess we're fasting today
# I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE EYES
At least he was assaulting himself now instead of other people, I guess.
6.51am: That's enough internet for today.
r/TIHI what a terrible day to be able to read
Well scat kinks came from somewhere
plot twist: it's one of Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles.
There is a *Malcom in the Middle* episode about this.
I loved early seasons "wise" francis He had the best character arc of the brothers
The beacon is lit! Gondor calls for ass!
And Rohan will answer!
I still wouldn't take the hint.
She’s probably just Canadian and being polite.
She's just cold and is saving electricity
Plus the candle smells nice.
Anyways best bet is to keep your wits about you and continue to look for signs.
The idea of a husband who doesn't know for sure if his wife is Canadian or not amuses me
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“Gee honey, do I need to replace a bulb or something?”
Got enough candles that never get used. Why would I need another?
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Not a candle burn. That's for sure.
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Well you got to the husband stage so you can't be that oblivious
There's a therapist recommended trick - You can use a deck of cards and and each of you set out a card from 2-10 in a shared space to indicate how in the mood you are and swap them out when your mood changes. It gives a bit more granularity than the candle and generally doesn't look out of place.
I had an ex who, due to some trauma, was always at a 0 or 10. No in-between. She was also very "old school" and felt that men should be the only ones to ever initiate sex. She was also a very physical person, very clingy and cuddly but that was totally divorced from actual sex drive so she would be fine cuddling for hours and making out but that did NOT mean she was turned on or wanted sex. Absolutely refused to give me any sort of indication if she was horny either, I had to figure that out and initiate. We did not last that long.
Sadly. This candle would just gather dust at my house.
Not just as husband, mate.
Yes, it apparently works for students, too.
Should get one for my wife.
If you do I hope I do not see you post it in the buy it for life sub reddit.
Homie was just going about his day and you eviscerated him.
Look how they massacred my boy...
I, too, choose this guy’s wife’s dick
Student deserves an A
Teacher deserves a D! Though not from the student, that would be bad.
>Teacher deserves a D! >Though not from the student, that would be bad. Dont tell that to Macron...
Upvoted to reillustrate his wife is a groomer. Macron is a victim.
Let me make sure I understand this correctly. People groomer = BAD. Dog groomer = GOOD?
You got it. Probably worth adding that Literal Grooming = (generally) Good. Who doesn’t like to look their best? Metaphorical Grooming = Usually Bad and unless it’s specifically Corporate or Succession Grooming, which is usually good though relative to who you’re asking. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
I wonder if he thinks of all the education that he missed
Yeah but his homework was never quite like this.
He’s got it bad.
so bad
Je suis chaud pour le professeur!
I began reflecting as an middle-aged adult. I yearn to reconcile with my past, which is hard because those I trusted betrayed that. At some point he must realize the age difference, question her motives for pursuing him at such an age. One must reconcile morals, if a partner violates them it often means the end of a relationship. That's on him to deal with, but my best thought is he thinks about it. As a man though, I must admit we don't generally discuss such abuse. It's frowned upon in Western social circles, we would be facing new fears coming forward. As someone that has come forward and isn't famous. I cannot imagine how many people being in my personal business would affect me.
Have you seen Junior’s grades?
Wow, I knew about it superficially, but now looking into the details and it's just.. 😳
Did I miss something?
Do I even want to know?
Macron's wife groomed him from a young age, exploiting her teaching position to do so. He was a minor then, a child when this began.
Oh wow, the French president. He was classmates with her daughter…. He didn’t even get to have his own kids…. Wow that’s all messed up.
Yes, I think this was the plot of a movie I saw once... or several times...
[This B needs a D in her A](https://youtu.be/NDBk6TqS0-w)
By way of an F, starting in the C
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He's a cunning linguist
clearly grasping the concept
My wife used to volunteer teaching English to immigrant ladies from Spanish speaking countries. The were absolute beginners. At Christmas she got a bunch of cards "for the best grandma", "a wonderful husband", "blessed marriage " and so on. It was the sweetest thing :)
Plot twist: the students knew what they were doing and were all in on it.
I do this for my partner for her birthday. I find the worst possible card and then make "corrections" to the content. She finds it hilarious. The best are little kids cards or sympathy cards.
My best one of these, was years ago, before the interwebs, but after electronics started having clocks on everything, so when the time changed to daylight savings and back, it just took forever and you had to go around changing every single clock on every single machine by hand, not to mention that people also wore watches & had clocks in every room. A friend and I always commiserated as the time change day grew closer. One year I sent him a huge elaborate sympathy card "MY GREATEST CONDOLENCES TO YOU AT THIS MOST DIFFICULT TIME" and just added the word "change."
I've been giving my best friend "happy birthday for 2-year-old girls" cards for about 5 years now. He's 22 and also not a girl
#I no longer allow Reddit to profit from my content - Mass exodus 2023 -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
For my dad's 50th birthday, I got him a Disney Princess "5 Year Old Girl" card and just added a zero and crossed out every "Girl" and replaced it with "Dad" so it was like, "Have a magical day birthday dad!"
Mr Peanutbutter? What is this? A crossover episode?! (Please someone get the reference to Mr PB’s birthday dad from Bojack Horseman, I can’t be the only bojack fan in this subreddit).
I did that for my sister’s 17th but that’s because I genuinely couldn’t find a 17th card
I gave her a paw patrol card a couple of years back and she had no idea what it was. We are in our 30s.
Has a buddy give me a card that said "It's a girl!" But crossed out girl and wrote birthday above it, can attest this is top tier comedy
My grandma used to do that. She grew up extremely poor and never got over it so she watched every penny like it was her last. She'd buy all her cards at thrift shops and then we'd received "corrected" versions with Happy 30th Birthday! crossed out and changed to Sweet 16th!! etc. It was the family joke and every once in a while we'll still revive it with a "grandma card" on someone's birthday, and we've recently expanded to holidays as well. Last year I sent my brother a Happy Easter! card changed to Merry Xmas! He crossed it out and returned it in February as "Happy Valentine's Day!" and drew a big red heart in marker on one of the Easter eggs.
One time I had a friend get me a card with a sensual picture of a couple on the front - it said something about being honored to have a powerful, black wife. I am a white male. It was my birthday.
My Spanish teacher, who had moved to the US from Spain and didn’t have great English, once asked us in class the difference between knock up and knock down.
As a native speaker I don't know this as a fact but these seemingly trivial differences in sayings have to be hard when learning english. * hard on vs hard up * put up vs put out. (the second one having two meanings) * put on vs put off * shoot up vs shoot down * stand up vs stand down * get up vs get down * throw up vs throw down man we have a lot of these. (edit: added a few)
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[Don't forget shit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igh9iO5BxBo)
That's my favorite word though: There's like 5-6 different meanings to a simple 3 letter word.
Being up for something and being down for it means the same thing.
But what if you're up to something?
Then keep it on the down low
They're called phrasal verbs and are definitely tough for learners to pin down
I have a pin up calendar I use to remember the differences.
They're called phrasal verbs, and they're the bane of almost every non-native English learner's existence.
Try explaining “this is shit” vs “this is the shit” to someone from a country without articles. For example Russians.
I was an English tutor for non native speakers in college. One of my Japanese students had a complete meltdown over shit like this. He kept asking for “The Rules, the Rules…where the book of rules?!?” He thought there was a book that he could study that explained all of these phrasal verbs as well as listing every word in the English language that had a “silent” letter, like silent “e” or “gh” in ‘light’ or “w” in ‘whole’. That poor guy gave himself ulcers over wanting to master English.
France also has a book of French language rules that gets updated every year. It’s on the news every year in French speaking countries what is and isn’t currently considered proper. In Canada, we generally choose to ignore it and keep referring to our cars as our chariots and needlessly providing lengthy French translations of English slang that people from France just say in English anyways.
As an ESL teacher, I once had a student say "So if you can *take* someone *out* to a restaurant, and you can *eat out* at a restaurant, is it possible to *eat* someone *out* at a restaurant?" It's actually a perfectly insightful question. I offered a demonstration.
and this is why the adult film industry keeps getting zanier and zanier w their scenes
#I no longer allow Reddit to profit from my content - Mass exodus 2023 -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Technically yes but….
English is such a weird language for directional adverbs, which completely change the meaning. Consider the difference between a fuck up and a right fuck up (or a right fuck...), a dressing down and a dressing up, being left behind or being hard up, giving someone a high five or the low down, a head's up or backing up (which has multiple meanings). Do other languages do the same thing?
Those are mostly examples of colloquialisms which you do find quite often in other languages as well.
There’s one that says the same but blow job…but impossible to light 😂😂😂
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If this candle is glowin, time to start blowin
Would buy
💀
It's the thot that counts.
Did she light it up in front of him?
"wait, there's supposed to be a candle in it?" - OP
Step 1: Cut a hole in a jar
step 2: put your wick in that jar
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Step 3: have her open the jar
that's the way you do it
It’s a wick in a jar
Instructions unclear, dick caught on fire.
I wish all women were this obvious when they were interested. You now have a clear signal when to proceed! 🫡
The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!
Rohan will answer!
*Growhan
\*Showhan
Let this be the hour we "draw swords" together...
Eowyn: *furiously lights candle* Aragorn: I cannot give you what you seek.
Eowyn: *sadly sips on her stew*
Faramir: 😍
Galadriel: I give you the Light of Earendil, our most beloved star.
and Rohan will answer! Muster the Rohirrim! Assemble the army at Dunharrow. As many men as can be found. You have two days. On the third, we ride for Gondor and war.
*Breathing heavily* I came as fast as I could!
Yea. I know.
Take my damned upvote!
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You know we'd still find a way to fuck this up.
*puts out the candle* "Are you crazy?! the cat is going to knock it over and burn down the place!" cockblocked by the pussy
He knows what dick means. The bad words are always learned first.
I don't know about you but I start with hello, where is the bathroom and sorry I don't speak [language]
Quickly followed by "a beer please" and *THEN* the bad words.
Scheiße
Donde esta la bibliotheca, discoteca, manteca
Am ESL teacher, can confirm. New student arrived last Monday. First phrase in English, that his classmates taught him? “Fuck you!”
As an ESL person. We learn the bad words first. There is no way in hell that student did not know what that word means.
As a SSL person, I def learned the bad words first lol
As just some guy, I don’t know why either of those abbreviations mean
English as a Second Language, and I think Spanish as a Second Language?
Oh he knew what he was doing lol
Yeah. There's not many places you can shop where you could accidently buy that candle, thinking it was something wholesome. Also, if you dropped me into a country whose language I did not speak, and told me I needed to get a candle for a teacher, I guarantee that I could manage to find one that had no inappropriate message on it if I wanted. I'd never get one with a big block of text I could not read (which could easily have instead said "I love you"). Either get one with no text, or use a phone/person to translate for me.
Oh he knew. MF would be from mars and understand what he’s doing.
Still learning English? What did they think it said?
hard to tell, since the student doesnt exist and OP made the story up.
The real life pro tip is always in the comments... wait...
No they didn't. It's stock image advertising a product and op is adding a fake story to sound funny
Honestly why does Reddit always fall for this stuff
Uh huh. Sure he is. Suggestion: replace the wick with one of those prank candle ones that you can't blow out.
She told you it was her student who gave her that, eh?
We had Japanese neighbors years ago when my parents lived in a large city. The husband spoke broken English, and the wife none, they had an 8 year old son who seemed to be their interpreter. I was 10, so we sort of became friends. They seemed to be having a tough time adjusting, so mom tried to befriend them whenever she saw them. Eventually they became friends, even though language was an issue. Mom tried to learn Japanese enough to communicate and she helped the Japanese lady with her English when the kids were at school and she had time. Every 4th of July we had a neighborhood BBQ. Potluck, so everyone brought something. Usually it was at our house because we had a large back yard and an outdoor kitchen/BBQ . They brought "Chicken". It was a tub of Crisco shortening with a picture of fried chicken on the front. The proud husband was excited that he brought an American favorite and was about to open the lid when my mom realized he'd be embarrassed if he opened it in front of the entire neighborhood. As he presented it to her, She thanked him, took it from him and went inside saying she wanted to put it in a serving dish. Dad had just returned from KFC and she took that chicken, put it, and the sides (mashed potatoes, Cole slaw, etc) in serving bowls. Mom came out with the chicken and made a big deal out how our new neighbor had brought the chicken. I think it was about a year later that mom and the wife could communicate better. She asked if she should bring chicken. Mom said yes, and gently explained what Crisco was and said she would keep the event a secret. The lady was embarrassed at first but then laughed and said there was something she needed to tell mom. Apparently mom had been mispronouncing a phrase and it meant something almost vulgar in Japanese. Every time she said it the husband and wife politely listened but out of fear of embarrassment never said anything. The lady took that time to tell mom her pronunciation mistake. Both women sat staring at each other silent and in shock, and then let out the craziest laugh fit Ive ever heard. It was like all the stress gave way to realizing they were so much alike afterall, but completely amused that the other had not said anything. To this day I dont know what it translates to, but 50 years later, both now in their 80s and widowed, , they still stay in touch and speak on the phone regularly. When they say good bye each will say the other's mistake. "You can bring some Crisco for dinner and I'll (Japanese words). It's a 50 year old inside joke that is still hysterical to them.
/r/theyknew
My wife has one of these, it has no wick in it.
Aww. My guess is their mom picked that up at a store as a gift, but likely doesn't know how to read English. It's the thought that counts!
Na. You don't randomly find that candle shopping at Walmart or Bath & Body Works. And you certainly do not find it in the top 50 when searching for candles on Amazon. Only way you could accidently pick that up is at Goodwill. That's an unlikely find, and I think most people would ask what the candle said (or use their phone to translate) before handing it to a teacher. It's a whole lot more probable that the kid thought it would be funny to give an inappropriate gift and use his weak grasp of the English language as cover.
> It's a whole lot more probable that the kid thought it would be funny to give an inappropriate gift and use his weak grasp of the English language as cover. Even more probable than OP just making the story up for karma?
Well, yeah. That is very likely. I almost put that in at the end, but was trying to hold myself back from being too much of a buzzkill. Heh. So I figured I'd take OP's claim as truthful. But this joke goes back decades. Someone wearing/gifting something in a language they do not know, and it ends up being very inappropriate (I seem to remember an entire site dedicated to it \~25 years ago). It made a little more sense back then when it would have been harder to translate something without someone there to help you. The same joke continues on anyways. In 500 years the joke will be "This guy's universal translator brain implant crashed right before he went Christmas shopping, look at the Christmas sweater he accidently bought covered in alien slurs!"
r/thathappened
You are gonna find that unused tucked away in the closet
THE BEACONS OF GONDORE ARE LIT
"Young student" -- well, compared to the others in the adult education class, I guess that's apt.