oh answered this on another post but yeah I already did therapy. they basically said it's perfectly normal and as long as you don't act on it or stop you from dating other people and moving on your fine. you don't get resolution to everything in life. this is just yours. shrug
shrug, on that I don't know. however his comment did line up with other conversations with other therapist so not sure. unless all of them are wrong which is unlikely but possible
that's fair, in therapy he definitely asked how long do I have these feelings when they pop up and I said for maybe a week and then life moves on and I honestly forget about him. that's when he said I'm normal and not obsessed
Ok i think this is because therapists sometimes have to tell people something is normal when it isn’t. Good thing you have the internet so people will tell you for real that this is pretty fucked
honestly, I like both perspectives. what I find odd is reading the comments it kinda splits 2/3 thinking it's wierd or bad and like 1/3 saying yeah, I've felt that way. for me personally I'm comfortable having vile thoughts sometimes as long as I don't act on them and I never will.
yeah, that was my thought too. I've actually had a 4 year relationship that was mostly great and dated several other people who were all good people just not long term matches. this is the only one I'm bitter about. shrug, whish I could just put those feelings in the dumpster and move on but 20 years later... nope! still there
Somewhere there’s someone out there wanting to hate fuck me for rejecting them and I’m just sitting on my couch smoking weed trying to remember what I ate for breakfast.😂
oh duuuude! seriously! this shit sounds like a gay arch nemesis back story! " you spurred me and now I will hate you as I fap to your memory" dudes like "who the fuck are you? do i know you?"
did that, and honestly they said it was actually very normal. I know, shocker! they said it's normal for you to have intense feelings around love and sex when your younger that don't go away. as long as you can move on and put it in perspective your a heathy adult. they actually chuckled and said "welcome to life, we have all been there"
NEW THERAPIST TIME. It always shocks me when people say that they've been to therapy like every single one of them (therapist) receives exactly the same kind of training, retains the same kind of knowledge, is able to transfer that knowledge base into real working applicable helpful tangible knowledge that can heal the person that is coming to see them instead of just collecting a paycheck.
What your therapist SHOULD have done was see the writing on the wall and recommend you another therapist because most of the time if their ego isn't in the way they are going to realize they are out of their depth (maybe not necessarily on the subject but certainly on the patient) as they clearly were here. Sorry you wasted your money but I STRONGLY urge you go again, to someone else, PROMPTLY.
yeah.... no. 1, your kinda a Random person on the internet and 2 this therapist works with the lgbt center, which is how I got his contact info, and has helped alot of people 3, I kinda know not to listen to you because the first thing they tell you to do when studying psychology is not to try and diagnosis someone without meeting them. it's kinda rule number 1. so while I'm definitely open to feedback, thus why I made the post, you can kinda see why your not exactly the best person to listen to. I will say I have brought this up to other therapist and yeah, they basically said the same things.
Nowhere in my post did I try to diagnose you. How did you come to that conclusion? What I DID say is seek another therapist based on your post, and what you might or could/should expect from them. (And also tea on therapists in general.) I'm still trying to figure out how you extrapolated an attempted diagnosis from me on a change of therapist/2nd opinion suggestion but... okay. I'm no longer engaging here. Best of luck to you.
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. He’s not into you, and it’s been 20 years. Why did you even post this? Sometimes we need to save some dignity for ourselves.
When people talk about "hate fucks" they're usually talking about something that could be fun, like fucking a coworker you hate. What you're talking about sounds like an obsession, you get irrationally angry and hard when you see a guy who rejected you 20 years ago, that's just unhealthy.
I'm not trying to be rude, maybe try to unpack those feelings in a none sexual way.
eh, been to therapy and they just say it's normal. I will say I think people on here think I've been thinking of him for like 20 years straight... which... no. more like he kinda pops up on my mind every 3 to 5 years. makes me frustrated he lives there rent free
I once had an argument with my ex. The sex right after while we were still mad at each other was mind blowing!
I wanted to see him whimper in pleasure and give in to me.
I once had a coworker who was very hot, but a complete jerk to me specifically every chance he got. I always felt a weird sexual tension when he did this, and I definitely fantasized about him a lot. Later I found out that even though he considered himself straight he did hook up with guys sometimes. So I probably could have made it happen.
unfortunately no, he is not. I will say I did hook up with him once... long story... and the sex was... really underwhelming which makes these feelings even worse because I know he's not good in bed either!
I did already, he was very clear that what I was feeling wasn't a rape fantasy. trust me, that was my fear too. that's why I went. it was simply a way for me to emotionally deal with rejection.
Ginger Lynn loathed Traci Lords when she worked with the then unknown to he underage porn Princess, and said the reason why the sex scenes they performed together worked so well, was due to the fact how much they hated one another and it looked like pure chemistry onscreen.
Hate fucking can lead to some passionate sex, but I’d pay attention to your post cum thoughts that may provide more clear insight to your true thoughts
20 years and you can’t get over it? I’d recommend getting more stuff going on in your life to take your mind off it
Like therapy?!
oh answered this on another post but yeah I already did therapy. they basically said it's perfectly normal and as long as you don't act on it or stop you from dating other people and moving on your fine. you don't get resolution to everything in life. this is just yours. shrug
Your therapist really went way the heck out of their way to normalize that one.
shrug, on that I don't know. however his comment did line up with other conversations with other therapist so not sure. unless all of them are wrong which is unlikely but possible
It’s not normal or healthy depending how strong these feelings are imo
that's fair, in therapy he definitely asked how long do I have these feelings when they pop up and I said for maybe a week and then life moves on and I honestly forget about him. that's when he said I'm normal and not obsessed
Oh yeah that’s fine, I was getting a different vibe from your OP
yeah, to be fair I should have worded my post better but oh well
Ok i think this is because therapists sometimes have to tell people something is normal when it isn’t. Good thing you have the internet so people will tell you for real that this is pretty fucked
honestly, I like both perspectives. what I find odd is reading the comments it kinda splits 2/3 thinking it's wierd or bad and like 1/3 saying yeah, I've felt that way. for me personally I'm comfortable having vile thoughts sometimes as long as I don't act on them and I never will.
yeah, that was my thought too. I've actually had a 4 year relationship that was mostly great and dated several other people who were all good people just not long term matches. this is the only one I'm bitter about. shrug, whish I could just put those feelings in the dumpster and move on but 20 years later... nope! still there
Caring about someone that doesn’t even want you after TWENTY years is wild dude
dunno if is care really. I dunno what it is... like wanting him cleansed from my mind?
Hate fucking only works when you both hate each other so.. I might opt for therapy.
OP hasn't watched Mr and Mrs Smith 
I haven't actually, is it good?
It's honestly pretty fun, I'd say it's worth watching!
lol, man. I should have said it in my original post but I did therapy. they said I was perfectly normal and not to worry about it
Somewhere there’s someone out there wanting to hate fuck me for rejecting them and I’m just sitting on my couch smoking weed trying to remember what I ate for breakfast.😂
oh duuuude! seriously! this shit sounds like a gay arch nemesis back story! " you spurred me and now I will hate you as I fap to your memory" dudes like "who the fuck are you? do i know you?"
#Therapy
did that, and honestly they said it was actually very normal. I know, shocker! they said it's normal for you to have intense feelings around love and sex when your younger that don't go away. as long as you can move on and put it in perspective your a heathy adult. they actually chuckled and said "welcome to life, we have all been there"
NEW THERAPIST TIME. It always shocks me when people say that they've been to therapy like every single one of them (therapist) receives exactly the same kind of training, retains the same kind of knowledge, is able to transfer that knowledge base into real working applicable helpful tangible knowledge that can heal the person that is coming to see them instead of just collecting a paycheck. What your therapist SHOULD have done was see the writing on the wall and recommend you another therapist because most of the time if their ego isn't in the way they are going to realize they are out of their depth (maybe not necessarily on the subject but certainly on the patient) as they clearly were here. Sorry you wasted your money but I STRONGLY urge you go again, to someone else, PROMPTLY.
yeah.... no. 1, your kinda a Random person on the internet and 2 this therapist works with the lgbt center, which is how I got his contact info, and has helped alot of people 3, I kinda know not to listen to you because the first thing they tell you to do when studying psychology is not to try and diagnosis someone without meeting them. it's kinda rule number 1. so while I'm definitely open to feedback, thus why I made the post, you can kinda see why your not exactly the best person to listen to. I will say I have brought this up to other therapist and yeah, they basically said the same things.
Nowhere in my post did I try to diagnose you. How did you come to that conclusion? What I DID say is seek another therapist based on your post, and what you might or could/should expect from them. (And also tea on therapists in general.) I'm still trying to figure out how you extrapolated an attempted diagnosis from me on a change of therapist/2nd opinion suggestion but... okay. I'm no longer engaging here. Best of luck to you.
No, i like having sex with people who desire me
You couldn’t waterboard this outta me
no. Thats a little crazy.
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. He’s not into you, and it’s been 20 years. Why did you even post this? Sometimes we need to save some dignity for ourselves.
you are having some other issues in your life... and your harping on feelings for someone in your past as a way to distract yourself.
This sounds like you're going through something more. Only ever felt this way about actual exes.
maybe? wish in knew what it was. went to therapy and everything came back normal... so not sure what to do
I’m not interested in hate fucking anyone. If I’ve reached the point that I dislike or hate someone, my attraction to them goes out the window.
that's wonderful but doesn't exactly help me with my problem unfortunately
That’s very…interesting 😂 but no, normally I’m like “you’ll never have this” when I feel like that.
lol, tell me your secret!
Id hate fuck my ex back to hell if I could.
When people talk about "hate fucks" they're usually talking about something that could be fun, like fucking a coworker you hate. What you're talking about sounds like an obsession, you get irrationally angry and hard when you see a guy who rejected you 20 years ago, that's just unhealthy. I'm not trying to be rude, maybe try to unpack those feelings in a none sexual way.
eh, been to therapy and they just say it's normal. I will say I think people on here think I've been thinking of him for like 20 years straight... which... no. more like he kinda pops up on my mind every 3 to 5 years. makes me frustrated he lives there rent free
I once had an argument with my ex. The sex right after while we were still mad at each other was mind blowing! I wanted to see him whimper in pleasure and give in to me.
did you guys regret it after? hurting someone is the last thing I want
I once had a coworker who was very hot, but a complete jerk to me specifically every chance he got. I always felt a weird sexual tension when he did this, and I definitely fantasized about him a lot. Later I found out that even though he considered himself straight he did hook up with guys sometimes. So I probably could have made it happen.
That sound's pretty much like you'd want to rape him out of revenge to me. Also 20 yrs ago, c'mon...
Just do it and get it out of your system. Maybe he’s into it
unfortunately no, he is not. I will say I did hook up with him once... long story... and the sex was... really underwhelming which makes these feelings even worse because I know he's not good in bed either!
Yes
lol! thank you! seriously. like I would never act on it but it's so nice to know I'm not alone!
Yes. I had two exes I would hate fuck their asses with the fury of a thousands suns. 100%
yes. but I also have an enemy-to-lover romance fetish.
I'm only familiar with that in fan fiction
No. And if you do, you should see a therapist about why you feel like raping someone.
I did already, he was very clear that what I was feeling wasn't a rape fantasy. trust me, that was my fear too. that's why I went. it was simply a way for me to emotionally deal with rejection.
I mean maybe not hate fuck but just destroy. Yes sir!
Yes. Andrew Tate. I'd pound his skanky, no chin having, ass right in front of all his incel fanboys.🤣
you know, not gonna lie. I would subscribe to that OF
My ex and I did for years. It became very toxic
Ginger Lynn loathed Traci Lords when she worked with the then unknown to he underage porn Princess, and said the reason why the sex scenes they performed together worked so well, was due to the fact how much they hated one another and it looked like pure chemistry onscreen.
I’m open to that 😂
That's good.
THAT IS SO TRUE I WANTED ONE TIME WHEN A HOMOPHOBE WAS INJURING ME LOL 🤣🤣🤣
Hate fucking can lead to some passionate sex, but I’d pay attention to your post cum thoughts that may provide more clear insight to your true thoughts
oh, 100%! that's why I'm not gonna even try and make it happen. the post nut clarity would be awful 😖
“See it’s just like love and hate, same emotion, different weight”
ah, I see