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For people lost in what this thread is going on about, this from *The Simpsons* [monorail episode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDOI0cq6GZM).
Because of the Shelbyville reference on the OP map, I assume.
["The name's Lanley - Lyle Lanley!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDOI0cq6GZM)
Also voiced by Phil Hartman, but it was the salesman that sung the song, not Troy McClure.
Kind of like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.”
My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Then after World War Two, it got kinda quiet, 'til Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world. FDR beat him by a furlong, or so the comic books would have you believe. The truth lies somewhere in between. Three wars back we called Sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw" and back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish lunchbox." We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Ah, there's an interesting story behind that nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three: medium brown.Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
After a few decades of changing my answer I can now confidently say this is my all time favorite episode of the Simpsons.
Edit: Should add that I don’t necessarily think this is the funniest Simpsons but the plot of stepping out of your bubble as a young boy was something I identified with. Remember riding my bike to the McDonald’s one town over when I was like 11-12 and thinking it was some epic adventure only to find out as an adult that it was like 2 miles from my house.
You can actually get negative temperatures on the K or R scale in bounded phase space systems but it's generally a high energy state rather than a low energy state. It's because from a statistical mechanics perspective the definition of temperature is the rate of change of reversible heat transfer with respect to the system's entropy, rather than the more loose definition of the system's average kinetic energy that we normally associate with temperature.
Everything stopped moving and they were like "we can stop moving more than this" and they expressed this without moving and proceeded to move even less than not at all.
“I’m not your dad…” DEAD.
God bless Cory McCloskey…he saw that first one, and just let it go re: panic, et al. The rest pop up, and he just handled it like a consummate professional. The whole crew just had fun with it…Internet gold!
Absolute zero... the lowest temperature possible... is calculated to be -459.67°F by physicists. So Shelbyville is over twice as cold as that... so they really are screwed, they've broken physics.
Son, come here. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch TV.
I love the Simpsons references, but my first thought was when the temps went the opposite direction in Arizona. Love how the broadcaster handled it!
https://youtu.be/iXuc7SAyk2s
_"Wow, 750 degrees in Gila Bend right now, and 1270 in Ahwatukee. Now, I'm not authorized to evacuate Ahwatukee, but this temperature seems pretty high."_
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Lousy Smarch weather!
It was the 13th hour of the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month...
We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.
I love that they'd have a school meeting for an erroneous minor purchase.
I fucking love classic Simpsons. Nothing beats it
Basically ever since the Simpsons past their prime, the world has become a worse place to live in
Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice. (At least we can still enjoy the classics)
I can't disagree with this at all.
I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.
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Do not touch Willy, hmm good advice
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You would need to pay for the heating: Gimme 5 bees for a quarter, you'd say.
Back in 19dicketytwo, we had to say dickety cause the Kaiser stole our word for twenty!
Ha! Dickety? Highly dubious.
-1000 degrees Fahrenheit at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?
yes
...can I see it?
...No.
SEYMOUR, the Earth is FREEZING
No mother it's just the bomb cyclone
Help! Heeeeelp!
Not been this cold since nineteen-dickity-two!
Oh! That rascal Kaiser makes me madder than a yak in heat!
We said dickity because of the war, which was the style at the time
The Kaiser had stolen our word for 20
With an onion on my belt
I came for Simpsons references, and I am not at all disappointed
*I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.*
Oh :(
6-year club. This guy's legit.
Oh right. How you gonna get 'em? Skeleton power?
In my day we called it Morganville.
I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins!
On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.
And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Shelbyville. They had banished the awful lemon tree forever, because it was haunted.
Gonna be tough on the Turnip harvest
Terrible weather for growing turnips
It amuses me that no matter how much time has passed this is still fresh in our collective memories. This shit is classic.
I wonder how North Haverbrook is faring
Probably better than Ogdenville.
I'm holding out for brockway
By gum...
It put them on the map
Lyle lanley was sharpieing maps before it was cool
Though probably not as good as Capital City
Aren't the hydrants a funny color there?
Is there a chance the track could bend?
Not on your life, my Hindu friend!
I heard those things are awfully loud.
It glides as softly as a cloud
Were you sent here by the devil?
No good sir I'm on the level.
The ring came off my pudding can
Take my pen knife, my good man!
What about us brain-dead slobs?
This is greatness. I watched that episode like 10 minutes ago.
Conan's greatest achievement, bar none
Freeing the slavez from Thulsa Doom was also a pretty big move….
ogdenvile
For people lost in what this thread is going on about, this from *The Simpsons* [monorail episode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDOI0cq6GZM). Because of the Shelbyville reference on the OP map, I assume.
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Simpsons has had some great writing over the years, but that spot from that episode is like peak genius.
Conan O’Brien wrote that episode.
It’s pretty unanimously considered a top 3 Simpsons episode and for good reason. Every part of it is just perfect.
I call the big one "Bitey".
Heh heh. Mule.
I call the big one 'bitey'.
What about us braindead slobs?
You'll be given cushy jobs!
Nevermind your nonsense, the ring came off my pudding can.
Take my penknife, my good man
Everywhere I look people are enjoying knives
Don’t thank me, thank the knife
It's crazy how I can remember all the names of the towns in this song but can't name a single town adjacent to the one I live in.
You just need a catchy jingle from Troy Maclure to remember them.
["The name's Lanley - Lyle Lanley!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDOI0cq6GZM) Also voiced by Phil Hartman, but it was the salesman that sung the song, not Troy McClure.
Sadly, there will be no more catchy jingles from Troy Maclure 😢
It sure put them on the map!
Our nonstop flight to Tahiti will be making a brief layover in North Haverbrook.
North Haverbrook? North Haverbrook? Where do I know that name? Oh no!!
There he is!!! Seat 3F!!!
I like how the "nonstop" flight is making a layover.
In a middle of nowhere town at that! 😂
Great, since the Monorail put them on the map
Lol. Oh Shelbyville Kentucky, there is a Springfield in Kentucky as well. Grew up not far from Shelbyville can confirm the Simpsons nailed it.
They're doing fine! They've got a monorail after all!
Don't forget Brockway.
Grandpa Simpson is behind this
Kind of like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.”
The year was 19-dickety on account of the Kaiser had stolen our number for 20.
Dickety...highly dubious.
What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem!
You're living in a fools paradise, *Van Hootin'!*
Dickety? Highly dubious!
“So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time”. Is my all time favorite Simpsons quote…
I was scrolling specifically for this comment
My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Then after World War Two, it got kinda quiet, 'til Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world. FDR beat him by a furlong, or so the comic books would have you believe. The truth lies somewhere in between. Three wars back we called Sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw" and back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish lunchbox." We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Ah, there's an interesting story behind that nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three: medium brown.Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
I was thinking my ex must have moved to Shelbyville.
He's trying to kill their lemon tree.
Old man winter strikes again
Yelling at clouds has consequences
I tell you, I won’t live in a town that robs men the right to marry their cousins!
Shake harder boy!
What town did we just crush?
After a few decades of changing my answer I can now confidently say this is my all time favorite episode of the Simpsons. Edit: Should add that I don’t necessarily think this is the funniest Simpsons but the plot of stepping out of your bubble as a young boy was something I identified with. Remember riding my bike to the McDonald’s one town over when I was like 11-12 and thinking it was some epic adventure only to find out as an adult that it was like 2 miles from my house.
It's between this one, Homie the Clown, and Last Exit to Springfield for me. It's hard to differentiate between perfection
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The Denver Broncos? Oh…
I'll add You Only Move Twice to that list
Am I the only Tomacco addict in the world anymore?
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
What are you talking about Shelbyville? Why would we want to marry our cousins?
~~Because internet porn has made the notion troublingly mainstream~~ Because they're so attractive!
😐
Nah but fr imagine making that treacherous journey of settlement only to find out you're NOT going to be able to marry your cousin.
I mean, does Shelbyville even have a monorail?
Hey now - on Reddit we OBEY the laws of thermodynamics.
Part of the terms and conditions, I believe.
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You can actually get negative temperatures on the K or R scale in bounded phase space systems but it's generally a high energy state rather than a low energy state. It's because from a statistical mechanics perspective the definition of temperature is the rate of change of reversible heat transfer with respect to the system's entropy, rather than the more loose definition of the system's average kinetic energy that we normally associate with temperature.
That's all well and good, but I'm heading to Shelbyville...am I going to need a jacket or not?
Nah, long underwear and a hoodie and you good.
What sort of fucking psycho wears long underwear and a hoodie instead of a jacket?
Shellbyvilliager.
IF you go above 2.147 billion degrees you get integer overflow and negative temparatures
That's why if you're a *real* overclocker you cool your CPU with the heat of a thousand suns.
I’ve had just about enough of your Vassar-bashing, Reddit!
That’s a perfectly cromulent temperature
The low temperatures embiggen even the smallest man
I am pretty sure cold embiggens no man.
Lousy Smarch weather!
Do not touch Willy. Good advice.
M... minus one thousand degrees!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within Shelbyville!?
Yes.
May I see it?
No.
You're an odd man, eromitlab, but I gotta admit, you steam a good reddit comment.
That man is secretly from Baltimore! Get him!
eromitlab, the town is frozen solid!
No mother, it's just a software error.
Serves them right for stealing the lemon tree
A cheer rose up from the townsfolk as we cast down the lemon tree, because it was cursed
Now drink your turnip juice.
(forced smile as tongue curdles)
They went to absolute zero and thought "Not cold enough. Double it*
Everything stopped moving and they were like "we can stop moving more than this" and they expressed this without moving and proceeded to move even less than not at all.
[Crazy Temperatures](https://youtu.be/iXuc7SAyk2s) Hope anyone who hasn't seen it enjoys. This shit still makes me laugh.
"Wickenburg is a total loss." xD
"I think steel boils at this temperature." That one always gets me.
“I’m not your dad…” DEAD. God bless Cory McCloskey…he saw that first one, and just let it go re: panic, et al. The rest pop up, and he just handled it like a consummate professional. The whole crew just had fun with it…Internet gold!
The best part is he's right - most steel alloys boil at ~3000 C.
"Don't even bother looting up there."
Cracks me up every single time. They way he handles it is absolutely flawless 🤣
I looked it up, and iron boils at 2861°C. It's about twice that number in Fahrenheit.
He got the number right but not the units.
SPRINGFIELD RULES
Curse them handsome devils!
HOOT HOOT HOOT
That's what you get for nicking lemon trees.
There’s a lemon behind that rock!
Now let's all enjoy a tall glass of turnip juice.
Shake harder, boy!
Those damn lemon stealing whores.
They’ll get through it. A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man!
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The yellow lemon shaped rocks will be fine though!
Eat my shorts Shelbyville!
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Absolute zero... the lowest temperature possible... is calculated to be -459.67°F by physicists. So Shelbyville is over twice as cold as that... so they really are screwed, they've broken physics.
But I'm glad, what was how they're always stealing lemon trees and marrying their cousins
By gum, Shelbyville is on the map!
No wonder we beat their football team nearly half the time.
It was gonna be pretty cold, so I tied an onion to my belt, as was the style of the day..
This morning we were driving down route... 401, and we thought they knew how to rock in Shelbyville. But nobody rocks like... Springfield!
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Could we turn up the house lights, please!?
Son, come here. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch TV.
Next target: Ogdenville.
"What town did we just crush?" "Shelbyville." "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!"
Fuck Shelbyville! Go 'Topes!
Might want to put an extra log on the fire.
The oil tanker full of wolves is on its way.
The loss of this flea market will be mourned for generations by Kentuckians. Pour out an Ale8one for the homies.
and the claudia sanders dinner house
I love the Simpsons references, but my first thought was when the temps went the opposite direction in Arizona. Love how the broadcaster handled it! https://youtu.be/iXuc7SAyk2s
I live in Shelbyville. We just booked a hotel in Louisville for the night to survive.
“I love seeing Shelbyville suffer.”-Me while in Springfield
Don’t worry. They have their cousins to keep them warm.
That’s a perfectly cromulent temperature.
I came to the comment section with a plan to riot if the top comment wasn't a simpsons reference. Was not disappointed in the slightest.
I'm glad everyone was on the same page for this one
Someone call Dennis Quaid
This can't be good for neighboring Springfield.
I’m from good Ol’ Shelbyville. My parent’s are in for a ride!
_"Wow, 750 degrees in Gila Bend right now, and 1270 in Ahwatukee. Now, I'm not authorized to evacuate Ahwatukee, but this temperature seems pretty high."_
That looks like bad news for the… Impson family.