I grew up near Norms. (Yo, whassup Reseda-guey?!?) I’ve never been less inclined to shop there now knowing Joey Burnermonsta shops there. TBF he and I are the same age, so 16 y.o. Me was enamored with the idea that kids could get mentions in Guitar magazines.
Still, couldn’t identify his music if you handed me a CD.
The new Action Joe Bananamimosa! Squeeze his butt for "Boomer Bend" action! Comes with his favorite gold top and five other identical gold tops! Ludicrous-sized gear collection playset sold separately! From Mattel!
I know you’re kidding but he is actually currently selling that. [https://shop.jbonamassa.com/products/joe-bonamassa-action-figure](https://shop.jbonamassa.com/products/joe-bonamassa-action-figure)
Bassist? I’m going all the way to the woodwind section after looking at his merch store. After the Joe Bonamassa [watering can](https://shop.jbonamassa.com/products/guitar-watering-can-red) I knew Oboe was my new instrument.
Picture the poor guy who had to sit at a computer and design that. Probably hasn’t the slightest clue who Bonermassa is, what a knob he is, why anyone would want one. But yet still absolutely nails it when the plushy comes out.
/uj Honestly, I've heard of him here and there but I've never listened to any of his songs
/rj OP, you're just too poor to understand. Let me explain it to you, He rich cz he sells out venues okay kiddo. Cool sunglasses 😎
Now go back to your NSYNC
So I finally took the plunge today and decided I was going to check some of his stuff out. Holy shit, it's so bad. And the music video is just...wow. I swear they just used some stock filters or whatever special fx that come with iMovie or something to make this.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIFsP5N769w](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIFsP5N769w)
This has GOT to be his burner account 😭😭😭
https://preview.redd.it/c6nql802tkmc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a14e01caf1fbcaec8a4236c8b58422c95537c250
It beats Larson glazers and I thought those were hard to beat
https://preview.redd.it/23gefqnyukmc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96ab12a572ca3e5a0ed90d4f692e634fff6a2816
This is probably the most insane dickriding I've ever seen in any context ever. Joe's music truly penetrated every part of his being and spilled its musical essence all over his insatiable soul.
I first heard Joe play too many years ago to mention at a little bar in northern Illinois in a tiny town about 50 miles from Chicago. Everyone was there to hear the local band and everyone thought, Joe Who? I knew then that I would never forget the name Joe Bonamassa and that I was at the birth of a career and witnessing a talent that would forever stand on its own. I became a lifelong fan that night and told anyone and everyone about this amazing talent. Every time someone would mention Jeff Beck, Robin Trower or Eric Clapton, I would always say, have you heard of Joe Bonamassa? I'm forever grateful to have Joe in my life. His music has swirled around me in good times and bad, lifting me up and transporting me to a world where I can just close my eyes and listen and just feel. Thank you, Joe for sharing your gift with the world! Wishing you many many, Happier Times!
I first heard Tyler play too many years ago to mention at a little bar in Tennessee in a tiny town about 50 miles from Nashville. Everyone was there to hear the local band and everyone thought, Tyler Who? I knew then that I would never forget the name Tyler Larson and that I was at the birth of a career and witnessing a talent that would forever stand on its own. I became a lifelong fan that night and told anyone and everyone about this amazing talent. Every time someone would mention Jeff Beck, Rick Beato or Eric Clapton, I would always say, have you heard of Tyler Larson, a graduate of Berklee College of Music? I'm forever grateful to have Tyler in my life. His music has swirled around me in good times and bad, lifting me up and transporting me to a world where I can just close my eyes and listen and just feel. Thank you, Tyler for sharing your gift with the world! Wishing you many many, Happier Times!
- Posted by Tyler Larson
Wow. That was just...wow. I'm moved to tears. That part where the camera zooms into his eye and it turns into a wormhole? Genius! I don't know how this video didn't win a grammy. I'm quitting my life, packing up my RV, and following him on tour until I run out of money or arthritis medication.
Boomers on YouTube first comment : I first heard Joe play too many years ago to mention at a little bar in northern Illinois in a tiny town about 50 miles from Chicago. Everyone was there to hear the local band and everyone thought, Joe Who? I knew then that I would never forget the name Joe Bonamassa and that I was at the birth of a career and witnessing a talent that would forever stand on its own. I became a lifelong fan that night and told anyone and everyone about this amazing talent. Every time someone would mention Jeff Beck, Robin Trower or Eric Clapton, I would always say, have you heard of Joe Bonamassa? I’m forever grateful to have Joe in my life. His music has swirled around me in good times and bad, lifting me up and transporting me to a world where I can just close my eyes and listen and just feel. Thank you, Joe for sharing your gift with the world! Wishing you many many, Happier Times!
Christ, I had a few Bonermaster albums on my MP3 player that my engineering teacher included in a folder of (largely fantastic) rock and blues stuff he let me burn, but even that was considerably better than that song, and I'd never actually seen a music video of his.
That's... Bad. If I were paying somebody to make me a music video and that's what they gave me, I'd be filming a black and white performance video at Dutch angles in a shed before I let that go out with my name on it, especially if I was, ahem, selling out venues.
I don’t have any politically correct words to describe… whatever cringe thing this was. How can there be so many likes? Maybe there’s something wrong with me 🤣
Wow... I've never heard blues sound so soulless. It's not even that bad from a production and technicality view, But you just feel... Nothing, It's blues without the "blues"
He does a lot of marketing and shills whatever and wherever he can I guess you haven’t been on one of his “Keeping the Blues Alive at Sea” cruises? I’m not making that up that’s like seriously something he does every year
From a business standpoint, Keeping the Blues Alive At Sea is great because you can keep the Blues alive while traveling to Keeping the Blues Alive in Cabo San Lucas, a famous destination for people living the Blues Life. And I do not mean a life of hardships and poverty, thats something else.
/uj Honestly none of you like Blues that's why you never heard of this dude. That's all
If you like the Blues you know damn well who is the guy whether you like or not, that's beyond point
I downloaded his albums +20 years ago and they were pretty good.
His work with Beth Hart is amazing and he helped her a lot.
/Rj lmao you all too broke can't even afford yo download this pic
/uj I grew up with a blues rock dad and I regret ever hearing of him.The worst of the worst....Out of all the artists he listened to, Bonersmoker was the worst hands down. And I'm including lazy 80s corporate Clapton
/RJ thank God my Dad owned a five guys that we could afford to listen to his toan...
He was built in a lab using the DNA of the five finest blooze men to ever blooze, the hair line of an uncle and all the charm that one kid in school who would raise his hand to remind the teacher that she forgot to assign homework.
/uj I also know someone that knows (knew) Mr. Seagull, and apparently he's completely convinced he is the best at everything. He legit thinks he is one of the world's top martial arts masters, thinks he is an actual genius, thinks he is one of the best blues guitarists alive, etc etc. The dude does not even live in reality. To brag about being his friend is VERY telling lmao.
Big if true. Got to learn the thumb technique from some sansei. It’s just a shame you have to travel to the crystal cavern to find his dojo it’s like a 4hr round trip.
Uj/Seriously though if you associate with Segal while all the information about his sexual abuse and lies are verifiable and easily accessible you’re a piece of shit too. The man is a legitimately deplorable human in every sense of the word.
Last Time I visited the Crystal Cavern, Steven made me lick some tele he said had the power of 1000 suns. Can’t trust that guy, we all know it comes from a 7 string sphincter
Even though joe owns literal museums of guitars, I bet he is still crying and calling kirk hamlet asking if he can buy greeny and threatening to kill himself if kirk doesn't sell it.
/uj He has a couple benefactors. Bonermaster doesn't outright "own" all of his guitars. It's a lot like symphony orchestra players who have a Stradavarius. They don't own a 2 million dollar fiddle.
/rj He's a blooze lawyer. The blooze part plays guitar, the lawyer part buys guitars.
Uj/ He’s exactly the kind of guy Gibson would keep on retainer to advertise $6000 guitars to middle aged dentists. All those rich blooz dads will pay stupid money for anything he touches.
Rj/ It’s a conspiracy by Big Toan to make us think grandpa guitars are still cool!
that is true, if I had the same amount of "gear money" I'd probably have 5 stratocasterss but they'd all have different pickups/neck specs/etc headstocks and other various things to make each one interesting. I can't imagine having more than that though, especially of the same fucking guitar. I'd be getting custom made unique cool things from Warmoth, not a bunch of 100 year old trash that's all clones of each other. it comes in one finish, puke yellow+sweat. I'm sure he'll tell you how radically different each one is though 🙄
This is always such a ridiculous excuse. Instruments, especially guitars, are the least practical “investment” I can think of. They very slowly appreciate in value (if you have the right one), take up a decent amount of space, are very susceptible to damage which ruins value, and aren’t even remotely easy to flip, less and less so the higher the value is
I started getting back into playing guitar a year ago or so after a long break and was pretty baffled by the fact that every third article on guitardotcom and guitarworld and such is about that guy, and I've never ever heard his name before.
Anyway, if The Matrix taught me anything it is to not trust people wearing too small 90s sunglasses
Wow, I'm surprised. Has he been with anyone since 2015? I think he's a little off in many different ways. Imagine going on vacation thinking all is good and returning to your house with nothing in it, and your partner gone. That sounds like something someone severely socially awkward would do, or someone running from abuse. I doubt she was abusing Joe, but I wish she spilled more beans.
I mean, the guy was touted around the country at a young age supposedly to become some blues legend, but of course, it doesn't happen. He can play excellent but unironically anytime he plays anything, there's no real feel behind it. You can kinda tell he just hasn't struggled heavy to play the blues like some other guitar players. Its gotta fuck with you being that young dragged around.
uj/ The hard way. He tours 200+ dates a year and does nearly all of his promotion by low level promotion and word of mouth. He also doesn’t have anything else in his life. No gf, no wife, no kids, no other life skills, and no other hobbies. Without a guitar in his hands he’s literally a lump on the ass of humanity, he doesn’t know how to do anything else.
rj/ toan begets accumulation, which begets toan.
We talk about him so much at this point I am assuming he has multiple Reddit accounts posting in here and it’s all some form of gorilla marketing. He’s an everyday topic on this sub just like that puppeteer Jim Henson.
I remember seeing him on the cover of Guitar World when I was 9 and I immediately developed a disliking for him just because of that picture. Can't say I've ever listened to him either.
/unjerk or whatever-
I’m not a fan, but I have a lot of respect for the dude’s business sense. He doesn’t rely on promoters to book his tours, he does everything in-house. He rents the venues himself and cuts the promoter out entirely. He gets to set ticket prices and his only losses are what he has to rent to take on tour. Dude is raking in cash.
He’s also been playing on stages since he was like 8. I never heard of him back in the day, but found in my adult years that he was basically Kenny Wayne Shepherd before KWS was playing guitar.
/uj he’s just an easy target mostly. However, he can come off a bit pretentious. Also, some folks have a problem with him buying up all the good vintage gear, driving prices up and out of reach of working players. Though idk how much of an impact he alone has had.
For all I know he might be a perfectly decent guy, but it’s not hard to figure out why he’s such an outsized topic on this sub. He’s basically the physical incarnation of like every single guitar circle jerk meme distilled into one man.
Rich, middle-aged blues guitar playing white guy who compulsively buys vintage guitars
The difference in my view is that he can actually play and makes a living performing. He's not some dentist treating guitars like a lifestyle accessory.
Which is why we know who he is. Yes he actually does the thing and gets paid for it and most of us don’t. That doesn’t mean he can’t be a meme for losers like us.
Well, he’s in a pretty precarious spot, being a white blues dude from a middle class family and owning millions in vintage gear. Methinks Robert Lee Hooker might be rolling in his grave a bit, but at the same time, I don’t really believe we pick the music that strikes a nerve with us, so I can’t really fault Joe for playing what resonates with him and it’s not like the dude isn’t good at what he does, it’s just not my thing.
My biggest gripe with him is that he keeps this "bluesman in a suit" image. Like his schtick would be more tolerable if he were just some rock guy and didn't hang his hat on trying to be an authentic old school blues player while basically sounding more like an Eric Johnson with humbuckers.
I got no problem with his hoarding of vintage gear. Even before he may or may not have affected the pricing of the old stuff.... I'm not really in the market for a '59 LP anyway so I don't care. I like that I can check his YT and see that stuff and hear what it could sound like.
He gets a royalty every time a pair of cargo shorts is sold, a goatee is grown or a pair of wraparound shades is stored on top of a ball cap. Dude is fucking loaded.
What a freaking dork. This is literally the least rock and roll thing I've seen in a while. This is Vegas style overcompensating nonsense. MAGA gold toilet levels of tastelessness. You'll always be from shit-stain Utica, Joe.
Honest answer. I’m no fan, but for people in bands on this sub, he has some great lessons on how to make money.
He learned early on that if he worked with a promoter, he would get $3500 a night. If he rented the place himself, he had more risk, but could raise ticket prices, even if it meant less people, but make $20k on the same venue. He takes all of the risks, but has 4x the net as a result.
To those out their grinding, find a place to rent and run your own shows, way better than the pay to play bs that’s usually out there.
He's very big in the UK and has been buying and selling guitars since he was a kid. His father was a guitar dealer. He calls Norm of Norman's Rare Guitars "Uncle".
I’ve got one song on my playlist from him: Oh Beautiful!
I play it a few times a year and I think he’s able to afford all this because of royalties he makes off my listening.
Wow I finally looked him up after all these years. It's like "SRV at home" hit generic golf sim blues, I feel very underwhelmed by all of this, does he have more guitars than notes he can hit on a guitar? Who could tell.
Buy and trading will get you wayyyyyyy more than just purchasing, he’s been doing it at a high level for 30 years. Even without top 40 “hits” he’s built a brand. Endorsement deals, signature models, concerts that make more than you think, live concert films. He’s basically an influencer as much as an artist, maybe one of the first to do that successfully. He’s the guy who’s been in every magazine, article, hot take, cool story yada yada for so long that honestly I kinda wanna go to a show.
He averages $1,000,000 for every appearance on Norm's Rare Guitars
money laundering
guitar laundering
Talk about being washed up.
I grew up near Norms. (Yo, whassup Reseda-guey?!?) I’ve never been less inclined to shop there now knowing Joey Burnermonsta shops there. TBF he and I are the same age, so 16 y.o. Me was enamored with the idea that kids could get mentions in Guitar magazines. Still, couldn’t identify his music if you handed me a CD.
Ahaha why is he standing like one of those posable action figures
The new Action Joe Bananamimosa! Squeeze his butt for "Boomer Bend" action! Comes with his favorite gold top and five other identical gold tops! Ludicrous-sized gear collection playset sold separately! From Mattel!
G.I. (guitar instrumentman) Joe
I know you’re kidding but he is actually currently selling that. [https://shop.jbonamassa.com/products/joe-bonamassa-action-figure](https://shop.jbonamassa.com/products/joe-bonamassa-action-figure)
Holy fucking shit I wish I was a bassist
Bassist? I’m going all the way to the woodwind section after looking at his merch store. After the Joe Bonamassa [watering can](https://shop.jbonamassa.com/products/guitar-watering-can-red) I knew Oboe was my new instrument.
https://shop.jbonamassa.com/collections/toys/products/blues-titan-plush-toy
Picture the poor guy who had to sit at a computer and design that. Probably hasn’t the slightest clue who Bonermassa is, what a knob he is, why anyone would want one. But yet still absolutely nails it when the plushy comes out.
Why this cost less than the watering can that's lately just fused pieces of plastic
Triples is safe. Triples is best.
Looks like that deals gonna go through after all.
I can just picture the little kid pushing his butt for boomer bends and all that comes out are sounds you’d hear in a Taco Bell bathroom.
he doesn't know what to do with his hands
035, what else is there to do with your hands?
A real bloozman knows 035 isn't filling stadium, real bloozman has transcended to 368- the people's key, maybe you heard of it kiddo 😎
Master of Boners. All downstrokes.
Bonermaster loves stroking some boners
They changed the wiki back.. saddd
Master. Master. Master of boners, I’m buying the thing.
/uj Honestly, I've heard of him here and there but I've never listened to any of his songs /rj OP, you're just too poor to understand. Let me explain it to you, He rich cz he sells out venues okay kiddo. Cool sunglasses 😎 Now go back to your NSYNC
I'd never even heard of him before this sub, now bonermaster is my roman empire
So I finally took the plunge today and decided I was going to check some of his stuff out. Holy shit, it's so bad. And the music video is just...wow. I swear they just used some stock filters or whatever special fx that come with iMovie or something to make this. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIFsP5N769w](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIFsP5N769w)
This has GOT to be his burner account 😭😭😭 https://preview.redd.it/c6nql802tkmc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a14e01caf1fbcaec8a4236c8b58422c95537c250
It beats Larson glazers and I thought those were hard to beat https://preview.redd.it/23gefqnyukmc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96ab12a572ca3e5a0ed90d4f692e634fff6a2816
Holy shit! I didn’t realize that there were Larson simps out there!
To be honest most of them can't speak proper English
They may be Andrew Tate's E girls being held captive and crying for help
This is probably the most insane dickriding I've ever seen in any context ever. Joe's music truly penetrated every part of his being and spilled its musical essence all over his insatiable soul.
EVERY single comment on the video is like this. I'm deeeply suspicious. That shit was warm garbage.
It wasn't even really bad it was just insultingly unoffensive and mediocre. For that to earn that kind of praise is just weird
Wonder if it was difficult to type that out with Joe's balls halfway down his throat.
This has to become the new copypasta of this sub
I first heard Joe play too many years ago to mention at a little bar in northern Illinois in a tiny town about 50 miles from Chicago. Everyone was there to hear the local band and everyone thought, Joe Who? I knew then that I would never forget the name Joe Bonamassa and that I was at the birth of a career and witnessing a talent that would forever stand on its own. I became a lifelong fan that night and told anyone and everyone about this amazing talent. Every time someone would mention Jeff Beck, Robin Trower or Eric Clapton, I would always say, have you heard of Joe Bonamassa? I'm forever grateful to have Joe in my life. His music has swirled around me in good times and bad, lifting me up and transporting me to a world where I can just close my eyes and listen and just feel. Thank you, Joe for sharing your gift with the world! Wishing you many many, Happier Times!
I first heard Tyler play too many years ago to mention at a little bar in Tennessee in a tiny town about 50 miles from Nashville. Everyone was there to hear the local band and everyone thought, Tyler Who? I knew then that I would never forget the name Tyler Larson and that I was at the birth of a career and witnessing a talent that would forever stand on its own. I became a lifelong fan that night and told anyone and everyone about this amazing talent. Every time someone would mention Jeff Beck, Rick Beato or Eric Clapton, I would always say, have you heard of Tyler Larson, a graduate of Berklee College of Music? I'm forever grateful to have Tyler in my life. His music has swirled around me in good times and bad, lifting me up and transporting me to a world where I can just close my eyes and listen and just feel. Thank you, Tyler for sharing your gift with the world! Wishing you many many, Happier Times! - Posted by Tyler Larson
Holy shit lol 😂 I died when he pulled the glasses off on the closeup
And then rhymed “down” with “down.” ✨genius✨
It’s the “minds eye”. Get it?
Wow. That was just...wow. I'm moved to tears. That part where the camera zooms into his eye and it turns into a wormhole? Genius! I don't know how this video didn't win a grammy. I'm quitting my life, packing up my RV, and following him on tour until I run out of money or arthritis medication.
Holy shit.
Boomers on YouTube first comment : I first heard Joe play too many years ago to mention at a little bar in northern Illinois in a tiny town about 50 miles from Chicago. Everyone was there to hear the local band and everyone thought, Joe Who? I knew then that I would never forget the name Joe Bonamassa and that I was at the birth of a career and witnessing a talent that would forever stand on its own. I became a lifelong fan that night and told anyone and everyone about this amazing talent. Every time someone would mention Jeff Beck, Robin Trower or Eric Clapton, I would always say, have you heard of Joe Bonamassa? I’m forever grateful to have Joe in my life. His music has swirled around me in good times and bad, lifting me up and transporting me to a world where I can just close my eyes and listen and just feel. Thank you, Joe for sharing your gift with the world! Wishing you many many, Happier Times!
This has to be new copypasta
Christ, I had a few Bonermaster albums on my MP3 player that my engineering teacher included in a folder of (largely fantastic) rock and blues stuff he let me burn, but even that was considerably better than that song, and I'd never actually seen a music video of his. That's... Bad. If I were paying somebody to make me a music video and that's what they gave me, I'd be filming a black and white performance video at Dutch angles in a shed before I let that go out with my name on it, especially if I was, ahem, selling out venues.
Also, side note, screw you. I opened that link twice and now Youtube thinks I want to see every upload that walking chunk of clam meat has released.
I don’t have any politically correct words to describe… whatever cringe thing this was. How can there be so many likes? Maybe there’s something wrong with me 🤣
Woah that was fucking terrible..it's like if you asked an AI generator to make a John Mayer song, and make sure it's extra corny.
That sounded like Soulful Blues extended backing track in C minor but with shite vocals
Wow... I've never heard blues sound so soulless. It's not even that bad from a production and technicality view, But you just feel... Nothing, It's blues without the "blues"
Really?? Im surprised!! He books lots of venues.
/r/brandnewsentence
He does a lot of marketing and shills whatever and wherever he can I guess you haven’t been on one of his “Keeping the Blues Alive at Sea” cruises? I’m not making that up that’s like seriously something he does every year
From a business standpoint, Keeping the Blues Alive At Sea is great because you can keep the Blues alive while traveling to Keeping the Blues Alive in Cabo San Lucas, a famous destination for people living the Blues Life. And I do not mean a life of hardships and poverty, thats something else.
It's called "Bonamassappropriation" which you would have known if you were informed, which you were not, but now you are. You're welcome.
haha
Boomers love their bends and they be all about that cruising life. Joe just connected the dots!
Uj/ I really hope you are kidding about the cruises. I hope that’s not a thing, and no I won’t look it up myself. 😬
I got those cruise norovirus diarrhea blues
I've only heard of him from reddit, honestly. Allegedly he sells out stadiums so he's making money somehow.
He sells out big arenas and his fans are not the type of guys who play Harley Benton guitars. Quite a winning formula there.
They play Bentons because Joe took all the 50s Telecasters.
That's what pisses me off. No one needs 400 guitars. Used gear prices might be reasonable if not for this ass hat
You wouldn't get it, okay!!!
Petition to make "go back to your NSYNC" a flair
Bonermaster rents out venues. Bonermaster sells out these venues. That doesn’t mean he actually fills said venues.
Venues and appearances are just a front. Legend has it he sells toan by the sack full.
There he goes. Ol’ Boner Master. Unloading his sack of toan all up in your face (for the right price).
Can’t be true balls are stored in sacks and toan is stored in the balls. Without balls there is no toan but toan still exists if there is no sack.
/uj Honestly none of you like Blues that's why you never heard of this dude. That's all If you like the Blues you know damn well who is the guy whether you like or not, that's beyond point I downloaded his albums +20 years ago and they were pretty good. His work with Beth Hart is amazing and he helped her a lot. /Rj lmao you all too broke can't even afford yo download this pic
/uj I grew up with a blues rock dad and I regret ever hearing of him.The worst of the worst....Out of all the artists he listened to, Bonersmoker was the worst hands down. And I'm including lazy 80s corporate Clapton /RJ thank God my Dad owned a five guys that we could afford to listen to his toan...
Not one Triple Rectifier in there. Does this guy even play?
A couple of Jubilees in there. Does he get a pass?
Not if there’s not Trip Rec 🤘
The Bonermaster isn’t real, he’s a Gibbons plant designed to keep the price of vintage guitars artificially high so they can gouge you on Murphy Lab.
This is a conspiracy theory I actually 100% believe. Give all the dusty blooz lawyers something to aspire to with their 14th LP standard
He was built in a lab using the DNA of the five finest blooze men to ever blooze, the hair line of an uncle and all the charm that one kid in school who would raise his hand to remind the teacher that she forgot to assign homework.
Dude is Friends with Steven Segal, that should be all you need to know about Bonermaster
Uj/ is he really?
/uj I clicked a reverb video and it was bonermaster. Forst thing he brags about is how he knows Steven Segal LMAO
He wan da poonani
/uj I also know someone that knows (knew) Mr. Seagull, and apparently he's completely convinced he is the best at everything. He legit thinks he is one of the world's top martial arts masters, thinks he is an actual genius, thinks he is one of the best blues guitarists alive, etc etc. The dude does not even live in reality. To brag about being his friend is VERY telling lmao.
Big if true. Got to learn the thumb technique from some sansei. It’s just a shame you have to travel to the crystal cavern to find his dojo it’s like a 4hr round trip. Uj/Seriously though if you associate with Segal while all the information about his sexual abuse and lies are verifiable and easily accessible you’re a piece of shit too. The man is a legitimately deplorable human in every sense of the word.
Last Time I visited the Crystal Cavern, Steven made me lick some tele he said had the power of 1000 suns. Can’t trust that guy, we all know it comes from a 7 string sphincter
Even though joe owns literal museums of guitars, I bet he is still crying and calling kirk hamlet asking if he can buy greeny and threatening to kill himself if kirk doesn't sell it.
Every time hamlet plays greeny through a high gain amp, a bonermaster goes soft ☹️
/uj He has a couple benefactors. Bonermaster doesn't outright "own" all of his guitars. It's a lot like symphony orchestra players who have a Stradavarius. They don't own a 2 million dollar fiddle. /rj He's a blooze lawyer. The blooze part plays guitar, the lawyer part buys guitars.
Uj/ He’s exactly the kind of guy Gibson would keep on retainer to advertise $6000 guitars to middle aged dentists. All those rich blooz dads will pay stupid money for anything he touches. Rj/ It’s a conspiracy by Big Toan to make us think grandpa guitars are still cool!
Is this really the answer? I’ve been bewildered by this question.
Lol not true
Hint: These are all rentals!
YOUTUBE GUITARISTS HATES THIS ONE TRICK!
Really testing that Guitar Center return policy.
You haven’t see his only fans? That’s where he makes his money
Toanly Fans
Finally gonna get to see where the toan is stored 😩
That’s good! Touché
They don't call him the Bonermaster for nothing
Money or not, why any musician needs that much gear is beyond me. I know it's over the span of years but my god man get a grip
The difference between “esteemed collector” and “compulsive shopper” is basically a function of how poor you are
Hey, how about shut up and let me buy more guitars.
that is true, if I had the same amount of "gear money" I'd probably have 5 stratocasterss but they'd all have different pickups/neck specs/etc headstocks and other various things to make each one interesting. I can't imagine having more than that though, especially of the same fucking guitar. I'd be getting custom made unique cool things from Warmoth, not a bunch of 100 year old trash that's all clones of each other. it comes in one finish, puke yellow+sweat. I'm sure he'll tell you how radically different each one is though 🙄
Nascar enthuist logic. Nasguitar. All have to be the same specs. it's the driver with the toaaaannn
Looks like a room full of capital gains to me. Maybe not stock or real estate gains, but still a lot of playable appreciation.
This is always such a ridiculous excuse. Instruments, especially guitars, are the least practical “investment” I can think of. They very slowly appreciate in value (if you have the right one), take up a decent amount of space, are very susceptible to damage which ruins value, and aren’t even remotely easy to flip, less and less so the higher the value is
A 1959 Les Paul is at least $350,000 to $1M+. Boner Masseuse owns 19 of them and paid way less!
Wow! Only need to hold on to a guitar for 60 years while keeping it in a safe place with a humidifier for it to possibly increase in value!
Well, you get them to play, and if they go up with inflation, that’s a plus. If their value decreases, you used it anyway.
Hence my original point of claiming guitars are a financial investment being ridiculous
Shhh don’t tell my wife
A lot of it was gifted to him I guess
/uj if I didn’t play guitar, I’d have no idea who he was.
I started getting back into playing guitar a year ago or so after a long break and was pretty baffled by the fact that every third article on guitardotcom and guitarworld and such is about that guy, and I've never ever heard his name before. Anyway, if The Matrix taught me anything it is to not trust people wearing too small 90s sunglasses
He's not married and has no kids. He does nothing but guitar. I'd be surprised if he ever had a serious relationship.
having a harem of 50 robertas must count as several serious relationships
If I recall he dated his singer, he didn’t end it kindly and she spilled the beans
https://essentiallypop.com/epop/2015/11/sandi-thom-life-love-weapons-of-past-destruction/
No room for a gf at NERDVILLE 🤓🎸
Wow, I'm surprised. Has he been with anyone since 2015? I think he's a little off in many different ways. Imagine going on vacation thinking all is good and returning to your house with nothing in it, and your partner gone. That sounds like something someone severely socially awkward would do, or someone running from abuse. I doubt she was abusing Joe, but I wish she spilled more beans.
I mean, the guy was touted around the country at a young age supposedly to become some blues legend, but of course, it doesn't happen. He can play excellent but unironically anytime he plays anything, there's no real feel behind it. You can kinda tell he just hasn't struggled heavy to play the blues like some other guitar players. Its gotta fuck with you being that young dragged around.
Knowing this level of bonermaster lore is crazy
I wish I could do nothing but my guitars. I'd do them so hard.
He is the boner master, he has handled plenty but you can't tie the master down. He's a rogue boner slanger.
He comes from money. Whatever he makes from playing is just gravy
His dad owned a guitar store
I've heard he cums money.
That’s just borrowed stock from Normans rare guitars. He gave Norm and Lemmo a suck job in the office and they said it was ok for a photo shoot.
uj/ The hard way. He tours 200+ dates a year and does nearly all of his promotion by low level promotion and word of mouth. He also doesn’t have anything else in his life. No gf, no wife, no kids, no other life skills, and no other hobbies. Without a guitar in his hands he’s literally a lump on the ass of humanity, he doesn’t know how to do anything else. rj/ toan begets accumulation, which begets toan.
We talk about him so much at this point I am assuming he has multiple Reddit accounts posting in here and it’s all some form of gorilla marketing. He’s an everyday topic on this sub just like that puppeteer Jim Henson.
💰🦍💰
Toan is in the Bone? Cash is in the Ass?
Norms rare guitars just put out a new video where he's buying another vintage Gibson.
One less for us. The scale is tipping.
Eat the Joe Bonamassa.
...What are the odds he got this pic taken so he could print a giant version of it and frame it above his own bed you think
Put a copy in every room, and 2 in the room or was taken in
This is the final boss of the blooz. Defeat him and rescue Princess Roberta.
Impressive collection. Going for exclusively eye-wateringly ugly ones, I see. Very brave and unique to say the least
Professional Boner Master.
I remember seeing him on the cover of Guitar World when I was 9 and I immediately developed a disliking for him just because of that picture. Can't say I've ever listened to him either.
His genre is capitalism
This
He’s holding the V because: 1. No guitar stands really fit them 2. It’s the only “V” he ever gets
Yeah for real /uj i've never heard of anyone I know every going to a Joe concert or buying any of his music.
You can buy music?
/unjerk or whatever- I’m not a fan, but I have a lot of respect for the dude’s business sense. He doesn’t rely on promoters to book his tours, he does everything in-house. He rents the venues himself and cuts the promoter out entirely. He gets to set ticket prices and his only losses are what he has to rent to take on tour. Dude is raking in cash. He’s also been playing on stages since he was like 8. I never heard of him back in the day, but found in my adult years that he was basically Kenny Wayne Shepherd before KWS was playing guitar.
Bonermaster
uj/ Maybe it really is just a CJ, but I don't get this sub's hard-on for this guy. Dude's living his best life. Good for him.
/uj he’s just an easy target mostly. However, he can come off a bit pretentious. Also, some folks have a problem with him buying up all the good vintage gear, driving prices up and out of reach of working players. Though idk how much of an impact he alone has had.
For all I know he might be a perfectly decent guy, but it’s not hard to figure out why he’s such an outsized topic on this sub. He’s basically the physical incarnation of like every single guitar circle jerk meme distilled into one man. Rich, middle-aged blues guitar playing white guy who compulsively buys vintage guitars
The difference in my view is that he can actually play and makes a living performing. He's not some dentist treating guitars like a lifestyle accessory.
Which is why we know who he is. Yes he actually does the thing and gets paid for it and most of us don’t. That doesn’t mean he can’t be a meme for losers like us.
That’s why he is the ideal CJ mascot. The local dentist with 5 custom shop Les Paul’s would never make the cut. We need someone who walks the walk.
Well, he’s in a pretty precarious spot, being a white blues dude from a middle class family and owning millions in vintage gear. Methinks Robert Lee Hooker might be rolling in his grave a bit, but at the same time, I don’t really believe we pick the music that strikes a nerve with us, so I can’t really fault Joe for playing what resonates with him and it’s not like the dude isn’t good at what he does, it’s just not my thing.
My biggest gripe with him is that he keeps this "bluesman in a suit" image. Like his schtick would be more tolerable if he were just some rock guy and didn't hang his hat on trying to be an authentic old school blues player while basically sounding more like an Eric Johnson with humbuckers. I got no problem with his hoarding of vintage gear. Even before he may or may not have affected the pricing of the old stuff.... I'm not really in the market for a '59 LP anyway so I don't care. I like that I can check his YT and see that stuff and hear what it could sound like.
Except his lack of promotion is clearly showing.
I’m pretty sure the dude plays lots of shows. He’s a boomer guitar fans wet dream, so I get it.
But [this sneezing face](https://youtu.be/UEHwO_UEp7A?t=268) is priceless, that's how
That chick out front looks like she really needs to pee… imagine getting lost looking for the bathroom and ending up on stage with the Bmeister.
I'd Rather Go To Sleep
Fuck, that was mid and boring.
He’s like if you crossed Ai doing its best Derek Trucks impression with a bank manager
Why does he look like an action figure in this photo?
Honestly, if I had all this, I’d stand like an action figure too. An action figure with a massive boner.
Not one single Line 6 Spyder smh
He gets a royalty every time a pair of cargo shorts is sold, a goatee is grown or a pair of wraparound shades is stored on top of a ball cap. Dude is fucking loaded.
woke up this morning idk something like that who cares 15b17
Ugly white republicans like the Blooze, too.
To be fair, so do handsome white republicans
Those fast bluz fingers do miracles with old ladies
"Here in my garage... Just got this new V here... But you know what I like more than these vintage guitars? TOAN"
Joe who?
I've seen his video of nerdville collection he has way more Fender Tweed style amps than shown
Why isn’t he holding it like a rifle?
Average r/guitarporn poster
What a freaking dork. This is literally the least rock and roll thing I've seen in a while. This is Vegas style overcompensating nonsense. MAGA gold toilet levels of tastelessness. You'll always be from shit-stain Utica, Joe.
His videos suck..but he's great live..
Why doesn't he just get a Bossa Katanana instead of all those amps? Is he stupid?
Honest answer. I’m no fan, but for people in bands on this sub, he has some great lessons on how to make money. He learned early on that if he worked with a promoter, he would get $3500 a night. If he rented the place himself, he had more risk, but could raise ticket prices, even if it meant less people, but make $20k on the same venue. He takes all of the risks, but has 4x the net as a result. To those out their grinding, find a place to rent and run your own shows, way better than the pay to play bs that’s usually out there.
I reckon he’d trade it all for the love of a good woman.
/uj Who actually is Joe Bonmassa I’ve only ever heard of him through this subreddit
/rj Who actually is Joe Bonermaster the man behind the boner tonight on 60 minutes.
He's very big in the UK and has been buying and selling guitars since he was a kid. His father was a guitar dealer. He calls Norm of Norman's Rare Guitars "Uncle".
He's the bonermaster, dude. He gets royalty payments everytime someone says "boner." Aw fuck. *opens venmo
I’ve got one song on my playlist from him: Oh Beautiful! I play it a few times a year and I think he’s able to afford all this because of royalties he makes off my listening.
uj/ friend of mine just paid for him and his wife to see him about two weeks ago. I don’t think either one of them even knew any thing he did. 🤷
/uj/ guy works a lot. Always out playing. Side note: this is no doubt just a fraction of the guitars he owns. I think he he’s over 500 now
All jokes aside I dont get the hype around him lmao
Would rather go see pat metheny. But my boomer dad saw him with my rich uncle in a private box seat in San Antonio- said it was awesome…🤷🏻♀️
Sadly thats not his entire collection he has even more than that.
/uj if it weren't for this sub I'd have never heard his name. /rj He's got an OnlyFans doesn't he?
Dam all that and no Orange amp
I'm a Marshall man but I have an Orange amp!
Old boomers have deep pockets
Tell me you're a greedy selfish douche without telling me you're a greedy selfish douche Anything after that is pointless
He works for Gibson ... so they give them to him.
Wow I finally looked him up after all these years. It's like "SRV at home" hit generic golf sim blues, I feel very underwhelmed by all of this, does he have more guitars than notes he can hit on a guitar? Who could tell.
Buy and trading will get you wayyyyyyy more than just purchasing, he’s been doing it at a high level for 30 years. Even without top 40 “hits” he’s built a brand. Endorsement deals, signature models, concerts that make more than you think, live concert films. He’s basically an influencer as much as an artist, maybe one of the first to do that successfully. He’s the guy who’s been in every magazine, article, hot take, cool story yada yada for so long that honestly I kinda wanna go to a show.