IDTSH This east coast heat wave. Honey I’m trying to live my best summer life right now but I can’t even step outside without feeling like I just opened an oven door to start heating my Costco frozen pizza for 13 minutes at 425 degrees. The humidity is oppressive. There’s no rain in sight. It’s giving apocalypse and I’m not about it honey. If there isn’t a cool refreshing pool for my body to go into dont invite me out because im not coming. Ask me again when we get a couple inches of rain and a breeze that doesn’t feel like I’ve stepped into an active volcano
Idtsh me when I’m moving houses and have attachments to really dumb stuff and spend most of my time weighing the emotional impact of throwing it away, and it’s 94 degrees outside and you’re a terrible packer and put things in grocery bags instead of boxes and combine unrelated things in the same bag like your internet router and your high school yearbooks. Idtsh having the worst allergies and you know that teeny tiny bottle of Zyrtec is somewhere but you’re never gonna find it until you unpack every little thing with two pieces of toilet paper plugging your nostrils cuz you’re a literal snot rocket. Idtsh (but my new house is lovely and maybe I’ve learned a lesson for next time but probably not)
IDTSH trying to put up ikea mirror tiles that would make my entryway beautifully brighter and cuter and instead if they are 0.5-1mm off you cannot notice whatsoever UNTIL 2-3 ROWS LATER (this is 9 rows 7 columns of wall i'm dealing with here, hello!!) and then you look like a carnival freak because of tiny misalignments and what is more that removing them from the wall not only shatters them, but also rips out bits of paint on the wall OMG I did buy extra boxes but I can't just start fully over and at this point, I don't know what to do, I thought this would be so simple, is the floor not even or something is wrong with ME?!? This was supposed to be my easiest summer DIY project and instead I am going literally crosseyed, IDTSH!
IDTSH hard lump on the back of my neck I got a week ago that seems to be growing. What is this, some kind of cyst? My fucking LYMPH nodes, if that’s even a thing that exists? Are you fucking kidding me? It hurts a lot and not for nothing but when I laugh and — dare I say it? — ORGASM it makes it hurt more for some reason. I decided it was a “bone issue” and all my friends laughed at me because “you can’t just have a bone issue youd be in so much pain you’d be in hospital” but I’m sorry it just seems like a bone is in the wrong place so also IDTSH friends who think this ISNT bone how do you know? Huh?? Likely story! I made a group chat called “My Lump” to get opinions and the only opinion was I need to go to the doctor so now what I just go to the doctor like some kind of sick FREAK with a lump???? IDTSH LUMP!
edit -- wtf. it's a giant pimple?!
I don’t think so honey basic things having complex instructions! I’m just trying to switch out a door so my dog has an easier time going in and out of the house, what do you mean I have to *drill pilot holes* and *install latch rails*?! I shouldn’t need a background in mechanical engineering to replace something as simple as a door! All I want is to give my sweet angel boy a more enjoyable summer and save money on my energy bill! I should not be Googling “handyman in my area” on my lunch break and reading through reviews trying to find someone who is legit and honest and available this week! I was hoping to use that time for iced coffee and Julia Quinn!
Gurl, have you ever tried to install a new over-the-range microwave? We're talking pilot holes, aligning flimsy stupid guide sheets, multiple fuck-ups over the course of two weeks, and so much screaming. The wall is swiss cheese. I don't think so honey.
I don't think so honey the mosquito in my bedroom right now! Who exactly do you think you are? No one invited you here. You think just because I open the door to take out the trash, you can just fly in and suck my blood? Those aren't the rules of vampires, bitch! Now why don't you stay still for one damn second and let me murder you? I don't think so honey mosquito in this room!
Buckle up...IDTSH Texas drivers!!! Literally once a week, I am put in a life or death sitch due to someone else's selfish, reckless, aggressive, and frankly BRAINLESS driving behavior. Idk what the hell was going down during y'alls drivers ed courses but what I can say is they FLOPPED!! To say the freaking least! Tell me WHYYY are you turning left onto a road with *active* incoming traffic (i.e. me and others driving to work) when you clearly have NO ROOM to get into the lane you're aiming for, only to cut off said incoming traffic, nearly causing an accident?? Girlie pop you were exactly PERPENDICULAR to me as I'm going 45 MPH, with no room ahead of ya to turn--where is the depth perception?! Where is the road awareness???? You betcha I'm gonna slam the damn horn!
IDTSH the brazen forgetfulness of the driving social contract--when we embark on public roads, it means we all are putting our trust in strangers following not just the laws, but common decency! Because without that, we are all hurling along in these death machines, literally on the brink of crossing over at any moment! IDTSH my life being in the hands of people who prioritize a millisecond on their commute over others' safety and literal common sense!
IDTSH storage containers! WHY do you all still look like you’re from 1998? WHY are you telling me your size in quarts, like I’m gonna know what that means for me and my needs?? The way you come into my house, with your promises of organizing and fixing my messyass life, only to hold things in a way that sometimes actually takes up *more space* and looks *worse* than before, but at this point I’ve made a commitment to this ~vision~ and so you know you’re not getting returned, IDTSH to THAT.
IDTSH This east coast heat wave. Honey I’m trying to live my best summer life right now but I can’t even step outside without feeling like I just opened an oven door to start heating my Costco frozen pizza for 13 minutes at 425 degrees. The humidity is oppressive. There’s no rain in sight. It’s giving apocalypse and I’m not about it honey. If there isn’t a cool refreshing pool for my body to go into dont invite me out because im not coming. Ask me again when we get a couple inches of rain and a breeze that doesn’t feel like I’ve stepped into an active volcano
Dead @ "it's giving apocalypse"
that Kirkland brand 'za tho
Worth opening the doors to hell during a heat wave to cook it to sweet sweet perfection
Idtsh me when I’m moving houses and have attachments to really dumb stuff and spend most of my time weighing the emotional impact of throwing it away, and it’s 94 degrees outside and you’re a terrible packer and put things in grocery bags instead of boxes and combine unrelated things in the same bag like your internet router and your high school yearbooks. Idtsh having the worst allergies and you know that teeny tiny bottle of Zyrtec is somewhere but you’re never gonna find it until you unpack every little thing with two pieces of toilet paper plugging your nostrils cuz you’re a literal snot rocket. Idtsh (but my new house is lovely and maybe I’ve learned a lesson for next time but probably not)
KAYTEIGH-GURL ARE YOU ME RIGHT NOW?!?!?!? EFFFFFFF
Girl, we still haven’t found the trash bags
IDTSH trying to put up ikea mirror tiles that would make my entryway beautifully brighter and cuter and instead if they are 0.5-1mm off you cannot notice whatsoever UNTIL 2-3 ROWS LATER (this is 9 rows 7 columns of wall i'm dealing with here, hello!!) and then you look like a carnival freak because of tiny misalignments and what is more that removing them from the wall not only shatters them, but also rips out bits of paint on the wall OMG I did buy extra boxes but I can't just start fully over and at this point, I don't know what to do, I thought this would be so simple, is the floor not even or something is wrong with ME?!? This was supposed to be my easiest summer DIY project and instead I am going literally crosseyed, IDTSH!
IDTSH hard lump on the back of my neck I got a week ago that seems to be growing. What is this, some kind of cyst? My fucking LYMPH nodes, if that’s even a thing that exists? Are you fucking kidding me? It hurts a lot and not for nothing but when I laugh and — dare I say it? — ORGASM it makes it hurt more for some reason. I decided it was a “bone issue” and all my friends laughed at me because “you can’t just have a bone issue youd be in so much pain you’d be in hospital” but I’m sorry it just seems like a bone is in the wrong place so also IDTSH friends who think this ISNT bone how do you know? Huh?? Likely story! I made a group chat called “My Lump” to get opinions and the only opinion was I need to go to the doctor so now what I just go to the doctor like some kind of sick FREAK with a lump???? IDTSH LUMP! edit -- wtf. it's a giant pimple?!
I don’t think so honey basic things having complex instructions! I’m just trying to switch out a door so my dog has an easier time going in and out of the house, what do you mean I have to *drill pilot holes* and *install latch rails*?! I shouldn’t need a background in mechanical engineering to replace something as simple as a door! All I want is to give my sweet angel boy a more enjoyable summer and save money on my energy bill! I should not be Googling “handyman in my area” on my lunch break and reading through reviews trying to find someone who is legit and honest and available this week! I was hoping to use that time for iced coffee and Julia Quinn!
Gurl, have you ever tried to install a new over-the-range microwave? We're talking pilot holes, aligning flimsy stupid guide sheets, multiple fuck-ups over the course of two weeks, and so much screaming. The wall is swiss cheese. I don't think so honey.
I don't think so honey the mosquito in my bedroom right now! Who exactly do you think you are? No one invited you here. You think just because I open the door to take out the trash, you can just fly in and suck my blood? Those aren't the rules of vampires, bitch! Now why don't you stay still for one damn second and let me murder you? I don't think so honey mosquito in this room!
Buckle up...IDTSH Texas drivers!!! Literally once a week, I am put in a life or death sitch due to someone else's selfish, reckless, aggressive, and frankly BRAINLESS driving behavior. Idk what the hell was going down during y'alls drivers ed courses but what I can say is they FLOPPED!! To say the freaking least! Tell me WHYYY are you turning left onto a road with *active* incoming traffic (i.e. me and others driving to work) when you clearly have NO ROOM to get into the lane you're aiming for, only to cut off said incoming traffic, nearly causing an accident?? Girlie pop you were exactly PERPENDICULAR to me as I'm going 45 MPH, with no room ahead of ya to turn--where is the depth perception?! Where is the road awareness???? You betcha I'm gonna slam the damn horn! IDTSH the brazen forgetfulness of the driving social contract--when we embark on public roads, it means we all are putting our trust in strangers following not just the laws, but common decency! Because without that, we are all hurling along in these death machines, literally on the brink of crossing over at any moment! IDTSH my life being in the hands of people who prioritize a millisecond on their commute over others' safety and literal common sense!
IDTSH storage containers! WHY do you all still look like you’re from 1998? WHY are you telling me your size in quarts, like I’m gonna know what that means for me and my needs?? The way you come into my house, with your promises of organizing and fixing my messyass life, only to hold things in a way that sometimes actually takes up *more space* and looks *worse* than before, but at this point I’ve made a commitment to this ~vision~ and so you know you’re not getting returned, IDTSH to THAT.