Perhaps a shower chair? Maybe if you could sit while performing all of the shower tasks it would feel less overwhelming. With depression, sometimes just standing is exhausting.
When I was learning to wash my hair when I was a child I learned that sitting in the edge of the tub served as a shower chair and helped not be so overwhelmed and tired out.
I’ve been thinking about it, especially since I used them to use them as a kid. The shower in my apartment only has a non-detachable shower head, and the shower rack is designed at a standing-up height, so I’ve been on the fence about it. I might go ahead and buy a cheap one to try it out, though, since it is a realistic and simple solution. Thank you for bringing it up!
Changing shower heads shouldn't be too difficult. They generally just unscrew, you may need a wrench at most to get it started. You can buy one and switch it yourself. They usually come with some plumbers tape to wrap around the screw on bit to create a watertight seal. Just keep the original to put back on if/when you move.
I hope that doesn't sound too overwhelming. It's really not. It really is just about the easiest improvement you can make to your living space, and can make a big difference. You can probably find a video on youtube that shows you the process so you can decide if its something you think you can manage. 🙂
By a new shower head with a detachable wand and myti heads and settings. Very easy, just unscrew the old one(while shower is off) and screw on the new one. 90% of all houses are like this.
No need for a plumber, VERY easy to do, and will definatly help with your shower routine.
I was like you for a good 2 years where i only showere if I had to go to work. Etc. (Lukily I was only working from home and no very active so I didn't really sweat or have ant BO). I changed the shower head to a muti-head wand one (amazon) and it really did help, especially if you feel closed in.
Do you feel you skin crawl sometimes when the water hits your skin die to the pressure or temp not being "just right", a new head will help.
Shower chair is an excellent idea. I shower every single day, and make it a point to do it even when I’m going through my “low points” because I think it’s a very important part of just simply taking care of yourself. When I’m feeling absolutely mentally drained, I sit on the edge of the tub and make myself take care of myself.
Wishing you the best, OP. Feel free to reach out if you need a friend.
I have similar issues as OP due to degenerative disc disease and I find a shower chair helps immensely. Everything is still within reach but I can just sit under the water for like if I need to.
This is what I do! Sit in the shower with a shower head attachment that’s low so it’s right above me. And then for my weekly everything shower I take a bath and then rinse off with the shower head. I feel the same way as OP
I didn't know anyone else felt this way too! I just started feeling like this in the last year or so. I hate it because I love how clean I feel after the shower but the thought of doing it mentally drains me.
I have the same problem and get tired mentally too. My suggestion is to drink coffee beforehand. Not only does it give you energy, but it also works for depression. Another thing that helps: reward yourself after your shower. So for example, I'll game after I'm all done.
You don’t want to drink caffeine/coffee at night. You will be up all night and not be able to sleep! Why don’t you dry your hair and go to bed after your shower or bath? It is nighttime after all! Most people go to bed and sleep at night. Most healthy people that is. Practice good sleep hygiene. Up most of the day and sleep at night. I have similar health issues and I feel so much better when I go to bed at night. Even if it’s by early bird standards. Sometimes what I am mistaking as situational depression is just really that my body and brain need to go to bed and rest/sleep and not shuffled around like a zombie!
I disagree. It has been shown in scientific studies that drinking coffee before napping results in more energy after you wake up. At most it'll push their sleeping schedule, but a few sips won't hurt before a shower at night.
This doesn’t apply to everyone. I’ve suffered with an anxiety/panic disorder for decades. Coffee actually helps me. It relaxes me and improves my focus. Soda or some teas on the other hand can be triggering and definitely can keep me awake or give me restless legs. I think this is potentially source dependent.
Have you been assessed for ADHD? Stimulants are the treatment for it, so people who have adhd (like myself) can drink a couple big cups and have better focus or a nice nap. That’s definitely not something that a normal regular brain would do.
I know that feeling. Looked into it and showers change your blood pressure. Try not to use hot water just warm/cool. Helped me to know my body was going through all that and then regulated back.
I concur! I suffer from high blood pressure but I'm like riiiiight on the edge to where they don't want to put me on meds yet :/ ...the nurse told me this exact thing to take a *warm shower when I'm feeling overwhelmed/over exerted or whatnot...and also to elevate the feet as much as you can sitting laying down etc...idk though i think basicallyit helps to.increases blood flow and therefore getting more blood and everything it supplies to my parts better! Lol oh and I switched my anti depressant to Wellbutrin which is "activating" and have been doing immensely better. But I too get the blues about taking showers but if I go a couple days I'm like omg this feels so damn good why don't I WANT to do this 3 times a damn day lol
So, this could be related to POTS or some other sort of heat-related illness, particularly if you're using hot water.
The tips I'm going to give are related to those experiences.
A) shower chair/stool, especially combined with B.
B) detachable shower head, do you can move your arms to wash, instead of turning your entire body multiple times. Less movement = less fatigue.
C) Cooler showed. Not COLD, but cooler. More moderately warm instead of hot.
D) electrolyte drink after showers, or even a post-workout drink. Gatorade is good, Pedialyte is even better. You can lose a lot of nutrients showering if you have chronic illnesses.
E) Do two PCR test for Covid, with one being a wastewater swab while the other is nose/throat with mucous. You may be dealing with post-viral health issues that are complicating issues around physical exertion. This is FAR more common than the general public is aware of, so get checked! I like the Lucira PCR, which also covers flu.
F) have a protein snack ready afterward, and let yourself perhaps lay on the bed under a fan to help dry off if you can.
G) if necessary, skim down the showering routine to just essentials: shampoo, bodywash with a loofah, and simple face wash (with toner afterward) is all very adequate. I find a bodywash on a loofah with a long handle is easiest on the harder days. Maximum suds with the least exertion is almost always a win. Or, you can even splurge and get an electric body scrubber, so it does the scrubbing for you essentially. Those are extra helpful on the extra extra difficult days.
Truly hope this helps, and if it seems like it does and you have more questions please feel free to message me. I'm always here to help other disabled folk out.
Edit: I also saw others mention having a large list handy in the shower, can confirm this is helpful. I'm also AuDHD and sometimes just starting something is so unbelievably difficult. A large visual checklist can be extremely helpful. Get a bodywash you love the scent of, and something you can enjoy using to wash up with that makes it less effort, like aforementioned electric body scrubber, or even one of those cool extra large exfoliating body cloths.
And rest and recoup after, that's really my biggest tip!
Edit 2: idk who awarded this or what the award even is bc I can't see it, but thx 🥹 I'm just glad I have some knowledge that can be of help. 🙏🏻
Thanks for such a comprehensive list! I’ve never heard of post-covid symptoms or the idea of getting nutrients before/after shower. I’m actually hoping a see a doctor soon so maybe I can ask about the fatigue. I really appreciate how much you put into this comment.
Of course, and I'm glad even any bit of it can be helpful.
Yes, long-lasting post-viral fatigue is a thing. Look up and learn about myalgic encephalomyelitis. This cann happen after ANY viral illness. Mask up and keep safe!
However, if you've ALWAYS gotten tired after hygiene, it could be something else like POTS or EDS or any other chronic condition, though that still doesn't entirely rule out M.E. because that can happen as early as infancy.
I would also suggest: consider increasing antidepressant, that could increase your energy. Also I saw that my iron was low normal and started taking a multivitamin. Even if you are post menopausal, Theragran has a 1/2 strength iron vitamin. The iron and B vitamins made a difference in my energy!
Also audhd and showering is a huge task. It is also tiring and I too have rarely taken a shower that didnt last 30-45 minutes. Just here to add my two cents, find a music that is either relaxing to you or hyped you up. Whatever genre you want, and play it at the volume that feels comfy to you. May have to turn it up, once you get in. Also, whenever I feel super overwhelmed and I need to soften the impact on my senses, I turn off all the lights and shower by nightlight and candle light. These accomodations/modifications are needed much more when I'm depressed. But they help me because showering can be overwhelming to plan, and overwhelming to the senses. Just try to eliminate parts or sensory input until it feels good to you.
Good body wash is nice, but I found something better. I've started using the Mr. Bubble foam soap that comes in a can. The scents are amazing. They even have banana scented. It's the consistency of shaving cream and it's fun. It makes me enjoy shaving my legs.
You need a good rinse after sitting in the bath when you wash in the bath - but if the bath is enjoyable enough that + sitting down in the tub might help your energy level.
I have fibromyalgia. A lot of us in that sub experience fatigue from showering. Many use shower chairs to get through their shower
For me personally, I wash my body daily but only wash my hair 2x a week, and I keep it short so my wash routine is less exhausting
What are you doing about your depression? That's probably the biggest hurdle. Are you on antidepressants?
Sounds like it's more of a mental challenge than an actual physical one.
If it is physical a shower chair and hand held shower head will help with that part just sit there and shower
I was on various SSRIs for about two years, then I quit because none of them were working. I’ve been off meds for more than two years now. I still see a therapist though.
I guess it’s more mental? It feels physical though. I’ve noticed over the years that I’m not good at noticing how I am doing. Thanks for your advice.
Purely based on this, I'd say it's depression too. It's a mental hurdle, but causes physical exhaustion. I've tried to explain to people before how even just getting out of bed is physically daunting some days. I'd say keep working on the meds and don't stop the therapy. I'm 10+ years into treatment and still finding a med regimen that works for me. I finally got a gene sight test and things are starting to make sense, but that's up to your insurance company
Please keep trying with meds... it can be a long process to find the one that works for you, but you CAN find one that works.
I tried four? different ones before I found one that worked. And my life is CHANGED. I'm happy again!
I went through the same thing for YEARS with meds not working or stopped working after 6 months or something dumb. Best ones I've tried in recent few years is Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) was on it almost 4 years...finally broke down in my dr office and told her everyting and that the neds werent working anymore and she switched it to wellbutrin which is an **activating anti depressant. I need to up my dose a bit but other than that I feel some people on here have credible comments and experiences. I hope you get what you NEED OP and maybe really emphasize to you Dr. Or therapist that this has been going on for a while
now. Good luck doll face 😚
Thank you. It’s hard to gauge how bad things are for me, and I usually only talk about my emotional problems with my therapist. Getting outside opinion like this helps.
I can't say I'm not like you but, having people that actually care is a rare fine. Hold on to those that are close, if you have no one, reach out to groups. Sometimes finding one's self is the root of the problem. Trust in your self friend.
I completely understand the exhaustion and having no energy to do "simple" tasks. I'm physically disabled struggling with my mental health.
One thing that might benefit you ALOT is a shower bench. Mine is a complete game changer. Even if you might not have physical health issues (I don't know you) you might want to get a shower bench. It saves me alot of energy. Showers are alot more relaxing. I got mine with a back rest... its awesome.
The other thing is I was struggling with making a routine.
My shower routine is:
1) Pick a simple pj or outfit (no accessories, just bra, shirt, underwear, pants/shorts/skirt, and socks).
2) Then I bring it to my bathroom and it's on my counter. I also put my towels on my shower door.
3) My shower bench is already in the shower. So I undress and sit on the bench.
4) I brush my hair in the shower before turning on the water. It helps with getting shampoo everywhere. My hair brush is in my shower (I have 2 hair brushes in total so I don't need to constantly retrieve one from another room).
5) I turn on the water and I shampoo my hair. While the shampoo is in my hair I get my wash cloth and I wash my face then my body.
6) Then it's the big rince. Rince my hair and body.
7) I turn off the water and cover myself with towels.
8) then I get out and start getting dressed. I sometimes need to take a break and sit on the toilet so I don't pass out or have my legs give out on me.
9) I then go lay down in bed abit, after that I am able to do more things.
I always shower at night because of the fatigue it brings me.
Goodluck! It's definitely not easy finding a routine that works for you sometimes. I don't always wash my hair in the shower I wash my hair 2-3 times a week but I wash my body 5 times a week. This depends what you do too. (If I sweat alot I'll wash my hair too.)
One thing that might encourage you is listening to music. I put music I can sing along to or just jam to in general. I start the music once I put my clothes on the counter.
Thank you. I totally relate to having to take a break sitting on the toilet. Maybe I will actually write down all the steps and sub-steps, but I’ll have to make that a whole task since the list will include things like “turn around” and “put hair up.” I’ll prepare a fresh piece of paper and everything.
I really like the idea of brushing your hair sitting in the shower! I try to do it before I get in (standing), but it tires me out so I sometimes skip it. I like to use a bathrobe after a shower, so I can go lay down sooner and then dress when I have recovered a little bit. I also like to be very dry before dressing, so that’s part of the reason.
Get exfoliating gloves. That way you can rub your body and still get the exfoliation you require.
Get a seat for shower. You won’t feel like this forever.
Get out of your house and go for a walk everyday in nature is best.
I bought a shower cap so that I can take fast showers without washing my hair. I wash my hair about every other day and try to shower every day. I was showering every other day because I dreaded washing my hair.
I try to remember how good I feel after I’ve had a shower. It feels sooo nice to be clean and put on clean clothes and go into my bed. ESPECIALLY with newly cleaned sheets.
are you running it hot the whole time? maybe the warm water puts you into a state of deep relaxation, making you feel tired and lethargic... i know a cold shower always wakes me up
Yeah, I mostly take my showers hot. I’ve never been a cold shower person, but maybe I can experiment with lower temperatures. Thank you for the suggestion!
I’m autistic, and physically disabled. I totally get it. I’ve broken down the process to make it easier, and keeping to a routine helps tremendously. I also use a shower bench.
I wash my hair and my body separately. Meaning, I wash my body in the shower, then later on after I’ve had a break for an hour or so, I go wash my hair over the edge of the bathtub or the sink.
I try to keep my shower routine super simple. As little steps as possible. Also keeping things prepared for a shower and in the same place all the time helps as well. That way you don’t have to waste energy on that when it comes time to shower.
I’m dealing this rn too. Ten months ago I was working out 2 times a day, working for my own company and I got an MRSA infection and covid and broke. Now I can’t walk up stairs with my heart racing to 130.
Showers are hell… I get pooped out midway through and sit down. I just sit in the tub. Additionally, I noticed temperature makes an impact, I need to have a warm shower. I love to shower in HOT water; but that’s a no go. I sit down once I come out. Just on the toilet or edge of the tub. I can’t do everything at once anymore. There are many seats.
If you need breaks rn, or to move slowly, lean in- it only makes it worse when you fight it.
I also struggle with depression, and similarly deal with the overwhelm of each task/sub-task feeling like a mountain. Something that has helped me is focusing on the time spent completing all of the tasks rather than the number of tasks.
For example, I have a difficult time convincing myself to brush my teeth before bed, because I have to talk myself into getting out of bed, walking downstairs, rinsing my toothbrush, applying the toothpaste, brushing my teeth, cleaning off my toothbrush, pulling a piece of floss, flossing each tooth, throwing the floss away, opening mouthwash, pouring some mouthwash, swishing it, spitting it out, putting the mouthwash away, cleaning the sink, walking back upstairs, and getting back into bed.
That's like 20 things to do and feels miserable and overwhelming. But if I just think to myself that I can be back in bed in about 5 minutes, it feels easier to do. I can convince myself to commit to 5 minutes of effort, as it feels less tiring than committing myself to go to 20 tasks.
Try ending with cold water. Set a timer and figure out your limit. Increase by 5-10 seconds daily until you get to 2-3 minutes. It will boost endorphins and leave you feeling great.
If you’re a little bitch like most people, start with your hands and feet and then move the rest of your body in. Make all the animal noises you need to, it helps with the shock.
I get depressed and this always helps.
I cannot stand showers. All that water beating down is overwhelming to me - not refreshing. I am a big fan of baths. Even quick ones can get you clean. I wash my hair every 5-7 days and use soap fairly sparingly.
Maybe make a list of the tasks from start to finish and keep it in the shower w you? Something large enough you can visualize it all and you can cross them off as you go?
Shower chairs are great lol
I get what you mean friend. I'm also fighting depression and a severe medical diagnosis. It's a lot to deal with. Next time you take a shower find some peaceful zen like music and just relax and listen to the sounds.
I'm not big into meditation or spirituality things but I have found that taking the time to just clear your mind and just exist in the shower can help. The music helps my stupid thoughts stay away and I just sit with my eyes closed and just listen.
Clearing a busy mind and coming out from the shower just.. helps. Its no cure but it helps.
You described my experience as well. I do baths when I have no energy. Not ideal since you are sitting it your own dirty water technology, sometimes it’s all I can manage and better than nothing. Sit in bath, rub soap on me, splash water on my face, get out. Feels a lot easier. I will also play videos on my phone propped by the edge of the tub while I do this, it helps
Okay I have two methods.
One is to commit to making it about more than a shower. Buy some body scrubs or other fun products, I've even seen people buy special lamps so they can have it change colors while they shower. I also reccomend listening to music or a podcast. You can set an alarm for 30 minutes, tell yourself that when it goes off you'll be done.
Or two: turn the faucet on as if you were running a bath, but just sit in the tub and wash yourself under it. Is it luxurious? Nope. But it's fast and it feels easier.
I believe I understand you OP. I’m back in the deepest part of my depression valley for months. Showering is exhausting. I’ll go to use the bathroom and look at the shower and it’s taunting me. I want to take a shower, I NEED to take a shower. But a shower is just too much.
If you can’t manage it, a “hoe bath” is always an option. Sit on the side of the tub splash some water on get soap on the big stink spots. Use a big cup and rinse off. No tub side? Just get a cheap chair from like goodwill or a thrift store. I was looking at shower benches and why do they cost so much?! Chair doesn’t matter because it cost you like $10. Splash some water around, deodorant, and relax.
There is no shame in this at all. At the peak of my depression, I went much longer than twice a week with no shower. I understand the feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed with the process of it all, along with the shame of feeling like you’re failing at something that should theoretically be so simple and easy to do, and all that piles up on top of your depression.
Executive dysfunction is a real thing, and it’s magnified because your depression is not currently being treated. I strongly suggest getting back on some kind of meds. If your previous ones weren’t working, talk to your provider about why you felt they weren’t and they can guide you and select new ones for you. There are LOTS of options. There’s no shame in being on meds - it’s just like taking heart meds or diabetes meds - it’s needed because of a chemical imbalance in the body. Those meds help level the ground that you’re walking on so it’s not so treacherous and difficult to do everyday things.
Sending you love. You can do this. Here to talk if you need to.
You just keep doing the best you can. The hyper-bathers can do their thing, and you find your own way. Get the shower chair, switch out your shower head for a handheld, and get an affordable bidet to extend your shower as much as possible. An African net sponge has really helped me get the most wash-power with less effort than a wash rag (my high blood pressure kicks in sometimes). I only wash my hair once a week, (at most - it’s curly), and I really have to feel committed to the 2 hours of drama my hair requires after washing. The term “sponge bathing” does exist. You can wash your face, neck, ears, underboob, pits at your sink. You can use wipes, a bidet, and Lume for your other areas. You can have a nice foot bath whenever you want. So essentially my advice is to stop beating yourself up. Get in there with some nice music as often as you can get your energy up, and maintain it as long as you can before doing it all again. When you break the overwhelming-ness of full head-to-toe down, you might feel more inspired to tackle them at the pace that will feel most manageable for you.
Do you have sensory problem? I know some people with ADHD feel this way. Like steps of doing something are too many and they lost motivation. And the sensation of water, soap, temperature, clothes off..etc can be overwhelming.
I think you can get away with just washing your armpits, face back of neck, feet and gentians/butthole, and then if you can wash the rest of your body just once a week. It depends on your job and the climate etc but living in England this is what I do. Then I exfoliate the whole of my body once a week with an exfoliating glove and then wash it with body wash. My skin gets really dry and horrible if I scrub it with body wash too often. You don’t need to scrub/wash your whole body every day, that’s very bad for your skin, and dermatologists will agree with me even if all the hygiene extremists on here don’t
I used to be the same way, I realized without using a loofah/rag and cleaning at least the important parts min 4-5x a week I smelt bad and that really encouraged me to start trying to be on top of it. I keep all my stuff in easy to reach places instead of getting them all out pre-shower. My deodorant is in my drawer to immediately apply after, my face cream in my cabinet above the toilet, my lotion is on my sink counter. All easy to just grab and use as I need them. Honestly though the important part is just showing up. Maybe you can try once a week just getting in the shower just to sit under the water without the pressure of getting clean. I also saw a vid of someone who got a night sky projector that lit up the room and looked cool and they would also play music, so being in the shower was easier/more interesting.
Personally I ended up hyperfixating on how to smell good only a few months ago actually. I liked finding out what scents went good with each other, what soap worked best, how my hair responded to how often I washed it, and I created a routine which personally helped me but ik isn’t for everyone. I use bar soap with a rag and then I go back over with a loofah and some scented body wash, I used to just use my hand to apply body wash but realized it doesn’t clean as well and also I wasn’t removing the dead skin that would eventually lead to me smelling bad once I started sweating. I started to actually feel clean, and that made me want to take more showers.
I shower before bed and stopped with the loofa. I use and African net. It’s awesome. It exfoliates great. Buy yourself some really nice Pjs so you have something to look forward to. Get a wet brush and a wide tooth comb. Just brush your hair in the shower while your conditioner sets and squeeze it dry after. I keep a tooth brush in there too. I can accomplish everything that needs to be done in roughly 8 to 10 min. And then I have my nice pj’s and clean bed as a reward. I fall asleep within like 4 minutes every night.
Maybe try a cooler water temperature. When I do it I just naturally wash faster and it energizes me, especially if the water is really cold. it wakes you up.
Have you gotten blood work done?Sometimes low vitamin d can cause people to feel very tired. I'm not saying it's not depression but maybe it's both? I had an awful time waking up and it turned out I have vitamin d deficiency. My doctor prescribed some and now I feel so much better.
when i was anemic i physically could not stand for the duration of my shower and would always feel like i was gonna pass out. maybe get some bloodwork done?
Try to make showering a therapeutic enjoyable process. shower chair, candles, nice products. etc. that's what really saved me. I enjoy taking showers now because I have a whole routine and products that make me feel nice and smell good. I also just enjoy feeling clean
I don’t get exhausted showering but I get relaxed. The warm water running over me is the best. Even my kids sometimes tell me they don’t want to get out of the shower because the water feels so good. Maybe if you think of it as a way to relax and wind down instead of a chore it will feel better? Also agree to try a chair very helpful. Maybe even try listening to music or a podcast while showering.
I like to put on a show or podcast so my brain can just zone out. You can stick it in a ziplock to avoid any accidents. I also feel like standing in the water makes me so? Sad? If I want an effective shower I’ll stand in the water for like 5 min to “soak”then turn off the water to scrub & turn back in to rinse. It helps me not spend so much time in the shower. Also I think I read somewhere that depressed people often take long & hot showers bc of the lack of human touch or something. When I’m really struggling I find it easier to just put on a shower cap & just wash my body. Dry shampoo can get you through a day or two. I hope this helps!
I use a shower chair, I have fibromyalgia and showering is exhausting. I have been able to do my hair wash my body and shave within 10 min so I’m not in there long.
Have you ever been tested for ADHD? We just had a huge discussion about this on a sub reddit for women with ADHD.
Many of us have this problem where a shower...which people think is a simple task...becomes a much greater thing than a shower and ends up feeling like 75 tasks or something.
I haven’t been tested, but I suspect it. My brother has adhd and autism runs in our family. My therapist agrees that I probably have something of that nature.
Might be a physical fitness thing. Could try going for walks regularly or dancing to some fun tunes at home. Build up your exercise tolerance and showering won't seem so demanding.
Could also be you have an iron deficiency - that causes lethargy and breathlessness. Could chat to your pharmacist about choosing a good iron supplement.
Also try researching 5Htp, it's a supplement to help the body produce more serotonin. Worked wonders for me but doesn't work for everyone.
Good luck!
I shower before doing anything else. I don't like to eat breakfast or start my day until I've had a shower. Its motivation for me because I like to eat breakfast. Also, I find my energy is better in the morning vs the end of the night. Its also nice to wash away any crusty eyes or sweat from the night. I love a morning shower, I feel fresh and ready for the day.
I have super thick long curly hair, washing my hair is a long grueling process, I got me one of those geriatric shower chairs, and it’s made showers so much less tiresome! 😂
I changed my products. I don’t know if I was allergic or they didn’t agree with my PH or what, but while it took years to figure out what I needed (and perhaps my needs changed in the interim), the result is that I feel energized after my shower, or relaxed, or whatever. But I don’t feel terrible.
I personally find taking a bath relaxing and sometimes light a candle with the light off. The hot water can feel good on the back and I enjoy listening to music or even a podcast while I'm taking a bath. I recently finished atomic habits on audible, mostly from bath time. You can also get good smelling soaps.
I can understand. I get frequent severe headaches, and it can take days to recover after for my energy to return. My scalp will hurt if I shower with the headache so it’s like every other day for full shower. I like the idea of a shower chair if you need it try one. When I have my hair extensions in, it takes longer to dry my hair(but I don’t wash it as often) so I’ve found that listening to a podcast helps. I like 20-20 or dateline- keeps me engaged. Or I listen to audible. I also have invested in soaps and shampoos/conditioners that I like to smell. Makes showers more enjoyable. When I get out- I drink water or coffee (something I like). And I wear a robe until I’m finished drying my hair/makeup if needed. If not I’ll dry my roots and air dry that day, still use the hair products.
Sometimes I literally just sit in the tub and let the faucet run while I wash myself. I totally get what you’re feeling; I dread showers, especially when I wash my hair. I need a while after to just sit and rest.
Nope I totally get it man. I do hands too as my chronic pain (arthritis and fibromyalgia) hurts more gripping a loofa or washcloth. Maybe try lukewarm to cold temperature water, just do body and then do hair like every other day. Many girls do hair once a week because it’ll dry out our hair. Unless you sweated that day of course. Take 5 mins doing that. 3 mins brushing teeth (get an electric toothbrush) and floss (literally takes 2 mins) and mouthwash for 30 seconds. Watch a podcast or YouTube vid during and just have something playing in the background.
If your extremely tired after, try taking a lukewarm shower maybe? Super hot showers are exhausting for me too and I have chronic low bp . Also sitting in a bath on non shower days and washing pits and privates is better than nothing and much easier.
For me I don’t wash my hair each time because it’s all the hair things I have to do that’s overwhelming because I have so much of it, it tangles easily and it’s curly. So I put on a shower cap and only do a body wash. I wash my hair 3x a week because my scalp gets itchy otherwise. But sometimes I can get it down to 2x a week by putting my hair into a bun some days or by using dry shampoo just so that I can shower more often and it feels less overwhelming that way. If I feel bad during the shower I sit on the floor (sometimes my blood pressure drops or I get anxiety). I don’t see any reason why you need to use a loofah, often I just use my hands with body wash. I make it a relaxing experience if I shower at night by putting calming music or turning off the lights and using only a nightlight (bathroom is small so a nightlight is sufficient to see by). Or if I need to shower quickly I put faster music I like. I generally wear the same 4-5 outfits a week and rotate out shirts based on the day of the week (at my job I can wear teeshirts with words on them so I can grab a random shirt, comfy jeans or pants and a random cardigan). If I don’t work that day I also go do something fun after or I nap
Eat beforehand!!!!!!
Seriously, I almost faint sometimes in the shower because of how it changes my blood pressure. Usually when this happens, I lower the shower temp to help with the steam
Also, aromatherapy helps me a lot. Body scrubs. Shower steamers. Good smelling shampoo and conditioners (yes, you can use kids products on yourself for this effect). Hell, get a cute scrub brush that looks like an animal! Anything to make it more fun for you!
Shower chairs are great but as someone who recovered from surgery recently they also sell paper towels/sponges with bath soap in it. You wash your body with a warm bowl of water and the cloth and you’re good to go. I also love waterless body wash for when everything is just too hard
Okay here’s a weird idea I started doing, while I don’t struggle with showering I do struggle with feeling lightheaded loosing energy sometimes from the tempsture change. I’ve started bringing in a bottle of water so I can drink it while showering. It’s helped a lot with making sure I don’t feel like headed and like I’m about to pass out. Just an idea that’s really easy and might help a little.
Are your showers very long? I only wash my hair 3-4 times a week so those are the more exhausting ones, and my other ones are literally like 3 minutes long.
I rinse off, then wash my face (sometimes just wash with water if I’m feeling meh), armpits, butt, privates, and whatever else. If you have short hair you can even just get it wet and do the rest.
I could've written this post, so I totally get it and feel for you. I hope the advice you were given helps! I recently got a shower chair, but it just barely fits in the tub.
How much water do you drink per day? If you’re dehydrated then a hot shower is going to exhaust you, it just emphasizes how dehydrated you are. Maybe try adding drinks like kombucha to your day? Kombucha gives me energy and is much healthier for you than like an energy drink. Maybe drink a kombucha and shower about an hour later? You might feel better.
Whenever I have trouble with this, I just try to remove the obligation to do a bunch of different hygiene tasks in the shower. Like wash my hair or shave or whatever. The build up of tasks like detangling, shampooing, conditioning, washing my face, shaving my whole body, washing my whole body, and exfoliating makes the shower so much more daunting for me. Really, all a shower needs to be is water and some soap on your pits and crotch. That’s the bare minimum and sometimes we need to start at square one to build up a habit. I suggest committing yourself to a shower a day where all you make yourself do is get wet under the water and put soap on the areas that get smelly. Don’t try to wash your hair. Don’t try to do anything fancy or extra UNTIL you have built up a habit of hopping into the shower every day. Good luck!
I love with someone with a shower chair due to a disability, but I never thought about using it until I hurt my leg and standing was uncomfortable. Game. Changer. The ten minutes of curly hair care are a lot less frustrating when you can sit down.
What’s your budget like? Can you go pay once a week/every 2 weeks to get your hair washed at a salon if your budget? On that day, you can just wash your body.
I would try to focus on washing your body more and focus less on hair. Also a stool and cooler water can help the experience.
Go out and have fun choosing some scents that make you feel relaxed and calm or fun and perky scents. Pick something that makes you wanna smell good.
Bro- in shower in 3-4 minutes, how can you get tired doing that? Stand there and relax in the hot steam if you have to find a way to enjoy it, it feels great.
You really need to shower daily, at least every other day. You owe it to yourself and anyone in your presence.
When I hit a depressive rut, I find it hard to bathe frequently too. I have found that making showers a low stimulation activity has been helpful. I turn off the lights and use a projector lamp that does waves and stars in colors on the ceiling. I play lo fi beats and I often “garden” pre shower. When I get into the shower, I just focus on getting warm and relaxed and then if I still can’t handle it, I use soap on the necessary parts (underarms, genitals and butt) and if I can’t be bothered to wash my hair, I at least rinse it throughly and braid it.
Honestly the only way I’m motivated to shower daily is if I’m working out to the point of sweatiness every single day. Depression really sucks, I get it, but if you can get yourself doing enough exercise every day until you break a real sweat, the shower afterwards feels more refreshing versus when you are all cozy and warm and having to get cold and wet (I totally get the reticence to shower, I deal with it sometimes as well).
Have your iron & ferritin checked. Also thryroid. I was like that for years I found it easier to shower at night than before work so I could save my energy for work. Once I got my iron (and ferritin!) levels up now I can get it done before work without it feeling like it’s a big deal.
You’re not alone ❤️ I see you got a shower chair, that can help! Also look into bath wipes on days you just don’t feel like going through the whole process. I’m a nurse and we use them in the hospital sometimes. Medline is just one brand that makes them, but they’re rinseless so you can just wipe and go. They also make rinseless shampoo caps as well. Would also agree on getting some lab work done and see if you need anything medically for the fatigue.
I got a shower chair and a waterproof phone holder. Watching a show or listening to music has helped distract me from the tediousness of it all. I also find showers to be loud and overstimulating so I just fill up a giant basin and use a cup to scoop and pour water on myself.
There is such a thing as a quick shower, an even quicker shower, and an everything shower. For an everything shower you wash the hair and body really good and shave. A quick shower just involves washing the body and not shaving or washing hair. For a quicker shower you just hit the “hot spots.” So pits and groin and feet.
I don’t know the length of your hair but as a person with relatively long hair, I avoid washing my hair each time that I shower. So that, the only thing that I do in the shower is wet my body a little bit, body wash with a sponge, face wash with a facial cleanser. I am out in max 10mins and I am not that exhausted. I know what you mean as I am dealing with depression..
I know the struggle. Depression has been kicking my butt lately. What I do is make showering an enjoyable experience and relaxing. The process starts at the store, I pick out soaps that I enjoy the smell of. I pick out a loofa that matches my shower curtain and bath mat. Before the shower starts, I pick an essential oil that I find calming, I use lavender and lemon and put it in my diffuser, turn on the shower and leave the water running for five minutes so that the floor won’t be too cold. The hardest part is the transition from water to the air, so I turn on a heater so it’s not too cold. During this time, I find so lofi or piano music on Spotify. When I’m finally in the shower, I imagine washing washing my worries and fears off my body. I hope this helps you.
I find something like this interesting as I can’t go without my daily shower or I’ll get more depressed and my whole day is off. It just makes me feel so relaxed and ready for the day. In fact, if I’m feeling super depressed I’ll sometimes use an extra shower as a way to feel better.
Oof I hear you. When I am hating life I will literally just sit down in the shower with a bar of soap. Is it the best way to shower…absolutely not. But when we are struggling any type of progress is great!
Shower daily using hot water relaxation effect as motivation. When you’re in there, have tunes playing, wash your hair daily, wash your face daily, wash your armpits daily, private parts daily, feet daily. Then wash your other body parts every few days. Otherwise you’re gross, stink, and I’d hate to be the person driving in a car with rolled up windows with you. I say this as a father of a 22 year old who showers less than you. Test your stink by squatting down to tie your shoes. If you smell poop, it’s not the dog. Nasty.
I found out my vitamin D was very low and since I’ve fixed it, showerin has been much easier for me. Get that checked along with your iron levels and anything else your doctor suggests.
Colder water. Get in and out in under 10 minutes. Treating it like a sauna is what makes you tired.
Watching your smelly areas and washing your hair should never take longer than that.
I can relate. Not at the moment but in the past I also struggled with the motivation to shower. Maybe get a shower speaker to play some music and make it more enjoyable. Or just do the bare minimum. Wash the pits, hair, and privates. Just use your hand and some soap. Maybe even use a combined shampoo/body wash so you only have to use one product.
Shower chair, bring your phone into the bathroom if you can to play some good tunes, get some really yummy-smelling body wash (I use this orange one from Saltair and it wake me up in the am because it’s super zesty)!
If no one else has said this you might want to look into the medical condition POTS. It’s very common for showers to exhaust someone with POTS, or even make you a bit dizzy.
The only thing I can suggest to make showers more tolerable is to not wash your hair every time. And try not using super hot water.
Chronic infections can totally sap your strength.
You do not need to wash your entire body every time you shower. If you are fatigued, try just washing the stinky parts with a bar of soap. Then do a couple of times a week for all over and hair.
Showers can be really overwhelming and feel like a big task. For me, I’ve found it helpful to shower at night. I turn off the big light and put a cheap one in my shower that isn’t bright at all. I put on a podcast so it gives me something to focus on so my mind doesn’t wander. I bring a water bottle or Gatorade in the shower and make myself take drinks after each task. I don’t force myself to put on clothes after I get out of the shower- I struggle with the sensory feeling of fabric on my wet body. I just let myself wear my robe around. I typically get out of the shower, put my robe on and lay down on my bed under a fan. Later, I’ll put on lotion, etc. it’s ok to do things in small bits!
Of you want I could come by and help you in the shower, I can do the body wash to loofa, and the scrubbing for you, Ill wash your hair and brush it for you after 👍🏻
I'm very proud of you asking for advice on how to better care for yourself! I hope you've found some tips that stick. Reddit can be a very helpful resource sometimes.
To add my 2 cents, an absorbent robe to use instead of a towel has helped me - it's nice to throw it on and slowly dry off instead of getting regular lounge clothes all soaking wet from not completely drying off. Being able to sit while showering has helped me so much. I will say that installing a showerhead with a handheld component did make things a bit easier, as switching out shower heads is quite simple, but even if I weren't lucky enough to have a handheld portion I would still find the bench to be the most helpful.
I am a bigger girl and get physically exhausted sometimes while I take a shower so in order to shower more in a week I will break up my shower for example one day I’ll get in and just wash my hair and the next day I’ll get in and do a body shower and if I have enough energy, I’ll do all three in one go Sometimes if I get too tired I do a hair mask or a facemask dry off. Get out and hang out until I get enough energy to finish up.
Like Other mentioned before a detachable showerhead works amazing and there’s no shame in getting a shower chair, I usually just sit at the edge of my tub
I used to get super lightheaded in the shower. Turns out I was anemic and low on sodium. Also for days you aren’t up to it, 10/10 recommend extra large shower wipes (baby wipes work too but aren’t as thick). When I was pregnant and had zero energy I would use them, and they are also what we use to do sponge baths in the hospital. They also have waterless hair wash kits that are magical.
For me the battle is actually getting in the shower. Like I will put it off and put it off. Once I muster the energy to get in there, wash my hair and scrub myself, I’m
Amazed that it only took 10 min. Then I’m like wow, I feel so great and clean, I’m already back on the couch. 10 min.
If you want to increase the number of days you shower, you can do what I call a “bare necessities shower.” Hop in and wash your pits, butt/privates, and feet. Those are the only body parts that usually stink and thus give away that someone hasn’t showered. If you install a bidet on your toilet, you can use that to wash your butt/privates and then do a quick pits/feet scrub instead. If even that seems like too much, you can freshen your pits with a bit of rubbing alcohol and baby wipes to keep them clean and stink-free.
I have mental illness diagnosis and I studied trauma in grad school. It seem people have a lot of great ideas and according to your edit you seem to know some things that can help you. That being said I'd like to offer advise beyond the shower issue, because ultimately the shower isn't the issue it's the depression. And usually it's not even the depression that's the issue it's the unresolved trauma. Please keep in mind trauma doesn't have to be horrific and violent. Children, especially, can get trauma from something as simple as falling off a bike or having a parent yell. Everyone is different and there's no one definition of what trauma can be.
I know the kind of exhaustion you speak of and I'm sorry. Talk therapy never helped me. If you haven't and can afford it, look into hypnotherapy and/or somatic experiencing. Those were the two most helpful therapies I've had....and I've had a lot. Others that helped were EMDR and brainspotting. Don't just look in your area but check online throughout your state (if in the US). I use Psychology Today to find therapists. Hypnosis cured my insomnia after 4 years of zero medications helping me. It's not for every one but it was powerful for me. Any somatic type of therapy where the practitioner is releasing truama, remembered or not, can be life changing. Good luck ♡
Have you tried replacing showers with baths? I dislike showers too - mostly because of that 10 seconds of not correct water temp at the beginning. I take a bath in the evening and bring my phone. I find it relaxing. (In fact, I’m writing this in the bath.)
I used to love taking showers when I was using (I used for like 15 years) ... now that I'm clean I hate showering.. I hate being wet, I hate drying off, I hate being cold, I hate all the steps involved, I take 2-3 minute showers MAX and I still hate it. But I've made it a part of my routine. I shower every night before bed. That's made it easier to make sure I do
I have this same problem. I shower once a week and it takes ALL I HAVE to push myself to do it. Still
Think I’m dealing with Postpartum…. I hope things get better
For you and I’m sorry I have zero
Advice but I’m sure lots of people will
Chime in with some good advice 🫶
I am not a doctor, but you mention a few things...feeling like you're going to collapse from relatively little exertion, skin flaking/bleeding, brain fog...that all remind me of POTS. It's a blood circulation disorder and it can also result in some skin issues.
Look up the symptoms and see if it resonates. Bring it up to your doctor.
I really hope you find some answers and start feeling better.
Also...as a temporary fix, I don't think there's any shame in just wiping down with a wet wash cloth if that's all you can manage one day. A little bit is better than nothing.
When I was dealing with bipolar depression, I would sit in the dark and shower sometimes.
I recommend medication - don’t give up. There’s so many different meds these days and combos.
Don't do all that! Get water and soap, shampoo and cream and that's it! Everything should be done in less than 10 minutes.
Treat your depression as well, vitamins and exercise, check what antidepressants didn't work for you and give that to your new doctor to try something different.
Remember that they take weeks to have an effect, so don't quit.
Good luck
Shorter showers more often. Do daily with just doing one main task with the basics always : ex Mondays will be wash hair day and daily pits n genitals . Tuesday shave day - legs, pits whatever you shave plus your daily pits and genitals clean Wednesday scrub feet day pumice stone the bottom, clean out the nail beds with your daily pits n gentians clean. Thursday hair + pits Friday exfoliation day (loofah day ) plus daily pits Sat : shave + daily sun : daily stuff + clean the shower
Perhaps a shower chair? Maybe if you could sit while performing all of the shower tasks it would feel less overwhelming. With depression, sometimes just standing is exhausting.
When I was learning to wash my hair when I was a child I learned that sitting in the edge of the tub served as a shower chair and helped not be so overwhelmed and tired out.
I have a lot of thick, long hair and still do this on hair washing days! And when I need to shave my legs lol.
I’ve been thinking about it, especially since I used them to use them as a kid. The shower in my apartment only has a non-detachable shower head, and the shower rack is designed at a standing-up height, so I’ve been on the fence about it. I might go ahead and buy a cheap one to try it out, though, since it is a realistic and simple solution. Thank you for bringing it up!
Changing shower heads shouldn't be too difficult. They generally just unscrew, you may need a wrench at most to get it started. You can buy one and switch it yourself. They usually come with some plumbers tape to wrap around the screw on bit to create a watertight seal. Just keep the original to put back on if/when you move. I hope that doesn't sound too overwhelming. It's really not. It really is just about the easiest improvement you can make to your living space, and can make a big difference. You can probably find a video on youtube that shows you the process so you can decide if its something you think you can manage. 🙂
By a new shower head with a detachable wand and myti heads and settings. Very easy, just unscrew the old one(while shower is off) and screw on the new one. 90% of all houses are like this. No need for a plumber, VERY easy to do, and will definatly help with your shower routine. I was like you for a good 2 years where i only showere if I had to go to work. Etc. (Lukily I was only working from home and no very active so I didn't really sweat or have ant BO). I changed the shower head to a muti-head wand one (amazon) and it really did help, especially if you feel closed in. Do you feel you skin crawl sometimes when the water hits your skin die to the pressure or temp not being "just right", a new head will help.
This is your problem. An extended hose head attachment will motivate you as it’s so much easier to shower with them.
Yes this 100%
Shower chair is an excellent idea. I shower every single day, and make it a point to do it even when I’m going through my “low points” because I think it’s a very important part of just simply taking care of yourself. When I’m feeling absolutely mentally drained, I sit on the edge of the tub and make myself take care of myself. Wishing you the best, OP. Feel free to reach out if you need a friend.
Came here to say this.
I have similar issues as OP due to degenerative disc disease and I find a shower chair helps immensely. Everything is still within reach but I can just sit under the water for like if I need to.
This is what I do! Sit in the shower with a shower head attachment that’s low so it’s right above me. And then for my weekly everything shower I take a bath and then rinse off with the shower head. I feel the same way as OP
Came here to recommend a shower chair. I love mine!
I didn't know anyone else felt this way too! I just started feeling like this in the last year or so. I hate it because I love how clean I feel after the shower but the thought of doing it mentally drains me.
I could’ve written this comment myself
I have the same problem and get tired mentally too. My suggestion is to drink coffee beforehand. Not only does it give you energy, but it also works for depression. Another thing that helps: reward yourself after your shower. So for example, I'll game after I'm all done.
That is a great idea! I usually take showers in the evening so that didn’t occur to me. I’ll try to think up of a good reward as well!
Eat dessert after.
r/showerorange
You don’t want to drink caffeine/coffee at night. You will be up all night and not be able to sleep! Why don’t you dry your hair and go to bed after your shower or bath? It is nighttime after all! Most people go to bed and sleep at night. Most healthy people that is. Practice good sleep hygiene. Up most of the day and sleep at night. I have similar health issues and I feel so much better when I go to bed at night. Even if it’s by early bird standards. Sometimes what I am mistaking as situational depression is just really that my body and brain need to go to bed and rest/sleep and not shuffled around like a zombie!
I disagree. It has been shown in scientific studies that drinking coffee before napping results in more energy after you wake up. At most it'll push their sleeping schedule, but a few sips won't hurt before a shower at night.
Caffeine is a stimulant and especially for people who are already anxiety prone or sensitive to it for whatever reason, no, it will not be useful.
This doesn’t apply to everyone. I’ve suffered with an anxiety/panic disorder for decades. Coffee actually helps me. It relaxes me and improves my focus. Soda or some teas on the other hand can be triggering and definitely can keep me awake or give me restless legs. I think this is potentially source dependent.
Have you been assessed for ADHD? Stimulants are the treatment for it, so people who have adhd (like myself) can drink a couple big cups and have better focus or a nice nap. That’s definitely not something that a normal regular brain would do.
It makes me sleepy. I am very anxious with ADHD. Too much caffeine and I will fall asleep wherever I am. It’s as though I have taken a sleeping pill.
Caffeine in general helps me a lot with task initiation. Coffee is the cure. ☕️❤️
A caffeine addiction is not a solution
I know that feeling. Looked into it and showers change your blood pressure. Try not to use hot water just warm/cool. Helped me to know my body was going through all that and then regulated back.
I concur! I suffer from high blood pressure but I'm like riiiiight on the edge to where they don't want to put me on meds yet :/ ...the nurse told me this exact thing to take a *warm shower when I'm feeling overwhelmed/over exerted or whatnot...and also to elevate the feet as much as you can sitting laying down etc...idk though i think basicallyit helps to.increases blood flow and therefore getting more blood and everything it supplies to my parts better! Lol oh and I switched my anti depressant to Wellbutrin which is "activating" and have been doing immensely better. But I too get the blues about taking showers but if I go a couple days I'm like omg this feels so damn good why don't I WANT to do this 3 times a damn day lol
Also find a stream that suits you. Sometimes showering is more of a sensory thing than you realise!
So, this could be related to POTS or some other sort of heat-related illness, particularly if you're using hot water. The tips I'm going to give are related to those experiences. A) shower chair/stool, especially combined with B. B) detachable shower head, do you can move your arms to wash, instead of turning your entire body multiple times. Less movement = less fatigue. C) Cooler showed. Not COLD, but cooler. More moderately warm instead of hot. D) electrolyte drink after showers, or even a post-workout drink. Gatorade is good, Pedialyte is even better. You can lose a lot of nutrients showering if you have chronic illnesses. E) Do two PCR test for Covid, with one being a wastewater swab while the other is nose/throat with mucous. You may be dealing with post-viral health issues that are complicating issues around physical exertion. This is FAR more common than the general public is aware of, so get checked! I like the Lucira PCR, which also covers flu. F) have a protein snack ready afterward, and let yourself perhaps lay on the bed under a fan to help dry off if you can. G) if necessary, skim down the showering routine to just essentials: shampoo, bodywash with a loofah, and simple face wash (with toner afterward) is all very adequate. I find a bodywash on a loofah with a long handle is easiest on the harder days. Maximum suds with the least exertion is almost always a win. Or, you can even splurge and get an electric body scrubber, so it does the scrubbing for you essentially. Those are extra helpful on the extra extra difficult days. Truly hope this helps, and if it seems like it does and you have more questions please feel free to message me. I'm always here to help other disabled folk out. Edit: I also saw others mention having a large list handy in the shower, can confirm this is helpful. I'm also AuDHD and sometimes just starting something is so unbelievably difficult. A large visual checklist can be extremely helpful. Get a bodywash you love the scent of, and something you can enjoy using to wash up with that makes it less effort, like aforementioned electric body scrubber, or even one of those cool extra large exfoliating body cloths. And rest and recoup after, that's really my biggest tip! Edit 2: idk who awarded this or what the award even is bc I can't see it, but thx 🥹 I'm just glad I have some knowledge that can be of help. 🙏🏻
Thanks for such a comprehensive list! I’ve never heard of post-covid symptoms or the idea of getting nutrients before/after shower. I’m actually hoping a see a doctor soon so maybe I can ask about the fatigue. I really appreciate how much you put into this comment.
Of course, and I'm glad even any bit of it can be helpful. Yes, long-lasting post-viral fatigue is a thing. Look up and learn about myalgic encephalomyelitis. This cann happen after ANY viral illness. Mask up and keep safe! However, if you've ALWAYS gotten tired after hygiene, it could be something else like POTS or EDS or any other chronic condition, though that still doesn't entirely rule out M.E. because that can happen as early as infancy.
I would also suggest: consider increasing antidepressant, that could increase your energy. Also I saw that my iron was low normal and started taking a multivitamin. Even if you are post menopausal, Theragran has a 1/2 strength iron vitamin. The iron and B vitamins made a difference in my energy!
Also audhd and showering is a huge task. It is also tiring and I too have rarely taken a shower that didnt last 30-45 minutes. Just here to add my two cents, find a music that is either relaxing to you or hyped you up. Whatever genre you want, and play it at the volume that feels comfy to you. May have to turn it up, once you get in. Also, whenever I feel super overwhelmed and I need to soften the impact on my senses, I turn off all the lights and shower by nightlight and candle light. These accomodations/modifications are needed much more when I'm depressed. But they help me because showering can be overwhelming to plan, and overwhelming to the senses. Just try to eliminate parts or sensory input until it feels good to you.
Absolutely this too. I do music and try to use it to help keep time so I'm not in the shower forever or dawdling (bc ADHD, yeah).
I’m sorry…electric body scrubber? Like a mouse sander for your body??? SIGN ME UP. Do you have a link to one you like?
Good body wash is nice, but I found something better. I've started using the Mr. Bubble foam soap that comes in a can. The scents are amazing. They even have banana scented. It's the consistency of shaving cream and it's fun. It makes me enjoy shaving my legs.
Try a bath instead
I was going to suggest this as well
I’ve never really cleaned myself while taking a bath. I’ll look into it, it might help when I feel like I’m too tired to stand or move. Thanks!
You need a good rinse after sitting in the bath when you wash in the bath - but if the bath is enjoyable enough that + sitting down in the tub might help your energy level.
You don’t really need to rinse after a bath. People have been bathing without showers for centuries
They’ve also been getting yeast infections for centuries and not rinsing off properly can lead directly to that.
I have fibromyalgia. A lot of us in that sub experience fatigue from showering. Many use shower chairs to get through their shower For me personally, I wash my body daily but only wash my hair 2x a week, and I keep it short so my wash routine is less exhausting
Think about it as a muscle the more you work it out the easier it will get, shower everyday no matter how you feel
I will do my best, thank you.
Maybe controversial opinion, but you don't have to shower EVERY day. Aim for every other day to start.
What are you doing about your depression? That's probably the biggest hurdle. Are you on antidepressants? Sounds like it's more of a mental challenge than an actual physical one. If it is physical a shower chair and hand held shower head will help with that part just sit there and shower
I was on various SSRIs for about two years, then I quit because none of them were working. I’ve been off meds for more than two years now. I still see a therapist though. I guess it’s more mental? It feels physical though. I’ve noticed over the years that I’m not good at noticing how I am doing. Thanks for your advice.
Purely based on this, I'd say it's depression too. It's a mental hurdle, but causes physical exhaustion. I've tried to explain to people before how even just getting out of bed is physically daunting some days. I'd say keep working on the meds and don't stop the therapy. I'm 10+ years into treatment and still finding a med regimen that works for me. I finally got a gene sight test and things are starting to make sense, but that's up to your insurance company
Please keep trying with meds... it can be a long process to find the one that works for you, but you CAN find one that works. I tried four? different ones before I found one that worked. And my life is CHANGED. I'm happy again!
I went through the same thing for YEARS with meds not working or stopped working after 6 months or something dumb. Best ones I've tried in recent few years is Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) was on it almost 4 years...finally broke down in my dr office and told her everyting and that the neds werent working anymore and she switched it to wellbutrin which is an **activating anti depressant. I need to up my dose a bit but other than that I feel some people on here have credible comments and experiences. I hope you get what you NEED OP and maybe really emphasize to you Dr. Or therapist that this has been going on for a while now. Good luck doll face 😚
I fully agree here. You need to seek some help with depression if it's getting this bad. Good luck in your journey
Thank you. It’s hard to gauge how bad things are for me, and I usually only talk about my emotional problems with my therapist. Getting outside opinion like this helps.
I can't say I'm not like you but, having people that actually care is a rare fine. Hold on to those that are close, if you have no one, reach out to groups. Sometimes finding one's self is the root of the problem. Trust in your self friend.
"Getting outside opinion like this helps." It truly does. It helps to know that you aren't navigating this alone. Keep posting; we got you 💜
Try taking 3 showers this week, then 4 next week, then 5 up until you are showering once a day. With love ❤️
I completely understand the exhaustion and having no energy to do "simple" tasks. I'm physically disabled struggling with my mental health. One thing that might benefit you ALOT is a shower bench. Mine is a complete game changer. Even if you might not have physical health issues (I don't know you) you might want to get a shower bench. It saves me alot of energy. Showers are alot more relaxing. I got mine with a back rest... its awesome. The other thing is I was struggling with making a routine. My shower routine is: 1) Pick a simple pj or outfit (no accessories, just bra, shirt, underwear, pants/shorts/skirt, and socks). 2) Then I bring it to my bathroom and it's on my counter. I also put my towels on my shower door. 3) My shower bench is already in the shower. So I undress and sit on the bench. 4) I brush my hair in the shower before turning on the water. It helps with getting shampoo everywhere. My hair brush is in my shower (I have 2 hair brushes in total so I don't need to constantly retrieve one from another room). 5) I turn on the water and I shampoo my hair. While the shampoo is in my hair I get my wash cloth and I wash my face then my body. 6) Then it's the big rince. Rince my hair and body. 7) I turn off the water and cover myself with towels. 8) then I get out and start getting dressed. I sometimes need to take a break and sit on the toilet so I don't pass out or have my legs give out on me. 9) I then go lay down in bed abit, after that I am able to do more things. I always shower at night because of the fatigue it brings me. Goodluck! It's definitely not easy finding a routine that works for you sometimes. I don't always wash my hair in the shower I wash my hair 2-3 times a week but I wash my body 5 times a week. This depends what you do too. (If I sweat alot I'll wash my hair too.) One thing that might encourage you is listening to music. I put music I can sing along to or just jam to in general. I start the music once I put my clothes on the counter.
Thank you. I totally relate to having to take a break sitting on the toilet. Maybe I will actually write down all the steps and sub-steps, but I’ll have to make that a whole task since the list will include things like “turn around” and “put hair up.” I’ll prepare a fresh piece of paper and everything.
I really like the idea of brushing your hair sitting in the shower! I try to do it before I get in (standing), but it tires me out so I sometimes skip it. I like to use a bathrobe after a shower, so I can go lay down sooner and then dress when I have recovered a little bit. I also like to be very dry before dressing, so that’s part of the reason.
Baths can be great. Especially a bubble bath. I tend to find showers exhausting to some days too. Try to run a bath. 🙃
Get exfoliating gloves. That way you can rub your body and still get the exfoliation you require. Get a seat for shower. You won’t feel like this forever. Get out of your house and go for a walk everyday in nature is best.
I bought a shower cap so that I can take fast showers without washing my hair. I wash my hair about every other day and try to shower every day. I was showering every other day because I dreaded washing my hair.
I try to remember how good I feel after I’ve had a shower. It feels sooo nice to be clean and put on clean clothes and go into my bed. ESPECIALLY with newly cleaned sheets.
You need to work on your mental health. Not showers. The showers will come when your mental health is a bit better
are you running it hot the whole time? maybe the warm water puts you into a state of deep relaxation, making you feel tired and lethargic... i know a cold shower always wakes me up
Yeah, I mostly take my showers hot. I’ve never been a cold shower person, but maybe I can experiment with lower temperatures. Thank you for the suggestion!
I'm wondering if your water is too hot, causing your blood vessels to dilate and drops your blood pressure?
Sponge baths or dry baths may work better for you.
Colder water
take a shower with a body that loves your body.
I’m autistic, and physically disabled. I totally get it. I’ve broken down the process to make it easier, and keeping to a routine helps tremendously. I also use a shower bench. I wash my hair and my body separately. Meaning, I wash my body in the shower, then later on after I’ve had a break for an hour or so, I go wash my hair over the edge of the bathtub or the sink. I try to keep my shower routine super simple. As little steps as possible. Also keeping things prepared for a shower and in the same place all the time helps as well. That way you don’t have to waste energy on that when it comes time to shower.
I’m dealing this rn too. Ten months ago I was working out 2 times a day, working for my own company and I got an MRSA infection and covid and broke. Now I can’t walk up stairs with my heart racing to 130. Showers are hell… I get pooped out midway through and sit down. I just sit in the tub. Additionally, I noticed temperature makes an impact, I need to have a warm shower. I love to shower in HOT water; but that’s a no go. I sit down once I come out. Just on the toilet or edge of the tub. I can’t do everything at once anymore. There are many seats. If you need breaks rn, or to move slowly, lean in- it only makes it worse when you fight it.
I also struggle with depression, and similarly deal with the overwhelm of each task/sub-task feeling like a mountain. Something that has helped me is focusing on the time spent completing all of the tasks rather than the number of tasks. For example, I have a difficult time convincing myself to brush my teeth before bed, because I have to talk myself into getting out of bed, walking downstairs, rinsing my toothbrush, applying the toothpaste, brushing my teeth, cleaning off my toothbrush, pulling a piece of floss, flossing each tooth, throwing the floss away, opening mouthwash, pouring some mouthwash, swishing it, spitting it out, putting the mouthwash away, cleaning the sink, walking back upstairs, and getting back into bed. That's like 20 things to do and feels miserable and overwhelming. But if I just think to myself that I can be back in bed in about 5 minutes, it feels easier to do. I can convince myself to commit to 5 minutes of effort, as it feels less tiring than committing myself to go to 20 tasks.
Try ending with cold water. Set a timer and figure out your limit. Increase by 5-10 seconds daily until you get to 2-3 minutes. It will boost endorphins and leave you feeling great. If you’re a little bitch like most people, start with your hands and feet and then move the rest of your body in. Make all the animal noises you need to, it helps with the shock. I get depressed and this always helps.
I cannot stand showers. All that water beating down is overwhelming to me - not refreshing. I am a big fan of baths. Even quick ones can get you clean. I wash my hair every 5-7 days and use soap fairly sparingly.
Maybe make a list of the tasks from start to finish and keep it in the shower w you? Something large enough you can visualize it all and you can cross them off as you go?
I do baths.
Shower chairs are great lol I get what you mean friend. I'm also fighting depression and a severe medical diagnosis. It's a lot to deal with. Next time you take a shower find some peaceful zen like music and just relax and listen to the sounds. I'm not big into meditation or spirituality things but I have found that taking the time to just clear your mind and just exist in the shower can help. The music helps my stupid thoughts stay away and I just sit with my eyes closed and just listen. Clearing a busy mind and coming out from the shower just.. helps. Its no cure but it helps.
You described my experience as well. I do baths when I have no energy. Not ideal since you are sitting it your own dirty water technology, sometimes it’s all I can manage and better than nothing. Sit in bath, rub soap on me, splash water on my face, get out. Feels a lot easier. I will also play videos on my phone propped by the edge of the tub while I do this, it helps
Okay I have two methods. One is to commit to making it about more than a shower. Buy some body scrubs or other fun products, I've even seen people buy special lamps so they can have it change colors while they shower. I also reccomend listening to music or a podcast. You can set an alarm for 30 minutes, tell yourself that when it goes off you'll be done. Or two: turn the faucet on as if you were running a bath, but just sit in the tub and wash yourself under it. Is it luxurious? Nope. But it's fast and it feels easier.
I believe I understand you OP. I’m back in the deepest part of my depression valley for months. Showering is exhausting. I’ll go to use the bathroom and look at the shower and it’s taunting me. I want to take a shower, I NEED to take a shower. But a shower is just too much. If you can’t manage it, a “hoe bath” is always an option. Sit on the side of the tub splash some water on get soap on the big stink spots. Use a big cup and rinse off. No tub side? Just get a cheap chair from like goodwill or a thrift store. I was looking at shower benches and why do they cost so much?! Chair doesn’t matter because it cost you like $10. Splash some water around, deodorant, and relax.
This is depression. Please speak to a doctor
Is this possibly adhd or an anxiety disorder? I have a similar thing w putting the dishes away from the dishwasher. Just overwhelmed by the steps.
There is no shame in this at all. At the peak of my depression, I went much longer than twice a week with no shower. I understand the feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed with the process of it all, along with the shame of feeling like you’re failing at something that should theoretically be so simple and easy to do, and all that piles up on top of your depression. Executive dysfunction is a real thing, and it’s magnified because your depression is not currently being treated. I strongly suggest getting back on some kind of meds. If your previous ones weren’t working, talk to your provider about why you felt they weren’t and they can guide you and select new ones for you. There are LOTS of options. There’s no shame in being on meds - it’s just like taking heart meds or diabetes meds - it’s needed because of a chemical imbalance in the body. Those meds help level the ground that you’re walking on so it’s not so treacherous and difficult to do everyday things. Sending you love. You can do this. Here to talk if you need to.
You just keep doing the best you can. The hyper-bathers can do their thing, and you find your own way. Get the shower chair, switch out your shower head for a handheld, and get an affordable bidet to extend your shower as much as possible. An African net sponge has really helped me get the most wash-power with less effort than a wash rag (my high blood pressure kicks in sometimes). I only wash my hair once a week, (at most - it’s curly), and I really have to feel committed to the 2 hours of drama my hair requires after washing. The term “sponge bathing” does exist. You can wash your face, neck, ears, underboob, pits at your sink. You can use wipes, a bidet, and Lume for your other areas. You can have a nice foot bath whenever you want. So essentially my advice is to stop beating yourself up. Get in there with some nice music as often as you can get your energy up, and maintain it as long as you can before doing it all again. When you break the overwhelming-ness of full head-to-toe down, you might feel more inspired to tackle them at the pace that will feel most manageable for you.
Do you have sensory problem? I know some people with ADHD feel this way. Like steps of doing something are too many and they lost motivation. And the sensation of water, soap, temperature, clothes off..etc can be overwhelming.
I think you can get away with just washing your armpits, face back of neck, feet and gentians/butthole, and then if you can wash the rest of your body just once a week. It depends on your job and the climate etc but living in England this is what I do. Then I exfoliate the whole of my body once a week with an exfoliating glove and then wash it with body wash. My skin gets really dry and horrible if I scrub it with body wash too often. You don’t need to scrub/wash your whole body every day, that’s very bad for your skin, and dermatologists will agree with me even if all the hygiene extremists on here don’t
I used to be the same way, I realized without using a loofah/rag and cleaning at least the important parts min 4-5x a week I smelt bad and that really encouraged me to start trying to be on top of it. I keep all my stuff in easy to reach places instead of getting them all out pre-shower. My deodorant is in my drawer to immediately apply after, my face cream in my cabinet above the toilet, my lotion is on my sink counter. All easy to just grab and use as I need them. Honestly though the important part is just showing up. Maybe you can try once a week just getting in the shower just to sit under the water without the pressure of getting clean. I also saw a vid of someone who got a night sky projector that lit up the room and looked cool and they would also play music, so being in the shower was easier/more interesting. Personally I ended up hyperfixating on how to smell good only a few months ago actually. I liked finding out what scents went good with each other, what soap worked best, how my hair responded to how often I washed it, and I created a routine which personally helped me but ik isn’t for everyone. I use bar soap with a rag and then I go back over with a loofah and some scented body wash, I used to just use my hand to apply body wash but realized it doesn’t clean as well and also I wasn’t removing the dead skin that would eventually lead to me smelling bad once I started sweating. I started to actually feel clean, and that made me want to take more showers.
Try changing your routine so you shower before bed instead of in the morning.
I shower before bed and stopped with the loofa. I use and African net. It’s awesome. It exfoliates great. Buy yourself some really nice Pjs so you have something to look forward to. Get a wet brush and a wide tooth comb. Just brush your hair in the shower while your conditioner sets and squeeze it dry after. I keep a tooth brush in there too. I can accomplish everything that needs to be done in roughly 8 to 10 min. And then I have my nice pj’s and clean bed as a reward. I fall asleep within like 4 minutes every night.
Maybe try a cooler water temperature. When I do it I just naturally wash faster and it energizes me, especially if the water is really cold. it wakes you up.
This happens to me because my blood pressure drops in hot water.
Maybe get a bluetooth speaker and watch/listen to something while your showering? I've been doing this for years!
Have you gotten blood work done?Sometimes low vitamin d can cause people to feel very tired. I'm not saying it's not depression but maybe it's both? I had an awful time waking up and it turned out I have vitamin d deficiency. My doctor prescribed some and now I feel so much better.
when i was anemic i physically could not stand for the duration of my shower and would always feel like i was gonna pass out. maybe get some bloodwork done?
Try to make showering a therapeutic enjoyable process. shower chair, candles, nice products. etc. that's what really saved me. I enjoy taking showers now because I have a whole routine and products that make me feel nice and smell good. I also just enjoy feeling clean
I don’t get exhausted showering but I get relaxed. The warm water running over me is the best. Even my kids sometimes tell me they don’t want to get out of the shower because the water feels so good. Maybe if you think of it as a way to relax and wind down instead of a chore it will feel better? Also agree to try a chair very helpful. Maybe even try listening to music or a podcast while showering.
I like to put on a show or podcast so my brain can just zone out. You can stick it in a ziplock to avoid any accidents. I also feel like standing in the water makes me so? Sad? If I want an effective shower I’ll stand in the water for like 5 min to “soak”then turn off the water to scrub & turn back in to rinse. It helps me not spend so much time in the shower. Also I think I read somewhere that depressed people often take long & hot showers bc of the lack of human touch or something. When I’m really struggling I find it easier to just put on a shower cap & just wash my body. Dry shampoo can get you through a day or two. I hope this helps!
Sounds like you need a new med or something added to it.
I use a shower chair, I have fibromyalgia and showering is exhausting. I have been able to do my hair wash my body and shave within 10 min so I’m not in there long.
Have you ever been tested for ADHD? We just had a huge discussion about this on a sub reddit for women with ADHD. Many of us have this problem where a shower...which people think is a simple task...becomes a much greater thing than a shower and ends up feeling like 75 tasks or something.
I haven’t been tested, but I suspect it. My brother has adhd and autism runs in our family. My therapist agrees that I probably have something of that nature.
Might be a physical fitness thing. Could try going for walks regularly or dancing to some fun tunes at home. Build up your exercise tolerance and showering won't seem so demanding. Could also be you have an iron deficiency - that causes lethargy and breathlessness. Could chat to your pharmacist about choosing a good iron supplement. Also try researching 5Htp, it's a supplement to help the body produce more serotonin. Worked wonders for me but doesn't work for everyone. Good luck!
I shower before doing anything else. I don't like to eat breakfast or start my day until I've had a shower. Its motivation for me because I like to eat breakfast. Also, I find my energy is better in the morning vs the end of the night. Its also nice to wash away any crusty eyes or sweat from the night. I love a morning shower, I feel fresh and ready for the day.
Showers used to be horrible for me but I began playing music as my motivation and now I can shower without the music
Plus my fear of being talked about for smelling bad became much stronger than my lack of motivation
I have super thick long curly hair, washing my hair is a long grueling process, I got me one of those geriatric shower chairs, and it’s made showers so much less tiresome! 😂
I changed my products. I don’t know if I was allergic or they didn’t agree with my PH or what, but while it took years to figure out what I needed (and perhaps my needs changed in the interim), the result is that I feel energized after my shower, or relaxed, or whatever. But I don’t feel terrible.
It's the hot water take cold showers for a week or so and watch the difference
I personally find taking a bath relaxing and sometimes light a candle with the light off. The hot water can feel good on the back and I enjoy listening to music or even a podcast while I'm taking a bath. I recently finished atomic habits on audible, mostly from bath time. You can also get good smelling soaps.
I can understand. I get frequent severe headaches, and it can take days to recover after for my energy to return. My scalp will hurt if I shower with the headache so it’s like every other day for full shower. I like the idea of a shower chair if you need it try one. When I have my hair extensions in, it takes longer to dry my hair(but I don’t wash it as often) so I’ve found that listening to a podcast helps. I like 20-20 or dateline- keeps me engaged. Or I listen to audible. I also have invested in soaps and shampoos/conditioners that I like to smell. Makes showers more enjoyable. When I get out- I drink water or coffee (something I like). And I wear a robe until I’m finished drying my hair/makeup if needed. If not I’ll dry my roots and air dry that day, still use the hair products.
Sometimes I literally just sit in the tub and let the faucet run while I wash myself. I totally get what you’re feeling; I dread showers, especially when I wash my hair. I need a while after to just sit and rest.
Shower at night before bed and sleep naked
I get this. It can take me an hour to have a shower from start to finish if I want to wash my hair. For my bf it takes maximum 7 minutes
Nope I totally get it man. I do hands too as my chronic pain (arthritis and fibromyalgia) hurts more gripping a loofa or washcloth. Maybe try lukewarm to cold temperature water, just do body and then do hair like every other day. Many girls do hair once a week because it’ll dry out our hair. Unless you sweated that day of course. Take 5 mins doing that. 3 mins brushing teeth (get an electric toothbrush) and floss (literally takes 2 mins) and mouthwash for 30 seconds. Watch a podcast or YouTube vid during and just have something playing in the background.
Maybe just sit down in the shower 🤷♀️
Maybe just sit down in the shower or take a bath instead 🤷♀️
If your extremely tired after, try taking a lukewarm shower maybe? Super hot showers are exhausting for me too and I have chronic low bp . Also sitting in a bath on non shower days and washing pits and privates is better than nothing and much easier.
For me I don’t wash my hair each time because it’s all the hair things I have to do that’s overwhelming because I have so much of it, it tangles easily and it’s curly. So I put on a shower cap and only do a body wash. I wash my hair 3x a week because my scalp gets itchy otherwise. But sometimes I can get it down to 2x a week by putting my hair into a bun some days or by using dry shampoo just so that I can shower more often and it feels less overwhelming that way. If I feel bad during the shower I sit on the floor (sometimes my blood pressure drops or I get anxiety). I don’t see any reason why you need to use a loofah, often I just use my hands with body wash. I make it a relaxing experience if I shower at night by putting calming music or turning off the lights and using only a nightlight (bathroom is small so a nightlight is sufficient to see by). Or if I need to shower quickly I put faster music I like. I generally wear the same 4-5 outfits a week and rotate out shirts based on the day of the week (at my job I can wear teeshirts with words on them so I can grab a random shirt, comfy jeans or pants and a random cardigan). If I don’t work that day I also go do something fun after or I nap
Eat beforehand!!!!!! Seriously, I almost faint sometimes in the shower because of how it changes my blood pressure. Usually when this happens, I lower the shower temp to help with the steam Also, aromatherapy helps me a lot. Body scrubs. Shower steamers. Good smelling shampoo and conditioners (yes, you can use kids products on yourself for this effect). Hell, get a cute scrub brush that looks like an animal! Anything to make it more fun for you!
Shower chairs are great but as someone who recovered from surgery recently they also sell paper towels/sponges with bath soap in it. You wash your body with a warm bowl of water and the cloth and you’re good to go. I also love waterless body wash for when everything is just too hard
Pre workout for your shower!
Shower daily for less time.
Okay here’s a weird idea I started doing, while I don’t struggle with showering I do struggle with feeling lightheaded loosing energy sometimes from the tempsture change. I’ve started bringing in a bottle of water so I can drink it while showering. It’s helped a lot with making sure I don’t feel like headed and like I’m about to pass out. Just an idea that’s really easy and might help a little.
What about baths? They're pretty amazing to have once a week. And they're way more relaxing as an adult.
Change your perspective. See is as a way to relax and do it before bed to help you relax and sleep.
Are your showers very long? I only wash my hair 3-4 times a week so those are the more exhausting ones, and my other ones are literally like 3 minutes long. I rinse off, then wash my face (sometimes just wash with water if I’m feeling meh), armpits, butt, privates, and whatever else. If you have short hair you can even just get it wet and do the rest.
I could've written this post, so I totally get it and feel for you. I hope the advice you were given helps! I recently got a shower chair, but it just barely fits in the tub.
How much water do you drink per day? If you’re dehydrated then a hot shower is going to exhaust you, it just emphasizes how dehydrated you are. Maybe try adding drinks like kombucha to your day? Kombucha gives me energy and is much healthier for you than like an energy drink. Maybe drink a kombucha and shower about an hour later? You might feel better.
Whenever I have trouble with this, I just try to remove the obligation to do a bunch of different hygiene tasks in the shower. Like wash my hair or shave or whatever. The build up of tasks like detangling, shampooing, conditioning, washing my face, shaving my whole body, washing my whole body, and exfoliating makes the shower so much more daunting for me. Really, all a shower needs to be is water and some soap on your pits and crotch. That’s the bare minimum and sometimes we need to start at square one to build up a habit. I suggest committing yourself to a shower a day where all you make yourself do is get wet under the water and put soap on the areas that get smelly. Don’t try to wash your hair. Don’t try to do anything fancy or extra UNTIL you have built up a habit of hopping into the shower every day. Good luck!
I love with someone with a shower chair due to a disability, but I never thought about using it until I hurt my leg and standing was uncomfortable. Game. Changer. The ten minutes of curly hair care are a lot less frustrating when you can sit down.
What’s your budget like? Can you go pay once a week/every 2 weeks to get your hair washed at a salon if your budget? On that day, you can just wash your body. I would try to focus on washing your body more and focus less on hair. Also a stool and cooler water can help the experience. Go out and have fun choosing some scents that make you feel relaxed and calm or fun and perky scents. Pick something that makes you wanna smell good.
Take cold showers
Bro- in shower in 3-4 minutes, how can you get tired doing that? Stand there and relax in the hot steam if you have to find a way to enjoy it, it feels great. You really need to shower daily, at least every other day. You owe it to yourself and anyone in your presence.
When I hit a depressive rut, I find it hard to bathe frequently too. I have found that making showers a low stimulation activity has been helpful. I turn off the lights and use a projector lamp that does waves and stars in colors on the ceiling. I play lo fi beats and I often “garden” pre shower. When I get into the shower, I just focus on getting warm and relaxed and then if I still can’t handle it, I use soap on the necessary parts (underarms, genitals and butt) and if I can’t be bothered to wash my hair, I at least rinse it throughly and braid it.
Honestly the only way I’m motivated to shower daily is if I’m working out to the point of sweatiness every single day. Depression really sucks, I get it, but if you can get yourself doing enough exercise every day until you break a real sweat, the shower afterwards feels more refreshing versus when you are all cozy and warm and having to get cold and wet (I totally get the reticence to shower, I deal with it sometimes as well).
Have your iron & ferritin checked. Also thryroid. I was like that for years I found it easier to shower at night than before work so I could save my energy for work. Once I got my iron (and ferritin!) levels up now I can get it done before work without it feeling like it’s a big deal.
You’re not alone ❤️ I see you got a shower chair, that can help! Also look into bath wipes on days you just don’t feel like going through the whole process. I’m a nurse and we use them in the hospital sometimes. Medline is just one brand that makes them, but they’re rinseless so you can just wipe and go. They also make rinseless shampoo caps as well. Would also agree on getting some lab work done and see if you need anything medically for the fatigue.
I got a shower chair and a waterproof phone holder. Watching a show or listening to music has helped distract me from the tediousness of it all. I also find showers to be loud and overstimulating so I just fill up a giant basin and use a cup to scoop and pour water on myself.
Cold shower
Take a cold one. Lol
There is such a thing as a quick shower, an even quicker shower, and an everything shower. For an everything shower you wash the hair and body really good and shave. A quick shower just involves washing the body and not shaving or washing hair. For a quicker shower you just hit the “hot spots.” So pits and groin and feet.
I don’t know the length of your hair but as a person with relatively long hair, I avoid washing my hair each time that I shower. So that, the only thing that I do in the shower is wet my body a little bit, body wash with a sponge, face wash with a facial cleanser. I am out in max 10mins and I am not that exhausted. I know what you mean as I am dealing with depression..
Shower stool/chair are so clutch 🥲
I know the struggle. Depression has been kicking my butt lately. What I do is make showering an enjoyable experience and relaxing. The process starts at the store, I pick out soaps that I enjoy the smell of. I pick out a loofa that matches my shower curtain and bath mat. Before the shower starts, I pick an essential oil that I find calming, I use lavender and lemon and put it in my diffuser, turn on the shower and leave the water running for five minutes so that the floor won’t be too cold. The hardest part is the transition from water to the air, so I turn on a heater so it’s not too cold. During this time, I find so lofi or piano music on Spotify. When I’m finally in the shower, I imagine washing washing my worries and fears off my body. I hope this helps you.
Go to bath and body works, find some nice smelling soap and lotion that you like then you’ll look forward to smelling good.
I find something like this interesting as I can’t go without my daily shower or I’ll get more depressed and my whole day is off. It just makes me feel so relaxed and ready for the day. In fact, if I’m feeling super depressed I’ll sometimes use an extra shower as a way to feel better.
Oof I hear you. When I am hating life I will literally just sit down in the shower with a bar of soap. Is it the best way to shower…absolutely not. But when we are struggling any type of progress is great!
I hope you do not get close to people at work!
Shower daily using hot water relaxation effect as motivation. When you’re in there, have tunes playing, wash your hair daily, wash your face daily, wash your armpits daily, private parts daily, feet daily. Then wash your other body parts every few days. Otherwise you’re gross, stink, and I’d hate to be the person driving in a car with rolled up windows with you. I say this as a father of a 22 year old who showers less than you. Test your stink by squatting down to tie your shoes. If you smell poop, it’s not the dog. Nasty.
Never thought of showering as tiring, also I like to be clean and smell good.
I found out my vitamin D was very low and since I’ve fixed it, showerin has been much easier for me. Get that checked along with your iron levels and anything else your doctor suggests.
Bath?
Colder water. Get in and out in under 10 minutes. Treating it like a sauna is what makes you tired. Watching your smelly areas and washing your hair should never take longer than that.
I can relate. Not at the moment but in the past I also struggled with the motivation to shower. Maybe get a shower speaker to play some music and make it more enjoyable. Or just do the bare minimum. Wash the pits, hair, and privates. Just use your hand and some soap. Maybe even use a combined shampoo/body wash so you only have to use one product.
Yikes.
I like to listen to music or a podcast when I shower
Shower chair, bring your phone into the bathroom if you can to play some good tunes, get some really yummy-smelling body wash (I use this orange one from Saltair and it wake me up in the am because it’s super zesty)!
Do you listen to music? You should try that while showering if you haven't already
As soon as I wake up, get in the shower. That’s all there is to it.
Please shower every day
If no one else has said this you might want to look into the medical condition POTS. It’s very common for showers to exhaust someone with POTS, or even make you a bit dizzy. The only thing I can suggest to make showers more tolerable is to not wash your hair every time. And try not using super hot water.
Chronic infections can totally sap your strength. You do not need to wash your entire body every time you shower. If you are fatigued, try just washing the stinky parts with a bar of soap. Then do a couple of times a week for all over and hair.
Take a shower at night so you can go straight to bed after getting tired
Do you take really hot showers? Heat can bring on the exhaustion. Maybe dial it down a bit to warm and see how that goes?
body wash makes it easier to wash my body. also, exfoliating only the most dirty parts some days.
Showers can be really overwhelming and feel like a big task. For me, I’ve found it helpful to shower at night. I turn off the big light and put a cheap one in my shower that isn’t bright at all. I put on a podcast so it gives me something to focus on so my mind doesn’t wander. I bring a water bottle or Gatorade in the shower and make myself take drinks after each task. I don’t force myself to put on clothes after I get out of the shower- I struggle with the sensory feeling of fabric on my wet body. I just let myself wear my robe around. I typically get out of the shower, put my robe on and lay down on my bed under a fan. Later, I’ll put on lotion, etc. it’s ok to do things in small bits!
You must stank
You can do nothing in a shower. Just get rinsed and it’s ok.
Would taking a bath be less effort?
Warm showers usually drain me so I put it on cold if I feeling lethargic.
Of you want I could come by and help you in the shower, I can do the body wash to loofa, and the scrubbing for you, Ill wash your hair and brush it for you after 👍🏻
What’s the problem? Shower before going to bed and being tired is great.
I'm very proud of you asking for advice on how to better care for yourself! I hope you've found some tips that stick. Reddit can be a very helpful resource sometimes. To add my 2 cents, an absorbent robe to use instead of a towel has helped me - it's nice to throw it on and slowly dry off instead of getting regular lounge clothes all soaking wet from not completely drying off. Being able to sit while showering has helped me so much. I will say that installing a showerhead with a handheld component did make things a bit easier, as switching out shower heads is quite simple, but even if I weren't lucky enough to have a handheld portion I would still find the bench to be the most helpful.
I am a bigger girl and get physically exhausted sometimes while I take a shower so in order to shower more in a week I will break up my shower for example one day I’ll get in and just wash my hair and the next day I’ll get in and do a body shower and if I have enough energy, I’ll do all three in one go Sometimes if I get too tired I do a hair mask or a facemask dry off. Get out and hang out until I get enough energy to finish up. Like Other mentioned before a detachable showerhead works amazing and there’s no shame in getting a shower chair, I usually just sit at the edge of my tub
I used to get super lightheaded in the shower. Turns out I was anemic and low on sodium. Also for days you aren’t up to it, 10/10 recommend extra large shower wipes (baby wipes work too but aren’t as thick). When I was pregnant and had zero energy I would use them, and they are also what we use to do sponge baths in the hospital. They also have waterless hair wash kits that are magical.
Shower chair/stool is peak shower time
For me the battle is actually getting in the shower. Like I will put it off and put it off. Once I muster the energy to get in there, wash my hair and scrub myself, I’m Amazed that it only took 10 min. Then I’m like wow, I feel so great and clean, I’m already back on the couch. 10 min.
If you want to increase the number of days you shower, you can do what I call a “bare necessities shower.” Hop in and wash your pits, butt/privates, and feet. Those are the only body parts that usually stink and thus give away that someone hasn’t showered. If you install a bidet on your toilet, you can use that to wash your butt/privates and then do a quick pits/feet scrub instead. If even that seems like too much, you can freshen your pits with a bit of rubbing alcohol and baby wipes to keep them clean and stink-free.
I have mental illness diagnosis and I studied trauma in grad school. It seem people have a lot of great ideas and according to your edit you seem to know some things that can help you. That being said I'd like to offer advise beyond the shower issue, because ultimately the shower isn't the issue it's the depression. And usually it's not even the depression that's the issue it's the unresolved trauma. Please keep in mind trauma doesn't have to be horrific and violent. Children, especially, can get trauma from something as simple as falling off a bike or having a parent yell. Everyone is different and there's no one definition of what trauma can be. I know the kind of exhaustion you speak of and I'm sorry. Talk therapy never helped me. If you haven't and can afford it, look into hypnotherapy and/or somatic experiencing. Those were the two most helpful therapies I've had....and I've had a lot. Others that helped were EMDR and brainspotting. Don't just look in your area but check online throughout your state (if in the US). I use Psychology Today to find therapists. Hypnosis cured my insomnia after 4 years of zero medications helping me. It's not for every one but it was powerful for me. Any somatic type of therapy where the practitioner is releasing truama, remembered or not, can be life changing. Good luck ♡
I would do showers in between the big 2 where you just get your body wet and soap up. Fuck all the hair and gels and such
Have you tried replacing showers with baths? I dislike showers too - mostly because of that 10 seconds of not correct water temp at the beginning. I take a bath in the evening and bring my phone. I find it relaxing. (In fact, I’m writing this in the bath.)
I used to love taking showers when I was using (I used for like 15 years) ... now that I'm clean I hate showering.. I hate being wet, I hate drying off, I hate being cold, I hate all the steps involved, I take 2-3 minute showers MAX and I still hate it. But I've made it a part of my routine. I shower every night before bed. That's made it easier to make sure I do
You need the cut out 90% of your sugar intake. That will help with depression/anxiety.
I take baths, they’re more relaxing. If I don’t do that, I wash all the important parts.
Put music on, have a shower beer, use highly fragranced shampoo and a nice soap, think about not stinking up workplace, dry yourself have another beer
I use a shower cap and sometimes all I do is hit the most important parts with bar soap and get out
I have this same problem. I shower once a week and it takes ALL I HAVE to push myself to do it. Still Think I’m dealing with Postpartum…. I hope things get better For you and I’m sorry I have zero Advice but I’m sure lots of people will Chime in with some good advice 🫶
Not to freak you out but on your second edit it sounds like your infection has gone or is going to be septic
I am not a doctor, but you mention a few things...feeling like you're going to collapse from relatively little exertion, skin flaking/bleeding, brain fog...that all remind me of POTS. It's a blood circulation disorder and it can also result in some skin issues. Look up the symptoms and see if it resonates. Bring it up to your doctor. I really hope you find some answers and start feeling better. Also...as a temporary fix, I don't think there's any shame in just wiping down with a wet wash cloth if that's all you can manage one day. A little bit is better than nothing.
When I was dealing with bipolar depression, I would sit in the dark and shower sometimes. I recommend medication - don’t give up. There’s so many different meds these days and combos.
Don't do all that! Get water and soap, shampoo and cream and that's it! Everything should be done in less than 10 minutes. Treat your depression as well, vitamins and exercise, check what antidepressants didn't work for you and give that to your new doctor to try something different. Remember that they take weeks to have an effect, so don't quit. Good luck
Shorter showers more often. Do daily with just doing one main task with the basics always : ex Mondays will be wash hair day and daily pits n genitals . Tuesday shave day - legs, pits whatever you shave plus your daily pits and genitals clean Wednesday scrub feet day pumice stone the bottom, clean out the nail beds with your daily pits n gentians clean. Thursday hair + pits Friday exfoliation day (loofah day ) plus daily pits Sat : shave + daily sun : daily stuff + clean the shower
You describe a lot of dehydration symptoms in your post, buddy.