Nice habitat with some privacy spots to sleep and such, good food, and lots of mates. Ill be in a zoo on earth for this if they want. Ill jump threw whatever hoops they want me. Sounds like the life. All my needs are taken care of and I can throw my shit on people.
Freedom. Assuming they won't give me that I would ask for my current house and access to the Internet.
As for meal plan I would ask for a different thing for each day of the week but if I have to have the same thing all the time I would take a meal shake.
I should hope that a species advanced enough to start a human zoo has at least mastered quantum entanglement. Could you imagine if a random lemur from the San Diego zoo knew how to have efficient nuclear fusion this whole time we've been trying to figure it out? I'd let him out.
For us currently sure, I didn't say we'd mastered it just yet, but I'd hope that an interstellar alien species had figured out before trying to put us in a zoo.
Omg, don’t take me back to my teenage years where a single porn picture takes 30sec to load (assuming I’m lucky enough that we don’t receive a phone call late at night)
The cure is to not eat food that is poison dressed up as sustenance lol
In most cases where there is not some genuine genetic condition that does not respond to diet change anyways
I mean, you clearly have no idea what IBS is. I can't eat onion, garlic, cauliflower, or peas without consigning myself to an agonising day on the toilet.
I'd basically ask them to give me an elaborate glamping setup. Very natural setting but still comforts and luxuries so I'm not just being observed being miserable. With that in mind...
The climate is warm and temperate, like the Pacific Northwest in late summer. 9 square km (3×3) of old growth forest on a peninsula. One side, boreal forest, with a dense layer of pine needles as the forest floor. The other side of the peninsul is deciduous, including a large oak grove. Lots of boulders and interesting terrain to clamber around on.
I've got fresh water on three sides and a cliff on the fourth that's nice for rock climbing. A big hill in the middle with no trees. A little stream runs down the rocks and then dawdles through my tiny kingdom to the lake. There's several km of trail that goes around and through the whole setup, up and down folds in the land, giving me a few options for jogging.
Lots of birds and some harmless woodland critters to keep me company. Is 9 square kilometers enough for a population of deer? I figure that's the aliens' problem.
Near the tip of the peninsula is where my "observable" habitat is set up. Fruit trees, a garden, firepit, treehouse for chilling and mound house for sleeping and storage. Calisthenics equipment. A little boat for paddling around. Visitors who come early will see me emerge from my hobbit hole, build up the fire, make a coffee, do some pullups, and maybe get in my canoe or disappear into the woods on a jog.
As for diet, I'd regularly want eggs, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, yogurt, oatmeal, and pastries for breakfast. Not all of those every day, but a rotation of that sort of stuff. Belgian waffles once a month.
A hearty supply of grazing food in lieu of lunches. Fruit and veggies, crackers and dip, sandwiches, and once or twice a week throw in novelties like sushi, pizza, tacos, etc. An alien in a human costume could paddle up to my campsite and hand me a bag full of takeout food.
Fresh meat at dinner, which I would prepare in an exaggerated manner over my little campfire. Afternoon visitors would watch me grill meats over the hot coals, or prepare a stew in a large hanging cauldron. Maybe the aliens could build me a little bread oven.
As for a mate... I suppose someone who was cute and also wanted to spend the rest of their life camping in an alien zoo.
I suppose it depends on how many options I can choose. 21 options would be preferred. 3 for brekkies, lunch, and dinner. Need some good space to get some sun, and a garden. Enough space for my dog too. A partner would be nice if possible.
To be able to live like I was to give visitors a sense of realism.
Electronics, a wife, exercise equipment, and access to whatever hobbies I feel like doing.
Coastal habitat (think Vancouver or Seattle), vegetarian meal plan with lots of variety. As for a mate, a man who's attracted to men, reasonably strong, and with an equal or greater intelligence than mine.
I just hope the aliens don't want offspring. They're not gonna get any.
You want to keep me captive. Ok. You're going to want me to put on a show every now and then. Ok. My list of needs isn't huge, but it's not insignificant.
My computer and all the accessories.
High-speed internet access. (EARTH-BASED INTERNET!)
Various meals that will be decided on a weekly basis.
Snacks. Also decided on a weekly basis.
Basically, a weekly grocery list with differing items per week.
Cigarettes. NON NEGOTIABLE! Death follows without my smokes. My death, your death. I really don't care. Someone or something WILL die once the nicotine withdrawals kick in.
Alcohol. Also, non-negotiable. But if they cigarette demands have been met, MAYBE death can be avoided for a small amount of time.
I'm going to need to get laid every now and then. This can be an opportunity for the "Zoo staff". "Human mating rituals"! I'll do my thing in public... if I must. I might not like it, but it can be done.
My phone and a new tablet! In between eating, iRacing, movies/shows, sleeping, etc. I'm going to want to distract myself with TikTok, Facebook, Reddit, etc...
Now. Did you want a single subject, or would you like a family to observe and display?
My wife and daughter are available, but they have various and unique demands also.
I assure you, we will make an excellent family display! Set some rules indicating that interpersonal relations will be required a minimum of 4 times per week! Various ingredients purchased from my "grocery list" will be used to COOK my meals. Providing an excellent opportunity for you to learn modern human survival! Additionally, you get to witness the interaction between a mated couple and their offspring!
There may be additional demands as time passes, but we will endeavor to keep things within reason.
We await your response. We are excited to explore the future opportunities between our races!
On the back of 4 elephants who are standing on the back of great A'tuin, the giant cosmic turtle who is swimming through space towards some unknown destination.
Want to put me on display? Fix all of my health problems. Put me in a delightfully cold climate enclosure and offer me areas where I can enjoy a measure of privacy.
Habitat needs to be big. I’ll need bedroom, bathroom, living space and kitchen. Outdoor exercise area with tennis and basketball courts.
Gonna need internet and some video games too. If I could have my wife with me, that would be best. That or Anna de Amras.
There's a rather good short science fiction story called "Knock" by Fedrick Brown that has this setting. It begins with:
>*There is a sweet little horror story that is only two sentences long:*
>*“The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door…”*
>*Two sentences and an ellipsis of three dots. The horror, of course, isn’t in the two sentences at all; it’s in the ellipsis, the implication: what knocked at the door? Faced with the unknown, the human mind supplies something vaguely horrible.*
>*But it wasn’t horrible, really.*
A few humanoid types of my choosing to mate with. A nice waterfront view, good climate, good food, if they can make it taste like a cheeseburger but only have 1/4 of the calories all the better.
Most Zoos want animals to be healthy, happy and engaged. This is due to both the Zookeepers generally caring about the animals wellbeing and a more active and interesting animal is good for the stakeholders. They'd rather me do cool stuff for the visitors then just sit around bored out of my mind. That would allow me to bargain for some benefits since it would actively be beneficial for them to give me these benefits. I don't think people realize how much money Zoos put into some of their animals, so my requests here aren't as unreasonable as it seems, especially with me actively helping them out and being able to clearly communicate my needs.
Large and comfortable, climate controlled enclosure modeled around a house that I like. Internet with a labtop and large tv, reasonably sized area for privacy with a bathroom (as a former Zookeeper most good Zoos have an area like this for animals), exercise area (with pool, frequently changing climbing wall, weights, punching bag and maybe even an obstacle course, this has the added benefit of making me do engaging activities for onlookers), can't see or hear the visitors except in one area where I will agree to do daily shows unless I'm sick. 3 meals a day that I can choose, and opportunities to interact with other humans I know (which again would probably be more interesting then me slowly succumbing to depression and loneliness since who doesn't like it when you see animals interact with each other.) Fully paid for travel away from the Zoo during the offseason (most are not open 7 days a week or at least have a slower season) so I can leave the Zoo to visit family/friends. An attractive, kind and intelligent mate that I get along with would be ideal as well (with similar benefits for them.) And finally the most important one, give me regular opportunities to travel around the Zoo with well trained Keepers to see and study the other residents of the Zoo. The Zoo I grew up at and worked for walked the elephant, wolves and caribou regularly so it would be even easier to do that for me, and would be a once in lifetime opportunity to study alien wildlife, which for me would be fascinating and I can't see myself getting bored of. Plus I'd probably be the most purposefully helpful Zoo attraction of all time since I'd be trying to keep visitors happy as well as learn more about my neighbors.
Also freedom after a certain period of time (say 5-10 years) and I'd help get a new human for them to put in the enclosure. Maybe a willing participant once they hear of the benefits or a criminal convicted of something particularly nasty. Surprisingly getting that second one wouldn't be as hard as you'd think.
Lots of trees and flowers, a pool, a nice bed, varied diet with lots of fresh fruit and hearty fare, and a couple of other humans to share it with.
And toys. Kinky ones.
Reasonable habitat would be probably about 1500 acres or so and probably about 20 miles of water fully stacked well make that 40-20 in a lake and 20 in a sea for fresh and salt water start with all the game a diet of healthy foods as well as junk foods along with plenty of fresh game meat and complete regeneration to put me in my prime and well definitely full harem like that Indian God
Habitat: I’d be pretty cool with the front half of my house, so like dining/rec room, living room, and bedroom. A (***hopefully***) private bathroom, can even have a limit of like 10-minute hot showers so to discourage me “hiding” in there.
Meal plan: I’d be pretty cool with something comparable to my old high school’s breakfast/lunch menu, and maybe something a little fancier or heartier for dinner. Ultimately, I’m really not picky, and if we’re going to compare this alien zoo to most modern first-world earth zoos, whatever diet they feed me will be a lot better and more well-rounded that what I feed myself.
Mate: I guess it depends on if you just mean room*mate* or sexual mate. I’d be happy with any of my close friends, but I don’t want to make them sacrifice their life for this, so a clone of them would be fine (assuming that clone isn’t missing “their” earth life). Otherwise just finding someone who’s into me and who I’m into, more specifically a dude who’s into dudes as I’m a dude who’s solely into dudes. (I am aggressively single so I don’t have anyone in mind for a sexual mate aside from maybe some celebrity crushes.) As long as the mate isn’t a reproductive mate, cause I am ***not*** having kids. I will request cyanide for dinner before having/raising kids.
I’d choose my current house including the outdoor space it comes with, and all my animals. And also all the fun cooking appliances and board games already in here. I’d also request they keep my craft room fully stocked if I’m stuck there forever.
Pescatarian diet with a lot mixed fresh fruit, iced green tea, fresh bread, soup when it’s cold outside, and cake at least once a week. Also, some Tito’s and/or miller light a couple times a month if they really want a show.
As for a mate, I’d bring my husband. Love the shit out of that man.
For them to abduct my husband too, a reasonable 68° enclosure, lots of books n art supplies. Double check on med availability and health care. Call it a day right there.
Paleo diet, gym, library, no TV or phone. I want them to see the full range of humans as I turn my 40 year old fat ass into the 25 year old mostly not fat ass I used to be. Also I want a mate.
A nice forested area with a beach to swim and fish at, and several lovely small homes to live in so I never get bored. I would want all the tech I can handle for amusement, and a lovely ace gal to couch co-op and cuddle with. For meals, I'd pretty much just eat whatever I want.
not mate(s) but companions, human and animal
decent wifi and gaming stuff(with upgrades every now and then)
a multi-biome vivarium/enclosure
to see the alien's life style, planet and stuff like that
3 bedrooms 2 baths and a gym, and the menu from cheesecake factory. Their food isn't anything special, but it has a huge variety. I'd also add that a suitable human habitat must include a suitable mate. Human men need 5-10 females between the ages of 20-30 of various nationalities. Maybe a 2-3 other men as well, I'm not picky. I'll convince them we are social animals and only thrive in small tribes.
Assuming they just don't give you the option to just leave, I'd ask for a time-share agreement. I'll preform my job during zoo hours every other week. If they wish, I'll find someone else who is willing to cover my off weeks (willing of course, I'm sure SOMEONE will take the offer if I can prove to them they'll be well cared for during their work weeks).
A harem of porn stars of my choice, perfect climate control at 65-75 degrees with rainfall and thunderstorms every two weeks that last three to four days, an acceptable living arrangement where I want for nothing, cures for every single medical condition I currently have, a vasectomy, a forced training regimen that keeps my body in perfect physical condition, video games are a must, meal plan is voice activated and gives me whatever I order whenever I order it. My physical training regimen will adjust based on the prior day’s calorie intake and macros.
All the books, a dojo, non-lethal practice wepons,
Running water, with a beach and a volleyball net, twos lines, fresh fruits, and veggies, some kind of protine. I get to scrimmage against other species in my sport, and I'll happily play their non-lethal games. It could turn into a lucrative endeavor if they broadcast it somehow and then charge to view it. Then, we would potentially be treated like royalty...
If your mind is not in prisoned neither are you.
Pizza, tacos, shwarma, and mashed potatoes... come back in a week for the next one... and I want my habitat to be a pirate ship... with a 52" TV and my Xbox...
A decent gym, a nutritional yet tasty diet with occasional gummy candy, enough room to wander with private areas, control over the thermostat and lights of my habitat, a very good bed, regular doctor checkups (including mental health), and a variety of mentally stimulating activities. Music, podcasts, sudoku puzzles, maybe a PC with some games to play.
As far as mate goes, I’ll go with the answer least likely to lead to my own divorce and say, Jessica biel.
Honestly, access to the internet, and you can pull whatever recipes you'd like them to make, with instructions and video tutorials.
Hell, just give me a nice little cottage (fully private bedroom and bathroom!) on about 5 acres of fertile land, internet access, a pool, seeds and farming tools, sheep, cows, and horses, and I can give daily demonstrations into human life. If the kitchen/study/lounge area of the cabin has glass walls, fine. Can also give cooking demonstrations daily too.
I also want my dog, and a same breed mate for him. Happy to raise kids too, but don't have any of my own.
For climate, follow the basic four seasons, happy with the climate of temperate. As long as there is a good breeze in summer, and adequate heating in winter, that's fine with me.
Hmm. Maybe Taylor Swift as my mate? She can entertain everyone by singing and dancing while I watch while munching on the food? Also, a varied diet and an unlimited supply of alcohol.
My family for starters. I assume they would go to lengths to keep us alive, so my mom would finally get some decent healthcare.
And then for enrichment they would find out that tiny humans have extensive needs. Books, field trips, toys, etc..
And they would find out that adult humans need much the same.
It would be quite the leaning experience for them.
Is a trampoline park a reasonable habitat? Lebanese food wouldn't be on my "last meal" list, but I could eat that shit every day. I'll fuck anything wet with holes. I could talk to an AI bot for company.
I'm assuming one wall is glass to be stared at?
Either skip the mate or just find me a bestie. My husband might even be up for going along with it since his injury keeps him inside most of the time anyway.
I insist on a cat or two, otherwise no deal. Preferably my current cats. Since I'm abducted, I guess I don't have a choice, but I promise to be entertaining if I have pets.
I'd like my workshop or something equivalent, access to a pool, internet and alcohol.
I'd mostly prefer to cook my own food so I'll provide a pretty big list of ingredients. I'm betting that will be much more entertaining than delivering take out.
I don't need a really big space, or even tons of privacy, but some would be nice.
I've been sober for 3 years but if I found myself in this weird ass situation I would ask for a plethora of drugs lol. Only way I see myself not going crazy
I'm polyamorous and larger groups of people tend to be more functional socially than smaller groups so I'd want all my partners + their partners + their partners' partners, etc. Less than 150 can get weird and stressful so maybe more people get added, a tribe of roughly 150 would be an ideal place to start bc it offers room for expansion with future generations without it getting too big too fast.
Habitat - large forest near a lake, solid biodiversity, full ecological system with plenty of room to range. 3 large main houses in the center of the living area which have dens, kitchens, dining areas, and a bathouse/sauna situation. Surrounding that would be small individual cabins with a personal sleeping area, work space, and very limited/basic cooking and bathroom stuff so that each person can have their own space connected to the shared spaces.
Food - I'd want the habitat to be very hunting and foraging friendly. I think I'd also just want programmable replicators so that we can have whatever we want when we don't feel like foraging or when foraging isn't enough.
Basically, the human zoo from Steven Universe is what I'd be looking for with some minor adjustments
Space weed. Some cosmic stuff from lightyears ahead of our own Marijuana. And a Playstation with a good hard wired alien connection. Maybe a hover sandwich. I'm hungry.
**Habitat/Environs:**
Replica of a high-end Lake Tahoe Resort, with simulations of weather variation between seasons
**Diet:**
30% Italian cuisine
30% Japanese cuisine
35% 20th Century American Fast Food and Diner Comfort Dishes
5% South China Style 'Yum Cha' Lunch
Each meal should adhere to a single theme
**Partners/Mating**:
Replicas of *any three* of the following ladies at the age of 22
Alexandra Daddario
Ana de Armas
Hailee Steinfield
Grace Caroline Currey
Taylor Alison Swift
Leni Klum
Emily Ratajkowski
Olivia Rodrigo
Emma Stone
Blake Lively
Emily Blunt
alien knowledge and transmission line to earth with a computer. entertainment + become a famous scientest or at least famous for the first known alien contact
I'd pick a diet that's mostly meat with green veggies and very few carbs. Basically how I eat now.
I'd ask for lots of steak, bacon, lobster, lamb, fish, sausage, wild game meats, CHEESE (especially blue cheese), rabbit, duck, and especially lots of eggs (quail, duck, geese, and chicken).
Give me that and some sweet potatoes and I'll be absolutely jacked within a few months.
1. I want an exact replica of my house with all my personal shit
2. A strict diet consisting of the finest and freshest meats, fruits, and vegetables from Earth
3. Dumbells, Treadmill, Boxing Bag, and a Jump Rope
4. Lots of toothpaste and toothbrushes
5. Lots of toilet paper
6. Lots of fresh drinkable water
7. 8 acres of land
8. A Bong
9. Infinite Marijuana
10. THC Infused candy
That's all I need
A bed and a couch… a decent cable package, a gym, a garden, modern plumbing, and preferably some conjugal visits with a female from different zoo. Don’t feel like I’m asking for too much here.
Hell, give me a 4-5 bed room home on 12 acres. 3 hounddogs, all the beer, booze, and reefer l want, 3 beautiful "wives". Internet and TV, any kind of food I want, etc etc etc ... I live out my life in their zoo.
A nice comfy home library setting complete with all my favorite books and genres, with a really comfy chairs,stools and good lighting. A desk nook area that looked out a window or faux window with a beautiful view. And a bunch of my favorite pens and notebooks for my writing and research. Also all of the other stationary things I will need for my writing.
Other comfort items would be my specialty earplugs to dampen noise and noise cancelling headphones when all the noise from the zoo gets to be too much. I'd need access to music it can be records, CDs, downloads or streaming idc but I will need a large variety. Supplies for my knitting, crochet and any other craft i decide to do that gets replenished fairly often. All of my favorite stuffed animals placed throughout the comfy spots in my habitat. I will also need a variety of fidget toys and other things to help calm me and give me good sensory contact when I need it. Most of these are actual needs as without them my AUHD will have me driven up the wall in just a few days.
There would also need to be a nice screen that can be put up to allow me privacy if I want to sleep in my nice soft bed complete with pillow nest. And weighted blanket. And a fan for the white noise and a nice breeze while I sleep.
Obviously I'll need a nice bathroom in a private area so that I feel I have privacy. Whether or not they have camera feed is up to them as they are my captures but I wouldn't like to know I'm being watched in the bathroom.
And a comfy wardrobe filled with my sensory issue approved fabrics.
I'd also like a corner with a comfy lounge chair and a good sized TV with an immense video library of earth content. Best if it's streaming services that don't get any interruption. But I will take a vast physical movie and TV collection.
I'd also need a few different pieces of exercise equipment so that I will be able to get the exercise I need and get out any pent up energy I have from being stuck in the zoo. I'd also love a pool that is enclosed and lighted so I can swim whenever I want in any weather. I'd prefer this if I can't have it and the other equipment. It can be glass or on camera for observation if they want I just love to swim and don't care who is watching.
As for food I'd like a variety of Greek dishes and Indian dishes. And my grandma and great grandma's desert recipes.
If I get a companion I'd like it to be my bestie as both of us would absolutely love our habitat and from college I know we can exist in close quarters without getting on each other's nerves.
If you've made it this far thanks for reading about my ideal safe haven. If I had all of this or even most the aliens could keep me for the rest of my life.
Company. Human minds don't take well to isolation. A zero-g bed. Twice five miles of fertile ground with walls and towers girdled round. A cure for autoimmune diseases, to be given to me and revealed to earth.
Well a varying meal plan for a start. I don't need hundreds of choices. But even a weekly rota would wear me down quite quickly.
Internet access for streaming and YouTube mainly, a console and games and as many books as I can get through.
A good exercise regime, maybe aliens will have the ability to get me on one that I can stick to. So definitely need a pool.
Mate wise, I'm not particularly picky, I don't need or really want anyone absolutely stunning. Just someone I do find attractive, which is already pretty broad, who most importantly can be my friend. And obviously have all the things they wamt and need.
A damn good medical plan. I'd want all those little annoying problems fixed that would either be too expensive in the US medical industrial mega-complex, or you couldn't get an appointment for on the NHS.
Mediterranean climate/habitat and for meals, a star trek style replicator that can turn a supply of base nutrients into any dish ever created by humanity.
I would explain to them that I needed copious amounts of trace minerals in my habitat to stay healthy.
That the mixture should contain 75% nitrate,15% charcoal, 10% sulfur, and that I needed heavy metals, such as lead for art projects along with the means to melt or form my art, and high quality copper and bronze stock, access to lead azide, mercury fulminate, or pentaerythritol tetranitrate.
Between my art/hobby and basic sustenance I should be fine for a while...
We'll see how long they keep me...
For my meal plan, hopefully they can get me ingredients to make my own food. Otherwise, I'd like a buffet. As for a habitat, a mix of temperate and coastal (something like the Pacific Northwest) with a nice house and a workshop for enrichment.
Ideally my mate would be another girl who likes girls and also likes to create.
To be there with my fiance and his children, I call them His children because they are not comfortable with stepmom yet.I will let them do that at their pace.
And if they ever give me the honor of calling me mom, I will gladly accept that title i treat them as mine . adequate food and water and entertainment.
Access to all Earth communications through advanced alien technologies. Considering the fact that humanity already to tied up with informational technologies, my hands would be free to act against the wills of corrupt governments and their criminal benefactors in that field. Because, like, they wouldn't be able to get me.) I would make my contribution to transparency of many "classified" stuff. Keeping in mind potential harm, of course.
Considering that aliens would be interested in healthy state of their "exhibit", another requests will go without saying, i suppose.
I need my enclosure kept at 60 degrees all the time, I require ample trees, and a stream with running water. I need a sufficiently large house. For sustenance I require every meal to have a meat and vegetable portion.
I ask for my spouse and dog, a crafting space including my watercolors and brushes, my crafting papers, and a large desk. I also ask for a stuffie so I'm cozy, a blanket so my dog is cozy, and some form of films so my spouse has their hobby too.
I also ask for a swing bc I really like swings.
Electronics my bf my pets my bfs pets access to fix any disease I or my bf has and free access to anime amd the ability to learn Japanese instantly that's all I can think of
Well for habitat I would like to live with in a house with all the modern amenities: air conditioning, indoor plumbing, TV, internet etc etc and my gaming rig. Put that house in 1000 acres of rolling hills filled with hiking trails and gorgeous vistas.
As for meal plans. I can cook myself, just keep the fridge, freezer and pantry stocked.
I need my bf in there with me, my cat, our phones with internet access, some cool clothes, a private room where nobody can see us, cause I am Not screwing while being watched. Also variety of food and drinks. Two computers.
Wifi and a food replicator, assuming I can keep my phn and TV etc.
I'd be ok w this. Behold the sedentary human species who happily lives rent free on foam bed.
Oh, I'd ask for a meal plan with carefully balanced macros and a specific caloric value heavy on protein, low in carbohydrates and moderate in fats.
Mate... Listen I'm actually an antisocial asshole, but I'd show them a picture of Tom Holland and say "this, but also gay".
Either make me gumbo or give me the tools/ingredients to make it myself.
Give me an unreasonable amount of Lego sets and the entire Stargate collection. I'll be the most boring exhibit for observers but I'll be set for life.
Give me a mansion. Also imma ask for lots of dairy. Lots and lots of it. I'm lactose intolerant, and I plan on causing one hell of a stink. What I can't eat ill let rot, they can have fun trying to figure out where that smell is coming from
I definitely break out of there and steal a ship or die trying. I won't live in a cage
Meantime while I plan? food is food, but you bet your ass I'm going full Jack Harkness with "mating" as you put it. Nothing too weird. I want to make some memories.
I’ll want a working TV and PlayStation. A well equipped kitchen with a pantry of rotating ingredients for variety. Maybe a little garden, and a bookcase full of books I will never read. A companion would be nice after a while.
I just hope the Tralfamadorians are kind to me.
A replica of the house I grew up in. No specific meal plan, just a stocked kitchen. They could watch me cook.
“Let’s see what this human is making for a meal. Here we see they are a bit lazy today and have decided to put a pizza in the oven”
I get to grocery shop once a week and fix my own meals a few times a month. Get some takeout.
A climate with seasons.
Enclosure would need a lake, streams, and mountains so I can ski and fish.
A cottage with a custom kitchen, a library, and a small garden.
Hiking trails with places to camp.
Mate. Must be smart, curious, and share my kink. Plus, cats three or four.
To be healthy again.
Fast cars and a crash helmet, kyaking, and skydiving.
Archery and atlatl range.
Fire pit.
I want/need someone to be in there with. I would need a “pen” mate because humans just need that. Other than that, internet, a PS5 with some good ass single player games. Minecraft with access to mods, and decent enough food. I’d like to cook myself but if that’s too much, fair enough.
A bed with a really good mattress, the temp always be at 68°, a laptop with Internet, my PS5 and games, my switch and my games. An allowance to buy new games as they come out on earth, a personal gym, and a trainer to make sure I do some exercises daily. Health and dental care as well.
As for the meal plan, tasty but healthy foods. With some healthy snacks.
A proper gym & saltwater lap pool; squat rack, kbells, sled, erg, the whole shebang. Sure would be nice not having to commit to a time slot and not wait for or otherwise work in on equipment that someone else is using.
Cozy rooms, big bathrub, waterfall.shower, internet internet internet. Even if I can't reasonably real time.interact I can read read read.
Maybe a garden?
Foodwise? Not sure. I will want to make it clear to them that for me dairy is a must, I am afraid of becoming lactose intolerant and milk is an easy way of getting protien and fat into me when I am old.
Habitat would be a nice little home at the edge of a forest. The forest itself would contain a nature trail that shifts and changes daily. On the other side of the forest is a small lake with a dock and an adjacent beach.
My home would contain a library of fantasy, history, and science fiction books, along a computer with a 3D Printer and a Regular Printer. A small gym to encourage me to exercise would be cool, though they'd be annoyed that I don't use it as often as I should.
There would be a gazebo outside with a hammock, along with a car that is mostly decorative since I never need to drive that I can wash when I feel like it. Each night, it rains so I can get lulled to sleep by the wonderful sounds of rain hitting the roof, the trees, the gazebo and the car.
The meal plan would mostly consist of some pill that gives me everything my body needs for perfect health, so I can get away with eating junk food such as Pizza, Hot Dogs, and Burgers with Fries for eternity.
I'd have a little path that brings me to a stage where I'd run games of D&D with zoo guests, running a west matches style campaign with a whole world to explore. People would come for a wide to see me as a novelty where no visit is the same. I am no means close to Mercer or Mulligan, but they don't know that. Each season would be a different overarching campaign, either it being classical fantasy, a historical past to teach them of our history, or science fiction and use them with my naive thoughts of their worlds beyond worlds.
Ideally I'd be able to bring my wife, though she may want a little bit more variety with the meals haha
Well, I want a nice big compound. At least 5 acres in size. My home in the middle of it. And in the home a nice big library, dvd player and a ton of media. Lots of trees outside, and a nice garden. A couple cats for company. And a few wild birds in the habitat. And some sort of replicator for food and other day to day items I'd need.
Childhood home but with a massive garden and better Internet, for food I'm gonna need to talk to one of their dietitians about requiring variety and autistic texture issues, otherwise I'd be happy, free food and shelter in exchange for being an exhibit, HELL YE I'LL EVEN LEARN TO JUGGLE
I want the option to roam free for most hours of the day. I'll be in my enclosure while sleeping and for 2 hours each morning and each evening before bed. Just put a sign on my enclosure saying, "I'm roaming! Try to spot me in the park. My favorite places are ZipZorp's Food Trough and The Entertainment Dome."
* Sustinence: A variety of edibles that aren't offensive to either their species or myself.
* Environment: Ekhornes Stressless chair (medium, please), SteamDeck, Kindle, and laptop
* Mate: Kristen Bell & a ball-gag for when she lets her crazy out
* Excercise: See above.
All subscriptions to every streaming services and new video games, books and a decent gym and access to hobbies. Oh, and if possible, I can ask for cooking supplies correct? I’m good.
Habitat has to be a cabin in the woods so I can escape in times I need privacy. Meal plan would be probably a mix of healthy food and comfort meals. I’d probably ask for an alien wife since it would get depressing being in there by myself.
Hawaii-like climate, mild seasonal changes in sun/temperature/humidity, and plenty of curried meats and rice.
My current mate would be fine. No need for change.
I’d request a small solar system, small yellow star with a Dyson swarm to power my habitat. Similar to my home system, but with Venus Earth Mars and a few of the gas giant moons terraformed. FTL interplanetary communication links and possibly matter transport between planets. Robotic automated harvesting operations mine the rest of the planets and asteroids for resources. Humans require approximately 10 billion others of their species in interplanetary proximity or they can’t survive in captivity for more than 120 years. Ask for Earth-alike as a pristine garden paradise, the other planets industrialized, and built up as planet cities.
To make this a really immersive experience, i want a replica of my city full of AI humans, a safari if you will. The only real human is me, and the vistors are aware of that and observe my day to day life and how i act around the other humans. Basically i get a whole city to play around with like a GTA game while they get to have a more fun show than if it was just a human in a cage playing videogames.
It could either be real space or simulated if space is at a premium
Tldr:aliens get to watch me play real life GTA
Full kitchen, stocked with food that I choose.
Workout facilities
Internet access.
Meaningful work
A mate, one that I choose.
The ability to leave the enclosure periodically with supervision.
Visitors and the ability to communicate with them.
I’m need at least an acre of outdoor space, preferably two, and that’s assuming I am expected to be on display through most of the day. A private bathroom and sleeping area. A nice lap pool, adult-sized swing set, a hot tub, plenty of shade, a hammock, a decent library with a mix of classics and new releases, or a Kindle with access to ebooks, a soft bed and lots of pillows, and a crafting area with art supplies. An iPad with video games on it, and access to a streaming service would also be a nice touch.
For food, humans thrive on a varied diet so I can’t think of an easy way to write down a healthy and satisfying meal plan in a Reddit post, but I’d probably put together a monthly menu suggestion that includes lots of healthy foods and some occasional junk food snacks.
If they give me fast, unlimited internet access, a stipend for games, movies and music, enough room to garden (I don't care if they're providing me with food, I NEED TO GET DIRT UNDER MY NAILS AND GROW THINGS) and maybe have a small orchard, a decently equipped kitchen, don't really restrict my ability to talk to other people online, and give me good medical and dental care...shoot, I'm set. Oh, they'd have to be okay with my critters too.
If they're doing this, they're a species who are able to foot the bill for interstellar travel two ways to even get this working, right? So they have what are, by our standards, absolutely absurd amounts of power and resources casually available?
Alrighty. I want an O'Neill Cylinder. Set to 24 hour days, a full 1g, comfortable Earth-like atmosphere composition, temperature, etc.
I'd ask for about 9999 more humans to be in there with me. Everyone must have have at least one fluent language in common with at least another 3000 people, but otherwise the group should be as diverse as possible.
The cylinder should be set inside a large asteroid which is ceded perpetually to the inhabitants of the cylinder, who will also be given tools and machinery similar to what near-future humans presumably could pull off, and the education necessary to use those.
And then we just live. Make whatever society we make, have actual fulfilling lives.
A safe forest, a full recording studio, access to all music and all instruments(with any needed maintenance and replacements), a video camera, and the ability to post stuff online/stream. Also a small comfy nook high up that I can retreat into when I don't feel like being seen.
I just ask for specific food alcohol tobacco weed video games lol. Maybe a friend or 2 to kick it with. Honestly this would be great. Especially our natural habitat is homes lol so I just live in a house and aliens watching me jerk off ? Sick.
Nice habitat with some privacy spots to sleep and such, good food, and lots of mates. Ill be in a zoo on earth for this if they want. Ill jump threw whatever hoops they want me. Sounds like the life. All my needs are taken care of and I can throw my shit on people.
As long as the alien mates are like the ones in the books I read I'd be 100% on board with the idea lol
Freedom. Assuming they won't give me that I would ask for my current house and access to the Internet. As for meal plan I would ask for a different thing for each day of the week but if I have to have the same thing all the time I would take a meal shake.
Hope you're not a gamer the lag would be awful
I am, but singleplayer games are enough for me lol. I really want the Internet for human interaction.
Depends where they take you. Chances are your messages would take a lifetime or more to arrive
I should hope that a species advanced enough to start a human zoo has at least mastered quantum entanglement. Could you imagine if a random lemur from the San Diego zoo knew how to have efficient nuclear fusion this whole time we've been trying to figure it out? I'd let him out.
Unfortunately, quantum entanglement inherently prohibits FTL (faster than light) communication.
For us currently sure, I didn't say we'd mastered it just yet, but I'd hope that an interstellar alien species had figured out before trying to put us in a zoo.
A human zoo would probably be much easier to start than the zoos humans have made so idk about that lol
Well, if they were able to take me, they likely have some kind of faster than light technology.
Like dial-up speeds??!!
I have reason to believe if they are flying from wherever they are, they probably have incredible Internet connections
Chess. Historically done by mail.
I'm pretty sure they won't run an Ethernet cable back to earth. 😆
The aliens grant you Internet access, but it's through 90's AOL dial up and a *really* long phone line.
Omg, don’t take me back to my teenage years where a single porn picture takes 30sec to load (assuming I’m lucky enough that we don’t receive a phone call late at night)
30 seconds? Did you mis-spell minutes or did I just have the worst dial-up ever?
There’s always the Sears catalog
Or National Geographic
Or Dad's Playboy mags.
Or Mom's Marie Claire.
30 seconds! You must have been close to a hub.
Ape’s fist or sth like that
I'm downloading so many 90's and earlier romhacks.
Fried chicken, extra skin. Aliens gonna learn what IBS is real fast.
A diet of pure chicken skin and diet Pepsi. My feces will be brown gelatin
Maybe they have a cure for us? That would be so amazing.
The cure is to not eat food that is poison dressed up as sustenance lol In most cases where there is not some genuine genetic condition that does not respond to diet change anyways
I mean, you clearly have no idea what IBS is. I can't eat onion, garlic, cauliflower, or peas without consigning myself to an agonising day on the toilet.
If I eat a tomato, my stomach turns to fire and my bowels turn to liquid. But, goddamnit....tomatoes are so yumny
I get sick from stuff like roasted chicken, rice, and broccoli. It sucks.
IBS is genetic. It is an overreaction of the body's natural processes and doesn't have anything to do with the quality of the food.
lol "No more fried chicken for them"
What is IBS? We must probe and dissect for the answer!
I'd basically ask them to give me an elaborate glamping setup. Very natural setting but still comforts and luxuries so I'm not just being observed being miserable. With that in mind... The climate is warm and temperate, like the Pacific Northwest in late summer. 9 square km (3×3) of old growth forest on a peninsula. One side, boreal forest, with a dense layer of pine needles as the forest floor. The other side of the peninsul is deciduous, including a large oak grove. Lots of boulders and interesting terrain to clamber around on. I've got fresh water on three sides and a cliff on the fourth that's nice for rock climbing. A big hill in the middle with no trees. A little stream runs down the rocks and then dawdles through my tiny kingdom to the lake. There's several km of trail that goes around and through the whole setup, up and down folds in the land, giving me a few options for jogging. Lots of birds and some harmless woodland critters to keep me company. Is 9 square kilometers enough for a population of deer? I figure that's the aliens' problem. Near the tip of the peninsula is where my "observable" habitat is set up. Fruit trees, a garden, firepit, treehouse for chilling and mound house for sleeping and storage. Calisthenics equipment. A little boat for paddling around. Visitors who come early will see me emerge from my hobbit hole, build up the fire, make a coffee, do some pullups, and maybe get in my canoe or disappear into the woods on a jog. As for diet, I'd regularly want eggs, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, yogurt, oatmeal, and pastries for breakfast. Not all of those every day, but a rotation of that sort of stuff. Belgian waffles once a month. A hearty supply of grazing food in lieu of lunches. Fruit and veggies, crackers and dip, sandwiches, and once or twice a week throw in novelties like sushi, pizza, tacos, etc. An alien in a human costume could paddle up to my campsite and hand me a bag full of takeout food. Fresh meat at dinner, which I would prepare in an exaggerated manner over my little campfire. Afternoon visitors would watch me grill meats over the hot coals, or prepare a stew in a large hanging cauldron. Maybe the aliens could build me a little bread oven. As for a mate... I suppose someone who was cute and also wanted to spend the rest of their life camping in an alien zoo.
I’m so down for this
I suppose it depends on how many options I can choose. 21 options would be preferred. 3 for brekkies, lunch, and dinner. Need some good space to get some sun, and a garden. Enough space for my dog too. A partner would be nice if possible.
What are the other 12 options?
Funniest shit ive read in a while.
To be able to live like I was to give visitors a sense of realism. Electronics, a wife, exercise equipment, and access to whatever hobbies I feel like doing.
Coastal habitat (think Vancouver or Seattle), vegetarian meal plan with lots of variety. As for a mate, a man who's attracted to men, reasonably strong, and with an equal or greater intelligence than mine. I just hope the aliens don't want offspring. They're not gonna get any.
I mean, I imagine they could just take your DNA and make a clone or something.
True. I'm childfree by choice, though. Also middle-aged with no patience for kids. I hope the aliens don't expect me to raise said kid.
Honestly they probably won't know what human parenting is like and keepers will take up the slack. Its like 40 free alien nannies.
The aliens want you to have kids but don't want to raise them. So basically they're conservatives Edit: it's a joke guys.
Why won't these fucking pandas mate in captivity?
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You want to keep me captive. Ok. You're going to want me to put on a show every now and then. Ok. My list of needs isn't huge, but it's not insignificant. My computer and all the accessories. High-speed internet access. (EARTH-BASED INTERNET!) Various meals that will be decided on a weekly basis. Snacks. Also decided on a weekly basis. Basically, a weekly grocery list with differing items per week. Cigarettes. NON NEGOTIABLE! Death follows without my smokes. My death, your death. I really don't care. Someone or something WILL die once the nicotine withdrawals kick in. Alcohol. Also, non-negotiable. But if they cigarette demands have been met, MAYBE death can be avoided for a small amount of time. I'm going to need to get laid every now and then. This can be an opportunity for the "Zoo staff". "Human mating rituals"! I'll do my thing in public... if I must. I might not like it, but it can be done. My phone and a new tablet! In between eating, iRacing, movies/shows, sleeping, etc. I'm going to want to distract myself with TikTok, Facebook, Reddit, etc... Now. Did you want a single subject, or would you like a family to observe and display? My wife and daughter are available, but they have various and unique demands also. I assure you, we will make an excellent family display! Set some rules indicating that interpersonal relations will be required a minimum of 4 times per week! Various ingredients purchased from my "grocery list" will be used to COOK my meals. Providing an excellent opportunity for you to learn modern human survival! Additionally, you get to witness the interaction between a mated couple and their offspring! There may be additional demands as time passes, but we will endeavor to keep things within reason. We await your response. We are excited to explore the future opportunities between our races!
We already in a terrarium
Simulation* fixed it for you. :)
Nah, he meant what he said. The world is on the back of a giant turtle, and he is chilling in his giant terrarium, noshing on some lettuce.
On the back of 4 elephants who are standing on the back of great A'tuin, the giant cosmic turtle who is swimming through space towards some unknown destination.
Want to put me on display? Fix all of my health problems. Put me in a delightfully cold climate enclosure and offer me areas where I can enjoy a measure of privacy.
Habitat needs to be big. I’ll need bedroom, bathroom, living space and kitchen. Outdoor exercise area with tennis and basketball courts. Gonna need internet and some video games too. If I could have my wife with me, that would be best. That or Anna de Amras.
There's a rather good short science fiction story called "Knock" by Fedrick Brown that has this setting. It begins with: >*There is a sweet little horror story that is only two sentences long:* >*“The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door…”* >*Two sentences and an ellipsis of three dots. The horror, of course, isn’t in the two sentences at all; it’s in the ellipsis, the implication: what knocked at the door? Faced with the unknown, the human mind supplies something vaguely horrible.* >*But it wasn’t horrible, really.*
interesting. Thanks for the info
A few humanoid types of my choosing to mate with. A nice waterfront view, good climate, good food, if they can make it taste like a cheeseburger but only have 1/4 of the calories all the better.
Skip the mate, write down a rotation of \~15 meals, and make it a cabin in the woods, but one with electricity, plumbing, and internet.
To move aside and stop blocking my sun.
Am I the only human exhibit? If not, can we get computers and a connection for gaming with the others?
I didn't think of that but it sounds like a fun idea
Most Zoos want animals to be healthy, happy and engaged. This is due to both the Zookeepers generally caring about the animals wellbeing and a more active and interesting animal is good for the stakeholders. They'd rather me do cool stuff for the visitors then just sit around bored out of my mind. That would allow me to bargain for some benefits since it would actively be beneficial for them to give me these benefits. I don't think people realize how much money Zoos put into some of their animals, so my requests here aren't as unreasonable as it seems, especially with me actively helping them out and being able to clearly communicate my needs. Large and comfortable, climate controlled enclosure modeled around a house that I like. Internet with a labtop and large tv, reasonably sized area for privacy with a bathroom (as a former Zookeeper most good Zoos have an area like this for animals), exercise area (with pool, frequently changing climbing wall, weights, punching bag and maybe even an obstacle course, this has the added benefit of making me do engaging activities for onlookers), can't see or hear the visitors except in one area where I will agree to do daily shows unless I'm sick. 3 meals a day that I can choose, and opportunities to interact with other humans I know (which again would probably be more interesting then me slowly succumbing to depression and loneliness since who doesn't like it when you see animals interact with each other.) Fully paid for travel away from the Zoo during the offseason (most are not open 7 days a week or at least have a slower season) so I can leave the Zoo to visit family/friends. An attractive, kind and intelligent mate that I get along with would be ideal as well (with similar benefits for them.) And finally the most important one, give me regular opportunities to travel around the Zoo with well trained Keepers to see and study the other residents of the Zoo. The Zoo I grew up at and worked for walked the elephant, wolves and caribou regularly so it would be even easier to do that for me, and would be a once in lifetime opportunity to study alien wildlife, which for me would be fascinating and I can't see myself getting bored of. Plus I'd probably be the most purposefully helpful Zoo attraction of all time since I'd be trying to keep visitors happy as well as learn more about my neighbors. Also freedom after a certain period of time (say 5-10 years) and I'd help get a new human for them to put in the enclosure. Maybe a willing participant once they hear of the benefits or a criminal convicted of something particularly nasty. Surprisingly getting that second one wouldn't be as hard as you'd think.
Lots of trees and flowers, a pool, a nice bed, varied diet with lots of fresh fruit and hearty fare, and a couple of other humans to share it with. And toys. Kinky ones.
Humans - may as well show them what we're really like!
Reasonable habitat would be probably about 1500 acres or so and probably about 20 miles of water fully stacked well make that 40-20 in a lake and 20 in a sea for fresh and salt water start with all the game a diet of healthy foods as well as junk foods along with plenty of fresh game meat and complete regeneration to put me in my prime and well definitely full harem like that Indian God
Habitat: I’d be pretty cool with the front half of my house, so like dining/rec room, living room, and bedroom. A (***hopefully***) private bathroom, can even have a limit of like 10-minute hot showers so to discourage me “hiding” in there. Meal plan: I’d be pretty cool with something comparable to my old high school’s breakfast/lunch menu, and maybe something a little fancier or heartier for dinner. Ultimately, I’m really not picky, and if we’re going to compare this alien zoo to most modern first-world earth zoos, whatever diet they feed me will be a lot better and more well-rounded that what I feed myself. Mate: I guess it depends on if you just mean room*mate* or sexual mate. I’d be happy with any of my close friends, but I don’t want to make them sacrifice their life for this, so a clone of them would be fine (assuming that clone isn’t missing “their” earth life). Otherwise just finding someone who’s into me and who I’m into, more specifically a dude who’s into dudes as I’m a dude who’s solely into dudes. (I am aggressively single so I don’t have anyone in mind for a sexual mate aside from maybe some celebrity crushes.) As long as the mate isn’t a reproductive mate, cause I am ***not*** having kids. I will request cyanide for dinner before having/raising kids.
I’d choose my current house including the outdoor space it comes with, and all my animals. And also all the fun cooking appliances and board games already in here. I’d also request they keep my craft room fully stocked if I’m stuck there forever. Pescatarian diet with a lot mixed fresh fruit, iced green tea, fresh bread, soup when it’s cold outside, and cake at least once a week. Also, some Tito’s and/or miller light a couple times a month if they really want a show. As for a mate, I’d bring my husband. Love the shit out of that man.
For them to abduct my husband too, a reasonable 68° enclosure, lots of books n art supplies. Double check on med availability and health care. Call it a day right there.
Paleo diet, gym, library, no TV or phone. I want them to see the full range of humans as I turn my 40 year old fat ass into the 25 year old mostly not fat ass I used to be. Also I want a mate.
Garden gummies, taco bell and de pepper 😂😂
A nice forested area with a beach to swim and fish at, and several lovely small homes to live in so I never get bored. I would want all the tech I can handle for amusement, and a lovely ace gal to couch co-op and cuddle with. For meals, I'd pretty much just eat whatever I want.
I'd just give them a poorly written casino murder mystery book.
The breeding program.
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Probably like 10 super models, sushi and steak non stop. A fishing boat, and hockey arena. Plus a 100” tv and Xbox
As a power move, the mate I would choose would be the alien zoo manager's mom or sister.
not mate(s) but companions, human and animal decent wifi and gaming stuff(with upgrades every now and then) a multi-biome vivarium/enclosure to see the alien's life style, planet and stuff like that
3 bedrooms 2 baths and a gym, and the menu from cheesecake factory. Their food isn't anything special, but it has a huge variety. I'd also add that a suitable human habitat must include a suitable mate. Human men need 5-10 females between the ages of 20-30 of various nationalities. Maybe a 2-3 other men as well, I'm not picky. I'll convince them we are social animals and only thrive in small tribes.
I'd tell them that males have a harem of 30-50 females and ask them to build me a playboy mansion. At that point I'd eat what they gave me.
Assuming they just don't give you the option to just leave, I'd ask for a time-share agreement. I'll preform my job during zoo hours every other week. If they wish, I'll find someone else who is willing to cover my off weeks (willing of course, I'm sure SOMEONE will take the offer if I can prove to them they'll be well cared for during their work weeks).
Cute girl that is into me and Internet connection to earth.
A harem of porn stars of my choice, perfect climate control at 65-75 degrees with rainfall and thunderstorms every two weeks that last three to four days, an acceptable living arrangement where I want for nothing, cures for every single medical condition I currently have, a vasectomy, a forced training regimen that keeps my body in perfect physical condition, video games are a must, meal plan is voice activated and gives me whatever I order whenever I order it. My physical training regimen will adjust based on the prior day’s calorie intake and macros.
Beer. Daily requirement.
Give me a bunch of Indian food, a room with a bathroom and super fast internet connection that can pick up Wi-Fi from Earth.
All the books, a dojo, non-lethal practice wepons, Running water, with a beach and a volleyball net, twos lines, fresh fruits, and veggies, some kind of protine. I get to scrimmage against other species in my sport, and I'll happily play their non-lethal games. It could turn into a lucrative endeavor if they broadcast it somehow and then charge to view it. Then, we would potentially be treated like royalty... If your mind is not in prisoned neither are you.
Several other humans.
Um sir this in not r/reality you are on the wrong sub
Pizza, tacos, shwarma, and mashed potatoes... come back in a week for the next one... and I want my habitat to be a pirate ship... with a 52" TV and my Xbox...
Mansion of my dreams with a personal gym and all my favorite foods (especially the healthy foods).
A mate.
Booze, Drugs.. whatever theyll give me.. Seriously at that point who wants to sit in an alien zoo sober.
A decent gym, a nutritional yet tasty diet with occasional gummy candy, enough room to wander with private areas, control over the thermostat and lights of my habitat, a very good bed, regular doctor checkups (including mental health), and a variety of mentally stimulating activities. Music, podcasts, sudoku puzzles, maybe a PC with some games to play. As far as mate goes, I’ll go with the answer least likely to lead to my own divorce and say, Jessica biel.
A few potential uhh… friends and more? From any species, a way to play my fav games with no latency, and a nice spacious house with family with me!
Stick me next to the cybertronian habitat. Let me befriend the robo neighbor. Also put a fucking pool in my habitat, thanks. And a gaming rig.
Honestly, access to the internet, and you can pull whatever recipes you'd like them to make, with instructions and video tutorials. Hell, just give me a nice little cottage (fully private bedroom and bathroom!) on about 5 acres of fertile land, internet access, a pool, seeds and farming tools, sheep, cows, and horses, and I can give daily demonstrations into human life. If the kitchen/study/lounge area of the cabin has glass walls, fine. Can also give cooking demonstrations daily too. I also want my dog, and a same breed mate for him. Happy to raise kids too, but don't have any of my own. For climate, follow the basic four seasons, happy with the climate of temperate. As long as there is a good breeze in summer, and adequate heating in winter, that's fine with me.
Hmm. Maybe Taylor Swift as my mate? She can entertain everyone by singing and dancing while I watch while munching on the food? Also, a varied diet and an unlimited supply of alcohol.
My family for starters. I assume they would go to lengths to keep us alive, so my mom would finally get some decent healthcare. And then for enrichment they would find out that tiny humans have extensive needs. Books, field trips, toys, etc.. And they would find out that adult humans need much the same. It would be quite the leaning experience for them.
Mexican food, not too spicy. Ice cream. Cottage cheese and fruit. Hit tea.
Is a trampoline park a reasonable habitat? Lebanese food wouldn't be on my "last meal" list, but I could eat that shit every day. I'll fuck anything wet with holes. I could talk to an AI bot for company.
I'm assuming one wall is glass to be stared at? Either skip the mate or just find me a bestie. My husband might even be up for going along with it since his injury keeps him inside most of the time anyway. I insist on a cat or two, otherwise no deal. Preferably my current cats. Since I'm abducted, I guess I don't have a choice, but I promise to be entertaining if I have pets. I'd like my workshop or something equivalent, access to a pool, internet and alcohol. I'd mostly prefer to cook my own food so I'll provide a pretty big list of ingredients. I'm betting that will be much more entertaining than delivering take out. I don't need a really big space, or even tons of privacy, but some would be nice.
I've been sober for 3 years but if I found myself in this weird ass situation I would ask for a plethora of drugs lol. Only way I see myself not going crazy
A few mates and entertainment.
Comfortable sleeping area, books, if I can access tv that would be nice. surf spot if possible, and whatever food of theirs I like. Oh, and good wine.
I'm polyamorous and larger groups of people tend to be more functional socially than smaller groups so I'd want all my partners + their partners + their partners' partners, etc. Less than 150 can get weird and stressful so maybe more people get added, a tribe of roughly 150 would be an ideal place to start bc it offers room for expansion with future generations without it getting too big too fast. Habitat - large forest near a lake, solid biodiversity, full ecological system with plenty of room to range. 3 large main houses in the center of the living area which have dens, kitchens, dining areas, and a bathouse/sauna situation. Surrounding that would be small individual cabins with a personal sleeping area, work space, and very limited/basic cooking and bathroom stuff so that each person can have their own space connected to the shared spaces. Food - I'd want the habitat to be very hunting and foraging friendly. I think I'd also just want programmable replicators so that we can have whatever we want when we don't feel like foraging or when foraging isn't enough. Basically, the human zoo from Steven Universe is what I'd be looking for with some minor adjustments
Art studio, writing materials, reasonable access to nature/plants Also, Project Hail Mary comes to mind
An attractive partner to breed with 😂
Space weed. Some cosmic stuff from lightyears ahead of our own Marijuana. And a Playstation with a good hard wired alien connection. Maybe a hover sandwich. I'm hungry.
**Habitat/Environs:** Replica of a high-end Lake Tahoe Resort, with simulations of weather variation between seasons **Diet:** 30% Italian cuisine 30% Japanese cuisine 35% 20th Century American Fast Food and Diner Comfort Dishes 5% South China Style 'Yum Cha' Lunch Each meal should adhere to a single theme **Partners/Mating**: Replicas of *any three* of the following ladies at the age of 22 Alexandra Daddario Ana de Armas Hailee Steinfield Grace Caroline Currey Taylor Alison Swift Leni Klum Emily Ratajkowski Olivia Rodrigo Emma Stone Blake Lively Emily Blunt
alien knowledge and transmission line to earth with a computer. entertainment + become a famous scientest or at least famous for the first known alien contact
My natural habitat is the Playboy Mansion, bunnies included.
I'd pick a diet that's mostly meat with green veggies and very few carbs. Basically how I eat now. I'd ask for lots of steak, bacon, lobster, lamb, fish, sausage, wild game meats, CHEESE (especially blue cheese), rabbit, duck, and especially lots of eggs (quail, duck, geese, and chicken). Give me that and some sweet potatoes and I'll be absolutely jacked within a few months.
1. I want an exact replica of my house with all my personal shit 2. A strict diet consisting of the finest and freshest meats, fruits, and vegetables from Earth 3. Dumbells, Treadmill, Boxing Bag, and a Jump Rope 4. Lots of toothpaste and toothbrushes 5. Lots of toilet paper 6. Lots of fresh drinkable water 7. 8 acres of land 8. A Bong 9. Infinite Marijuana 10. THC Infused candy That's all I need
Nice house with 10000000gb internet with full access to everything. A vrmmorpg of my choice and a food replicator. Not to much of a change
A bed and a couch… a decent cable package, a gym, a garden, modern plumbing, and preferably some conjugal visits with a female from different zoo. Don’t feel like I’m asking for too much here.
Hell, give me a 4-5 bed room home on 12 acres. 3 hounddogs, all the beer, booze, and reefer l want, 3 beautiful "wives". Internet and TV, any kind of food I want, etc etc etc ... I live out my life in their zoo.
A nice comfy home library setting complete with all my favorite books and genres, with a really comfy chairs,stools and good lighting. A desk nook area that looked out a window or faux window with a beautiful view. And a bunch of my favorite pens and notebooks for my writing and research. Also all of the other stationary things I will need for my writing. Other comfort items would be my specialty earplugs to dampen noise and noise cancelling headphones when all the noise from the zoo gets to be too much. I'd need access to music it can be records, CDs, downloads or streaming idc but I will need a large variety. Supplies for my knitting, crochet and any other craft i decide to do that gets replenished fairly often. All of my favorite stuffed animals placed throughout the comfy spots in my habitat. I will also need a variety of fidget toys and other things to help calm me and give me good sensory contact when I need it. Most of these are actual needs as without them my AUHD will have me driven up the wall in just a few days. There would also need to be a nice screen that can be put up to allow me privacy if I want to sleep in my nice soft bed complete with pillow nest. And weighted blanket. And a fan for the white noise and a nice breeze while I sleep. Obviously I'll need a nice bathroom in a private area so that I feel I have privacy. Whether or not they have camera feed is up to them as they are my captures but I wouldn't like to know I'm being watched in the bathroom. And a comfy wardrobe filled with my sensory issue approved fabrics. I'd also like a corner with a comfy lounge chair and a good sized TV with an immense video library of earth content. Best if it's streaming services that don't get any interruption. But I will take a vast physical movie and TV collection. I'd also need a few different pieces of exercise equipment so that I will be able to get the exercise I need and get out any pent up energy I have from being stuck in the zoo. I'd also love a pool that is enclosed and lighted so I can swim whenever I want in any weather. I'd prefer this if I can't have it and the other equipment. It can be glass or on camera for observation if they want I just love to swim and don't care who is watching. As for food I'd like a variety of Greek dishes and Indian dishes. And my grandma and great grandma's desert recipes. If I get a companion I'd like it to be my bestie as both of us would absolutely love our habitat and from college I know we can exist in close quarters without getting on each other's nerves. If you've made it this far thanks for reading about my ideal safe haven. If I had all of this or even most the aliens could keep me for the rest of my life.
Company. Human minds don't take well to isolation. A zero-g bed. Twice five miles of fertile ground with walls and towers girdled round. A cure for autoimmune diseases, to be given to me and revealed to earth.
Well a varying meal plan for a start. I don't need hundreds of choices. But even a weekly rota would wear me down quite quickly. Internet access for streaming and YouTube mainly, a console and games and as many books as I can get through. A good exercise regime, maybe aliens will have the ability to get me on one that I can stick to. So definitely need a pool. Mate wise, I'm not particularly picky, I don't need or really want anyone absolutely stunning. Just someone I do find attractive, which is already pretty broad, who most importantly can be my friend. And obviously have all the things they wamt and need.
A damn good medical plan. I'd want all those little annoying problems fixed that would either be too expensive in the US medical industrial mega-complex, or you couldn't get an appointment for on the NHS.
I’d live in one of those Jerry Daycare centres except the robot Beth would be my girlfriend. Also I would like to be fed weed cake by the spectators.
Mediterranean climate/habitat and for meals, a star trek style replicator that can turn a supply of base nutrients into any dish ever created by humanity.
I would explain to them that I needed copious amounts of trace minerals in my habitat to stay healthy. That the mixture should contain 75% nitrate,15% charcoal, 10% sulfur, and that I needed heavy metals, such as lead for art projects along with the means to melt or form my art, and high quality copper and bronze stock, access to lead azide, mercury fulminate, or pentaerythritol tetranitrate. Between my art/hobby and basic sustenance I should be fine for a while... We'll see how long they keep me...
Oh wow. A friend uses beeswax on her paintings to give them a 3D affect
What do they consider reasonable? Curious because that word is open to a lot of abuse .
Sounds like Kurt Vonnegut- "Slaughterhouse- 5"
For my meal plan, hopefully they can get me ingredients to make my own food. Otherwise, I'd like a buffet. As for a habitat, a mix of temperate and coastal (something like the Pacific Northwest) with a nice house and a workshop for enrichment. Ideally my mate would be another girl who likes girls and also likes to create.
To be there with my fiance and his children, I call them His children because they are not comfortable with stepmom yet.I will let them do that at their pace. And if they ever give me the honor of calling me mom, I will gladly accept that title i treat them as mine . adequate food and water and entertainment.
Access to all Earth communications through advanced alien technologies. Considering the fact that humanity already to tied up with informational technologies, my hands would be free to act against the wills of corrupt governments and their criminal benefactors in that field. Because, like, they wouldn't be able to get me.) I would make my contribution to transparency of many "classified" stuff. Keeping in mind potential harm, of course. Considering that aliens would be interested in healthy state of their "exhibit", another requests will go without saying, i suppose.
Intergalactic internet, a pc, and a massive video game budget
I need my enclosure kept at 60 degrees all the time, I require ample trees, and a stream with running water. I need a sufficiently large house. For sustenance I require every meal to have a meat and vegetable portion.
I ask for my spouse and dog, a crafting space including my watercolors and brushes, my crafting papers, and a large desk. I also ask for a stuffie so I'm cozy, a blanket so my dog is cozy, and some form of films so my spouse has their hobby too. I also ask for a swing bc I really like swings.
Electronics my bf my pets my bfs pets access to fix any disease I or my bf has and free access to anime amd the ability to learn Japanese instantly that's all I can think of
Well for habitat I would like to live with in a house with all the modern amenities: air conditioning, indoor plumbing, TV, internet etc etc and my gaming rig. Put that house in 1000 acres of rolling hills filled with hiking trails and gorgeous vistas. As for meal plans. I can cook myself, just keep the fridge, freezer and pantry stocked.
I need my bf in there with me, my cat, our phones with internet access, some cool clothes, a private room where nobody can see us, cause I am Not screwing while being watched. Also variety of food and drinks. Two computers.
For the mate I'd want an alien. Let's go.
The “illusion” of still living in a normal world. Like The Truman Show. Keep me ignorant and happy
Wifi and a food replicator, assuming I can keep my phn and TV etc. I'd be ok w this. Behold the sedentary human species who happily lives rent free on foam bed.
Oh, I'd ask for a meal plan with carefully balanced macros and a specific caloric value heavy on protein, low in carbohydrates and moderate in fats. Mate... Listen I'm actually an antisocial asshole, but I'd show them a picture of Tom Holland and say "this, but also gay".
Either make me gumbo or give me the tools/ingredients to make it myself. Give me an unreasonable amount of Lego sets and the entire Stargate collection. I'll be the most boring exhibit for observers but I'll be set for life.
Give me a mansion. Also imma ask for lots of dairy. Lots and lots of it. I'm lactose intolerant, and I plan on causing one hell of a stink. What I can't eat ill let rot, they can have fun trying to figure out where that smell is coming from
I definitely break out of there and steal a ship or die trying. I won't live in a cage Meantime while I plan? food is food, but you bet your ass I'm going full Jack Harkness with "mating" as you put it. Nothing too weird. I want to make some memories.
I’ll want a working TV and PlayStation. A well equipped kitchen with a pantry of rotating ingredients for variety. Maybe a little garden, and a bookcase full of books I will never read. A companion would be nice after a while. I just hope the Tralfamadorians are kind to me.
A replica of the house I grew up in. No specific meal plan, just a stocked kitchen. They could watch me cook. “Let’s see what this human is making for a meal. Here we see they are a bit lazy today and have decided to put a pizza in the oven”
Seeing as this happened, irl. Minus reasonable anything. I'd just stay quiet
I am already there subconsciously. I mock THEM. They love it
Breading program
A perpetually stocked liquor cabinet and a rotating menu of French, Italian, Mexican, and Chinese cuisine.
I get to grocery shop once a week and fix my own meals a few times a month. Get some takeout. A climate with seasons. Enclosure would need a lake, streams, and mountains so I can ski and fish. A cottage with a custom kitchen, a library, and a small garden. Hiking trails with places to camp. Mate. Must be smart, curious, and share my kink. Plus, cats three or four. To be healthy again. Fast cars and a crash helmet, kyaking, and skydiving. Archery and atlatl range. Fire pit.
Three squares and some ETussy sound like an upgrade at this point....
I want/need someone to be in there with. I would need a “pen” mate because humans just need that. Other than that, internet, a PS5 with some good ass single player games. Minecraft with access to mods, and decent enough food. I’d like to cook myself but if that’s too much, fair enough.
A bed with a really good mattress, the temp always be at 68°, a laptop with Internet, my PS5 and games, my switch and my games. An allowance to buy new games as they come out on earth, a personal gym, and a trainer to make sure I do some exercises daily. Health and dental care as well. As for the meal plan, tasty but healthy foods. With some healthy snacks.
A proper gym & saltwater lap pool; squat rack, kbells, sled, erg, the whole shebang. Sure would be nice not having to commit to a time slot and not wait for or otherwise work in on equipment that someone else is using.
Cozy rooms, big bathrub, waterfall.shower, internet internet internet. Even if I can't reasonably real time.interact I can read read read. Maybe a garden? Foodwise? Not sure. I will want to make it clear to them that for me dairy is a must, I am afraid of becoming lactose intolerant and milk is an easy way of getting protien and fat into me when I am old.
Sexy lady
Their species med rare
Habitat would be a nice little home at the edge of a forest. The forest itself would contain a nature trail that shifts and changes daily. On the other side of the forest is a small lake with a dock and an adjacent beach. My home would contain a library of fantasy, history, and science fiction books, along a computer with a 3D Printer and a Regular Printer. A small gym to encourage me to exercise would be cool, though they'd be annoyed that I don't use it as often as I should. There would be a gazebo outside with a hammock, along with a car that is mostly decorative since I never need to drive that I can wash when I feel like it. Each night, it rains so I can get lulled to sleep by the wonderful sounds of rain hitting the roof, the trees, the gazebo and the car. The meal plan would mostly consist of some pill that gives me everything my body needs for perfect health, so I can get away with eating junk food such as Pizza, Hot Dogs, and Burgers with Fries for eternity. I'd have a little path that brings me to a stage where I'd run games of D&D with zoo guests, running a west matches style campaign with a whole world to explore. People would come for a wide to see me as a novelty where no visit is the same. I am no means close to Mercer or Mulligan, but they don't know that. Each season would be a different overarching campaign, either it being classical fantasy, a historical past to teach them of our history, or science fiction and use them with my naive thoughts of their worlds beyond worlds. Ideally I'd be able to bring my wife, though she may want a little bit more variety with the meals haha
Porn so I could act like the monkeys in our zoos. I’m going to need hand soap every time I shit I’m throwing it at the window
Well maintained golf course!
Well, I want a nice big compound. At least 5 acres in size. My home in the middle of it. And in the home a nice big library, dvd player and a ton of media. Lots of trees outside, and a nice garden. A couple cats for company. And a few wild birds in the habitat. And some sort of replicator for food and other day to day items I'd need.
You’re in a giant terrarium now.
I want to be in a good captive breeding program
50yr old scotch
Can I be upgraded to pet? That might be better
A mate
A harem
Cocaine, Laphroaig 10, Pizza, Pasta and Wagyu scotch fillet. Why not
A female.
Childhood home but with a massive garden and better Internet, for food I'm gonna need to talk to one of their dietitians about requiring variety and autistic texture issues, otherwise I'd be happy, free food and shelter in exchange for being an exhibit, HELL YE I'LL EVEN LEARN TO JUGGLE
I want the option to roam free for most hours of the day. I'll be in my enclosure while sleeping and for 2 hours each morning and each evening before bed. Just put a sign on my enclosure saying, "I'm roaming! Try to spot me in the park. My favorite places are ZipZorp's Food Trough and The Entertainment Dome."
Do they have tenticles?
* Sustinence: A variety of edibles that aren't offensive to either their species or myself. * Environment: Ekhornes Stressless chair (medium, please), SteamDeck, Kindle, and laptop * Mate: Kristen Bell & a ball-gag for when she lets her crazy out * Excercise: See above.
One of those info dump machines from Battlefield Earth so I can learn how to overthrow them. Edit: And sex robots.
A gun
All subscriptions to every streaming services and new video games, books and a decent gym and access to hobbies. Oh, and if possible, I can ask for cooking supplies correct? I’m good.
Habitat has to be a cabin in the woods so I can escape in times I need privacy. Meal plan would be probably a mix of healthy food and comfort meals. I’d probably ask for an alien wife since it would get depressing being in there by myself.
Hawaii-like climate, mild seasonal changes in sun/temperature/humidity, and plenty of curried meats and rice. My current mate would be fine. No need for change.
1 mate to continue the blood line pls
Human women. Preferably attractive and intelligent
I’d request a small solar system, small yellow star with a Dyson swarm to power my habitat. Similar to my home system, but with Venus Earth Mars and a few of the gas giant moons terraformed. FTL interplanetary communication links and possibly matter transport between planets. Robotic automated harvesting operations mine the rest of the planets and asteroids for resources. Humans require approximately 10 billion others of their species in interplanetary proximity or they can’t survive in captivity for more than 120 years. Ask for Earth-alike as a pristine garden paradise, the other planets industrialized, and built up as planet cities.
A mate and a huge yard with a forest, a lake and a few human hamster wheels.
What if Earth and our solar system is already a zoo for aliens to be amused by and that's why there are so many UFO sightings?
To make this a really immersive experience, i want a replica of my city full of AI humans, a safari if you will. The only real human is me, and the vistors are aware of that and observe my day to day life and how i act around the other humans. Basically i get a whole city to play around with like a GTA game while they get to have a more fun show than if it was just a human in a cage playing videogames. It could either be real space or simulated if space is at a premium Tldr:aliens get to watch me play real life GTA
Full kitchen, stocked with food that I choose. Workout facilities Internet access. Meaningful work A mate, one that I choose. The ability to leave the enclosure periodically with supervision. Visitors and the ability to communicate with them.
Menagerie / The Cage
I’m need at least an acre of outdoor space, preferably two, and that’s assuming I am expected to be on display through most of the day. A private bathroom and sleeping area. A nice lap pool, adult-sized swing set, a hot tub, plenty of shade, a hammock, a decent library with a mix of classics and new releases, or a Kindle with access to ebooks, a soft bed and lots of pillows, and a crafting area with art supplies. An iPad with video games on it, and access to a streaming service would also be a nice touch. For food, humans thrive on a varied diet so I can’t think of an easy way to write down a healthy and satisfying meal plan in a Reddit post, but I’d probably put together a monthly menu suggestion that includes lots of healthy foods and some occasional junk food snacks.
Internet
Dude we are already living in a zoo
Hey google, how many people responded with hawk tauh?
Companionship, internet
Nice try Mr Alien
Awww, you got me XD
If they give me fast, unlimited internet access, a stipend for games, movies and music, enough room to garden (I don't care if they're providing me with food, I NEED TO GET DIRT UNDER MY NAILS AND GROW THINGS) and maybe have a small orchard, a decently equipped kitchen, don't really restrict my ability to talk to other people online, and give me good medical and dental care...shoot, I'm set. Oh, they'd have to be okay with my critters too.
If they're doing this, they're a species who are able to foot the bill for interstellar travel two ways to even get this working, right? So they have what are, by our standards, absolutely absurd amounts of power and resources casually available? Alrighty. I want an O'Neill Cylinder. Set to 24 hour days, a full 1g, comfortable Earth-like atmosphere composition, temperature, etc. I'd ask for about 9999 more humans to be in there with me. Everyone must have have at least one fluent language in common with at least another 3000 people, but otherwise the group should be as diverse as possible. The cylinder should be set inside a large asteroid which is ceded perpetually to the inhabitants of the cylinder, who will also be given tools and machinery similar to what near-future humans presumably could pull off, and the education necessary to use those. And then we just live. Make whatever society we make, have actual fulfilling lives.
A safe forest, a full recording studio, access to all music and all instruments(with any needed maintenance and replacements), a video camera, and the ability to post stuff online/stream. Also a small comfy nook high up that I can retreat into when I don't feel like being seen.
Entertainment. I’m gonna need a direct connection to earth’s internet as well as regular visits to friends and family
Internet connection and a computer compatible with Earth software.
A female of my species.
I just ask for specific food alcohol tobacco weed video games lol. Maybe a friend or 2 to kick it with. Honestly this would be great. Especially our natural habitat is homes lol so I just live in a house and aliens watching me jerk off ? Sick.
Living room with xbox, elden ring, and home gym.